Programma Televisivo: Pepper Dennis - 1x3
Did you pack the lens cleaner?
Battery?
Backup battery?
Yes, Pepper.
Good.
Let me see.
Will you try and relax?
It's the Pope, Chick.
Benedict the Sixteenth.
The Vicar of Christ.
The Holy Father.
I've been prepping for this visit for three months.
Garfield, I want the mass, the motorcade, the everything.
Our van needs to be on his holy behind every blessed step of the way.
That Pope-mobile is a sweet ride.
I can get you inside it.
Not even bullets can get inside the Pope-mobile, Babcock.
But, thanks to my volunteering with the Sisters of the Immaculate Conception, I've got a prime spot to film a drive-by.
Actually, Dennis, my Great-Uncle Rutger is a Cardinal in Germany.
An old friend of Pope Joe's from back in the day.
You know the Pope, Babcock?
I don't want to brag.
You wanna cover his visit?
I'd love to, but isn't that Pepper's...
Story?
Yes, it is.
Jack, the Pontiff is my beat.
I've done the lead-up, the extensive background research.
I've even learned several key phrases in Latin.
Great.
Give your notes to Babcock.
But...
I want Chicago to get to know our new anchor.
It speaks volumes about Babcock's character if we show him schmoozing with His Eminence.
Tough break, Dennis.
You'll get an assignment just as good.
From what I understand, Meaghan, this particular pot of winning chili is of the traditional red variety.
That is correct.
And where do you fall on the bean debate?
Oh, my goodness, no beans.
They ruin flavor and texture.
You heard it here first, Chicago.
Bean-free is the way to go.
This is Pepper Dennis, live from Saint Bridget's...
I'll tell you my secret ingredient.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's the secret to blue-ribbon chili, Meaghan?
Freshly-squeezed lime juice.
I learned that from my sister, Betty.
She's the real expert.
She's been perfecting her recipe just forever.
Then why didn't she win?
I know know.
Church politics, I guess.
My picture looks better in the bulletin.
That isn't fair.
How long you been cooking the chili, Betty?
I guess it's been about 20 years.
How does it make you feel, having someone else swoop in and steal all the glory using your recipe for success?
I'm sure Meaghan adds some other ingredients.
Indeed she does.
A big dollop of shamelessness and a pinch of lies.
Excuse me?
Yeah.
That's not what I said.
There's a word for what happened to you, Betty.
You've been "Babcocked."
Oh, this is...
this is nuts.
I won, and everybody just needs to accept that.
Did you even try my chili today, Meaghan?
Why would I?
Well, like you said, I'm the expert.
Well, according to this, I'm the expert.
Make no mistake, Betty.
She threw that gauntlet right down into your crock pot.
From the St.
Bridget's Chili Cook-off here in Schaumburg, where the competition has gotten more than heated...
I'm Pepper Dennis.
This tape is misleading, Jack.
I was after a bigger story than a chili cook-off.
I was out to right a wrong.
Dennis, you incited a riot in a church basement. "
Riot"?
Pretty strong words for a food fight, Jack.
Besides, I wasn't even supposed to be there.
Babcock took my story.
Last time I checked, Missy, I'm the one who hands out assignments.
If you've got a problem with the way I'm doing my job...
No, sir.
Now what's really going on, Dennis?
Hmm?
What do you mean?
Don't know.
Lately, something's off with you.
Is it personal?
Maybe a guy?
No!
No!
No, no, no.
There's no guy.
Seriously, I'm fine.
The suits upstairs don't think so.
Little stunt you pulled today makes you a liability.
They want to make sure an incident like this doesn't happen again.
Who's Dr.
Crimmons?
Corporate shrink.
We have a corporate shrink?
Don't get me started.
The money we pay this guy, I could have three more news vans.
I don't need therapy.
You don't have a choice!
I'm afraid you're going to have to play the game, Dennis.
Little advice?
Try your best not to sound like a loon.
Can you believe it, Kimmy, me in therapy?
Like I'm some housewife with intimacy issues.
Well...
you do kiss Walter Cronkite's picture every morning.
Which you know because all the self-analysis I need happens right here, in this chair, with you.
I treasure our sessions, I do.
I just think that someone with better credentials than a cosmetology certificate could help you over some of your hurdles.
What hurdles?
Oh, let me see, where should I start?
Your compulsive drive.
Your need for control.
Charlie.
My one-time tryst with the evening anchor is top secret.
No one at work can ever know about it, especially a corporate therapist.
It has nothing to do with my professional life or job performance.
Are you sure about that?
Charlie Babcock and I met.
We had toe-curling sex, and now I'm over it.
Moving on. "
Toe-curling."
Hmm.
I like that.
It means... "
commonplace," Babcock.
As in, "I'm so bored, I'm curling my toes to pass the time."
Right.
So, Kimmy knows?
I'm Makeup.
I know everything.
What do you want?
Did the shipment arrive?
What is that?
My secret weapon.
Viewers trust a healthy smile.
You ordered a case?
Uh, yeah, the pearly whites needed a boost.
Now, skedaddle.
The Pope anointed me with holy oil.
I need Kimmy to matte down the T-zone.
You got an audience with the Pope?
It was pretty awesome.
You should've been there, Dennis.
That's better.
Chair's all yours, Babcock.
I'm late for a meeting.
Hi.
I was wondering if I could see you before therapy.
Shh!
You know about that?
I do take Mr.
Bell's messages.
Ooh.
Promise you'll talk about the time Mom left you at the lake.
That could bring about a lot of family healing.
I'm not telling him anything.
This is just to appease Corporate, so keep it to yourself.
Okay.
Come on.
I have a surprise.
Tah-dah.
Who are they?
Stories.
Ever since I've been working here, all of these people have called in with fascinating personal stories.
At which point you, at the reception desk, should put them through to the assignment desk.
I do.
And for some reason, they keep getting ignored.
I don't know who's in charge over there, but I'd be concerned.
Anyway, I started keeping a log so wanted to give you first dibs.
Sebastian's defective water bed broke.
He was evicted, now he's living on the streets.
Who else?
Did you tell her about me?
Oh.
And this is Todd.
He's a freshman at Deering University.
Not a story.
How's this?
The fraternity that he was pledging wouldn't let him in, even after he did everything they asked.
That's a story.
No, that's disappointing.
You see, Todd, to be fit for broadcast, a story must have three parts: interesting premise, dramatic climax, satisfying denouement.
I-I don't understand.
Like this.
A reporter goes loca.
Snaps.
Spends the rest of her life in the booby hatch.
That's a story.
Right, Dennis?
What about Gamma Psi Beta smaking me swallow a live goldfish when I'm a vegan?
If your angle is hazing, I'm going to need more than that.
Nice meeting you, though.
How about forcing me and the other pledges to tie a log to our privates and hold it for six hours straight without dropping it?
A log?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, the-the oak is supposed to be a symbol for Gamma Psi Beta.
You know, it's supposed to pledge your allegiance for the brotherhood, but really, it's just...
torture.
Listen, I'm late for an appointment.
Can you wait around?
Yay.
Okay, oh, before you go, you have to meet Brenda.
