Émission TV: The Simpsons - 1x4
{2336}{2388}Ooh!
{2651}{2746}- Yeah.
Oh, yeah?|- Lisa] Yeah.
Yeah!
{2750}{2825}- Yeah?
Oh, yeah?|- Yeah.
{2828}{2879}Hey, what's the problem here?
{2882}{2957}We were fighting over|which one of us loves you more.
{2959}{3068}you were?|Aw, well, go ahead.
{3070}{3128}- you love him more.|- No, you do.
{3130}{3197}- No, I don't.|- Yes, you do!
{3199}{3283}you better get this out|of your system right now!
{3287}{3400}I don't want you embarrassing|me at my boss's picnic.
{3407}{3493}Mmm.
Marshmallow.
{3568}{3634}- Homer!
{3637}{3751}I'm tying to get the unfortunate noises|out of my system while I can.
{3751}{3829}I don't want to embarrass myself|at the company picnic.
{3874}{3982}Are you sure that's enough?
The boss|loves your delicious gelatin desserts.
{3984}{4126}Oh, Homer, Mr.
Burns|just said he liked it...
once.
{4126}{4237}That's the only time he's ever spoken|to me without using the word "bonehead."
{4366}{4417}There it is, kids!
{4420}{4552}Stately Burns Manor.|Heaven on Earth.
{4552}{4653}Okay, now look, my boss|is gonna be at this picnic.
{4657}{4758}I want you to show your father|some love and/or respect.
{4761}{4827}- Tough choice.|- I'm picking respect.
{4831}{4906}Good to see you.|Glad you could make it.
{4909}{4992}Oh, Thank you, Mr.
Burns.|I'm so glad you invited us.
{4992}{5085}- Not me.
I had to miss|little league for this.|- Quiet, Tom.
{5089}{5214}Oh, please, don't fight.|Just go out back and have a good time.
{5214}{5274}Fire that man, Smithers.
{5274}{5349}I don't want him or his|unpleasant family to ruin my picnic.
{5352}{5409}He'll be gone|by the tug-of-war, sir.
{5409}{5493}- Excellent.|-Uh, afternoon, Mr.
Burns.
{5496}{5571}Uh, hello, there, uh--|uh-- {5571}{5655}- Simpson, Homer.|- Here yougo, sir.
{5658}{5811}Ah!
Oh, yes.
Uh, oh, and this|must be your lovely wife, Marge.
{5814}{5889}Oh, and look at little,|uh, Lisa.
{5891}{5949}Why, she's growing|like a weed.
{5951}{6045}-And this must be, uh, Brat.|- Bart.
{6048}{6200}Don't correct the man, Brat.
Oh, boss,|look what we brought-- gelatin desserts.
{6200}{6288}Oh, for the love of Peter.|That's all anybody brought.
{6288}{6387}Some damn fool went around|telling everyone I love that slimy goop.
{6389}{6473}Well, toss it in the pile|over there.
{6477}{6537}And...
make yourselves at home.
{6537}{6633}Hear that, Dad?
You can lie around|in your underwear and scratch yourself.
{6633}{6708}- Now, you listen to me--|- Trouble, Simpson?
{6708}{6867}No.
just congratulating the|son on a fine joke about his old man.
{6986}{7079}Now remember,|as far as anyone knows, {7082}{7139}we're a nice,|normal family.
{7142}{7234}Hey, Bart, last one in|the fountain's a rotten egg!
{7238}{7324}D-oh!
Be normal.|Be normal!
{7328}{7430}Mmm!|What an adorable little girl.
{7433}{7498}Thank you.
{7498}{7586}Why don't we dump them in the nursey|and get a glass of punch?
{7586}{7637}Oh, I'm not much|of a drinker.
{7637}{7723}Hey, isn't that your boy there|torturing the swans?
{7727}{7811}- Bart!
{7813}{7882}Maybe I will take you up|on that punch.
{7963}{8054}Gee, do you think we should|leave the kids unsupervised?
{8054}{8171}You're right.|There.
{8236}{8339}- Bart!
Lisa!
{8341}{8422}- Where are you kids?
D-oh!|- Whoops.
{8425}{8509}- Gotya!|- Careful.
Blow a gasket, lose your job.
{8512}{8584}The father/son-sack race...
{8584}{8674}will begin in five minutes|on the north lawn.
{8678}{8809}Participation is mandatoy.|Repeat, mandatoy.
That is all.
{8813}{8941}- you remember the rules?|- Shut my mouth, and let your boss win.
{8941}{8998}- Hey!
{9001}{9145}I don't know who to love more:|my son, Joshua, who's captain|of the footballteam,: {9145}{9231}or my daughter, Amber,|who got the lead in the school play.
{9231}{9315}Usually, I use their grades|as a tiebreaker, {9319}{9375}but they both got|straight A's this term.
{9379}{9439}- What's a mother to do?|- Mm-hmm.
{9442}{9538}- Well, I sense greatness in my family.|- Your family?
{9538}{9669}Well, it's a greatness|that others can't see, but it's there.
{9669}{9802}And if it's not true greatness we have,|we're at least average.
{9838}{9898}I don't want to alarm anyone, {9900}{10027}but I think there's|a little "al-key-hol" in this punch.
{10104}{10194}- Mr.
Burns, are you ready?|- Yes.
{10197}{10263}- Are youset?|- Yes.
{10266}{10336}- Go, Mr.
Burns.
{10563}{10662}Man, this is pathetic.|I'm goin' for it!
{10665}{10743}Bart, no!|No!
No!
No!
{10778}{10845}Oh, no, wait.|Oh, no.
