Programma Televisivo: Rescue Me - 6x10
Previously on Rescue Me...
Your heart's working at maybe 50% capacity.
So why don't you just say it?
I'm a dead man.
No, but you're gonna have to give up working.
I'm with Mickey now.
And he is this close to getting Damian to change his mid about his life path.
We were thinking like a bike or a jogging path in Pat's name.
Not every guy who meets an untimely end on his gig gets a public dedication, bro.
I don't accept your amends, and I do not forgive you.
I want you to stay away from me forever.
So, from now on, fresh start.
No booze, no grudges, and no Sheila.
Get a job where you know almost for a fact that you're gonna come home at night.
In your line of work, there's no guarantee you're gonna be here in 2 days from now.
I don't know if I'm really cut out for this.
I mean, you want to get out, it's your decision.
You're saying you want me to stay?
You know, it's up to you.
I had a change of heart.
Told you he'd be back.
Listen, kid, this job is balls out or no balls at all, all right?
Yes.
Balls to the wall.
Got it.
All right, go get 'em.
Lou!
Come on!
Come on, guys, we gotta go!
I know, Dr.
Klein, I know.
But there's a huge canyon between knowing something and accepting it.
You know, it's like as a living, breathing human person, I know what reality is.
But as a mother...
As a mother, I think that...
I still think I see him walking around...
You know, in the neighborhood or at the store.
I even sometimes think that I hear him moving around the apartment.
Ha!
I know.
I know, but I am getting better.
I'm keeping myself very busy.
So...
How am I doing on the blame?
Ah, I still blame myself...
And him.
Mostly him.
No, no, no, no, I'm kidding.
I'm joking.
Listen, is it cold outside?
Like, did you have to wear a coat, or do I need a coat and a sweater?
No.
Dr.
Klein, I'm not avoiding the issue.
Damian chose to ride the truck that night.
He chose to join the fire department, so if I was to blame anybody, I...
I'd blame that stupid baby that he saved the week before the accident.
Saving that baby is what sent him over the moon about the job, so...
No.
I do not...
I do not blame anybody.
Right?
Ooh!
I gotta go.
Yeah, OK, OK, OK.
What is the...
what's the mantra for the day?
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
Ah, I can't believe how well that works sometimes.
Ha!
I know, yes.
Yes, same time tomorrow.
Dr.
Klein, thank you so much for doing these phone sessions with me.
You're really, like...
You're really saving my life.
Yes.
Ok.
Ok, bye.
Hello.
Sorry I'm late.
Traffic was a bitch.
I could have walked here faster.
Hey, how was your, uh...
Phone thing?
Ok, you have got to stop...
Beating yourself up about this.
Jesus Christ, it's not your fault.
I know, I know, I know.
Ok, listen, I got you...
Ok? "
It's not your fault."
Overcoming the blame game and getting your life back on track.
What, stupid?
I knew it.
I shouldn't have.
No.
You went to a bookstore?
What, it's impossible for me to go into a book...
You know, I read a lot of books.
About baseball.
No, no.
Not just baseball.
Football, hockey...
Uh-huh.
Golf.
Don't even play golf.
Never played golf.
I've read, like, 6 books about the Kennedys.
I read that giant Mickey Mantle biography, which doesn't count as a baseball book because it was mostly about drinking.
Ok, all right.
I'm sorry.
It was very nice of you to get it for me.
It was actually in the magazine aisle at the supermarket, but I think it's a pretty important book.
It's got a quote from Dr.
Oz on it, and I think he's on "Oprah," right?
Yes, he is on "Oprah."
Ok.
So...
and I got the chicken we were talking about, OK?
And I got the protein powder that Franco was telling me about.
'Cause the protein thing's working, right?
The diet?
Oh.
You know, I've been so frazzled, it's hard for me to tell, but I have got to get going because I really, really, really want to catch that specialist.
Hey, but I really...
I want you to read this book.
I will.
I promise you I'm gonna read that book.
All right.
Has anybody heard from Mickey?
Teddy said he saw him at a meeting, which means, you know, he's not drinking.
Couldn't happen to a nicer douchebag.
I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Hey.
Handsome.
I'm gonna go see a man about a drug that's gonna help you walk again.
Uncle Tommy's right over there, OK?
All right, pal.
I'm gonna make your favorite chicken tuna thing.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com ♪ On another day, c'mon, c'mon with these ropes I tied, can we do no wrong now we grieve cause now is gone things were good of a thousand men who have come and gone now we grieve cause now is gone things were good when we were young is it safe to say?
C'mon, c'mon was it right to leave?
C'mon, c'mon will I ever learn?
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon ♪ Gentlemen, I got the official word.
You're a moron.
Gonna ignore that.
Why, because you can't think of a good comeback?
Oh, no, my friend, I got a good comeback.
Let's hear it.
Well, no, it's too late now.
Oh, by all means, let me cue you again.
You're a moron.
Anyhow...
Ha ha!
Listen.
The official word is this.
Tomorrow, Central Park will be the official unveiling of the Patrick James Mahoney memorial pavilion.
Sweet.
- Pat's mom...
She wants, like, a sunset ceremony, so I thought we'd head over there after work, you know, show a sign of support.
Yeah.
Shit, yeah.
Hell, I hope I get a pavilion when I burn up.
A pavilion's the shit, man.
A pavilion.
What is a pavilion?
I think it's some kind of building.
No, no, no.
I think it's sort of like a Plaza, an open-air walkway kind of thing, you know?
Nah, it's a building.
Fancy, big windows.
Well, I'm glad you guys are as confused as I am.
'Cause when I first heard it, I thought it was like a big number.
You know, after a jillion comes a pavilion.
And with that, we have looped all the way back to "you're a moron."
First of all, young Einstein, there's no such thing as a jillion.
Not true.
I went to High School with a girl named Jillian.
Nasty.
Let you feel her up, blow your socks off, just for a can of coke.
Geez, imagine what you can get for a 12-can refrigerator pack.
Or if you had a pavilion cans.
Imagine that.
So many cans...
Ok, why we talking about pavilions?
Well, because tomorrow after work, Pat Mahoney is getting a pavilion named for him in Central Park.
We're all going down.
Count me in.
Oh, and by the way, I think that we should bring Damian with us.
You think?
- Yeah, but the kid's in a chair, Sean...
like fresh in a chair.
But he's been in the house, what, 2 months now?
What Tommy's been saying, Sheila's been on the kid day and night.
Although, I gotta tell you, I don't know how she's gonna feel about having this motley crew rolling her not-so-bouncing baby boy into the middle of goddamn Central Park.
Come on, Lou, what could go wrong?
Well, I mean, first thing, the kid's sitting there like a statue.
Uh-huh.
Pigeons.
Oh!
Oh, man!
Come on!
- What?
Seriously.
Hey, come on.
This is about not forgetting our heroes.
I mean, Damian's the hero as much as the next guy.
Is he not?
Right.
I mean, we want to forget him?
Come on.
Maybe you're not such a moron.
No, no, no, he's a moron, but he makes a good point.
Hey, guys.
Unbelievable.
Pat's memorial?
Tomorrow.
I heard.
You guys are not gonna guess who I saw.
You'll never guess in a million years.
How about a pavilion years?
You beat me to it.
Mikey, who?
Ok, so I go to this little bodega, right?
And it's a bodega that I don't actually usually go to, but I went today.
Spit it out, Mikey.- Get on with it.
And I'm going down the aisle, and I'm thinking about what I'm gonna get.
Oh, my God.
What's with all the buildup, bro?
Jesus!
What, dude?
I'm...
With a buildup like this, you better be telling us you saw Angelina Jolie doing a 1-handed handstand in a short skirt and no panties.
I saw Mickey.
Oh, shit, Mikey.
Where's Tommy?
He's gonna want to hear this.
He was in the bunk room last time I saw.
