Programma Televisivo: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - 1x19
***** Do you happen to know if Tom got an e mail Do yfrom his brotherw if Tbefore the show?
His parents called me they haven't heard from his brother in about 48 hours.
I can't feel the baby kick.
What does that mean?
I haven't felt her kick all day, and if I drink orange juice,usually I can get her to...
Three American soldiers were ambushed in their truck on a road in Paktika,Afghanistan.
One of them is Mark Jeter.
These things turn out okay.
Drive Jordan to Cedars Sanai emergency room.
She'll tell you why on the way.
What do you want to do now?
k&r Is it the ratings?
Too early.
We're not even up on the West Coast yet.
Then are we just being summarily fired?
Is everybody here?
No,we're missing Tom and Simon.
Hang on a second, hang on.
Yeah,listen,uh...
You guys are scaring the hell out of everybody.
All right.
About,uh,20 minutes ago, we found out- it's on the news- we found out that Tom's brother was one of three airmen captured on a road out of Kandahar.
There's videos, there are hostage demands.
Where's Tom?
Jack took him over to NBS, so we're gonna shut down the party.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Why?
'Cause right now the news isn't reporting one of them's the brother of a celebrity.
The longer we can wait for that word...
He's right.
Yeah.
A All right.
Yeah.
Uh,let the party be a party.
Nobody says anything.
I want to talk to Tom.
Soon as he's done getting some answers.
The video message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on al Jazeera television ,and has since been rebroadcast on all the major news channels.
Forensics experts...
Tom.
Yeah?
Your friend Simon Stiles is making a lot of noise out there.
He's my friend.
Can he come in here?
This is just for family.
He's family.
When did it happen?
22 hours ago.
We're just reporting it now?
We just found out about it when al Jazeera put up the tape.
CentCom knew about it before the tape?
Jack...
we can deal with that another time.
Your brother and two others were transporting fuel from Kandahar to the village of Golam Kot.
His truck was ambushed.
By Taliban fighters?
Yeah.
And we know the tape is legitimate?
DOD's verified the identification of all three soldiers.
They're makingthree demands.
Airmen.
I'm sorry?
They're not soldiers.
They're in the United States Air Force they're airmen.
I'm sorry,son.
Airmen.
They're making three demands.
Yeah.
All U.
S.
and U.
N.
forces leave the province of Paktika, Afghanistan.
No problem.
And the U.
S.
will agree to no longer build women's...
Oh,my God.
Damn!
...
including Mark Jeter, younger brother of Tom Jeter.
Are they out of their minds?
Jack.
Howard,they're gonna shut their friggin' mouths right now.
Set up a conference call right now with every...
The show completed its live East Coast broadcast less than 40 minutes ago.
How many hours has it been since you felt your baby move?
At least six.
I've been drinking orange juice.
And when was the last time you saw your ob gyn?
Uh,two weeks ago.
Everything checked out?
Yeah.
What do you think is wrong?
Probably nothing.
Diabetes?
No.
Allergies?
Shellfish.
Doctor?
Have you ever terminated a pregnancy?
Jordan?
Yes.
In 1999.
Would that have...
Were there any complications?
Doctor?
No.
Yeah?
Her blood pressure.
Take it again.
I took it three times.
What's wrong?
Your blood pressure's 180/110.
What does that mean?
Eh,something's going on.
Let's get you to a sonogram machine.
Can you think of any reason why your blood pressure would be so high?
I'm a president of a network,we're having ratings problems, I'm having a fight with my yfriend, who's the sweetest man in the world, and the little brother of a cast member of mine has been taken hostage in Afghanistan.
Wow.
Do you have anyone that you can call family or friends?
Danny Tripp.
Is that the father?
No,but he wants to be.
Damn it.
What?
Local news let it out it's Tom's brother.
Jack's trying to shut them down.
These guys have been beaten up.
This one's got an ax in his hand.
Hey,just cool it.
Danny.
Not now.
It's Jordan.
What are they saying?
I'm coming.
Where's he going?
Jordan's at the emergency room.
Why is she at the emergency room?
Uh,she hasn't felt the baby kick in a while.
All right.
Almighty God...
=The Last Fantasy= Proudly Presents Sync:��ɽͯ�� -=www.eastgame.net=- ********* Hi.
Um...
I just spoke to Tom.
And?
Well...
How is he?
- He's all right- there's a procedure where a commander and a chaplain and a casualty officer come to the...
family and wait with them.
Does he know anything at all yet?
Mark's got a couple of things working in his favor.
He's a captured soldier rather than a civilian hostage.
As a captured soldier,he's got the power of the U.
S.
armed forces working towards his rescue.
Are they trying to rescue him?
Is that something...
They're not gonna tell Tom or anybody else.
What's the other thing working in his favor?
He's not Jewish.
Wow.
So if it was you over there instead of Mark...
They'd be FedExing my head to my parents right now.
Well,if it absolutely,positively has to be there overnight.
We shouldn't be laughing.
Well,crying doesn't do any good.
Didn't we have this fight once before?
Haven't we had every fight at least once before?
Seriously,I remember this one.
But we were on the other side.
It was the day the war started in Afghanistan.
No,it was the day of the Emmys.
It was the day the war started.
No,they were the same day; they postponed the Emmys till October 'cause of 9/11.
Yeah.
And we all met here and were getting drunk before we got into the car and went to the Shrine.
And you were all fuhtutzed because...
Why?
I don't know,maybe it had something to do with being attacked by terrorists four weeks earlier?
No.
It was because you couldn't tie your tie.
Does anybody know how to tie a bow tie?
Anybody?
Excuse me,you want to stop kissing my ex girlfriend for a second?
Sorry.
Either of you know how to tie a bow tie?
Mine's a clip- on.
- I can do it.
You want some more champagne?
Yes.
Okay.
Come here.
Why didn't you just get a clip on?
'Cause I'm from the East.
What does that mean?
It means a lot.
But you don't know how to tie it, I work in a building with 14 professional wardrobe mistresses.
I figured it wouldn't be a problem.
Here, face me.
No.
Wait.
Turn around- let me stand in back of you.
No,face me.
Harry...
Calm down.
Do I seem tense?
Hey!
Champagne cork.
Oh,wait,I know why you're nervous.
I'm not nervous.
You're accepting if we win?
Wes had Danny and I flip a coin.
You'll be great.
We're not gonna win.
And we shouldn't be going anyway.
Let me start this again.
Do you know what you're doing?
Yes.
Really?
You think it's too early?
I think it's too early for an awards show, I think it's too early for us to be going on the air Friday night, and I really think it's too early for you to be making out with Luke in the hallway.
You broke up with me.
The two times before that, you broke up with me.
The time before that,I broke up with you, and the time before that,you just hit me in the face with a socket wrench.
Well,you seem to be recovering nicely with Miss Hawaiian Tropic.
She's a smart girl.
Is that right?
Well,she doesn't think Adam and Eve rode on a dinosaur through the Garden of Eden.
Mm...
Matt?
Yeah?
I'm bored.
Are we going to the InStyle after party?
Uh,yes,yes,we are.
We have to...
wait for it to start.
Well,when does it start?
After.
The awards.
Why don't you get some more champagne.
Lots more.
Shut up!
I'll be right there.
Okay.
Okay. "
Matt...
I'm bored. "
Harriet,Matt got promoted to co exec instead of me, and now he's my boss,so to piss him off I'm gonna take you to the Emmys.
You think Luke is back with me to make you mad?
Mm,yes.
Sure,why would anyone do anything except to bother you?
Music stopped.
This isn't quite right.
Yeah.
Could you just staple it or something, or shove it in your mouth?
It's way too early for any of this.
I can't think of what kinds of jokes to write while steel is still smoldering in downtown Manhattan.
