Programma Televisivo: Scrubs - 6x14
When a terminal patient seems to have given up, a good doctor will try anything to keep them going.
Betty, there's got to be something I can do to cheer you up.
I just wish I could see my dog.
So, I'd just bring the dog in for a quick visit, it would mean the world to her.
Ever since Elliott went into private practice, Dr.
Kelso refused to speak to her.
He wouldn't say hello.
Good morning Dr.
Kelso!
He wouldn't even say "Watch out for that bucket".
See ya, I gotta go give that endocrinology lecture.
I gotcha.
My bad.
But Elliott didn't let it get to her.
Ok, let's talk about topic ACTH-secreting tumors, Guys, cellphones off, please.
Oooooh.
She didn't help things by bringing up Kelso's dead dog.
Come on, you brought Baxter to the hospital, when he was alive.
Did you want to ask me something?
Can a doctor bring a patient's dog into the hospital for a visit?
I'm going to say the same thing I said to my new gardener, when he asked me for a Easter off.
No way, Jose.
His name's actually Jose, that's why I hired him.
So we just hired a new nanny, and she's super hot, please don't make a big deal out of this or Carla'll go crazy.
Turk, who are you talking to?
I've seen a lot of hot girls, and I had...
Oh my God!
We're going for a run with Izzy.
Oh, JD, this is Heather.
Hi, how are you?
What's up?
Oh my God, she's a love!
I have to hug her alot.
Keep it together!
I can't, I'm gonna make a scene.
Grab my leg, grab my leg!
See you later!
Uaaaahh!!
I'm like headed.
I can't feel my leg!
I'm like headed!
I can't feel my...
Shhhh!
You know what, it's too dark out.
Just why is this teen top so overall see-through?
Go ahead!
Auuuch!
Eeehhh...
Ahhh!!
ItaSA Scrubs team presents Scrubs - Season 06 Episode 14 My No Good Reason VO Subtitles Transcript: Teorouge, JDsClone, Matters, Tania, gi0v3. Sync: R!ck, gi0v3 Revision: gi0v3. ::Italian Subs Addicted:: [www.italiansubs.net] Thank you so much for helping me sneak Boomer, Janitor.
No problem.
Go boy.
-Ok, right?
Ok.
Oh, what a good boy, what a good boy.
Ooh!
Hey, what happend to all of your cleaning supplies?
Actually, it's a very funny story...
...and?
Nada, I'm just looking at my cleaning supplies, I got drunk last night, he threw them up that tree.
Anyway, let's do this.
Just stay cool.
No problemo.
Oh, top of the morning, Dr.
Walter Mickhead?
Snoop Dogg resident, when we hit in the club, dude?
Oh, Colonel doctor, that tie looks finger-looking good.
So natural, did you act in college?
I did, thank you.
You can tell.
Hey Carla!
Check-it-out!
He's so cuuute!
Hey Zap, here comes trouble.
Oh no, don't worry, Dr.
Kelso never makes eye contact with patients.
Morning, sir.
Right, hello again sir!
Nice job, Mr.
Burklin.
Since Jordan had pre-natal surgery, she'd been on bed rest.
Dr.
Cox however was not.
Ok, I made your breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, I'm gonna drop Jack off at daycare, on the way to work.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
I need you to go to the videostore and get me anything with Viggo SomethingSen, I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie, and a polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring, beacuse I'm worried it may have snails.
Oh, and if you see that neighbor Lena from down the hall I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "Slut" under your breath, but loud enough so she can hear.
And don't forget to be home by 6:30, because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make me dinner!
But when will I have time to kill myself?
That's not my problem!
I know it sucks about having a hot nanny, I can't even look at Heather without Carla go on balistic.
Skeptical airfive!
She can't be that hot.
Oh, really, because I just so happened to have a video from my nanny-cam, that begs to differ.
My mom put a nanny-cam in our bathroom, she said my baths were too long.
