Programma Televisivo: Doctor Who - 1x7
Solar flare activity has increased across space lanes 556 and all commercial flights are advised.
.
.
THROBBING HUM So, it's 200, 000, it's a spaceship.
.
.
No, wait a minute, space STATION.
And, er.
.
.
Go try that gate over there!
200,000?
200,000.
Adam!
Out you come.
Oh, my God.
.
.
Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
Where are we?
Good question.
Let's see.
So, erm, judging by the architecture, I'd say we're around the year 200,000.
THROBBING And if you listen.
.
.
Engines.
We're on some sort of space station.
Yeah, definitely a space station.
It's a bit warm in here, they could turn the heating down.
Tell you what, let's try that gate.
Come on.
Here we go.
And this is.
.
.
I'll let the Doctor describe it.
The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire.
And there it is.
Planet Earth, at its height.
Covered with mega-cities, five moons, population 96 billion, the hub of a galactic domain stretching across a million planets, a million species, with mankind right in the middle.
He's your boyfriend.
Not any more.
Come on, Adam, open your mind.
You'll like this.
Fantastic period of history, the human race at its most intelligent.
Culture!
Art!
Politics!
This era has got fine food, good manners, the works.
.
.
Out the way!
Somebody there?
What do you want, love?
Keep it moving.
I'll be with you lot in a minute.
One at a time!
Now what was it?
Kronkburger with cheese, kronkburger with pajatos.
Oi!
You, mate!
stop pushing.
Get back!
I said back!
Fine cuisine?
My watch must be wrong.
No, it's fine.
That's weird.
That's showing off.
Your history's not that good.
My history is perfect.
Obviously not.
They're all human.
What about the millions of planets, the millions of species?
Good question.
That IS a good question.
Adam, me old mate, you must be starving!
No, I'm just a bit timesick.
You just need grub.
How much is a kronkburger?
Two credits twenty, sweetheart.
Now join the queue!
Money!
We need money.
Let's use a cashpoint.
HIGH-PITCHED TONE There you go, pocket money.
Don't spend it all on sweets.
Well, how does it work?
Go and find out, stop nagging me!
The thing is, Adam, time travel's like visiting Paris.
You can't just read the guidebook.
You've got to eat the food, get charged double and kiss complete strangers.
Or is that just me?
Stop asking questions, go and do it!
Off you go then.
Your first date.
You're gonna get a smack, you are!
Erm, this is gonna sound daft, but can you tell me where I am?
Floor 139.
Could they write it any bigger?
Floor 139 of what?
Must've been a hell of a party.
You're on Satellite Five.
And what's Satellite Five?
How could you get on board without knowing where you are?
I'm stupid!
Hold on, wait a minute.
.
.
Are you a test?
Some sort of management test kind of thing?
You've got me!
Well done!
You're too clever for me.
We were warned about this in basic training.
All workers have to be versed in company promotion.
Right, fire away, ask your questions.
If it gets me to Floor 500, I'll do anything.
What happens on Floor 500?
The walls are made of gold!
And you should know, Mr Management.
So.
.
.this is what we do.
Latest news!
Sandstorms on the New Venus Archipelago, 200 dead.
Glasgow water riots into their third day.
Spacelane 77 closed by sunspot activity.
Over on the Bad Wolf channel, The Face of Boe has just announced he's pregnant.
I get it.
You broadcast the news.
We ARE the news.
We're the journalists.
We write it, package it and sell it.
600 channels, all coming out of Satellite Five, broadcasting everywhere.
Something.
.
.
is wrong.
Something fictional.
Those people.
Nothing happens in the Empire without it going through us.
Security check.
Go deep.
'Staff are reminded that the canteen area now operates a self-cleaning table system.
Thank you.
' Try this, it's called zaffic.
It's nice, like, erm, a Slush Puppy.
What flavour?
It's sort of beef.
Oh, my God!
It's like everything's gone.
Home, family.
.
.
Everything.
This helps.
The Doctor gave it a bit of a top-up.
Who's back home, your mum and dad?
Yeah.
Phone 'em up.
But that's 198, 000 years ago.
Honestly, try it.
Go on.
Is there a code for planet Earth?
Just dial!
TELEPHONE RINGS 'I'm sorry, we're not in.
Please leave a message.
Thanks, bye!
' Erm.
.
.hi!
It.
.
.it's me.
'I've sort of gone travelling.
'I met these people and we're travelling together' but, erm, I'm fine.
And I'll call you later.
Love you.
Bye.
KLAXON SOUNDS Oi, Mutt and Jeff!
Over 'ere!
'Security check cleared.
' No, something's wrong!
I can taste it.
A tiny little shift in the information.
Someone down there shouldn't be here.
Double check.
Triple check.
Follow them.
Now everybody behave, we have a management inspection.
How d'you want it, by the book?
Right from scratch, thanks.
OK.
So!
Ladies, gentlemen, multisex, undecided or robot, my name is Cathica Santini Khadeni.
That's Cathica with a C, in case you want to write to Floor 500, praising me.
And please do.
Now, please feel free to ask any questions.
The process of news gathering must be open, honest and beyond bias.
That's company policy.
Actually, erm, it's the law.
Yes, thank you, Suki.
OK, keep it calm.
Don't show off for the guests.
Here we go.
And.
.
.
engage safety.
HUMMING And three.
.
.
two.
.
.and spike!
Compressed information.
Streaming into her!
Reports from every city, every country, every planet, and they all get packaged inside her head.
She becomes part of the software.
Her brain IS the computer!
If it all goes through her, she must be a genius.
Nah, she wouldn't remember any of it.
There's too much.
Her head'd blow up!
The brain's the processor.
Soon as it closes, she forgets.
What about these people round the edge?
They've all got tiny little chips in their head, connecting them to her.
And they transmit.
600 channels.
Every single fact in the Empire beams out of this place.
Now that's what I call power.
'Analysis confirmed.
Security breach.
' I knew it!
Which one?
It's someone inside that room, which one?
'Isolating breach.
' Come on.
Show me!
Who is it?
You all right?
I can see her brain.
D'you wanna get out?
No, but this.
.
.
this technology, it's.
.
.
amazing.
This technology's wrong.
Trouble?
Oh, yeah.
