Émission TV: Everybody Loves Raymond - 2x22
Who wants to be measured first?
-Me.
I do.
-Okay, get up here.
Okay, wait a second.
No, she's got to turn around.
Let Daddy show you how it's done.
Then I'm going to Iie down.
See, shoes off.
HeeIs against the wall.
Feet together, head IeveI.
-All right.
-Go ahead.
Okay.
And 5'1 1 and three quarters.
What?
No, I'm 6 feet tall.
-Me next.
-Not yet.
Wait, Ally.
Let Daddy do it.
Do it again.
-Okay, 5'1 1 and three quarters.
-No!
It says 5'1 1 and three quarters.
You can't tell on a giraffe.
I'm 6 feet tall, everybody.
Ray Barone.
BIack hair, brown eyes, 6 feet tall.
PeopIe say, "Who are you?"
I'm 6 feet tall.
That's who I am.
All right.
And...
-5'1 1 and three quarters.
-Come on.
That's what it says.
Look, 5'1 1 and three-- All right.
What, you Iike saying it?
You don't have to get so upset about it.
Guys care about height, you know?
Just Iike women care about weight.
I don't care about weight.
Yeah, you don't 'cause you onIy weigh about, what, 1 40?
See?
Don't get on your high horse if you can't take the smell.
Ray, I'm sorry about your height.
I still Iove you, okay?
The kids Iove you.
Don't you, kids?
See?
I'm 6 feet tall.
Honey, maybe you were 6 feet tall, but you just shrunk a IittIe bit.
What do you mean, shrunk?
That happens, you know?
As you get oIder, peopIe tend to just....
Shrink?
-It's not a big deaI.
It happens to everyone.
-I'm shrinking now?
Ray, don't get all, you know....
-Oh, my God.
I'm shrinking.
-Ray!
Mommy is not 1 40.
Man, so cIose!
Listen up, everybody.
I've got an announcement to make.
I suck and I quit.
You onIy bIew the game-winning shot, what's the big deaI?
Yeah, there'll be other game-winning shots.
Hopefully, you won't take them.
Look, isn't it obvious?
I'm too short to pIay this game.
What?
I measured myseIf yesterday, and I'm a quarter-inch shorter than Iast year.
Ray, you couId shrink a foot and still not be the shortest guy on the team.
You couId Iose a Ieg and still not be the sIowest.
Don't you see?
I'm going to keep shrinking.
ReIax, Ray, you weren't that good to begin with.
Raymond.
Sounds Iike you're having a IittIe mid-Iife crisis.
What?
No, God.
Mid-Iife crisis.
I don't want one of those.
I do.
I can't wait for mine.
I 'm going to get a HarIey and a girI who's impressed by HarIeys.
Debra won't Iet me have either of those.
No, that's not the probIem.
Come here, RaygeIeh.
You're worried that you're not going to accompIish...
everything you set out to do in Iife.
-I am?
-Who knows?
But I went to this seIf-improvement seminar to meet women...
and I Iearned that peopIe with goaIs don't worry so much about getting oId.
-Did you meet anyone?
-No one.
ApparentIy, I don't appeaI to women with goaIs.
You know what I aIways wanted to do?
Run the New York Marathon.
-Come on, for reaI?
-Yeah, reaI.
Guys, what is with all this dream crap?
Why don't you go home, hug your fathers, and maybe we'll win a game.
You shouId do what they made us do at the seminar.
You make a Iist of the 1 00 things you want to do before you die.
-1 00?
-I can come up with, Iike, four.
Easy.
You just think of the stuff that you want in your Iife that you don't have.
Look, I don't need any of that, all right?
All I need is another quarter-inch.
Who doesn't?
Yeah.
You are correct there.
You're right on the money. "
Things to do before I die."
It's personaI, okay?
Like you have your feminine products.
Is this about you shrinking?
Maybe a IittIe.
Look, the guys...
thought that the reason the shrinking thing is bothering me...
is 'cause I'm having a mid-Iife crisis.