Ooooh.
Fire up the smut.
How did you summon everybody so quickly?
Oh, I got the word out.
{\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee {\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee {\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee We did everyting we could for your mum, but...
sometimes life just...
{\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee Gotta go, boobie horn.
Here they come.
God, Keith and I haven't had sex in so long, Ok, you said the same thing when you saw me changing Izzy's diaper, What are you and Keith doing to each other?
Oh, thank you so much, Dr.
Reid.
Can you believe how different she looks?
Well, thanks to Boomer Betty has more energy, her vitals have improved, If she keeps this up she might even get home within a few of months.
Go off!
What's up to your butt?!
Yeah.
What is all up in there?
Why don't you hop aboard the "What's up Dr.
Cox's butt" trolley and we can begin our tour.
Coming up on the left, is my bloated, bed-ridden ex-wife, who's not allowed to lift a finger, which, thankfully, leaves it all up to these guys.
Now, if you look to your right, you'll see my waning libido, my crushed soul and my very last nerve, which I would advise you not to get on,under, or even close to.
Doesit help to know that Jesus loves you?
It does not.
Everything happens for a reason.
Are you really trying to tell me that things like New Orleans, AIDS, sugar free ice-creams, crack baby, Hugh Jackman and cancer all happenin' for a reason?
Because, I'm sorry, I'm...
I'm just don't buying that. "
God works all things for good".
Romans, 8.28.
Bull thinkin'.
Perry Cox, 6.1...
buck 85 after lunch.
I'd like her to give me a bath, I don't care if my mom is watching.
Can you make her eat a banana?
It's not interactive, Todd.
There it is, there it is I mean, oh, here...
Hey baby!
What are you guys watching?
Football!?
*All say: "yeah, football" * Football?
Isn't the season over?
And then, every man in the room felt totally in sync, resulting in the rarest of all phenomenon: The seamless, collaborative, guy lie.
American season is over.
We're watching Mexican football.
It started late this year.
Because of the Churro vendors, They went and strike and the players wouldn't cross the pickett line.
When the dispute turned in violent they called in Rodrigo Vasques, the owner of the Baha Banditos, to step in.
Thank to senor Vasques his experience stealing with the fruit pickers unions, he was able to broker a last-minute deal and the season was salvaged.
And that's why we're watchin' football in this spring.
Whatever.
And then Turk gave us the slightest of nods which was the universal men's sign for: "well done men, she'll never know".
Turk, what the hell!
Janitor, thank you so much forhelping me sneak Boomer in again, today.
No problem.
I once stuck a mongoose in this thing to kill all the snakes.
Why were there snakes in here?
That's not come in, to kill all the mice.
Where's the disinfectant, Lurch?
I spilled soda on my desk this morning and now it's so sticky.
Well I'm not allowed.
Here, use this.
You want me to clean soda with soda?
Are you questioning the way I do my job?
Did I question you when you did iliac bone marrow autopsy and failed to anestethyze the periostium, how about that?
No.
No you didn't.
Hey-hey!
The lone fellow figured out the ledge.
Just like the snakes.
Well, if it is nurse "Everything happens for a reason".
Oh, gosh, darn it.
I wanna haven't spilled a little coffee, I wonder what the reason was for that!
Oh Waah!
Ah!
Okay, I'm not moving until you at least offer to help me up.
There is no rhyme or reason to anything.
Why can't you just get that?
Why is it so important that everyone believes what you do?
Because I'm right and I'm the only one with any proof I'm still down here!
You don't need proof when the good Lord fills your heart with faith.
Oh my God!
Ouch!
Thank you for that Nowelle.
You can keep on huffing and puffing all you wanna do, you never gonna change the way I feel.
Oh please!
I'm so angry right now!
You know what?
We're no longer speaking!
Guys?
I need some help over here.
There are a lot of different ways to win an argument.
You can win it with an ultimatum..