BEEPING That's it!
Ho, ho, ho, yes!
She's the liar!
Intercept and scan.
Gotcha!
Come off it, Suki, I wasn't even halfway!
What was that for?
Sorry.
It must've been a glitch.
Her information's been tampered with.
There's a second biography hidden underneath.
Grrr!
Yes, sir.
Absolutely, sir.
Yeah, her data was encrypted, so there's no way we could've found her sooner.
Grrr!
Yeah, sorry, I.
.
.yeah, sorry, sir.
GRRR!
Yeah, absolutely.
Get her up here!
Now!
Promotion.
Come on, this is it, come on!
Oh, my God, make it me!
Come on, say my name, say my name, say my name!
Promotion for.
.
.
Suki Macrae Cantrell.
Please proceed to floor 500.
I don't believe it!
Floor 500!
How the hell did you manage that?
I'm above you!
I don't know, I just applied on the off chance.
And they've said yes!
Oh, it's so not fair, I've been applying to Floor 500 for three years!
What's Floor 500?
The walls are made of gold.
Cathica, I'm gonna miss you.
Floor 500!
Thank you!
I didn't do anything!
You're my lucky charm!
All right, I'll hug anyone!
Come on, it's not that bad.
What?
With the.
.
.the head-thing?
!
Yeah, well, she's closed it now.
Yeah, but.
.
.
It's everything.
It freaks me out.
And I just need to.
.
.
ah, if I could just.
.
.
cool down.
Sort of acclimatise.
How d'you mean?
Maybe I could just go and sit on the observation deck.
Would that be all right?
Soak it in, y'know.
Pretend I'm a citizen of the year 200, 000.
D'you want me to come with ya?
No, no, you stick with the Doctor.
You'd rather be with him.
It's gonna take a better man than me to get between you two.
Anyway.
.
.
I'll be on the deck.
Here you go, take the Tardis key.
Just in case it gets a bit too much.
Yeah, like it's not weird in there.
Oh my God, I've got to go!
I can't keep them waiting.
I'm sorry!
Say goodbye to Steve for me.
Bye!
Good riddance!
You're talking like you'll never see her again.
We won't.
Once you go to Floor 500, you never come back.
Have you ever been up there?
Can't.
You need a key for the lift, and you only get a key with promotion.
No-one gets to 500, except for the chosen few.
SHE SCREAMS Who are you?
I'm the Editor.
What's happening?
There are bodies out there.
What's going on?
While we're asking questions, would you please confirm your name?
'My name is Suki Macrae Cantrell.
I was born 199 apostrophe 89 in the Independent Republic of Morocco.
' Liar!
'Hobbies include reading and archaeology.
'I'm not an expert or anything, I just like digging.
' Liar!
'I want to work for Satellite Five because my sister can't afford university, 'and the pay-scheme is really good.
.
.
' LIAR!
Let's look at the facts, shall we?
Hidden behind a genetic graft, but that's still you.
Eva Saint Julienne, last surviving member of the Freedom Fifteen.
Mmm, self-declared anarchist, is that right?
Who controls Satellite Five?
There's the truth!
The Freedom Foundation has been monitoring Satellite Five's transmissions.
We have absolute proof that the facts are being manipulated.
YOU are lying to the people!
Oooh, I love it!
Say it again!
This whole system is corrupt.
Who do you represent?
I'm merely a humble slave.
I answer to the Editor In Chief.
Who is he, where is he?
He's overseeing everything.
Literally everything.
If you don't mind, I'm gonna have to refer this upwards.
Grrr!
What is that?
Your boss.
This has always been your boss.
Since the day you were born.
Give me access.
Give me.
.
.
I can learn anything.
Let's try, erm, computers.
From the 21st century to the present day, give me the history of the microprocessor.
Oh my God.
They only give us twenty minutes maintenance, can't you give it a rest?
But you've never been to another floor?
Not even one floor down?
I went to Floor 16 when I first arrived, that's Medical, that's where I got my head done and then I.
.
.I came straight here.
Satellite Five.
You work, eat and sleep on the same floor, that's it.
You're not management, are you?
At last, she's clever!
Whatever it is, don't involve me.
I don't know anything.
Don't you even ask?
Why would I?
You're a journalist!
Why's all the crew human?
What's that got to do with anything?
There's no aliens on board.
Why?
I dunno, no real reason.
They're not banned.
Then where are they?
Immigration's tightened up.
.
.
It's had to, with all the threats.
What threats?
I dunno, all of them.
Usual stuff.
The price of spacewarp doubled, so that kept the visitors away.
Oh, and the government on Chavic Fice collapsed, so that lot stopped coming, y'see?
Lots of little reasons, that's all.
Adding up to one great big fact.
And you didn't even notice.
Doctor, I think if there was any sort of conspiracy, Satellite Five would have seen it.
We see everything.
I can see better.
This society's the wrong shape, even the technology.
It's cutting edge!
There's a door in your head!
Should've chucked this out years ago!
What's going on?
It's not just this space station, it's the way people think.
The Great and Bountiful Human Empire, something's holding it back.
And how would you know?
Humanity's been set back about 90 years.
When did Satellite Five start broadcasting?
91 years ago.
Mum, Dad, keep this message, OK?
Whatever you do, don't erase it.
Save it, you got that?
The microprocessor became redundant in the year 2019, replaced by a system called SMT - that's Single Molecule Transcription.
No, no, no, no, no!
What are you doing?
Come back, come.
.
.
Why are you doing that?
What's Floor 16?
What's down there?
Sorry, erm.
.
.
Floor 16, that's, erm.
.
.
What do you cover?
Medical non-emergency.
Right!
Wrong floor.
I'm having technical difficulties, my screen keeps freezing, locking me out.
No, that's medical.
There must be something wrong with your chip.
Yes!
Yeah, of course, yeah!
I haven't got one.
No wonder you can't get a screen to work.
What are you, a.
.
.student?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm, erm.
.
.
I'm on a research project.
.
.
from the University of Mars.
The Martian boondocks, typical.
Yep!
Well, you still need chipping.
So, does that mean, like.
.
.
brain surgery?
That's an old-fashioned phrase, but it's the same thing, yes.
Oh!
OK.
Never mind.