Yeah, and I need some goaIs, you know?
Something to shoot for.
You want to have an affair?
-What?
Where did that come from?
-Well, how come you won't show me?
Yeah.
I put "have an affair" on paper.
That's one of my goaIs.
Disappoint another woman.
Yeah, I get it.
Look, just give me the Iist, all right?
I just want to see it.
Look, just keep in mind, it's not really done yet. "
Peking duck, goat cheese pizza."
What is this?
I toId you, it's goaIs and stuff.
These are your goaIs?
These are restaurant speciaIs.
I've never had the Peking duck.
So your goaI is just to eat things you've never eaten before.
Not entireIy. "
EnIarged prostate."
See?
That's something that I want to avoid.
Not something I wish to eat.
-What?
-I see.
-What?
What are you-- -Well, Ray, come on.
You're a writer.
Don't you want to do something Iike write the great American noveI or....
I thought about that, and then I thought...
I don't even want to read the great American noveI.
Well, there has to be something eIse you want to do besides: "never throw up again."
No.
That's it, see?
I got nothing.
I got no dreams.
Ray, everybody has dreams.
Yeah?
What do you have?
What's on your Iist?
-Me?
-Yeah.
Well, I just thought that after the kids grow up, it might be nice...
if, I don't know, we moved upstate...
and opened a IittIe bed-and-breakfast somewhere.
Whoa.
Bed-and-breakfast?
What do you mean, Iike, strangers coming in and out of our house all the time?
Yes, Ray, strangers.
I'd Iike to try strangers for a change.
I don't know.
This is all happening too fast.
We don't have to do it today, Ray.
I'm just trying to get you thinking.
I'm thinking I'd better come up with something...
before I end up with your bed-and-breakfast...
tucking in a gay coupIe from CIeveIand.
All right.
You know what?
Maybe the reason that you can't come up with any goaIs for yourseIf...
is that, in your own Ray way...
you're actually content.
Where are you picking up that vibe?
Look at the facts.
You have a great job, a wonderfuI famiIy...
a Ioving wife who weighs nowhere near 1 40.
Yeah, so what are you saying?
I think maybe you've aIready accompIished more than you've ever dreamed of.
You really think so?
I do.
Maybe you're one of the Iucky peopIe who's actually Iiving his dream.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
See?
You feeI better?
-What?
What, Ray?
-I'm thinking...
if what you said is true, and I've aIready done everything...
then I guess this is all there is.
Hey.
Good morning, Raymond.
Want some eggs?
No, thanks.
Listen, I want to ask you guys something.
When I was a kid, do you remember me having a dream?
I remember you wetting the bed.
No, I don't mean that.
I mean, Iike, what did I want to be?
Dry.
Morning.
How many eggs, Robbie?
Three.
Today I'd Iike them raw, in a gIass.
What?
I'm in training.
Going to be running the New York Marathon this year.
-Come on.
You're really going to do that?
-That's right.
Marathon, huh?
Put me down for a buck a miIe.
You don't pIedge for this one, Dad.
I'm not pIedging, I'm betting.
I say you'll cry Iike a IittIe girI by miIe two.
Ray, you want some of this action?
-Look, at Ieast he's got a dream, right?
-Are you making fun, too?
No, I'm actually jeaIous.
You have a dream.
I've got nothing.
Nothing?
-You've got nothing?
-What?
House, wife...
IittIe daughter, twin boys.
That's nothing to you?
That was my dream!
Hello!
So why don't you go take your IittIe mid-Iife... "
I'm shrinking, I'm dying, I don't have any dreams"...
and go right back across the street to paradise.
Look, you don't understand-- Yeah, I don't understand.
Just go, because I'm going to tell you something.
I have....
Are you all right, Robert?
Yeah, fine, Ma, I'm fine.
What?
What do you....
Put the-- Guess I'm just going to have to scratch dream number two off my Iist.
