Programma Televisivo: In Treatment - 1x34
Previously on In Treatment...
You really want me to give you permission to have sex with your boss?
Just once, just tell me it's not that bad.
I think it might be that bad.
Do you really think that sleeping with Reeves is gonna bring back the good old reliable angry, controlling Jake, the one who fights you and threatens you?
Your father died when you were 13?
You must have been pretty devastated.
I was.
He was a lovely man.
He was affectionate and great.
And yet when Jake is tender and he expresses his love through tenderness, it makes you angry.
Do you feel that you deserve that love?
It's not love.
It's neediness.
It's weakness.
It's unbearable.
So it's only love if he chases you, stalks you, tapes you, is jealous of you, is that it?
Hello, Jake.
Hey, Paul.
You miss me?
Amy's on the phone in the car.
She'll be right in.
You know, we've been sitting out there for a while.
You got a pretty nice 'hood here.
It's come a long way since we...
Since we bought the house.
I'll say.
The houses here must be in, like, the seven figures, right?
Why do you ask?
Are you interested in the market?
It's too rich for my blood.
But, if I were you, I would sell while the market's still good.
Get a bunch of acres over in Middleburg.
You ever been over there?
Horse country.
I know.
My daughter used to take horse-riding lessons out there.
I sometimes fool around with the idea of selling, actually.
Really?
'Cause you don't seem the type who fools around with anything.
How long you been here?
Long time now.
Twenty-two years, maybe.
You know the Appalachian trail goes through this area?
I knew that.
I hiked the whole thing when I was 17, dropped out of high school to do it.
Did I ever tell you that?
No.
In fact, I even came into the town to stock up.
Maybe we met 20 years ago in a convenience store.
Paul, if a guy like you and a guy like me met under different circumstances, you think we'd be friends?
Possible, I suppose.
But I know nothing about the contemporary music scene.
Neither do I, man.
Why do you think I spend half my time making cabinets for a living?
Transcript: FRM.
Sync by Allysiah, Anyone, michvanilly, salomon.
We drove here together today.
It's part of the new plan: trying to be agreeable, accommodating.
She wanted to come together, we do it.
She wanted to drive, I let her.
It's been a couple years since I drove with her in her car, and as soon as we pulled out of the driveway, I remembered why.
You see, for Amy, the car is her favorite place to conduct business, but she doesn't think it's safe to talk and drive, so she has to pull over and not just anywhere.
No, not just anywhere.
It has to be a proper parking place.
No yellow curbs, no handicapped spaces for this lady.
Do you park in handicapped spaces?
I don't park in a handicapped space, but I'll park in a yellow or a red, sure.
Not worried about getting a ticket?
No, fuck 'em.
So why didn't you offer to drive?
See, a while ago, I fell asleep once at the wheel.
Once, while I was taking her to the airport.
I had been working all night.
I was really tired and we were stuck in traffic.
I must've closed my eyes for no more than 10 sec.
Next thing I know, she's screaming at me: "Get out of the car!
You almost killed us!"
Ever since then, she never lets me drive her and I don't like to be driven by a chick, so...
The truth is, she's a much better driver than I am anyway.
Hello, Paul.
Hello, Amy.
Late again, sorry.
Making up for last week.
What happened last week?
I was early.
You were early?
Yes, last week I was early, this week I'm late.
I said I was sorry.
What?
What?
You've got that face.
What face?
I said I was sorry.
What do you wanna do?
Slap my hand?
Go on, slap my hand then.
I was late on purpose.
I thought you and Paul could catch up.
Amy, it's OK.
Relax.
Don't tell me to relax.
It's annoying.
So how have you both been?
Fine.
How are you?
I'm well, thank you.
I just want to acknowledge, Jake, that Amy and I met alone last week.
He knows that.
Yes, I know he knows that.
Then why did you find it necessary to say it?
Just so that we'd be clear.
I was meeting with a producer who's talking about buying some of my songs for this artist of his.
And, is he?