I don't care about the coin toss you're accepting tonight if we win.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
I think they're gonna cancel it again.
Why?
The war just started.
Hey,uh,I'm looking for Jordan McDeere.
She's a pregnant woman,very pretty.
She's gonna be fine.
She's down the hall,second door on the right.
Second door on the right.
Thanks.
What's going on?
I was hoping you could tell me.
There isn't a TV in here, and nobody knows anything about Tom's brother.
What's going on with you?
It's nothing.
We're in an emergency room!
They did a sonogram, and the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck.
What?
But it's okay.
The baby's choking?
- It's okay - it's not unusual.
How we doing?
What's going on?
Are you Daniel Tripp?
Yes.
Okay,the baby's having decelerations.
His heart rate should be 120 to 180 beats per minute.
Her heart rate.
It's a girl.
Excuse me.
Her heart rate is only 80 beats per minute.
But the the...
cord is wrapped around her neck?
Yeah.
That's what's causing the deceleration.
So what do we do about that?
Nothing.
We just monitor the situation.
The baby's choking.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit?
!
Danny!
And Jordan's blood pressure is very high,so shouting isn't gonna help.
So we just wait?
Yeah.
The baby's gonna untangle himself.
Herself.
It's okay.
How old are you?
I'll be 29 tomorrow.
Oh!
Congratulations,but,um...
I'm gonna call a real doctor.
Well...
Honey...
if I wasn't,they wouldn't let me work here.
What's your...
what's your specialty gonna be?
Sports medicine.
Okay,well,if she tears a hamstring, we'll give you a call in the meantime, I'd like someone who built their beach house in Malibu with the babies they've delivered.
Suit yourself.
You can't just reach in there and untangle it?
Danny...
Billy Crystal did it in City Slickers.
It was a cow!
I'll keep checking on you.
What's happening with Tom?
Hang on one second.
Hey,it's me.
Call Ted Goldstein.
Tell him it's an emergency.
Tell him to call me right away.
Thanks.
How's Tom?
He's scared to death.
If it's at all possible,they shouldn't broadcast that it's the brother of a celebrity.
Somebody already did.
Jack's trying to shut it down.
Are you in pain?
No.
Then why's your blood pressure high?
God,I don't know.
Let's try and think.
Hey,it's up on your air right now.
I'm looking at it.
Get it down.
Yeah,I'm looking at it,Phil.
Get it down now.
You got his,you got his picture mortised, you got it chyroned...
Get it down!
You got B rollof him wa on the red carpet.
You got a a screen grab of him with Lindsay Lohan.
It doesn't matter!
Get it down now!
Get it down.
You'll see what you can do?
What are you...
?
Here.
It's not hard.
You press a button.
You go to commercial and you beat the crap out of whoever's exec producing this thing before I do it for ya!
You're gonna get this guy's ass dragged through the street!
The message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on Al Jazeera television and has since been re- broadcast on all the major news channels.
Forensics experts in both the CIA and...
Yeah?
Yeah,see what you can do.
Well,the consensus seems to be since it's out there already,it's out there.
Aah,that's such crap,Howard.
Nicholas Berg,Danny Pearl,we managed to keep a lid on the things we needed to shut up about.
This is 'cause they found a way to make the war fun again.
Excuse me,Tom.
There are three of them.
I'm sorry?
It says,it just says,"Brother of Jeter held hostage. "
Corey Smith and Herman Valdez, they have brothers,too.
I know.
I've met them.
Yeah,I know,I know.
...
Is there any point to this?
Yeah,yeah,they have it.
They have it.
...
reports of a Taliban retreat are circulating...
All right,tell me something that I've always wanted to know.
Why isn't there 24 hour CIA surveillance of every employee of Al Jazeera?
Somebody's getting these tapes handed to them.
You,you can't make a home movie and then broadcast it on MBS without our knowing how it got there.
I've got a different question.
What?
Didn't we win this war once already?
Oh!
Oh!
It's a rout,baby!
Sit down!
In 24 hours, we knocked down the airport in Kandahar, eviscerated Taliban command and control, had 50 out of 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles hit their targets, including the one that blew up Mullah Omar's compound.
Everybody sit down!
We wiped out their air defenses.
These guys are gonna see what a B 1 bomber looks like up close.
Oh,please,it's such a load.
Excuse me?
It's a load.
Can we not...
?
The fact we got attacked or the fact that we're fighting back?
It's about oil.
It's always about oil.
We invade, it shuts production in Afghanistan, gas prices go through the roof.
Oh,Lord.
You disagree?
Yes!
And it's not just because there's no oil in Afghanistan.
We made five perfectly reasonable demands like shutting down their terrorist camps and handing over Osama,none of which were met, so it looks like we're doing it ourselves.
Thank you.
And I don't think it's gonna be psychically satisfyingas you th Afghanistan after you bomb it looks pretty much the same as Afghanistan before it gets bombed, but that's not our problem right now.
What is?
How do we do a show Friday night?
What are we supposed to joke about?
Them.
Who?
The bad guys.
Screw PC.
We do a whole show mercilessly skewering Arabs.
You want to talk about psychically satisfying?
Okay.
You like it?
No.
Why not?
Well,for one thing, Arabs aren't from Afghanistan, Afghans are, and it looks like the F 16s are doing a perfectly good job skewering them right now.
I don't think they need our comedy backup.
Come on,Mattie,the whole show: uh,Good Morning Cave Dwellers,Judge Mohammed.
One Of My Wives Is Missing.
Fatah Knows Best.
72 Virgin Party Chat Line, The Flogging Show,uh,Let's All Rape.
It's what we want to see right now.
Listen,some of those ideas are good, Luke,and we all know that rape is funny.
I didn't mean...
This is new territory for me.
PC or not,I can think of plenty of jokes that are funny.
I just can't think of any that aren't in bad taste.
So let's just take a breath and figure out what our season premiere is.
Where have you been?
Sorry,I'm late.
And where were you yesterday?
Oh,yeah.
What happened at the Emmys?
Did we win?
What happened at the...
?
They were canceled again.
Where have you been and why are you almost smiling?
'Cause I'm a father.
Just got the baby Saturday night.
Millicent Jean McAnuff.
All right.
Hey.
What's going on?
Uh,nothing funny this week.
I mean with this cigar.
Eddie McAnuff's wife had a baby.
Do I know Andy McAnuff?
Nice guy.
Never smiles.
Oh,yeah.
Except today.
It was nice.
He was at the hospital all weekend.
He didn't know anything.
It was like a miracle 15 seconds of accidental normal.
So,what's your problem?
That's a conversation starter where you're from?
You came out of there muttering that "Nothing's funny this week. "
Nothing is funny this week.
None of the pitches were good?
No,there were some from your boyfriend that I'm pretty sure would incite lynching.
You know what your problem is?
No,but please,please tell me.
You can't make fun of George Bush.
I don't want to.
You're dying to.
No,I'm,I'm not.
I'm really not.
It's killing you that Americans are united behind the President.
It isn't.
I'm one of them.
And you can't make fun of Christians,either.
No Bush,no Christians.
What will he do?
Why can't I make fun of Christians?
'Cause we're the good guys and even you know it.
All right,you and Luke need to go to a library or something,take a class, 'cause Luke thinks Afghanistan is an Arab country and you think it was the Christians that were attacked on September 11.
As soon as the war's over, which I expect will be in about 15 minutes, I'm sure there won't be a lack of material coming from either the President or Christians.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna tell Wes that there's nothing funny this week.
Hi.
Hi.
Let me ask you something.
What's the strangest reason anyone's ever given you for breaking a date?
What?
I think it's funny you think anyone's ever broken a date with me.
Something's happened here.
I know.
Right now I gotta write an introduction for the West Coast feed.