But if I get a chip, that means I could use any computer?
Absolutely.
You'll have to pay for it.
They've stopped subsidising.
Oh, right, sorry.
Wasting your time.
Thanks.
Hold on!
Can I use this?
That'll do nicely.
It all comes down to two basic types.
Type one, the head-chip, inserted into the back of the skull, one hundred credits.
There's the chip.
Tiny, invisible, no scarring.
Type two is the full info-spike.
Oh, erm, that's the.
.
.
.
.thing.
That's the one.
It does cost 10, 000.
Oh, well I, erm, I couldn't afford it then.
Not at all.
Turns out you've got unlimited credit.
No, but I.
.
.well, I couldn't have it done.
I mean.
.
.that's gotta hurt, hasn't it?
Painless.
Contractual guarantee.
No, my.
.
.my mate's waiting upstairs, I can't have major surgery.
It takes ten minutes.
That sort of money buys a very fast picosurgeon.
No, but I.
.
.
I couldn't though, no.
Type one, you can interface with a simple computer.
Type two, you ARE the computer.
You can transmit any piece of information from the archive of Satellite Five, which is just about the entire history of the human race.
Now.
.
.
.
.which one's it going to be?
We're so gonna get in trouble.
You're not allowed to touch the mainframe, we'll get told off.
Rose, tell her to button it.
You can't vandalise the place, someone's gonna notice!
I don't understand!
We did a full security scan.
That man was there when we found Suki Macrae Cantrell.
There were no indications about him.
And yet here he is.
Clearly acting outside the parameters.
Fascinating!
Grrr!
Yes, sir!
Absolutely!
At once!
Check him.
Double check him, triple check him, quadruple!
This is nothing to do with me, I'm going back to work.
Go on then, see ya!
I can't just leave you, can I?
If you want to be useful, get them to turn the heating down, it's boiling.
Can't they do something about it?
We keep asking.
Something to do with the turbines. "
Something to do with the turbines".
I don't know!
Exactly.
I give up on you, Cathica.
Now, Rose, look at Rose.
Rose is asking the right kind of questions.
I thank you.
Why is it so hot?
One minute you worry about the Empire, the next it's the central heating!
Oh, never underestimate plumbing.
Plumbing is very important.
'Security scan complete.
' Well, who is he?
'He is no-one.
' What does THAT mean?
'He is no-one.
' What, you mean he has a fake ID?
'He has no identification.
' But everyone's registered.
We have a census for the entire Empire!
'He is no-one.
' What, he doesn't exist?
Not anywhere?
'He is no-one.
' What about the blonde?
'She is no-one.
' BOTH of them?!
Well, we all know what happens to non-entities.
They get promoted.
Bring them up!
Here we go.
Satellite Five.
Pipes and plumbing.
Look at the layout.
This is ridiculous.
You've got access to the computer's core.
You could look at the archive, the news, the stock exchange.
.
.
And you're looking at pipes?
But there's something wrong.
I suppose.
.
.
Why, what is it?
The ventilation system.
Cooling ducts.
Ice filters.
All working flat out.
Channelling massive amounts of heat down.
All the way from the top.
Floor 500.
Something up there is generating tons and tons of heat.
Don't know about you but I feel I'm missing out on a party.
It's all going on upstairs.
Fancy a trip?
You can't, you need a key.
Keys are just codes.
And I've got the codes right here.
Here we go.
Override 215.9.
How come it's giving YOU the code?
Someone up there likes me.
I told you it was painless.
No scarring, you see?
Perfect success.
How do I.
.
.activate it?
It's a personal choice.
Some people whistle.
I know one man who triggers it with "Oh, Danny Boy".
But you're set on default for now.
That's a click of the fingers.
You mean I just.
.
.
?
Click.
Come on, come with us.
No way!
Bye!
Well, don't mention my name.
When you get in trouble, just don't involve me.
That's her gone.
Adam's given up.
Looks like it's just you and me.
Yeah.
Good.
Yep.
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna be sick!
HE RETCHES Special offer.
We installed the vomit-o-matic at the same time.
Nano-termites have been placed in the lining of your throat.
In the event of sickness.
.
.
they freeze the waste.
The walls are not made of gold.
You should go back downstairs.
Tough.
I started without you.
This is fascinating.
Satellite Five contains every piece of information within the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire.
Birth certificates, shopping habits, bank statements, but you two.
.
.
You don't exist.
There's not a trace.
No birth, no job, not the slightest kiss.
How can you walk through the world and not leave a single footprint?
Suki.
.
.Suki!
Hello?
Can you hear me?
Suki?
What have you done to her?
I think she's dead.
But she's.
.
.working.
They've all got chips in their head.
And the chips keep going.
Like puppets.
Oh!
You're full of information, but it's only fair we get some information back.
Because, apparently, you're no-one.
It's so rare, not to know something.
Who are you?
It doesn't matter, cos we're off.
Nice to meet you.
Come on!
Tell me who you are!
Since that information's keeping us alive, I'm hardly gonna say.
Well, perhaps my Editor In Chief can convince you otherwise.
And who's that?
It may interest you to know that this is NOT the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire.
In fact, it's not actually human at all.
It's merely a place where humans happen to live.
Grrr!
Yep.
Yep.
Sorry!
It's a place where humans are allowed to live, by kind permission of my client.
Grrr!
What is that?
You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?
That "thing", as you put it, is in charge of the human race.
For almost 100 years, mankind has been shaped and guided.
His knowledge and ambition, strictly controlled, by its broadcast news.
Edited by my superior, your master, and humanity's guiding light, The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe.
I call him Max!
Create a climate of fear, and it's easy to keep the borders closed.
It's just a matter of emphasis.
The right word in the right broadcast repeated often enough can destabilise an economy.
Invent an enemy.
Change a vote.
So all the people on Earth are like.
.
.slaves?
Well, now, there's an interesting point.
Is a slave a slave if he doesn't know he's enslaved?
Yes.
Oh, I was hoping for a philosophical debate.
Is that all I'm gonna get? "
Yes"?
Yes.
You're no fun.
Let me out of these manacles.
You'll find out how much fun I am.
Oh, he's tough, isn't he?
!
But come on!
Isn't it a great system?
