Programma Televisivo: Psych - 5x16
Previously on Psych...
Yang is the most notorious killer this city has never seen.
The switch has such a light and then boom!
You're gonna ride in a cell with four padded walls.
The end.
Mary, you seem disturbed, even more so than usual.
Yang wasn't working alone.
So there really is a Yin to her Yang.
Mary!
I wanted to be heroic.
He was right there!
Shawn, the last time this happened, you put your life on the line and we almost lost your mother.
This guy has never gone up against me.
I will beat him.
Juliet!
He's got her.
If you think I'm sick...
you ain't seen nothing yet.
This game isn't over.
If I had to choose...
I would die execution-style by firing squad.
First of all, nobody's asking you to choose.
And secondly, why that?
It's brutal and violent.
I know.
But I would select all my shooters personally.
George Carlin, Abbot...
or Costello...
or whoever the fat one was.
Richard Pryor, Adam Brody...
all the comedy greats.
How funny would that be?
It wouldn't be.
You'd be dead.
Why do you gotta take it to a dark place?
Her name is Allison Cowley.
She claims to have been abducted by our serial killer, Mr.
Yin.
And she won't give her statement to anyone but you.
What is that sound?
Oh, I'm sorry, chief.
Sucking candy?
We have a situation here.
Okay, the situation is that Gus and I field six of these Yin calls a month 6.8.
That would insinuate one of us was missing an appendage.
Sucking candy?
No.
These Yinites come out of the woodwork looking for some kind of thrill, or a validation, or...
Closure.
Sickos and whackjobs.
But very sad.
I concur, Lassie.
Suck.
Mr.
Spencer, we have an obligation to investigate every claim that comes into this station.
So get in there.
You know, these Yinites are usually women in their late 40s.
You're off-type, I'll give you that.
And I'm guessing that's your red Jetta out front?
Am I right?
She seems genuinely upset.
I was kidnapped.
I should be dead right now.
Do you have any idea how that feels?
Why do you think that this is Yin?
I don't think, I know.
I heard his voice.
He told me I was special.
And then he shackled me to a pipe.
This was my retainer.
Now it's just a little piece of wire that saved my life.
I came to you because this is very, very real and very personal.
I don't need to be here anymore, do I?
No.
All right, look, you've obviously been through something.
Okay, sure.
And I know it feels very real to you.
But regardless of what you've read or may have heard, I have no personal connection to this psychopath.
All right?
I'm sorry.
Sorry to let you down.
I stole this on my way out.
You're sure this is the house, right?
I'm positive.
Stay here.
All right, on my count.
Okay.
One, two, go!
SPBD!
Hands in the air!
Hey!
Hands in the air!
Hands in the air!
Hey!
Aw, crap.
Again, we apologize profusely.
And the sergeant behind you will indeed take your statement at this time.
It's not possible.
There were no people.
None of this is right.
I don't know what kind of thrills you were after at the expense of the Santa Barbara Police Department, but you can bet that I will personally be pursuing charges for filing a false police report.
Chief, we jumped the gun, and we do apologize profusely.
Whoa, whoa, wait just one profuse second here.
What about the photograph?
If you hadn't had that psychic tizzy fit back at the station, we would've taken the time to have the photograph analyzed.
Looked photoshopped to me.
Analyze it.
And then get back to me within seconds of you having anything conclusive.
I'm not crazy.
He brought me here.
I'll prove it to you.
Straight ahead is the kitchen.
Go to the left, there's a fireplace with river rock.
French doors go out to the yard.
To my right, there's stairs going up with a stained glass window.
At the base, tulips.
Wow.
Really?
Tulips?
They thought that was worth staining in the glass?
No.
I would've done something with Kristy Swanson's character from Higher Learning.
Huh?
Maybe her hitting a backhand.
Please believe me.
Um, Shawn, can I talk to you for a sec?
Yeah.
One second.
Shawn, I'm a little concerned.
I know.
I know, I've been wearing these jeans for seven months straight.
I'm gonna wash them this weekend.
Stop it.
You still believe this girl?
I don't know for sure, but shouldn't we give her a chance?
What if she is telling the truth?
Shawn, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but this has been a complete waste of our time.
And a little sick, quite frankly.
Why is it so hard for you to imagine?
You, of all people.
Are you afraid to believe her?
Hey, Allison, where are you staying?
I'm living in an apartment off-campus.
Right.
That doesn't feel too safe.
At least not until we sort this out.
You know, we know a place where you'll be in good hands.
Old, calloused hands, but safe.
So are you psychic too?
Uh, no.
No, that's...
That's Shawn's gift...
alone.
Here you go.
Now sip it, it's hot.
Thank you.
You guys seem really close.
Yeah, that's me forcing Shawn to fish.
He hated it.
Photographs can be very deceiving.
The pixel is the smallest addressable screen element.
It's the smallest unit of a picture that can be controlled.
Each pixel has it's own address.
Is the picture real?
Parts of it are.
What does that mean?
Well the background is simply that...
it's changeable.
This image has been laid on top of a fixed pixel array.
It's fake.
Now we're talking.
These pixels, however, are rendered from the same set of subpixels.
They're undeniably connected.
You were definitely standing next to the woman in the photo.
Oh, another hand turkey.
Think that makes six.
Yeah, it's a good thing that Shawn is sharp in other areas, because he is artistically-challenged.
Oh, come on, that's not bad for a toddler.
He made that one last Thanksgiving.
I hope the He-Man sheets are acceptable.
Wow, seems untouched.
Yeah, I thought about turning the room into some sort of workspace, but in my case that meant target practice.
Which didn't seem too practical.
Hey.
Hey, come on, come on.
Everything's gonna be okay, you just went through a trauma, and sometimes the body has to go into shock before it can start to process this stuff.
I'm not crying about that.
I'm crying because Shawn believes me.
He's the only one.
The family had just returned home from a two week vacation in Fort Lauderdale.
So?
So he may have been there the night before.
Your theory is that Yin broke into the house, stole all the furniture, abducted the girl, then moved it all back in once she escaped?
You sound like Spencer.
Okay, I know it sounds farfetched, but Yin has done more elaborate things in the past.
Allison Cowley knew the exact layout of this home.
So maybe she broke into the house herself to learn the layout.
She's a whackjob!
Come on, O'Hara.
Look...
I know what it feels like, okay?
I have heard his voice, I have felt his breath, Carlton.
I know what you're thinking, and I don't need to hear it, okay?
If this girl is telling the truth, she needs our help.
My help.
Oh...
I want pictures of every inch of this room.
With this guy, anything can be a clue.
This cannot happen again.
If this girl dies, we all have blood on our hands.
No, no, no, there is nothing down there.
I cannot believe I did not check this room first.
Look dad, you followed your instincts, okay?
And they were right.
She should've been safe here.
The son of a bitch was in my house, he's gonna contend with me now.
He's gonna contend with all of us.
And I mean...
all of us.
You really think this will work?
Certainly worth a shot.
We wouldn't have made it through the last round without her.
What the...?
Hey!
Looks like somebody was a bad girl and raided mommy's closet.