You sure it was him?
Yeah.
I mean, like, you talked to the guy?
Yes.
What did he say? "
Hi, Mike."
Oh, wow.
Where was this?
Like, 2 blocks away, Lou.
Guy's got some set of balls, showing his face in this neighborhood again.
Yeah, guy's got some set of balls doing what he did in the first place, you know?
Hey, Lou.
Somebody's here to see you.
Maybe it's Mick.
He ain't got balls that big.
This guy says he's your doctor?
Last time you were in my office, didn't we talk about you retiring?
Look, um, we just lost a guy on our crew...
a young kid.
So right now, it's kind of all has on deck, if you know what I mean.
For me to just walk away...
Yeah, or crawl away, which is more likely.
Look, maybe a couple of months?
I..I..I don't know.
You think I don't know what you're up to?
You have a department physical coming up, right?
A physical you are guaranteed not to pass.
And you want me to get you off the hook, give you a clean bill of health, lie to the FDNY.
So you good with that?
Oh, Christ.
This is all I know how to do, doc.
I don't fish.
I don't golf.
I fight fires.
And I eat cake.
So you take away the fires, and I promise you, 3 weeks, a month, tops, I will be dead due to cake-related injuries.
Can you live with that?
If I lie for you and you die in a fire and some or all of your beloved crew dies trying to save you, can you live with that?
Enjoy your cake.
Hey!
Shh!
Ok.
Dad.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Can you help me with my essay?
Uh, sure, honey, just give me 2 seconds.
I just want to...
Yeah, well, mom said you knew a lot about the Vietnam war, and that's what it's on and it's due tomorrow.
Expert on the Vietnam war.
2 seconds.
Ok?
Yeah.
Hey!
You missed the meeting.
Last night, you said you'd take me to the St.
Celia Tuesday night AA meeting?
Oh!
And I waited, and now it's too late.
Oh, shit!
I totally forgot.
Really?
I never would have guessed.
Oh, boy.
She's pissed, huh?
Yeah?
Well, we're all pissed, except for Wyatt, and that's only because he's a baby.
Although I'm sure his little sponge brain is already soaking up the disappointment, broken promises, and general A.D.D.
malaise that is Tommy Gavin.
What's that supposed to mean?
Dad.
Yeah.
Vietnam?
Two minutes, honey.
Okay?
What?
What is that...
what was that thing you said?
The malaise?
Oh, that's just a fancy-ass way of saying bullshit.
Ok, no.
The other thing.
A.D.D.
You, Tommy, have emotional A.D.D.
Ok, you keep promising the world to your children and to your wife, and then you spend half of your waking hours spoon-feeding your brain-damaged godson and giving emotional support to your ex-girlfriend.
I mean, you missed 3 dinners this week.
And right now, you were supposed to be at the St.
Celia CYC AA.
Ok, not to mention the FDNY thing, the P.A.L.
thing, and the PTA thing...
all of which you missed last week.
Tommy, you promised me that you would be focused here at home on us.
But no, you are so busy trying to save the goddamn world, rescuing people from fires, from cars, Sheila, Damian, every other goddamn soul on this planet, except your own goddamn family.
I mean, it's like you have OCD, except instead of germs, you're obsessed with saving strangers.
You know, when it comes to Sheila...
Have you thought about PTSD when it comes to her?
Honey, I told you, I got tested.
She got tested...
PTSD...
post-traumatic stress disorder, Tommy.
And thank you for that visual.
Ok.
I don't know.
Maybe I do have A.D.D.
and CBS and NHL, the LPA.
I don't know.
I'm just one guy, you know, with one family.
No.
With 2 families.
Ok.
2 families.
You know...
Ok, has Mickey resurfaced yet?
A couple of the guys saw him, but he's not helping out.
He's not involved.
He doesn't know...
Ok, so Damian and your girlfriend are now your responsibility.
Jesus Christ.
It's not my girlfriend.
This is not a girlfriend thing.
This is a family thing.
Listen, if I'd never slept with her and this had happened to Damian, wouldn't you expect me to be doing exactly what I'm doing just for Jimmy's sake?
Yes, yes.
Ok, see?
Yes, but you did sleep with her, and that is the difference.
Look, Katy has a dance recital tomorrow night, and Colleen has her 50th meeting in 50 days.
You need to be there for both.
Jesus Christ.
Dad.
Vietnam, right.
What have you got so far?
Ok, I have that once we got in, we couldn't get out.
And both sides dug their heels in and neither one would let up any ground.
And that's basically the main idea, right?
Don't I know it.
What?
We're talking American history here.
So you're gonna be with him at this pavilion hoosie-whatsie, right?
Yeah.
Then I shouldn't worry.
I mean, I would go.
It's just that I really want to catch this specialist, you know.
It's like he's only here one week out of every year.
Yeah.
Listen, it'll do him some good to be out of the house.
You know what I mean?
I guess.
Besides, you know what, you've gotta drive the van.
It's not that I don't trust the guys.
It's just that honestly, that van cost more than all of them put together.
Ok, I am the only person who will be driving the van.
I guarantee you that.
Ok?
So this specialist, he has got a clinic in Zurich.
And he is into this whole alternative form of therapy.
And it's wicked expensive, but he says that the proteins are great.
He just wants to add some injectable steroids and then a series of blood supplements.
And it's 25 grand a month.
But he has got a patient in Sweden who's getting the circulation feeling back in his legs.
Yeah, 'cause he's sitting on an empty wallet.
25 grand.
A lot of money.
I don't care what it costs.
No, I know.
I know.
I want Damian to walk again.
Right.
Right.
Hey, you're reading...
this, huh?
What?
Oh, yeah.
I have.
You know, I really love those self-help books.
I feel like no matter what they have to offer with, like, either, you know, weight or quit smoking or grief, they do have something to offer that's worth it.
And I think that's why they sell so well.
Yeah.
To chicks.
You've never read a self-help book?
I read "How to Throw a Football" by Johnny Unitas when I was, like, 12.
And then again when I was, like, 35 when Damian and I joined that flag football league.
Jimmy used to call it "fag football" league.
It was pretty faggy, which is why I threw, like, 48 touchdown passes when I was playing quarterback that year.
Listen, I really appreciate you've been doing for the both of us.
It's been...
Don't mention it.
You don't have to say anything about that.
Jimmy's definitely looking down and he sees what a good man and friend...
best friend...
You don't have to say it.
You are being, unlike Mickey.
Douchebag.
Mm-hmm.
What did he say, exactly?
He said some very hurtful things.
He couldn't handle it.
No.
You know what, just don't get me started, all right?
What I want to say is that I really...
Those things I said to you about hating you, I just was...
No, no, no, no, listen.
Forget about that.
I know.
You don't hate me.
You don't blame me.
I blame myself.
No, you shouldn't.
It was me.
I was the one that talked him into being a firefighter.
Did he want to do it, yeah.
But you know, I pushed him in that direction, you know, so...
Yes, but I should have done more of the, like, reverse psychology thing and kept telling him that I wanted him to be a firefighter.
The reverse psychology thing is ridiculous.
That was never gonna work, no.
It was...
You know, he wanted to go back on the rig, but I urged him.
I shouldn't have done it, you know.
Yeah, and you shouldn't have shown him his father's badge.
Are you talking about the badge that you gave me specifically to save and keep for him?
The one to keep the hell out of my house?
Yes.
The house you suffocated him in.
What is it, honey?
Are you OK?
What?
Give him a drink.
Here, here.
See if you can get it, Damian.
Come on.
Yeah, a little more.
Whoa!
Ha ha ha!
Wow!
Yeah!
Look at that.
Goddamn Mickey.
Rat bastard.
You want to blame somebody...
He's the guy to point the finger at!
Scumbag.
Hello.
I'm gonna start drinking again.
Coll, where are you?
Hey.