I want to put something in your ear.
What?
My friend has offices around the world including Latin America where kidnapping's an industry.
We consult on K&R insurance.
That's "kidnap and ransom. "
Companies take out insurance on their employees getting kidnapped?
Absolutely.
That's where they get the ransom money.
How does the ransom money get to the kidnappers?
There's a company you've never heard of called Trask Security.
We use them in Colombia,but they're well- Who are they?
Former CIA,former Special Ops, former KGB,Secret Service.
They deal with the locals.
Deal with them how?
They bring a bag of money and they get the guy back.
Well,this isn't a kidnapping.
Yeah,I doubt it'd work in this case.
but I wanted to mention it.
They're not asking for money.
Nobody's offered any yet,either.
Is this legal?
A lot of it.
I got to write this thing now.
Okay.
Just for the sake of whatever, would you be able to make a couple of phone calls and find out more?
Yeah.
I got to write this a minute.
You know,it wouldn't be cheap.
Just out of curiosity.
Got a million dollars cash?
Yeah.
Okay,well,then when this is over, we're definitely going out.
It's Mary.
I want to talk to Casey in London.
See,it all works out.
Okay.
That was Jack.
I know.
Maybe no more phone calls right now.
The toothpaste is out of the tube with Tom.
He wants to know if you want to say something at the top of the West Coast feed.
We do.
Matt's working on it.
What were you trying to tell me at the party?
About what?
About the ratings issue.
We're really gonna fight about ratings right now?
It's not like there's anything else to do.
What were you trying to tell me at the party?
Jordan...
Hey,I'm the one who's...
Sure.
So we'll talk about what I want to talk about this one time.
It's not like the other times.
Really?
Now?
You want to argue with me now?
No.
Well,then argue with me if I'm asking you to.
What were you trying to tell me at the party?
I wasn't trying to tell you anything, I was trying to not tell you things.
About Matt and Harriet?
About nothing.
Is Matt gonna be unable to write every time Harriet breaks up with him to go out with Luke Scott?
He turns it around by himself,honey,don't worry about it.
He turns it around.
He always does.
Just like that baby's gonna do.
We're gonna revisit this ratings issue.
Oh,good,can we?
By the way, it's not like Tom's brother being a hostage is gonna make us all funnier over there this week.
It's the fourth day of Operation Enduring Freedom British and U.
S.
Naval forces...
You know what you're getting Andy?
Hmm?
You know what you're getting Andy for a baby present?
What the hell are you talking about?
Andy and his wife had a baby Saturday.
Who's Andy?
On the writing staff.
I really don't like to get involved,you know.
With the ink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,he and his wife had a baby right in the middle of everything, a little girl named Millicent.
That's a nice name.
Yeah,Millie.
She's the girl next door.
Yeah,or a waitress in a diner.
You're not going to ruin this for me.
Ruin what?
He was unaware of anything that was going on 'cause he'd been at the hospital.
And he justcame in the room...
Who are we talking about?
Andy.
He just came in and he changed the temperature of the room.
between the towers and the bombing and Luke hunting for Arabs while he's not sleeping with my ex-girlfriend, little Millicent saved my whole world.
And what are you getting her for that?
The pink short sleeved tennis dress with the matching bloomers.
That's nice.
Yeah,and the moon and stars nightlight.
Oh.
Let's go.
Thanks for seeing us,Jack.
Ordinarily it would be Wes who would be here...
How is he?
They don't want him to get out of bed yet.
They have any idea what might have caused it?
They don't.
Maybe it had something to do with the three packs of cigarettes a day he's smoked According to tobacco companies,no.
You're a funny guy,Danny.
Thanks.
I'm Matt,he's Danny.
Sorry.
Ordinarily,Wes would be here and ordinarily he'd be talking to the network president, but you keep firing them.
So what can I do for you?
We want to postpone the season premiere.
We don't think we should come on on Friday.
No choice.
Really?
24 hours news coverage is expensive.
No commercials means no revenue.
No programming means no platform to promote the fall season.
We're bleeding money.
We're not indifferent to that.
We've gotta get business.
But we're a comedy show.
We don't want to be inappropriate.
Oh,you're not.
You can serve your country.
You know what would piss off the Taliban most right now?
Defeat?
Again,Danny,you're a funny guy.
And,again,he's Danny.
A bunch of Jews entertaining America.
See...
but I think that's gonna piss off Americans,too.
Go back to work.
It's not like these guys aren't shooting back.
U.
S.
troops are in danger.
It's hard to know what's funny right now.
I appreciate your problem,but nonetheless...
The new cast member,Tom Jeter?
His younger brother joined the Air Force on September 12.
It's hard to ask Tom...
Well,come on,if he joined the Air Force on September 12,then he's going to be in basic training till this thing is finished.
He's gonna be stationed in Bermuda.
Jack...
The show's not gonna be good this week.
It can't be.
It doesn't have to be good,it just has to be on.
And...
no taking shots at America.
I don't want to,that's the point.
Good.
Jack.
Danny.
It's Matt.
Wes Mendell is recovering from a heart attack,which means you two are in charge of the most valuable property this network has ever owned.
You don't think I know your damn names?
Well,it seemed like you didn't.
And I know your politics and I share them, except for the looney,irrational stuff.
You don't take shots at Bush, you don't take shots at America, feel free to make fun of Hollywood.
Hollywood is in America.
No,it is not.
Then nobody'll mind if I stop giving back 37% of my paycheck.
I'm sorry.
I know the conditions are difficult, but we've got to pick ourselves up off the mat, and I'm trusting you both.
All right.
Thanks.
Well,the kid,the brother,he signed up on September 12?
You believe it?
This thing's gonna be over by dinner.
Hey,what do you know?
They've lost the battle to keep Tom's name out of it.
All right,I want you to hear something 'cause it sounds crazy to me, but I want to make sure it sounds crazy to everybody else before I let it go.
This is Mary Tate.
Her law firm is representing the network in the Karen Salisbirk suit.
She was just telling me...
Who were you on the phone with?
Pakistan.
This is Cal Shanley.
He's our director,you can speak feely in front of him.
Mary Tate.
-Hi.
I was just telling him about how your firm works internationally with Trask Security.
K & R?
Yeah.
Mostly in Latin America though,right?
They've had a field office in Islamabad since the war started.
What's their take?
Well,they're not gonna say much without Tom on the phone.
I'm not putting anything into Tom's ear till I hear a lot more, because right now this is sounding like a TV movie.
Ms.
Tate...
Mary.
What are the guys at Trask saying?
They have teams in Kandahar working private security.
They know about the abduction and they've worked a couple this year.
They think it's the same militia that attacked a jingle truck bringing medical supplies to Musa Qala a few months ago.
What happened to those guys?
They kidnapped the driver who was a Turkmenistan national, an Italian aid worker and a French contractor.
What did Trask do?
They sprung the Italian for some money, but the French contractor got killed.
And the driver?
Killed.
Before or after the money was delivered?
After.
After.
Yeah.
Why kidnap airmen?
They know the military's not gonna negotiate.
That's why they don't think there's much chance of a money exchange in this case.
All right,I want to know how exactly this works.
I want to know how dangerous it is and I want to know their success vs.
catastrophic failure rate.
They're not gonna talk about any of that with anyone but Tom or his parents.
But with their expenses,their fees, a militia that's retaken half the country and the size of the ransom now that they know who Mark's brother is, it's gonna be a lot more than a million dollars.
Probably closer to ten.
You know someone who can get their hands on that kind of cash?
We need to find Jack Rudolph.
What about booking more country acts?
Why the hell hasn't Goldstein called me back?
Danny?
Yeah.
The musical guests, how about booking more country acts?
Are we really talking about this?
And younger guest hosts.