Hi, boys.
Thank you, Gregory.
Shawn, Shawn, Shawn.
The prodigal son returns.
Are you wearing makeup?
I am.
It's part of my new self-esteem class.
Do you think I look pretty?
Depends, how far along are you in the class?
Yes, we do.
We think you look lovely.
I've made a lot of progress since the last time we saw each other, Shawn.
They're calling me a model prisoner patient.
No longer considered to be a danger to myself or others.
Except for the fat bitch in the cafeteria who can't grasp the concept of a full scoop of mashed potatoes.
We're here to ask for your help again.
You look so much happier, Shawn.
Are you seeing someone?
Uh, I don't really think that's really...
Shawn Spencer has taken a lover.
Yay!
About time, we were worried about you.
Why don't you tell me about this?
Oh, look!
We looked so innocent back then.
Why can't I remember it?
You don't remember it?
Shawn, I'm insulted.
This was our moment.
Where was this photo taken?
No, no, no, no.
You guys have to figure that out for yourselves.
I'm not just going to tell you.
How much fun would that be?
Yin has taken another victim.
Her name is Allison Cowley.
If you've made all this progress, why don't you prove it to us?
If you want redemption, lead us to Yin and help us save this girl.
Color me intrigued.
Great.
Start talking.
No, Shawn.
That's not the way I work, you know that.
I'm just like you.
I need to feel, and touch, and see things with my own eyes.
Take me to the crime scene.
Oh, come on, that's impossible.
No, me hosting The View and making out with Elizabeth Hasselbeck is impossible.
This is not.
It's non-negotiable.
You're gonna take me there, I'm gonna tell you where I think Yin is, where he's holding the girl, et cetera.
Otherwise, I'm late for the afternoon movie.
They're screening Carbon Copy.
I can't resist a young Susan Saint James.
Spunky.
Yeah, I can't believe this.
Lassie, hey.
I need a smallish favor.
You remember a shirt that Shawn had as a kid?
It was a sky blue shirt with a dark blue collar.
Henry, what is this about?
Who would remember his shirts from childhood?
I do.
Almost all of them.
I just don't remember this one.
Now I know he stopped wearing shirts with brand names on them right after his ninth birthday.
Why do you know that?
Because we had an argument about it.
He didn't wanna promote products without being paid for it...
Maddy, do you remember the shirt or don't you?
What's going on, Henry?
You sound like a detective right now.
I am a detective.
Maddy, I don't want you to be alarmed, but this has to do with Yang.
Did she escape?
No, no, no, it's nothing like that.
She's safe, she's behind bars, it's just this photograph...
this picture...
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
I'm gonna handle it all.
Look, if Shawn is in trouble, you better tell me right now...
Maddy, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Wow.
So this is where it all began.
Boyhood nights, under the covers with a flashlight, making shadows on the ceiling dance, counting little lambs while you drifted off to sleep.
Oh, I wish I could go back in time.
And pinch those chubby little cheeks, and tell you nothing will be okay.
Start talking, Yang, or it's back to the rubber room.
What is Lassie think it is?
Shutter Island?
Either that or Tootsie.
Okay, okay, don't get your 1950s boxers in a twist, Carlton.
Come on, Shawn, let's do this together.
Mm.
You must've cared a lot about this girl to let her sleep in your bed.
Does your lover know?
I haven't taken a lover, okay?
Besides, my dad made the sleeping arrangements.
Oh, and they call me the sick one?
The girl wasn't dragged out of here, she was lifted out.
Was she drugged?
CSI said they found an alcohol swab.
So he was gentle with her.
Why?
He told me I was special.
Something different about this one.
She's special.
Exactly, Shawn.
See how well we work together?
So maybe he won't kill her.
Oh, no, he is definitely going to kill her.
He's just got something special planned.
Something fit for a grand finale.
So where would he have taken her?
Sadly, I have not been in contact with Yin.
Surprise, surprise, he hasn't visited me during my incarceration.
Then why the hell did we bring you here?
Because Shawn and I have a romantic history together.
And I deserve to see his bedroom.
That's it.
This circus is over.
Let's go.
Okay, ow!
Gosh.
Fine.
Sometimes it isn't something he leaves behind, the clue.
Sometimes it's something he takes with him.
Shawn.
What?
I've been in this room twice in the last 15 years, how am I supposed to know if something's missing?
Shawn, think.
Use your gift.
Go back in time and se...
sense the way things were.
What does this possibly have to do with Barbra Streisand?
Focus.
One of my army men.
It's facing the wrong direction.
My vinyl?
Meat is Murder, by The Smiths, 1984, Van Halen...
both missing.
Are you sure?
Of course I'm sure, they're clearly in order.
Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode, Thompson Twins...
What order are you using?
Sweetness.
Men Wthout Hats is cooler than Echo and the Bunnymen?
But more importantly, where are Devo and the Talking Heads in all this?
All right, let's just think about this for a second.
Meat is Murder, first track, The Headmaster Ritual.
Second track...
Wait a second.
1984 has Hot For Teacher.
The headmaster, teacher...
I live in an apartment off-campus.
I'm sensing that this is about her teacher.
Save Ferris.
Save Ferris.
Awesome, great.
Hey, this is Allison's class schedule.
Maybe you can...
'Cause Shawn and I have a romantic history together, and I deserve to see his bedroom.
Hey, Simoleum building, lecture hall C, where is it?
Are you serious?
Oh, no, I'm not.
Not very often!
If you hit lecture hall D, you've gone too far!
Karl Rotmensen!
You're wanted for questioning in the abduction of...
I'm not Karl Rotmensen, I'm just his substitute.
Where is he?
I don't know.
I don't know, I was just given his lesson to copy on the board.
Let me see some ID.
It's okay. "
A wily prin named Spencerton attempts to save lady Allison "from the evil clutches of the handsome, but vicious lord Yin".
What the hell is this?
It's an exercise, a writing essay.
The students can write the details of the story any way they want but they all have to use the same ending.
What is the ending?
The girl dies.
It's a real downer.
Professor Rotmensen has not shown up for his lecture since last week, so we brought in a sub.
He never called in sick and we never heard from him.
You never noticed anything strange about him?
Any odd behavior?
If you're asking me if he conducted himself like a serial killer, running around with shrunken heads, or wearing students' skin as a dress, then no.
We're talking about a highly intelligent man who was either tenured or an adjunct professor at every prestigious institution in California.
We were lucky to get him.
I'd hold off on naming a library after him just yet.
I don't suppose you have an address for him on file?
This is the only address on file.
Thank you, you've been very unhelpful.
I should've remembered the shirt.
I should've remembered a lot of things.
Look, Maddy, I...
I got on a plane, and I flew here, and now I'm standing here in your house.
This is where you make me a pot of your horrendous coffee.
It's gonna be a long night.
These are all the photographs I took that summer with my camera.
I've been through everything, twice, three times, I just can't find a match.
Mom!
What are you doing here?
Goose.
Your father called me.
I came here to help.
Dad, why in the hell would...