You didn't start drinking again, did you?
Not yet.
Good.
Thank God.
Look at this cart.
I mean, this would only work for our family if we were midgets.
Yeah, or normal.
What's the story?
I'm just picking out all my old favorites.
Oh, this is my favorite.
Oh, my gosh.
It goes down so clean and smooth.
But, I don't have to tell you that.
Hello, you.
Oh, you and I were best friends once.
Good-bye.
Don't kiss the bottle.
Goddamn, what's up?
Here's the deal.
You were supposed to be my sponsor, which was a stupid idea to begin with and even more idiotic now that I realize that in trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days, out of the 49 I've hit so far, you've only been with me for 10 of them.
No.
One-zero.
Ok, and every time I try to call you to talk about booze or an urge to drink or something about recovery that I desperately need to know, you not only don't pick up, you don't even call me back or text me.
Honey, I can't text.
My fingers are too big.
I tried typing in "what's going on," and it sends out a text saying "who's blowing Juan?"
I can't do it.
Here's the thing.
I don't even want to drink this stuff right now.
That's good, honey.
I just wanted to see how fast you'd get down here if I lit a fire under your ass.
You know I have a lot of stuff going on, OK?
I'm trying to juggle everything at work and at home.
Meaning Damian.
He's crippled.
So am I, by a disease I inherited from you!
Shh!
Keep it down.
My 50th meeting is tonight.
Ok?
And I'd really like my sponsor to be there.
On time!
Hey, sorry, man.
I got so much...
Been here about 20 minutes.
Hi, Chief.
Hi, Tom.
Can you guys give Tom and me a minute or two here, please?
Sure, yeah, no problem.
I brought these for you. "
Cam Neely's Greatest Hockey Hits"...
And "Friends of Eddie Coyle."
I should have gotten them back to you a long time ago, you know...
I know how crazy you are about your Robert Mitchum collection.
And?
That's it?
He's leaving?
Oh, I had a sawbuck on him kicking your ass.
Go back into the kitchen.
Hey!
You got something you want to say to me, tough guy?
Get in there!
You heard me!
Get the hell back in there!
All right.
We can stand here all morning knocking the snot out of each other, or you can shut your goddamn yap for 2 seconds and listen to what I gotta say.
Unless you're gonna say you're a gutless, spineless, no balls pussy, I don't want to hear it.
I'd rather just keep doing this.
At least I get some satisfaction out of it.
All right.
Is that what you want to hear?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm a no-good, gutless, spineless pussy, OK, who abandoned his girlfriend and a paralyzed kid because I'm just a self-centered goddamn asshole!
Does that about cover it?
Yeah.
Did you guys hear that?
Yep!
Actually, that last part was a little garbled.
The trouble is, fellas, we only bet the physical confrontation, so there's some money kind of hanging in the balance.
Come here.
I want you guys to hear this.
You want to know why I left Sheila?
It's not because I'm a coward or I'm a pussy or I suck like this guy's telling you.
It's because I couldn't take it anymore.
All right, she's wasting her whole life, all her energy, her time, her money, her hope on a string of quacks!
Endless.
Pills, protein powders, injections, aqua acupuncture.
What is that?
I don't know.
She's going for every bit of it hook, line, and sinker.
So I try to tell her.
You know, I was just trying to tell her the truth...
What this guy should be telling her and everybody else, which is Damian ain't ever walking again.
He is as is.
Done.
So she told me to take a hike.
I didn't come down here to tell you guys that it took a lot of balls to tell her that...
the truth.
But I'm here to say it took a little bit of balls.
And if any of yous had any, you'd tell her the same thing...
Soon.
Be safe.
Well, always good to see Mick.
It's a shitter.
What?
What are you talking about?
The Patrick James Mahoney memorial pavilion is a comfort station.
In other words...
A crapper?
Yeah.
How the hell did this happen?
Hey.
Didn't start yet, right?
Sorry.
Couldn't get the ramp back in the van.
The van cost an arm and a leg and it didn't have an automatic...
Ramp...
Um...
What's wrong?
Well, they decided to honor Patrick James Mahoney, our fallen brother...
A hero.
With a shit pavilion.
I don't know.
Looks pretty good to me.
Not in form, in function.
They got his name on a plaque.
Go ahead.
Go look behind that blue curtain.
It's a crapatorium, Tom.
A turd temple.
A boo-boo barn.
A fudge hole.
Yeah, you know, we need a guy in a suit right now.
Excuse me, sir?
Yeah, can I help you?
Yeah, we're FDNY.
Listen, we're just trying to figure out why the city decided to honor our brother with a restroom.
Yeah, the guy gets cancer working down at ground zero, and you guys think that this is a...
that this is...
fits?
That this is...
Appropriate?
No.
That ain't it, dude.
Are any of you members of the Mahoney family?
Not technically, no, but, Jesus...
Look, the family was given a list of possible naming options.
This is the one they chose.
They wanted a Central Park pavilion.
Well, were they made aware the pavilion in this case means outhouse?
Look, guys, your friend is being honored here today, whether you believe it or not.
Just go with the flow.
Hey, problem is, the flow is full of feces, pal.
You know, this is a slap in the goddamn face is what it is.
Pat Mahoney was no different than the men who died when those towers came down.
He's dead because he was working such long hours on that cancerous pile of shit.
So, what, you didn't have a urinal to offer the guy?
Something smaller, more insignificant?
You want to make a scene, tough guys?
How about I bring Mr.
Mahoney's mother over here so you can ruin this day for her?
Would that make you happy?
Thanks for nothing, pal.
We appreciate it.
Thanks, buddy.
Have a good day, asshole.
What a dick.
What's going on?
What's the ruckus?
Hey, where the hell you been?
I had a long walk from the car.
I had to take a leak.
Well, you didn't do it in there, did you?
What?
What?
No, I whipped my dick out in front of the crowd and did a little pissing dance.
What are you talking about?
Lou, you just took a leak in Pat's pavilion.
No, I took a leak at Pat's pavilion.
No, dude, in.
Pat Mahoney's pavilion is a public shitter.
You're kidding me.
Nah.
Jesus Christ.
I thought the pavilion was this whole kind of area out here, therefore, the shitter was pavilion-adjacent.
Oh, Christ.
I gotta talk to the family.
The family doesn't need to know.
No, I really gotta talk to them.
In other words...
You didn't...
don't tell me that you...
Oh, Jesus.
Lou dropped the deuce in Pat's memorial.
Come on, Lou!
Guys, I had a huge lunch, and it had to be tacos.
Ohh!
You know, I gotta get out of here.
Why?
Where you going?
I'm not gonna stand here and watch a good man be insulted this way.
Franc, I'm sorry, it was tacos.
It wasn't me.
And I'm not talking about you, Lou.
I just, I refuse to believe that a man gives his life doing his job, doing it well...
And this is the way he's remembered.
You know, it ain't right.
Pat deserves better, much better.
You know what, you're right.
He does.
How do you mean?
All right, I tell you what.
Here, take my keys.
You and Mikey go to my car.
In the back, in the trunk there's a toolbox.
Get it, bring it over here, pronto.
I like the sound of that.
Yeah, yeah, you know what?
It sounds great.
Pulling it off is not gonna be so easy.
Yeah.
Where are you?
The meeting's in 15 minutes.
I'm at an FDNY thing in the middle of Central Park.
You know what, just forget it.
Are you home?
No, I'm at the church.
And mom is home waiting for you to pick her up at the house for Katy's dancing.
Which is when?
You've got to be at the school in an hour and a half.
Well, you know what, maybe I'll swing by the meeting on way over to the...
You know what?
Don't sweat it.
I've already found another sponsor.
Who?
Me, asshole!
You might have baptized her back into sobriety, but I'll be in charge of her confirmation.
Now get your no-good ass home and take my other favorite niece to her dance bullshit!
Now!