Are you trying to pick a fight?
Just kidding.
You're just kidding.
My bad.
I think I left my funny detector in the car, so I couldn't tell.
I think Amy's been really stressed out at work.
I'm not stressed out.
Work's the same as usual.
You've been killing yourself.
Your boss is a total asshole.
And he's been working her to the bone.
Will you stop it?
What? "
Works me to the bone".
You make it sound like I work in a factory.
I just think you've been working too hard, that's all.
I'm worried about you.
Can I?
No, stop it.
You're annoying.
I don't know what to say here.
When you walk into a minefield, usually there's some warning signs, right?
Sorry.
I guess I'm a little tired.
I don't get where it's all coming from.
I thought we had a really good week.
Amy, how did you...
How did you feel about the week?
I thought before today, it's been pretty smooth sailing on the sea of matrimony here.
She'd come home, I'd cook her some dinner, we'd have a glass of wine on the porch.
I thought it was nice.
I've become your lapdog too, so that helps, I guess.
My lapdog?
What does he mean by that?
I'm talking about 2 weeks ago, when I castrated myself before your eyes.
Don't tell me you don't remember.
You mean when you were honest with Amy about how you felt?
Yeah, I mean when I begged her to give a damn about me.
Do you regret that?
I don't, not if that's what she needs.
What do you mean, "if that's what she needs"?
What I mean is I'm trying to keep the peace.
Look, I realize I haven't been the easiest guy to love but I'm trying to make this work.
I wanna make this work.
So I'm trying.
I really thought we were happy this week.
Of course you did, because you were happy.
I have been bending over backwards far enough to stick my head up my ass.
You think that's been easy for me?
I don't know what you want.
If I worry about you, it's not good enough.
If I back off, it's no good.
I can't win with you. "
I worry about you.
I back off.
I can't win."
I, I, I, I...
What do you want?
Nothing.
No, forget it.
I shouldn't have come today.
I'm sorry.
I'm in a bad mood.
I'll just mess things up.
He's been great, really.
Jake's just wonderful.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
This really just started, Paul.
I mean, she's been great.
The last two weeks have been amazing.
There hasn't been a lot of drama.
We haven't even been arguing about Lenny.
I really...
I really felt like I was giving her what she needs.
Sorry.
What the fuck was that?
Sorry, Jake.
No, did I say something funny?
No, it's just, you said you know what I need.
For some reason, I found that funny.
That's the face Jake makes when he's about to hit something, so, watch out.
What do you need, Amy?
Just tell me what you need.
Tell me what you need.
I got what I need...
You.
You know, I just told you, I really thought everything was fine for a change.
Well, I'm not coming home exhausted.
I fall asleep because you've become a fucking tranquilizer.
When I came in the house, you used to grab my ass or you'd kiss me.
Now you are trying to be so tender and sensitive...
When I grabbed your ass, you said I was treating you like an animal.
That's true.
What do you think it is that you want, Amy?
I don't know.
I wanna go home.
I shouldn't have come here today.
It was a mistake.
Why do you think that, Amy?
It was a mistake.
My stomach aches.
How convenient.
Amy gets these perfectly-timed stomachaches.
They're like her secret weapons.
Would you like some tea?
What does it feel like?
Does it...
It feels like she's having a conversation she'd rather not have.
I'm asking Amy.
It feels like my stomach is cramping.
The classic stomach cramp.
You see, it's just vague enough to be completely untreatable.
Is it something that you've had before?
I had the first one when my father died, but a thousand times worse than this.
You know?
I remember I couldn't stand up.
I was lying curled up on the pavement with tears streaming out of my eyes and...
I couldn't move.
Where was this?
Outside an ice cream store.
That's where he died.
He took me for an ice cream.
My mother was in a horrible mood and...
I went to my dad's office and said: "I wanna run away", and he said: "That's okay.
I wanna run away too, "but let's stop first and get an ice cream."
And I knew what he was doing but I didn't care.