I interviewed 23 girls until I found Heather but if I ever catch you eyeballing her again, I will fire her tight little butt.
And then you get to spend every waking moment interviewing the next 23 fugly ass candidates until we find another good one.
You can try to win it with logic..
Tell Dr.
Kelso that I know that's against hospital policy, but that this dog has literally helped keep Mrs.
Danbrow alive.
Mrs.
Danbrow passed away this morning at 4 AM.
Tell Dr.
Reid there will be consequences for her insubordination and say it with this face.
But the best way to win an argument is to simply leave your opponent speachless.
I think she was stubbed by a guy at the grocery store.
She's 8 years old.
Why don't you go and tell me what the reason is for this?
And then, bump, bang.
I blew Laverne's argument clean out of the water when I asked her why an 8-year old got knifed.
Oh, my God, that is so lucky.
I know.
I was thrilled.
But then...
Laverne ruined everything.
There's a reason for this.
God's gonna show us eventually.
It's infuriating.
I must break her...
That feels so good!
I can't believe I'm about to say this, Per, but...
what the hell, You know how I can't never use the word "love" except in a sarcastic way like, "I love other people's kids!", or, "I love that haircut!"
By the way, love that haircut, Per!
Everybody does.
I just...
wanna let you know...
that...
You've really been there for me these past few weeks and...
I'm really glad I have you.
That was embarrassing for you.
I know and I don't care.
What's he smiling about?
Because of the dog thing...
Dott.
Kelso wants me to tell you that he's informed your office that you are temporarily suspended from practicing at Sacred Heart.
So, you know I told him he was being ridiculous.
And what did he say?
He said: "Careful Jumpsuit!
Who sign your paychecks?"
And I said: "I don't know, the chief accountant, Charles Fickenson...
Dickenson or something, I can't read the signature."
And for the hundredth time this is not a jumpsuit.
It's a shirt and a pants.
Who wears a belt with the jumpsuit?
And he said, "I mean, I have the..."
RANDOM nurse, could you please send out a memo that unauthorized personnel are not allowed in the hospital.
Oh, here's Heather.
Why don't you look away and think about the kind husband you are?
Huh, look who's here Izzie!
She's been a little fussy, so I gonna walk her at the car with you, ok?
See you, Mr.
Turk.
See ya!
Oh, you know, Heather, I actually have a little nanny related question.
Does a spoonful of sugar really make the medicine go down?
You know what?
Sometimes it does.
That was totally worth the six hours I spent last night writing that!
All right, look, I need you to do me a FAVOUR.
Ask Heather out on a date.
Don't worry, buddy!
You know how I rule.
I start with a couple of off the cough jokes...
just like that one.
Next step I need you to find out if she's allergic to anything.
That way I'll say, "I'm allergic to the same thing."
Women love that, "Gluten, me toooo!
We can eat together."
Thirdly, if I lose a patient, I'll be able to cry like I've just watched "Extreme Home Makeover".
If everything goes according to plan...
I should be out with her on a casual, not a real date, just two friends having a beer, talking about their lives thing in about 7 to 9 weeks.
I need you to ask her on a date right now.
I never told you this before, but anytime you hook up with a chick, she automatically becomes hideous to me.
Really?
Hey, guys.
Have you seen Carla?
Yes, she just went outside.
Thanks.
I'm having a horrible freaking day.
I'd say.
You don't see that?
Laverne, excuse me, this hum...
this is Mr.
Peterson, he's that young lady's father, and as you can imagine he's having...
he's having a pretty tough time with all of this.
And since you believe that everything happens for a reason I was hoping you'd be able to tell him why this happened.
That's not her dad, that's the delivery guy in a sweat.
My name's Lloyd.
Stay in character.
She's my world.
Ok, imagine that this idiot were her father.
What the hell would you say to him?
Oh, my God, there's a tumor the size of a golfball, right where the knife went in.
If we didn't find that, she'd be a goner.
I think that's what I'd say.
