Émission TV: Desperate Housewives - 2x13

previously on despertae housewives If you're trying to come between me and my husband,I will take you down bring it on Gaberille threat the nun you good to go Susan hit on her doctoer so you came to ask me out,cause i'll say yes bree's daughter let her intention being known it's amazing how far we're willing to go Andrew,give me one good reason why shouldn't call the police because i'm your son all in the name of love If there is one thing Eddie Brit understood,it was nature of war after two fail marriages and countless rocky romances She had learned love was a battle field it is the easiest way to survive the carnage was total surrender i was thinking a vacation of roma will be so romantic Vegas is cheaper could you put yor underwear in the heper can you do it you standing right there i got a hankering for chinese food tonight i'm so over rice Let's do pizza but the day comes for every assaulter when she must take a stand what do you think you're doing?
and fight it's time for my game i want to watch my movie Eddie,this is important to me fine i have stuff to do anyway You see when it came to man,Eddie had a battle plan of her own you have five minutes for Eddie?
that's some knot you tied yeah?
that's no fun it's not tight you know what would be hot,whipped cream you're so bad you have no idea yes,eddie brit understood the nature of war Eddie it has been ten minutes Where 's the damn whipped cream She also know to the victor go the spoils Eddie!
the guest bedroom on the second floor of Whiteapples' house had the best view in all misteria lane from it's windows one could see Mike Delfino's house one down the street all the way to old huber's place one on the other but unfortunately for the room's newest guest the view is about to change,dramatically What on earth is he doing here?
matthew,go to your room mom and i gonna have a talk now he has a room ?have your lost your mind relax I take newpapers set to the windows people can't see him kela��get back down there nono we had a talk it's fine he understand what could happen if he was discovered for five sec he understand and forget you know that ?
we can protect him without treating him like an animal I'm keeping him safe from the police from the fosters from him themselves he is not going back downstairs Since when do you talk to me like that Since i share the risk i have a few annoucement I would like to acknowledge Mrs harber for holding the potluck dinner for hard working she is adorable ins't she she is okay next saturday the woman's ministration...
she's gorgeous knock it off baby's baby' sound like a broken record i just had miscarriage it will take some time befor i get ready for get pregant again any idea you'll be ready��you know stop it i just enjoy it the here and now we're together,we have just backed on track life is good before we wrap up,we have a dear friend back form her missionary trip to tell us about her experiences Sister mary Bernard son of a bitch Daniel Honey are you in there i'm doing homework really because i'm holding your backpack with all your schoolbooks hold on thanks mom i was just doing a lttle research on line I m here mess and grab some laundry pleas not right now honey stop complaining one day you will wish someone offer to do your laundry Daniel,question is there a black man hiding under your bed what is going on ?
i just thought you should know i came home to find your song hiding underneath my daughter's bed it just seems to me inside,right now i apologize for my son 's behavior it won't happen again for the house we sell and we're moving now,if you excuse me how is it going?
not good i'm trying to salvage the pitch from the black frozen yorghout campaign you know what kills me yeah?
here we are T-minus 9 hours eleven minutes from the biggest pitch in our company's history and i have nothing even vaguely presentable i will get the coffe thank you you wanna go over it and toss some ideas around no that's okay i know you're exhausted you should go to bed come on honey let's do this let's nail this sucker what do we got we got nothing okay black frozen yoghourt let you taste bud come in from the cold okay you know whatever i just knock the rust off i know i can do better blacks the froe-yor the make you go wow come on i'm sorry i just really need focus here black frozen yoghourt beacuse our cows are better or froghourt froghourt it's fun to eat fun to say That 's actually good really?
no,the cow part that can work we'll make them characters we'll humanize them Oh!
i know i know celebrity cow spooks people yes that's exactly what i was thinking you know like famouse characters like reworen Moo what do you think of that thank you i have fabulous time me too I guess i'd better get going julie is staying in her father's house and i'm all alone here sometimes it actually make me a little nervous turn the TV on that 's what i do oh that's a good idea I forgot i have a bottle of wine it's already chilled in the refrigerator i don't know it's just really relax me that's good so we still good for thursday yeah thursday is great good night do i just repulse you no why we've been on three dates and you just keep acting like a perfect gentleman getting a little odd Susan,you make no mistake i'm like inches away from ripping off you clothes right now and you stopping why?