I just wanted to get out of the house and spend time with my dad.
We sat down on the curb outside the store, eating our ice cream cones, and we were racing to see who could finish first and...
I won.
So I asked him for money to buy another cone and...
I went back inside and...
A car swung...
into the parking lot and plowed right into him.
One minute he was sitting there and the next he was dead.
Did you see it happen?
Yes, it happened and then all of a sudden there was this...
wave of pain through my stomach.
It folded me over.
I had to lie down on the pavement.
I couldn't even stand up and there were people staring at me.
Someone came over and...
tried to touch me, to help me, and I just started screaming, the pain was so great, and...
the paramedics arrived with two stretchers.
They put my father on one, and me on the other and they took me to the hospital and my father to the morgue.
I don't think my mother ever forgave me.
Forgave you for what?
It's okay.
It wasn't your fault.
Shut up.
You don't know what you're talking about.
What?
No, you were just a kid...
Stop it!
You don't know.
You don't know anything.
You don't know me at all.
I've done terrible things.
It was an accident Really terrible things.
I had sex with Ben.
I didn't even enjoy it.
Felt like a whore.
He picked me up from here last week and we went out drinking.
And then we went back to the office and fucked on the floor.
Everyone had gone.
He kept saying disgusting things, degrading things.
And while I was doing it, I was asking myself "Why am I doing this?", but I couldn't stop.
When we finished, he said: "Lock up. "
I'm tired."
And he walked out.
I sat alone for two hours, drinking coffee, thinking about what I should do.
And I planned to come home and tell you and quit my job the next day.
But in the cab on the way home, I realized...
I couldn't tell you.
You're laughing.
Apparently so.
How can you be laughing?
I don't know.
What is he doing?
Maybe he's relieved.
Yeah, I think that's it.
That's exactly it...
I'm relieved.
This is...
it's always been...
my worst nightmare, what I'm scared of the most.
And now it's happened and I feel like...
I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's gone.
I feel bad for you.
And sad.
I think it's sad.
It's really sad that a woman whose husband breaks down before her, tells her he can't live without her goes out and fucks someone else and hurts herself so bad.
I think that's sad.
Do you think it's related?
Your telling Amy...
that you love her and her cheating on you?
It seems pretty obvious to me, but...
What's surprising me, Paul, is...
And maybe I'm just in shock...
Is that I don't feel jealous.
I don't feel jealous or angry.
My God, I think I am really being outstanding here, guys.
I mean, is anyone else as impressed with me as I am?
I've imagined this over and over again and I can tell you that I've never...
I can tell you that I've never behaved like such a gentleman.
I just...
I feel sad.
For her, for us.
He's right about the connection between what happened with Ben and what happened here.
From the moment Jake broke down, I've been feeling like I was gonna lose control.
I feel awful.
Say something.
How many times did this happen?
Just once.
It won't happen again.
Why did I do this?
Maybe you've always wanted to make Jake angry because...
Because you don't trust his tenderness and because there's something deep inside you that wants to be punished.
But Jake has been working hard lately to be more patient, to be more supportive.
And he's no longer giving you what you need in that way.
And now that Jake has stopped punishing you, you've started to punish yourself by having sex with somebody that, as you said yourself, you find repulsive.
You said that after your father died your mother never forgave you.
Maybe you've never forgiven yourself, Amy, for leaving your father on the curb while you went to get an ice cream.
Maybe you feel that if you degrade yourself enough...
Maybe someday somebody will forgive you...
For...
For everything.
What do you see in me?
How could you possibly be with me?
I loved you. "
Loved"?
That's it?
I deserve it.
You can hit me if you like.
No, you can, you can hit me...
I don't want to hit you, Ame.
We have to pick up Lenny.
There's still time.
I really wanna see him.
No, don't go, don't go.
It's too early and the class doesn't finish until 7:00.
Just don't go, please.
Let's just sit here.
Let's just sit here with Paul.
Let's just be quiet for a minute.