You've got to admire it, just a bit.
You can't hide something on this scale, somebody must've noticed.
From time to time, someone, yes.
But the computer-chip system allows me to see inside their brains.
I can see the smallest doubt.
And crush it!
And then they just carry on, living the life, strutting about downstairs and all over the surface of the Earth, like they're SO individual.
When, of course, they're not.
They're just cattle.
In that respect, the Jagrafess hasn't changed a thing.
But what about you?
You're not a Jagra.
.
.er.
.
.belly.
Jagrafess.
Jagrafess.
You're not a Jagrafess.
You're human.
Yeah, well, simply being human doesn't pay very well.
But you couldn't have done this all on your own.
No!
I represent a consortium of banks.
Money prefers a long-term investment.
Also the Jagrafess needed a little hand, to, erm, install himself.
No wonder, creature that size.
What's its lifespan?
3,000 years.
That's one hell of a metabolism.
Generating all that heat.
That's why Satellite Five's so hot.
You pump it out of the creature, channel it downstairs, Jagrafess stays cool, stays alive.
Satellite Five is one great big life-support system.
HE DIALS 'Me again.
Don't wipe this message.
' It's just gonna sound like white noise, but save it, cos I can translate it, OK?
Three, two, one, and spike!
But THAT'S why you're so dangerous.
Knowledge is power, but you remain unknown.
ELECTRICAL SURGE Who are you?
Leave her alone!
I'm the Doctor.
She's Rose Tyler, we're nothing, we're just wandering.
Tell me who you are!
I've just said!
Yeah, but who do you work for?
Who sent you?
Who knows about us?
Who exactly.
.
.
?
Time Lord.
What?
Oh, yes!
The last of the Time Lords.
And his travelling machine.
With his little human girl from long ago.
Don't know what you're talking about.
Time travel!
HE SCREAMS Someone's been telling you lies.
Young master Adam Mitchell?
ADAM SCREAMS Oh, my God, his head.
.
.
What the hell's he done?
What the hell's he gone and done?
They're reading his mind, he's telling them everything.
And through HIM, I know everything about YOU.
Every piece of information in his head is now mine.
And YOU have infinite knowledge, Doctor.
The Human Empire is tiny, compared to what you've seen in your T, A, R, D, I, S.
.
.
Tardis!
Well, you'll never get your hands on it, I'll die first!
Well, die all you like, I don't need ya!
I've got the key!
You and your boyfriends!
Today, WE are the headlines.
We can re-write history.
We could prevent mankind from developing.
And no-one's gonna stop you.
Because you've bred a human race which doesn't bother to ask questions.
Stupid little slaves believing every lie.
They'll just trot right into the slaughterhouse if they're told it's made of gold.
Grrr!
Disengage safety.
ALARM SOUNDS What's happening?
Maximum access, override Floor 139.
And.
.
.spike!
Someone's disengaged the safety.
Who's that?
It's Cathica.
And she's thinking!
She's using what she knows.
Terminate her access!
Everything I told her about Satellite Five, the pipes, the filters, she's reversing it!
Look at that.
It's getting hot.
I said, terminate!
Burn out her mind!
Oh no you don't!
You should've promoted me years back!
She's venting the heat up here.
The Jagrafess needs to stay cool and now it's sitting on top of a volcano!
GRRR!
Oh, um, yes, I'm trying, sir, but I don't know how she did it, it's impossible!
A member of staff with an idea!
What do I do?
Flick the switch!
ALARM SOUNDS Oi, mate!
You want to bank on a certainty?
Massive heat, in a massive body.
.
.
Massive bang!
See you in the headlines!
If it's all the same to you, I think I'll resign.
Bye, then.
Let go of me!
Let go of me!
Let go of me!
We're just gonna go, I hate tidying up.
Too many questions.
You'll manage.
You'll have to stay and explain it, no-one's gonna believe me.
Why, they might believe a lot of things.
Human race should accelerate.
All back to normal.
What about your friend?
He's not my friend.
Now, don't.
.
.
I'm all right now.
Much better.
And I've got the key.
Look, it's.
.
.
And, well.
.
.
it all worked out for the best, didn't it?
You know it's not actually my fault because you were in charge.
It's my house!
I'm home.
Oh, my God, I'm home!
Blimey.
I thought you were gonna chuck me out of an airlock.
Is there something else you want to tell me?
No.
Erm, what d'you mean?
The archive of Satellite Five.
One second of that message could've changed the world.
That's it then.
See ya.
How d'you mean, "see ya"?
As in, goodbye.
What about me?
You can't just go, I've got my head.
I've got a chip type two, my head opens!
What, like this?
Don't!
Don't do what?
Stop it!
All right now, Doctor.
That's enough.
Stop it.
Thank you.
Oi!
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
The whole of history could've changed because of you.
I just wanted to help.
You were helping yourself.
I've said I'm sorry, and I am, I really am.
But you can't just leave me like this.
Yes, I can.
'Cos if you show that head to anyone, they'll dissect you in seconds.
You'll have to live a very quiet life.
Keep out of trouble.
Be average.
Unseen.
Good luck.
But I wanna come with you.
I only take the best.
I've got Rose.
Rose, Rose!
Oh, my God!
Who's that?
Geoff, is that you?
It's me, Mum.
Don't come in, wait there a minute.
Oh, my Lord!
You never told me you were coming home!
Hold on, I'll just take my coat off!
I wish you'd told me you were coming home.
Rose, take me with you.
I would've got your favourite tea in.
THROBBING HUM What's that noise?
Have you left the back door open?
Blimey, there's a draught.
What a surprise!
Oh, let me look at you.
Aw, six months.
It's like I saw you yesterday.
Isn't it funny?
The time goes by like that.
CLICK WHIRR!
Your wish is my command, but be careful what you wish for.
The day my father died.
I thought it would be grim and stormy, it's just an ordinary day.
Oh, gosh, this is it!
He can't die on his own!
Can I try again?
Oh, gosh, this is it.
Rose!
No!
I did it again, I picked another stupid ape!
It's not like I've changed history.
Rose, there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before.
The whole world's different because he's alive!
Time's been damaged and they've come to sterilise the wound.
Rose, get in the church!