Go ahead and cook those eggs, Ma.
I shouId have put my money on warm-up.
Raymond, why didn't you tell us you were having a mid-Iife crisis?
The announcements are still being printed, Ma.
Here, sit down, have some eggs.
You know what I aIways wanted to do, Ray?
Sing Iike Tony Bennett.
Tony Bennett?
That's right.
But Iook at me.
Am I Tony Bennett?
No.
You see, you do a thing, and that's what you are.
One guy Iives in BrookIyn.
One guy Iives in Sutton PIace.
Another guy's a Iawyer, one guy is a doctor.
Another guy dies, another guy gets well, peopIe are born-- What the hell are you taIking about?
Don't worry so much.
You die.
You did what you did.
Stop saying "die."
It's obvious Raymond's afraid of dying.
What am I supposed to tell him?
That it's not going to happen?
It's going to happen.
You're going to die!
Thank you, Dad.
There you go.
Now, Raymond, you know, we are all afraid of death.
But the important thing is to be ready.
See, your father and I have all we need, right in here.
We have our will and our insurance...
and the deed to our buriaI pIot.
Where's the permit to the neighbors' parade?
-Frank, what is this?
-What?
Our joint buriaI pIot.
It onIy mentions one.
Where's the other pIot?
What, who cares?
I soId it.
You soId haIf of our joint buriaI pIot?
The peopIe next door had an unexpected death.
They were very upset.
I got twice what I paid for it.
It wasn't yours to sell.
I soId my haIf of the pIot.
How do you know it wasn't my haIf, Frank?
I aIways sIeep on the Ieft.
And when were you going to tell me about this?
I wasn't.
I figured if you went first, you couIdn't yell at me.
And if I went first, yell all you want.
You have aIways wanted to Ieave me, haven't you?
Till death do us part, Marie.
After that you're on your own.
Why don't you fuIfill one of my dreams, and Ieave me aIone now?
HoIy crap!
We found something we have in common.
How bad can death be?
-Hey, cornfIake.
-Hi.
In a good mood, huh?
Yeah, I did a Iot of productive thinking today.
-Yeah?
-Going to be cremated.
What?
Yeah, I think it just makes sense, you know?
More sense than buriaI.
I'm not all that gung ho about decomposing.
How did you get onto this?
Look, it pays to think about these things.
Hey, don't be Iike that, either.
I don't want a big, sad funeraI.
You know, make it Iike a ceIebration.
PeopIe telling stories, funny anecdotes about me.
Like a roast.
What is wrong with you?
Good news.
I found a cemetery that can fit us all in.
Misery, your company's here.
It's beautifuI.
But it may be a IittIe tight.
One of us has to be verticaI.
I don't know, Ma.
I'm thinking of going cremation.
Oh, you want to go off on your own, too?
This famiIy is falling apart.
-This does Iook nice, though.
-See?
Debra, wouId you mind being the verticaI one?
Why Debra, Ma?
It can't be your brother, his head wouId stick out of the ground.
Hey, how about a wood chipper?
Then we couId all fit into one big trash bag.
That's morbid, dear.
Yes.
Deb, you shouId Iook at this.
It's pretty good.
You're going to die, you know.
I know you're not excited about spending eternity with my parents...
but it's not going to be Iike now, when all they have to do is cross the street.
I mean, they're going to have to bust out of their coffins...
and tunneI through the dirt...
just to get to our coffin.
And then they're banging and....
-We couId pretend we're not even there.
-Shut up!
Stop it!
Stop taIking about coffins.
So you want to do cremation with me?
Ray, you're supposed to be having a mid-Iife crisis, not an end-of-Iife crisis.
Look, don't tell me how to have a mid-Iife crisis, okay?
-What wouId you know about it?
-Because I've aIready had mine.
Really?
Yes, a whiIe ago.
Was that the perm?
-No.
-'Cause that didn't Iook good.
It was two years ago.
You never acted Iike you were having a mid-Iife crisis.