Will he forgive me?
Why don't you ask him?
You really want me to give you permission to have sex with your boss?
Just once, just tell me it's not that bad.
I think it might be that bad.
Do you really think that sleeping with Reeves is gonna bring back the good old reliable angry, controlling Jake, the one who fights you and threatens you?
Your father died when you were 13?
You must have been pretty devastated.
I was.
He was a lovely man.
He was affectionate and great.
And yet when Jake is tender and he expresses his love through tenderness, it makes you angry.
Do you feel that you deserve that love?
It's not love.
It's neediness.
It's weakness.
It's unbearable.
So it's only love if he chases you, stalks you, tapes you, is jealous of you, is that it?
Hello, Jake.
Hey, Paul.
You miss me?
Amy's on the phone in the car.
She'll be right in.
You know, we've been sitting out there for a while.
You got a pretty nice 'hood here.
It's come a long way since we...
Since we bought the house.
I'll say.
The houses here must be in, like, the seven figures, right?
Why do you ask?
Are you interested in the market?
It's too rich for my blood.
But, if I were you, I would sell while the market's still good.
Get a bunch of acres over in Middleburg.
You ever been over there?
Horse country.
I know.
My daughter used to take horse-riding lessons out there.
I sometimes fool around with the idea of selling, actually.
Really?
'Cause you don't seem the type who fools around with anything.
How long you been here?
Long time now.
Twenty-two years, maybe.
You know the Appalachian trail goes through this area?
I knew that.
I hiked the whole thing when I was 17, dropped out of high school to do it.
Did I ever tell you that?
No.
In fact, I even came into the town to stock up.
Maybe we met 20 years ago in a convenience store.
Paul, if a guy like you and a guy like me met under different circumstances, you think we'd be friends?
Possible, I suppose.
But I know nothing about the contemporary music scene.
Neither do I, man.
Why do you think I spend half my time making cabinets for a living?
Transcript: FRM.
Sync by Allysiah, Anyone, michvanilly, salomon.
We drove here together today.
It's part of the new plan: trying to be agreeable, accommodating.
She wanted to come together, we do it.
She wanted to drive, I let her.
It's been a couple years since I drove with her in her car, and as soon as we pulled out of the driveway, I remembered why.
You see, for Amy, the car is her favorite place to conduct business, but she doesn't think it's safe to talk and drive, so she has to pull over and not just anywhere.
No, not just anywhere.
It has to be a proper parking place.
No yellow curbs, no handicapped spaces for this lady.
Do you park in handicapped spaces?
I don't park in a handicapped space, but I'll park in a yellow or a red, sure.
Not worried about getting a ticket?
No, fuck 'em.
So why didn't you offer to drive?
See, a while ago, I fell asleep once at the wheel.
Once, while I was taking her to the airport.
I had been working all night.
I was really tired and we were stuck in traffic.
I must've closed my eyes for no more than 10 sec.
Next thing I know, she's screaming at me: "Get out of the car!
You almost killed us!"
Ever since then, she never lets me drive her and I don't like to be driven by a chick, so...
The truth is, she's a much better driver than I am anyway.
Hello, Paul.
Hello, Amy.
Late again, sorry.
Making up for last week.
What happened last week?
I was early.
You were early?
Yes, last week I was early, this week I'm late.
I said I was sorry.
What?
What?
You've got that face.
What face?
I said I was sorry.
What do you wanna do?
Slap my hand?
Go on, slap my hand then.
I was late on purpose.
I thought you and Paul could catch up.
Amy, it's OK.
Relax.
Don't tell me to relax.
It's annoying.
So how have you both been?
Fine.
How are you?
I'm well, thank you.
I just want to acknowledge, Jake, that Amy and I met alone last week.
He knows that.
Yes, I know he knows that.
Then why did you find it necessary to say it?
Just so that we'd be clear.
I was meeting with a producer who's talking about buying some of my songs for this artist of his.
And, is he?
Are you trying to pick a fight?