Subtitles by Chris Boyd BBC Broadcast 2005 SUBTITLES CONVERSION BY REIREI
.
.
THROBBING HUM So, it's 200, 000, it's a spaceship.
.
.
No, wait a minute, space STATION.
And, er.
.
.
Go try that gate over there!
200,000?
200,000.
Adam!
Out you come.
Oh, my God.
.
.
Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
Where are we?
Good question.
Let's see.
So, erm, judging by the architecture, I'd say we're around the year 200,000.
THROBBING And if you listen.
.
.
Engines.
We're on some sort of space station.
Yeah, definitely a space station.
It's a bit warm in here, they could turn the heating down.
Tell you what, let's try that gate.
Come on.
Here we go.
And this is.
.
.
I'll let the Doctor describe it.
The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire.
And there it is.
Planet Earth, at its height.
Covered with mega-cities, five moons, population 96 billion, the hub of a galactic domain stretching across a million planets, a million species, with mankind right in the middle.
He's your boyfriend.
Not any more.
Come on, Adam, open your mind.
You'll like this.
Fantastic period of history, the human race at its most intelligent.
Culture!
Art!
Politics!
This era has got fine food, good manners, the works.
.
.
Out the way!
Somebody there?
What do you want, love?
Keep it moving.
I'll be with you lot in a minute.
One at a time!
Now what was it?
Kronkburger with cheese, kronkburger with pajatos.
Oi!
You, mate!
stop pushing.
Get back!
I said back!
Fine cuisine?
My watch must be wrong.
No, it's fine.
That's weird.
That's showing off.
Your history's not that good.
My history is perfect.
Obviously not.
They're all human.
What about the millions of planets, the millions of species?
Good question.
That IS a good question.
Adam, me old mate, you must be starving!
No, I'm just a bit timesick.
You just need grub.
How much is a kronkburger?
Two credits twenty, sweetheart.
Now join the queue!
Money!
We need money.
Let's use a cashpoint.
HIGH-PITCHED TONE There you go, pocket money.
Don't spend it all on sweets.
Well, how does it work?
Go and find out, stop nagging me!
The thing is, Adam, time travel's like visiting Paris.
You can't just read the guidebook.
You've got to eat the food, get charged double and kiss complete strangers.
Or is that just me?
Stop asking questions, go and do it!
Off you go then.
Your first date.
You're gonna get a smack, you are!
Erm, this is gonna sound daft, but can you tell me where I am?
Floor 139.
Could they write it any bigger?
Floor 139 of what?
Must've been a hell of a party.
You're on Satellite Five.
And what's Satellite Five?
How could you get on board without knowing where you are?
I'm stupid!
Hold on, wait a minute.
.
.
Are you a test?
Some sort of management test kind of thing?
You've got me!
Well done!
You're too clever for me.
We were warned about this in basic training.
All workers have to be versed in company promotion.
Right, fire away, ask your questions.
If it gets me to Floor 500, I'll do anything.
What happens on Floor 500?
The walls are made of gold!
And you should know, Mr Management.
So.
.
.this is what we do.
Latest news!
Sandstorms on the New Venus Archipelago, 200 dead.
Glasgow water riots into their third day.
Spacelane 77 closed by sunspot activity.
Over on the Bad Wolf channel, The Face of Boe has just announced he's pregnant.
I get it.
You broadcast the news.
We ARE the news.
We're the journalists.
We write it, package it and sell it.
600 channels, all coming out of Satellite Five, broadcasting everywhere.
Something.
.
.
is wrong.
Something fictional.
Those people.
Nothing happens in the Empire without it going through us.
Security check.
Go deep.
'Staff are reminded that the canteen area now operates a self-cleaning table system.
Thank you.
' Try this, it's called zaffic.
It's nice, like, erm, a Slush Puppy.
What flavour?
It's sort of beef.
Oh, my God!
It's like everything's gone.
Home, family.
.
.
Everything.
This helps.
The Doctor gave it a bit of a top-up.
Who's back home, your mum and dad?
Yeah.
Phone 'em up.
But that's 198, 000 years ago.
Honestly, try it.
Go on.
Is there a code for planet Earth?
Just dial!
TELEPHONE RINGS 'I'm sorry, we're not in.
Please leave a message.
Thanks, bye!
' Erm.
.
.hi!
It.
.
.it's me.
'I've sort of gone travelling.
'I met these people and we're travelling together' but, erm, I'm fine.
And I'll call you later.
Love you.
Bye.
KLAXON SOUNDS Oi, Mutt and Jeff!
Over 'ere!
'Security check cleared.
' No, something's wrong!
I can taste it.
A tiny little shift in the information.
Someone down there shouldn't be here.
Double check.
Triple check.
Follow them.
Now everybody behave, we have a management inspection.
How d'you want it, by the book?
Right from scratch, thanks.
OK.
So!
Ladies, gentlemen, multisex, undecided or robot, my name is Cathica Santini Khadeni.
That's Cathica with a C, in case you want to write to Floor 500, praising me.
And please do.
Now, please feel free to ask any questions.
The process of news gathering must be open, honest and beyond bias.
That's company policy.
Actually, erm, it's the law.
Yes, thank you, Suki.
OK, keep it calm.
Don't show off for the guests.
Here we go.
And.
.
.
engage safety.
HUMMING And three.
.
.
two.
.
.and spike!
Compressed information.
Streaming into her!
Reports from every city, every country, every planet, and they all get packaged inside her head.
She becomes part of the software.
Her brain IS the computer!
If it all goes through her, she must be a genius.
Nah, she wouldn't remember any of it.
There's too much.
Her head'd blow up!
The brain's the processor.
Soon as it closes, she forgets.
What about these people round the edge?
They've all got tiny little chips in their head, connecting them to her.
And they transmit.
600 channels.
Every single fact in the Empire beams out of this place.
Now that's what I call power.
'Analysis confirmed.
Security breach.
' I knew it!
Which one?
It's someone inside that room, which one?
'Isolating breach.
' Come on.
Show me!
Who is it?
You all right?
I can see her brain.
D'you wanna get out?
No, but this.
.
.
this technology, it's.
.
.
amazing.
This technology's wrong.
Trouble?
Oh, yeah.
BEEPING That's it!
Ho, ho, ho, yes!