Bart, don't.
{10848}{10898}Don't.
No!
{11063}{11187}Close one this year.
{11192}{11306}- Here we sit enjoying the shade|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine {11306}{11424}- Drink the drink that I have made|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine {11424}{11499}He's here at last my one and only|Good-bye friends {11501}{11576}-And don't be lonely|-Hey, brother, pour on the wine {11576}{11696}- Marge, I need you!|- Hey, Homie, did you try the punch?
{11696}{11760}Snap out of it, Marge.
{11762}{11829}You've gotta come with me.|The boss is going to make a toast.
{11831}{11898}Well, I'm not much of a drinker.
{11900}{11990}Why, you picked a perfect time to start.
{12155}{12228}Musicians, cease that infernal tootling.
{12269}{12359}"Thank you all..."|uh,"for coming."
{12476}{12569}- Marge, knock it off.|- Well, I'm sory.
{12569}{12625}- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.|- Marge!
{12629}{12707}" But now it's time|to say good-bye.
{12710}{12790}Please get off my property|until next year."
{12794}{12904}I suggest you don't dawdle.
The hounds|will be released in ten minutes.
{13045}{13151}- Did you have a good time, son?|- Yeah, thanks, Pop.
{13153}{13294}Aw, that's the kind of family unity|I like to see.
Smithers.
{13297}{13354}- Yes, sir?|- Get that man's name.
{13357}{13427}I predict big things for him|down at the power plant.
{13429}{13487}Quick, Bart,|give me a kiss.
{13489}{13564}Kiss you?|But, Dad, I'm your kid.
{13564}{13642}Bart, please?|Five bucks for a kiss.
{13726}{13846}I have never seen such|an obvious attempt to curry my favor.
{13850}{13927}Fabulous observation, sir.|Just fabulous.
{13930}{14023}- Boy, I'm glad that's over.
{14026}{14122}- Now we can go home and act normal.|- What do you mean?
{14122}{14242}Aw, come on.|That cornball routine?
{14245}{14326}"I love you, Daddy."|Give me a break.
{14328}{14410}- I pity you.|- Why?
{14412}{14500}- After you.|- Thank you so much.
{14502}{14635}- Me first!
No, me.
Me.
Me.|- No, me.
No, me.
Me.
Me.
{14637}{14746}Honey, you look so tired.|Would you like me to drive?
{14749}{14845}Oh, Homie, I think|I'm going to be sick.
{14847}{14940}There was a farmer|who had a dog {14944}{15006}And Bingo was his name|Oh {15010}{15120}B-i-n-g-o|B-i-n-g-o {15124}{15231}B-i-n-g-o and Bingo|was his name, oh {15234}{15294}Homie, get in the car.
{15298}{15378}- This is where you belong.|- Yeah, Homer.
{15381}{15435}Room for one more.
{15438}{15585}One of us.
One of us.|One of us.
One of us.
{15681}{15792}B-i-n-g-o|B-i-n-g-o {15795}{15870}-B-i-n-g-o {16008}{16119}The father of the family|has worked all day...
{16122}{16182}to find this food|for his children.
{16184}{16304}Unable to fend for themselves,|the babybaldeaglets...
{16308}{16424}are dependent on their mother|regurgitating food which she has found.
{16424}{16499}- Hey!|- Look, eveybody.
{16503}{16559}Yesterday was|a real eye-opener.
{16562}{16632}We've got to do better|as a family.
{16634}{16776}Tonight, we're not going to shovel food|in our mouths while we stare at the TV.
{16778}{16898}We're going to eat at the|dining room table like a normal family.
{16901}{16986}- Happy, Dad?|- Yes.
{16986}{17042}Good.|Commence shoveling.
{17042}{17147}No.
We're going|to say grace first.
{17150}{17207}Okay.
Rub-a-dub-dub,|thanks for the grub.
{17285}{17360}No!|Ignore the boy, Lord.
{17363}{17462}Can the chatter, and bow your heads.
{17465}{17585}Dear Lord, Thank you|for this microwave bounty, {17587}{17645}even though|we don't deserve it.
{17647}{17729}I mean, our kids are|uncontrollable hellions.
{17732}{17810}Pardon my French,|but the Y act like savages.
{17810}{17876}Did you see them|at the picnic?
{17879}{17975}Of course you did.
You're everywhere.|You're "omnivorous."
{17977}{18056}O Lord, why did you|smite me with this family?
{18059}{18151}- Amen!|- Let's eat.
{18155}{18194}No, I'm not done yet!
{18196}{18256}But, Homer, how long are we|supposed to sit here...
{18260}{18346}and listen to you bad-mouth us|to the Man Upstairs?
{18346}{18458}I'm sory, Marge, but sometimes|I think we're the worst family in town.
{18460}{18518}Maybe we should move|to a larger community.
{18520}{18595}- D-oh!|- Don't have a cow, Dad.
{18595}{18673}The sad truth is,|all families are like us.
{18676}{18803}you think so, huh?
Well, there's|only one way to find out.
Follow me.
{18951}{19060}Look at that, kids.|No fighting.
No yelling.
{19060}{19114}- No belching.|- The dad has his shirt on.
{19117}{19170}Look, napkins!
{19174}{19275}- These people are obviously freaks.|- Oh, you think so?
{19279}{19365}Well, let's see|what's behind door number two.
{19365}{19459}- What are they doing?|- They're having a conversation.
{19462}{19543}The Y actually enjoy|talking to each other.
{19543}{19588}I wish I could hear|what they're saying.
{19590}{19681}Papa, I believe I heard|some rustling in the bushes.
{19681}{19777}Hmm.
