Émission TV: Everybody Loves Raymond - 2x7

-Ally, no PopsicIes before dinner.
-When is dinner?
As soon as Daddy gets home.
See, that's him right now.
-See, it's working fine.
-Just check it.
-Frank, Marie, what are you doing out here?
-Fixing your Iight.
We didn't want to disturb you during dinner.
But your motion-sensor Iight is not working properIy.
It seems to be working just fine.
Now, yes, but something must be wrong with it...
because it didn't go on when Raymond came home.
No, Ray's not home yet.
Did you get us that Iight so you wouId know when Ray gets home?
AIso for your protection.
Instead of you Iooking for that Iight...
we couId just send white smoke up the chimney.
No, I wouIdn't want to bother you.
No, the Iight system works fine.
Hi, I'm Ray, and I Iive here in Long IsIand with my wife, Debra...
my 6-year-oId daughter and twin 2-year-oId boys.
My parents...
Iive across the street.
That's right.
And my brother Iives with them.
Now, not every famiIy wouId defy gravity for you...
but mine wouId because-- Everybody Ioves Raymond.
Hey, you didn't....
-Hello?
-Frank.
No, never mind.
It's not the Iight.
I know.
God forbid you shouId ever Iisten to me.
But, Ray, you promised.
Come on, I made Iemon chicken and everything.
He's not coming home for dinner?
It might be the Iemon chicken.
Yeah, she's here.
Yeah, so's your dad.
-Pretty much everyone but you, again.
-I smell Iemon chicken.
It's no good.
No, I understand.
Yeah, okay.
I'll save you some.
Okay.
Bye.
-That's terribIe.
It's just terribIe.
-What?
Raymond doesn't come home for dinner.
Marie, Ray has the kind of job where he just can't Ieave at 5:00.
You know, games go into overtime, and pIayers have to be interviewed.
Lots of things come up at the Iast minute.
Let me ask you this deIicateIy.
Is it possibIe he doesn't want to come home?
What's the bIunt version of that, you kick me as you say it?
No!
I just read an articIe about this very thing in the New York Times.
We get Newsday every day.
What are you buying the Times for?
I Iike the obituaries.
They're very well written.
-You don't even know those peopIe.
-I feeI that I do after I read about them.
So you've got a bunch of new friends, all dead.
Frank, Marie.
So what did the articIe say?
According to some new research...
a Iot of peopIe stay at work Ionger than they have to.
They're happier at the office.
It's easier.
Yeah, there's friends and chitchat, whereas at home...
-there are kids, and mess, and-- -Nagging.
I don't think that Ray wouId....
Now I've upset you.
Forget everything I just said.
You know what?
It's probabIy just the Iemon chicken.
All right, Barone Iines up for the kick.
The Iook of determination.
Or is that stupidity?
It's a tough kick.
Barone's been battIing a hangnaiI all season.
All right, aIready!
Are you ever off?
-Come on, a IittIe Iower, Andy.
-It's into the wind.
It's a bit of a drizzIe, too.
Here it is.
Here's the kick, it's up.
It's good!
Hey, my wife's here, everybody.
Hey, my wife.
-Hi.
What are you doing here?
-I brought you dinner.
-What?
Really?
Okay.
-Yeah.
I thought you were working, I thought you had a coIumn due.
I do.
-I do.
It's a tough one, too.
-The one on paper football?
No.
I know this Iooks bad...
but writing doesn't onIy happen when you're writing.
A big part of writing is actually the thinking.
Sometimes you're just thinking, and you've got to just say: Stop thinking about it, so you can just really... "
think about it."
That's what we were doing here with the paper football thing...
just Ietting the thoughts jell up.
I know.
Look, it sounds crazy, but that is the writing process.
So now you know.
-Yes, I do.
-Come on, what?
Come on.
-We're just working here.
-Pizza in the house!
All right.
Pizza?
What, did somebody have a baby?
-Hey, Debra.
-Dave.
If she's eating, it's coming out of your sIices.
-Yeah.
-I am an idiot.
-You're not.
-Come on.
I've been staying up Iate to reheat food for you.
I know, and I Iove it.
-Come on.
Is that Iemon chicken?
I Iove it.
-Your mom was right.
No, that's crazy taIk.
She read this articIe in The New York Times about peopIe Iike you...
-who'd rather be at work than at home.
-I wouIdn't rather be at work.
BeIieve me, I wish I wasn't here right now.
Why not?
I mean, this is a Iot more fun than cIeaning up and raising kids...
and paying the bills.
Boy, I wish I had somepIace to hide out.
I'm not hiding out.
I'm earning a Iiving.
Which was your idea, I beIieve.
Come on, don't you think I'd rather be with you guys?
If you want pizza, you'd better get in there, they're animaIs!
All right!
WheeI of fortune!
-We're kind of busy here, Andy.
-That is so easy! "
It ain't over till the fat Iady sings."
I got it in two Ietters.
Ray usually needs four.
Yeah.
CouId you maybe watch that in the other room, pIease?
Look, I'm sorry.
They got the game highIights on.
They're Iike nuts in there with the sports.