I'm still your doc,it's not quite ethical,yeah why are we dating it's only temporary once you 're well i'm done treating you all bets are off okay what the hell okay that's sorta feel unethical thank you for meeting with me sure i didn't invite you to the house but the place's real pick site carlos i'm a nun not a moron i know gab despise me she is just jealous that's all of me,oh,isn't that silly she refuse to believe that i can connect with anyone on a spiritual level we do have an amazing connection that's why i want to talk to you when i saw you at the church i can tell instantly you're unhappy okay,maybe i have been a little down lately tell me this whole have no kids thing sister mary i want them so bad gab still refuse to give them to you to be fair,she did have miscarriage recently what if she decide to agaist kids what if this just all stalk tacted that i'm screwed sorry you're right you're screwed unless?
unless what american catholics guide to annulments sister mary what is exactly what are you saying here I'm saying god help those who help themselves hey,i got great news we just landed the black frozen yorghout account really they love the pitch ?
The talking cows rocking their world how do they like my bull clinton idea well i rewrote some of stuff we work on but you know essentially it'sthe same and they eat it up that is fantastic finally we can afford hire another executive terrific,tell me did they like the promtion plan about a bounch of cow eating contest the pitch was running long so we cut off a few things I'm just glad they love my idea to be fair do they like the hugh play cows they're calling in for meeting i gotta go i love you bye so this is your spleen normally it would over here because your missing ligament structure it has wander under over there right next to the liver we discuss about this aftermeaning every one thinks you should remove it immediately okay i guess you guys have all sorts of new exciting technians you don't even cut open the body no not really no?
so we're talking surgery well i guess i can handle that people got cut open everyday so i assume you will let me do the surgery you ?
it seems natural i know the most about your case i promise you will be in very good hands what?
the first time you see me naked i will be on an operating table i promise i will be a perfect gentleman my eyes will be strictly on the spleen docter mrs baker is here for her follow-up we need to schedule susan for splenectomy,with me Oh,congratulations!
So I will call you later?
Oh,I am so happy for him.He's such a doll.
I'm curious.
Um...
why were youso congratulatory?
Oh,the spleen surgery-- it'll be his first!
Hey,honey.
Can we talkabout something?
Sure.
So I've been thinkingabout the whole baby thing.
And how ever long it takes for you to feel ready,I am fine with.
Okay.
But here's the deal-- I need to knowthat this isn't a maybe.
I want a promisethat we will have children.
I'm sorry.I can't promise that.
Why not?
Because I can't saythat I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and suddenly wanna do somethingthat I swore my entire life I would never do. "
Maybe" isa very big step for me.
Yeah,well,it isn'tbig enough for me.
Well,I'm sorry,but you'rejust gonna have to accept it.
There's nothing else you can do.
That isn'tnecessarily true.
Excuse me?
Annulments You are threatening mewith an annulment?
That conniving little bitchput you up to this,didn't she?
Didn't she?
This fight could beover right now if you'd justmake me a promise.
The only promiseI am making you is that this isso not over.
hi!
Hey.
Hi.
How's the search coming forthe new ad exec?
Any luck?
Oh,the pickings are slim.
So far none ofmy top choices are available.
Hey,um,do you have someonefrom your old company that you could,you know,maybe recommend?
Daddy!Well-- I can't find my toothbrush.
I'll be upin a second,buddy.
Hi.
As a matter of fact, there's this one guy who would be perfect.
Yeah?
Yeah,hard-working,smart as a whip.