Hey, I gotta take off.
Here's the keys to the van.
I need you to watch it and Damian, OK?
I'm gonna get your keys from the morons, and I'm gonna borrow your car, all right?
All right, all right.
And after we're done here, I'll bring him home.
No, no.
I gotta take him home.
Ok, so, I'll call and check in with you later to find out where you are, come pick him up.
What am I supposed to do with him?
I don't know.
Take him dancing.
And so, it's with great pride and with the great appreciation of the city of New York for his many years of service that we dedicate the Patrick James Mahoney pavilion.
Ah...
Hmm.
Ahem.
Yes.
Now, this...
this is a goddamn pavilion.
Yeah?
You gonna take a shit here, too?
Yeah, this looks good, Lou.
But you know it ain't gonna last.
They're gonna take this down, bro.
I'd like to see 'em try.
I used my homemade ninja glue to put this thing up.
They want to take it down, they're gonna have to knock the whole goddamn wall down.
Yeah, well, apparently you never heard that old saying "you can't beat City Hall."
What's the point of doing this if nobody knows it's here?
Hey, we know it's here.
And Pat knows, wherever he is.
It's good enough for me.
Guys!
I think security's coming!
All right, gentlemen, let's celebrate.
Yeah.
Where's my son?
What?
I come home and my son is nowhere to be found.
How long was the thing in the park?
Just got out.
Just got out.
So then, you're on your way home?
Yeah, yeah, but there's a shitload of traffic so it's gonna take a while.
Ok, well, listen...
There's this, like, seminar thing where this expert is gonna talk about paralysis and regenerative movement, and I really, really want to go.
You go.
You need to go to that.
Thank you.
Ooh!
Let me say hi to Damian.
Well, the thing is, I'm driving, so it's not...
it's against the law now to talk on a cell phone while you're driving.
I shouldn't be talking to you right now.
Yeah, I would like him to hear my voice.
Alright, here we go, here he is.
Hey, sweetie!
Did you have fun with the guys in the park?
Did you miss your old ma?
Happy now?
I think he answered me.
Did you hear that?
He's never done that before.
That must be the protein.
I think that the protein's working.
Do you think it's protein?
Nah.
I wouldn't put too much on the protein.
Look, there's a cop up ahead.
I gotta go.
Ok?
Goddamn it.
Hey, shithead, where the hell are you?
Hey.
Well, Damian didn't want to go dancing, so we took him to the bar.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ!
Hey, just relax, will you?
We're not feeding him drinks.
We're feeding him beer nuts, and we're feeding him pretzels, but no drinks.
Don't put anything in his mouth!
Goddamn it!
All right, all right, hold on a second.
He's trying to...
He wants to tell you something.
Spit it out, Damian.
Uh, yeah, he says you're an asshole.
Yeah, you're a regular riot.
I'm gonna be there in 10 minutes, asshole.
You're looking good, buddy.
Ah, Dame.
What do you think he's thinking, Matt?
I don't know.
Nothing?
Or maybe he's having a great time.
How would you know?
Yeah, I don't know.
I just thought maybe one brain-damaged individual might give us some insight into the thoughts of another.
Ha ha ha!
Another what?
Check, please!
Guys, I'm sorry.
Like, I don't mean to sound mean or insensitive or anything, but I think it's really weird that we have him hanging around like this.
Look at him.
he's fine.
He likes it.
Is he OK?
Well, actually, he's paralyzed, and he's got a little bit of brain damage, too.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
Was he in a car accident or something?
No.
He was a firefighter.
We're all firefighters.
He was on our crew.
It happened on a call, a big fire.
Do you guys still hang out with him?
Yeah.
Oh, that's sweet.
Yeah, well, you know, hey, once a brother, always a brother, right?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.
I'm Franco, by the way.
This is Sean.
Hi.
Hi.
Black Shawn here.
And this right here is Damey-Dame.
Damian, actually.
And this one...
whatever.
Mike.
So you guys take care of him and everything?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I feed him.
Oh, that's so great.
I'm gonna go outside and wait for Tom...
And maybe puke.
I have to stay and see how low the crowded elevator's gonna go.
And you know, I dress him.
And I wash him, and I bathe him, as it were.
- Seriously?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I mean, most of him.
I do his torso, arms, legs, face.
Try to avoid the groin.
That's a little gay.
We'll leave that to Mike.
Ha ha!
- He's kidding.
So, you don't help take care of him?
Yeah, yeah, sure, I do.
What do you do?
Uh, I change his diaper, actually.
Eww!
Eww!
Yeah, so, ladies, you think we might be able to interest you in a couple of drinks over by the bar?
Yeah, yeah, I think we'd like that.
All right, I know we would.
It's just so nice to meet men that are so...caring.
Thanks for that, Shawn.
Thank you, buddy.
Thanks.
Whoa.
Got it.
Yeah, nice work.
Thank you.
So why don't you guys just go grab a couple of stools over there.
We'll be right over.
All right.
- Nice to meet you guys.
See you in a second.
Right.
Fantastic.
Oh, my God.
How easy was that?
What the hell was happening?
I don't understand.
Jesus, we just made 3 chicks in under 45 seconds.
That's gotta be some kind of land pussy speed record or something, even for me.
You know what it is?
It's not us.
It's him.
You know what, you're right, bro.
I mean, he is, without a doubt the ultimate wingman.
You know, he attracts chicks.
He doesn't mess with your game.
He won't dominate the conversation, that's for sure, and he can't cock-block you.
It's unbelievable.
He's like a paralyzed pussy magnet.
You know what, I'm taking him with me on Saturday.
Ok, all right, well, I want him on Friday, and I want Saturday next weekend.
No, no, we'll switch off every other weekend, back and forth.
You know what, that's perfect, bro.
Yeah.
Guys, when do I get him?
Why don't you go wash your hands, diaper boy?
That's bullshit.
If you guys are gonna...
That's enough!
I cannot believe you!
I'm just sitting over there listening to you balloonheads actually using our paralyzed probie for you guys picking up pussy.
You know, you're right.
Sorry, chief.
Yeah, sorry.
Terrible, man.
Shameless action.
Ahh...But look at that pussy.
I know.
We don't want it getting cold.
Let's go.
Let's hurry.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Who are these guys?
I know.
You gotta start hanging out with a better class of people, Hey, what happened to your friend?
He's a firefighter.
Are you a firefighter?
Nah...
Nah.
I'm the chief.
What's your name?
Abby.
Abby?
Yeah.
That's lovely.
Thanks.
Shameful.
Oh, God, come on!
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Yeah.
You missed it.
I already talked to Colleen, all right?
You missed Colleen's meeting, too?
I didn't know that.
I was talking about Katy's dance recital.
Honey, something came up, OK?
Yeah, something involving Damian.
Pat Mahoney's pavilion dedication.
You know, things are running behind.
You know, what do you want me to do?
Ok, look, Tommy, I don't want to sound cold here, but Pat Mahoney is dead and gone.
Ok, and for all intents and purposes, so is Damian.
But your daughter, on the other hand, she is here, and she still needs her father.
And more amazingly, she still wants her father.
How long do you think that's gonna last if you keep neglecting her?
How did she do?
She was...
Words don't do it justice.
You had to be there.
Yeah.
Anything else you want to tell me?
What, about tonight?
In general.
Anything, uh...On your mind?
Yeah.
If you want to rescue the world, start with your children.
Ahh!
I'm gonna start upstairs.
You stay in here and finish the Pat Mahoney pavilion.
The what?
Who the hell is Pat Mahoney?
Some important dead mick.
I gotta know everything?
Is this new?
I been working for City Hall for 6 years, I never seen it before.
Man, that's your problem, man.
You're not very observant.
How else you gonna have success in life?
Maybe that's why he has a pavilion and you don't.
Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a pavilion.
I gotta clean the goddamn thing.