I did too.|Better get the gun.
{19777}{19839}Where's he going?
{19842}{19942}Probably to get the old man|his pipe and slippers.
{20274}{20382}Whoa, look at this place.|What a dump!
{20385}{20460}It's worse than you think.
{20463}{20541}I just trampled|this poor sap's flower bed.
{20545}{20622}- Homer, this is our house.|- Aaah!
{20625}{20691}- Are you coming in, Homer?|- No, no.
{20691}{20766}I wanna be alone with my thought.
{20826}{20916}Fans are getting a bit anxious here.|- Another beer, Moe.
{20916}{21012}What's-a matter, Homer?|Bloodiest fight of the year.
{21015}{21081}You're sitting there like|a thirsty bump on a log.
{21084}{21152}- Eddie.|- Evening, Moe.
{21156}{21231}- Want some pretzels?|- No, thanks.
We're on duty.
{21234}{21321}- A couple beers would be nice, though.|- Two bucks, boys.
{21324}{21375}Just kidding.
{21377}{21474}Good one, Moe.
We're looking for|a family of Peeping Toms...
{21474}{21542}who's been terrorizing|the neighborhood.
{21545}{21624}Quiet, boy.|Let the nice people enjoy their beers.
{21678}{21759}Ah, don't worry.|This dog has the scent.
{21761}{21881}- What's gotten into Bobo?|- I got some wieners in my pocket.
{21884}{21983}That figures.|Come on, you stupid dog.
{22034}{22175}you know, Moe, my mom once said|something that really stuck with me.
{22178}{22307}She said," Homer,|you're a big disappointment."
{22307}{22450}And God bless her soul,|she was really on to something.
{22450}{22540}Don't blame yourself, Homer.|you got dealt a bad hand.
{22544}{22607}You got crummy little kids|that nobody can control.
{22609}{22705}you can't talk that way about my kids!|Or at least two of them.
{22709}{22787}- Why, you got two I haven't met?|- Why, you-- {22789}{22901}- Here's five you haven't met.|- A tremendous right.
That's gotta hurt.
{22903}{23021}- This fight is over!
{23023}{23107}All-StarBoxing|is brought to you by...
{23111}{23194}Dr.
Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
{23197}{23261}Huh?
What?
{23263}{23366}- Honey, aren't you going to work today?|- Oh, I don't think so.
{23368}{23471}Honey, you have a problem, and|it won't get better till you admit it.
{23473}{23548}I admit this:|you better shut your big yap.
{23551}{23660}- Oh, you shut up.
No, you shut up!|- No, you shut up!
{23662}{23767}- Shut up!|- Why don't you both shut up?
{23770}{23863}Hi, friends.|I'm Dr.
Marvin Monroe.
{23866}{23956}Does this scene look familiar?|Ifso, I can help.
{23958}{24048}No gimmicks.
No pills.|No faddiets.
{24052}{24199}Just family bliss, or double|your money back.
So call today.
{24202}{24316}Dr.
Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
{24316}{24379}Why don't you call right now?
{24381}{24445}When will I learn?
{24447}{24541}The answer to life's problems|aren't at the bottom of a bottle.
{24541}{24621}They're on TV!
{25005}{25093}All right,|time for a family meeting.
{25095}{25164}Why can't we have a meeting|when you're watching TV?
{25168}{25318}Now look, you know and I know this|family needs help, professional help.
{25320}{25395}So I've made us an appointment|with Dr.
Marvin Monroe.
{25398}{25440}The fat guy on TV?
{25443}{25554}You're sending us to a doctor|who advertises on pro wrestling?
{25554}{25629}Boxing, Lisa, boxing.|There's a world of difference.
{25629}{25704}Gee, Homer, are you sure|this is the right thing to do?
{25704}{25782}Honey, I've given|this matter a lot of study, {25782}{25869}and of all the commercials I saw,|his was the best.
{25869}{26000}- All it costs is $250.|- We don't have that kind of money.
{26004}{26079}Well, then, we're just|going to have to dig deep.
{26082}{26166}- Marge, go get the kids' college fund.|- Hey!
{26168}{26253}- Oh, Homer.|- Oh, come on, Marge.
{26256}{26363}Why scrimp now on the off chance that|they'll actually get in some place?
{26367}{26457}Forty-eight.|Forty-nine.
Fifty.
{26459}{26517}Eighty-eight dollars|and fifty cents.
{26519}{26648}That's it?
That's the college fund|we've been saving for all these years?
{26651}{26723}I guess I'd have needed|a partial scholarship.
{26726}{26771}We're not licked yet.
{26771}{26873}To save this family, we're going to|have to make the supreme sacrifice.
{26876}{26978}No, Dad.|Please don't pawn the TV.
{26981}{27060}Oh, come on, Dad,|anything but that.
{27062}{27148}Homer, couldn't we pawn|my engagement ring instead?
{27152}{27290}Now, I appreciate that, honey,|but we need $150 here!
{27293}{27392}Afternoon, Simpson.|What can I do for ya?
{27395}{27521}Would you pay $150|for this lovely Motorola?
{27524}{27605}- Is it cable ready?|- Ready as she'll ever be.
{27607}{27706}Mister, you got yourself a deal.
{27869}{27965}All our money,|the college funds, the TV.
{27965}{28070}Homer, you're driving a stake through|the hearts of those who love you.
{28070}{28174}- Hey, no pain, no gain.|- Will you be paying by cash or check?
{28178}{28309}Cash, of course.|I've got $250 right here with me.
{28313}{28435}I'm holding it right now.|Here it is.
Look.
{28438}{28525}Check it out.|250 big ones.
