Émission TV: Everybody Loves Raymond - 2x18

What?
What's wrong?
What happened?
You kicked me.
I did?
Right in the garden of good and eviI.
Honey, I'm sorry.
What is....
I think we found the kicker.
What is she doing in our bed again?
It's every night.
Good God, y'all!
Honey, is there anything I can do?
You can Iearn to Iove haIf a man.
Hi, I'm Ray, and I Iive here in Long IsIand with my wife, Debra...
my 6-year-oId daughter and twin 2-year oId boys.
My parents...
Iive across the street.
That's right.
And my brother Iives with them.
Now, not every famiIy wouId defy gravity for you...
but mine wouId because-- Everybody Ioves Raymond.
Hey, you didn't....
Look at this pIace.
Let's just decIare it a Iandfill.
Remind me again, why did we have the chiIdren?
Because I'm a sassy, sexy man.
You just can't keep your hands off me.
Yes, I can.
-No, you can't.
-Yes, I can.
What are you throwing the big bear for?
-Daddy.
-What?
You shouIdn't throw toys.
She started it.
-Ally, what are you doing up, sweetie?
-Can I sIeep in your bedroom?
Not this time, honey, okay?
Look, you have a beautifuI Swedish bed that took Daddy three days to put together.
But there's monsters in my room.
-Come on-- -That's okay, go ahead.
SIeep in our bed.
Okay.
What did you do that for?
She's having troubIe sIeeping aIone.
She needs her rest.
-Her rest?
What about my rest?
-Ray, she's afraid of monsters.
Come on.
Well, I'm afraid of her.
What do you want to do about it?
-What does the book say?
-Which book?
I don't know.
How To Grow a Kid.
They all say different things.
They're very confusing.
So why don't you just read the damn books?
If they're confusing for you....
You might Iike them, Ray.
Some of them have pictures of breasts.
They're just drawings.
But the twins can sIeep.
How come they're not afraid of monsters?
I don't know.
One of them sIeeps whiIe the other one's on guard duty.
I can't do this tonight.
I can't keep going to work Iike this.
-Well, what about me?
-What?
You don't have to....
What's that, Ray?
I don't have to....
You see?
I can't think cIearIy with the no sIeep.
I'm taIking nonsense here.
Of course you....
Frank, get in here.
Your eggs are getting coId.
If he thinks I'm gonna warm them up for him, he's got another thing coming.
-You tell him, Ma.
You're not his sIave girI.
-You're damn right.
-I'm here for you, Ma.
-Good.
-Good morning, dear.
You hungry?
-No.
What's the matter?
What did you do to yourseIf?
My back is a IittIe stiff, that's all.
I sIept haIf off the bed Iast night 'cause I didn't want to get kicked again.
Raymond, a married coupIe shouId never go to bed angry.
Not a hard and fast ruIe in this house.
But it's not about Debra and me.
It's about Ally.
She keeps sIeeping in our bed at night.
Monsters?
-How'd you know?
-I know.
Now you come down.
Are you happy?
Those eggs have been sitting there for haIf an hour...
and I am not warming them up.
How can you eat them?
They're stone-coId!
They're fine.
Give me them.
I'm warming them up.
-Ma, Iisten, you still got that heating pad?
-Sure we do.
Robbie, get Raymond the heating pad.
I got a better idea.
-I'll crack your back.
-What?
No.
-CaIm down.
-No, get out of here!
I know what I'm doing.
Take a deep breath.
-Will you Iet go of me?
-You're too tense.
ReIax!
You'll sever his spine!
Frank, heIp me.
Better?
No.
I'll get the heating pad.
Ray, you Iook awfuI.
Toast, Marie.
I see you're still cIipping your toenaiIs at the tabIe, Dad.
You know something, Raymond?
Maybe it's Debra's cooking.
That's why Ally gets up in the middIe of the night...
because of the terribIe indigestion.
Ma, Ally eats fine, okay?
It's just we have to get her back in her own bed, that's all.
-We got all the books.
-Books?
I needed no books when I was raising you kids.
No.
And my parents didn't use them, either.
Good, I come from a Iong Iine of illiterates.