-So this is working, huh?
-This is part of work.
-Yeah.
You couId do this at home, Ray.
-You thinking of working at home, Ray?
What?
No, Andy, that's not what we're taIking about.
-I mean, that wouId be great, but I can't.
-Why not?
That one guy does.
Oh, my God.
They've got "fat Iad sings," they still can't get it!
-Who works at home, Andy?
-GoIden from the Post.
They set him up with a satellite dish, a fax, and a modem.
-He never has to Ieave the house.
-You ever read his stuff?
It's Iike he's phoning it in.
Because, well, he is.
-So you don't want to?
-I do.
-I don't think my boss wouId Iet me.
-You said your boss Iiked you.
Likes him?
They share a coffee mug.
We do not, Andy.
Look at me when I'm taIking to you.
It's obvious you don't want to be home, Ray.
I do.
Look, I'll taIk to Bill tomorrow.
Bill's in there.
Thank you, Andy.
I'll miss you.
-Okay, kids, say goodbye to Daddy.
-Why isn't Daddy going to work?
Daddy's at work.
I'm working at home.
Can I go to schooI at home?
No.
You wouIdn't Iike it.
None of your friends are here, no one to taIk to, all aIone.
You'll be fine.
Me?
I'm happy.
Look at me, I'm going to work in my bathrobe.
I'm Iike Hugh Hefner, minus everything good about his Iife.
-Look, the guy's here with your stuff.
-Yeah.
-Ray Barone?
-Yeah.
Guy from tech support.
Your satellite dish is in the truck...
I got your fax machine and your modem.
Where do you want it?
The office.
I want it back at the office.
I want to be back at my office.
Where do you want it?
-Hook it up downstairs.
-Where?
Right through that door there.
CarefuI.
Don't fall and break it.
UnIess you want $30.
You heard me.
So what's going on at work?
Lunch?
Hey, don't order the meatball sandwich.
No, it's great.
Everything's great here.
Yeah, I got one of those nice home-office setup things.
Yeah.
-Hello!
Anybody home?
-Hey, I got to go.
-Debra?
Are you down there?
-I'm not dressed!
-Raymond?
-He's not dressed either.
What are you doing home?
Come on down.
Raymond's home.
-Oh, boy.
-What are you doing in your robe, darIing?
-You sick?
-No.
You were fired?
I wasn't fired.
I wanted to work at home, so I'd have more time to spend with my famiIy.
That's so nice.
You want to spend more time with us.
No.
This famiIy.
My famiIy.
I can remember when we were your famiIy.
Anyway, I got a Iot of work to do-- Let me ask you, do these pants Iook all right to you?
Are you still growing?
She hemmed them.
They're two inches too short.
It's nice to see a IittIe sock.
Ma, I'm out there with criminaIs, okay?
It's Iife or death.
I have to be taken seriousIy.
Why don't you make them into shorts, Iike the maiIman?
The maiIman?
You're so unappreciative, Robert.
Okay, Ma, fine.
I just won't get out of the squad car, okay?
Let's hope there's no crime today.
That'll give me time to just maybe go by the post office...
and I can taIk about fashion tips with the other maiImen.
All right, thanks for stopping by and whatever.
-Look at that.
-Yeah, that's a fax machine, Ma.
I've got a Iot of important faxes coming in, and I gotta get to them, all right?
-What's this one?
-This is from Dave.
ApparentIy he's faxed me his buttocks.
I don't Iike that, Raymond.
Yeah, I got it, Dave.
Thanks.
Yeah.
My mom's Iooking at it right now.
Never mind, "What is she wearing?"
-All right, Iisten, Ma, I got a Iot of stuff-- -Ray!
-Yes, Deb, I'm coming right up.
-He's working!
Ma, it's okay, all right?
I need a IittIe break now.
How wouId you sit on one of those?
-Hey, you're home.
-Yeah.
-Good.
Look, Mom's here.
-Ray, what happened here?
Coffee pot.
There was a IittIe bit in there when I went downstairs.
Okay, I'll fix it.
No, don't.
Just remember next time to shut it off, okay?
UnIess you want the fire department to come and shut it off.
Will they do that?
-Marie, what is this?
-That's not mine, dear.
Dave wanted to see if the fax machine was working, and that's the test.
That's Dave.
Didn't recognize him without his cigarette.
Yeah, he's trying to quit.
You want to heIp me unIoad the bags from the car?
You know, I wouId, but I've got to get back to work.
-Yeah, but it'll just take five minutes.
-Hey, I'm working at home...
which means that I'm home, but I'm working, you know?
When I'm here during the day, you shouId just pretend that I'm not here.
Okay, all right.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
-All right, I'll heIp with the bags.
-Don't be silly, sweetie.
No, there's no probIem, I'm here.
You go to work, Raymond...
-and I can heIp Debra.
-No!
That way, everybody'll be happy.
Cookies from a Iog.
You heat them up.
Well, that's aImost baking.
It was the best of games, it was the worst of games.
Dear readers, as you must have reaIized by now... "
I am a fraud."
Hey, Geoffrey.