Total package.
Really?
What's his name?
Tom.
Tom?
Tom what?
Tom scavo.
no!
No!
I do not think thatthat is a good idea.
Come on,honey,I mean,the other nightdoing those pitches-- it just gotthe old juices flowing.
I remembered how muchI miss having a real job.
You have a real job,right herestaying home with the kids.
With two incomes,we couldafford a top-notch nanny.
What about penny?
You're the one who fought foroffice day care.
Let's use it.
What about the two of us workingand living together?
I think that could bea recipe for disaster.
Why?
The last timethat we worked together...
we fell in love.
Oh,it's just...
I'M...
I'm not sure that you would findthis job that satisfying.
You don't thinkI'm good enough,do you?
I'm not saying that.
Daddy,I stillcan't find my toothbrush!
I'll go.
I got it.
Come on,buddy.Let's hunt it down.
So who won the fight?
We weren't fighting.
Mommy's just lettingdaddy know where he stands.
Oh,hey!
Hey!
thanks for coming in,mr.
Gainey.
We'll be in touch.
Thank you.
Bye.
What did you think?
Well,honestly,I wasn't blown away.
I know the pickingsare slim, but we can't hold outmuch longer.
We need to hiresomeone this week.
I know!
I know!
I know.
So who's up next?
Tom cavos.You ever heard of him?
Just...
uh...
could you excuse mefor just a minute?
Sure.
Tom cavos?
Yeah,it's an anagram.
It's deceptively simple,don't you think?
What do you think you're doing?
I'm going overyour head.
I mean,you mightnot think I'm good enough, but maybe ed will bea little more open-minded, since,you know,he's notconstantly competing with me.
You want the truth,tom?
I think you're good.You have moments of brilliance.
But I also thinksometimes you coast.
And I thinkif i were your boss and had to ride your assevery day, you would come homeseething with resentment.
Come on!
It's hard enoughkeeping a marriage together.
If you're at all concernedabout saving our marriage, you better let metake my shot.
What does that mean?
It means that a little partof me has been hating you ever since you tankedmy promotion at petersen.
Tom...
but I could let it all go ifyou'll give me this one thing.
Excuse me.Ed's waiting for you guys.
Great!
Great!
Just let my r�sum�speak for itself.
Uh,just let your r�sum�speak for itself?
Yes.
okay!
Oh!
You workedthe poncer cheese accounts?
Those "angry mouse" spots?They were hilarious!
I was on thatfrom the beginning.
warning,do not eat the cheese!
The cheese is evil!
I love that!
You've got a great r�sum?Thank you.
Yeah,gosh,it is.It's quite impressive.
Oh,wow,I see you workedfor bellfore and barrasso.
That's a great shop.
Yeah,I put my time in.
Uh-huh,and when were you there?
Because you forgot to list your dates of employmentfor that one.
Um,that wasa few years back.
Uh-huh.
And how longdid you stay?
Just about five months,actually.
What,did you getrecruited by another firm?
Did somebodycherry-pick ya?
No,I was fired.
Yeah,but honestly,I was happy to leave because they didn't getmy sense of humor.
I actually pitched a version of the "cheese is evil"there first.
They hated it.
Idiots!Well,their loss,right?
Yep.And I see you won a clio for the thompson's salad dressing spot.
That was very cool.
So did you do that solo?
Actually,no.
My wifehelped me on that one.
Um,she's inadvertising,too.
But if you were to ask her, I'm sure she'd tell you she did the whole thing all by herself.
credit hog,huh?I know the type.
You know what,tom?I like you.
Ed...
and I'm not usually onefor hiring in the room.
No,no,no,no,we never hire in the room.
But we're in a time crunch,and we need someone now.
I think you're the guy.
Lynette,you got any issues?
Well...
um,let me just call ina few references before we makeanything official.
Sure!
Sure!We'll be in touch,okay?
the cheese is evil!
