Programma Televisivo: The Simpsons - 35x2
♪ The Simpsons ♪ {\an8}[Muzak playing] {\an8}[worker on PA] Attention, shoppers.
A mother's love is forever {\an8}but Mother's Love Rat Poison is only on sale till the end of the day.
{\an8}Aw.
{\an8}Mommy!
I was waiting by the window.
{\an8}Can I carry the bag with the milks?
{\an8}I'm really strong.
{\an8}[grunts] {\an8}I drew you picture.
{\an8}Yes, she did.
{\an8}She drew it in pudding.
{\an8}[Marge] Oh.
Pretty.
{\an8}But we should clean that up.
{\an8}- No!
[Homer grunting] {\an8}- No, no!
Fine, fine, fine.
{\an8}- No kill Pudding Mommy!
Pudding Mommy can stay.
{\an8}You should've seen her when I ate part of Ketchup Daddy.
{\an8}- [wailing] No!
Look what I got.
{\an8}- [Bart gasps] [Lisa] Ah!
{\an8}- Oh, I love you, love you, love you.
[Lisa grunting] {\an8}Oh, let's play bubbles now.
{\an8}[laughs] {\an8}[both laughing] {\an8}This is a perfect moment.
{\an8}[sobbing] {\an8}Marge, what's wrong?
{\an8}It...
It's slipping away.
{\an8}You need to stop that.
{\an8}W-W-What did you say?
{\an8}Bart!
{\an8}- Whee!
I'm flying!
[Marge grunts] {\an8}Bart!
Bart!
{\an8}What...
What is happening?
[groans] {\an8}No!
[shouts] Ooh!
[groans] Oh, no.
Oh.
He popped.
No, no.
Don't sue me, Dracula!
[groans] Did you say something?
Oh.
I was dreaming about those bubble parties we used to have with the kids.
[Homer] Mmm.
But I was so sad.
Why were you sad?
Because I knew it was gonna end.
[yawns] I get it.
That's why, for me, the last foot of a six-foot party sub...
[Marge groans] ...is bittersweet.
[gasps] Honey, you're drenched.
[groans] It's bubble juice.
Oh, honey, you don't look so good.
I mean, I think you look great, but someone else...
say, a doctor...
might be alarmed at your pale skin that is both hot and cold.
Why did we eat at Tuesday O'Fridayhans last night?
[groans] I had three glasses of frosé.
And a couple Froz-oody Marys.
[chuckles] We got pretty hammered.
Ugh.
And then we bought hot dogs from that sketchy street vendor.
Oh, but they smelled so good.
Wrapped in bacon...
Hmm?
...sizzling in that hubcap.
[gags] [gagging] [retching] [Homer] Mmm.
[groans] [Marge retches] Homer, don't listen.
We have to keep the...
[retches] ...romance alive.
[sighs] I wonder why you didn't get sick.
The clinical term is "I'm all throwed up."
Should we call Dr.
Hibbert?
No.
Oh, no, no, no, I'm-I'm good now.
It's all gone.
I'm all better.
Ooh, Bounce-A-Thon is tomorrow.
I don't think you're gonna make it.
I'll call the school in the morning.
[groans] I have to go.
I volunteered for three jobs on PTA-Martyr.com.
[yawns] Frickin' PTA-Martyr.com.
[snores] [clock ticking] Where is he?
[Bart giggles] Peekaboo.
[gasps] Oh.
[Bart laughs] Where is he?
[ticking continues] Where's my special little guy?
Bart, where are you?
[ticking stops] [Bart whispering] Don't let go.
[whimpers] [footsteps] [Marge] Hmm?
[kindergartners chattering] It's okay.
Oh, your coat.
[Bart chuckling] Bart?
[bell dinging] [laughing] Can somebody help me?
I've lost my little boy.
Bart!
[dinging continues] Oh, no.
I was just about to beat these mutant houseflies at tennis.
What do you want?
I've lost my...
my-my little boy.
[Homer's voice] You know this is a dream, right?
[didgeridoo drones] [droning] Beer.
Well, that would explain a lot.
[Homer's voice] Yeah.
In the waking world, I'm not great at didgeridoo.
Is this one of those dreams where you know you're dreaming?
There's a name for it.
Somebody once told me.
{\an8}I'm the one who told you.
{\an8}That's right.
I'm your inner Lisa.
I remember everything Lisa ever said to you exactly the way you heard it.
Really?