Shawn, she figured it out, she's here now, okay?
Let's focus on what's important.
We're gonna have to do this together.
Gus, Juliet...
Detective Lassiter.
Doctor.
All right, fine.
We got an address for Yin.
It was a field.
In the middle of the field was a box, inside the box was some VHS tapes.
We don't know what's on them, but we're about to find out.
I can't believe he led us to a cardboard box in the middle of a field.
That's such a blatant rip-off of Se7en.
We got lucky, it could've been Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Good thing you still had a VCR, Shawn.
I've got a laser disc player too.
Gus still has his Lite-Brite.
Hey, Shawn.
Guster.
So a lot of this stuff is just gonna be, you know, just some random thoughts that I'm having.
Ideas...
there'll be a lot of my personal poetry, and there'll be some observations on Yin and Yang.
What the hell is this?
It's his video diaries.
Yin must've stolen it from Mary's apartment when he broke in last year.
He kept them this whole time?
I suspect for this precise moment, to help us find him.
You're saying he wanted us to find him?
Yeah, I've been thinking why else take someone so close to home?
This feels like an exit strategy.
In other words, if we don't catch him now, we don't catch him.
Then let's pay attention.
Day one, hour one.
What is the deal with One Tree Hill?
I don't understand.
It's like a poorly-executed Dawson's Creek.
Why are they doing that?
Don't even get me started on Chad Michael Murray.
Too late, I'm gonna start in.
He has dead eyes.
Jasper Peaks, arrows and bows...
Is he wearing a monkey asskot?
It's a monkscot.
The tickle of a good friend's nose, and a tum tum filled with spaghettios.
Spencer, when do we turn this crap off?
There has to be a clue buried in here somewhere for me.
There has to be.
Whoa, wait a minute.
That's dated two nights before he was murdered.
No, Marian.
Okay, Shawn...
I might be loopy on too much string cheese right now, but I think I just realized something.
The reason that Yang's book rang false could be...
'cause she's a pawn in all this, okay.
She exhibits characteristics that are way more indicative of a victim than an aggressor, all right?
And we know she didn't do it alone, right?
Maybe she didn't do it at all.
I just think Yin is very, very angry with her for being caught.
Maybe even jealous of the infamy.
Shawn, I think Yin's about to take revenge of the highest malevolence.
And I'm worried.
Henry, wait a minute.
What?
What'd you find?
Remember that Instamatic you bought me for my photography class?
These are the pictures I took.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
Oh, my God.
It's her.
Whose car was this?
What were you doing there?
I think that CGI has ruined movie story-telling for all of us.
Is he wearing a onesie?
Yes.
I don't wanna say it's completely Michael Bay's fault, but that guy needs to be stopped 'cause it's all his fault.
Whoa, whoa.
That's Allison.
Where is she?
Those stairs seem to indicate a basement somewhere.
I was out looking for Shawn because he was late for dinner.
It was starting to rain and I met her.
She asked if she could have her picture taken with him.
And you let her?
She seemed so sad.
She said Shawn was the luckiest, most handsome boy she'd ever seen, and that he had kindness in his eyes.
I felt so bad for her.
I never saw her again.
I looked for her that week.
I put the picture in the mailbox, I never knew she ever got it.
Yeah, well, now we know she did.
Shawn!
Shawn, get down here!
We found it.
Your mom took this photograph.
It's a house, it's over on Grayson Street.
Grayson Street?
Oh, my God.
That was Yang?
This whole thing started three blocks away.
Come on, Gus!
No, Shawn...
Shawn, get back!
Shawn, get...
Damn it, Shawn.
Where the hell is Grayson Street?
Damn it, Shawn!
Maddy, stay here, lock both doors, do not leave.
The flag's up. "
Shawn and the salesman, "the key's under the mat, wipe your feet, come alone or the girl dies. "
Shawn...
We don't have a choice, Gus.
What is this about?
Is this about Shawn?
That's your mom's voice.
Is he okay?
Look, if Shawn is in trouble...
You better tell me right now because I...
Henry?
He must've tapped my dad's phone and recorded it.
Henry.
Henry, backup's on the way!
Allison.
Where is he?
It's okay, we're gonna get you outta here.
It's gonna be okay.
Shawn, nothing's gonna be okay.
Henry, what're you doing?
Henry!
Oh, my God.
I told him that I didn't think you would take the bait.
But I guess that's why he's the master.
And I'm the apprentice.
What do you say I give you a tour of the house?
Allison, don't do this.
You have been brainwashed.
Put the gun down, you could still have a life.
Save it, Pyramus.
You were so easy.
All I've heard is, "He's so worthy.
My greatest foe... "
Blah, blah, blah.
I bust out the pouty lips and puffy eyes, you fell for every neo-romantic cliche in the book.
Oh!
Go on.
Move.
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Go on.
Ow, wh...
Ow.
Ow.
There's no way in.
This place is like Fort Kknox.
Carlton!
It was in the mailbox.
Son of a bitch!
Call for the ram.
That'll just about do it.
I'd like to thank Mr.
Yin for letting me open up for him tonight.
It's been a blast.
I've got t-shirts and iron-ons for sale in the lobby.
Do you remember the precise moment that you knew you were a complete psychopath?
Shawn.
No, I'm interested.
Was it gradual, or did you just wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and see the chimp from Monkey Shines?
Ms.
Cowley, you're excused.
What?
No way am I missing this.
I did everything that you asked me to.
I was perfect.
I deserve this.
I won't ask again.
Well?
First impressions?
Hideous.
Arcane.
I must apologize for the lack of decorum on the part of my new colleague.
Kids, you know, these days.
However there is no substitute for enthusiasm, and hers is off the charts.
Even I shudder to think what she'll be capable of once I pass off the proverbial baton.
If only your good friend Yang had been as passionate.
Oh, well, no use crying over spilled soda.
Uh, what is going inside the syringe?
You should know that two famous 15th century knights of the Italian Renaissance...
I believe they were from the Este family of Ferrara...
met their deaths in those two very chairs.
Really?
No, I found them at a flea market in Oxnard.
But don't worry, Shawn, tonight we'll be making our own new style of history.
Are you ignoring my question on purpose?
Gus, do you really want to know?
Yes, Shawn, I'm very particular about what goes into my body.
It's probably safe to assume it's something lethal.
Is that accurate?
A box of Mars bars to you, Shawn.
How much longer are we gonna wait?
It's not my call, what the hell do you want me to do?
This is wrong.
O'Hara, every fiber of my being tells me this is a bad idea.
It's the only thing we have that Yin hasn't planned for, chief.
There's a hidden storm cellar.
I can get you into the house on two conditions.
You're in no position to negotiate terms.
What are they?
One, I go in with you alone, you need me to navigate.
Anything more and he's gonna know what we're up to, if he doesn't already.
What's number two?
I get another picture with Shawn, the other one is just too old.
O'Hara, listen to me, you don't have to do this.
Yes, I do.
Stay here, Carlton.
Girl time!
Okay, this is as far as I go unless the shackles come off.
Not happening.
That was not part of the deal.