Oh,god,I love that.
Oh,um,I'm lookingfor father crowley.
Do you know where he is?
Um,he's inthe confessional.
How long has it beensince your last confession?
Who cares?
Father,it's me.
Gabrielle?
Yeah.
Look,I need youto do something for me.
I need you to get rid ofsister mary bernard.
What?
Why?
Because she's ruiningmy marriage.
Sister mary?
Yes!
At first it startedwith the love letters while he was in prison, and the next thing I know, they're spendingday and night together-- sneaking offto private bible study, and one-on-onespiritual consultation.
Gabrielle-- and if that wasn't enough,he issaying her name in his sleep. "
hold me,sister mary,hold me."
it's disgusting.He's like a lovesick puppy.
do you have reasonto believe that your husbandand sister mary are...
having sex?
Speak from the heart,gabrielle.
This is just betweenme,you and god.
Yeah...
yep.They're having sex.
Carlos confessedeverything...
right beforehe asked for an annulment.
forgive me,father,for I have sinned.
How long sinceyour last confession?
Mm,not that long ago.
Look,I sorta told a fib,so...
how many "hail marys"is that gonna set me back?
oh,honey.
Go away!
Oh,honey,what happenedwasn't my fault.
There's no way I could'vepredicted how betty would react.
Oh,please,you knewsomething bad would happen.
You wanted all thisto blow up in my face.
Oh,honey,why would I want that?
Because you're jealous thatmy life's just getting started and yours is over.
Danielle,that's ridiculous,sweetheart.
Daddy's dead.
You drove your boyfriendto suicide.
You're getting olderby the minute, and soon you'll beso dried up and bitter that no man will ever wantto touch you ever again.
Danielle...
and now you're determinedto ruin my life so I have to stay with you hereand keep you company while you turninto an old fossil.
All I ever wanted wasfor you to be happy.
Don't just want it.Make it happen.
danielle,I don't feel muchlike cooking tonight.
I'm thinkingof ordering a pizza.
I want canadian bacon.
Please.
All right.
He's mad at you'cause you hit him.
Well,I feel bad about that.
But when I considerthe risks he was taking...
it's a shamehe can't see that girl.
She's so pretty.
What did you sayabout danielle?
I said that she...
you know I don't want youthinking about things like that.
I'm sorry.I didn'T.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Go on and run upto your room.
Read the comics I got you.
And,caleb?
If I ever catch you lookingat that van de kamp girl, I'll hit you twice as hardas I hit your brother, and I won't feel bad about it.
Okay?
Okay.
So this wholesplenectomy thing-- you feelgood about it,huh?
Yeah,yeah,I told you.It's a routine surgery.
You're gonna be fine.
Right,right.
Actually,I sort of meant,um...
do you personallyfeel confident?
What do you mean?
Well,you know,you're gonna be...
hacking into me, and I just wanted to make surethat you feel ready.
I've never taken outa spleen before.
But believe me,it's no big deal.
Spleen,gallbladder--it's all the same.
Okay,red flag!
See,I didn'tgo to medical school, but I'm thinking--not all the same.
Susan,I know what I'm doing.You're gonna have to trust me.
I would like to.But I gotta be honest-- the fact that you can't evencut that steak isn't helping.
That's not fair.You overcooked it, and,frankly,it's not the freshest meat.
Well,neither am I.I've got 35 years on that cow.
Wait,susan,are you saying you don't want meto be your surgeon?
I'm sorry.
I don't mean this to soundthe wrong way.
I just...
I would be more comfortablewith an experienced surgeon.
That's okay.
I understand.
Thank you.
I should really be going.
What?
I didn't evenserve dessert yet.
You said you understood!
No,I do,I do.I respect your decision to see another doctor, but you know what?
You need to respectthat my feelings are hurt.
What?
You want me to putmy life on the line to service your ego?
I save lives every day.I cut.
I save.
I cut.
I save.