How do we do?
Great.
Go.
So, until Kelso reinstates me here my practice has me doing house calls over rich clients.
During the last one I'm taking the woman's vitals and her grandson kept trying to poke his tiny little fingers up my butt.
Kids, huh?
He's 41, Carla.
He just has very small hands.
Oh, that's not right.
Can you believe Kelso?
Dr.
Kelso is just angry, Elliot.
I mean, have you ever considered it from his side?
This hospital trained you for 5 years, and you go get a better job.
Which is great but, I mean, Let me ask you this: Have you ever once thanked him?
So, how was your date with Heather?
It was touch and go, in the end.
I had a really good time, Heather.
Thanks, me too.
But I knew you needed me, so I went for it...in Italian style.
That's not what you want.
And just when I couldn't get any better...
JD?
Oh, my God!
Chad Miller, Danny Murphy, Jim Staeger.
The three football players that used to beat me up in high school.
Looks like we're wrong about you, man.
Oh, ghgh.
What are you guys up to now?
Brought gay together.
Oh.
You remember Christine Fisher?
Of course!
You turned me down for a homecoming Anne prom, even though I didn't ask it either one.
I'd love to make it up to you and have sex with both of you, if that's all right with you, Heather.
As long as you make it all about JD.
Sure.
C'mon in!
Ah ah!
Uh-uh!
Look at this.
Let's go bang!
And that's why Heather will never look attractive to you again.
-Come on, buddy.
Where did I lose you?
How did Chris do know Heather's name?
Daaamn!
You're good.
-Yeah, I know.
We went line-dancing and I cut her with one of my spurs.
I'm sorry, buddy.
All right, baby, here it is: our nanny is very attractive, but you and I are married, our relationship is rock-solid, so I think we both know it's no big deal if I look at her every once in a while, right?
Heather...
We're gonna have to let you go.
So sorry.
Dr.
Kelso, I need to talk to you, and I know that you won't speak to me, but that's okay, because I just need you to listen.
You're a scary, scary man, and because I've been petrified of you I've stayed up every night for five years studying medical books, , which I can pretty much now recite in my sleep.
I don't have a husband, or kids, and the last movie I went to see was "The Blair Witch Project", which is the main reason I stopped camping.
That and the time a wolf mounted me.
My point is...you've helped push me to become the doctor that I am today, and...for that I want to thank you.
One more thing, I'm sure that no dog could ever replace Baxter, but this little guy needs a home.
If you decide that you don't want him, just...bring him back to me.
That was a coincidence.
What?
That knife!
It just happened to go into the exact right spot.
You do not get a win for dumb luck!
Look, If that's the way you choose to see the world, then to be it.
but don't you dare try to take this away from me!
I've been coming in here every day for 24 years, watching children die and seeing good people suffer.
And if I could believe that there was a bigger plan behind all this, well, I would just be able to show up tomorrow, so stop it!
I'm sorry.
'ts ok.
You'de be surprised how many bad things happen around here for a resaon.
Oh my, I wish I could believe that.
It was all for though Jordan have had prenatal surgery?
Well, how have you two been since then?
I'm really glad I have you.
Better than ever?!
Good night.
So maybe sometimes bad things do happen for a reason.
Like your hot nanny getting fired Turk, look at this!
Blaaaaaaah!
Blaah!
You know, for a half-breed baby, your parents have some pretty nice stuff.
She was a racist thief!
Yeah, a smokin' hot racist thief.
You look pretty.
Or how getting suspended an get a relationship back in track.
Dr.
Reid!
Consider your suspension over.
That said you're still a ridiculous excuse for a doctor.
He talked to me.
Or how facing a tough situation can bring you closer together.
How's our baby?
She's hangin' in there.
Be careful, though, because around here, if you start believing that bad things happen for a reason, it hurts that much more...when they don't.
What's with all that sad faces?
Laverne was in a car accident on her way to work.