So you can tell me what Lisa said about dreaming when you know you're dreaming?
{\an8}Yep.
It's a scientifical concept called Lucy dreaming.
{\an8}It was invented by sleep doctors from a country somewhere.
Wow.
She's as smart as Old Sheldon.
Since this is your Lucy dream, you control everything that happens.
So I'm the one making Homer an otter?
Yes.
He appears in many forms in your dreams.
{\an8}Dad's an otter because yesterday he was lying {\an8}in a kiddie pool eating nachos off his belly.
It's a table that's always with me.
[Lisa] Sometimes Dad's a clown, sometimes a potato, sometimes a clown potato.
And sometimes he's both of the Property Brothers.
[Homer's voice] Why am I these guys?
Ah...
Never mind.
I know why.
[chuckles] But why am I having nightmares about Bart?
Did something happen?
How do I look at recent memories?
It's your Lucy dream.
You decide.
Oh.
So I can decide that all my thoughts from yesterday are stored in, I don't know, the oven?
Sure.
Why not?
[Marge] Hmm.
Hmm?
{\an8}Hmm.
[clicks tongue] Here we go.
[Bart] Mom, come quick!
[Marge] Whoa!
{\an8}I'm here.
I'm here.
Bart, what happened?
{\an8}- Splinter.
Oh.
{\an8}- That's it?
Well, it's kind of bleeding.
Maybe not.
[gasps] When did your hands get so big?
They're bigger than mine.
I don't know.
Maybe I got freaky-big hands.
Tweeze, please.
I guess it's been a while since we held hands.
Ew.
Did you get it?
Mmm.
Thanks.
So that's why you're having nightmares.
Bart is super rude and full of splinters.
Maybe.
Or maybe I'm just sick off hubcap hot dogs.
Why would awake-me eat those?
That doesn't seem like awake-me.
After enough booze slushies, you think you can do anything.
I challenged the valet to an arm wrestle but he turned out to be just a sign.
Why was I drinking frozen wine in a casual dining chain restaurant on a school night?
I don't know.
After our meeting with Bart's teacher, you said you needed a drink.
[Marge] Hmm.
{\an8}Hmm.
Mmm.
Whoa!
[children laughing, echoing] Look, whatever Bart did, we'll pay to have it cleaned or replaced or for its therapy or...
Bart hasn't done anything.
I'm meeting with all the parents, even the normal kids.
[shouts] Bart is normal.
I-I mean, we don't say normal anymore.
I mean, I-I'm talking to all the parents.
You're not special.
I-I mean, you are.
[chuckles] But...
What did you wanna talk about?
As you know, Bounce-A-Thon means we're getting close to the end of the year, so it's a good time to talk about the transition to fifth grade.
You know, last year of elementary school, and then it's on to middle school, then...
Middle school?
[rumbling] Then everything changes.
Girls, acne, drugs, body odor.
[Marge] Hmm?
[Marge groans] Listen, I've taught fifth grade.
Please buy your fifth grader deodorant.
Like, real deodorant, not the "natural" stuff.
They may look like children, but they smell like nervous cab drivers.
The point is, don't freak out.
Okay, about what?
Well, some parents start thinking, "Oh, no, this is the end of my kid's childhood."
[chuckles] But fifth grade isn't the end of Bart's childhood.
Right?
I mean, technically, it is the last year of it.
[chuckles] [gasping] Did you find out what happened to Bart?
It's what's going to happen.
He's going to grow up.
[Homer groans] Damn kid.
It was such a strange dream.
[pen scratching] Bart was four and he was so adorable.
I'd almost forgotten there was a time when Bart was the sweet one and Lisa was the difficult one.
Uh, to be fair, I'm only 18 months old, so to be going through my terrible twos now is actually pretty advanced.
[grunts] Crap, I'm still dreaming.
[gasps] Bounce-A-Thon!
I'm coming too.
[Lisa] Yay!
[Bart] Aren't you sick?
I thought I heard you barfing.
{\an8}No, that wasn't barfing.
{\an8}That was loud, sloshy burps...
{\an8}- [gags, gulps] [both groan] I signed up for snacks, so I have to make marshmallow treat...
[gags] I can do this.
Just have to melt some margar...
[gags] Don't worry.
Super-Dad is already making the marshmallow treats.
Which Krispies did you use?
Rice or Cocoa?
I'm making my own.
The rice is "krispying" as we speak.
Whoa.
[gags] Oh, it smells like you burnt it.