She carved the entire Chicago skyline out of soap.
Uh.
Okay, later, then.
Ah, hello, Pepper.
How are you, huh?
Um, I'm Dr.
Crimmons, and, uh...
Would you like to do this in your office?
That might be a little more private.
I'm in a cubicle.
Mm.
Does that, uh, bother you, being in a cubicle?
I consider the world my office, Doc.
Doesn't get much bigger than that.
Mm.
Okay.
All right, so, Pepper, how are you doing?
Great.
Good.
Um...
would you like to talk about the incident at St.
Bridget's this morning?
No, thank you.
Okay.
Then we'll talk about something else, huh?
No topic is off-limits.
We could talk about the weather, or, uh, the Cubs.
No?
Um...
how about your family?
Sure.
You go first.
Uh, okay.
Um, well, uh, your sister, she seems nice.
Cares a lot about you.
Even mentioned something about a lake.
Right.
Later, I may drown her in one.
I'm sensing a little anger there.
Swing and a miss, Doc.
It's called humor.
Well, actually, it's called sarcasm.
And it's anger's handmaiden.
With whom are you angry?
I'm not angry.
I think you are.
Oh, but I'm not.
Pepper, I saw the tape of the chili brawl.
You are full of rage.
Why?
Look, I understand that we both have to be here, but I'm just dandy.
Uh, okay.
Then prove it.
Let' use this therapeutic Zen garden.
Now, these stones...
represent barriers in your life, huh?
Mountains in your path, if you will.
What's that?
Oh, sounds like somebody's having a party.
Fine, Doc, you want me to go digging in the dirt, I'm game.
We can do it as long as we want.
But you're not gonna uncover anything compelling.
'Cause the only thing you're going to find in that cat box is cat sh...
Ooh!
I'm so sorry.
I think I know what's wrong.
Well, this is excellent.
Has the stinging stopped?
No, no, actually, I was talking about your outburst.
Now, let's replay what happened.
The past is the past.
Why reminisce?
Well, because it's therapy-- corporate-ordered, mandatory therapy.
Fine.
We were talking.
Babcock started his Pope show-and-tell.
You said I was angry.
I told you I wasn't.
The Babcock fan club started...
All right, all right, all right.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Say his name again.
Who?
Babcock?!
Oh, yep.
There it is.
I've found your trigger-- Charlie Babcock.
There's something going on between you two.
No, there's not.
You can deny it if you like, but he brings about a reaction in you.
Your voice goes up a quarter-octave when you say his name.
Yes, Miss Dennis, it is Charlie Babcock.
He's the one you're angry with.
You know what?
Yes, I am angry with Babcock.
Excellent.
What happened?
He's obnoxious, and he took my job.
What job?
The anchor position.
Oh, oh, oh...
your anchor position?
Well, they hadn't exactly stenciled my name on the parking spot or anything.
Oh, well, then technically, you had no right to even think that that job was yours.
He's still obnoxious!
You should have seen the smirk on his face this morning when he pilfered the Pope from me!
I see.
And then you decided to unleash that resentment on the good people of St.
Bridget's.
Those two sisters have been waiting to duke it out for decades.
I'm not worried about them.
I am worried about you and your career.
Because if you lose it in the field one more time, you're as good as gone.
What do you mean?
If you ever want to reach your goal of being an anchor, you cannot be so excitable.
Take Dan Rather.
He got all jumpy over Dubya's National Guard documents, and look what happened.
Oh, God.
Do you want to gain back the emotional control that you lack?
Yes.
Then you must resolve your issues with Charlie...
Babcock.
Blanca?
Kimmy, tell her this is a closed-door session.
Blanca, this will only take a minute.
I have been meaning to tell you, you report last week on temperature extremes and drought was excellent.
I know.
And when that farmer cried about losing his crops, I was moved.
Yes, I do make weather personal.
Exactly.
And that's why I've been thinking, wouldn't it be great if Blanca Martinez had a touching and personal story to tie into the weather every night?
Kimmy, tissue.
Sebastian, this is Blanca.
Sebastian was evicted.
He's living on the streets.
You want me to do my weather report with a homeless man?
Who cares more about the weather than the homeless?
Look at them, Jack.
They are a workplace hazard.
I might file a grievance.
Excuse me, but they have names, like Todd.
Hi, uh, where's Pepper Dennis?
I'm sure it won't be much longer.
What the hell happened there?
Don't you think that all of Chicago wants the answer to that question?
No!
Mr.
Bell, please.
I promised these people that we'd cover their stories.
Promises are like babies, Little Dennis-- easy to make, hard to deliver.
Now, get these lemons out of my lobby.
Okay, so how is this supposed to work?
In order to release your anger, you are going to invite Charlie Babcock to have what we call fierce conversation.
I like the sound of that.
I attack, I unleash, I retreat.
Is it too early to request a round two?
No, "fierce" refers to your level of honesty, which will be 100 percent.
Now, once you admit to Charlie that you're angry with him, it will free you up to take your next healing step-- telling him you're sorry and accepting him as part of the WEiE family.
This isn't fair!
Everything was just fine before Babcock came to town.
I'm the victim here.
Yes, you are.
Victim of yourself.
But five small words can change that. "
Welcome to WEiE, Charlie Babcock."
I don't like you.
Coming through.
See, you guys can put that bad boy down right here for now.
What's going on?
Ah, just cruising through my interior decorating allowance.
What do you think?
Uh, Mr.
Babcock, hi, I'm Dr.
Crimmons, Pepper's corporate therapist.
Right.
How are your eyes?
Oh, fine.
Thank you.
Pepper and I stopped by because she would like to have a conversation with you.
With me?
And you?
Why's that?
Oh, no, I can assure you that this isn't an ambush.
My role is to be one of mediator.
Although, I much prefer the term intercourse guide.
We don't need a guide for that, right, Dennis?
Uh, anyway, shall we, um...
Uh, yes.
I tell you what.
If I could just ask you to leave for just a second.
Thank you.
Terrific.
And take these two gentlemen with you.
Yes, thank you very much.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
I think it would be best if we all focused on the task at hand.
Hmm?
All right, Pepper, you begin.
But if you veer off message, I'll raise this flag.
Okay?
Understand?
Go ahead.
Apparently...
Wait. "
Apparently" is a blame-shifting word.
Oh...
yeah.
See, that is very astute.
You've been in therapy before.
I'm no stranger to the couch.
And let me just say that I admire Dennis for taking these steps to improve herself.
Oh, please.
Hostile tone, Pepper.
Tone says more than words.
What words?
You haven't let me speak.
Defensiveness.
Pepper, please.
This is for your benefit, all right?
And, Charlie, this is very difficult for Pepper, so why don't you try to be a little more supportive.
Hmm?
Of course.
Have you tried journaling?
Babcock, just listen.
Notice how she only calls me Babcock.
It creates distance.
This is pointless.
Destructive dialogue.
It's okay.
I can ignore her.
Ignore me?
Can you ignore this?
Not really.
'Cause that's saucy.
Okay, this is not healing behavior.
Charlie.
Charlie, let's just...
Hello, Mr.
Bell.
Um...
we're making fantastic progress.