She's the liar!
Intercept and scan.
Gotcha!
Come off it, Suki, I wasn't even halfway!
What was that for?
Sorry.
It must've been a glitch.
Her information's been tampered with.
There's a second biography hidden underneath.
Grrr!
Yes, sir.
Absolutely, sir.
Yeah, her data was encrypted, so there's no way we could've found her sooner.
Grrr!
Yeah, sorry, I.
.
.yeah, sorry, sir.
GRRR!
Yeah, absolutely.
Get her up here!
Now!
Promotion.
Come on, this is it, come on!
Oh, my God, make it me!
Come on, say my name, say my name, say my name!
Promotion for.
.
.
Suki Macrae Cantrell.
Please proceed to floor 500.
I don't believe it!
Floor 500!
How the hell did you manage that?
I'm above you!
I don't know, I just applied on the off chance.
And they've said yes!
Oh, it's so not fair, I've been applying to Floor 500 for three years!
What's Floor 500?
The walls are made of gold.
Cathica, I'm gonna miss you.
Floor 500!
Thank you!
I didn't do anything!
You're my lucky charm!
All right, I'll hug anyone!
Come on, it's not that bad.
What?
With the.
.
.the head-thing?
!
Yeah, well, she's closed it now.
Yeah, but.
.
.
It's everything.
It freaks me out.
And I just need to.
.
.
ah, if I could just.
.
.
cool down.
Sort of acclimatise.
How d'you mean?
Maybe I could just go and sit on the observation deck.
Would that be all right?
Soak it in, y'know.
Pretend I'm a citizen of the year 200, 000.
D'you want me to come with ya?
No, no, you stick with the Doctor.
You'd rather be with him.
It's gonna take a better man than me to get between you two.
Anyway.
.
.
I'll be on the deck.
Here you go, take the Tardis key.
Just in case it gets a bit too much.
Yeah, like it's not weird in there.
Oh my God, I've got to go!
I can't keep them waiting.
I'm sorry!
Say goodbye to Steve for me.
Bye!
Good riddance!
You're talking like you'll never see her again.
We won't.
Once you go to Floor 500, you never come back.
Have you ever been up there?
Can't.
You need a key for the lift, and you only get a key with promotion.
No-one gets to 500, except for the chosen few.
SHE SCREAMS Who are you?
I'm the Editor.
What's happening?
There are bodies out there.
What's going on?
While we're asking questions, would you please confirm your name?
'My name is Suki Macrae Cantrell.
I was born 199 apostrophe 89 in the Independent Republic of Morocco.
' Liar!
'Hobbies include reading and archaeology.
'I'm not an expert or anything, I just like digging.
' Liar!
'I want to work for Satellite Five because my sister can't afford university, 'and the pay-scheme is really good.
.
.
' LIAR!
Let's look at the facts, shall we?
Hidden behind a genetic graft, but that's still you.
Eva Saint Julienne, last surviving member of the Freedom Fifteen.
Mmm, self-declared anarchist, is that right?
Who controls Satellite Five?
There's the truth!
The Freedom Foundation has been monitoring Satellite Five's transmissions.
We have absolute proof that the facts are being manipulated.
YOU are lying to the people!
Oooh, I love it!
Say it again!
This whole system is corrupt.
Who do you represent?
I'm merely a humble slave.
I answer to the Editor In Chief.
Who is he, where is he?
He's overseeing everything.
Literally everything.
If you don't mind, I'm gonna have to refer this upwards.
Grrr!
What is that?
Your boss.
This has always been your boss.
Since the day you were born.
Give me access.
Give me.
.
.
I can learn anything.
Let's try, erm, computers.
From the 21st century to the present day, give me the history of the microprocessor.
Oh my God.
They only give us twenty minutes maintenance, can't you give it a rest?
But you've never been to another floor?
Not even one floor down?
I went to Floor 16 when I first arrived, that's Medical, that's where I got my head done and then I.
.
.I came straight here.
Satellite Five.
You work, eat and sleep on the same floor, that's it.
You're not management, are you?
At last, she's clever!
Whatever it is, don't involve me.
I don't know anything.
Don't you even ask?
Why would I?
You're a journalist!
Why's all the crew human?
What's that got to do with anything?
There's no aliens on board.
Why?
I dunno, no real reason.
They're not banned.
Then where are they?
Immigration's tightened up.
.
.
It's had to, with all the threats.
What threats?
I dunno, all of them.
Usual stuff.
The price of spacewarp doubled, so that kept the visitors away.
Oh, and the government on Chavic Fice collapsed, so that lot stopped coming, y'see?
Lots of little reasons, that's all.
Adding up to one great big fact.
And you didn't even notice.
Doctor, I think if there was any sort of conspiracy, Satellite Five would have seen it.
We see everything.
I can see better.
This society's the wrong shape, even the technology.
It's cutting edge!
There's a door in your head!
Should've chucked this out years ago!
What's going on?
It's not just this space station, it's the way people think.
The Great and Bountiful Human Empire, something's holding it back.
And how would you know?
Humanity's been set back about 90 years.
When did Satellite Five start broadcasting?
91 years ago.
Mum, Dad, keep this message, OK?
Whatever you do, don't erase it.
Save it, you got that?
The microprocessor became redundant in the year 2019, replaced by a system called SMT - that's Single Molecule Transcription.
No, no, no, no, no!
What are you doing?
Come back, come.
.
.
Why are you doing that?
What's Floor 16?
What's down there?
Sorry, erm.
.
.
Floor 16, that's, erm.
.
.
What do you cover?
Medical non-emergency.
Right!
Wrong floor.
I'm having technical difficulties, my screen keeps freezing, locking me out.
No, that's medical.
There must be something wrong with your chip.
Yes!
Yeah, of course, yeah!
I haven't got one.
No wonder you can't get a screen to work.
What are you, a.
.
.student?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm, erm.
.
.
I'm on a research project.
.
.
from the University of Mars.
The Martian boondocks, typical.
Yep!
Well, you still need chipping.
So, does that mean, like.
.
.
brain surgery?
That's an old-fashioned phrase, but it's the same thing, yes.
Oh!
OK.
Never mind.
But if I get a chip, that means I could use any computer?
Absolutely.