No problem.
I'll moisten it with the last of the eggnog.
[Marge groans, gags] I'm throwing up stuff I ate years ago.
I think I saw wedding cake.
You really should stay home.
[sighs] Maybe you're right.
[groans] This will be the first Bounce-A-Thon I've ever missed.
Oh, missing stuff is the greatest.
When I do stuff, I have a fear of missing out on missing out.
You know, FO-MOO-MO.
Homer, listen, you have to do this for me.
Take a picture of each kid giving a thumbs-up at the finish line.
{\an8}It's for my scrapbook.
I've already made windows for each school year.
[groans] Bart, thumbs-up slowly past Daddy.
Give him time to focus.
Mom, there's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just gonna say it.
At school, I'm becoming known for taking cutting-edge, no-holds-barred comedy photos.
It's true.
I've heard fifth graders say so.
So, w-what are...
what are you saying?
There's no way I can do a thumbs-up at Bounce-A-Thon.
What?
It will ruin the brand I've been building since picture day.
My fans expect me to top inside-out eyelids and Scotch Tape nose.
You don't understand the pressure I'm under.
{\an8}But this is for the Bounce-A-Thon album.
So you'll always remember Bounce-A-Thon.
But...
[sighs] ...I don't even like Bounce-A-Thon.
I'm making fun of Bounce-A-Thon.
{\an8}What?
None of us kids like Bounce-A-Thon.
It's not very cool.
Well, you thought it was cool last year.
Bart, just one thumbs-up, please.
[sighs] I'm sorry, but no.
Crazy pictures is my thing now.
You should respect that this is just how I am this year.
Bart, you sound so mature and grown-up.
[sobbing] I hate that.
[sobs] [snores] [crickets chirping] [creature growls] [Marge gasps] [Homer's voice] Run!
Something's coming!
[Marge gasps] [creature growls] [Marge panting] This is silly.
I don't need symbolism.
[growling] I know what I'm afraid of and it's not a bear.
[bear grunts] Sorry.
[bear grunts, mutters] [sighs] It's not a nightmare.
It's reality.
Bart's growing up.
I should have treasured every time he held my hand, because I don't remember when he stopped.
The poet Khalil LeBron once said, "Parents are bows...
like bow-and-arrow bows"...
[Marge] Hmm.
..."from which children are shot forth as an arrow thingy."
The bow doesn't feel sad when it sees how far and true the arrow flies.
Well, the bow feels a little sad.
The bow doesn't wanna lose touch, and the arrow has never been great about answering texts.
But even after Bart grows up, you'll still have Lisa and Maggie.
Oh, my God.
Lisa and Maggie.
It's going to happen with all of them.
[groans] Oops.
[Marge groans] [rumbling] Bart is just the beginning.
[echoing] One by one...
all my babies will leave the nest.
[echoing] I'm gonna lose all of them.
Honey, we mustn't break awake-you's brain.
Remember those commercials where they show you what depression is like?
A rain cloud follows you everywhere.
You get sucked into sofas.
And when it gets really bad, your windup monkey stops clapping.
[gasps] Look.
Look, Bart's at a playground.
Bart.
Bart, they have your favorite back-and-forth riding thingy.
[muffled] The duck, Bart.
Ride the duck!
[muffled] Bart!
No!
[children chattering] Okay.
Maybe I am being a teensy bit negative.
[Homer's voice] Okay.
A little brain hurricane.
My time as a mom will eventually come to an end.
I'll have to fill my days with a bunch of stupid hobbies.
I don't want an Etsy storefront!
It's not happening now so it's silly to be sad about it now.
It's like going to work on time.
There's no point.
I wanna show you something.
[grunting] [grunting] [Marge] Whoa!
I'm coming too.
[Lisa] Yay!
[Bart] Aren't you sick?
I thought I heard you barfing.
Freeze it right there.
[tape clicks] Now, watch it again.
But this time, look over here.
[tape rewinds] I'm coming too.
Yay!
[singsongy] Mommy's coming.
Yes, she is.
Do-do-do-do-do.
My mom.
Uh-huh!
She's rehearsing her thumbs-up.
Oh.
Oh, I was so sad that Bart had outgrown the Bounce-A-Thon I couldn't see that my sweet Lisa still loves it.
For now.
Next year she'll probably turn on it too.
Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to get out of the dark place, please.
[grunts] You're right.
Bounce-A-Thon still means a lot to Lisa.
So, what are you?