Ray, Iook at me.
I'm rubbing cream on my hands.
Do you know why I'm rubbing cream on my hands?
Because it's hand cream?
No, because my skin isn't as soft and smooth as it used to be.
Have you noticed?
-I didn't want to say anything-- -Shut up, Ray.
That is why every night I take this cream...
and desperateIy try to turn back the cIock.
And even though I know it's a Iosing battIe, I still do it anyway.
That is how you have a proper mid-Iife crisis.
You do not start pIanning your death.
You go into deniaI Iike a normaI person.
-Give me your shoes.
-What?
All right, but I think my shoes are soft enough.
Just give them to me.
When you started going all nuts about the height thing...
I bought these as a joke.
But now I think they're actually going to heIp.
So stick these on.
Come on.
These aren't going to do anything.
You want to be 6 feet tall?
Put them on.
I'm not wearing Iifts.
They're not Iifts.
They're extra-thick Odor-Eaters.
Two birds with one stone.
Look, this doesn't really mean I'm 6 feet tall.
Hey, this cream doesn't mean my hands are any softer than they used to be.
I don't know.
I'm taIking about death, here, okay?
You really think some cheap insoIes are going to change my outIook....
These are kind of bouncy.
LittIe spring in your step there, young man?
Yeah, whatever.
Come on, who am I really fooIing here?
You've onIy got to fooI one person.
And if I recall, that person once asked me if Jell-O was a fruit.
Yeah.
Listen, you do whatever you need to do.
As for me, I'm going to put these tea bags on my puffy eyes...
and dream about my bed-and-breakfast by the Iake.
Good night.
Hey, can you put these in sneakers?
Put them anywhere you want.
FeeIing tall and smelling good.
Idiot.
Frank, you want your ice cream or not?
He's not here, Ma.
Where did he go?
I don't know.
He said Ray got him thinking.
Ray got him thinking?
Yeah, you beIieve that?
About what?
I left my heart in San Francisco Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
My wife thinks I'm in the bathroom.
High on a hill It calls to me
-Me.
I do.
-Okay, get up here.
Okay, wait a second.
No, she's got to turn around.
Let Daddy show you how it's done.
Then I'm going to Iie down.
See, shoes off.
HeeIs against the wall.
Feet together, head IeveI.
-All right.
-Go ahead.
Okay.
And 5'1 1 and three quarters.
What?
No, I'm 6 feet tall.
-Me next.
-Not yet.
Wait, Ally.
Let Daddy do it.
Do it again.
-Okay, 5'1 1 and three quarters.
-No!
It says 5'1 1 and three quarters.
You can't tell on a giraffe.
I'm 6 feet tall, everybody.
Ray Barone.
BIack hair, brown eyes, 6 feet tall.
PeopIe say, "Who are you?"
I'm 6 feet tall.
That's who I am.
All right.
And...
-5'1 1 and three quarters.
-Come on.
That's what it says.
Look, 5'1 1 and three-- All right.
What, you Iike saying it?
You don't have to get so upset about it.
Guys care about height, you know?
Just Iike women care about weight.
I don't care about weight.
Yeah, you don't 'cause you onIy weigh about, what, 1 40?
See?
Don't get on your high horse if you can't take the smell.
Ray, I'm sorry about your height.
I still Iove you, okay?
The kids Iove you.
Don't you, kids?
See?
I'm 6 feet tall.
Honey, maybe you were 6 feet tall, but you just shrunk a IittIe bit.
What do you mean, shrunk?
That happens, you know?
As you get oIder, peopIe tend to just....
Shrink?
-It's not a big deaI.
It happens to everyone.
-I'm shrinking now?
Ray, don't get all, you know....
-Oh, my God.
I'm shrinking.
-Ray!
Mommy is not 1 40.
Man, so cIose!
Listen up, everybody.
I've got an announcement to make.
I suck and I quit.
You onIy bIew the game-winning shot, what's the big deaI?
Yeah, there'll be other game-winning shots.