Deals are meant to be broken, aren't they, Juliet?
Shawn has such kind eyes, don't you think?
What are you up to?
You don't trust me.
Of course not.
Well, you should.
I'm the only chance your boyfriend has of getting out of here alive.
Follow me!
Now to answer your question, Burton, what we have here is a little concoction I affectionately coined "the last kiss".
One part cyanide, one part strychnine, two parts atropine, with just a shake...
not stirred...
of boat cleaner.
And it's all for you.
That's not gonna work.
I can't watch him die, you'll have to kill me first.
You must be out of your damn mind if you think I'm gonna sit here and die after watching you die with some ridiculous grin on your face because you're thinking of sopapillas, or that stupid scene from Summer School where the students all pretend to be dead.
And do you have just the one needle?
Do you plan on sterilizing in between uses?
Surely you can't be serious.
I don't know where all you've been, Shawn.
Okay, chief, everything is fine we are inside the house.
Copy that.
And Juliet...
be careful.
Allison?
Detective O'Hara.
Uh, chief, I have Allison.
She's okay, I'm gonna bring her out.
Allison, are you hurt?
No.
Here, give me the gun, give me the gun.
Do you know where the others are?
Can you take me to them?
I don't know where Shawn and Gus are.
He drugged me with something, I just woke up, I don't know.
Okay, okay, everything's gonna be fine.
Everything's gonna be fine, I'm gonna take you out right now.
Don't stop, please.
You gotta get me outta here.
You said you just woke up, Allison.
Yeah, he drugged me or something.
So how did you know that Shawn and Gus were in this house?
I don't know what you're talking...
How did you know?
Not bad for a blonde.
What's going on?
We lost contact.
What?
O'Hara!
Break down the walls, do whatever it takes.
Ah!
Ah!
Since when am I an unclean person?
You rode halfway around the world on a motorcycle with a bumper sticker that said "pucker up and blow".
It was a little cartoon tuba.
With human lips.
That's enough.
You two are insufferable.
Don't you even breathe.
Only Burton gets the needle, I have something far more colorful in mind for you, Shawn.
Firing squad?
Please say firing squad.
I don't blame you, Shawn.
I want you to know that...
That if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
You're my best friend and we got a chance to live out our childhood dreams.
I don't blame you, okay?
And I'm sorry if I couldn't always cut loose the way you wanted me to.
You kill him, I kill you, you got it?
That race done did run, baby.
No, shouldn't you be launching into some kind of soliloquy, huh?
About why you do the things that you do, and why you picked me, and all that stuff?
I mean, I think I deserve an explanation here.
You're stalling, it's beneath you.
No, he isn't, we just appreciate a little closure before we say good-bye to Grover's Corners one last time.
That's right.
Whoa-whoa-whoa, what is that?
What is that, a Sesame Street reference?
No, Shawn.
You want to tell us, you can't help it.
It's called serial killer's prerogative.
You can't resist, it's protocol.
Very good, Don Cheadle, junior.
Yes, I suppose I didn't lure the two of you all the way over here just to flash you my folksy smile.
I bet you are so textbook.
Overbearing mommy lock you in a closet, huh?
Dissect small animals when you were a little kid?
Memorize episodes of Perfect Strangers line for line?
None of the above, Freud-zoid.
I could've gone either direction, but I chose to indulge the crazies.
I like to defy stereotypes at every turn.
I never jumped on the frozen yogurt train either.
Why did you pick me in the first place?
Because you were pretty good.
You were interesting.
You had a black side-kick, and that felt fun.
No, it was more than that.
You've been obsessed with me since I was a kid.
No, Yang.
Yang was obsessed with you, Shawn.
Yang.
I didn't even know who the hell you were until you started doing this shtick.
Yang took notice of the pre-pubescent you and developed an unhealthy crush.
Feelings are the enemy of efficiency, Shawn.
She betrayed me to save your mother, and that threw a serious wrench into the cogs of my career plans.
She broke my trust and she broke my heart, and for that, I blame you.
And now it's time to die.
Satisfied?
Ab...
Hi, daddy.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Did you read it, daddy?
Did you read my book?
No, I did not read your book, I was angry with you.
You guys really dropped the ball, huh?
We got played by the new you.
You replaced me?
Daddy, I'm your own flesh and blood, I just wanted you to be proud of me.
You betrayed me.
You chose him.
No, no, no, I just wanted us to be like a real family, like the Spencers.
A real family?
You're obsessed with a fairy tale, my dear, I taught you better.
No, you're right.
You're right, daddy.
I'm sorry.
I was sadly mistaken.
No.
No, Yang.
Don't listen to him, he doesn't control you.
Not anymore.
Daddy, I just wanna come home.
Can I come home now, daddy?
Yes, my darling girl, you can come home.
You can come home, come to daddy.
Come to daddy.
Come give daddy a big hug.
Yes, daddy loves you.
Here, sit on daddy's lap.
Ah!
I never loved you.
I know.
Don't move a muscle!
You guys all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Allison's crazy, though.
She's in on this.
Yeah, I learned that the hard way.
I was dead wrong, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God, are you all right?
Yeah.
You should see her.
She's gonna haunt me in my dreams, Shawn.
And not in a good way.
Well...
Well, what?
Yang.
You never actually killed anyone, did you?
I could've stopped him.
I was weak.
He raised you.
You never had a chance.
Come on.
Carlton, wait.
A deal's a deal.
Deal?
What deal?
Oh...
One more, one more, fast.
Let's go.
Good-bye, Shawn, good-bye, Gus.
And good-bye, Juliet.
Don't be strangers, we have badminton every Wednesday.
Well, I haven't played badminton...
No, Shawn.
I'll catch up with you later, Mr.
Spencer.
Goose!
We're okay.
McNabb...
You still here?
There was no way I was leaving here till this thing was over.
This has been a traumatic day.
Year, actually.
Just thinking about all of the...
Justice?
I was gonna say near-death experiences.
You don't feel anything?
Closure.
Indifference.
Hunger.
Wow.
You're like a robot.
Thank you.
I got the same comment on my eHarmony page so it must be true.
One thing you learn about me right off the bat, takes a lot more than a day like today to ruffle this bird's feathers.
Go home to your wife, McNabb, we start at 9:00 A.
M.
It's 7:00 right now.
Fine.
Come in an hour late.
Hey, there you are.
I finished writing my statement 20 minutes ago, Gus is in the car, engine on, wheels pointed towards pancakes.
Please, tell me you're in.
I can't write this.
I thought if I just had a moment to myself I could.
But it's just living it all over again, and...
I can't.
This is what you write. "
We did it".
Maybe you add an exclamation point if that doesn't feel too excessive.
I could quite possibly be elated very soon, but part of me just feels like we are just marking time till the next crazy rolls in.
Oh, yeah, of course we are.
But the next crazy's gonna be small potatoes compared to Yin.
Plus...
you have me now.
I know I may not appear that physically imposing at first blush, but it turns out I have the tenacity of a Swiss fox, and the instincts of a dragonfly.
You realize one of those is a rabbit and the other is an insect?