Oh...
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com You did this to me, Tommy.
Your heart's working at maybe 50% capacity.
So why don't you just say it?
I'm a dead man.
No, but you're gonna have to give up working.
I'm with Mickey now.
And he is this close to getting Damian to change his mid about his life path.
We were thinking like a bike or a jogging path in Pat's name.
Not every guy who meets an untimely end on his gig gets a public dedication, bro.
I don't accept your amends, and I do not forgive you.
I want you to stay away from me forever.
So, from now on, fresh start.
No booze, no grudges, and no Sheila.
Get a job where you know almost for a fact that you're gonna come home at night.
In your line of work, there's no guarantee you're gonna be here in 2 days from now.
I don't know if I'm really cut out for this.
I mean, you want to get out, it's your decision.
You're saying you want me to stay?
You know, it's up to you.
I had a change of heart.
Told you he'd be back.
Listen, kid, this job is balls out or no balls at all, all right?
Yes.
Balls to the wall.
Got it.
All right, go get 'em.
Lou!
Come on!
Come on, guys, we gotta go!
I know, Dr.
Klein, I know.
But there's a huge canyon between knowing something and accepting it.
You know, it's like as a living, breathing human person, I know what reality is.
But as a mother...
As a mother, I think that...
I still think I see him walking around...
You know, in the neighborhood or at the store.
I even sometimes think that I hear him moving around the apartment.
Ha!
I know.
I know, but I am getting better.
I'm keeping myself very busy.
So...
How am I doing on the blame?
Ah, I still blame myself...
And him.
Mostly him.
No, no, no, no, I'm kidding.
I'm joking.
Listen, is it cold outside?
Like, did you have to wear a coat, or do I need a coat and a sweater?
No.
Dr.
Klein, I'm not avoiding the issue.
Damian chose to ride the truck that night.
He chose to join the fire department, so if I was to blame anybody, I...
I'd blame that stupid baby that he saved the week before the accident.
Saving that baby is what sent him over the moon about the job, so...
No.
I do not...
I do not blame anybody.
Right?
Ooh!
I gotta go.
Yeah, OK, OK, OK.
What is the...
what's the mantra for the day?
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
Ah, I can't believe how well that works sometimes.
Ha!
I know, yes.
Yes, same time tomorrow.
Dr.
Klein, thank you so much for doing these phone sessions with me.
You're really, like...
You're really saving my life.
Yes.
Ok.
Ok, bye.
Hello.
Sorry I'm late.
Traffic was a bitch.
I could have walked here faster.
Hey, how was your, uh...
Phone thing?
Ok, you have got to stop...
Beating yourself up about this.
Jesus Christ, it's not your fault.
I know, I know, I know.
Ok, listen, I got you...
Ok? "
It's not your fault."
Overcoming the blame game and getting your life back on track.
What, stupid?
I knew it.
I shouldn't have.
No.
You went to a bookstore?
What, it's impossible for me to go into a book...
You know, I read a lot of books.
About baseball.
No, no.
Not just baseball.
Football, hockey...
Uh-huh.
Golf.
Don't even play golf.
Never played golf.
I've read, like, 6 books about the Kennedys.
I read that giant Mickey Mantle biography, which doesn't count as a baseball book because it was mostly about drinking.
Ok, all right.
I'm sorry.
It was very nice of you to get it for me.
It was actually in the magazine aisle at the supermarket, but I think it's a pretty important book.
It's got a quote from Dr.
Oz on it, and I think he's on "Oprah," right?
Yes, he is on "Oprah."
Ok.
So...
and I got the chicken we were talking about, OK?
And I got the protein powder that Franco was telling me about.
'Cause the protein thing's working, right?
The diet?
Oh.
You know, I've been so frazzled, it's hard for me to tell, but I have got to get going because I really, really, really want to catch that specialist.
Hey, but I really...
I want you to read this book.
I will.
I promise you I'm gonna read that book.
All right.
Has anybody heard from Mickey?
Teddy said he saw him at a meeting, which means, you know, he's not drinking.
Couldn't happen to a nicer douchebag.
I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Hey.
Handsome.
I'm gonna go see a man about a drug that's gonna help you walk again.
Uncle Tommy's right over there, OK?
All right, pal.
I'm gonna make your favorite chicken tuna thing.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com ♪ On another day, c'mon, c'mon with these ropes I tied, can we do no wrong now we grieve cause now is gone things were good of a thousand men who have come and gone now we grieve cause now is gone things were good when we were young is it safe to say?
C'mon, c'mon was it right to leave?
C'mon, c'mon will I ever learn?
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon ♪ Gentlemen, I got the official word.
You're a moron.
Gonna ignore that.
Why, because you can't think of a good comeback?
Oh, no, my friend, I got a good comeback.
Let's hear it.
Well, no, it's too late now.
Oh, by all means, let me cue you again.
You're a moron.
Anyhow...
Ha ha!
Listen.
The official word is this.
Tomorrow, Central Park will be the official unveiling of the Patrick James Mahoney memorial pavilion.
Sweet.
- Pat's mom...
She wants, like, a sunset ceremony, so I thought we'd head over there after work, you know, show a sign of support.
Yeah.
Shit, yeah.
Hell, I hope I get a pavilion when I burn up.
A pavilion's the shit, man.
A pavilion.
What is a pavilion?
I think it's some kind of building.
No, no, no.
I think it's sort of like a Plaza, an open-air walkway kind of thing, you know?
Nah, it's a building.
Fancy, big windows.
Well, I'm glad you guys are as confused as I am.
'Cause when I first heard it, I thought it was like a big number.
You know, after a jillion comes a pavilion.
And with that, we have looped all the way back to "you're a moron."
First of all, young Einstein, there's no such thing as a jillion.
Not true.
I went to High School with a girl named Jillian.
Nasty.
Let you feel her up, blow your socks off, just for a can of coke.
Geez, imagine what you can get for a 12-can refrigerator pack.
Or if you had a pavilion cans.
Imagine that.
So many cans...
Ok, why we talking about pavilions?
Well, because tomorrow after work, Pat Mahoney is getting a pavilion named for him in Central Park.
We're all going down.
Count me in.
Oh, and by the way, I think that we should bring Damian with us.
You think?
- Yeah, but the kid's in a chair, Sean...
like fresh in a chair.
But he's been in the house, what, 2 months now?
What Tommy's been saying, Sheila's been on the kid day and night.
Although, I gotta tell you, I don't know how she's gonna feel about having this motley crew rolling her not-so-bouncing baby boy into the middle of goddamn Central Park.
Come on, Lou, what could go wrong?
Well, I mean, first thing, the kid's sitting there like a statue.
Uh-huh.
Pigeons.
Oh!
Oh, man!
Come on!
- What?
Seriously.
Hey, come on.
This is about not forgetting our heroes.
I mean, Damian's the hero as much as the next guy.
Is he not?
Right.
I mean, we want to forget him?
Come on.
Maybe you're not such a moron.
No, no, no, he's a moron, but he makes a good point.
Hey, guys.
Unbelievable.
Pat's memorial?
Tomorrow.
I heard.
You guys are not gonna guess who I saw.
You'll never guess in a million years.
How about a pavilion years?
You beat me to it.
Mikey, who?
Ok, so I go to this little bodega, right?
And it's a bodega that I don't actually usually go to, but I went today.
Spit it out, Mikey.- Get on with it.
And I'm going down the aisle, and I'm thinking about what I'm gonna get.
Oh, my God.
What's with all the buildup, bro?
Jesus!
What, dude?
I'm...
With a buildup like this, you better be telling us you saw Angelina Jolie doing a 1-handed handstand in a short skirt and no panties.
I saw Mickey.
Oh, shit, Mikey.
Where's Tommy?
He's gonna want to hear this.
He was in the bunk room last time I saw.
You sure it was him?
Yeah.