Tonight's was Jenna Fisher.
She's like 15.
Maybe if we'd put a cowboy hat on her head.
You know what we could do?
Your own network research says that the number one audience manipulator among women is a pregnancy in jeopardy.
How 'bout if...
God.
You all right?
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Nurse!
It's okay.
Something's wrong.
It's okay.
Nurse!
It's okay.
What's the problem?
What's happening?
She's nauseated.
Is the baby choking?
No.
Are you having headaches?
Yes.
You are?
How long?
You mean how long do they last?
How long have you been having them?
Still 180/110.
Aah!
Get me magnesium sulfate.
Talk to me.
She's showing signs of preeclampsia.
What does that mean?
She could start having seizures.
Holy God.
The magnesium sulfate's gonna take care of that.
Are the drugs gonna hurt the baby?
Hang on.
No.
She's gotta have it now.
There isn't someone more senior here that we could...
No.
Then I think we'll wait until...
Danny,she's gotta have this.
It's not a high tech drug, it's magnesium sulfate, it's been around for a hundred years.
I'm gonna stick this in her IV, it's gonna reduce the electrical activity in her body.
If I don't and she has a seizure, then the cord's gonna be the least of our problems.
Danny...
Do it,do it.
Do it now.
You and the baby are gonna be fine.
Once she untangles herself from that cord.
Yeah.
I've got two meth overdoses and a knife wound down the hall.
I'll be back.
You'd make a good producer.
It's too much stress for me.
You know this guy?
I'm sorry,Captain?
Do you know this guy?
No.
He's good.
Yeah.
What's the name of this singer?
That's Gran Bel Fisher; he was tonight's musical guest.
He's coming in now, so you'll keep this area clear for me,right?
Yes.
Manny,Reuben, back those folks up,please.
Get them out of the hall,get them inside.
And you understand if there's any press in here, Lieutenant Pierce is gonna have to shoot them.
Sure.
I'm kidding.
Hey,Tom,Tom.
Hey,Tom,Tom.
It's okay,George.
Tom Jeter?
Yes,sir.
I'm Captain David Boyle.
I'm Mark's commanding officer at Nellis Air Force Base.
This is Lieutenant Jim Pierce.
He's our chaplain.
Is this protocol?
I'm sorry?
This visit.
There are two other guys, and they've got families.
Are Valdez and Smith getting this treatment?
Yeah,there's...
I can assure you that the families of the other two men...
It's protocol,Tom.
Thank you.
Tom.
Hey.
We kept the party going so news wouldn't get out that it's your brother.
It's out.
Yeah,I know.
That's I wrote an introduction for Harriet to go live for the West Coast feed, just...
saying what happened and offering our prayers.
I figured since no one's watching the show anymore anyway...
Hey.
There's no way this ends bad.
There's no way.
It's not that kind of story,okay?
Okay.
You all have my office,which is upstairs.
So follow me.
Where's Simon?
Meeting my parents at the airport.
Tom?
Yeah?
What's the name of that singer?
What?
Who's that singer on the TV?
What does it matter?
You were onstage with him two hours ago,Tom.
Can you remember his name?
Am I being tested?
Captain Boyle just wants to gauge the level of your trauma.
The level...
?
I'm fine, I don't have a knife at my throat.
Has anyone been in touch with him?
Why don't we wait until we're inside?
Has anyone been in touch with him?
Tom...
Yes or no?
I don't believe this!
Gran Bel Fisher.
What?
The name of the singer.
All right.
Has anyone been...
?
There was some communication with the regiment about an hour and ten minutes before the incident.
Mark was a part of a Provisional Reconstruction Team...
I know what he was doing, and I don't care if there was communication before.
What I'm asking you...
You do care if there was communication before because it helps us with the location...
All right.
Yeah.
You're right.
Do you have the location?
We can't tell you that.
I'm not asking where the location is.
I'm asking if you have it.
We can't tell you that,Tom.
Tommy.
I messed up your control room.
Come here.
Nobody's going anywhere tonight.
We're all right here.
Thanks.
Is Harriet around?
She went out dancing.
She's downstairs praying her ass off.
All right.
Matt?
Matt?
Jack,we need to speak to you a minute.
Is there a rescue mission underway?
Tom,every single thing we do right now is for the sake of the safety of Valdez, Smith and Staff Sergeant Jeter, including not telling you anything.
How bad is it that they know I'm his brother?
I could have lived without that.
I did a sketch tonight.
I know.
the Thin Skinned Prophet. "
I know.
Could have lived without that,too.
Due respect,Captain, I don't think comedy's what got him in trouble tonight.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes,sir,I do.
Want a drink?
No.
I'll help myself.
Leader of another country or something like that.
Tell him about the success rate.
There were 411 incidents in 2006.
Trask handled 88 of them.
57 captives were returned safely.
15 transactions failed before money changed hands,and 18 after.
Compared to the military?
You can't compare.
Hang on.
Trask doesn't have any hard figures, That's 'cause they're secret.
But they estimate the military's only been successful three out of 50 times since 2001.
Yeah.
They make those estimates because they're selling something.
They're selling that they get people out.
Civilians,Matty.
That's why you can't compare the numbers.
He's right.
Mary,has Trask ever handled the kidnapping of an American soldier?
All right,guys,look.
He's not kidnapped.
He's in uniform.
He's a prisoner of war.
He's not.
Mary...
He's a hostage.
They're making demands.
They're willing to release them under conditions.
Yes.
That the U.
S.
Army surrenders.
These guys know how to make a counteroffer.
And I'm sure the money we give them is never going to go towards capturing or killing other U.
S.
soldiers.
The money's never going to be used to make bombs.
They're just going to spend it on science textbooks and milk.
Mary,get your people on the phone with me.
Jack...
I just want to talk to them!
Yeah.
Okay.
Hi,you.
Dave got a couple of Air Force officers with Tom now.
I love you.
I'm glad about that.
Thank you for coming after me.
You came after me.
Uh uh.
I did not.
I had given up.
Then you stuck a note under my watch.
It said,"I'm crazy about you. "
How fast did you come running?
No,I was just being polite.
Jordan?
Yeah?
We got the labs back, and they're confirming preeclampsia.
We're going to get an O.
R.
prepped for surgery.
What kind of surgery?
We're going to deliver the baby.
Wait.
She's only 37 weeks.
Heart rate's 68.
It's dropping.
We want to do this now.
Books say that the last couple of weeks are important for respiratory development.
The risk of asthma's got to be low on our list of priorities right now.
She could suffer brain damage,and so could Jordan.
A specialist is on her way,and we're paging her doctor, but we're going to need you to sign some forms.
And in a few minutes,we're going to prep you.
Okay.
It's all going to be over soon.
It's all going to be over soon?
Those are the encouraging words they give you when you're...
Marry me.
What?
Will you marry me?
What?
I want you to be engaged to be married to me before you go in there.
Biology is just biology.
I want you to be my wife.
I want this to be my family forever ,no matter what happens.
Honey,I love you for saying that, but you can't just suddenly decide...
I didn't just suddenly decide.
You're proposing in an emergency room.
You haven't had time to think this through.
Oh,my God.
Will you marry me?
How long have you been carrying that around in your pocket?
A couple of weeks.
See?
And you were undecided, and now that I'm in the hospital...
I was not not undecided.
I didn't know if you were going to say yes.
That's the risk you run!
Jordan...
Are you incapable of doing anything in a normal way?
!
Well,you make it pretty hard.
Jordan...
Yeah.
It'll be a great story to tell our kid.
I wouldn't mind knowing something about the color and the clarity...
It's a three carat diamond with "F" clarity.
Yes.
What?
God,yes.
Are you kidding me?
* Have a little faith in me Yes.
yes Give me the ring.