Like, my feelings police?
[chuckling] No, I'm pretty sure I'm here 'cause, deep down, you're attracted to me.
The uniform, the low center of gravity, my thick syrupy voice.
Heh.
I don't think so.
If anything, I'm into Eddie.
Yeah, he's a beautiful man.
I love that Lisa was so happy I was gonna be there.
I should be there for her.
I've got to get to the Bounce-A-Thon before Lisa's childhood slips away.
How could I wake myself up?
Oh, well, this will do it.
[gasps, grunts] Okay.
Looking good.
Feeling good.
[gags] [retches] Even better now.
[pants] I'll be there, Lisa.
I won't miss it.
[radio presenter] ...or a pickle-and-egg sandwich from Joey Mayonnaise's Sandwich Creamery.
[Marge groaning] Where the hospitality is as warm as the mayonnai...
[Marge grunting] [retches] Okay, I ruined the car.
But Mommy's s-still coming, Lisa.
[gasps] Okay, here we go.
Oh, I gotta sign up.
Okay.
Username?
Uh, uh.
Bounce-Mom.
Taken.
Fine.
Uh, Barf-Mom.
Taken, really?
Borf-Mom.
What?
Oh, come on.
Marge.
Oh, that worked.
[retches] [retches] [snores] [shouts, pants] I'm here, Lisa.
[upbeat music playing on speakers] I promised to wear this humorous wig for Bounce-A-Thon if we had 30 lice-free days and, uh, well, we had 29 but I'm just gonna assume that today is gonna go well. "
And on the bounce track right now, the second grade."
[gasps] That's Lisa's class.
[thuds] [microphone feedback] [Principal Skinner grunts] [Marge] Excuse me.
Excuse me, let me through.
I'm here to support my child.
Yeah.
Well, guess what, Princess Blue?
We're all here to support our kids.
So stick that in your G-string and make change.
I'm sorry.
I'm very, very sick, and I just...
Sick?
W-W-What kind of sick?
I don't know.
Some kind of, um, I don't know, pox or plague.
[parents muttering] [Kirk] Oh, boy.
[Marge chuckles] [sniffs, groans] Oh, no.
Food smells.
It's okay.
I'll just hold my breath.
[person 1] Mmm.
[person 2] Churro.
[person 3] Seafood.
[person 4] What are you gonna get?
[person 5] Or should I have sushi?
Must get picture.
[gagging] [Ms.
Peyton, echoing] Mrs.
Simpson?
[Marge, echoing] Huh?
Did...
Did I get the picture?
[grunts] [groaning] No.
Huh?
I took a photo after I passed out?
Yeah.
We had to pry the phone from your hand.
I've been kind of a wreck since our meeting.
You know, when you said Bart's childhood is over.
[gasps] I did not say that.
I would never say that.
Bart's childhood isn't over.
I did notice that you got very quiet after I mentioned middle school.
You didn't say anything else.
Except to ask about happy hour at Tuesday O'Fridayhans.
Wait, you didn't say he was heading toward girls and drugs and acne?
No, of course not.
Oh, my gosh.
That was a dream.
I should have noticed that you were 17' tall.
I ate bad things last night.
And you didn't say we needed to buy Bart deodorant next year.
Oh, no, no, no.
I did say that.
That part is very important.
Strong deodorant.
Hey.
Bart's got a lot of childhood left.
I mean, he scores in the 50th percentile for knowing his right and left which is...
oh, not a test score I should have said out loud at a school function.
[sighs] Are you going to be okay?
Yes.
I'm just gonna lie here until the school stops spinning.
[snores] [breathes deeply] Feeling better?
[Marge] Mm-hmm.
I missed the picture, but Lisa was so happy to see me today.
So for now, I'm happy.
And who knows what the future holds?
Bart could knock up his high school girlfriend.
You could have grandchildren before Maggie starts kindergarten.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Mmm.
[sighs] Time to wake up.
[grunts] [gasps, sighs] Here he comes.
Mmm.
My funny little guy.
[crowd gasps] [laughing] Th...
Th...
[Homer] Huh?
Th-That's really good.
[laughs] [Homer, Lisa chuckle] [pants] Did you get the picture?
Was my crack centered?
Oh, Bart.
It was perfect.
You liked it?
I loved it!
Thanks.
Wanna go to the dunk tank?
The gym teacher I hate is on the chair.
Sure.
Oh.
[Bart chuckles] [sniffles] Let's dunk that sucker.