Yeah, that's why I chose them.
Yang is the most notorious killer this city has never seen.
The switch has such a light and then boom!
You're gonna ride in a cell with four padded walls.
The end.
Mary, you seem disturbed, even more so than usual.
Yang wasn't working alone.
So there really is a Yin to her Yang.
Mary!
I wanted to be heroic.
He was right there!
Shawn, the last time this happened, you put your life on the line and we almost lost your mother.
This guy has never gone up against me.
I will beat him.
Juliet!
He's got her.
If you think I'm sick...
you ain't seen nothing yet.
This game isn't over.
If I had to choose...
I would die execution-style by firing squad.
First of all, nobody's asking you to choose.
And secondly, why that?
It's brutal and violent.
I know.
But I would select all my shooters personally.
George Carlin, Abbot...
or Costello...
or whoever the fat one was.
Richard Pryor, Adam Brody...
all the comedy greats.
How funny would that be?
It wouldn't be.
You'd be dead.
Why do you gotta take it to a dark place?
Her name is Allison Cowley.
She claims to have been abducted by our serial killer, Mr.
Yin.
And she won't give her statement to anyone but you.
What is that sound?
Oh, I'm sorry, chief.
Sucking candy?
We have a situation here.
Okay, the situation is that Gus and I field six of these Yin calls a month 6.8.
That would insinuate one of us was missing an appendage.
Sucking candy?
No.
These Yinites come out of the woodwork looking for some kind of thrill, or a validation, or...
Closure.
Sickos and whackjobs.
But very sad.
I concur, Lassie.
Suck.
Mr.
Spencer, we have an obligation to investigate every claim that comes into this station.
So get in there.
You know, these Yinites are usually women in their late 40s.
You're off-type, I'll give you that.
And I'm guessing that's your red Jetta out front?
Am I right?
She seems genuinely upset.
I was kidnapped.
I should be dead right now.
Do you have any idea how that feels?
Why do you think that this is Yin?
I don't think, I know.
I heard his voice.
He told me I was special.
And then he shackled me to a pipe.
This was my retainer.
Now it's just a little piece of wire that saved my life.
I came to you because this is very, very real and very personal.
I don't need to be here anymore, do I?
No.
All right, look, you've obviously been through something.
Okay, sure.
And I know it feels very real to you.
But regardless of what you've read or may have heard, I have no personal connection to this psychopath.
All right?
I'm sorry.
Sorry to let you down.
I stole this on my way out.
You're sure this is the house, right?
I'm positive.
Stay here.
All right, on my count.
Okay.
One, two, go!
SPBD!
Hands in the air!
Hey!
Hands in the air!
Hands in the air!
Hey!
Aw, crap.
Again, we apologize profusely.
And the sergeant behind you will indeed take your statement at this time.
It's not possible.
There were no people.
None of this is right.
I don't know what kind of thrills you were after at the expense of the Santa Barbara Police Department, but you can bet that I will personally be pursuing charges for filing a false police report.
Chief, we jumped the gun, and we do apologize profusely.
Whoa, whoa, wait just one profuse second here.
What about the photograph?
If you hadn't had that psychic tizzy fit back at the station, we would've taken the time to have the photograph analyzed.
Looked photoshopped to me.
Analyze it.
And then get back to me within seconds of you having anything conclusive.
I'm not crazy.
He brought me here.
I'll prove it to you.
Straight ahead is the kitchen.
Go to the left, there's a fireplace with river rock.
French doors go out to the yard.
To my right, there's stairs going up with a stained glass window.
At the base, tulips.
Wow.
Really?
Tulips?
They thought that was worth staining in the glass?
No.
I would've done something with Kristy Swanson's character from Higher Learning.
Huh?
Maybe her hitting a backhand.
Please believe me.
Um, Shawn, can I talk to you for a sec?
Yeah.
One second.
Shawn, I'm a little concerned.
I know.
I know, I've been wearing these jeans for seven months straight.
I'm gonna wash them this weekend.
Stop it.
You still believe this girl?
I don't know for sure, but shouldn't we give her a chance?
What if she is telling the truth?
Shawn, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but this has been a complete waste of our time.
And a little sick, quite frankly.
Why is it so hard for you to imagine?
You, of all people.
Are you afraid to believe her?
Hey, Allison, where are you staying?
I'm living in an apartment off-campus.
Right.
That doesn't feel too safe.
At least not until we sort this out.
You know, we know a place where you'll be in good hands.
Old, calloused hands, but safe.
So are you psychic too?
Uh, no.
No, that's...
That's Shawn's gift...
alone.
Here you go.
Now sip it, it's hot.
Thank you.
You guys seem really close.
Yeah, that's me forcing Shawn to fish.
He hated it.
Photographs can be very deceiving.
The pixel is the smallest addressable screen element.
It's the smallest unit of a picture that can be controlled.
Each pixel has it's own address.
Is the picture real?
Parts of it are.
What does that mean?
Well the background is simply that...
it's changeable.
This image has been laid on top of a fixed pixel array.
It's fake.
Now we're talking.
These pixels, however, are rendered from the same set of subpixels.
They're undeniably connected.
You were definitely standing next to the woman in the photo.
Oh, another hand turkey.
Think that makes six.
Yeah, it's a good thing that Shawn is sharp in other areas, because he is artistically-challenged.
Oh, come on, that's not bad for a toddler.
He made that one last Thanksgiving.
I hope the He-Man sheets are acceptable.
Wow, seems untouched.
Yeah, I thought about turning the room into some sort of workspace, but in my case that meant target practice.
Which didn't seem too practical.
Hey.
Hey, come on, come on.
Everything's gonna be okay, you just went through a trauma, and sometimes the body has to go into shock before it can start to process this stuff.
I'm not crying about that.
I'm crying because Shawn believes me.
He's the only one.
The family had just returned home from a two week vacation in Fort Lauderdale.
So?
So he may have been there the night before.
Your theory is that Yin broke into the house, stole all the furniture, abducted the girl, then moved it all back in once she escaped?
You sound like Spencer.
Okay, I know it sounds farfetched, but Yin has done more elaborate things in the past.
Allison Cowley knew the exact layout of this home.
So maybe she broke into the house herself to learn the layout.
She's a whackjob!
Come on, O'Hara.
Look...
I know what it feels like, okay?
I have heard his voice, I have felt his breath, Carlton.
I know what you're thinking, and I don't need to hear it, okay?
If this girl is telling the truth, she needs our help.
My help.
Oh...
I want pictures of every inch of this room.
With this guy, anything can be a clue.
This cannot happen again.
If this girl dies, we all have blood on our hands.
No, no, no, there is nothing down there.
I cannot believe I did not check this room first.
Look dad, you followed your instincts, okay?
And they were right.
She should've been safe here.
The son of a bitch was in my house, he's gonna contend with me now.
He's gonna contend with all of us.
And I mean...
all of us.
You really think this will work?
Certainly worth a shot.
We wouldn't have made it through the last round without her.
What the...?
Hey!
Looks like somebody was a bad girl and raided mommy's closet.