{28528}{28579}If you really want|to impress her, {28583}{28639}show her the big, empty space|where our TV used to be.
{28643}{28684}- Bart!|- Come on, family.
{28687}{28798}Let's go celebrate our newfound|ability to express love.
{28802}{28879}I'm taking you out for|frosty chocolatemilkshakes.
{28882}{28920}Yea!
{28987}{29095}There go my young-girl dreams of Vassar.
{29098}{29214}Hello, I'm Dr.
Marvin Monroe.|No doubt you recognize me from TV.
{29218}{29274}- We would ifwe had one.|- Lisa!
{29274}{29347}No, no, Homer,|don't stifle the youngster.
{29349}{29433}Your family must feel free|to express itself.
{29437}{29506}That's what these pads|and jumbo markers are for.
{29508}{29613}I want you to draw for me|your fears, your anxieties, {29617}{29697}the roots of your|unhappiness.
{29697}{29761}Take a deep,|cleansing breath.
{29827}{29887}And begin.
{29961}{30076}- Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
{30076}{30153}No surprises here.
{30156}{30250}- Homer?
{30252}{30351}- Homer, what have you got for us?
{30415}{30516}- Homer?|- Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
{30518}{30579}If you had been|paying attention, {30582}{30645}perhaps you would have noticed|that your family sees you...
{30649}{30795}as a rather stern authority figure,|an ogre, if you will.
{30795}{30894}- Now, Doctor, that's not true.|- Ogre is such a strong word.
{30894}{30984}Right on, Doc!|Another successful diagnosis.
{30984}{31037}- That does it!|- Whoa!
{31041}{31185}Okay, you wanna kill each|other.
That's good.
That's healthy.
{31187}{31290}There's nothing necessarily wrong|with hostile conflict.
{31293}{31404}All I ask is that you use|my patented aggression therapy mallets.
{31406}{31509}- Good idea.|- All right.|- I don't know.
{31511}{31608}Okay.
Let's take another|deep, cleansing breath.
{31962}{32105}These mallet things are padded|with foam rubber.
What's the point?
{32105}{32168}They'd work much better|without the padding, Doc.
{32172}{32234}- No, no.
That's not true.
{32237}{32290}- Ah!
Give me that.|- See?
{32294}{32408}Yes, well, that concludes|this portion of our treatment.
{32410}{32498}- Are we cured yet?|- Don't be ridiculous.
{32501}{32648}you will be, but it's going to require|somewhat more unorthodox methods.
{32651}{32713}- Unortho-what?|- Don't worry.
{32713}{32809}I'll have plenty of time to explain|while I warm up the...
{32809}{32869}electric generator.
{32873}{32957}Eveyone comfy?|Good.
{32957}{33022}Now, don't touch any of|those buttons in front of you...
{33022}{33182}for a very important reason, i.e., you|are wired into the rest of your family.
{33185}{33313}you have the ability to shock them,|and they have the ability to shock-- {33316}{33365}-just testing.
{33367}{33431}- Why, you--|- No, Homer, not yet.
{33433}{33526}This is what is known|as aversion therapy.
{33530}{33631}When someone hurts you emotionally,|you will hurt them physically.
{33635}{33751}And gradually you will learn|not to hurt each other at all.
{33753}{33826}And won't that be|wonderful, Homer?
{33828}{33899}- Oh, yes, Doctor.
{33899}{33976}- Whoa!|- Aaah!
{33976}{34096}-How could you shock your little sister?|-My finger slipped.
{34099}{34195}- So did mine.|- Aaaah!
{34197}{34255}- Bart, Lisa, stop that.
{34347}{34435}No, no.
Now, wait a minute.
{34438}{34543}Wait!
Wait!|Folks, if I could-- {34545}{34624}This is not the way|to get healthy!
{34749}{34858}No!
You don't understand, Simpsons!
{34860}{34948}- People, please!
{35010}{35068}Boy.
{35070}{35137}Someone's really|gobbling up the juice, sir.
{35137}{35196}Excellent.|Excellent.
{35196}{35322}Perhaps this energy conservation fad|is as dead as the dodo.
{35325}{35433}- No!
No!
Simpsons!
{35437}{35505}- Son of a--|-Stop!
{35505}{35613}- Dr.
Monroe, your other patients|have fled the building.|- Stop!
{35615}{35673}You're damaging|the equipment.
{35883}{35997}-Nice hair, Mom.|-I thought we were making real progress.
{35997}{36119}No, I'm sorry, you're not!|You've just got to go.
{36123}{36224}Wait a minute, Doc,|your TV commercial said, {36224}{36312}family bliss|or double our money back.
{36314}{36396}Oh, but that was just-- {36398}{36503}All right.|Get the money.
{36506}{36623}20,40,60,80,1.20,40,60,80,2.|20,40,60,80,3.
{36623}{36725}20,40,60,80,4.|20,40,60,80,500.
{36728}{36806}Just go, and never tell|anyone youwere here!
{36810}{36900}Wow, 500 smackers.
{36902}{37022}Homer, how wonderful.|Our first pleasant surprise.
{37025}{37119}It's not the money, as much as|the feeling that we earned it.
{37121}{37169}you did it, Dad.
{37169}{37316}Shouldn't we be heading down|to the pawn shop to get our TV back?
{37319}{37397}That piece of junk?|Forget it.
{37400}{37460}We're gonna get a new TV.
{37460}{37550}Twenty-one inch screen,|realistic flesh tones...
{37552}{37670}and a little cart so we can wheel it|into the dining room on holidays.
{37670}{37799}- Yea!|- Oh, Homer, we love you.