[sniffs] And on the way home, let's go deodorant shopping.
A mother's love is forever {\an8}but Mother's Love Rat Poison is only on sale till the end of the day.
{\an8}Aw.
{\an8}Mommy!
I was waiting by the window.
{\an8}Can I carry the bag with the milks?
{\an8}I'm really strong.
{\an8}[grunts] {\an8}I drew you picture.
{\an8}Yes, she did.
{\an8}She drew it in pudding.
{\an8}[Marge] Oh.
Pretty.
{\an8}But we should clean that up.
{\an8}- No!
[Homer grunting] {\an8}- No, no!
Fine, fine, fine.
{\an8}- No kill Pudding Mommy!
Pudding Mommy can stay.
{\an8}You should've seen her when I ate part of Ketchup Daddy.
{\an8}- [wailing] No!
Look what I got.
{\an8}- [Bart gasps] [Lisa] Ah!
{\an8}- Oh, I love you, love you, love you.
[Lisa grunting] {\an8}Oh, let's play bubbles now.
{\an8}[laughs] {\an8}[both laughing] {\an8}This is a perfect moment.
{\an8}[sobbing] {\an8}Marge, what's wrong?
{\an8}It...
It's slipping away.
{\an8}You need to stop that.
{\an8}W-W-What did you say?
{\an8}Bart!
{\an8}- Whee!
I'm flying!
[Marge grunts] {\an8}Bart!
Bart!
{\an8}What...
What is happening?
[groans] {\an8}No!
[shouts] Ooh!
[groans] Oh, no.
Oh.
He popped.
No, no.
Don't sue me, Dracula!
[groans] Did you say something?
Oh.
I was dreaming about those bubble parties we used to have with the kids.
[Homer] Mmm.
But I was so sad.
Why were you sad?
Because I knew it was gonna end.
[yawns] I get it.
That's why, for me, the last foot of a six-foot party sub...
[Marge groans] ...is bittersweet.
[gasps] Honey, you're drenched.
[groans] It's bubble juice.
Oh, honey, you don't look so good.
I mean, I think you look great, but someone else...
say, a doctor...
might be alarmed at your pale skin that is both hot and cold.
Why did we eat at Tuesday O'Fridayhans last night?
[groans] I had three glasses of frosé.
And a couple Froz-oody Marys.
[chuckles] We got pretty hammered.
Ugh.
And then we bought hot dogs from that sketchy street vendor.
Oh, but they smelled so good.
Wrapped in bacon...
Hmm?
...sizzling in that hubcap.
[gags] [gagging] [retching] [Homer] Mmm.
[groans] [Marge retches] Homer, don't listen.
We have to keep the...
[retches] ...romance alive.
[sighs] I wonder why you didn't get sick.
The clinical term is "I'm all throwed up."
Should we call Dr.
Hibbert?
No.
Oh, no, no, no, I'm-I'm good now.
It's all gone.
I'm all better.
Ooh, Bounce-A-Thon is tomorrow.
I don't think you're gonna make it.
I'll call the school in the morning.
[groans] I have to go.
I volunteered for three jobs on PTA-Martyr.com.
[yawns] Frickin' PTA-Martyr.com.
[snores] [clock ticking] Where is he?
[Bart giggles] Peekaboo.
[gasps] Oh.
[Bart laughs] Where is he?
[ticking continues] Where's my special little guy?
Bart, where are you?
[ticking stops] [Bart whispering] Don't let go.
[whimpers] [footsteps] [Marge] Hmm?
[kindergartners chattering] It's okay.
Oh, your coat.
[Bart chuckling] Bart?
[bell dinging] [laughing] Can somebody help me?
I've lost my little boy.
Bart!
[dinging continues] Oh, no.
I was just about to beat these mutant houseflies at tennis.
What do you want?
I've lost my...
my-my little boy.
[Homer's voice] You know this is a dream, right?
[didgeridoo drones] [droning] Beer.
Well, that would explain a lot.
[Homer's voice] Yeah.
In the waking world, I'm not great at didgeridoo.
Is this one of those dreams where you know you're dreaming?
There's a name for it.
Somebody once told me.
{\an8}I'm the one who told you.
{\an8}That's right.
I'm your inner Lisa.
I remember everything Lisa ever said to you exactly the way you heard it.
Really?
So you can tell me what Lisa said about dreaming when you know you're dreaming?
{\an8}Yep.