Looks more like a lead-up to a three-way.
Why is Babcock a part of this?
Uh, well, journeys to the soul often require the picking up and dropping off of passengers.
I can't believe insurance pays for this crap.
What's up, Jack?
Assignment desk picked up a call from Deering University.
Some kid named Todd Haskell is holding hostages at a frat house.
Pulled his picture off the Internet.
That's the kid from reception.
He was talking to Kathy.
Well, now he needs to be talking to you.
Get down there!
Young man in distress.
Might I be of some assistance?
I think you've been enough help for today.
Foosball?
One game.
What are you doing?
Pepper's been having a rough time lately, and I'm hoping this will lift her spirits.
Chick, do you want to jump her bones, or do you want to be her bestest friend ever?
It's nice.
It conveys a message.
Yeah.
I'm gay.
Dude, she is a woman.
You don't have a shot unless you start being a man.
You have to reach for it, son.
You watch.
I bet she likes it.
Guys, we got to move.
Some frat boy over at Deering's losing it.
We got to make sure we get over there as soon as we...
Babcock!
This is a blatant taunt.
It's gonna take more than some mumbo-jumbo feel-good poster to get to me.
I heard that.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Pardon me.
Hello.
Hi!
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed meeting everybody today.
But unfortunately, WEiE is unable to use your stories at this time.
So, women and children into the elevator first?
Okay.
Well...
bye-bye.
You know what?
Take a few minutes if you need to.
It's been a long day.
Say, why don't I order some sandwiches?
Do you need validation?
Don't we all?
I'm sorry.
That's just a little therapist joke.
That's Twinkle.
His owner Marybeth is blind.
She's also allergic to dogs, hence the, um, seeing-eye cat.
Oh.
Well, that is amazing.
Yeah, I agree.
Only, it hasn't worked out so well.
As we all know, cats aren't codependent.
Marybeth called the station to see if there was anything that we could do.
I said that we'd try, but then my boss ordered me to kick her out.
He wants me to kick all of them out.
And yet, they're still here.
Yeah, I'm trying, you know, but it's hard.
I know what it's like to be alone.
Just want someone to listen to you when you're sitting across from him at the breakfast table, hoping he'll look up from the paper and thank you for the homemade granola parfait.
Anyway...
...they need help, you know.
Yeah.
They're not the only ones.
Listen, I know this kid.
You have to let me in.
It's not gonna happen.
But you said he wanted to speak to media.
That's me, I'm media.
Okay, bub.
Where are the real police?
Ooh, is that a slam?
Am I supposed to feel stupid?
'Cause I'm getting paid 16 bucks an hour to pretty much do nothing, so who's stupid now?
Are you done?
They're on their way.
All right, the fuzz is due any second.
Any other stations roll in?
No.
Good.
We got to step this up if we want this exclusive.
Who would know how to get into that house undetected?
Hi.
What's the sluttiest sorority on campus?
Rho Eta Pi.
Hi.
Oh my God!
Amber, your pledge mom is here!
You were so much fun!
Actually, I'm Pepper Dennis, WEiE News.
There's a situation over at Gamma Psi Beta.
Like a beer bust?
More like an hysterical freshman.
Not interested.
Are you sure?
'Cause if I don't find a way to sneak into that frat house, something very bad could happen.
They'll cancel Greek Week.
Amber's mommy will never come home again.
If you want to get into Gamma Psi Beta, use the love ladder.
I'll understand if you don't want to do this.
We don't know what's up there.
Might get a little dicey.
Pepper, I'm your shooter; I'm not afraid.
And even if I were, I wouldn't let you go alone, because I'm here for you whenever you need me.
Thanks, Chick.
Let's do this.
Hang in there.
What are they doing?
Exactly what they did to me.
Todd.
Remember me?
Yeah.
Pepper Dennis, hey.
Get inside.
So am I a story now?
Don't be silly, Jack.
Everything is fine.
It's not fine-- you're a hostage!
Hear me out.
I know this kid.
He's not deranged.
He's a sensitive soul who's hurting.
It's reckless reporting-- I don't like it.
A million things could go wrong.
It's your call, and I respect that.
But before we toss it on the discard pile, let me show you how I'd frame it.
Look at this, Jack.
Damn you, Dennis.
Hair-raising, isn't it?
This angry, rejected pledge has taken the senior brothers by the genitals just to prove a point.
What point?
Does it even matter, Jack?
I'm oddly curious.
He was rebuffed by them, and now he wants the entire city of Chicago to watch as they suffer the same humiliation he had to suffer.
We've got hazing, we've got hostages, we've got naked frat boys.
Isn't this a story begging to be told?
Start setting up your shots.
We'll go live.
It's a go.
Did you hear that, guys?
You're going to be famous!
All right...
you know what, bro?
We've been using the same log for years, and we all know the strings are long enough.
Oh, yeah?
Well, that was before I shortened them.
Okay, that's not funny, dude.
Well, you seemed to think it was funny when you made me drink ten beers and then pogo-stick to Blockbuster.
Hmm?
How about the time you made me put on the French maid outfit and clean up this entire pigsty by myself?
You think you can just treat someone like that and then throw them away?!
Well, you can't, okay?
You humiliated me, and now, it's your turn.
By the way, you're not interviewing me.
What?!
No.
You blew me off; you're just like them.
Todd, as someone who declined to rush at Northwestern, I can assure you that I am decidedly anti-Greek.
Feta, Yanni?
Save it, okay?
Get me somebody else.
Okay, remember, saying no to them is saying yes to you.
Got it.
No to them, yes to me.
No to them, yes to me.
Hi, Mrs.
Gretz.
It seems that Ginger's tap routine isn't quite right for the entertainment report.
But maybe if we did up her hair a little, we could convince those uppity entertainment people to reconsider.
They're still here?
What are you doing?
Just making sure Ginger's extra-pretty for her TV appearance.
Are you the mother?
Pretty's not in the cards.
As for the rest of you, you will not be on television, unless it's Cops or perhaps maybe a telethon.
Got it?
Vamanos!
Let's go.
Eh...
You failed your first exercise.
I can't help it.
This is who I am.
Yes, and one day, those desperate attempts to please others will destroy you.
People are bottomless pits of need.
Eventually, your efforts won't be enough, and they'll punish you for it.
Friends will betray you, men will leave, and then who will take care of Kathy Dinkle-Williams?
Just Dinkle.
I'm getting a divorce.
Then you know what I mean.
Kathy, if you don't change, people will always see you as one thing and one thing only.
A doormat.
Jack, we got ourselves a situation.
This kid doesn't want me to interview him.
Why?
I don't know-- all of a sudden he's all mad and judgy.
I'll do it.
Just so happens, I'm Gamma Psi Beta.
I could break the ice with our toast song.
Works for me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm handling this, Jack.
Hey, Dennis, we're going with Babcock.
You heard the man, he's a brother.
Now get that kid briefed.
Jack, could I please speak to Babcock for a second?
What do you think we're doing here?
On a secure channel.
Why?
Just some delicate background stuff, that's all.
All right, make it quick.
You're secure with Dennis.
Babcock?