{2651}{2746}- Yeah.
Oh, yeah?|- Lisa] Yeah.
Yeah!
{2750}{2825}- Yeah?
Oh, yeah?|- Yeah.
{2828}{2879}Hey, what's the problem here?
{2882}{2957}We were fighting over|which one of us loves you more.
{2959}{3068}you were?|Aw, well, go ahead.
{3070}{3128}- you love him more.|- No, you do.
{3130}{3197}- No, I don't.|- Yes, you do!
{3199}{3283}you better get this out|of your system right now!
{3287}{3400}I don't want you embarrassing|me at my boss's picnic.
{3407}{3493}Mmm.
Marshmallow.
{3568}{3634}- Homer!
{3637}{3751}I'm tying to get the unfortunate noises|out of my system while I can.
{3751}{3829}I don't want to embarrass myself|at the company picnic.
{3874}{3982}Are you sure that's enough?
The boss|loves your delicious gelatin desserts.
{3984}{4126}Oh, Homer, Mr.
Burns|just said he liked it...
once.
{4126}{4237}That's the only time he's ever spoken|to me without using the word "bonehead."
{4366}{4417}There it is, kids!
{4420}{4552}Stately Burns Manor.|Heaven on Earth.
{4552}{4653}Okay, now look, my boss|is gonna be at this picnic.
{4657}{4758}I want you to show your father|some love and/or respect.
{4761}{4827}- Tough choice.|- I'm picking respect.
{4831}{4906}Good to see you.|Glad you could make it.
{4909}{4992}Oh, Thank you, Mr.
Burns.|I'm so glad you invited us.
{4992}{5085}- Not me.
I had to miss|little league for this.|- Quiet, Tom.
{5089}{5214}Oh, please, don't fight.|Just go out back and have a good time.
{5214}{5274}Fire that man, Smithers.
{5274}{5349}I don't want him or his|unpleasant family to ruin my picnic.
{5352}{5409}He'll be gone|by the tug-of-war, sir.
{5409}{5493}- Excellent.|-Uh, afternoon, Mr.
Burns.
{5496}{5571}Uh, hello, there, uh--|uh-- {5571}{5655}- Simpson, Homer.|- Here yougo, sir.
{5658}{5811}Ah!
Oh, yes.
Uh, oh, and this|must be your lovely wife, Marge.
{5814}{5889}Oh, and look at little,|uh, Lisa.
{5891}{5949}Why, she's growing|like a weed.
{5951}{6045}-And this must be, uh, Brat.|- Bart.
{6048}{6200}Don't correct the man, Brat.
Oh, boss,|look what we brought-- gelatin desserts.
{6200}{6288}Oh, for the love of Peter.|That's all anybody brought.
{6288}{6387}Some damn fool went around|telling everyone I love that slimy goop.
{6389}{6473}Well, toss it in the pile|over there.
{6477}{6537}And...
make yourselves at home.
{6537}{6633}Hear that, Dad?
You can lie around|in your underwear and scratch yourself.
{6633}{6708}- Now, you listen to me--|- Trouble, Simpson?
{6708}{6867}No.
just congratulating the|son on a fine joke about his old man.
{6986}{7079}Now remember,|as far as anyone knows, {7082}{7139}we're a nice,|normal family.
{7142}{7234}Hey, Bart, last one in|the fountain's a rotten egg!
{7238}{7324}D-oh!
Be normal.|Be normal!
{7328}{7430}Mmm!|What an adorable little girl.
{7433}{7498}Thank you.
{7498}{7586}Why don't we dump them in the nursey|and get a glass of punch?
{7586}{7637}Oh, I'm not much|of a drinker.
{7637}{7723}Hey, isn't that your boy there|torturing the swans?
{7727}{7811}- Bart!
{7813}{7882}Maybe I will take you up|on that punch.
{7963}{8054}Gee, do you think we should|leave the kids unsupervised?
{8054}{8171}You're right.|There.
{8236}{8339}- Bart!
Lisa!
{8341}{8422}- Where are you kids?
D-oh!|- Whoops.
{8425}{8509}- Gotya!|- Careful.
Blow a gasket, lose your job.
{8512}{8584}The father/son-sack race...
{8584}{8674}will begin in five minutes|on the north lawn.
{8678}{8809}Participation is mandatoy.|Repeat, mandatoy.
That is all.
{8813}{8941}- you remember the rules?|- Shut my mouth, and let your boss win.
{8941}{8998}- Hey!
{9001}{9145}I don't know who to love more:|my son, Joshua, who's captain|of the footballteam,: {9145}{9231}or my daughter, Amber,|who got the lead in the school play.
{9231}{9315}Usually, I use their grades|as a tiebreaker, {9319}{9375}but they both got|straight A's this term.
{9379}{9439}- What's a mother to do?|- Mm-hmm.
{9442}{9538}- Well, I sense greatness in my family.|- Your family?
{9538}{9669}Well, it's a greatness|that others can't see, but it's there.
{9669}{9802}And if it's not true greatness we have,|we're at least average.
{9838}{9898}I don't want to alarm anyone, {9900}{10027}but I think there's|a little "al-key-hol" in this punch.
{10104}{10194}- Mr.
Burns, are you ready?|- Yes.
{10197}{10263}- Are youset?|- Yes.
{10266}{10336}- Go, Mr.
Burns.
{10563}{10662}Man, this is pathetic.|I'm goin' for it!
{10665}{10743}Bart, no!|No!
No!
No!
{10778}{10845}Oh, no, wait.|Oh, no.
Bart, don't.
{10848}{10898}Don't.
No!
{11063}{11187}Close one this year.