What, are you home from preschooI aIready?
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
What have you got?
Your Tortoise and the Hare disc.
I can't pIay now.
Daddy's working.
Come on, see?
Daddy's doing his coIumn.
Don't Iook yet.
Don't you wanna go upstairs and pIay?
Mommy's got pudding.
Now come here.
-Come on.
Let's see what we got.
-I gonna read it.
-Wanna put this on?
-Put this on.
Look, your brother's here, too.
Yeah.
This is Iike the ice-cream truck, this music.
Come on.
Let's see what we got.
Mrs.
Hare.
Let's cIick on her.
Hey, Ray.
There's a traiI of ants Ieading to a haIf-eaten sandwich up there.
Have them bring it down.
Dishes in the sink, okay?
Boys, come on, we can't bother Daddy whiIe he's working.
We got to go pick up Ally.
Come on.
You know what?
They don't have to go.
What do you mean?
You toId me to pretend you weren't here.
Yeah, I know, but Iook, if I'm gonna work at home, this is part of home, right?
Okay, if you're sure you're gonna be okay, 'cause I got errands to run and....
I'm okay.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
All right, Iet's see.
DoubIe shot, one head to the other!
Give me a high-five!
High-five on the nose.
High-five on the nose.
Here's a IittIe game.
If you're happy and you know it, smack your dad, hey!
Wisenheimer.
That calls for a belly sandwich.
All right, put the kids away.
The game is on.
-What game?
-Any game.
We saw the satellite dish.
-You got games fIoating around all over.
-Yeah, pull something down.
You know, I've got to get back to work.
I've been interrupted all day here.
Look at all those channeIs.
That's a gift from God.
-Did work pay for this, too?
-Yeah.
-Well, maybe-- -I can't get you one.
-How about for me?
-No.
-Maybe a discount-- -Nothing.
-At Ieast you couId ask.
-Shut up!
Just watch.
Wait, what is this?
Hawaii Five-O!
-Hey, what Ianguage is that?
-HoIy crap, that's Korean!
-Leave this on!
-This is coming in from Korea?
-Yeah.
-Hey, anybody wanna order pizza?
I couId've been a pretty good hockey pIayer.
You know, I'm big, had the toughness, good hand-eye coordination.
Yeah, but eventually, you wouId've had to Iet go of the side.
-Hey, pizza!
-Hey!
Ballerina!
Ray, what's going on?
I thought you were gonna be working.
I am working.
See?
PenciI.
Ray, can I taIk to you?
I'm working.
In the kitchen, pIease?
-I'll call you if there are any fights.
-I may be calling you.
-Oh, my God.
-I'm gonna cIean it all up right now.
Where are the twins?
Are they under here somewhere?
-They're napping.
-They're napping?
It's 5:00, Ray.
They're gonna be up all night now!
I know, I couIdn't heIp it.
They fell asIeep during "Hawaii Bing-Bao."
I know you did this for me, and I really appreciate you trying....
What is this stuck to my non-stick pan?
-Those are crayons.
It's a funny story-- -No, don't.
You know what?
You're probabIy not getting too much work done here, are you?
Actually I'm getting all the games, and I Iike watching them without pants.
I know, but, Iike, I see all these distractions, you know?
Your mother, and the kids, your father, your brother.
Your mother.
What I'm saying is, if you want to go back to the office, I will understand.
-You're the one who toId me-- -I know, Ray.
I was wrong, okay?
Go back to the office!
I can't take it!
I can't Iive this way!
-What are you taIking about?
-Just get out!
-All right, caIm down!
-I can't!
Look at the coffee pot!
Again, Ray!
And the schmutz is all dripping out, and....
Look at them!
God!
Don't you miss your friends?
All right, I'll go back.
I thought I was doing this for you.
Thanks, no.
You've done enough for me.
Really.
Okay?
-It's just that....
-What?
I was pIaying with the kids today, and it was kind of fun.
I Iike seeing them when they just come home from schooI.
They tell me about their Iunch, their snack, and I got the boo-boo report.
It's nice.
Yeah, I know, but, I mean, I know you...
and you're gonna get tired of that after a whiIe, aren't you?
Oh, yeah.
I don't need to hear it again.
-But it was fun today.
-Good.
Then that's good.
So you'll go?
I don't get you.
You weren't happy when I wasn't here, and now you're not happy when I am here.
Yes, it's confusing, isn't it?
Well, I guess that what I want...
is for you to want to be here...
but not actually be here.
I can do that.
-I can want to be here whenever you want.
-Good.
And maybe you couId just try to be home for dinner sometimes.
I will.
Okay, good.
Thanks, Ray.
You wanna go back to your game?
I couId pretend I'm at the office, and just, you know, take a IittIe break.
Just Iike at the office.
'Pumpkin man. "
'Why are you Iooking at me Iike that?
' said the worm."
-You wanna do a chapter?
-You're the one who had to give them a nap.
You keep reading.
-What time do the cartoons start?
-5:00 a.m.
-Right.
Come on.
We're going downstairs.
-Going downstairs.
-Why?
-Maybe there's cartoons on in Korea.