She's in a coma, and non-responsive.
Continue...
Betty, there's got to be something I can do to cheer you up.
I just wish I could see my dog.
So, I'd just bring the dog in for a quick visit, it would mean the world to her.
Ever since Elliott went into private practice, Dr.
Kelso refused to speak to her.
He wouldn't say hello.
Good morning Dr.
Kelso!
He wouldn't even say "Watch out for that bucket".
See ya, I gotta go give that endocrinology lecture.
I gotcha.
My bad.
But Elliott didn't let it get to her.
Ok, let's talk about topic ACTH-secreting tumors, Guys, cellphones off, please.
Oooooh.
She didn't help things by bringing up Kelso's dead dog.
Come on, you brought Baxter to the hospital, when he was alive.
Did you want to ask me something?
Can a doctor bring a patient's dog into the hospital for a visit?
I'm going to say the same thing I said to my new gardener, when he asked me for a Easter off.
No way, Jose.
His name's actually Jose, that's why I hired him.
So we just hired a new nanny, and she's super hot, please don't make a big deal out of this or Carla'll go crazy.
Turk, who are you talking to?
I've seen a lot of hot girls, and I had...
Oh my God!
We're going for a run with Izzy.
Oh, JD, this is Heather.
Hi, how are you?
What's up?
Oh my God, she's a love!
I have to hug her alot.
Keep it together!
I can't, I'm gonna make a scene.
Grab my leg, grab my leg!
See you later!
Uaaaahh!!
I'm like headed.
I can't feel my leg!
I'm like headed!
I can't feel my...
Shhhh!
You know what, it's too dark out.
Just why is this teen top so overall see-through?
Go ahead!
Auuuch!
Eeehhh...
Ahhh!!
ItaSA Scrubs team presents Scrubs - Season 06 Episode 14 My No Good Reason VO Subtitles Transcript: Teorouge, JDsClone, Matters, Tania, gi0v3. Sync: R!ck, gi0v3 Revision: gi0v3. ::Italian Subs Addicted:: [www.italiansubs.net] Thank you so much for helping me sneak Boomer, Janitor.
No problem.
Go boy.
-Ok, right?
Ok.
Oh, what a good boy, what a good boy.
Ooh!
Hey, what happend to all of your cleaning supplies?
Actually, it's a very funny story...
...and?
Nada, I'm just looking at my cleaning supplies, I got drunk last night, he threw them up that tree.
Anyway, let's do this.
Just stay cool.
No problemo.
Oh, top of the morning, Dr.
Walter Mickhead?
Snoop Dogg resident, when we hit in the club, dude?
Oh, Colonel doctor, that tie looks finger-looking good.
So natural, did you act in college?
I did, thank you.
You can tell.
Hey Carla!
Check-it-out!
He's so cuuute!
Hey Zap, here comes trouble.
Oh no, don't worry, Dr.
Kelso never makes eye contact with patients.
Morning, sir.
Right, hello again sir!
Nice job, Mr.
Burklin.
Since Jordan had pre-natal surgery, she'd been on bed rest.
Dr.
Cox however was not.
Ok, I made your breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, I'm gonna drop Jack off at daycare, on the way to work.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
I need you to go to the videostore and get me anything with Viggo SomethingSen, I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie, and a polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring, beacuse I'm worried it may have snails.
Oh, and if you see that neighbor Lena from down the hall I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "Slut" under your breath, but loud enough so she can hear.
And don't forget to be home by 6:30, because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make me dinner!
But when will I have time to kill myself?
That's not my problem!
I know it sucks about having a hot nanny, I can't even look at Heather without Carla go on balistic.
Skeptical airfive!
She can't be that hot.
Oh, really, because I just so happened to have a video from my nanny-cam, that begs to differ.
My mom put a nanny-cam in our bathroom, she said my baths were too long.
Ooooh.
Fire up the smut.
How did you summon everybody so quickly?