{11192}{11306}- Here we sit enjoying the shade|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine {11306}{11424}- Drink the drink that I have made|- Hey, brother, pour on the wine {11424}{11499}He's here at last my one and only|Good-bye friends {11501}{11576}-And don't be lonely|-Hey, brother, pour on the wine {11576}{11696}- Marge, I need you!|- Hey, Homie, did you try the punch?
{11696}{11760}Snap out of it, Marge.
{11762}{11829}You've gotta come with me.|The boss is going to make a toast.
{11831}{11898}Well, I'm not much of a drinker.
{11900}{11990}Why, you picked a perfect time to start.
{12155}{12228}Musicians, cease that infernal tootling.
{12269}{12359}"Thank you all..."|uh,"for coming."
{12476}{12569}- Marge, knock it off.|- Well, I'm sory.
{12569}{12625}- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.|- Marge!
{12629}{12707}" But now it's time|to say good-bye.
{12710}{12790}Please get off my property|until next year."
{12794}{12904}I suggest you don't dawdle.
The hounds|will be released in ten minutes.
{13045}{13151}- Did you have a good time, son?|- Yeah, thanks, Pop.
{13153}{13294}Aw, that's the kind of family unity|I like to see.
Smithers.
{13297}{13354}- Yes, sir?|- Get that man's name.
{13357}{13427}I predict big things for him|down at the power plant.
{13429}{13487}Quick, Bart,|give me a kiss.
{13489}{13564}Kiss you?|But, Dad, I'm your kid.
{13564}{13642}Bart, please?|Five bucks for a kiss.
{13726}{13846}I have never seen such|an obvious attempt to curry my favor.
{13850}{13927}Fabulous observation, sir.|Just fabulous.
{13930}{14023}- Boy, I'm glad that's over.
{14026}{14122}- Now we can go home and act normal.|- What do you mean?
{14122}{14242}Aw, come on.|That cornball routine?
{14245}{14326}"I love you, Daddy."|Give me a break.
{14328}{14410}- I pity you.|- Why?
{14412}{14500}- After you.|- Thank you so much.
{14502}{14635}- Me first!
No, me.
Me.
Me.|- No, me.
No, me.
Me.
Me.
{14637}{14746}Honey, you look so tired.|Would you like me to drive?
{14749}{14845}Oh, Homie, I think|I'm going to be sick.
{14847}{14940}There was a farmer|who had a dog {14944}{15006}And Bingo was his name|Oh {15010}{15120}B-i-n-g-o|B-i-n-g-o {15124}{15231}B-i-n-g-o and Bingo|was his name, oh {15234}{15294}Homie, get in the car.
{15298}{15378}- This is where you belong.|- Yeah, Homer.
{15381}{15435}Room for one more.
{15438}{15585}One of us.
One of us.|One of us.
One of us.
{15681}{15792}B-i-n-g-o|B-i-n-g-o {15795}{15870}-B-i-n-g-o {16008}{16119}The father of the family|has worked all day...
{16122}{16182}to find this food|for his children.
{16184}{16304}Unable to fend for themselves,|the babybaldeaglets...
{16308}{16424}are dependent on their mother|regurgitating food which she has found.
{16424}{16499}- Hey!|- Look, eveybody.
{16503}{16559}Yesterday was|a real eye-opener.
{16562}{16632}We've got to do better|as a family.
{16634}{16776}Tonight, we're not going to shovel food|in our mouths while we stare at the TV.
{16778}{16898}We're going to eat at the|dining room table like a normal family.
{16901}{16986}- Happy, Dad?|- Yes.
{16986}{17042}Good.|Commence shoveling.
{17042}{17147}No.
We're going|to say grace first.
{17150}{17207}Okay.
Rub-a-dub-dub,|thanks for the grub.
{17285}{17360}No!|Ignore the boy, Lord.
{17363}{17462}Can the chatter, and bow your heads.
{17465}{17585}Dear Lord, Thank you|for this microwave bounty, {17587}{17645}even though|we don't deserve it.
{17647}{17729}I mean, our kids are|uncontrollable hellions.
{17732}{17810}Pardon my French,|but the Y act like savages.
{17810}{17876}Did you see them|at the picnic?
{17879}{17975}Of course you did.
You're everywhere.|You're "omnivorous."
{17977}{18056}O Lord, why did you|smite me with this family?
{18059}{18151}- Amen!|- Let's eat.
{18155}{18194}No, I'm not done yet!
{18196}{18256}But, Homer, how long are we|supposed to sit here...
{18260}{18346}and listen to you bad-mouth us|to the Man Upstairs?
{18346}{18458}I'm sory, Marge, but sometimes|I think we're the worst family in town.
{18460}{18518}Maybe we should move|to a larger community.
{18520}{18595}- D-oh!|- Don't have a cow, Dad.
{18595}{18673}The sad truth is,|all families are like us.
{18676}{18803}you think so, huh?
Well, there's|only one way to find out.
Follow me.
{18951}{19060}Look at that, kids.|No fighting.
No yelling.
{19060}{19114}- No belching.|- The dad has his shirt on.
{19117}{19170}Look, napkins!
{19174}{19275}- These people are obviously freaks.|- Oh, you think so?
{19279}{19365}Well, let's see|what's behind door number two.
{19365}{19459}- What are they doing?|- They're having a conversation.
{19462}{19543}The Y actually enjoy|talking to each other.
{19543}{19588}I wish I could hear|what they're saying.
{19590}{19681}Papa, I believe I heard|some rustling in the bushes.
{19681}{19777}Hmm.
I did too.|Better get the gun.