I mean, like, you talked to the guy?
Yes.
What did he say? "
Hi, Mike."
Oh, wow.
Where was this?
Like, 2 blocks away, Lou.
Guy's got some set of balls, showing his face in this neighborhood again.
Yeah, guy's got some set of balls doing what he did in the first place, you know?
Hey, Lou.
Somebody's here to see you.
Maybe it's Mick.
He ain't got balls that big.
This guy says he's your doctor?
Last time you were in my office, didn't we talk about you retiring?
Look, um, we just lost a guy on our crew...
a young kid.
So right now, it's kind of all has on deck, if you know what I mean.
For me to just walk away...
Yeah, or crawl away, which is more likely.
Look, maybe a couple of months?
I..I..I don't know.
You think I don't know what you're up to?
You have a department physical coming up, right?
A physical you are guaranteed not to pass.
And you want me to get you off the hook, give you a clean bill of health, lie to the FDNY.
So you good with that?
Oh, Christ.
This is all I know how to do, doc.
I don't fish.
I don't golf.
I fight fires.
And I eat cake.
So you take away the fires, and I promise you, 3 weeks, a month, tops, I will be dead due to cake-related injuries.
Can you live with that?
If I lie for you and you die in a fire and some or all of your beloved crew dies trying to save you, can you live with that?
Enjoy your cake.
Hey!
Shh!
Ok.
Dad.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Can you help me with my essay?
Uh, sure, honey, just give me 2 seconds.
I just want to...
Yeah, well, mom said you knew a lot about the Vietnam war, and that's what it's on and it's due tomorrow.
Expert on the Vietnam war.
2 seconds.
Ok?
Yeah.
Hey!
You missed the meeting.
Last night, you said you'd take me to the St.
Celia Tuesday night AA meeting?
Oh!
And I waited, and now it's too late.
Oh, shit!
I totally forgot.
Really?
I never would have guessed.
Oh, boy.
She's pissed, huh?
Yeah?
Well, we're all pissed, except for Wyatt, and that's only because he's a baby.
Although I'm sure his little sponge brain is already soaking up the disappointment, broken promises, and general A.D.D.
malaise that is Tommy Gavin.
What's that supposed to mean?
Dad.
Yeah.
Vietnam?
Two minutes, honey.
Okay?
What?
What is that...
what was that thing you said?
The malaise?
Oh, that's just a fancy-ass way of saying bullshit.
Ok, no.
The other thing.
A.D.D.
You, Tommy, have emotional A.D.D.
Ok, you keep promising the world to your children and to your wife, and then you spend half of your waking hours spoon-feeding your brain-damaged godson and giving emotional support to your ex-girlfriend.
I mean, you missed 3 dinners this week.
And right now, you were supposed to be at the St.
Celia CYC AA.
Ok, not to mention the FDNY thing, the P.A.L.
thing, and the PTA thing...
all of which you missed last week.
Tommy, you promised me that you would be focused here at home on us.
But no, you are so busy trying to save the goddamn world, rescuing people from fires, from cars, Sheila, Damian, every other goddamn soul on this planet, except your own goddamn family.
I mean, it's like you have OCD, except instead of germs, you're obsessed with saving strangers.
You know, when it comes to Sheila...
Have you thought about PTSD when it comes to her?
Honey, I told you, I got tested.
She got tested...
PTSD...
post-traumatic stress disorder, Tommy.
And thank you for that visual.
Ok.
I don't know.
Maybe I do have A.D.D.
and CBS and NHL, the LPA.
I don't know.
I'm just one guy, you know, with one family.
No.
With 2 families.
Ok.
2 families.
You know...
Ok, has Mickey resurfaced yet?
A couple of the guys saw him, but he's not helping out.
He's not involved.
He doesn't know...
Ok, so Damian and your girlfriend are now your responsibility.
Jesus Christ.
It's not my girlfriend.
This is not a girlfriend thing.
This is a family thing.
Listen, if I'd never slept with her and this had happened to Damian, wouldn't you expect me to be doing exactly what I'm doing just for Jimmy's sake?
Yes, yes.
Ok, see?
Yes, but you did sleep with her, and that is the difference.
Look, Katy has a dance recital tomorrow night, and Colleen has her 50th meeting in 50 days.
You need to be there for both.
Jesus Christ.
Dad.
Vietnam, right.
What have you got so far?
Ok, I have that once we got in, we couldn't get out.
And both sides dug their heels in and neither one would let up any ground.
And that's basically the main idea, right?
Don't I know it.
What?
We're talking American history here.
So you're gonna be with him at this pavilion hoosie-whatsie, right?
Yeah.
Then I shouldn't worry.
I mean, I would go.
It's just that I really want to catch this specialist, you know.
It's like he's only here one week out of every year.
Yeah.
Listen, it'll do him some good to be out of the house.
You know what I mean?
I guess.
Besides, you know what, you've gotta drive the van.
It's not that I don't trust the guys.
It's just that honestly, that van cost more than all of them put together.
Ok, I am the only person who will be driving the van.
I guarantee you that.
Ok?
So this specialist, he has got a clinic in Zurich.
And he is into this whole alternative form of therapy.
And it's wicked expensive, but he says that the proteins are great.
He just wants to add some injectable steroids and then a series of blood supplements.
And it's 25 grand a month.
But he has got a patient in Sweden who's getting the circulation feeling back in his legs.
Yeah, 'cause he's sitting on an empty wallet.
25 grand.
A lot of money.
I don't care what it costs.
No, I know.
I know.
I want Damian to walk again.
Right.
Right.
Hey, you're reading...
this, huh?
What?
Oh, yeah.
I have.
You know, I really love those self-help books.
I feel like no matter what they have to offer with, like, either, you know, weight or quit smoking or grief, they do have something to offer that's worth it.
And I think that's why they sell so well.
Yeah.
To chicks.
You've never read a self-help book?
I read "How to Throw a Football" by Johnny Unitas when I was, like, 12.
And then again when I was, like, 35 when Damian and I joined that flag football league.
Jimmy used to call it "fag football" league.
It was pretty faggy, which is why I threw, like, 48 touchdown passes when I was playing quarterback that year.
Listen, I really appreciate you've been doing for the both of us.
It's been...
Don't mention it.
You don't have to say anything about that.
Jimmy's definitely looking down and he sees what a good man and friend...
best friend...
You don't have to say it.
You are being, unlike Mickey.
Douchebag.
Mm-hmm.
What did he say, exactly?
He said some very hurtful things.
He couldn't handle it.
No.
You know what, just don't get me started, all right?
What I want to say is that I really...
Those things I said to you about hating you, I just was...
No, no, no, no, listen.
Forget about that.
I know.
You don't hate me.
You don't blame me.
I blame myself.
No, you shouldn't.
It was me.
I was the one that talked him into being a firefighter.
Did he want to do it, yeah.
But you know, I pushed him in that direction, you know, so...
Yes, but I should have done more of the, like, reverse psychology thing and kept telling him that I wanted him to be a firefighter.
The reverse psychology thing is ridiculous.
That was never gonna work, no.
It was...
You know, he wanted to go back on the rig, but I urged him.
I shouldn't have done it, you know.
Yeah, and you shouldn't have shown him his father's badge.
Are you talking about the badge that you gave me specifically to save and keep for him?
The one to keep the hell out of my house?
Yes.
The house you suffocated him in.
What is it, honey?
Are you OK?
What?
Give him a drink.
Here, here.
See if you can get it, Damian.
Come on.
Yeah, a little more.
Whoa!
Ha ha ha!
Wow!
Yeah!
Look at that.
Goddamn Mickey.
Rat bastard.
You want to blame somebody...
He's the guy to point the finger at!
Scumbag.
Hello.
I'm gonna start drinking again.
Coll, where are you?
Hey.
You didn't start drinking again, did you?
Not yet.