Nice work, Dennis, incredible get.
Babcock!
And you're gonna love the toast song.
Seriously, there won't be a dry eye in the house.
Babcock, just stop and let me talk!
Okay.
When I get back to the station, we are having it out, just you and me and a real fierce conversation!
30 seconds!
No waving flags, no corporate therapists.
They've offered you Charlie Babcock.
Oh, he's cool, hey, hey!
Charlie Babcock, guys.
Huh?!
That's pretty cool, right?
No!
No, he's not cool!
He's a pompous, gassy frat boy just like these guys.
I'm the one who manipulated the sorority dingbats, climbed through a window, and stared down the barrel of a gun!
Lady, would you please calm down?
I've got ten seconds left to vent!
This is my story, just like the Pope was my story.
I can't believe it.
Babcocked twice in one day!
Pepper!
Good afternoon, Chicago.
This is Charlie Babcock with WEiE breaking news.
There's terror on Deering University's fraternity row.
The strings are long enough.
You are so dead!
WEiE's Pepper Dennis is live on the scene.
Pepper?
Get the cops in that house, now!
Babcock, you're live.
Pepper?
Babcock, it's dead air.
Talk.
There were shots fired.
We seem to have, uh, lost...
Sign off, Babcock.
Sign off, Babcock, or you're a dead man.
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the technical difficulties we are experiencing.
Jack, Jack, can you hear me?
Pepper, are you okay?
Is everything all right?
Yeah.
Hang on a second.
Everybody calm down right now!
Chick.
Camera.
All right, throw it back to me, Jack, I have picture.
I've just been informed that we've regained contact at the Gamma Psi Beta house.
Pepper, what's happening?
Sorry if we gave the folks at home a scare.
Our feed was knocked out, but nobody is hurt.
The hostage taker has been subdued, and the police are on their way.
For more developments, keep watching WEiE News.
Back to you, Charlie.
That was our very own Pepper Dennis, reporting live from what could have been a tragic scene at Deering University.
Great work, Pepper.
Get back safely.
For WEiE News, I'm Charlie Babcock.
And we're out.
Okay, guys, come on, let's go.
Are you hurt?
I'm in a lot of trouble, huh?
This isn't me.
I couldn't hurt a fly, I swear.
I know.
God!
Why did I do this?
They tormented and rejected you, Todd.
No one can blame you for hating them.
But that's just it, I don't.
I love those guys.
I wanted to be a brother more than...
anything.
And you know, when you want something so bad, and you realize it's just never gonna happen...
It's easier to make them the enemy.
You understand that?
Yeah.
I think I've been doing the same thing.
Okay, nice and easy, kid.
All right, buddy, you're coming with us.
Where'd Garfield go?
The Rho Eta Pi has dragged him off to a party.
He'll probably be pinned by sundown.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Pepper, I stare at you all day for a living, and right now your lower lip is jutting out just a tiny bit, making that perfectly round...
Anyway, you're upset.
I came this close to turning seven beer-guzzling jocks into choir boys, Chick.
The therapist is right.
My unresolved anger is messing up my game.
So why don't you take another kickboxing class?
That ought to nip it in the bud.
That's what I thought until a spurned, hostage-taking frat boy helped me see my situation more clearly.
Todd didn't hate those guys.
He loved them.
But his feelings had nowhere to go.
That kind of thing can make you want to lash out, take hostages.
Throw chili.
I'm not really following.
Well, I guess I know what it's like to have feelings for somebody that can't be returned.
Who?
Babcock.
Something kind of got started with him, but due to bad timing and circumstances, it stopped, and I thought I was over him, but I'm not.
It turned me into a ticking time bomb.
Sorry if you took any shrapnel, hmm?
You should talk to him.
Believe me.
Carrying all that around and not telling the person-- it's brutal.
I don't know.
It would be messy and mortifying and gut-wrenchingly painful.
Not when he tells you he cares about you, too.
Oh, Chick.
What would I do without you?
Well, lucky for you, you'll never have to find out.
Hey.
Don't "hey" me, buddy.
You know, you are really lucky.
I could have...
feathered your bangs.
Sorry.
Just needed a calm place.
Hi.
Don't you have a Jacuzzi in your office?
It's more of a deluxe footbath with pedicure center, actually.
Evening Primrose oil.
It's good for PMS and all-around crap days.
I don't do aroma therapy.
But, uh, there's a first time for everything.
Oh, it's nice.
Thanks.
Tough day at the office?
Hmm.
You saw it.
Kinda.
What happened?
It was a run-of-the-mill hostage situation.
And then the gun went off, and the feed went out...
And you thought she was dead?
Yeah, I kind of freaked out, too.
All I kept thinking was, that's it.
That's how it's going to end.
No more jokes, no more banter.
We have damn good banter.
When she's not screaming at me.
Yeah, you do.
Damn it.
Ten seconds of me...
fumfering, and then dead air.
Well, see, I've covered much hairier situations and never done that before.
She's under your skin, Charlie.
You see, that...
that's not my style.
Hmm.
Well, like you said, there's always a first time for everything.
Babcock, I was looking for you.
Right.
Do you want to grab a drink, Dennis?
We need to talk.
Sure.
Dennis!
Babcock!
Both of you in my office, now.
Stupid, impetuous, irresponsible, ratings-bating.
Am I leaving anything out?
I'm talking about all of us here, so feel free to jump in.
Actually...
Dennis, you're my number one reporter, but you're no good to me pushing up daisies.
Next time there is a police line, stay behind it!
Yes, sir.
And you-- the only thing worse than a dead reporter is dead air.
I hate dead air.
I don't pay anchors for dead air.
Jack...
What is going on with you two?
What do you mean?
Don't give me that line of bull.
I am talking about the little things I've noticed of late, like Babcock in your therapy session.
Or conversations on secure lines.
Or the way you look at each other.
I'm not that old.
I know the look.
So I'm gonna ask flat-out if there is anything that's going on that isn't 100% professional.
And before you respond, you should know that the correct answer is no.
This is journalism, not Brad and Angelina.
There's nothing going on.
Right, Dennis?
Right, Babcock.
Good.
If it is, the doors of this station will hit you in the ass before the pink slips hit your desk.
Now, get out of here.
Uh, I think maybe I'll hang out here for a little while.
Maybe go over some tapes.
Yeah.
I have tons to do, too.
Bye, Dennis.
See you around.
Wait, there's one more thing.
Welcome to WEiE, Charlie Babcock.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing?
Just putting some zest on your doormat.
I mean, there's no reason that it can't look pretty.
Even though everyone wipes their muddy feet on it and walks away.
No one ever thinks about the doormat, do they?
The sad, lonely, miserable doormat.
What's going on, Kathy?
Dr.
Crimmons diagnosed me today.
I'm too nice.
I'm a people-pleaser.
I'm this.
Apparently, it's my curse.
Are you okay?
No, I don't think I am.
Let me make some tea.
Chamomile always makes me feel better.
There are lemon bars in the freezer.
How does that sound?
Really good.
Why don't you go put your pj's on?
I got this one covered.
Kathy?
Yeah?
Crimmons sucks.