You'll have to pay for it.
They've stopped subsidising.
Oh, right, sorry.
Wasting your time.
Thanks.
Hold on!
Can I use this?
That'll do nicely.
It all comes down to two basic types.
Type one, the head-chip, inserted into the back of the skull, one hundred credits.
There's the chip.
Tiny, invisible, no scarring.
Type two is the full info-spike.
Oh, erm, that's the.
.
.
.
.thing.
That's the one.
It does cost 10, 000.
Oh, well I, erm, I couldn't afford it then.
Not at all.
Turns out you've got unlimited credit.
No, but I.
.
.well, I couldn't have it done.
I mean.
.
.that's gotta hurt, hasn't it?
Painless.
Contractual guarantee.
No, my.
.
.my mate's waiting upstairs, I can't have major surgery.
It takes ten minutes.
That sort of money buys a very fast picosurgeon.
No, but I.
.
.
I couldn't though, no.
Type one, you can interface with a simple computer.
Type two, you ARE the computer.
You can transmit any piece of information from the archive of Satellite Five, which is just about the entire history of the human race.
Now.
.
.
.
.which one's it going to be?
We're so gonna get in trouble.
You're not allowed to touch the mainframe, we'll get told off.
Rose, tell her to button it.
You can't vandalise the place, someone's gonna notice!
I don't understand!
We did a full security scan.
That man was there when we found Suki Macrae Cantrell.
There were no indications about him.
And yet here he is.
Clearly acting outside the parameters.
Fascinating!
Grrr!
Yes, sir!
Absolutely!
At once!
Check him.
Double check him, triple check him, quadruple!
This is nothing to do with me, I'm going back to work.
Go on then, see ya!
I can't just leave you, can I?
If you want to be useful, get them to turn the heating down, it's boiling.
Can't they do something about it?
We keep asking.
Something to do with the turbines. "
Something to do with the turbines".
I don't know!
Exactly.
I give up on you, Cathica.
Now, Rose, look at Rose.
Rose is asking the right kind of questions.
I thank you.
Why is it so hot?
One minute you worry about the Empire, the next it's the central heating!
Oh, never underestimate plumbing.
Plumbing is very important.
'Security scan complete.
' Well, who is he?
'He is no-one.
' What does THAT mean?
'He is no-one.
' What, you mean he has a fake ID?
'He has no identification.
' But everyone's registered.
We have a census for the entire Empire!
'He is no-one.
' What, he doesn't exist?
Not anywhere?
'He is no-one.
' What about the blonde?
'She is no-one.
' BOTH of them?!
Well, we all know what happens to non-entities.
They get promoted.
Bring them up!
Here we go.
Satellite Five.
Pipes and plumbing.
Look at the layout.
This is ridiculous.
You've got access to the computer's core.
You could look at the archive, the news, the stock exchange.
.
.
And you're looking at pipes?
But there's something wrong.
I suppose.
.
.
Why, what is it?
The ventilation system.
Cooling ducts.
Ice filters.
All working flat out.
Channelling massive amounts of heat down.
All the way from the top.
Floor 500.
Something up there is generating tons and tons of heat.
Don't know about you but I feel I'm missing out on a party.
It's all going on upstairs.
Fancy a trip?
You can't, you need a key.
Keys are just codes.
And I've got the codes right here.
Here we go.
Override 215.9.
How come it's giving YOU the code?
Someone up there likes me.
I told you it was painless.
No scarring, you see?
Perfect success.
How do I.
.
.activate it?
It's a personal choice.
Some people whistle.
I know one man who triggers it with "Oh, Danny Boy".
But you're set on default for now.
That's a click of the fingers.
You mean I just.
.
.
?
Click.
Come on, come with us.
No way!
Bye!
Well, don't mention my name.
When you get in trouble, just don't involve me.
That's her gone.
Adam's given up.
Looks like it's just you and me.
Yeah.
Good.
Yep.
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna be sick!
HE RETCHES Special offer.
We installed the vomit-o-matic at the same time.
Nano-termites have been placed in the lining of your throat.
In the event of sickness.
.
.
they freeze the waste.
The walls are not made of gold.
You should go back downstairs.
Tough.
I started without you.
This is fascinating.
Satellite Five contains every piece of information within the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire.
Birth certificates, shopping habits, bank statements, but you two.
.
.
You don't exist.
There's not a trace.
No birth, no job, not the slightest kiss.
How can you walk through the world and not leave a single footprint?
Suki.
.
.Suki!
Hello?
Can you hear me?
Suki?
What have you done to her?
I think she's dead.
But she's.
.
.working.
They've all got chips in their head.
And the chips keep going.
Like puppets.
Oh!
You're full of information, but it's only fair we get some information back.
Because, apparently, you're no-one.
It's so rare, not to know something.
Who are you?
It doesn't matter, cos we're off.
Nice to meet you.
Come on!
Tell me who you are!
Since that information's keeping us alive, I'm hardly gonna say.
Well, perhaps my Editor In Chief can convince you otherwise.
And who's that?
It may interest you to know that this is NOT the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire.
In fact, it's not actually human at all.
It's merely a place where humans happen to live.
Grrr!
Yep.
Yep.
Sorry!
It's a place where humans are allowed to live, by kind permission of my client.
Grrr!
What is that?
You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?
That "thing", as you put it, is in charge of the human race.
For almost 100 years, mankind has been shaped and guided.
His knowledge and ambition, strictly controlled, by its broadcast news.
Edited by my superior, your master, and humanity's guiding light, The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe.
I call him Max!
Create a climate of fear, and it's easy to keep the borders closed.
It's just a matter of emphasis.
The right word in the right broadcast repeated often enough can destabilise an economy.
Invent an enemy.
Change a vote.
So all the people on Earth are like.
.
.slaves?
Well, now, there's an interesting point.
Is a slave a slave if he doesn't know he's enslaved?
Yes.
Oh, I was hoping for a philosophical debate.
Is that all I'm gonna get? "
Yes"?
Yes.
You're no fun.
Let me out of these manacles.
You'll find out how much fun I am.
Oh, he's tough, isn't he?
!
But come on!
Isn't it a great system?
You've got to admire it, just a bit.
You can't hide something on this scale, somebody must've noticed.
