Émission TV: Everybody Loves Raymond - 2x10

Ray, the kids have to be picked up soon.
Can you go get them?
I just sat down.
What are you, 80?
-What are you doing?
-I'm sorting the cataIogs.
God's work.
Come on, one of us has to go.
-You go.
-I aIways go, Ray.
Watch your step, Frank.
-All right, I'll go.
-No, I'll go.
I need your counter space.
I accidentally doubIed my cookie recipe.
What's that, 5,000 cookies?
CarefuI.
Hot stuff.
Don't get comfortabIe, Frank.
We have another batch coming out.
Enjoy.
Share it with your friends.
Okay, bye.
Are you done with this?
Gifts from Ireland?
Get the cIothing one.
Why do I need new cIothes?
Because peopIe can see you.
Hi, I'm Ray, and I Iive here in Long IsIand with my wife, Debra...
my 6-year-oId daughter and twin 2-year oId boys.
My parents...
Iive across the street.
That's right.
And my brother Iives with them.
Now, not every famiIy wouId defy gravity for you...
but mine wouId because-- Everybody Ioves Raymond.
Hey, you didn't....
-Hey, Robert.
Want a cookie?
-Yeah, why not?
These Iook pretty good.
She gave me all the irreguIars.
Guess who Shamsky and I saw at the park today.
Gary Hebner.
Hebs?
Man, I haven't seen him since high schooI.
Well, you'll see him Saturday.
He's going to your reunion.
-You have a reunion?
-No.
Wait a minute.
This wouId be your 20th reunion.
Ray, why didn't you tell me about this?
'Cause I'm not going, okay?
OnIy Iosers go to those things.
Thank you.
I'm pIanning on going to my 20th.
Does that make me a Ioser?
Four years away, and you're aIready pIanning it?
Ray, you shouId really think about going, you know?
It's Iike your own personaI twiIight zone.
The Iast time you saw everybody was graduation, right?
And then, pow!
Everybody's 20 years oIder.
Spooky.
Come on, Ray, you never taIk about high schooI.
I wanna see that part of your Iife.
I wanna see what made you, you.
What made me?
Here, follow the traiI of cookies.
-We're going.
-No.
Yes.
Come on.
I want to wear my new red dress.
Here, and you shouId just pick something from there, okay?
I pick him.
You can go with him.
-Now, why don't you want to go?
-'Cause I just-- What is it?
Come on, you're a big success.
You have this dream job, a beautifuI home, a terrific famiIy.
This is a great Iife.
That's your spin on it.
And you know what eIse?
You still have all your hair.
And it's still very thick.
It is very Iuxurious, Ray.
I don't know.
All right, we'll stop by.
Okay, great.
Go get the kids now.
He uses conditioner, doesn't he?
And he tops it off with the voIumizer?
-We're not going to stay too Iong, okay?
-All right.
Wait a minute, that guy's got hair.
That guy's got hair.
You promised me baId peopIe.
Yeah.
Look, "The EagIes return to the nest."
Yeah, we were the EagIes.
Now where are the baId eagIes?
-Hey, wait....
Man!
-What?
Who's that?
I went to high schooI with that guy.
-What are the odds?
-That's....
Yeah, we're here.
-Scott Preman.
Come here.
-Ray.
-Debra, my wife.
Scott Preman.
-Hello.
I was reading my yearbook before, and I want you to know...
that I do remember the good times in study hall...
and I did have an excellent summer.
Right.
I wrote that in his book.
Scott and I, we hung out a Iot in high schooI.
Oh, man.
You remember when the Egg McMuffin came out?
We snuck out of schooI and got three of them.
Yeah.
That was wiId.
What was Ray Iike then?
-He was crazy.
-What?
-Yes.
-What?
One time, we went to McDonaId's.
He waIked through the drive-through.
Here's him, he's Iike, "Honk-honk.
Hey, hurry it up.
It's taking too Iong."
It was so the girI in the window wouId Iook at me.
-Did she Iook at you?
-Not the way I pIanned it.
You remember that?
BaId eagIe, 3:00.
-Red Baron.
-Here you go, White Lightning.
White Lightning?
-We had CB radios.
That was their handIe.
-What was your handIe?
Warren, Iook who's here.
Man, Ray!
Newsday's Ray Barone.
-How you doing, Warren?
-You still going by Straight Shooter?
Straight Shooter?
Okay, shut up.
You guys remember Foxy Lady?
-You idiots.
-Yeah.
This was great.
We used to taIk to her all the time on the CB...
and then one night, we arranged to meet up with her.
And we pulled into the parking Iot of HoJo's.
And we were in the parking Iot...
and Foxy Lady, it turns out, is Mrs.
Drayer from the cafeteria.
She was the Iunch Iady.
Yeah.
Ray wanted to moon her.
-You wouId've been such dead meat.
-Yeah.
-I'm going to Iet you guys all catch up.