It's a scientifical concept called Lucy dreaming.
{\an8}It was invented by sleep doctors from a country somewhere.
Wow.
She's as smart as Old Sheldon.
Since this is your Lucy dream, you control everything that happens.
So I'm the one making Homer an otter?
Yes.
He appears in many forms in your dreams.
{\an8}Dad's an otter because yesterday he was lying {\an8}in a kiddie pool eating nachos off his belly.
It's a table that's always with me.
[Lisa] Sometimes Dad's a clown, sometimes a potato, sometimes a clown potato.
And sometimes he's both of the Property Brothers.
[Homer's voice] Why am I these guys?
Ah...
Never mind.
I know why.
[chuckles] But why am I having nightmares about Bart?
Did something happen?
How do I look at recent memories?
It's your Lucy dream.
You decide.
Oh.
So I can decide that all my thoughts from yesterday are stored in, I don't know, the oven?
Sure.
Why not?
[Marge] Hmm.
Hmm?
{\an8}Hmm.
[clicks tongue] Here we go.
[Bart] Mom, come quick!
[Marge] Whoa!
{\an8}I'm here.
I'm here.
Bart, what happened?
{\an8}- Splinter.
Oh.
{\an8}- That's it?
Well, it's kind of bleeding.
Maybe not.
[gasps] When did your hands get so big?
They're bigger than mine.
I don't know.
Maybe I got freaky-big hands.
Tweeze, please.
I guess it's been a while since we held hands.
Ew.
Did you get it?
Mmm.
Thanks.
So that's why you're having nightmares.
Bart is super rude and full of splinters.
Maybe.
Or maybe I'm just sick off hubcap hot dogs.
Why would awake-me eat those?
That doesn't seem like awake-me.
After enough booze slushies, you think you can do anything.
I challenged the valet to an arm wrestle but he turned out to be just a sign.
Why was I drinking frozen wine in a casual dining chain restaurant on a school night?
I don't know.
After our meeting with Bart's teacher, you said you needed a drink.
[Marge] Hmm.
{\an8}Hmm.
Mmm.
Whoa!
[children laughing, echoing] Look, whatever Bart did, we'll pay to have it cleaned or replaced or for its therapy or...
Bart hasn't done anything.
I'm meeting with all the parents, even the normal kids.
[shouts] Bart is normal.
I-I mean, we don't say normal anymore.
I mean, I-I'm talking to all the parents.
You're not special.
I-I mean, you are.
[chuckles] But...
What did you wanna talk about?
As you know, Bounce-A-Thon means we're getting close to the end of the year, so it's a good time to talk about the transition to fifth grade.
You know, last year of elementary school, and then it's on to middle school, then...
Middle school?
[rumbling] Then everything changes.
Girls, acne, drugs, body odor.
[Marge] Hmm?
[Marge groans] Listen, I've taught fifth grade.
Please buy your fifth grader deodorant.
Like, real deodorant, not the "natural" stuff.
They may look like children, but they smell like nervous cab drivers.
The point is, don't freak out.
Okay, about what?
Well, some parents start thinking, "Oh, no, this is the end of my kid's childhood."
[chuckles] But fifth grade isn't the end of Bart's childhood.
Right?
I mean, technically, it is the last year of it.
[chuckles] [gasping] Did you find out what happened to Bart?
It's what's going to happen.
He's going to grow up.
[Homer groans] Damn kid.
It was such a strange dream.
[pen scratching] Bart was four and he was so adorable.
I'd almost forgotten there was a time when Bart was the sweet one and Lisa was the difficult one.
Uh, to be fair, I'm only 18 months old, so to be going through my terrible twos now is actually pretty advanced.
[grunts] Crap, I'm still dreaming.
[gasps] Bounce-A-Thon!
I'm coming too.
[Lisa] Yay!
[Bart] Aren't you sick?
I thought I heard you barfing.
{\an8}No, that wasn't barfing.
{\an8}That was loud, sloshy burps...
{\an8}- [gags, gulps] [both groan] I signed up for snacks, so I have to make marshmallow treat...
[gags] I can do this.
Just have to melt some margar...
[gags] Don't worry.
Super-Dad is already making the marshmallow treats.
Which Krispies did you use?
Rice or Cocoa?
I'm making my own.
The rice is "krispying" as we speak.
Whoa.
[gags] Oh, it smells like you burnt it.
No problem.
I'll moisten it with the last of the eggnog.