Oh, I got the word out.
{\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee {\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee {\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee We did everyting we could for your mum, but...
sometimes life just...
{\an8}Boooooooooobieeeeeeeee Gotta go, boobie horn.
Here they come.
God, Keith and I haven't had sex in so long, Ok, you said the same thing when you saw me changing Izzy's diaper, What are you and Keith doing to each other?
Oh, thank you so much, Dr.
Reid.
Can you believe how different she looks?
Well, thanks to Boomer Betty has more energy, her vitals have improved, If she keeps this up she might even get home within a few of months.
Go off!
What's up to your butt?!
Yeah.
What is all up in there?
Why don't you hop aboard the "What's up Dr.
Cox's butt" trolley and we can begin our tour.
Coming up on the left, is my bloated, bed-ridden ex-wife, who's not allowed to lift a finger, which, thankfully, leaves it all up to these guys.
Now, if you look to your right, you'll see my waning libido, my crushed soul and my very last nerve, which I would advise you not to get on,under, or even close to.
Doesit help to know that Jesus loves you?
It does not.
Everything happens for a reason.
Are you really trying to tell me that things like New Orleans, AIDS, sugar free ice-creams, crack baby, Hugh Jackman and cancer all happenin' for a reason?
Because, I'm sorry, I'm...
I'm just don't buying that. "
God works all things for good".
Romans, 8.28.
Bull thinkin'.
Perry Cox, 6.1...
buck 85 after lunch.
I'd like her to give me a bath, I don't care if my mom is watching.
Can you make her eat a banana?
It's not interactive, Todd.
There it is, there it is I mean, oh, here...
Hey baby!
What are you guys watching?
Football!?
*All say: "yeah, football" * Football?
Isn't the season over?
And then, every man in the room felt totally in sync, resulting in the rarest of all phenomenon: The seamless, collaborative, guy lie.
American season is over.
We're watching Mexican football.
It started late this year.
Because of the Churro vendors, They went and strike and the players wouldn't cross the pickett line.
When the dispute turned in violent they called in Rodrigo Vasques, the owner of the Baha Banditos, to step in.
Thank to senor Vasques his experience stealing with the fruit pickers unions, he was able to broker a last-minute deal and the season was salvaged.
And that's why we're watchin' football in this spring.
Whatever.
And then Turk gave us the slightest of nods which was the universal men's sign for: "well done men, she'll never know".
Turk, what the hell!
Janitor, thank you so much forhelping me sneak Boomer in again, today.
No problem.
I once stuck a mongoose in this thing to kill all the snakes.
Why were there snakes in here?
That's not come in, to kill all the mice.
Where's the disinfectant, Lurch?
I spilled soda on my desk this morning and now it's so sticky.
Well I'm not allowed.
Here, use this.
You want me to clean soda with soda?
Are you questioning the way I do my job?
Did I question you when you did iliac bone marrow autopsy and failed to anestethyze the periostium, how about that?
No.
No you didn't.
Hey-hey!
The lone fellow figured out the ledge.
Just like the snakes.
Well, if it is nurse "Everything happens for a reason".
Oh, gosh, darn it.
I wanna haven't spilled a little coffee, I wonder what the reason was for that!
Oh Waah!
Ah!
Okay, I'm not moving until you at least offer to help me up.
There is no rhyme or reason to anything.
Why can't you just get that?
Why is it so important that everyone believes what you do?
Because I'm right and I'm the only one with any proof I'm still down here!
You don't need proof when the good Lord fills your heart with faith.
Oh my God!
Ouch!
Thank you for that Nowelle.
You can keep on huffing and puffing all you wanna do, you never gonna change the way I feel.
Oh please!
I'm so angry right now!
You know what?
We're no longer speaking!
Guys?
I need some help over here.
There are a lot of different ways to win an argument.
You can win it with an ultimatum..
I interviewed 23 girls until I found Heather but if I ever catch you eyeballing her again, I will fire her tight little butt.