* When the tears you cry Did it ever occur to you to check my ring size?
His parents called me they haven't heard from his brother in about 48 hours.
I can't feel the baby kick.
What does that mean?
I haven't felt her kick all day, and if I drink orange juice,usually I can get her to...
Three American soldiers were ambushed in their truck on a road in Paktika,Afghanistan.
One of them is Mark Jeter.
These things turn out okay.
Drive Jordan to Cedars Sanai emergency room.
She'll tell you why on the way.
What do you want to do now?
k&r Is it the ratings?
Too early.
We're not even up on the West Coast yet.
Then are we just being summarily fired?
Is everybody here?
No,we're missing Tom and Simon.
Hang on a second, hang on.
Yeah,listen,uh...
You guys are scaring the hell out of everybody.
All right.
About,uh,20 minutes ago, we found out- it's on the news- we found out that Tom's brother was one of three airmen captured on a road out of Kandahar.
There's videos, there are hostage demands.
Where's Tom?
Jack took him over to NBS, so we're gonna shut down the party.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Why?
'Cause right now the news isn't reporting one of them's the brother of a celebrity.
The longer we can wait for that word...
He's right.
Yeah.
A All right.
Yeah.
Uh,let the party be a party.
Nobody says anything.
I want to talk to Tom.
Soon as he's done getting some answers.
The video message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on al Jazeera television ,and has since been rebroadcast on all the major news channels.
Forensics experts...
Tom.
Yeah?
Your friend Simon Stiles is making a lot of noise out there.
He's my friend.
Can he come in here?
This is just for family.
He's family.
When did it happen?
22 hours ago.
We're just reporting it now?
We just found out about it when al Jazeera put up the tape.
CentCom knew about it before the tape?
Jack...
we can deal with that another time.
Your brother and two others were transporting fuel from Kandahar to the village of Golam Kot.
His truck was ambushed.
By Taliban fighters?
Yeah.
And we know the tape is legitimate?
DOD's verified the identification of all three soldiers.
They're makingthree demands.
Airmen.
I'm sorry?
They're not soldiers.
They're in the United States Air Force they're airmen.
I'm sorry,son.
Airmen.
They're making three demands.
Yeah.
All U.
S.
and U.
N.
forces leave the province of Paktika, Afghanistan.
No problem.
And the U.
S.
will agree to no longer build women's...
Oh,my God.
Damn!
...
including Mark Jeter, younger brother of Tom Jeter.
Are they out of their minds?
Jack.
Howard,they're gonna shut their friggin' mouths right now.
Set up a conference call right now with every...
The show completed its live East Coast broadcast less than 40 minutes ago.
How many hours has it been since you felt your baby move?
At least six.
I've been drinking orange juice.
And when was the last time you saw your ob gyn?
Uh,two weeks ago.
Everything checked out?
Yeah.
What do you think is wrong?
Probably nothing.
Diabetes?
No.
Allergies?
Shellfish.
Doctor?
Have you ever terminated a pregnancy?
Jordan?
Yes.
In 1999.
Would that have...
Were there any complications?
Doctor?
No.
Yeah?
Her blood pressure.
Take it again.
I took it three times.
What's wrong?
Your blood pressure's 180/110.
What does that mean?
Eh,something's going on.
Let's get you to a sonogram machine.
Can you think of any reason why your blood pressure would be so high?
I'm a president of a network,we're having ratings problems, I'm having a fight with my yfriend, who's the sweetest man in the world, and the little brother of a cast member of mine has been taken hostage in Afghanistan.
Wow.
Do you have anyone that you can call family or friends?
Danny Tripp.
Is that the father?
No,but he wants to be.
Damn it.
What?
Local news let it out it's Tom's brother.
Jack's trying to shut them down.
These guys have been beaten up.
This one's got an ax in his hand.
Hey,just cool it.
Danny.
Not now.
It's Jordan.
What are they saying?
I'm coming.
Where's he going?
Jordan's at the emergency room.
Why is she at the emergency room?
Uh,she hasn't felt the baby kick in a while.
All right.
Almighty God...
=The Last Fantasy= Proudly Presents Sync:��ɽͯ�� -=www.eastgame.net=- ********* Hi.
Um...
I just spoke to Tom.
And?
Well...
How is he?
- He's all right- there's a procedure where a commander and a chaplain and a casualty officer come to the...
family and wait with them.
Does he know anything at all yet?
Mark's got a couple of things working in his favor.
He's a captured soldier rather than a civilian hostage.
As a captured soldier,he's got the power of the U.
S.
armed forces working towards his rescue.
Are they trying to rescue him?
Is that something...
They're not gonna tell Tom or anybody else.
What's the other thing working in his favor?
He's not Jewish.
Wow.
So if it was you over there instead of Mark...
They'd be FedExing my head to my parents right now.
Well,if it absolutely,positively has to be there overnight.
We shouldn't be laughing.
Well,crying doesn't do any good.
Didn't we have this fight once before?
Haven't we had every fight at least once before?
Seriously,I remember this one.
But we were on the other side.
It was the day the war started in Afghanistan.
No,it was the day of the Emmys.
It was the day the war started.
No,they were the same day; they postponed the Emmys till October 'cause of 9/11.
Yeah.
And we all met here and were getting drunk before we got into the car and went to the Shrine.
And you were all fuhtutzed because...
Why?
I don't know,maybe it had something to do with being attacked by terrorists four weeks earlier?
No.
It was because you couldn't tie your tie.
Does anybody know how to tie a bow tie?
Anybody?
Excuse me,you want to stop kissing my ex girlfriend for a second?
Sorry.
Either of you know how to tie a bow tie?
Mine's a clip- on.
- I can do it.
You want some more champagne?
Yes.
Okay.
Come here.
Why didn't you just get a clip on?
'Cause I'm from the East.
What does that mean?
It means a lot.
But you don't know how to tie it, I work in a building with 14 professional wardrobe mistresses.
I figured it wouldn't be a problem.
Here, face me.
No.
Wait.
Turn around- let me stand in back of you.
No,face me.
Harry...
Calm down.
Do I seem tense?
Hey!
Champagne cork.
Oh,wait,I know why you're nervous.
I'm not nervous.
You're accepting if we win?
Wes had Danny and I flip a coin.
You'll be great.
We're not gonna win.
And we shouldn't be going anyway.
Let me start this again.
Do you know what you're doing?
Yes.
Really?
You think it's too early?
I think it's too early for an awards show, I think it's too early for us to be going on the air Friday night, and I really think it's too early for you to be making out with Luke in the hallway.
You broke up with me.
The two times before that, you broke up with me.
The time before that,I broke up with you, and the time before that,you just hit me in the face with a socket wrench.
Well,you seem to be recovering nicely with Miss Hawaiian Tropic.
She's a smart girl.
Is that right?
Well,she doesn't think Adam and Eve rode on a dinosaur through the Garden of Eden.
Mm...
Matt?
Yeah?
I'm bored.
Are we going to the InStyle after party?
Uh,yes,yes,we are.
We have to...
wait for it to start.
Well,when does it start?
After.
The awards.
Why don't you get some more champagne.
Lots more.
Shut up!
I'll be right there.
Okay.
Okay. "
Matt...
I'm bored. "
Harriet,Matt got promoted to co exec instead of me, and now he's my boss,so to piss him off I'm gonna take you to the Emmys.
You think Luke is back with me to make you mad?
Mm,yes.
Sure,why would anyone do anything except to bother you?
Music stopped.
This isn't quite right.
Yeah.
Could you just staple it or something, or shove it in your mouth?
It's way too early for any of this.
I can't think of what kinds of jokes to write while steel is still smoldering in downtown Manhattan.
I don't care about the coin toss you're accepting tonight if we win.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
I think they're gonna cancel it again.