[Marge groans, gags] I'm throwing up stuff I ate years ago.
I think I saw wedding cake.
You really should stay home.
[sighs] Maybe you're right.
[groans] This will be the first Bounce-A-Thon I've ever missed.
Oh, missing stuff is the greatest.
When I do stuff, I have a fear of missing out on missing out.
You know, FO-MOO-MO.
Homer, listen, you have to do this for me.
Take a picture of each kid giving a thumbs-up at the finish line.
{\an8}It's for my scrapbook.
I've already made windows for each school year.
[groans] Bart, thumbs-up slowly past Daddy.
Give him time to focus.
Mom, there's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just gonna say it.
At school, I'm becoming known for taking cutting-edge, no-holds-barred comedy photos.
It's true.
I've heard fifth graders say so.
So, w-what are...
what are you saying?
There's no way I can do a thumbs-up at Bounce-A-Thon.
What?
It will ruin the brand I've been building since picture day.
My fans expect me to top inside-out eyelids and Scotch Tape nose.
You don't understand the pressure I'm under.
{\an8}But this is for the Bounce-A-Thon album.
So you'll always remember Bounce-A-Thon.
But...
[sighs] ...I don't even like Bounce-A-Thon.
I'm making fun of Bounce-A-Thon.
{\an8}What?
None of us kids like Bounce-A-Thon.
It's not very cool.
Well, you thought it was cool last year.
Bart, just one thumbs-up, please.
[sighs] I'm sorry, but no.
Crazy pictures is my thing now.
You should respect that this is just how I am this year.
Bart, you sound so mature and grown-up.
[sobbing] I hate that.
[sobs] [snores] [crickets chirping] [creature growls] [Marge gasps] [Homer's voice] Run!
Something's coming!
[Marge gasps] [creature growls] [Marge panting] This is silly.
I don't need symbolism.
[growling] I know what I'm afraid of and it's not a bear.
[bear grunts] Sorry.
[bear grunts, mutters] [sighs] It's not a nightmare.
It's reality.
Bart's growing up.
I should have treasured every time he held my hand, because I don't remember when he stopped.
The poet Khalil LeBron once said, "Parents are bows...
like bow-and-arrow bows"...
[Marge] Hmm.
..."from which children are shot forth as an arrow thingy."
The bow doesn't feel sad when it sees how far and true the arrow flies.
Well, the bow feels a little sad.
The bow doesn't wanna lose touch, and the arrow has never been great about answering texts.
But even after Bart grows up, you'll still have Lisa and Maggie.
Oh, my God.
Lisa and Maggie.
It's going to happen with all of them.
[groans] Oops.
[Marge groans] [rumbling] Bart is just the beginning.
[echoing] One by one...
all my babies will leave the nest.
[echoing] I'm gonna lose all of them.
Honey, we mustn't break awake-you's brain.
Remember those commercials where they show you what depression is like?
A rain cloud follows you everywhere.
You get sucked into sofas.
And when it gets really bad, your windup monkey stops clapping.
[gasps] Look.
Look, Bart's at a playground.
Bart.
Bart, they have your favorite back-and-forth riding thingy.
[muffled] The duck, Bart.
Ride the duck!
[muffled] Bart!
No!
[children chattering] Okay.
Maybe I am being a teensy bit negative.
[Homer's voice] Okay.
A little brain hurricane.
My time as a mom will eventually come to an end.
I'll have to fill my days with a bunch of stupid hobbies.
I don't want an Etsy storefront!
It's not happening now so it's silly to be sad about it now.
It's like going to work on time.
There's no point.
I wanna show you something.
[grunting] [grunting] [Marge] Whoa!
I'm coming too.
[Lisa] Yay!
[Bart] Aren't you sick?
I thought I heard you barfing.
Freeze it right there.
[tape clicks] Now, watch it again.
But this time, look over here.
[tape rewinds] I'm coming too.
Yay!
[singsongy] Mommy's coming.
Yes, she is.
Do-do-do-do-do.
My mom.
Uh-huh!
She's rehearsing her thumbs-up.
Oh.
Oh, I was so sad that Bart had outgrown the Bounce-A-Thon I couldn't see that my sweet Lisa still loves it.
For now.
Next year she'll probably turn on it too.
Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to get out of the dark place, please.
[grunts] You're right.
Bounce-A-Thon still means a lot to Lisa.
So, what are you?
Like, my feelings police?
[chuckling] No, I'm pretty sure I'm here 'cause, deep down, you're attracted to me.