Just kidding.
You're just kidding.
My bad.
I think I left my funny detector in the car, so I couldn't tell.
I think Amy's been really stressed out at work.
I'm not stressed out.
Work's the same as usual.
You've been killing yourself.
Your boss is a total asshole.
And he's been working her to the bone.
Will you stop it?
What? "
Works me to the bone".
You make it sound like I work in a factory.
I just think you've been working too hard, that's all.
I'm worried about you.
Can I?
No, stop it.
You're annoying.
I don't know what to say here.
When you walk into a minefield, usually there's some warning signs, right?
Sorry.
I guess I'm a little tired.
I don't get where it's all coming from.
I thought we had a really good week.
Amy, how did you...
How did you feel about the week?
I thought before today, it's been pretty smooth sailing on the sea of matrimony here.
She'd come home, I'd cook her some dinner, we'd have a glass of wine on the porch.
I thought it was nice.
I've become your lapdog too, so that helps, I guess.
My lapdog?
What does he mean by that?
I'm talking about 2 weeks ago, when I castrated myself before your eyes.
Don't tell me you don't remember.
You mean when you were honest with Amy about how you felt?
Yeah, I mean when I begged her to give a damn about me.
Do you regret that?
I don't, not if that's what she needs.
What do you mean, "if that's what she needs"?
What I mean is I'm trying to keep the peace.
Look, I realize I haven't been the easiest guy to love but I'm trying to make this work.
I wanna make this work.
So I'm trying.
I really thought we were happy this week.
Of course you did, because you were happy.
I have been bending over backwards far enough to stick my head up my ass.
You think that's been easy for me?
I don't know what you want.
If I worry about you, it's not good enough.
If I back off, it's no good.
I can't win with you. "
I worry about you.
I back off.
I can't win."
I, I, I, I...
What do you want?
Nothing.
No, forget it.
I shouldn't have come today.
I'm sorry.
I'm in a bad mood.
I'll just mess things up.
He's been great, really.
Jake's just wonderful.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
This really just started, Paul.
I mean, she's been great.
The last two weeks have been amazing.
There hasn't been a lot of drama.
We haven't even been arguing about Lenny.
I really...
I really felt like I was giving her what she needs.
Sorry.
What the fuck was that?
Sorry, Jake.
No, did I say something funny?
No, it's just, you said you know what I need.
For some reason, I found that funny.
That's the face Jake makes when he's about to hit something, so, watch out.
What do you need, Amy?
Just tell me what you need.
Tell me what you need.
I got what I need...
You.
You know, I just told you, I really thought everything was fine for a change.
Well, I'm not coming home exhausted.
I fall asleep because you've become a fucking tranquilizer.
When I came in the house, you used to grab my ass or you'd kiss me.
Now you are trying to be so tender and sensitive...
When I grabbed your ass, you said I was treating you like an animal.
That's true.
What do you think it is that you want, Amy?
I don't know.
I wanna go home.
I shouldn't have come here today.
It was a mistake.
Why do you think that, Amy?
It was a mistake.
My stomach aches.
How convenient.
Amy gets these perfectly-timed stomachaches.
They're like her secret weapons.
Would you like some tea?
What does it feel like?
Does it...
It feels like she's having a conversation she'd rather not have.
I'm asking Amy.
It feels like my stomach is cramping.
The classic stomach cramp.
You see, it's just vague enough to be completely untreatable.
Is it something that you've had before?
I had the first one when my father died, but a thousand times worse than this.
You know?
I remember I couldn't stand up.
I was lying curled up on the pavement with tears streaming out of my eyes and...
I couldn't move.
Where was this?
Outside an ice cream store.
That's where he died.
He took me for an ice cream.
My mother was in a horrible mood and...
I went to my dad's office and said: "I wanna run away", and he said: "That's okay.
I wanna run away too, "but let's stop first and get an ice cream."
And I knew what he was doing but I didn't care.
I just wanted to get out of the house and spend time with my dad.