Good.
Thank God.
Look at this cart.
I mean, this would only work for our family if we were midgets.
Yeah, or normal.
What's the story?
I'm just picking out all my old favorites.
Oh, this is my favorite.
Oh, my gosh.
It goes down so clean and smooth.
But, I don't have to tell you that.
Hello, you.
Oh, you and I were best friends once.
Good-bye.
Don't kiss the bottle.
Goddamn, what's up?
Here's the deal.
You were supposed to be my sponsor, which was a stupid idea to begin with and even more idiotic now that I realize that in trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days, out of the 49 I've hit so far, you've only been with me for 10 of them.
No.
One-zero.
Ok, and every time I try to call you to talk about booze or an urge to drink or something about recovery that I desperately need to know, you not only don't pick up, you don't even call me back or text me.
Honey, I can't text.
My fingers are too big.
I tried typing in "what's going on," and it sends out a text saying "who's blowing Juan?"
I can't do it.
Here's the thing.
I don't even want to drink this stuff right now.
That's good, honey.
I just wanted to see how fast you'd get down here if I lit a fire under your ass.
You know I have a lot of stuff going on, OK?
I'm trying to juggle everything at work and at home.
Meaning Damian.
He's crippled.
So am I, by a disease I inherited from you!
Shh!
Keep it down.
My 50th meeting is tonight.
Ok?
And I'd really like my sponsor to be there.
On time!
Hey, sorry, man.
I got so much...
Been here about 20 minutes.
Hi, Chief.
Hi, Tom.
Can you guys give Tom and me a minute or two here, please?
Sure, yeah, no problem.
I brought these for you. "
Cam Neely's Greatest Hockey Hits"...
And "Friends of Eddie Coyle."
I should have gotten them back to you a long time ago, you know...
I know how crazy you are about your Robert Mitchum collection.
And?
That's it?
He's leaving?
Oh, I had a sawbuck on him kicking your ass.
Go back into the kitchen.
Hey!
You got something you want to say to me, tough guy?
Get in there!
You heard me!
Get the hell back in there!
All right.
We can stand here all morning knocking the snot out of each other, or you can shut your goddamn yap for 2 seconds and listen to what I gotta say.
Unless you're gonna say you're a gutless, spineless, no balls pussy, I don't want to hear it.
I'd rather just keep doing this.
At least I get some satisfaction out of it.
All right.
Is that what you want to hear?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm a no-good, gutless, spineless pussy, OK, who abandoned his girlfriend and a paralyzed kid because I'm just a self-centered goddamn asshole!
Does that about cover it?
Yeah.
Did you guys hear that?
Yep!
Actually, that last part was a little garbled.
The trouble is, fellas, we only bet the physical confrontation, so there's some money kind of hanging in the balance.
Come here.
I want you guys to hear this.
You want to know why I left Sheila?
It's not because I'm a coward or I'm a pussy or I suck like this guy's telling you.
It's because I couldn't take it anymore.
All right, she's wasting her whole life, all her energy, her time, her money, her hope on a string of quacks!
Endless.
Pills, protein powders, injections, aqua acupuncture.
What is that?
I don't know.
She's going for every bit of it hook, line, and sinker.
So I try to tell her.
You know, I was just trying to tell her the truth...
What this guy should be telling her and everybody else, which is Damian ain't ever walking again.
He is as is.
Done.
So she told me to take a hike.
I didn't come down here to tell you guys that it took a lot of balls to tell her that...
the truth.
But I'm here to say it took a little bit of balls.
And if any of yous had any, you'd tell her the same thing...
Soon.
Be safe.
Well, always good to see Mick.
It's a shitter.
What?
What are you talking about?
The Patrick James Mahoney memorial pavilion is a comfort station.
In other words...
A crapper?
Yeah.
How the hell did this happen?
Hey.
Didn't start yet, right?
Sorry.
Couldn't get the ramp back in the van.
The van cost an arm and a leg and it didn't have an automatic...
Ramp...
Um...
What's wrong?
Well, they decided to honor Patrick James Mahoney, our fallen brother...
A hero.
With a shit pavilion.
I don't know.
Looks pretty good to me.
Not in form, in function.
They got his name on a plaque.
Go ahead.
Go look behind that blue curtain.
It's a crapatorium, Tom.
A turd temple.
A boo-boo barn.
A fudge hole.
Yeah, you know, we need a guy in a suit right now.
Excuse me, sir?
Yeah, can I help you?
Yeah, we're FDNY.
Listen, we're just trying to figure out why the city decided to honor our brother with a restroom.
Yeah, the guy gets cancer working down at ground zero, and you guys think that this is a...
that this is...
fits?
That this is...
Appropriate?
No.
That ain't it, dude.
Are any of you members of the Mahoney family?
Not technically, no, but, Jesus...
Look, the family was given a list of possible naming options.
This is the one they chose.
They wanted a Central Park pavilion.
Well, were they made aware the pavilion in this case means outhouse?
Look, guys, your friend is being honored here today, whether you believe it or not.
Just go with the flow.
Hey, problem is, the flow is full of feces, pal.
You know, this is a slap in the goddamn face is what it is.
Pat Mahoney was no different than the men who died when those towers came down.
He's dead because he was working such long hours on that cancerous pile of shit.
So, what, you didn't have a urinal to offer the guy?
Something smaller, more insignificant?
You want to make a scene, tough guys?
How about I bring Mr.
Mahoney's mother over here so you can ruin this day for her?
Would that make you happy?
Thanks for nothing, pal.
We appreciate it.
Thanks, buddy.
Have a good day, asshole.
What a dick.
What's going on?
What's the ruckus?
Hey, where the hell you been?
I had a long walk from the car.
I had to take a leak.
Well, you didn't do it in there, did you?
What?
What?
No, I whipped my dick out in front of the crowd and did a little pissing dance.
What are you talking about?
Lou, you just took a leak in Pat's pavilion.
No, I took a leak at Pat's pavilion.
No, dude, in.
Pat Mahoney's pavilion is a public shitter.
You're kidding me.
Nah.
Jesus Christ.
I thought the pavilion was this whole kind of area out here, therefore, the shitter was pavilion-adjacent.
Oh, Christ.
I gotta talk to the family.
The family doesn't need to know.
No, I really gotta talk to them.
In other words...
You didn't...
don't tell me that you...
Oh, Jesus.
Lou dropped the deuce in Pat's memorial.
Come on, Lou!
Guys, I had a huge lunch, and it had to be tacos.
Ohh!
You know, I gotta get out of here.
Why?
Where you going?
I'm not gonna stand here and watch a good man be insulted this way.
Franc, I'm sorry, it was tacos.
It wasn't me.
And I'm not talking about you, Lou.
I just, I refuse to believe that a man gives his life doing his job, doing it well...
And this is the way he's remembered.
You know, it ain't right.
Pat deserves better, much better.
You know what, you're right.
He does.
How do you mean?
All right, I tell you what.
Here, take my keys.
You and Mikey go to my car.
In the back, in the trunk there's a toolbox.
Get it, bring it over here, pronto.
I like the sound of that.
Yeah, yeah, you know what?
It sounds great.
Pulling it off is not gonna be so easy.
Yeah.
Where are you?
The meeting's in 15 minutes.
I'm at an FDNY thing in the middle of Central Park.
You know what, just forget it.
Are you home?
No, I'm at the church.
And mom is home waiting for you to pick her up at the house for Katy's dancing.
Which is when?
You've got to be at the school in an hour and a half.
Well, you know what, maybe I'll swing by the meeting on way over to the...
You know what?
Don't sweat it.
I've already found another sponsor.
Who?
Me, asshole!
You might have baptized her back into sobriety, but I'll be in charge of her confirmation.
Now get your no-good ass home and take my other favorite niece to her dance bullshit!
Now!
Hey, I gotta take off.