The uniform, the low center of gravity, my thick syrupy voice.
Heh.
I don't think so.
If anything, I'm into Eddie.
Yeah, he's a beautiful man.
I love that Lisa was so happy I was gonna be there.
I should be there for her.
I've got to get to the Bounce-A-Thon before Lisa's childhood slips away.
How could I wake myself up?
Oh, well, this will do it.
[gasps, grunts] Okay.
Looking good.
Feeling good.
[gags] [retches] Even better now.
[pants] I'll be there, Lisa.
I won't miss it.
[radio presenter] ...or a pickle-and-egg sandwich from Joey Mayonnaise's Sandwich Creamery.
[Marge groaning] Where the hospitality is as warm as the mayonnai...
[Marge grunting] [retches] Okay, I ruined the car.
But Mommy's s-still coming, Lisa.
[gasps] Okay, here we go.
Oh, I gotta sign up.
Okay.
Username?
Uh, uh.
Bounce-Mom.
Taken.
Fine.
Uh, Barf-Mom.
Taken, really?
Borf-Mom.
What?
Oh, come on.
Marge.
Oh, that worked.
[retches] [retches] [snores] [shouts, pants] I'm here, Lisa.
[upbeat music playing on speakers] I promised to wear this humorous wig for Bounce-A-Thon if we had 30 lice-free days and, uh, well, we had 29 but I'm just gonna assume that today is gonna go well. "
And on the bounce track right now, the second grade."
[gasps] That's Lisa's class.
[thuds] [microphone feedback] [Principal Skinner grunts] [Marge] Excuse me.
Excuse me, let me through.
I'm here to support my child.
Yeah.
Well, guess what, Princess Blue?
We're all here to support our kids.
So stick that in your G-string and make change.
I'm sorry.
I'm very, very sick, and I just...
Sick?
W-W-What kind of sick?
I don't know.
Some kind of, um, I don't know, pox or plague.
[parents muttering] [Kirk] Oh, boy.
[Marge chuckles] [sniffs, groans] Oh, no.
Food smells.
It's okay.
I'll just hold my breath.
[person 1] Mmm.
[person 2] Churro.
[person 3] Seafood.
[person 4] What are you gonna get?
[person 5] Or should I have sushi?
Must get picture.
[gagging] [Ms.
Peyton, echoing] Mrs.
Simpson?
[Marge, echoing] Huh?
Did...
Did I get the picture?
[grunts] [groaning] No.
Huh?
I took a photo after I passed out?
Yeah.
We had to pry the phone from your hand.
I've been kind of a wreck since our meeting.
You know, when you said Bart's childhood is over.
[gasps] I did not say that.
I would never say that.
Bart's childhood isn't over.
I did notice that you got very quiet after I mentioned middle school.
You didn't say anything else.
Except to ask about happy hour at Tuesday O'Fridayhans.
Wait, you didn't say he was heading toward girls and drugs and acne?
No, of course not.
Oh, my gosh.
That was a dream.
I should have noticed that you were 17' tall.
I ate bad things last night.
And you didn't say we needed to buy Bart deodorant next year.
Oh, no, no, no.
I did say that.
That part is very important.
Strong deodorant.
Hey.
Bart's got a lot of childhood left.
I mean, he scores in the 50th percentile for knowing his right and left which is...
oh, not a test score I should have said out loud at a school function.
[sighs] Are you going to be okay?
Yes.
I'm just gonna lie here until the school stops spinning.
[snores] [breathes deeply] Feeling better?
[Marge] Mm-hmm.
I missed the picture, but Lisa was so happy to see me today.
So for now, I'm happy.
And who knows what the future holds?
Bart could knock up his high school girlfriend.
You could have grandchildren before Maggie starts kindergarten.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Mmm.
[sighs] Time to wake up.
[grunts] [gasps, sighs] Here he comes.
Mmm.
My funny little guy.
[crowd gasps] [laughing] Th...
Th...
[Homer] Huh?
Th-That's really good.
[laughs] [Homer, Lisa chuckle] [pants] Did you get the picture?
Was my crack centered?
Oh, Bart.
It was perfect.
You liked it?
I loved it!
Thanks.
Wanna go to the dunk tank?
The gym teacher I hate is on the chair.
Sure.
Oh.
[Bart chuckles] [sniffles] Let's dunk that sucker.
[sniffs] And on the way home, let's go deodorant shopping.