And then you get to spend every waking moment interviewing the next 23 fugly ass candidates until we find another good one.
You can try to win it with logic..
Tell Dr.
Kelso that I know that's against hospital policy, but that this dog has literally helped keep Mrs.
Danbrow alive.
Mrs.
Danbrow passed away this morning at 4 AM.
Tell Dr.
Reid there will be consequences for her insubordination and say it with this face.
But the best way to win an argument is to simply leave your opponent speachless.
I think she was stubbed by a guy at the grocery store.
She's 8 years old.
Why don't you go and tell me what the reason is for this?
And then, bump, bang.
I blew Laverne's argument clean out of the water when I asked her why an 8-year old got knifed.
Oh, my God, that is so lucky.
I know.
I was thrilled.
But then...
Laverne ruined everything.
There's a reason for this.
God's gonna show us eventually.
It's infuriating.
I must break her...
That feels so good!
I can't believe I'm about to say this, Per, but...
what the hell, You know how I can't never use the word "love" except in a sarcastic way like, "I love other people's kids!", or, "I love that haircut!"
By the way, love that haircut, Per!
Everybody does.
I just...
wanna let you know...
that...
You've really been there for me these past few weeks and...
I'm really glad I have you.
That was embarrassing for you.
I know and I don't care.
What's he smiling about?
Because of the dog thing...
Dott.
Kelso wants me to tell you that he's informed your office that you are temporarily suspended from practicing at Sacred Heart.
So, you know I told him he was being ridiculous.
And what did he say?
He said: "Careful Jumpsuit!
Who sign your paychecks?"
And I said: "I don't know, the chief accountant, Charles Fickenson...
Dickenson or something, I can't read the signature."
And for the hundredth time this is not a jumpsuit.
It's a shirt and a pants.
Who wears a belt with the jumpsuit?
And he said, "I mean, I have the..."
RANDOM nurse, could you please send out a memo that unauthorized personnel are not allowed in the hospital.
Oh, here's Heather.
Why don't you look away and think about the kind husband you are?
Huh, look who's here Izzie!
She's been a little fussy, so I gonna walk her at the car with you, ok?
See you, Mr.
Turk.
See ya!
Oh, you know, Heather, I actually have a little nanny related question.
Does a spoonful of sugar really make the medicine go down?
You know what?
Sometimes it does.
That was totally worth the six hours I spent last night writing that!
All right, look, I need you to do me a FAVOUR.
Ask Heather out on a date.
Don't worry, buddy!
You know how I rule.
I start with a couple of off the cough jokes...
just like that one.
Next step I need you to find out if she's allergic to anything.
That way I'll say, "I'm allergic to the same thing."
Women love that, "Gluten, me toooo!
We can eat together."
Thirdly, if I lose a patient, I'll be able to cry like I've just watched "Extreme Home Makeover".
If everything goes according to plan...
I should be out with her on a casual, not a real date, just two friends having a beer, talking about their lives thing in about 7 to 9 weeks.
I need you to ask her on a date right now.
I never told you this before, but anytime you hook up with a chick, she automatically becomes hideous to me.
Really?
Hey, guys.
Have you seen Carla?
Yes, she just went outside.
Thanks.
I'm having a horrible freaking day.
I'd say.
You don't see that?
Laverne, excuse me, this hum...
this is Mr.
Peterson, he's that young lady's father, and as you can imagine he's having...
he's having a pretty tough time with all of this.
And since you believe that everything happens for a reason I was hoping you'd be able to tell him why this happened.
That's not her dad, that's the delivery guy in a sweat.
My name's Lloyd.
Stay in character.
She's my world.
Ok, imagine that this idiot were her father.
What the hell would you say to him?
Oh, my God, there's a tumor the size of a golfball, right where the knife went in.
If we didn't find that, she'd be a goner.
I think that's what I'd say.
How do we do?
Great.