From time to time, someone, yes.
But the computer-chip system allows me to see inside their brains.
I can see the smallest doubt.
And crush it!
And then they just carry on, living the life, strutting about downstairs and all over the surface of the Earth, like they're SO individual.
When, of course, they're not.
They're just cattle.
In that respect, the Jagrafess hasn't changed a thing.
But what about you?
You're not a Jagra.
.
.er.
.
.belly.
Jagrafess.
Jagrafess.
You're not a Jagrafess.
You're human.
Yeah, well, simply being human doesn't pay very well.
But you couldn't have done this all on your own.
No!
I represent a consortium of banks.
Money prefers a long-term investment.
Also the Jagrafess needed a little hand, to, erm, install himself.
No wonder, creature that size.
What's its lifespan?
3,000 years.
That's one hell of a metabolism.
Generating all that heat.
That's why Satellite Five's so hot.
You pump it out of the creature, channel it downstairs, Jagrafess stays cool, stays alive.
Satellite Five is one great big life-support system.
HE DIALS 'Me again.
Don't wipe this message.
' It's just gonna sound like white noise, but save it, cos I can translate it, OK?
Three, two, one, and spike!
But THAT'S why you're so dangerous.
Knowledge is power, but you remain unknown.
ELECTRICAL SURGE Who are you?
Leave her alone!
I'm the Doctor.
She's Rose Tyler, we're nothing, we're just wandering.
Tell me who you are!
I've just said!
Yeah, but who do you work for?
Who sent you?
Who knows about us?
Who exactly.
.
.
?
Time Lord.
What?
Oh, yes!
The last of the Time Lords.
And his travelling machine.
With his little human girl from long ago.
Don't know what you're talking about.
Time travel!
HE SCREAMS Someone's been telling you lies.
Young master Adam Mitchell?
ADAM SCREAMS Oh, my God, his head.
.
.
What the hell's he done?
What the hell's he gone and done?
They're reading his mind, he's telling them everything.
And through HIM, I know everything about YOU.
Every piece of information in his head is now mine.
And YOU have infinite knowledge, Doctor.
The Human Empire is tiny, compared to what you've seen in your T, A, R, D, I, S.
.
.
Tardis!
Well, you'll never get your hands on it, I'll die first!
Well, die all you like, I don't need ya!
I've got the key!
You and your boyfriends!
Today, WE are the headlines.
We can re-write history.
We could prevent mankind from developing.
And no-one's gonna stop you.
Because you've bred a human race which doesn't bother to ask questions.
Stupid little slaves believing every lie.
They'll just trot right into the slaughterhouse if they're told it's made of gold.
Grrr!
Disengage safety.
ALARM SOUNDS What's happening?
Maximum access, override Floor 139.
And.
.
.spike!
Someone's disengaged the safety.
Who's that?
It's Cathica.
And she's thinking!
She's using what she knows.
Terminate her access!
Everything I told her about Satellite Five, the pipes, the filters, she's reversing it!
Look at that.
It's getting hot.
I said, terminate!
Burn out her mind!
Oh no you don't!
You should've promoted me years back!
She's venting the heat up here.
The Jagrafess needs to stay cool and now it's sitting on top of a volcano!
GRRR!
Oh, um, yes, I'm trying, sir, but I don't know how she did it, it's impossible!
A member of staff with an idea!
What do I do?
Flick the switch!
ALARM SOUNDS Oi, mate!
You want to bank on a certainty?
Massive heat, in a massive body.
.
.
Massive bang!
See you in the headlines!
If it's all the same to you, I think I'll resign.
Bye, then.
Let go of me!
Let go of me!
Let go of me!
We're just gonna go, I hate tidying up.
Too many questions.
You'll manage.
You'll have to stay and explain it, no-one's gonna believe me.
Why, they might believe a lot of things.
Human race should accelerate.
All back to normal.
What about your friend?
He's not my friend.
Now, don't.
.
.
I'm all right now.
Much better.
And I've got the key.
Look, it's.
.
.
And, well.
.
.
it all worked out for the best, didn't it?
You know it's not actually my fault because you were in charge.
It's my house!
I'm home.
Oh, my God, I'm home!
Blimey.
I thought you were gonna chuck me out of an airlock.
Is there something else you want to tell me?
No.
Erm, what d'you mean?
The archive of Satellite Five.
One second of that message could've changed the world.
That's it then.
See ya.
How d'you mean, "see ya"?
As in, goodbye.
What about me?
You can't just go, I've got my head.
I've got a chip type two, my head opens!
What, like this?
Don't!
Don't do what?
Stop it!
All right now, Doctor.
That's enough.
Stop it.
Thank you.
Oi!
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
The whole of history could've changed because of you.
I just wanted to help.
You were helping yourself.
I've said I'm sorry, and I am, I really am.
But you can't just leave me like this.
Yes, I can.
'Cos if you show that head to anyone, they'll dissect you in seconds.
You'll have to live a very quiet life.
Keep out of trouble.
Be average.
Unseen.
Good luck.
But I wanna come with you.
I only take the best.
I've got Rose.
Rose, Rose!
Oh, my God!
Who's that?
Geoff, is that you?
It's me, Mum.
Don't come in, wait there a minute.
Oh, my Lord!
You never told me you were coming home!
Hold on, I'll just take my coat off!
I wish you'd told me you were coming home.
Rose, take me with you.
I would've got your favourite tea in.
THROBBING HUM What's that noise?
Have you left the back door open?
Blimey, there's a draught.
What a surprise!
Oh, let me look at you.
Aw, six months.
It's like I saw you yesterday.
Isn't it funny?
The time goes by like that.
CLICK WHIRR!
Your wish is my command, but be careful what you wish for.
The day my father died.
I thought it would be grim and stormy, it's just an ordinary day.
Oh, gosh, this is it!
He can't die on his own!
Can I try again?
Oh, gosh, this is it.
Rose!
No!
I did it again, I picked another stupid ape!
It's not like I've changed history.
Rose, there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before.
The whole world's different because he's alive!
Time's been damaged and they've come to sterilise the wound.
Rose, get in the church!
Subtitles by Chris Boyd BBC Broadcast 2005 SUBTITLES CONVERSION BY REIREI