That's what I do,and if that gives me an out-of-control ego, well,maybe I need that to cut intoanother human being.
jim...
hey.Hey.
Dinner's ready.
So did you call around?Check on my references?
I told edyou were my husband, and he was cool with that.
He really wants to hire you.
So who am ito stand in the way?
Really?
So I got the job?
On one condition.
If you take this job, you are never allowedto bring up what happened beforewith your promotion.
That's it?
Deal.
No,it's not a deal.I need a solemn vow that you will never throwthat in my face ever again.
Because if you do,you will unleash demons that you do not wanna meet.
I get it.
And what i really need from you...
is to be forgiven.
Actually,I already haD.
This dinner is really good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hi,betty.
Hello.
I wanted to talk to youabout what happened the other day with the kids.
I told you,we will be moving soon.
There's nothingto worry about.
Well,my fear is thatif we keep them apart, they'll try that much harderto be together.
I mean,you knowhow teenagers can be,and, well,a lot can happenin a couple of weeks.
I'll make a deal with you.
If you control yours,I will control mine.
Well,how about someold-fashioned chaperoning?
That way they can,um,still see each other, and we won't have tobe the villains.
When it comesto my son's best interests, I'm not afraid of beingthe villain.
I assumed that you wouldfeel the same way,bree.
Now that you mention it,I guess I do.
I have to go.
I have some,um,muffins in the oven.
Mom,what's wrong?
It's the applewhites.
I don't want you to go near them.
What?!
Do you remember the manthey arrested-- the one that brokeinto gabrielle's and escapedfrom the mental hospital?
He's there.
I saw him in their window.They're hiding him.
You're kidding.No,I'm not.
And I forbid youto go over there.
Lynette,hi,it's bree.Uh,listen, call me when youget this message, and please cometo poker tonight.
I have some big newsabout the applewhites.
All right,bye.
Who was that?
Sister mary.
They just transferred her toa parish in fairbanks,alaska.
You're kidding me.
Why?
She doesn't know.
The diocese wouldn't evengive her a reason.
Ah,vatican politics.
What's wrong?
I think I'm just coming downwith a migraine.
Oh,well,maybe youshould go lie down.
I'm gonna be outfor a while.
All right.
Uh,I'll see you there.
Susan?What are you doing here?
We need to talk.
Okay,all right,but,look,I just got out of surgery.
I've been waitingfor three hours.
After you stormed outthe other night, I started to doubt myself.
I started to think, "gee,you know,maybe I shouldjust ignore my better instincts, and I should let dr.
Ron gut me like a fish."
Susan-- I mean,why not?
'Cause all my life, I have jumped through hoopsto keep men from leaving.
But I'm not doing it anymore.So tough luck,pally.
You just missed outon a good thing.
Susan...
you've been herefor three hours?
Yeah.Well,two hours ago, flowers,champagneand an apology note were deliveredto your doorstep.
Really?
Look,I put our relationshipat risk,all right?
And it was stupid.
I haven't felt this wayabout somebody in a long time.
Susan,I really like you.
And because of that,I...
I can't be your doctor,let alone,your surgeon.
I mean,there's a pretty good reason why they make those rules.
Listen,I hopeyou forgive me,all right?
Because I'll hate myselfif I lose you.
I wouldn't want youto hate yourself.
No.
And I am so sorryabout that...
snap thing.
I was just tryingto be theatrical.
I got your note.What's going on?
Are you hidingsomeone in your house?
What?
My mom saw someone inyour second-story window.
She thinks it's the guywho broke into mrs.
Solis'.
Damn it,caleb.
Is that his name?
Has she told anybody else?
She left messageson her friends' machines.
They're coming oversoon to get details.
We're gonna have to leave tonight.
This is-- why?
What's going on?
I would loveto tell you,believe me,I would.
But I can'T.
If you trust me,I could help you.
My familyhas secrets,too.
What my brother did-- it's bad.