Here's the keys to the van.
I need you to watch it and Damian, OK?
I'm gonna get your keys from the morons, and I'm gonna borrow your car, all right?
All right, all right.
And after we're done here, I'll bring him home.
No, no.
I gotta take him home.
Ok, so, I'll call and check in with you later to find out where you are, come pick him up.
What am I supposed to do with him?
I don't know.
Take him dancing.
And so, it's with great pride and with the great appreciation of the city of New York for his many years of service that we dedicate the Patrick James Mahoney pavilion.
Ah...
Hmm.
Ahem.
Yes.
Now, this...
this is a goddamn pavilion.
Yeah?
You gonna take a shit here, too?
Yeah, this looks good, Lou.
But you know it ain't gonna last.
They're gonna take this down, bro.
I'd like to see 'em try.
I used my homemade ninja glue to put this thing up.
They want to take it down, they're gonna have to knock the whole goddamn wall down.
Yeah, well, apparently you never heard that old saying "you can't beat City Hall."
What's the point of doing this if nobody knows it's here?
Hey, we know it's here.
And Pat knows, wherever he is.
It's good enough for me.
Guys!
I think security's coming!
All right, gentlemen, let's celebrate.
Yeah.
Where's my son?
What?
I come home and my son is nowhere to be found.
How long was the thing in the park?
Just got out.
Just got out.
So then, you're on your way home?
Yeah, yeah, but there's a shitload of traffic so it's gonna take a while.
Ok, well, listen...
There's this, like, seminar thing where this expert is gonna talk about paralysis and regenerative movement, and I really, really want to go.
You go.
You need to go to that.
Thank you.
Ooh!
Let me say hi to Damian.
Well, the thing is, I'm driving, so it's not...
it's against the law now to talk on a cell phone while you're driving.
I shouldn't be talking to you right now.
Yeah, I would like him to hear my voice.
Alright, here we go, here he is.
Hey, sweetie!
Did you have fun with the guys in the park?
Did you miss your old ma?
Happy now?
I think he answered me.
Did you hear that?
He's never done that before.
That must be the protein.
I think that the protein's working.
Do you think it's protein?
Nah.
I wouldn't put too much on the protein.
Look, there's a cop up ahead.
I gotta go.
Ok?
Goddamn it.
Hey, shithead, where the hell are you?
Hey.
Well, Damian didn't want to go dancing, so we took him to the bar.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ!
Hey, just relax, will you?
We're not feeding him drinks.
We're feeding him beer nuts, and we're feeding him pretzels, but no drinks.
Don't put anything in his mouth!
Goddamn it!
All right, all right, hold on a second.
He's trying to...
He wants to tell you something.
Spit it out, Damian.
Uh, yeah, he says you're an asshole.
Yeah, you're a regular riot.
I'm gonna be there in 10 minutes, asshole.
You're looking good, buddy.
Ah, Dame.
What do you think he's thinking, Matt?
I don't know.
Nothing?
Or maybe he's having a great time.
How would you know?
Yeah, I don't know.
I just thought maybe one brain-damaged individual might give us some insight into the thoughts of another.
Ha ha ha!
Another what?
Check, please!
Guys, I'm sorry.
Like, I don't mean to sound mean or insensitive or anything, but I think it's really weird that we have him hanging around like this.
Look at him.
he's fine.
He likes it.
Is he OK?
Well, actually, he's paralyzed, and he's got a little bit of brain damage, too.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
Was he in a car accident or something?
No.
He was a firefighter.
We're all firefighters.
He was on our crew.
It happened on a call, a big fire.
Do you guys still hang out with him?
Yeah.
Oh, that's sweet.
Yeah, well, you know, hey, once a brother, always a brother, right?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.
I'm Franco, by the way.
This is Sean.
Hi.
Hi.
Black Shawn here.
And this right here is Damey-Dame.
Damian, actually.
And this one...
whatever.
Mike.
So you guys take care of him and everything?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I feed him.
Oh, that's so great.
I'm gonna go outside and wait for Tom...
And maybe puke.
I have to stay and see how low the crowded elevator's gonna go.
And you know, I dress him.
And I wash him, and I bathe him, as it were.
- Seriously?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I mean, most of him.
I do his torso, arms, legs, face.
Try to avoid the groin.
That's a little gay.
We'll leave that to Mike.
Ha ha!
- He's kidding.
So, you don't help take care of him?
Yeah, yeah, sure, I do.
What do you do?
Uh, I change his diaper, actually.
Eww!
Eww!
Yeah, so, ladies, you think we might be able to interest you in a couple of drinks over by the bar?
Yeah, yeah, I think we'd like that.
All right, I know we would.
It's just so nice to meet men that are so...caring.
Thanks for that, Shawn.
Thank you, buddy.
Thanks.
Whoa.
Got it.
Yeah, nice work.
Thank you.
So why don't you guys just go grab a couple of stools over there.
We'll be right over.
All right.
- Nice to meet you guys.
See you in a second.
Right.
Fantastic.
Oh, my God.
How easy was that?
What the hell was happening?
I don't understand.
Jesus, we just made 3 chicks in under 45 seconds.
That's gotta be some kind of land pussy speed record or something, even for me.
You know what it is?
It's not us.
It's him.
You know what, you're right, bro.
I mean, he is, without a doubt the ultimate wingman.
You know, he attracts chicks.
He doesn't mess with your game.
He won't dominate the conversation, that's for sure, and he can't cock-block you.
It's unbelievable.
He's like a paralyzed pussy magnet.
You know what, I'm taking him with me on Saturday.
Ok, all right, well, I want him on Friday, and I want Saturday next weekend.
No, no, we'll switch off every other weekend, back and forth.
You know what, that's perfect, bro.
Yeah.
Guys, when do I get him?
Why don't you go wash your hands, diaper boy?
That's bullshit.
If you guys are gonna...
That's enough!
I cannot believe you!
I'm just sitting over there listening to you balloonheads actually using our paralyzed probie for you guys picking up pussy.
You know, you're right.
Sorry, chief.
Yeah, sorry.
Terrible, man.
Shameless action.
Ahh...But look at that pussy.
I know.
We don't want it getting cold.
Let's go.
Let's hurry.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Who are these guys?
I know.
You gotta start hanging out with a better class of people, Hey, what happened to your friend?
He's a firefighter.
Are you a firefighter?
Nah...
Nah.
I'm the chief.
What's your name?
Abby.
Abby?
Yeah.
That's lovely.
Thanks.
Shameful.
Oh, God, come on!
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Yeah.
You missed it.
I already talked to Colleen, all right?
You missed Colleen's meeting, too?
I didn't know that.
I was talking about Katy's dance recital.
Honey, something came up, OK?
Yeah, something involving Damian.
Pat Mahoney's pavilion dedication.
You know, things are running behind.
You know, what do you want me to do?
Ok, look, Tommy, I don't want to sound cold here, but Pat Mahoney is dead and gone.
Ok, and for all intents and purposes, so is Damian.
But your daughter, on the other hand, she is here, and she still needs her father.
And more amazingly, she still wants her father.
How long do you think that's gonna last if you keep neglecting her?
How did she do?
She was...
Words don't do it justice.
You had to be there.
Yeah.
Anything else you want to tell me?
What, about tonight?
In general.
Anything, uh...On your mind?
Yeah.
If you want to rescue the world, start with your children.
Ahh!
I'm gonna start upstairs.
You stay in here and finish the Pat Mahoney pavilion.
The what?
Who the hell is Pat Mahoney?
Some important dead mick.
I gotta know everything?
Is this new?
I been working for City Hall for 6 years, I never seen it before.
Man, that's your problem, man.
You're not very observant.
How else you gonna have success in life?
Maybe that's why he has a pavilion and you don't.
Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a pavilion.
I gotta clean the goddamn thing.
Oh...
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com You did this to me, Tommy.