Hi, boys.
Thank you, Gregory.
Shawn, Shawn, Shawn.
The prodigal son returns.
Are you wearing makeup?
I am.
It's part of my new self-esteem class.
Do you think I look pretty?
Depends, how far along are you in the class?
Yes, we do.
We think you look lovely.
I've made a lot of progress since the last time we saw each other, Shawn.
They're calling me a model prisoner patient.
No longer considered to be a danger to myself or others.
Except for the fat bitch in the cafeteria who can't grasp the concept of a full scoop of mashed potatoes.
We're here to ask for your help again.
You look so much happier, Shawn.
Are you seeing someone?
Uh, I don't really think that's really...
Shawn Spencer has taken a lover.
Yay!
About time, we were worried about you.
Why don't you tell me about this?
Oh, look!
We looked so innocent back then.
Why can't I remember it?
You don't remember it?
Shawn, I'm insulted.
This was our moment.
Where was this photo taken?
No, no, no, no.
You guys have to figure that out for yourselves.
I'm not just going to tell you.
How much fun would that be?
Yin has taken another victim.
Her name is Allison Cowley.
If you've made all this progress, why don't you prove it to us?
If you want redemption, lead us to Yin and help us save this girl.
Color me intrigued.
Great.
Start talking.
No, Shawn.
That's not the way I work, you know that.
I'm just like you.
I need to feel, and touch, and see things with my own eyes.
Take me to the crime scene.
Oh, come on, that's impossible.
No, me hosting The View and making out with Elizabeth Hasselbeck is impossible.
This is not.
It's non-negotiable.
You're gonna take me there, I'm gonna tell you where I think Yin is, where he's holding the girl, et cetera.
Otherwise, I'm late for the afternoon movie.
They're screening Carbon Copy.
I can't resist a young Susan Saint James.
Spunky.
Yeah, I can't believe this.
Lassie, hey.
I need a smallish favor.
You remember a shirt that Shawn had as a kid?
It was a sky blue shirt with a dark blue collar.
Henry, what is this about?
Who would remember his shirts from childhood?
I do.
Almost all of them.
I just don't remember this one.
Now I know he stopped wearing shirts with brand names on them right after his ninth birthday.
Why do you know that?
Because we had an argument about it.
He didn't wanna promote products without being paid for it...
Maddy, do you remember the shirt or don't you?
What's going on, Henry?
You sound like a detective right now.
I am a detective.
Maddy, I don't want you to be alarmed, but this has to do with Yang.
Did she escape?
No, no, no, it's nothing like that.
She's safe, she's behind bars, it's just this photograph...
this picture...
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
I'm gonna handle it all.
Look, if Shawn is in trouble, you better tell me right now...
Maddy, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Wow.
So this is where it all began.
Boyhood nights, under the covers with a flashlight, making shadows on the ceiling dance, counting little lambs while you drifted off to sleep.
Oh, I wish I could go back in time.
And pinch those chubby little cheeks, and tell you nothing will be okay.
Start talking, Yang, or it's back to the rubber room.
What is Lassie think it is?
Shutter Island?
Either that or Tootsie.
Okay, okay, don't get your 1950s boxers in a twist, Carlton.
Come on, Shawn, let's do this together.
Mm.
You must've cared a lot about this girl to let her sleep in your bed.
Does your lover know?
I haven't taken a lover, okay?
Besides, my dad made the sleeping arrangements.
Oh, and they call me the sick one?
The girl wasn't dragged out of here, she was lifted out.
Was she drugged?
CSI said they found an alcohol swab.
So he was gentle with her.
Why?
He told me I was special.
Something different about this one.
She's special.
Exactly, Shawn.
See how well we work together?
So maybe he won't kill her.
Oh, no, he is definitely going to kill her.
He's just got something special planned.
Something fit for a grand finale.
So where would he have taken her?
Sadly, I have not been in contact with Yin.
Surprise, surprise, he hasn't visited me during my incarceration.
Then why the hell did we bring you here?
Because Shawn and I have a romantic history together.
And I deserve to see his bedroom.
That's it.
This circus is over.
Let's go.
Okay, ow!
Gosh.
Fine.
Sometimes it isn't something he leaves behind, the clue.
Sometimes it's something he takes with him.
Shawn.
What?
I've been in this room twice in the last 15 years, how am I supposed to know if something's missing?
Shawn, think.
Use your gift.
Go back in time and se...
sense the way things were.
What does this possibly have to do with Barbra Streisand?
Focus.
One of my army men.
It's facing the wrong direction.
My vinyl?
Meat is Murder, by The Smiths, 1984, Van Halen...
both missing.
Are you sure?
Of course I'm sure, they're clearly in order.
Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode, Thompson Twins...
What order are you using?
Sweetness.
Men Wthout Hats is cooler than Echo and the Bunnymen?
But more importantly, where are Devo and the Talking Heads in all this?
All right, let's just think about this for a second.
Meat is Murder, first track, The Headmaster Ritual.
Second track...
Wait a second.
1984 has Hot For Teacher.
The headmaster, teacher...
I live in an apartment off-campus.
I'm sensing that this is about her teacher.
Save Ferris.
Save Ferris.
Awesome, great.
Hey, this is Allison's class schedule.
Maybe you can...
'Cause Shawn and I have a romantic history together, and I deserve to see his bedroom.
Hey, Simoleum building, lecture hall C, where is it?
Are you serious?
Oh, no, I'm not.
Not very often!
If you hit lecture hall D, you've gone too far!
Karl Rotmensen!
You're wanted for questioning in the abduction of...
I'm not Karl Rotmensen, I'm just his substitute.
Where is he?
I don't know.
I don't know, I was just given his lesson to copy on the board.
Let me see some ID.
It's okay. "
A wily prin named Spencerton attempts to save lady Allison "from the evil clutches of the handsome, but vicious lord Yin".
What the hell is this?
It's an exercise, a writing essay.
The students can write the details of the story any way they want but they all have to use the same ending.
What is the ending?
The girl dies.
It's a real downer.
Professor Rotmensen has not shown up for his lecture since last week, so we brought in a sub.
He never called in sick and we never heard from him.
You never noticed anything strange about him?
Any odd behavior?
If you're asking me if he conducted himself like a serial killer, running around with shrunken heads, or wearing students' skin as a dress, then no.
We're talking about a highly intelligent man who was either tenured or an adjunct professor at every prestigious institution in California.
We were lucky to get him.
I'd hold off on naming a library after him just yet.
I don't suppose you have an address for him on file?
This is the only address on file.
Thank you, you've been very unhelpful.
I should've remembered the shirt.
I should've remembered a lot of things.
Look, Maddy, I...
I got on a plane, and I flew here, and now I'm standing here in your house.
This is where you make me a pot of your horrendous coffee.
It's gonna be a long night.
These are all the photographs I took that summer with my camera.
I've been through everything, twice, three times, I just can't find a match.
Mom!
What are you doing here?
Goose.
Your father called me.
I came here to help.
Dad, why in the hell would...
Shawn, she figured it out, she's here now, okay?