Last year my brotherdid something really awful, and my parentscovered it up for him.
If anyone were toever find out, andrew and my momcould go to jail.
So you don't have to worryabout me judging you.
Tell me your secrets.I'll understand.
Okay.
But you tell meyours first.
What are you doing here?
I heard you werebeing transferred so I cameto say good-bye.
Come to gloatis more like it.
No,we've hadour differences, but that doesn't meanI'm happy to see you shipped off to alaska.
Brr.
You had something to dowith this,didn't you?
Me?
Oh,I'm justa humble sinner.
You're the one withall the power around here-- all the...
annulment mojo.
Is that why you did it?
Well,getting rid of meisn't gonna change anything.
Carlos will do what he wants.
The problems in your marriagearen't going away.
Maybe not...
but you certainly are.
You missed a spot.
That was a mistake.
There.I think we're all done here.
Oh,my god!Oh,my god!
Hold on!
Are you okay?
Stop fighting!
Stop fighting!
No!
What the hellwere you thinking?
Uh,depends.What have you heard?
I got a callfrom the church.
They said you attackedsister mary.
Yeah,that's about right.
What are you thinking?
I wasn't,but I was thinkingabout it on the way over here.
And I realized the assI should be kicking is yours.
Mine?
Yes!
Sister mary manipulated youinto threatening me, but you're the idiotthat fell for it.
I was notthreatening you.
I was asking for a promise.
You made me a promise,carlos, a long time ago--till death do us part.
And one day you just come homeand start throwing words around like annulment.
How do you thinkthat makes me feel?
Okay,I'm sorryabout that.
I need to have a child.
And I need to knowI'm the woman you want to spendthe rest of your life with, not just some uterusin high heels.
Gabrielle,please-- no,carlos,I am sorry.
I am not gonna be blackmailedinto giving birth.
You have to choose.
And I wish you would do itso I can move on with my life.
Well,of course I choose you.
I think that'sthe right decision.
You know,I made a decision,too.
The answer to your questionearlier is yes.
Yes...
I wanna have a baby.
I wanna havea baby with you.
betty.
What a surprise.
Can I talk to youfor a moment?
Uh,now is actuallynot a good time for me.
I think it is.
I wanted to chat with you before you didsomething foolish.
I don't knowwhat you mean.
The person you sawat my house today is my other son.
His name is caleb.
He didn't harm gabrielle, and he didn't hurtthe man in the car trunk.
That's all you need to know.
He's your son?
He's my dear sonwho happens to be slow.
Sometimes he makes mistakes.
But,betty,the policeare looking for him.
He escaped from that facilitythey sent him to.
He had help,trust me.
I've always thoughtthe maternal instinct is one ofnature's most amazing gifts.
I mean,the length thatsome mothers will go to to protect their children-- it drives ordinary womento do extraordinary things, women like me,bree,and like you.
What are you talking about?
If you breathe one wordof caleb's existence to anyone, I will tell carlos,gabrielle and the police that it was your sondriving the car that killed juanita solis and that you have been coveringup his crime ever since.
We're going to begreat friends,bree.
We have so much in common.
So is that all she said?
Yeah,something aboutthe applewhites.
I'm dying of curiosity.
it's rude to keeppeople waiting.
Hi.
Come on in.
So,spill it.
What's the scoopon the applewhites?
Um,about that...
um...
oh,bree,come on,dish already!
Well,perhaps I gotmore excited than I should have, but I recently found outthat betty applewhite is quite the poker player, and so,uh,I have invited herto join our weekly game.
Hello,everybody.
I hope you broughtyour checkbooks because I am feeling lucky.
Everyone understands the nature of war.
I raise.
We also understand that victory depends on the cards that we have been dealt.
Some,when faced with a bloody battle, simply give in.
But for some,surrender is unacceptable.
Well,bree,what are you gonna do?
Even though they know it will be a fight...
I'll raise you.
...To the death.