Why?
The war just started.
Hey,uh,I'm looking for Jordan McDeere.
She's a pregnant woman,very pretty.
She's gonna be fine.
She's down the hall,second door on the right.
Second door on the right.
Thanks.
What's going on?
I was hoping you could tell me.
There isn't a TV in here, and nobody knows anything about Tom's brother.
What's going on with you?
It's nothing.
We're in an emergency room!
They did a sonogram, and the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck.
What?
But it's okay.
The baby's choking?
- It's okay - it's not unusual.
How we doing?
What's going on?
Are you Daniel Tripp?
Yes.
Okay,the baby's having decelerations.
His heart rate should be 120 to 180 beats per minute.
Her heart rate.
It's a girl.
Excuse me.
Her heart rate is only 80 beats per minute.
But the the...
cord is wrapped around her neck?
Yeah.
That's what's causing the deceleration.
So what do we do about that?
Nothing.
We just monitor the situation.
The baby's choking.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit?
!
Danny!
And Jordan's blood pressure is very high,so shouting isn't gonna help.
So we just wait?
Yeah.
The baby's gonna untangle himself.
Herself.
It's okay.
How old are you?
I'll be 29 tomorrow.
Oh!
Congratulations,but,um...
I'm gonna call a real doctor.
Well...
Honey...
if I wasn't,they wouldn't let me work here.
What's your...
what's your specialty gonna be?
Sports medicine.
Okay,well,if she tears a hamstring, we'll give you a call in the meantime, I'd like someone who built their beach house in Malibu with the babies they've delivered.
Suit yourself.
You can't just reach in there and untangle it?
Danny...
Billy Crystal did it in City Slickers.
It was a cow!
I'll keep checking on you.
What's happening with Tom?
Hang on one second.
Hey,it's me.
Call Ted Goldstein.
Tell him it's an emergency.
Tell him to call me right away.
Thanks.
How's Tom?
He's scared to death.
If it's at all possible,they shouldn't broadcast that it's the brother of a celebrity.
Somebody already did.
Jack's trying to shut it down.
Are you in pain?
No.
Then why's your blood pressure high?
God,I don't know.
Let's try and think.
Hey,it's up on your air right now.
I'm looking at it.
Get it down.
Yeah,I'm looking at it,Phil.
Get it down now.
You got his,you got his picture mortised, you got it chyroned...
Get it down!
You got B rollof him wa on the red carpet.
You got a a screen grab of him with Lindsay Lohan.
It doesn't matter!
Get it down now!
Get it down.
You'll see what you can do?
What are you...
?
Here.
It's not hard.
You press a button.
You go to commercial and you beat the crap out of whoever's exec producing this thing before I do it for ya!
You're gonna get this guy's ass dragged through the street!
The message first aired approximately 40 minutes ago on Al Jazeera television and has since been re- broadcast on all the major news channels.
Forensics experts in both the CIA and...
Yeah?
Yeah,see what you can do.
Well,the consensus seems to be since it's out there already,it's out there.
Aah,that's such crap,Howard.
Nicholas Berg,Danny Pearl,we managed to keep a lid on the things we needed to shut up about.
This is 'cause they found a way to make the war fun again.
Excuse me,Tom.
There are three of them.
I'm sorry?
It says,it just says,"Brother of Jeter held hostage. "
Corey Smith and Herman Valdez, they have brothers,too.
I know.
I've met them.
Yeah,I know,I know.
...
Is there any point to this?
Yeah,yeah,they have it.
They have it.
...
reports of a Taliban retreat are circulating...
All right,tell me something that I've always wanted to know.
Why isn't there 24 hour CIA surveillance of every employee of Al Jazeera?
Somebody's getting these tapes handed to them.
You,you can't make a home movie and then broadcast it on MBS without our knowing how it got there.
I've got a different question.
What?
Didn't we win this war once already?
Oh!
Oh!
It's a rout,baby!
Sit down!
In 24 hours, we knocked down the airport in Kandahar, eviscerated Taliban command and control, had 50 out of 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles hit their targets, including the one that blew up Mullah Omar's compound.
Everybody sit down!
We wiped out their air defenses.
These guys are gonna see what a B 1 bomber looks like up close.
Oh,please,it's such a load.
Excuse me?
It's a load.
Can we not...
?
The fact we got attacked or the fact that we're fighting back?
It's about oil.
It's always about oil.
We invade, it shuts production in Afghanistan, gas prices go through the roof.
Oh,Lord.
You disagree?
Yes!
And it's not just because there's no oil in Afghanistan.
We made five perfectly reasonable demands like shutting down their terrorist camps and handing over Osama,none of which were met, so it looks like we're doing it ourselves.
Thank you.
And I don't think it's gonna be psychically satisfyingas you th Afghanistan after you bomb it looks pretty much the same as Afghanistan before it gets bombed, but that's not our problem right now.
What is?
How do we do a show Friday night?
What are we supposed to joke about?
Them.
Who?
The bad guys.
Screw PC.
We do a whole show mercilessly skewering Arabs.
You want to talk about psychically satisfying?
Okay.
You like it?
No.
Why not?
Well,for one thing, Arabs aren't from Afghanistan, Afghans are, and it looks like the F 16s are doing a perfectly good job skewering them right now.
I don't think they need our comedy backup.
Come on,Mattie,the whole show: uh,Good Morning Cave Dwellers,Judge Mohammed.
One Of My Wives Is Missing.
Fatah Knows Best.
72 Virgin Party Chat Line, The Flogging Show,uh,Let's All Rape.
It's what we want to see right now.
Listen,some of those ideas are good, Luke,and we all know that rape is funny.
I didn't mean...
This is new territory for me.
PC or not,I can think of plenty of jokes that are funny.
I just can't think of any that aren't in bad taste.
So let's just take a breath and figure out what our season premiere is.
Where have you been?
Sorry,I'm late.
And where were you yesterday?
Oh,yeah.
What happened at the Emmys?
Did we win?
What happened at the...
?
They were canceled again.
Where have you been and why are you almost smiling?
'Cause I'm a father.
Just got the baby Saturday night.
Millicent Jean McAnuff.
All right.
Hey.
What's going on?
Uh,nothing funny this week.
I mean with this cigar.
Eddie McAnuff's wife had a baby.
Do I know Andy McAnuff?
Nice guy.
Never smiles.
Oh,yeah.
Except today.
It was nice.
He was at the hospital all weekend.
He didn't know anything.
It was like a miracle 15 seconds of accidental normal.
So,what's your problem?
That's a conversation starter where you're from?
You came out of there muttering that "Nothing's funny this week. "
Nothing is funny this week.
None of the pitches were good?
No,there were some from your boyfriend that I'm pretty sure would incite lynching.
You know what your problem is?
No,but please,please tell me.
You can't make fun of George Bush.
I don't want to.
You're dying to.
No,I'm,I'm not.
I'm really not.
It's killing you that Americans are united behind the President.
It isn't.
I'm one of them.
And you can't make fun of Christians,either.
No Bush,no Christians.
What will he do?
Why can't I make fun of Christians?
'Cause we're the good guys and even you know it.
All right,you and Luke need to go to a library or something,take a class, 'cause Luke thinks Afghanistan is an Arab country and you think it was the Christians that were attacked on September 11.
As soon as the war's over, which I expect will be in about 15 minutes, I'm sure there won't be a lack of material coming from either the President or Christians.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna tell Wes that there's nothing funny this week.
Hi.
Hi.
Let me ask you something.
What's the strangest reason anyone's ever given you for breaking a date?
What?
I think it's funny you think anyone's ever broken a date with me.
Something's happened here.
I know.
Right now I gotta write an introduction for the West Coast feed.
I want to put something in your ear.
What?