We sat down on the curb outside the store, eating our ice cream cones, and we were racing to see who could finish first and...
I won.
So I asked him for money to buy another cone and...
I went back inside and...
A car swung...
into the parking lot and plowed right into him.
One minute he was sitting there and the next he was dead.
Did you see it happen?
Yes, it happened and then all of a sudden there was this...
wave of pain through my stomach.
It folded me over.
I had to lie down on the pavement.
I couldn't even stand up and there were people staring at me.
Someone came over and...
tried to touch me, to help me, and I just started screaming, the pain was so great, and...
the paramedics arrived with two stretchers.
They put my father on one, and me on the other and they took me to the hospital and my father to the morgue.
I don't think my mother ever forgave me.
Forgave you for what?
It's okay.
It wasn't your fault.
Shut up.
You don't know what you're talking about.
What?
No, you were just a kid...
Stop it!
You don't know.
You don't know anything.
You don't know me at all.
I've done terrible things.
It was an accident Really terrible things.
I had sex with Ben.
I didn't even enjoy it.
Felt like a whore.
He picked me up from here last week and we went out drinking.
And then we went back to the office and fucked on the floor.
Everyone had gone.
He kept saying disgusting things, degrading things.
And while I was doing it, I was asking myself "Why am I doing this?", but I couldn't stop.
When we finished, he said: "Lock up. "
I'm tired."
And he walked out.
I sat alone for two hours, drinking coffee, thinking about what I should do.
And I planned to come home and tell you and quit my job the next day.
But in the cab on the way home, I realized...
I couldn't tell you.
You're laughing.
Apparently so.
How can you be laughing?
I don't know.
What is he doing?
Maybe he's relieved.
Yeah, I think that's it.
That's exactly it...
I'm relieved.
This is...
it's always been...
my worst nightmare, what I'm scared of the most.
And now it's happened and I feel like...
I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's gone.
I feel bad for you.
And sad.
I think it's sad.
It's really sad that a woman whose husband breaks down before her, tells her he can't live without her goes out and fucks someone else and hurts herself so bad.
I think that's sad.
Do you think it's related?
Your telling Amy...
that you love her and her cheating on you?
It seems pretty obvious to me, but...
What's surprising me, Paul, is...
And maybe I'm just in shock...
Is that I don't feel jealous.
I don't feel jealous or angry.
My God, I think I am really being outstanding here, guys.
I mean, is anyone else as impressed with me as I am?
I've imagined this over and over again and I can tell you that I've never...
I can tell you that I've never behaved like such a gentleman.
I just...
I feel sad.
For her, for us.
He's right about the connection between what happened with Ben and what happened here.
From the moment Jake broke down, I've been feeling like I was gonna lose control.
I feel awful.
Say something.
How many times did this happen?
Just once.
It won't happen again.
Why did I do this?
Maybe you've always wanted to make Jake angry because...
Because you don't trust his tenderness and because there's something deep inside you that wants to be punished.
But Jake has been working hard lately to be more patient, to be more supportive.
And he's no longer giving you what you need in that way.
And now that Jake has stopped punishing you, you've started to punish yourself by having sex with somebody that, as you said yourself, you find repulsive.
You said that after your father died your mother never forgave you.
Maybe you've never forgiven yourself, Amy, for leaving your father on the curb while you went to get an ice cream.
Maybe you feel that if you degrade yourself enough...
Maybe someday somebody will forgive you...
For...
For everything.
What do you see in me?
How could you possibly be with me?
I loved you. "
Loved"?
That's it?
I deserve it.
You can hit me if you like.
No, you can, you can hit me...
I don't want to hit you, Ame.
We have to pick up Lenny.
There's still time.
I really wanna see him.
No, don't go, don't go.
It's too early and the class doesn't finish until 7:00.
Just don't go, please.
Let's just sit here.
Let's just sit here with Paul.
Let's just be quiet for a minute.
Will he forgive me?
Why don't you ask him?