Raymond dear...
to raise chiIdren, all you need is Iove and common sense.
When I had troubIe sIeeping, Mom used to do something for me.
Remember that, Ma?
One of my best memories growing up.
You'd give me a warm cup of that coIored sugar water.
Put me right out.
That was booze.
Booze?
A stiff shot of sambuca in there, and it was, "Lights out, Bobby!"
-You gave me Iiquor?
-Not Iiquor, dear.
Liqueur.
I don't beIieve it.
-All those speciaI times, they were just-- -Happy hours.
Mom, you are sick!
We were good parents.
We didn't give you cashews 'cause you couId choke on them.
What's the big deaI?
It's not Iike we Iet him drive that way.
All right, I'm going to bed.
HoId on, Ray.
I want to tell you something about bed.
-PIease don't.
-I know what's going on.
You got to do something.
It affects the marriage.
Am I wrong?
Whatever.
I remember what we used to do when you were a kid.
Maybe I shouIdn't hear about this.
Tough Iove.
Every time you crawIed into our bed, I'd say, "Marie, take him back."
You bawIed your IittIe eyes out...
but after a whiIe, you got with the program.
I don't think I couId put Ally through that.
What are you going to do?
You're going to turn your girI into a sissy?
You can't coddIe your chiIdren, 'cause when you send them out there...
they're going to move right back in with you.
I don't want to hear it, Ma.
-It was for your own good.
-For my own good?
Just Iike the ice cream truck?
Remember that?
You toId me every time the music pIayed that meant they were out of ice cream.
Sugar's not good for you.
It is the worst thing for a hangover.
Daddy.
-Ray, come on.
-What?
-What are you waking me up for?
-Daddy!
She's calling you.
This is your pIan.
You have this big tough-Iove idea.
You deaI with her.
You're not supposed to deaI with her, okay?
That's the "tough" part.
-Go to bed, Ally.
-Read me another story.
Come on, Ray.
How can you do this?
BeIieve me, there are worse things we couId do.
I'm hungry.
Ray, come on.
Go to her.
We're never going to get sIeep this way, either.
She's just pIaying us.
BeIieve me, this is for her own good, okay?
If you coddIe her now, she'll never move out.
Hello?
There's a striking simiIarity...
between the tough-Iove pIan and the dad-does-nothing pIan.
I know, that's what attracted me to it at first.
But now I think it all makes sense.
-Mommy!
-Well, not to me.
-Okay, honey, I'm coming.
-No.
You can't go.
You're going to turn her into a sissy, okay?
You have to have seIf-discipIine, Iike me.
Just Iay down.
-No.
-Let go!
Don't bring her in here.
You're going to undo all my work.
Okay, fine, Ray.
I won't bring her in here.
God forbid we shouId disturb you.
I'm going to sIeep in her room.
Come on, Deb.
What are you...
I can't sIeep by myseIf.
I'm hungry.
Daddy!
Catch me.
-Did you have a good night's sIeep, Ally?
-Yes.
Good for you.
No, don't even act tired.
What?
I am tired.
Poor Ray, you got a queen-size bed all to yourseIf.
I spent the night on the Swedish rack.
Well, I couIdn't sIeep without you.
I've grown accustomed to your nose whistIe.
Yeah, Ray, it's all about you and how you couIdn't sIeep.
-Did you drink from this aIready?
-No.
-Well, the top didn't pop.
-What?
Did you check it at the supermarket?
'Cause the top was popped up aIready.
It's fine, Ray.
You got to check them when you buy them.
Why don't you buy them?
Then you can check them!
Yeah, if I bought them, I wouIdn't buy one that had been tampered with.
Nobody tampered with it.
I just had some.
You just said you didn't.
I forgot.
-Well, when you opened it, did it pop up-- -I don't know!
I am tired!
I'm not drinking this.
I'll wait and see what happens to you.
All right, I'm sorry.
Look, don't you see what's happening?
We're hostages.
She's using sIeep deprivation to break us.
-What are we going to do?
-"We"?
There's been no "we" here, Ray.
I've been "we."
How about you be "we"?
You sIeep in Ally's room tonight.
No, I can't.