My friend has offices around the world including Latin America where kidnapping's an industry.
We consult on K&R insurance.
That's "kidnap and ransom. "
Companies take out insurance on their employees getting kidnapped?
Absolutely.
That's where they get the ransom money.
How does the ransom money get to the kidnappers?
There's a company you've never heard of called Trask Security.
We use them in Colombia,but they're well- Who are they?
Former CIA,former Special Ops, former KGB,Secret Service.
They deal with the locals.
Deal with them how?
They bring a bag of money and they get the guy back.
Well,this isn't a kidnapping.
Yeah,I doubt it'd work in this case.
but I wanted to mention it.
They're not asking for money.
Nobody's offered any yet,either.
Is this legal?
A lot of it.
I got to write this thing now.
Okay.
Just for the sake of whatever, would you be able to make a couple of phone calls and find out more?
Yeah.
I got to write this a minute.
You know,it wouldn't be cheap.
Just out of curiosity.
Got a million dollars cash?
Yeah.
Okay,well,then when this is over, we're definitely going out.
It's Mary.
I want to talk to Casey in London.
See,it all works out.
Okay.
That was Jack.
I know.
Maybe no more phone calls right now.
The toothpaste is out of the tube with Tom.
He wants to know if you want to say something at the top of the West Coast feed.
We do.
Matt's working on it.
What were you trying to tell me at the party?
About what?
About the ratings issue.
We're really gonna fight about ratings right now?
It's not like there's anything else to do.
What were you trying to tell me at the party?
Jordan...
Hey,I'm the one who's...
Sure.
So we'll talk about what I want to talk about this one time.
It's not like the other times.
Really?
Now?
You want to argue with me now?
No.
Well,then argue with me if I'm asking you to.
What were you trying to tell me at the party?
I wasn't trying to tell you anything, I was trying to not tell you things.
About Matt and Harriet?
About nothing.
Is Matt gonna be unable to write every time Harriet breaks up with him to go out with Luke Scott?
He turns it around by himself,honey,don't worry about it.
He turns it around.
He always does.
Just like that baby's gonna do.
We're gonna revisit this ratings issue.
Oh,good,can we?
By the way, it's not like Tom's brother being a hostage is gonna make us all funnier over there this week.
It's the fourth day of Operation Enduring Freedom British and U.
S.
Naval forces...
You know what you're getting Andy?
Hmm?
You know what you're getting Andy for a baby present?
What the hell are you talking about?
Andy and his wife had a baby Saturday.
Who's Andy?
On the writing staff.
I really don't like to get involved,you know.
With the ink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,he and his wife had a baby right in the middle of everything, a little girl named Millicent.
That's a nice name.
Yeah,Millie.
She's the girl next door.
Yeah,or a waitress in a diner.
You're not going to ruin this for me.
Ruin what?
He was unaware of anything that was going on 'cause he'd been at the hospital.
And he justcame in the room...
Who are we talking about?
Andy.
He just came in and he changed the temperature of the room.
between the towers and the bombing and Luke hunting for Arabs while he's not sleeping with my ex-girlfriend, little Millicent saved my whole world.
And what are you getting her for that?
The pink short sleeved tennis dress with the matching bloomers.
That's nice.
Yeah,and the moon and stars nightlight.
Oh.
Let's go.
Thanks for seeing us,Jack.
Ordinarily it would be Wes who would be here...
How is he?
They don't want him to get out of bed yet.
They have any idea what might have caused it?
They don't.
Maybe it had something to do with the three packs of cigarettes a day he's smoked According to tobacco companies,no.
You're a funny guy,Danny.
Thanks.
I'm Matt,he's Danny.
Sorry.
Ordinarily,Wes would be here and ordinarily he'd be talking to the network president, but you keep firing them.
So what can I do for you?
We want to postpone the season premiere.
We don't think we should come on on Friday.
No choice.
Really?
24 hours news coverage is expensive.
No commercials means no revenue.
No programming means no platform to promote the fall season.
We're bleeding money.
We're not indifferent to that.
We've gotta get business.
But we're a comedy show.
We don't want to be inappropriate.
Oh,you're not.
You can serve your country.
You know what would piss off the Taliban most right now?
Defeat?
Again,Danny,you're a funny guy.
And,again,he's Danny.
A bunch of Jews entertaining America.
See...
but I think that's gonna piss off Americans,too.
Go back to work.
It's not like these guys aren't shooting back.
U.
S.
troops are in danger.
It's hard to know what's funny right now.
I appreciate your problem,but nonetheless...
The new cast member,Tom Jeter?
His younger brother joined the Air Force on September 12.
It's hard to ask Tom...
Well,come on,if he joined the Air Force on September 12,then he's going to be in basic training till this thing is finished.
He's gonna be stationed in Bermuda.
Jack...
The show's not gonna be good this week.
It can't be.
It doesn't have to be good,it just has to be on.
And...
no taking shots at America.
I don't want to,that's the point.
Good.
Jack.
Danny.
It's Matt.
Wes Mendell is recovering from a heart attack,which means you two are in charge of the most valuable property this network has ever owned.
You don't think I know your damn names?
Well,it seemed like you didn't.
And I know your politics and I share them, except for the looney,irrational stuff.
You don't take shots at Bush, you don't take shots at America, feel free to make fun of Hollywood.
Hollywood is in America.
No,it is not.
Then nobody'll mind if I stop giving back 37% of my paycheck.
I'm sorry.
I know the conditions are difficult, but we've got to pick ourselves up off the mat, and I'm trusting you both.
All right.
Thanks.
Well,the kid,the brother,he signed up on September 12?
You believe it?
This thing's gonna be over by dinner.
Hey,what do you know?
They've lost the battle to keep Tom's name out of it.
All right,I want you to hear something 'cause it sounds crazy to me, but I want to make sure it sounds crazy to everybody else before I let it go.
This is Mary Tate.
Her law firm is representing the network in the Karen Salisbirk suit.
She was just telling me...
Who were you on the phone with?
Pakistan.
This is Cal Shanley.
He's our director,you can speak feely in front of him.
Mary Tate.
-Hi.
I was just telling him about how your firm works internationally with Trask Security.
K & R?
Yeah.
Mostly in Latin America though,right?
They've had a field office in Islamabad since the war started.
What's their take?
Well,they're not gonna say much without Tom on the phone.
I'm not putting anything into Tom's ear till I hear a lot more, because right now this is sounding like a TV movie.
Ms.
Tate...
Mary.
What are the guys at Trask saying?
They have teams in Kandahar working private security.
They know about the abduction and they've worked a couple this year.
They think it's the same militia that attacked a jingle truck bringing medical supplies to Musa Qala a few months ago.
What happened to those guys?
They kidnapped the driver who was a Turkmenistan national, an Italian aid worker and a French contractor.
What did Trask do?
They sprung the Italian for some money, but the French contractor got killed.
And the driver?
Killed.
Before or after the money was delivered?
After.
After.
Yeah.
Why kidnap airmen?
They know the military's not gonna negotiate.
That's why they don't think there's much chance of a money exchange in this case.
All right,I want to know how exactly this works.
I want to know how dangerous it is and I want to know their success vs.
catastrophic failure rate.
They're not gonna talk about any of that with anyone but Tom or his parents.
But with their expenses,their fees, a militia that's retaken half the country and the size of the ransom now that they know who Mark's brother is, it's gonna be a lot more than a million dollars.
Probably closer to ten.
You know someone who can get their hands on that kind of cash?
We need to find Jack Rudolph.
What about booking more country acts?
Why the hell hasn't Goldstein called me back?
Danny?
Yeah.
The musical guests, how about booking more country acts?
Are we really talking about this?
And younger guest hosts.
Tonight's was Jenna Fisher.
She's like 15.