Let's focus on what's important.
We're gonna have to do this together.
Gus, Juliet...
Detective Lassiter.
Doctor.
All right, fine.
We got an address for Yin.
It was a field.
In the middle of the field was a box, inside the box was some VHS tapes.
We don't know what's on them, but we're about to find out.
I can't believe he led us to a cardboard box in the middle of a field.
That's such a blatant rip-off of Se7en.
We got lucky, it could've been Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Good thing you still had a VCR, Shawn.
I've got a laser disc player too.
Gus still has his Lite-Brite.
Hey, Shawn.
Guster.
So a lot of this stuff is just gonna be, you know, just some random thoughts that I'm having.
Ideas...
there'll be a lot of my personal poetry, and there'll be some observations on Yin and Yang.
What the hell is this?
It's his video diaries.
Yin must've stolen it from Mary's apartment when he broke in last year.
He kept them this whole time?
I suspect for this precise moment, to help us find him.
You're saying he wanted us to find him?
Yeah, I've been thinking why else take someone so close to home?
This feels like an exit strategy.
In other words, if we don't catch him now, we don't catch him.
Then let's pay attention.
Day one, hour one.
What is the deal with One Tree Hill?
I don't understand.
It's like a poorly-executed Dawson's Creek.
Why are they doing that?
Don't even get me started on Chad Michael Murray.
Too late, I'm gonna start in.
He has dead eyes.
Jasper Peaks, arrows and bows...
Is he wearing a monkey asskot?
It's a monkscot.
The tickle of a good friend's nose, and a tum tum filled with spaghettios.
Spencer, when do we turn this crap off?
There has to be a clue buried in here somewhere for me.
There has to be.
Whoa, wait a minute.
That's dated two nights before he was murdered.
No, Marian.
Okay, Shawn...
I might be loopy on too much string cheese right now, but I think I just realized something.
The reason that Yang's book rang false could be...
'cause she's a pawn in all this, okay.
She exhibits characteristics that are way more indicative of a victim than an aggressor, all right?
And we know she didn't do it alone, right?
Maybe she didn't do it at all.
I just think Yin is very, very angry with her for being caught.
Maybe even jealous of the infamy.
Shawn, I think Yin's about to take revenge of the highest malevolence.
And I'm worried.
Henry, wait a minute.
What?
What'd you find?
Remember that Instamatic you bought me for my photography class?
These are the pictures I took.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
Oh, my God.
It's her.
Whose car was this?
What were you doing there?
I think that CGI has ruined movie story-telling for all of us.
Is he wearing a onesie?
Yes.
I don't wanna say it's completely Michael Bay's fault, but that guy needs to be stopped 'cause it's all his fault.
Whoa, whoa.
That's Allison.
Where is she?
Those stairs seem to indicate a basement somewhere.
I was out looking for Shawn because he was late for dinner.
It was starting to rain and I met her.
She asked if she could have her picture taken with him.
And you let her?
She seemed so sad.
She said Shawn was the luckiest, most handsome boy she'd ever seen, and that he had kindness in his eyes.
I felt so bad for her.
I never saw her again.
I looked for her that week.
I put the picture in the mailbox, I never knew she ever got it.
Yeah, well, now we know she did.
Shawn!
Shawn, get down here!
We found it.
Your mom took this photograph.
It's a house, it's over on Grayson Street.
Grayson Street?
Oh, my God.
That was Yang?
This whole thing started three blocks away.
Come on, Gus!
No, Shawn...
Shawn, get back!
Shawn, get...
Damn it, Shawn.
Where the hell is Grayson Street?
Damn it, Shawn!
Maddy, stay here, lock both doors, do not leave.
The flag's up. "
Shawn and the salesman, "the key's under the mat, wipe your feet, come alone or the girl dies. "
Shawn...
We don't have a choice, Gus.
What is this about?
Is this about Shawn?
That's your mom's voice.
Is he okay?
Look, if Shawn is in trouble...
You better tell me right now because I...
Henry?
He must've tapped my dad's phone and recorded it.
Henry.
Henry, backup's on the way!
Allison.
Where is he?
It's okay, we're gonna get you outta here.
It's gonna be okay.
Shawn, nothing's gonna be okay.
Henry, what're you doing?
Henry!
Oh, my God.
I told him that I didn't think you would take the bait.
But I guess that's why he's the master.
And I'm the apprentice.
What do you say I give you a tour of the house?
Allison, don't do this.
You have been brainwashed.
Put the gun down, you could still have a life.
Save it, Pyramus.
You were so easy.
All I've heard is, "He's so worthy.
My greatest foe... "
Blah, blah, blah.
I bust out the pouty lips and puffy eyes, you fell for every neo-romantic cliche in the book.
Oh!
Go on.
Move.
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Go on.
Ow, wh...
Ow.
Ow.
There's no way in.
This place is like Fort Kknox.
Carlton!
It was in the mailbox.
Son of a bitch!
Call for the ram.
That'll just about do it.
I'd like to thank Mr.
Yin for letting me open up for him tonight.
It's been a blast.
I've got t-shirts and iron-ons for sale in the lobby.
Do you remember the precise moment that you knew you were a complete psychopath?
Shawn.
No, I'm interested.
Was it gradual, or did you just wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and see the chimp from Monkey Shines?
Ms.
Cowley, you're excused.
What?
No way am I missing this.
I did everything that you asked me to.
I was perfect.
I deserve this.
I won't ask again.
Well?
First impressions?
Hideous.
Arcane.
I must apologize for the lack of decorum on the part of my new colleague.
Kids, you know, these days.
However there is no substitute for enthusiasm, and hers is off the charts.
Even I shudder to think what she'll be capable of once I pass off the proverbial baton.
If only your good friend Yang had been as passionate.
Oh, well, no use crying over spilled soda.
Uh, what is going inside the syringe?
You should know that two famous 15th century knights of the Italian Renaissance...
I believe they were from the Este family of Ferrara...
met their deaths in those two very chairs.
Really?
No, I found them at a flea market in Oxnard.
But don't worry, Shawn, tonight we'll be making our own new style of history.
Are you ignoring my question on purpose?
Gus, do you really want to know?
Yes, Shawn, I'm very particular about what goes into my body.
It's probably safe to assume it's something lethal.
Is that accurate?
A box of Mars bars to you, Shawn.
How much longer are we gonna wait?
It's not my call, what the hell do you want me to do?
This is wrong.
O'Hara, every fiber of my being tells me this is a bad idea.
It's the only thing we have that Yin hasn't planned for, chief.
There's a hidden storm cellar.
I can get you into the house on two conditions.
You're in no position to negotiate terms.
What are they?
One, I go in with you alone, you need me to navigate.
Anything more and he's gonna know what we're up to, if he doesn't already.
What's number two?
I get another picture with Shawn, the other one is just too old.
O'Hara, listen to me, you don't have to do this.
Yes, I do.
Stay here, Carlton.
Girl time!
Okay, this is as far as I go unless the shackles come off.
Not happening.
That was not part of the deal.
Deals are meant to be broken, aren't they, Juliet?