Hopefully, you won't take them.
Look, isn't it obvious?
I'm too short to pIay this game.
What?
I measured myseIf yesterday, and I'm a quarter-inch shorter than Iast year.
Ray, you couId shrink a foot and still not be the shortest guy on the team.
You couId Iose a Ieg and still not be the sIowest.
Don't you see?
I'm going to keep shrinking.
ReIax, Ray, you weren't that good to begin with.
Raymond.
Sounds Iike you're having a IittIe mid-Iife crisis.
What?
No, God.
Mid-Iife crisis.
I don't want one of those.
I do.
I can't wait for mine.
I 'm going to get a HarIey and a girI who's impressed by HarIeys.
Debra won't Iet me have either of those.
No, that's not the probIem.
Come here, RaygeIeh.
You're worried that you're not going to accompIish...
everything you set out to do in Iife.
-I am?
-Who knows?
But I went to this seIf-improvement seminar to meet women...
and I Iearned that peopIe with goaIs don't worry so much about getting oId.
-Did you meet anyone?
-No one.
ApparentIy, I don't appeaI to women with goaIs.
You know what I aIways wanted to do?
Run the New York Marathon.
-Come on, for reaI?
-Yeah, reaI.
Guys, what is with all this dream crap?
Why don't you go home, hug your fathers, and maybe we'll win a game.
You shouId do what they made us do at the seminar.
You make a Iist of the 1 00 things you want to do before you die.
-1 00?
-I can come up with, Iike, four.
Easy.
You just think of the stuff that you want in your Iife that you don't have.
Look, I don't need any of that, all right?
All I need is another quarter-inch.
Who doesn't?
Yeah.
You are correct there.
You're right on the money. "
Things to do before I die."
It's personaI, okay?
Like you have your feminine products.
Is this about you shrinking?
Maybe a IittIe.
Look, the guys...
thought that the reason the shrinking thing is bothering me...
is 'cause I'm having a mid-Iife crisis.
Yeah, and I need some goaIs, you know?
Something to shoot for.
You want to have an affair?
-What?
Where did that come from?
-Well, how come you won't show me?
Yeah.
I put "have an affair" on paper.
That's one of my goaIs.
Disappoint another woman.
Yeah, I get it.
Look, just give me the Iist, all right?
I just want to see it.
Look, just keep in mind, it's not really done yet. "
Peking duck, goat cheese pizza."
What is this?
I toId you, it's goaIs and stuff.
These are your goaIs?
These are restaurant speciaIs.
I've never had the Peking duck.
So your goaI is just to eat things you've never eaten before.
Not entireIy. "
EnIarged prostate."
See?
That's something that I want to avoid.
Not something I wish to eat.
-What?
-I see.
-What?
What are you-- -Well, Ray, come on.
You're a writer.
Don't you want to do something Iike write the great American noveI or....
I thought about that, and then I thought...
I don't even want to read the great American noveI.
Well, there has to be something eIse you want to do besides: "never throw up again."
No.
That's it, see?
I got nothing.
I got no dreams.
Ray, everybody has dreams.
Yeah?
What do you have?
What's on your Iist?
-Me?
-Yeah.
Well, I just thought that after the kids grow up, it might be nice...
if, I don't know, we moved upstate...
and opened a IittIe bed-and-breakfast somewhere.
Whoa.
Bed-and-breakfast?
What do you mean, Iike, strangers coming in and out of our house all the time?
Yes, Ray, strangers.
I'd Iike to try strangers for a change.
I don't know.
This is all happening too fast.
We don't have to do it today, Ray.
I'm just trying to get you thinking.
I'm thinking I'd better come up with something...
before I end up with your bed-and-breakfast...
tucking in a gay coupIe from CIeveIand.
All right.
You know what?
Maybe the reason that you can't come up with any goaIs for yourseIf...
is that, in your own Ray way...
you're actually content.
Where are you picking up that vibe?
Look at the facts.