Transcript: Raceman - Synchro: Amariss www.forom.com -
Battery?
Backup battery?
Yes, Pepper.
Good.
Let me see.
Will you try and relax?
It's the Pope, Chick.
Benedict the Sixteenth.
The Vicar of Christ.
The Holy Father.
I've been prepping for this visit for three months.
Garfield, I want the mass, the motorcade, the everything.
Our van needs to be on his holy behind every blessed step of the way.
That Pope-mobile is a sweet ride.
I can get you inside it.
Not even bullets can get inside the Pope-mobile, Babcock.
But, thanks to my volunteering with the Sisters of the Immaculate Conception, I've got a prime spot to film a drive-by.
Actually, Dennis, my Great-Uncle Rutger is a Cardinal in Germany.
An old friend of Pope Joe's from back in the day.
You know the Pope, Babcock?
I don't want to brag.
You wanna cover his visit?
I'd love to, but isn't that Pepper's...
Story?
Yes, it is.
Jack, the Pontiff is my beat.
I've done the lead-up, the extensive background research.
I've even learned several key phrases in Latin.
Great.
Give your notes to Babcock.
But...
I want Chicago to get to know our new anchor.
It speaks volumes about Babcock's character if we show him schmoozing with His Eminence.
Tough break, Dennis.
You'll get an assignment just as good.
From what I understand, Meaghan, this particular pot of winning chili is of the traditional red variety.
That is correct.
And where do you fall on the bean debate?
Oh, my goodness, no beans.
They ruin flavor and texture.
You heard it here first, Chicago.
Bean-free is the way to go.
This is Pepper Dennis, live from Saint Bridget's...
I'll tell you my secret ingredient.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's the secret to blue-ribbon chili, Meaghan?
Freshly-squeezed lime juice.
I learned that from my sister, Betty.
She's the real expert.
She's been perfecting her recipe just forever.
Then why didn't she win?
I know know.
Church politics, I guess.
My picture looks better in the bulletin.
That isn't fair.
How long you been cooking the chili, Betty?
I guess it's been about 20 years.
How does it make you feel, having someone else swoop in and steal all the glory using your recipe for success?
I'm sure Meaghan adds some other ingredients.
Indeed she does.
A big dollop of shamelessness and a pinch of lies.
Excuse me?
Yeah.
That's not what I said.
There's a word for what happened to you, Betty.
You've been "Babcocked."
Oh, this is...
this is nuts.
I won, and everybody just needs to accept that.
Did you even try my chili today, Meaghan?
Why would I?
Well, like you said, I'm the expert.
Well, according to this, I'm the expert.
Make no mistake, Betty.
She threw that gauntlet right down into your crock pot.
From the St.
Bridget's Chili Cook-off here in Schaumburg, where the competition has gotten more than heated...
I'm Pepper Dennis.
This tape is misleading, Jack.
I was after a bigger story than a chili cook-off.
I was out to right a wrong.
Dennis, you incited a riot in a church basement. "
Riot"?
Pretty strong words for a food fight, Jack.
Besides, I wasn't even supposed to be there.
Babcock took my story.
Last time I checked, Missy, I'm the one who hands out assignments.
If you've got a problem with the way I'm doing my job...
No, sir.
Now what's really going on, Dennis?
Hmm?
What do you mean?
Don't know.
Lately, something's off with you.
Is it personal?
Maybe a guy?
No!
No!
No, no, no.
There's no guy.
Seriously, I'm fine.
The suits upstairs don't think so.
Little stunt you pulled today makes you a liability.
They want to make sure an incident like this doesn't happen again.
Who's Dr.
Crimmons?
Corporate shrink.
We have a corporate shrink?
Don't get me started.
The money we pay this guy, I could have three more news vans.
I don't need therapy.
You don't have a choice!
I'm afraid you're going to have to play the game, Dennis.
Little advice?
Try your best not to sound like a loon.
Can you believe it, Kimmy, me in therapy?
Like I'm some housewife with intimacy issues.
Well...
you do kiss Walter Cronkite's picture every morning.
Which you know because all the self-analysis I need happens right here, in this chair, with you.
I treasure our sessions, I do.
I just think that someone with better credentials than a cosmetology certificate could help you over some of your hurdles.
What hurdles?
Oh, let me see, where should I start?
Your compulsive drive.
Your need for control.
Charlie.
My one-time tryst with the evening anchor is top secret.
No one at work can ever know about it, especially a corporate therapist.
It has nothing to do with my professional life or job performance.
Are you sure about that?
Charlie Babcock and I met.
We had toe-curling sex, and now I'm over it.
Moving on. "
Toe-curling."
Hmm.
I like that.
It means... "
commonplace," Babcock.
As in, "I'm so bored, I'm curling my toes to pass the time."
Right.
So, Kimmy knows?
I'm Makeup.
I know everything.
What do you want?
Did the shipment arrive?
What is that?
My secret weapon.
Viewers trust a healthy smile.
You ordered a case?
Uh, yeah, the pearly whites needed a boost.
Now, skedaddle.
The Pope anointed me with holy oil.
I need Kimmy to matte down the T-zone.
You got an audience with the Pope?
It was pretty awesome.
You should've been there, Dennis.
That's better.
Chair's all yours, Babcock.
I'm late for a meeting.
Hi.
I was wondering if I could see you before therapy.
Shh!
You know about that?
I do take Mr.
Bell's messages.
Ooh.
Promise you'll talk about the time Mom left you at the lake.
That could bring about a lot of family healing.
I'm not telling him anything.
This is just to appease Corporate, so keep it to yourself.
Okay.
Come on.
I have a surprise.
Tah-dah.
Who are they?
Stories.
Ever since I've been working here, all of these people have called in with fascinating personal stories.
At which point you, at the reception desk, should put them through to the assignment desk.
I do.
And for some reason, they keep getting ignored.
I don't know who's in charge over there, but I'd be concerned.
Anyway, I started keeping a log so wanted to give you first dibs.
Sebastian's defective water bed broke.
He was evicted, now he's living on the streets.
Who else?
Did you tell her about me?
Oh.
And this is Todd.
He's a freshman at Deering University.
Not a story.
How's this?
The fraternity that he was pledging wouldn't let him in, even after he did everything they asked.
That's a story.
No, that's disappointing.
You see, Todd, to be fit for broadcast, a story must have three parts: interesting premise, dramatic climax, satisfying denouement.
I-I don't understand.
Like this.
A reporter goes loca.
Snaps.
Spends the rest of her life in the booby hatch.
That's a story.
Right, Dennis?
What about Gamma Psi Beta smaking me swallow a live goldfish when I'm a vegan?
If your angle is hazing, I'm going to need more than that.
Nice meeting you, though.
How about forcing me and the other pledges to tie a log to our privates and hold it for six hours straight without dropping it?
A log?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, the-the oak is supposed to be a symbol for Gamma Psi Beta.
You know, it's supposed to pledge your allegiance for the brotherhood, but really, it's just...
torture.
Listen, I'm late for an appointment.
Can you wait around?
Yay.
Okay, oh, before you go, you have to meet Brenda.
She carved the entire Chicago skyline out of soap.