{19777}{19839}Where's he going?
{19842}{19942}Probably to get the old man|his pipe and slippers.
{20274}{20382}Whoa, look at this place.|What a dump!
{20385}{20460}It's worse than you think.
{20463}{20541}I just trampled|this poor sap's flower bed.
{20545}{20622}- Homer, this is our house.|- Aaah!
{20625}{20691}- Are you coming in, Homer?|- No, no.
{20691}{20766}I wanna be alone with my thought.
{20826}{20916}Fans are getting a bit anxious here.|- Another beer, Moe.
{20916}{21012}What's-a matter, Homer?|Bloodiest fight of the year.
{21015}{21081}You're sitting there like|a thirsty bump on a log.
{21084}{21152}- Eddie.|- Evening, Moe.
{21156}{21231}- Want some pretzels?|- No, thanks.
We're on duty.
{21234}{21321}- A couple beers would be nice, though.|- Two bucks, boys.
{21324}{21375}Just kidding.
{21377}{21474}Good one, Moe.
We're looking for|a family of Peeping Toms...
{21474}{21542}who's been terrorizing|the neighborhood.
{21545}{21624}Quiet, boy.|Let the nice people enjoy their beers.
{21678}{21759}Ah, don't worry.|This dog has the scent.
{21761}{21881}- What's gotten into Bobo?|- I got some wieners in my pocket.
{21884}{21983}That figures.|Come on, you stupid dog.
{22034}{22175}you know, Moe, my mom once said|something that really stuck with me.
{22178}{22307}She said," Homer,|you're a big disappointment."
{22307}{22450}And God bless her soul,|she was really on to something.
{22450}{22540}Don't blame yourself, Homer.|you got dealt a bad hand.
{22544}{22607}You got crummy little kids|that nobody can control.
{22609}{22705}you can't talk that way about my kids!|Or at least two of them.
{22709}{22787}- Why, you got two I haven't met?|- Why, you-- {22789}{22901}- Here's five you haven't met.|- A tremendous right.
That's gotta hurt.
{22903}{23021}- This fight is over!
{23023}{23107}All-StarBoxing|is brought to you by...
{23111}{23194}Dr.
Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
{23197}{23261}Huh?
What?
{23263}{23366}- Honey, aren't you going to work today?|- Oh, I don't think so.
{23368}{23471}Honey, you have a problem, and|it won't get better till you admit it.
{23473}{23548}I admit this:|you better shut your big yap.
{23551}{23660}- Oh, you shut up.
No, you shut up!|- No, you shut up!
{23662}{23767}- Shut up!|- Why don't you both shut up?
{23770}{23863}Hi, friends.|I'm Dr.
Marvin Monroe.
{23866}{23956}Does this scene look familiar?|Ifso, I can help.
{23958}{24048}No gimmicks.
No pills.|No faddiets.
{24052}{24199}Just family bliss, or double|your money back.
So call today.
{24202}{24316}Dr.
Marvin Monroe's|Family Therapy Center.
{24316}{24379}Why don't you call right now?
{24381}{24445}When will I learn?
{24447}{24541}The answer to life's problems|aren't at the bottom of a bottle.
{24541}{24621}They're on TV!
{25005}{25093}All right,|time for a family meeting.
{25095}{25164}Why can't we have a meeting|when you're watching TV?
{25168}{25318}Now look, you know and I know this|family needs help, professional help.
{25320}{25395}So I've made us an appointment|with Dr.
Marvin Monroe.
{25398}{25440}The fat guy on TV?
{25443}{25554}You're sending us to a doctor|who advertises on pro wrestling?
{25554}{25629}Boxing, Lisa, boxing.|There's a world of difference.
{25629}{25704}Gee, Homer, are you sure|this is the right thing to do?
{25704}{25782}Honey, I've given|this matter a lot of study, {25782}{25869}and of all the commercials I saw,|his was the best.
{25869}{26000}- All it costs is $250.|- We don't have that kind of money.
{26004}{26079}Well, then, we're just|going to have to dig deep.
{26082}{26166}- Marge, go get the kids' college fund.|- Hey!
{26168}{26253}- Oh, Homer.|- Oh, come on, Marge.
{26256}{26363}Why scrimp now on the off chance that|they'll actually get in some place?
{26367}{26457}Forty-eight.|Forty-nine.
Fifty.
{26459}{26517}Eighty-eight dollars|and fifty cents.
{26519}{26648}That's it?
That's the college fund|we've been saving for all these years?
{26651}{26723}I guess I'd have needed|a partial scholarship.
{26726}{26771}We're not licked yet.
{26771}{26873}To save this family, we're going to|have to make the supreme sacrifice.
{26876}{26978}No, Dad.|Please don't pawn the TV.
{26981}{27060}Oh, come on, Dad,|anything but that.
{27062}{27148}Homer, couldn't we pawn|my engagement ring instead?
{27152}{27290}Now, I appreciate that, honey,|but we need $150 here!
{27293}{27392}Afternoon, Simpson.|What can I do for ya?
{27395}{27521}Would you pay $150|for this lovely Motorola?
{27524}{27605}- Is it cable ready?|- Ready as she'll ever be.
{27607}{27706}Mister, you got yourself a deal.
{27869}{27965}All our money,|the college funds, the TV.
{27965}{28070}Homer, you're driving a stake through|the hearts of those who love you.
{28070}{28174}- Hey, no pain, no gain.|- Will you be paying by cash or check?
{28178}{28309}Cash, of course.|I've got $250 right here with me.
{28313}{28435}I'm holding it right now.|Here it is.
Look.
{28438}{28525}Check it out.|250 big ones.