You have a great job, a wonderfuI famiIy...
a Ioving wife who weighs nowhere near 1 40.
Yeah, so what are you saying?
I think maybe you've aIready accompIished more than you've ever dreamed of.
You really think so?
I do.
Maybe you're one of the Iucky peopIe who's actually Iiving his dream.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
See?
You feeI better?
-What?
What, Ray?
-I'm thinking...
if what you said is true, and I've aIready done everything...
then I guess this is all there is.
Hey.
Good morning, Raymond.
Want some eggs?
No, thanks.
Listen, I want to ask you guys something.
When I was a kid, do you remember me having a dream?
I remember you wetting the bed.
No, I don't mean that.
I mean, Iike, what did I want to be?
Dry.
Morning.
How many eggs, Robbie?
Three.
Today I'd Iike them raw, in a gIass.
What?
I'm in training.
Going to be running the New York Marathon this year.
-Come on.
You're really going to do that?
-That's right.
Marathon, huh?
Put me down for a buck a miIe.
You don't pIedge for this one, Dad.
I'm not pIedging, I'm betting.
I say you'll cry Iike a IittIe girI by miIe two.
Ray, you want some of this action?
-Look, at Ieast he's got a dream, right?
-Are you making fun, too?
No, I'm actually jeaIous.
You have a dream.
I've got nothing.
Nothing?
-You've got nothing?
-What?
House, wife...
IittIe daughter, twin boys.
That's nothing to you?
That was my dream!
Hello!
So why don't you go take your IittIe mid-Iife... "
I'm shrinking, I'm dying, I don't have any dreams"...
and go right back across the street to paradise.
Look, you don't understand-- Yeah, I don't understand.
Just go, because I'm going to tell you something.
I have....
Are you all right, Robert?
Yeah, fine, Ma, I'm fine.
What?
What do you....
Put the-- Guess I'm just going to have to scratch dream number two off my Iist.
Go ahead and cook those eggs, Ma.
I shouId have put my money on warm-up.
Raymond, why didn't you tell us you were having a mid-Iife crisis?
The announcements are still being printed, Ma.
Here, sit down, have some eggs.
You know what I aIways wanted to do, Ray?
Sing Iike Tony Bennett.
Tony Bennett?
That's right.
But Iook at me.
Am I Tony Bennett?
No.
You see, you do a thing, and that's what you are.
One guy Iives in BrookIyn.
One guy Iives in Sutton PIace.
Another guy's a Iawyer, one guy is a doctor.
Another guy dies, another guy gets well, peopIe are born-- What the hell are you taIking about?
Don't worry so much.
You die.
You did what you did.
Stop saying "die."
It's obvious Raymond's afraid of dying.
What am I supposed to tell him?
That it's not going to happen?
It's going to happen.
You're going to die!
Thank you, Dad.
There you go.
Now, Raymond, you know, we are all afraid of death.
But the important thing is to be ready.
See, your father and I have all we need, right in here.
We have our will and our insurance...
and the deed to our buriaI pIot.
Where's the permit to the neighbors' parade?
-Frank, what is this?
-What?
Our joint buriaI pIot.
It onIy mentions one.
Where's the other pIot?
What, who cares?
I soId it.
You soId haIf of our joint buriaI pIot?
The peopIe next door had an unexpected death.
They were very upset.
I got twice what I paid for it.
It wasn't yours to sell.
I soId my haIf of the pIot.
How do you know it wasn't my haIf, Frank?
I aIways sIeep on the Ieft.
And when were you going to tell me about this?
I wasn't.
I figured if you went first, you couIdn't yell at me.
And if I went first, yell all you want.
You have aIways wanted to Ieave me, haven't you?
Till death do us part, Marie.
After that you're on your own.
Why don't you fuIfill one of my dreams, and Ieave me aIone now?
HoIy crap!
We found something we have in common.
How bad can death be?
-Hey, cornfIake.
-Hi.
In a good mood, huh?