Uh.
Okay, later, then.
Ah, hello, Pepper.
How are you, huh?
Um, I'm Dr.
Crimmons, and, uh...
Would you like to do this in your office?
That might be a little more private.
I'm in a cubicle.
Mm.
Does that, uh, bother you, being in a cubicle?
I consider the world my office, Doc.
Doesn't get much bigger than that.
Mm.
Okay.
All right, so, Pepper, how are you doing?
Great.
Good.
Um...
would you like to talk about the incident at St.
Bridget's this morning?
No, thank you.
Okay.
Then we'll talk about something else, huh?
No topic is off-limits.
We could talk about the weather, or, uh, the Cubs.
No?
Um...
how about your family?
Sure.
You go first.
Uh, okay.
Um, well, uh, your sister, she seems nice.
Cares a lot about you.
Even mentioned something about a lake.
Right.
Later, I may drown her in one.
I'm sensing a little anger there.
Swing and a miss, Doc.
It's called humor.
Well, actually, it's called sarcasm.
And it's anger's handmaiden.
With whom are you angry?
I'm not angry.
I think you are.
Oh, but I'm not.
Pepper, I saw the tape of the chili brawl.
You are full of rage.
Why?
Look, I understand that we both have to be here, but I'm just dandy.
Uh, okay.
Then prove it.
Let' use this therapeutic Zen garden.
Now, these stones...
represent barriers in your life, huh?
Mountains in your path, if you will.
What's that?
Oh, sounds like somebody's having a party.
Fine, Doc, you want me to go digging in the dirt, I'm game.
We can do it as long as we want.
But you're not gonna uncover anything compelling.
'Cause the only thing you're going to find in that cat box is cat sh...
Ooh!
I'm so sorry.
I think I know what's wrong.
Well, this is excellent.
Has the stinging stopped?
No, no, actually, I was talking about your outburst.
Now, let's replay what happened.
The past is the past.
Why reminisce?
Well, because it's therapy-- corporate-ordered, mandatory therapy.
Fine.
We were talking.
Babcock started his Pope show-and-tell.
You said I was angry.
I told you I wasn't.
The Babcock fan club started...
All right, all right, all right.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Say his name again.
Who?
Babcock?!
Oh, yep.
There it is.
I've found your trigger-- Charlie Babcock.
There's something going on between you two.
No, there's not.
You can deny it if you like, but he brings about a reaction in you.
Your voice goes up a quarter-octave when you say his name.
Yes, Miss Dennis, it is Charlie Babcock.
He's the one you're angry with.
You know what?
Yes, I am angry with Babcock.
Excellent.
What happened?
He's obnoxious, and he took my job.
What job?
The anchor position.
Oh, oh, oh...
your anchor position?
Well, they hadn't exactly stenciled my name on the parking spot or anything.
Oh, well, then technically, you had no right to even think that that job was yours.
He's still obnoxious!
You should have seen the smirk on his face this morning when he pilfered the Pope from me!
I see.
And then you decided to unleash that resentment on the good people of St.
Bridget's.
Those two sisters have been waiting to duke it out for decades.
I'm not worried about them.
I am worried about you and your career.
Because if you lose it in the field one more time, you're as good as gone.
What do you mean?
If you ever want to reach your goal of being an anchor, you cannot be so excitable.
Take Dan Rather.
He got all jumpy over Dubya's National Guard documents, and look what happened.
Oh, God.
Do you want to gain back the emotional control that you lack?
Yes.
Then you must resolve your issues with Charlie...
Babcock.
Blanca?
Kimmy, tell her this is a closed-door session.
Blanca, this will only take a minute.
I have been meaning to tell you, you report last week on temperature extremes and drought was excellent.
I know.
And when that farmer cried about losing his crops, I was moved.
Yes, I do make weather personal.
Exactly.
And that's why I've been thinking, wouldn't it be great if Blanca Martinez had a touching and personal story to tie into the weather every night?
Kimmy, tissue.
Sebastian, this is Blanca.
Sebastian was evicted.
He's living on the streets.
You want me to do my weather report with a homeless man?
Who cares more about the weather than the homeless?
Look at them, Jack.
They are a workplace hazard.
I might file a grievance.
Excuse me, but they have names, like Todd.
Hi, uh, where's Pepper Dennis?
I'm sure it won't be much longer.
What the hell happened there?
Don't you think that all of Chicago wants the answer to that question?
No!
Mr.
Bell, please.
I promised these people that we'd cover their stories.
Promises are like babies, Little Dennis-- easy to make, hard to deliver.
Now, get these lemons out of my lobby.
Okay, so how is this supposed to work?
In order to release your anger, you are going to invite Charlie Babcock to have what we call fierce conversation.
I like the sound of that.
I attack, I unleash, I retreat.
Is it too early to request a round two?
No, "fierce" refers to your level of honesty, which will be 100 percent.
Now, once you admit to Charlie that you're angry with him, it will free you up to take your next healing step-- telling him you're sorry and accepting him as part of the WEiE family.
This isn't fair!
Everything was just fine before Babcock came to town.
I'm the victim here.
Yes, you are.
Victim of yourself.
But five small words can change that. "
Welcome to WEiE, Charlie Babcock."
I don't like you.
Coming through.
See, you guys can put that bad boy down right here for now.
What's going on?
Ah, just cruising through my interior decorating allowance.
What do you think?
Uh, Mr.
Babcock, hi, I'm Dr.
Crimmons, Pepper's corporate therapist.
Right.
How are your eyes?
Oh, fine.
Thank you.
Pepper and I stopped by because she would like to have a conversation with you.
With me?
And you?
Why's that?
Oh, no, I can assure you that this isn't an ambush.
My role is to be one of mediator.
Although, I much prefer the term intercourse guide.
We don't need a guide for that, right, Dennis?
Uh, anyway, shall we, um...
Uh, yes.
I tell you what.
If I could just ask you to leave for just a second.
Thank you.
Terrific.
And take these two gentlemen with you.
Yes, thank you very much.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
I think it would be best if we all focused on the task at hand.
Hmm?
All right, Pepper, you begin.
But if you veer off message, I'll raise this flag.
Okay?
Understand?
Go ahead.
Apparently...
Wait. "
Apparently" is a blame-shifting word.
Oh...
yeah.
See, that is very astute.
You've been in therapy before.
I'm no stranger to the couch.
And let me just say that I admire Dennis for taking these steps to improve herself.
Oh, please.
Hostile tone, Pepper.
Tone says more than words.
What words?
You haven't let me speak.
Defensiveness.
Pepper, please.
This is for your benefit, all right?
And, Charlie, this is very difficult for Pepper, so why don't you try to be a little more supportive.
Hmm?
Of course.
Have you tried journaling?
Babcock, just listen.
Notice how she only calls me Babcock.
It creates distance.
This is pointless.
Destructive dialogue.
It's okay.
I can ignore her.
Ignore me?
Can you ignore this?
Not really.
'Cause that's saucy.
Okay, this is not healing behavior.
Charlie.
Charlie, let's just...
Hello, Mr.
Bell.
Um...
we're making fantastic progress.
Looks more like a lead-up to a three-way.