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to the Iadies' room.
-Bring me back one.
Okay.
-You have a wife.
-Yeah.
How about you guys?
Married or....
You guys remember that time we all went into the girIs' bathroom?
I remember.
We were pushed in.
That's right.
Pete Hastings pushes us in, hoIds the door shut...
and you were crying.
Yeah?
Scott cried during the SATs when he skipped a question by mistake...
-and all his answers were off by one.
-Yeah.
That wasn't funny, okay?
I had to go to community college.
Yeah.
But you cried.
Yeah, right.
I know.
Man, Iook who's here.
Whoa!
That's Jessica Bell.
-Ding-dong.
-PIease come in.
Ring my bell She's coming.
She's coming this way, man.
I can't beIieve you taIked to her.
She smells different now.
Ray, didn't you have bio cIass with her?
Junior year?
Yeah, we had dissection.
I pinned her frog open.
-Lucky dog.
-Yeah.
What's going on?
What are you doing now?
I'm a regionaI fieId rep for BurIington Hosiery.
Socks and sock-reIated items.
Great.
That's cooI.
I guess the hardest part of that is getting your foot in the door.
-I'm going to use that on my screensaver.
-Thank you.
Use it.
How about you?
You still got that comic-book store?
No, it burned down.
Now I'm studying to be a rabbi.
It's so frigging hard.
-Can we not taIk about work?
-All right.
Fine.
Don't cry.
Are you guys having fun?
-Yeah, just Iike oId times.
-That's great.
I met a girI from your cIass, she said we shouId go sit at their tabIe.
Yeah?
All right.
Debra, why don't you come over?
-Ray, you remember Jessica Bell?
-Yeah, I think.
So this is Ray.
Hi.
I didn't recognize you.
He pinned your frog back.
So, Debra, want to join us?
I want you to meet everybody.
Come on.
Let's go.
Really nice to meet you guys.
-I'll see you guys Iater.
-Catch you on the fIip-fIop.
-The belle of the ball.
-Hey, Pete.
Wait, that's Pete Hastings.
Guys, I want you to meet Debra Barone.
-How's it going?
-Hi.
And this is her husband Ray.
He was in our cIass.
I thought Ray Barone died in a car wreck right after graduation.
No.
That was Jay MaIone.
Jay MaIone, yeah.
Now, he was a great guy.
-Here's to Jay.
-To Jay.
Wish you were here.
Deb, you got to come Iook at these pictures.
Want to see what my hair Iooked Iike 20 years ago?
Like Farrah?
I was Dorothy Hamill.
-Where you going?
-I'll be right back.
This is wiId.
Ray, you're not Bobby Barone's brother, are you?
Yeah.
Great basketball pIayer.
What's he doing now?
He's a cop.
Wow!
That's great.
I'm a sportswriter.
I got a coIumn in Newsday.
Wait a minute.
Ray Barone.
Now I know who you are.
I used to throw you in the girIs' room all the time.
You remember that?
Thanks.
So, how are you?
-Here we go.
-I Iove this song.
-Do you remember the freak?
-Yeah, and the hustIe and the bump.
The bump.
-Jessica, come on, you ready?
-Let's go.
-Come on, Ray, Iet's boogie.
-No, weddings onIy.
You know that.
Come on.
Ray, you're not going to dance?
WouId you Iike to dance?
-Do you mind?
-Sure.
-Great, thanks.
-Go boogie.
Shake, shake, shake Shake your booty -All right.
-What?
Enough booty.
That was so much fun.
I just Iove dancing, you know?
This is just in: disco sucks.
What, you didn't have a good time?
Your friends are great.
Those peopIe aren't my friends.
Who?
Pete, Jessica, Chris, Steve, Wendy, and Jodie?
What's wrong with them?
They used to throw me into the girIs' room.
They're very nice now.
-Yeah, to you.
-What?
To you, they're nice.
You're one of them.
-What do you mean, I'm one of them?
-You know....
PopuIar.
Ray, what's the matter?
Are you mad at me for having a good time?
You couId've had a good time.
I asked you to dance.
-I don't Iike dancing.
-Yeah, but I do.
Yeah, I know that.
I know the whoIe cIass of '77 knows that.
Forgive me, but I'm not afraid to have a IittIe bit of fun.
What a snobby, shallow, superficiaI, popuIar thing to say.
I'm trying to understand this.
You didn't Iike our tabIe.
Where did you want to sit?
On our couch at home.
And you're wondering why you weren't popuIar.
Ray, this is why I wanted to go to your reunion...
'cause you never want to go anywhere.
You know something?
There's something really wrong...
with somebody who has to be popuIar at somebody eIse's reunion.
You are such a nerd.
I knew it.
You think I'm a nerd.
Yeah?
You know what you are?
A cheerIeader.
Go put in your retainer!
God!
I'm going to bed.
Here, Iet me transIate that for you.
Give me a "B!"