Shawn has such kind eyes, don't you think?
What are you up to?
You don't trust me.
Of course not.
Well, you should.
I'm the only chance your boyfriend has of getting out of here alive.
Follow me!
Now to answer your question, Burton, what we have here is a little concoction I affectionately coined "the last kiss".
One part cyanide, one part strychnine, two parts atropine, with just a shake...
not stirred...
of boat cleaner.
And it's all for you.
That's not gonna work.
I can't watch him die, you'll have to kill me first.
You must be out of your damn mind if you think I'm gonna sit here and die after watching you die with some ridiculous grin on your face because you're thinking of sopapillas, or that stupid scene from Summer School where the students all pretend to be dead.
And do you have just the one needle?
Do you plan on sterilizing in between uses?
Surely you can't be serious.
I don't know where all you've been, Shawn.
Okay, chief, everything is fine we are inside the house.
Copy that.
And Juliet...
be careful.
Allison?
Detective O'Hara.
Uh, chief, I have Allison.
She's okay, I'm gonna bring her out.
Allison, are you hurt?
No.
Here, give me the gun, give me the gun.
Do you know where the others are?
Can you take me to them?
I don't know where Shawn and Gus are.
He drugged me with something, I just woke up, I don't know.
Okay, okay, everything's gonna be fine.
Everything's gonna be fine, I'm gonna take you out right now.
Don't stop, please.
You gotta get me outta here.
You said you just woke up, Allison.
Yeah, he drugged me or something.
So how did you know that Shawn and Gus were in this house?
I don't know what you're talking...
How did you know?
Not bad for a blonde.
What's going on?
We lost contact.
What?
O'Hara!
Break down the walls, do whatever it takes.
Ah!
Ah!
Since when am I an unclean person?
You rode halfway around the world on a motorcycle with a bumper sticker that said "pucker up and blow".
It was a little cartoon tuba.
With human lips.
That's enough.
You two are insufferable.
Don't you even breathe.
Only Burton gets the needle, I have something far more colorful in mind for you, Shawn.
Firing squad?
Please say firing squad.
I don't blame you, Shawn.
I want you to know that...
That if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
You're my best friend and we got a chance to live out our childhood dreams.
I don't blame you, okay?
And I'm sorry if I couldn't always cut loose the way you wanted me to.
You kill him, I kill you, you got it?
That race done did run, baby.
No, shouldn't you be launching into some kind of soliloquy, huh?
About why you do the things that you do, and why you picked me, and all that stuff?
I mean, I think I deserve an explanation here.
You're stalling, it's beneath you.
No, he isn't, we just appreciate a little closure before we say good-bye to Grover's Corners one last time.
That's right.
Whoa-whoa-whoa, what is that?
What is that, a Sesame Street reference?
No, Shawn.
You want to tell us, you can't help it.
It's called serial killer's prerogative.
You can't resist, it's protocol.
Very good, Don Cheadle, junior.
Yes, I suppose I didn't lure the two of you all the way over here just to flash you my folksy smile.
I bet you are so textbook.
Overbearing mommy lock you in a closet, huh?
Dissect small animals when you were a little kid?
Memorize episodes of Perfect Strangers line for line?
None of the above, Freud-zoid.
I could've gone either direction, but I chose to indulge the crazies.
I like to defy stereotypes at every turn.
I never jumped on the frozen yogurt train either.
Why did you pick me in the first place?
Because you were pretty good.
You were interesting.
You had a black side-kick, and that felt fun.
No, it was more than that.
You've been obsessed with me since I was a kid.
No, Yang.
Yang was obsessed with you, Shawn.
Yang.
I didn't even know who the hell you were until you started doing this shtick.
Yang took notice of the pre-pubescent you and developed an unhealthy crush.
Feelings are the enemy of efficiency, Shawn.
She betrayed me to save your mother, and that threw a serious wrench into the cogs of my career plans.
She broke my trust and she broke my heart, and for that, I blame you.
And now it's time to die.
Satisfied?
Ab...
Hi, daddy.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Did you read it, daddy?
Did you read my book?
No, I did not read your book, I was angry with you.
You guys really dropped the ball, huh?
We got played by the new you.
You replaced me?
Daddy, I'm your own flesh and blood, I just wanted you to be proud of me.
You betrayed me.
You chose him.
No, no, no, I just wanted us to be like a real family, like the Spencers.
A real family?
You're obsessed with a fairy tale, my dear, I taught you better.
No, you're right.
You're right, daddy.
I'm sorry.
I was sadly mistaken.
No.
No, Yang.
Don't listen to him, he doesn't control you.
Not anymore.
Daddy, I just wanna come home.
Can I come home now, daddy?
Yes, my darling girl, you can come home.
You can come home, come to daddy.
Come to daddy.
Come give daddy a big hug.
Yes, daddy loves you.
Here, sit on daddy's lap.
Ah!
I never loved you.
I know.
Don't move a muscle!
You guys all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Allison's crazy, though.
She's in on this.
Yeah, I learned that the hard way.
I was dead wrong, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God, are you all right?
Yeah.
You should see her.
She's gonna haunt me in my dreams, Shawn.
And not in a good way.
Well...
Well, what?
Yang.
You never actually killed anyone, did you?
I could've stopped him.
I was weak.
He raised you.
You never had a chance.
Come on.
Carlton, wait.
A deal's a deal.
Deal?
What deal?
Oh...
One more, one more, fast.
Let's go.
Good-bye, Shawn, good-bye, Gus.
And good-bye, Juliet.
Don't be strangers, we have badminton every Wednesday.
Well, I haven't played badminton...
No, Shawn.
I'll catch up with you later, Mr.
Spencer.
Goose!
We're okay.
McNabb...
You still here?
There was no way I was leaving here till this thing was over.
This has been a traumatic day.
Year, actually.
Just thinking about all of the...
Justice?
I was gonna say near-death experiences.
You don't feel anything?
Closure.
Indifference.
Hunger.
Wow.
You're like a robot.
Thank you.
I got the same comment on my eHarmony page so it must be true.
One thing you learn about me right off the bat, takes a lot more than a day like today to ruffle this bird's feathers.
Go home to your wife, McNabb, we start at 9:00 A.
M.
It's 7:00 right now.
Fine.
Come in an hour late.
Hey, there you are.
I finished writing my statement 20 minutes ago, Gus is in the car, engine on, wheels pointed towards pancakes.
Please, tell me you're in.
I can't write this.
I thought if I just had a moment to myself I could.
But it's just living it all over again, and...
I can't.
This is what you write. "
We did it".
Maybe you add an exclamation point if that doesn't feel too excessive.
I could quite possibly be elated very soon, but part of me just feels like we are just marking time till the next crazy rolls in.
Oh, yeah, of course we are.
But the next crazy's gonna be small potatoes compared to Yin.
Plus...
you have me now.
I know I may not appear that physically imposing at first blush, but it turns out I have the tenacity of a Swiss fox, and the instincts of a dragonfly.
You realize one of those is a rabbit and the other is an insect?
Yeah, that's why I chose them.