She needs to sIeep with at Ieast one of us.
And tonight, that's you.
I'm "we" and "us" now, right?
That's, Iike, four peopIe.
Then why don't the four of you heIp me get the kids ready for schooI?
Look, about tonight...
I have a big day tomorrow.
You know what, Ray?
Tough Iove.
All right, honey.
Now, Mommy went to bed earIy tonight...
but we don't need Mommy to fall asIeep, right?
-Right.
-Okay.
Good night.
Good night, Ma.
Good night, sweetie.
We'll be okay.
We'll be fine.
Yeah, just keep it down, okay?
Are you sure this is going to be all right with Debra?
Listen, she's going to thank me for a good night's sIeep...
and it'll prove to her that it doesn't have to be one of us in here...
and we have other options....
You got to be out of here by 5 a.m.
-I'm happy to heIp.
-Yeah, okay.
-What are you doing?
Where are you going?
-I have to use the bathroom.
Now?
I toId you to go before you came over.
I didn't have to go then.
Great.
Now the whoIe pIan just bIows up...
because you couIdn't go when you were supposed to?
I'm sorry.
Can I go now, Raymond?
-All right.
-Thanks, Raymond.
And no humming.
What are you doing?
I thought you were gonna spend the night in Ally's room.
No, it's okay.
I toId Ally if she needs to come in that I'm here for her.
But I think my IittIe taIk did the trick...
and we're going to have a good night's sIeep, you and I.
Well, I know I am.
-Okay.
Good night.
-Good night.
Do you hear humming?
That's the pipes.
No, that's outside.
It's not....
You know what?
I don't hear anything.
I think it stopped.
Yeah, it stopped because it was nothing to begin with.
-You sure that wasn't Ally?
-No.
She's asIeep.
I read to her, and I tucked her in...
you know, with the bIanket with the ruffIy ruffIes.
And then I sang to her.
You know, I sang really soft.
You know, as I'm singing to her you couId see her IittIe eyes were just....
And then she said, "Daddy, I Iove you."
And then just....
Off to sIeepyIand.
-That's so cute.
-What?
Where are you going?
I was so wiped out, I forgot to kiss her good night.
I'll give her-- No, Iet her sIeep.
Look, she kissed me goodnight, so here.
From her to me to you.
You don't want to wake her.
You don't want to take that chance...
'cause that will spoiI everything.
For you.
-That's true.
-Yes, that's true.
I'm very true.
-Good night.
-Good night.
I Iove you.
I Iove you, too.
Thanks for heIping, Ray.
Ray, I think that's for you.
-Ray, Ally's at the door.
-Well, of course it's Ally.
Go to sIeep, Ally.
Remember what we taIked about.
I'll see you in the morning.
Where's Marie?
I just got back from the Iodge.
I can't find Marie anywhere.
-Well, she's not here.
-That's right, Debra.
You're right.
Mommy.
-Are you okay?
-Mommy, Grandma turned into a monster!
Grandma?
Ally, honey.
Come here, baby.
It's just me with some coId cream.
Marie, what are you doing here?
Yeah, I Iooked all over for you.
I Ieft a note on my pillow saying I was sIeeping over here tonight.
Why are you sIeeping over here tonight?
We're waiting, Ma.
You snuck your mother in to sIeep with Ally?
No!
Yeah!
Just for tonight, that's all.
All I wanted was one night's sIeep for us, that's all.
This is restfuI.
Nobody checked this with me.
Why shouId they?
It's none of your business.
-Where you sIeep is my business!
-Oh, yeah?
That's right.
You're my wife.
You sIeep with me.
-You care where I sIeep all of a sudden?
-I don't care!
I just can't sIeep without you!
Frank, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't kiss me with that stuff!
-Ray, can we go home now?
-Yes.
Once again, thanks for everything.
That was kind of sweet, wasn't it?
Ally, can you go to your room, pIease?
I need to speak to Daddy.
No, she doesn't have to go.
She's scared.
Ally, you can stay here as Iong as you want.
The twins.
They can't sIeep.
Come on, guys.
The bed's open!
PIenty of good seats still avaiIabIe.
The famiIy bed.