{28528}{28579}If you really want|to impress her, {28583}{28639}show her the big, empty space|where our TV used to be.
{28643}{28684}- Bart!|- Come on, family.
{28687}{28798}Let's go celebrate our newfound|ability to express love.
{28802}{28879}I'm taking you out for|frosty chocolatemilkshakes.
{28882}{28920}Yea!
{28987}{29095}There go my young-girl dreams of Vassar.
{29098}{29214}Hello, I'm Dr.
Marvin Monroe.|No doubt you recognize me from TV.
{29218}{29274}- We would ifwe had one.|- Lisa!
{29274}{29347}No, no, Homer,|don't stifle the youngster.
{29349}{29433}Your family must feel free|to express itself.
{29437}{29506}That's what these pads|and jumbo markers are for.
{29508}{29613}I want you to draw for me|your fears, your anxieties, {29617}{29697}the roots of your|unhappiness.
{29697}{29761}Take a deep,|cleansing breath.
{29827}{29887}And begin.
{29961}{30076}- Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
{30076}{30153}No surprises here.
{30156}{30250}- Homer?
{30252}{30351}- Homer, what have you got for us?
{30415}{30516}- Homer?|- Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
{30518}{30579}If you had been|paying attention, {30582}{30645}perhaps you would have noticed|that your family sees you...
{30649}{30795}as a rather stern authority figure,|an ogre, if you will.
{30795}{30894}- Now, Doctor, that's not true.|- Ogre is such a strong word.
{30894}{30984}Right on, Doc!|Another successful diagnosis.
{30984}{31037}- That does it!|- Whoa!
{31041}{31185}Okay, you wanna kill each|other.
That's good.
That's healthy.
{31187}{31290}There's nothing necessarily wrong|with hostile conflict.
{31293}{31404}All I ask is that you use|my patented aggression therapy mallets.
{31406}{31509}- Good idea.|- All right.|- I don't know.
{31511}{31608}Okay.
Let's take another|deep, cleansing breath.
{31962}{32105}These mallet things are padded|with foam rubber.
What's the point?
{32105}{32168}They'd work much better|without the padding, Doc.
{32172}{32234}- No, no.
That's not true.
{32237}{32290}- Ah!
Give me that.|- See?
{32294}{32408}Yes, well, that concludes|this portion of our treatment.
{32410}{32498}- Are we cured yet?|- Don't be ridiculous.
{32501}{32648}you will be, but it's going to require|somewhat more unorthodox methods.
{32651}{32713}- Unortho-what?|- Don't worry.
{32713}{32809}I'll have plenty of time to explain|while I warm up the...
{32809}{32869}electric generator.
{32873}{32957}Eveyone comfy?|Good.
{32957}{33022}Now, don't touch any of|those buttons in front of you...
{33022}{33182}for a very important reason, i.e., you|are wired into the rest of your family.
{33185}{33313}you have the ability to shock them,|and they have the ability to shock-- {33316}{33365}-just testing.
{33367}{33431}- Why, you--|- No, Homer, not yet.
{33433}{33526}This is what is known|as aversion therapy.
{33530}{33631}When someone hurts you emotionally,|you will hurt them physically.
{33635}{33751}And gradually you will learn|not to hurt each other at all.
{33753}{33826}And won't that be|wonderful, Homer?
{33828}{33899}- Oh, yes, Doctor.
{33899}{33976}- Whoa!|- Aaah!
{33976}{34096}-How could you shock your little sister?|-My finger slipped.
{34099}{34195}- So did mine.|- Aaaah!
{34197}{34255}- Bart, Lisa, stop that.
{34347}{34435}No, no.
Now, wait a minute.
{34438}{34543}Wait!
Wait!|Folks, if I could-- {34545}{34624}This is not the way|to get healthy!
{34749}{34858}No!
You don't understand, Simpsons!
{34860}{34948}- People, please!
{35010}{35068}Boy.
{35070}{35137}Someone's really|gobbling up the juice, sir.
{35137}{35196}Excellent.|Excellent.
{35196}{35322}Perhaps this energy conservation fad|is as dead as the dodo.
{35325}{35433}- No!
No!
Simpsons!
{35437}{35505}- Son of a--|-Stop!
{35505}{35613}- Dr.
Monroe, your other patients|have fled the building.|- Stop!
{35615}{35673}You're damaging|the equipment.
{35883}{35997}-Nice hair, Mom.|-I thought we were making real progress.
{35997}{36119}No, I'm sorry, you're not!|You've just got to go.
{36123}{36224}Wait a minute, Doc,|your TV commercial said, {36224}{36312}family bliss|or double our money back.
{36314}{36396}Oh, but that was just-- {36398}{36503}All right.|Get the money.
{36506}{36623}20,40,60,80,1.20,40,60,80,2.|20,40,60,80,3.
{36623}{36725}20,40,60,80,4.|20,40,60,80,500.
{36728}{36806}Just go, and never tell|anyone youwere here!
{36810}{36900}Wow, 500 smackers.
{36902}{37022}Homer, how wonderful.|Our first pleasant surprise.
{37025}{37119}It's not the money, as much as|the feeling that we earned it.
{37121}{37169}you did it, Dad.
{37169}{37316}Shouldn't we be heading down|to the pawn shop to get our TV back?
{37319}{37397}That piece of junk?|Forget it.
{37400}{37460}We're gonna get a new TV.
{37460}{37550}Twenty-one inch screen,|realistic flesh tones...
{37552}{37670}and a little cart so we can wheel it|into the dining room on holidays.
{37670}{37799}- Yea!|- Oh, Homer, we love you.