Why is Babcock a part of this?
Uh, well, journeys to the soul often require the picking up and dropping off of passengers.
I can't believe insurance pays for this crap.
What's up, Jack?
Assignment desk picked up a call from Deering University.
Some kid named Todd Haskell is holding hostages at a frat house.
Pulled his picture off the Internet.
That's the kid from reception.
He was talking to Kathy.
Well, now he needs to be talking to you.
Get down there!
Young man in distress.
Might I be of some assistance?
I think you've been enough help for today.
Foosball?
One game.
What are you doing?
Pepper's been having a rough time lately, and I'm hoping this will lift her spirits.
Chick, do you want to jump her bones, or do you want to be her bestest friend ever?
It's nice.
It conveys a message.
Yeah.
I'm gay.
Dude, she is a woman.
You don't have a shot unless you start being a man.
You have to reach for it, son.
You watch.
I bet she likes it.
Guys, we got to move.
Some frat boy over at Deering's losing it.
We got to make sure we get over there as soon as we...
Babcock!
This is a blatant taunt.
It's gonna take more than some mumbo-jumbo feel-good poster to get to me.
I heard that.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Pardon me.
Hello.
Hi!
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed meeting everybody today.
But unfortunately, WEiE is unable to use your stories at this time.
So, women and children into the elevator first?
Okay.
Well...
bye-bye.
You know what?
Take a few minutes if you need to.
It's been a long day.
Say, why don't I order some sandwiches?
Do you need validation?
Don't we all?
I'm sorry.
That's just a little therapist joke.
That's Twinkle.
His owner Marybeth is blind.
She's also allergic to dogs, hence the, um, seeing-eye cat.
Oh.
Well, that is amazing.
Yeah, I agree.
Only, it hasn't worked out so well.
As we all know, cats aren't codependent.
Marybeth called the station to see if there was anything that we could do.
I said that we'd try, but then my boss ordered me to kick her out.
He wants me to kick all of them out.
And yet, they're still here.
Yeah, I'm trying, you know, but it's hard.
I know what it's like to be alone.
Just want someone to listen to you when you're sitting across from him at the breakfast table, hoping he'll look up from the paper and thank you for the homemade granola parfait.
Anyway...
...they need help, you know.
Yeah.
They're not the only ones.
Listen, I know this kid.
You have to let me in.
It's not gonna happen.
But you said he wanted to speak to media.
That's me, I'm media.
Okay, bub.
Where are the real police?
Ooh, is that a slam?
Am I supposed to feel stupid?
'Cause I'm getting paid 16 bucks an hour to pretty much do nothing, so who's stupid now?
Are you done?
They're on their way.
All right, the fuzz is due any second.
Any other stations roll in?
No.
Good.
We got to step this up if we want this exclusive.
Who would know how to get into that house undetected?
Hi.
What's the sluttiest sorority on campus?
Rho Eta Pi.
Hi.
Oh my God!
Amber, your pledge mom is here!
You were so much fun!
Actually, I'm Pepper Dennis, WEiE News.
There's a situation over at Gamma Psi Beta.
Like a beer bust?
More like an hysterical freshman.
Not interested.
Are you sure?
'Cause if I don't find a way to sneak into that frat house, something very bad could happen.
They'll cancel Greek Week.
Amber's mommy will never come home again.
If you want to get into Gamma Psi Beta, use the love ladder.
I'll understand if you don't want to do this.
We don't know what's up there.
Might get a little dicey.
Pepper, I'm your shooter; I'm not afraid.
And even if I were, I wouldn't let you go alone, because I'm here for you whenever you need me.
Thanks, Chick.
Let's do this.
Hang in there.
What are they doing?
Exactly what they did to me.
Todd.
Remember me?
Yeah.
Pepper Dennis, hey.
Get inside.
So am I a story now?
Don't be silly, Jack.
Everything is fine.
It's not fine-- you're a hostage!
Hear me out.
I know this kid.
He's not deranged.
He's a sensitive soul who's hurting.
It's reckless reporting-- I don't like it.
A million things could go wrong.
It's your call, and I respect that.
But before we toss it on the discard pile, let me show you how I'd frame it.
Look at this, Jack.
Damn you, Dennis.
Hair-raising, isn't it?
This angry, rejected pledge has taken the senior brothers by the genitals just to prove a point.
What point?
Does it even matter, Jack?
I'm oddly curious.
He was rebuffed by them, and now he wants the entire city of Chicago to watch as they suffer the same humiliation he had to suffer.
We've got hazing, we've got hostages, we've got naked frat boys.
Isn't this a story begging to be told?
Start setting up your shots.
We'll go live.
It's a go.
Did you hear that, guys?
You're going to be famous!
All right...
you know what, bro?
We've been using the same log for years, and we all know the strings are long enough.
Oh, yeah?
Well, that was before I shortened them.
Okay, that's not funny, dude.
Well, you seemed to think it was funny when you made me drink ten beers and then pogo-stick to Blockbuster.
Hmm?
How about the time you made me put on the French maid outfit and clean up this entire pigsty by myself?
You think you can just treat someone like that and then throw them away?!
Well, you can't, okay?
You humiliated me, and now, it's your turn.
By the way, you're not interviewing me.
What?!
No.
You blew me off; you're just like them.
Todd, as someone who declined to rush at Northwestern, I can assure you that I am decidedly anti-Greek.
Feta, Yanni?
Save it, okay?
Get me somebody else.
Okay, remember, saying no to them is saying yes to you.
Got it.
No to them, yes to me.
No to them, yes to me.
Hi, Mrs.
Gretz.
It seems that Ginger's tap routine isn't quite right for the entertainment report.
But maybe if we did up her hair a little, we could convince those uppity entertainment people to reconsider.
They're still here?
What are you doing?
Just making sure Ginger's extra-pretty for her TV appearance.
Are you the mother?
Pretty's not in the cards.
As for the rest of you, you will not be on television, unless it's Cops or perhaps maybe a telethon.
Got it?
Vamanos!
Let's go.
Eh...
You failed your first exercise.
I can't help it.
This is who I am.
Yes, and one day, those desperate attempts to please others will destroy you.
People are bottomless pits of need.
Eventually, your efforts won't be enough, and they'll punish you for it.
Friends will betray you, men will leave, and then who will take care of Kathy Dinkle-Williams?
Just Dinkle.
I'm getting a divorce.
Then you know what I mean.
Kathy, if you don't change, people will always see you as one thing and one thing only.
A doormat.
Jack, we got ourselves a situation.
This kid doesn't want me to interview him.
Why?
I don't know-- all of a sudden he's all mad and judgy.
I'll do it.
Just so happens, I'm Gamma Psi Beta.
I could break the ice with our toast song.
Works for me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm handling this, Jack.
Hey, Dennis, we're going with Babcock.
You heard the man, he's a brother.
Now get that kid briefed.
Jack, could I please speak to Babcock for a second?
What do you think we're doing here?
On a secure channel.
Why?
Just some delicate background stuff, that's all.
All right, make it quick.
You're secure with Dennis.
Babcock?
Nice work, Dennis, incredible get.
Babcock!