Maybe if we'd put a cowboy hat on her head.
You know what we could do?
Your own network research says that the number one audience manipulator among women is a pregnancy in jeopardy.
How 'bout if...
God.
You all right?
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Nurse!
It's okay.
Something's wrong.
It's okay.
Nurse!
It's okay.
What's the problem?
What's happening?
She's nauseated.
Is the baby choking?
No.
Are you having headaches?
Yes.
You are?
How long?
You mean how long do they last?
How long have you been having them?
Still 180/110.
Aah!
Get me magnesium sulfate.
Talk to me.
She's showing signs of preeclampsia.
What does that mean?
She could start having seizures.
Holy God.
The magnesium sulfate's gonna take care of that.
Are the drugs gonna hurt the baby?
Hang on.
No.
She's gotta have it now.
There isn't someone more senior here that we could...
No.
Then I think we'll wait until...
Danny,she's gotta have this.
It's not a high tech drug, it's magnesium sulfate, it's been around for a hundred years.
I'm gonna stick this in her IV, it's gonna reduce the electrical activity in her body.
If I don't and she has a seizure, then the cord's gonna be the least of our problems.
Danny...
Do it,do it.
Do it now.
You and the baby are gonna be fine.
Once she untangles herself from that cord.
Yeah.
I've got two meth overdoses and a knife wound down the hall.
I'll be back.
You'd make a good producer.
It's too much stress for me.
You know this guy?
I'm sorry,Captain?
Do you know this guy?
No.
He's good.
Yeah.
What's the name of this singer?
That's Gran Bel Fisher; he was tonight's musical guest.
He's coming in now, so you'll keep this area clear for me,right?
Yes.
Manny,Reuben, back those folks up,please.
Get them out of the hall,get them inside.
And you understand if there's any press in here, Lieutenant Pierce is gonna have to shoot them.
Sure.
I'm kidding.
Hey,Tom,Tom.
Hey,Tom,Tom.
It's okay,George.
Tom Jeter?
Yes,sir.
I'm Captain David Boyle.
I'm Mark's commanding officer at Nellis Air Force Base.
This is Lieutenant Jim Pierce.
He's our chaplain.
Is this protocol?
I'm sorry?
This visit.
There are two other guys, and they've got families.
Are Valdez and Smith getting this treatment?
Yeah,there's...
I can assure you that the families of the other two men...
It's protocol,Tom.
Thank you.
Tom.
Hey.
We kept the party going so news wouldn't get out that it's your brother.
It's out.
Yeah,I know.
That's I wrote an introduction for Harriet to go live for the West Coast feed, just...
saying what happened and offering our prayers.
I figured since no one's watching the show anymore anyway...
Hey.
There's no way this ends bad.
There's no way.
It's not that kind of story,okay?
Okay.
You all have my office,which is upstairs.
So follow me.
Where's Simon?
Meeting my parents at the airport.
Tom?
Yeah?
What's the name of that singer?
What?
Who's that singer on the TV?
What does it matter?
You were onstage with him two hours ago,Tom.
Can you remember his name?
Am I being tested?
Captain Boyle just wants to gauge the level of your trauma.
The level...
?
I'm fine, I don't have a knife at my throat.
Has anyone been in touch with him?
Why don't we wait until we're inside?
Has anyone been in touch with him?
Tom...
Yes or no?
I don't believe this!
Gran Bel Fisher.
What?
The name of the singer.
All right.
Has anyone been...
?
There was some communication with the regiment about an hour and ten minutes before the incident.
Mark was a part of a Provisional Reconstruction Team...
I know what he was doing, and I don't care if there was communication before.
What I'm asking you...
You do care if there was communication before because it helps us with the location...
All right.
Yeah.
You're right.
Do you have the location?
We can't tell you that.
I'm not asking where the location is.
I'm asking if you have it.
We can't tell you that,Tom.
Tommy.
I messed up your control room.
Come here.
Nobody's going anywhere tonight.
We're all right here.
Thanks.
Is Harriet around?
She went out dancing.
She's downstairs praying her ass off.
All right.
Matt?
Matt?
Jack,we need to speak to you a minute.
Is there a rescue mission underway?
Tom,every single thing we do right now is for the sake of the safety of Valdez, Smith and Staff Sergeant Jeter, including not telling you anything.
How bad is it that they know I'm his brother?
I could have lived without that.
I did a sketch tonight.
I know.
the Thin Skinned Prophet. "
I know.
Could have lived without that,too.
Due respect,Captain, I don't think comedy's what got him in trouble tonight.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes,sir,I do.
Want a drink?
No.
I'll help myself.
Leader of another country or something like that.
Tell him about the success rate.
There were 411 incidents in 2006.
Trask handled 88 of them.
57 captives were returned safely.
15 transactions failed before money changed hands,and 18 after.
Compared to the military?
You can't compare.
Hang on.
Trask doesn't have any hard figures, That's 'cause they're secret.
But they estimate the military's only been successful three out of 50 times since 2001.
Yeah.
They make those estimates because they're selling something.
They're selling that they get people out.
Civilians,Matty.
That's why you can't compare the numbers.
He's right.
Mary,has Trask ever handled the kidnapping of an American soldier?
All right,guys,look.
He's not kidnapped.
He's in uniform.
He's a prisoner of war.
He's not.
Mary...
He's a hostage.
They're making demands.
They're willing to release them under conditions.
Yes.
That the U.
S.
Army surrenders.
These guys know how to make a counteroffer.
And I'm sure the money we give them is never going to go towards capturing or killing other U.
S.
soldiers.
The money's never going to be used to make bombs.
They're just going to spend it on science textbooks and milk.
Mary,get your people on the phone with me.
Jack...
I just want to talk to them!
Yeah.
Okay.
Hi,you.
Dave got a couple of Air Force officers with Tom now.
I love you.
I'm glad about that.
Thank you for coming after me.
You came after me.
Uh uh.
I did not.
I had given up.
Then you stuck a note under my watch.
It said,"I'm crazy about you. "
How fast did you come running?
No,I was just being polite.
Jordan?
Yeah?
We got the labs back, and they're confirming preeclampsia.
We're going to get an O.
R.
prepped for surgery.
What kind of surgery?
We're going to deliver the baby.
Wait.
She's only 37 weeks.
Heart rate's 68.
It's dropping.
We want to do this now.
Books say that the last couple of weeks are important for respiratory development.
The risk of asthma's got to be low on our list of priorities right now.
She could suffer brain damage,and so could Jordan.
A specialist is on her way,and we're paging her doctor, but we're going to need you to sign some forms.
And in a few minutes,we're going to prep you.
Okay.
It's all going to be over soon.
It's all going to be over soon?
Those are the encouraging words they give you when you're...
Marry me.
What?
Will you marry me?
What?
I want you to be engaged to be married to me before you go in there.
Biology is just biology.
I want you to be my wife.
I want this to be my family forever ,no matter what happens.
Honey,I love you for saying that, but you can't just suddenly decide...
I didn't just suddenly decide.
You're proposing in an emergency room.
You haven't had time to think this through.
Oh,my God.
Will you marry me?
How long have you been carrying that around in your pocket?
A couple of weeks.
See?
And you were undecided, and now that I'm in the hospital...
I was not not undecided.
I didn't know if you were going to say yes.
That's the risk you run!
Jordan...
Are you incapable of doing anything in a normal way?
!
Well,you make it pretty hard.
Jordan...
Yeah.
It'll be a great story to tell our kid.
I wouldn't mind knowing something about the color and the clarity...
It's a three carat diamond with "F" clarity.
Yes.
What?
God,yes.
Are you kidding me?
* Have a little faith in me Yes.
yes Give me the ring.
* When the tears you cry Did it ever occur to you to check my ring size?