Go.
So, until Kelso reinstates me here my practice has me doing house calls over rich clients.
During the last one I'm taking the woman's vitals and her grandson kept trying to poke his tiny little fingers up my butt.
Kids, huh?
He's 41, Carla.
He just has very small hands.
Oh, that's not right.
Can you believe Kelso?
Dr.
Kelso is just angry, Elliot.
I mean, have you ever considered it from his side?
This hospital trained you for 5 years, and you go get a better job.
Which is great but, I mean, Let me ask you this: Have you ever once thanked him?
So, how was your date with Heather?
It was touch and go, in the end.
I had a really good time, Heather.
Thanks, me too.
But I knew you needed me, so I went for it...in Italian style.
That's not what you want.
And just when I couldn't get any better...
JD?
Oh, my God!
Chad Miller, Danny Murphy, Jim Staeger.
The three football players that used to beat me up in high school.
Looks like we're wrong about you, man.
Oh, ghgh.
What are you guys up to now?
Brought gay together.
Oh.
You remember Christine Fisher?
Of course!
You turned me down for a homecoming Anne prom, even though I didn't ask it either one.
I'd love to make it up to you and have sex with both of you, if that's all right with you, Heather.
As long as you make it all about JD.
Sure.
C'mon in!
Ah ah!
Uh-uh!
Look at this.
Let's go bang!
And that's why Heather will never look attractive to you again.
-Come on, buddy.
Where did I lose you?
How did Chris do know Heather's name?
Daaamn!
You're good.
-Yeah, I know.
We went line-dancing and I cut her with one of my spurs.
I'm sorry, buddy.
All right, baby, here it is: our nanny is very attractive, but you and I are married, our relationship is rock-solid, so I think we both know it's no big deal if I look at her every once in a while, right?
Heather...
We're gonna have to let you go.
So sorry.
Dr.
Kelso, I need to talk to you, and I know that you won't speak to me, but that's okay, because I just need you to listen.
You're a scary, scary man, and because I've been petrified of you I've stayed up every night for five years studying medical books, , which I can pretty much now recite in my sleep.
I don't have a husband, or kids, and the last movie I went to see was "The Blair Witch Project", which is the main reason I stopped camping.
That and the time a wolf mounted me.
My point is...you've helped push me to become the doctor that I am today, and...for that I want to thank you.
One more thing, I'm sure that no dog could ever replace Baxter, but this little guy needs a home.
If you decide that you don't want him, just...bring him back to me.
That was a coincidence.
What?
That knife!
It just happened to go into the exact right spot.
You do not get a win for dumb luck!
Look, If that's the way you choose to see the world, then to be it.
but don't you dare try to take this away from me!
I've been coming in here every day for 24 years, watching children die and seeing good people suffer.
And if I could believe that there was a bigger plan behind all this, well, I would just be able to show up tomorrow, so stop it!
I'm sorry.
'ts ok.
You'de be surprised how many bad things happen around here for a resaon.
Oh my, I wish I could believe that.
It was all for though Jordan have had prenatal surgery?
Well, how have you two been since then?
I'm really glad I have you.
Better than ever?!
Good night.
So maybe sometimes bad things do happen for a reason.
Like your hot nanny getting fired Turk, look at this!
Blaaaaaaah!
Blaah!
You know, for a half-breed baby, your parents have some pretty nice stuff.
She was a racist thief!
Yeah, a smokin' hot racist thief.
You look pretty.
Or how getting suspended an get a relationship back in track.
Dr.
Reid!
Consider your suspension over.
That said you're still a ridiculous excuse for a doctor.
He talked to me.
Or how facing a tough situation can bring you closer together.
How's our baby?
She's hangin' in there.
Be careful, though, because around here, if you start believing that bad things happen for a reason, it hurts that much more...when they don't.
What's with all that sad faces?
Laverne was in a car accident on her way to work.
She's in a coma, and non-responsive.
Continue...