And you're gonna love the toast song.
Seriously, there won't be a dry eye in the house.
Babcock, just stop and let me talk!
Okay.
When I get back to the station, we are having it out, just you and me and a real fierce conversation!
30 seconds!
No waving flags, no corporate therapists.
They've offered you Charlie Babcock.
Oh, he's cool, hey, hey!
Charlie Babcock, guys.
Huh?!
That's pretty cool, right?
No!
No, he's not cool!
He's a pompous, gassy frat boy just like these guys.
I'm the one who manipulated the sorority dingbats, climbed through a window, and stared down the barrel of a gun!
Lady, would you please calm down?
I've got ten seconds left to vent!
This is my story, just like the Pope was my story.
I can't believe it.
Babcocked twice in one day!
Pepper!
Good afternoon, Chicago.
This is Charlie Babcock with WEiE breaking news.
There's terror on Deering University's fraternity row.
The strings are long enough.
You are so dead!
WEiE's Pepper Dennis is live on the scene.
Pepper?
Get the cops in that house, now!
Babcock, you're live.
Pepper?
Babcock, it's dead air.
Talk.
There were shots fired.
We seem to have, uh, lost...
Sign off, Babcock.
Sign off, Babcock, or you're a dead man.
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the technical difficulties we are experiencing.
Jack, Jack, can you hear me?
Pepper, are you okay?
Is everything all right?
Yeah.
Hang on a second.
Everybody calm down right now!
Chick.
Camera.
All right, throw it back to me, Jack, I have picture.
I've just been informed that we've regained contact at the Gamma Psi Beta house.
Pepper, what's happening?
Sorry if we gave the folks at home a scare.
Our feed was knocked out, but nobody is hurt.
The hostage taker has been subdued, and the police are on their way.
For more developments, keep watching WEiE News.
Back to you, Charlie.
That was our very own Pepper Dennis, reporting live from what could have been a tragic scene at Deering University.
Great work, Pepper.
Get back safely.
For WEiE News, I'm Charlie Babcock.
And we're out.
Okay, guys, come on, let's go.
Are you hurt?
I'm in a lot of trouble, huh?
This isn't me.
I couldn't hurt a fly, I swear.
I know.
God!
Why did I do this?
They tormented and rejected you, Todd.
No one can blame you for hating them.
But that's just it, I don't.
I love those guys.
I wanted to be a brother more than...
anything.
And you know, when you want something so bad, and you realize it's just never gonna happen...
It's easier to make them the enemy.
You understand that?
Yeah.
I think I've been doing the same thing.
Okay, nice and easy, kid.
All right, buddy, you're coming with us.
Where'd Garfield go?
The Rho Eta Pi has dragged him off to a party.
He'll probably be pinned by sundown.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Pepper, I stare at you all day for a living, and right now your lower lip is jutting out just a tiny bit, making that perfectly round...
Anyway, you're upset.
I came this close to turning seven beer-guzzling jocks into choir boys, Chick.
The therapist is right.
My unresolved anger is messing up my game.
So why don't you take another kickboxing class?
That ought to nip it in the bud.
That's what I thought until a spurned, hostage-taking frat boy helped me see my situation more clearly.
Todd didn't hate those guys.
He loved them.
But his feelings had nowhere to go.
That kind of thing can make you want to lash out, take hostages.
Throw chili.
I'm not really following.
Well, I guess I know what it's like to have feelings for somebody that can't be returned.
Who?
Babcock.
Something kind of got started with him, but due to bad timing and circumstances, it stopped, and I thought I was over him, but I'm not.
It turned me into a ticking time bomb.
Sorry if you took any shrapnel, hmm?
You should talk to him.
Believe me.
Carrying all that around and not telling the person-- it's brutal.
I don't know.
It would be messy and mortifying and gut-wrenchingly painful.
Not when he tells you he cares about you, too.
Oh, Chick.
What would I do without you?
Well, lucky for you, you'll never have to find out.
Hey.
Don't "hey" me, buddy.
You know, you are really lucky.
I could have...
feathered your bangs.
Sorry.
Just needed a calm place.
Hi.
Don't you have a Jacuzzi in your office?
It's more of a deluxe footbath with pedicure center, actually.
Evening Primrose oil.
It's good for PMS and all-around crap days.
I don't do aroma therapy.
But, uh, there's a first time for everything.
Oh, it's nice.
Thanks.
Tough day at the office?
Hmm.
You saw it.
Kinda.
What happened?
It was a run-of-the-mill hostage situation.
And then the gun went off, and the feed went out...
And you thought she was dead?
Yeah, I kind of freaked out, too.
All I kept thinking was, that's it.
That's how it's going to end.
No more jokes, no more banter.
We have damn good banter.
When she's not screaming at me.
Yeah, you do.
Damn it.
Ten seconds of me...
fumfering, and then dead air.
Well, see, I've covered much hairier situations and never done that before.
She's under your skin, Charlie.
You see, that...
that's not my style.
Hmm.
Well, like you said, there's always a first time for everything.
Babcock, I was looking for you.
Right.
Do you want to grab a drink, Dennis?
We need to talk.
Sure.
Dennis!
Babcock!
Both of you in my office, now.
Stupid, impetuous, irresponsible, ratings-bating.
Am I leaving anything out?
I'm talking about all of us here, so feel free to jump in.
Actually...
Dennis, you're my number one reporter, but you're no good to me pushing up daisies.
Next time there is a police line, stay behind it!
Yes, sir.
And you-- the only thing worse than a dead reporter is dead air.
I hate dead air.
I don't pay anchors for dead air.
Jack...
What is going on with you two?
What do you mean?
Don't give me that line of bull.
I am talking about the little things I've noticed of late, like Babcock in your therapy session.
Or conversations on secure lines.
Or the way you look at each other.
I'm not that old.
I know the look.
So I'm gonna ask flat-out if there is anything that's going on that isn't 100% professional.
And before you respond, you should know that the correct answer is no.
This is journalism, not Brad and Angelina.
There's nothing going on.
Right, Dennis?
Right, Babcock.
Good.
If it is, the doors of this station will hit you in the ass before the pink slips hit your desk.
Now, get out of here.
Uh, I think maybe I'll hang out here for a little while.
Maybe go over some tapes.
Yeah.
I have tons to do, too.
Bye, Dennis.
See you around.
Wait, there's one more thing.
Welcome to WEiE, Charlie Babcock.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing?
Just putting some zest on your doormat.
I mean, there's no reason that it can't look pretty.
Even though everyone wipes their muddy feet on it and walks away.
No one ever thinks about the doormat, do they?
The sad, lonely, miserable doormat.
What's going on, Kathy?
Dr.
Crimmons diagnosed me today.
I'm too nice.
I'm a people-pleaser.
I'm this.
Apparently, it's my curse.
Are you okay?
No, I don't think I am.
Let me make some tea.
Chamomile always makes me feel better.
There are lemon bars in the freezer.
How does that sound?
Really good.
Why don't you go put your pj's on?
I got this one covered.
Kathy?
Yeah?
Crimmons sucks.
Transcript: Raceman - Synchro: Amariss www.forom.com -