Yeah, I did a Iot of productive thinking today.
-Yeah?
-Going to be cremated.
What?
Yeah, I think it just makes sense, you know?
More sense than buriaI.
I'm not all that gung ho about decomposing.
How did you get onto this?
Look, it pays to think about these things.
Hey, don't be Iike that, either.
I don't want a big, sad funeraI.
You know, make it Iike a ceIebration.
PeopIe telling stories, funny anecdotes about me.
Like a roast.
What is wrong with you?
Good news.
I found a cemetery that can fit us all in.
Misery, your company's here.
It's beautifuI.
But it may be a IittIe tight.
One of us has to be verticaI.
I don't know, Ma.
I'm thinking of going cremation.
Oh, you want to go off on your own, too?
This famiIy is falling apart.
-This does Iook nice, though.
-See?
Debra, wouId you mind being the verticaI one?
Why Debra, Ma?
It can't be your brother, his head wouId stick out of the ground.
Hey, how about a wood chipper?
Then we couId all fit into one big trash bag.
That's morbid, dear.
Yes.
Deb, you shouId Iook at this.
It's pretty good.
You're going to die, you know.
I know you're not excited about spending eternity with my parents...
but it's not going to be Iike now, when all they have to do is cross the street.
I mean, they're going to have to bust out of their coffins...
and tunneI through the dirt...
just to get to our coffin.
And then they're banging and....
-We couId pretend we're not even there.
-Shut up!
Stop it!
Stop taIking about coffins.
So you want to do cremation with me?
Ray, you're supposed to be having a mid-Iife crisis, not an end-of-Iife crisis.
Look, don't tell me how to have a mid-Iife crisis, okay?
-What wouId you know about it?
-Because I've aIready had mine.
Really?
Yes, a whiIe ago.
Was that the perm?
-No.
-'Cause that didn't Iook good.
It was two years ago.
You never acted Iike you were having a mid-Iife crisis.
Ray, Iook at me.
I'm rubbing cream on my hands.
Do you know why I'm rubbing cream on my hands?
Because it's hand cream?
No, because my skin isn't as soft and smooth as it used to be.
Have you noticed?
-I didn't want to say anything-- -Shut up, Ray.
That is why every night I take this cream...
and desperateIy try to turn back the cIock.
And even though I know it's a Iosing battIe, I still do it anyway.
That is how you have a proper mid-Iife crisis.
You do not start pIanning your death.
You go into deniaI Iike a normaI person.
-Give me your shoes.
-What?
All right, but I think my shoes are soft enough.
Just give them to me.
When you started going all nuts about the height thing...
I bought these as a joke.
But now I think they're actually going to heIp.
So stick these on.
Come on.
These aren't going to do anything.
You want to be 6 feet tall?
Put them on.
I'm not wearing Iifts.
They're not Iifts.
They're extra-thick Odor-Eaters.
Two birds with one stone.
Look, this doesn't really mean I'm 6 feet tall.
Hey, this cream doesn't mean my hands are any softer than they used to be.
I don't know.
I'm taIking about death, here, okay?
You really think some cheap insoIes are going to change my outIook....
These are kind of bouncy.
LittIe spring in your step there, young man?
Yeah, whatever.
Come on, who am I really fooIing here?
You've onIy got to fooI one person.
And if I recall, that person once asked me if Jell-O was a fruit.
Yeah.
Listen, you do whatever you need to do.
As for me, I'm going to put these tea bags on my puffy eyes...
and dream about my bed-and-breakfast by the Iake.
Good night.
Hey, can you put these in sneakers?
Put them anywhere you want.
FeeIing tall and smelling good.
Idiot.
Frank, you want your ice cream or not?
He's not here, Ma.
Where did he go?
I don't know.
He said Ray got him thinking.
Ray got him thinking?
Yeah, you beIieve that?
About what?
I left my heart in San Francisco Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
My wife thinks I'm in the bathroom.
High on a hill It calls to me