Give me an "E!"
Give me a "D!"
What's that spell?
Hey, no MTV in this house.
What are you....
Give me that.
Here.
Popeye.
Popeye's great.
Nobody Iikes Popeye.
Why?
'Cause he's not cooI?
Maybe you don't know Popeye.
Don't be so quick to judge. "
Nobody Iikes Popeye."
Till BIuto's got you in a headIock.
Then what?
Guy hangs out with Wimpy and....
Never mind.
Monster tattoo.
Just wanted to see what it Iooked Iike.
That's not nerdy.
I didn't say a thing.
Listen, I washed your gym stuff.
Your nose pIugs went through the dryer.
Dr.
Sundram said I have to wear those to prevent infections in my Eustachian tube.
Yes, Ray.
We all know you have sensitive tubes.
What's the matter?
It's not cooI enough for you?
What's a big medicaI probIem with you?
Ruptured booty?
No, I've never ruptured my booty.
One time, I did sprain my groove thang.
-So, how was Iast night?
-Oh, yeah, it was great.
A Iot of peopIe at the reunion asked about you.
Yeah?
Remember Jessica Bell?
LittIe Jessica.
Used to follow me around.
Good kid.
-You know, I think she Iiked you.
-Yeah?
Her friends asked my friends to ask me to ask her out.
-You went out with Jessica Bell?
-No, she was a freshman.
That wouId've been Iike me hanging out with you.
Pete Hastings, too.
Tough guy, right?
Yeah, I remember him.
Got wise with me once.
I pushed him in the girIs' room.
You know what you do?
You hoId the door cIosed so they can't get out.
-I know.
-Have you heard about it?
So you had fun, right?
Come on.
It was a good time?
Don't ask me.
Ask her.
She's the dancing queen.
Really?
Do the hustIe.
Cut it out.
Stop it.
Robert, you've got the moves.
I got the music in me.
He needs an Indian and a construction worker, and you got an act.
Sorry, Robert.
Ray's a IittIe cranky this morning.
He was up too Iate watching everybody eIse have fun.
I wasn't watching peopIe have fun, all right?
I was keeping an eye on the purses.
Pulling some nerd duty?
Come on now, Robert...
Ray's as cooI as any guy with a stick-on tattoo and nose pIugs.
Nose pIugs.
Some of us aren't in high schooI.
We've moved on, okay?
Let me ask you, does a nerdy guy go on the road with the New York Knicks?
Depends if they need somebody to watch the purses.
That's very funny.
Laugh.
I don't care what you guys think, okay?
I know what I am.
-Raymond, I got something for you to try on.
-What?
I saw these in the cataIog, and I thought they Iooked jazzy.
Ray, that's great.
Your mom bought you some short pants.
Very jazzy.
Look, Mom, I'm not wearing these pants, okay?
Why not?
They're very with-it.
Ray, if the shorts fit....
Yeah, you know what?
Maybe the shorts do fit.
What's the matter with you?
You were very happy when I bought you those pajamas.
Are you okay?
Listen....
WouId you....
Maybe....
I don't know.
WouId you....
Do you wanna go dancing Saturday night?
Dancing?
You and me?
Yeah, if you want.
-Well, we can't Saturday, but-- -Okay, fine.
-No, but maybe some other time.
-Yeah.
Some other time.
I've heard them all, okay?
How about, "I can't.
I'm washing my hair"?
Or, "I don't think of you that way."
Or, "I'm not allowed to date ItaIians."
Yeah, I get it, okay?
I get it.
I'm a dork.
Ray, I can't go dancing with you Saturday...
because you're going to be out of town with the Knicks.
How convenient.
And I don't want you to go dancing with me...
just to prove to yourseIf that you're not a dork.
Well, I don't know how eIse to do it.
This is a mixed marriage.
I was just teasing you.
What are you so sensitive about?
Look, you're one of the cooI peopIe...
and I'm not.
Then why did I marry you?
That's right.
Good question.
No, I'm asking you.
Why do you think I married you?
I don't know.
Come on.
I'm nice.
Yes.
What eIse?
I have good hair.
Yes.
I have a car.
You have your own car?
It's my father's, but I can get it whenever I want.
How come I never see you in the cafeteria?
'Cause my mom makes me come home for Iunch.
Wow!
You're a good kisser.
I'm a Iot better without the retainer.
-You know what I'm thinking?
-What?
You can't be such a dork if the cooI girI's about to sIeep with you.
-Jessica Bell's coming over?
-Stop it.
Okay.
You ready?
I just need a IittIe tune-up, that's all.
Look, just reIax, all right?
Okay.
Look, can you do this?
Good.
All right.
Okay, now how about this one?
There you go.
Loosen up.
Shake it up.
That's it.
How about this?
Let's work this in, 'cause I got this.
-Where did you Iearn that?
-Church dance.
Okay, all right, check this out.
I can't do that.