Émission TV: Scrubs - 6x10

My license has been suspended for a month for drunkenly pushing my scooter home.
So Old Sasha had become a perch for local bird gang.
Luckily, I've found another way to get around.
What's up?!
Thanks for the ride, Lloyd.
This DUI is such a hassle.
Been there, bro.
Been there.
Alcohol?
Crack.
Hey, by any chance, do you like speed metal?
I did not.
I am the one, I am the one...
that you need!
I am the one...I am the one...to shine!
Here sweetheart!
Oh babe!
I didn't want it with cream.
Oh, let me fix for you, baby.
And this isn't soy.
Sucks to be you.
I'll go get your coffee.
Kid, how lucky you are to have a husband.
I mean, I've got a brand new home, I'm totally ready to start my life, but I've saw no Keith as marriage material.
My mum thinks I should test his love by saying I'm knocked up.
If he doesn't propose on the spot, I'll just demand that he gives me 600$ for the abortion, dump him, and ease my sadness for the breading of each one he choose That's how she got her actual collection in college.
Elliott, you can't test love.
When I met Turk, it seemed he was more in love with his best friend than with me.
Honey, they've got that homemade Pascade JD loves, so I was wondering if I can borrow some money so I can get him some.
No, you got him a present yesterday.
The point is, you can't force it, ok?
Yeah.
Take it, babe.
I think we should move in together.
Awesome!
Turk, where's my coffee?
Turk!
TURK!
Hey, thanks the Pascade, Obi-Brown.
No problem, Luke.
And thanks for answering my page, I really wanted to rent this place, but once I told the landlord about my DUI, and that I sometimes pass out when I poo, he said I need someone to cosign the list, what's with that?
Oh, have no idea.
Awesome ceiling fan.
What happened?
Are you ok?
It was a totally unavoidable accident.
Check out the hand skills.
That-is-awesome!
Yeah, you wanna see awesome?
Turn it up!
Ooooh!!
Ahahahahahah!
Turn it off.
Turn it off!
This thing came off!
This thing came off!
He was a beautiful black blur.
There is not a doctor in the world that would disagree with Brian Dancer when he said: Headwound suck, I mean, I feel better but I still can't concentrate, my motor skills are shut, how I can't even write?
Hi, Brian.
Oh, my God.
It's an angel.
That nasty birdless dancer who has Sip has forgot those damn ostrich feathers.
We're little busy in here, Laverne.
That was a weird one.
Hi, I'm Ann Chase.
I'm Brian's physical therapist.
Konichiwa.
I'd love to put my ear on her butt, to see if I can hear the ocean.
Oh, Brian, you're doing that thing when you say your thoughts out loud, it's a side effect of his injury.
Oh.
It wasn't, but we've been having fun since we came up with that.
All right Brian, what do you think we should start as a go?
I wanna be able to write my name by the end of the month.
Yep!
The next month was gonna be really difficult, for a lot of us.
See, this way I will know if Keith and I have a future, in a month.
So, anyway, I can't do surgery for a month.
Hey, Dr.
Kelso, I was wondering, how does one apply for paid disability leaf?
Nice try, Turkleton, but the medical staff is short-handed, brought to Gloria on bed rest.
Gloria's having twins, my lady's having my babies.
Damn right, I'm gonna have your baby so hard, baby.
So you're saying that I'll be a medical attending fora month?
Attending?
You don't have the training for that, you're gonna be a resident again.
Good morning, "reasons why I drink", you may have noticed that we have a new face in our group.
Oh, these glasses are not prescription, but, uh, I figured I wear'em, so I can feel in with you medical geeks.
Know what I'm saying?
Cool, a new black resident!
Oh, it's just Turk.
Hey Turk!
Good morning, JD.
Hey hey hey!
What is up with that giant novelty pen?
It's an occupational therapy pen.
Brian can't hold small objects.
I had an ex-girlfriend with the same problem.
Kidding, no she didn't.
That's...
that's awkward.
Son of a bitch.
That's hot!
Brian, such foul language should never be uttered in front of a lady with such...
delicate...
...soft ears.
I have another appointment.
Right.
Man, why don't you just ask her out?
Brian, expertly flirting is one thing, but I-I'm not ready to get back in the game yet, I risk to have a serious relationship.
Plus, I'm a tent dwelling, poop fainter who can't drive.
I have a fiberglass skull.
So what's the competition with you?
Aah!
Oh!
Aah!
Oh...Ooh!
Aah!
Ouch!
Oh my God, that was amazing.
I know.
Were you thinking about me?
Totally.
Were you thinking about me?
I always think about you when I'm in the box, you know that.
Babe.
Hmm, sweetie, this is actually my grandmother's coffee table soup.
just use a coaster from now on.
Oh, the coaster argument.
You would not believe the stuff I had to put up when Turk and I first moved in together.
Do you know what I caught him doin' in bed, even though I was sleeping right next to him?
Have one?
Look, the point is...it's an adjustment.
Get ready for some arguing.
Not us.
He does even mind sleeping in separate rooms.
Upliving with a guy before marriage makes me feel whory.
You're goin' to live in separate States.
But if you do on the nasty before you get married, your ass is gonna burn.
Ok, kids.
Time to put a spotlight on Mr.
Cuckoo-pants.
Name a test, any test, that you would run for...
...Lupus!
Lupus...does she live on the second floor?
Mmmh.
* Does she live upstairs from you?
* * I think you have seen here before...
* Still waiting...
Antinuclear antibody test.
Anti-something something test.
It really is just super that you're here with us as a reminder that surgeons really are simply ignorant scalpel jocks.
Hell, after surgery...if there's the slightest medical issue you just turf the patient right down to us, the real doctors, so we can pick up your slack.
You cut...and run, if you will.
That's right, it's not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bow ties.
It is also the number one reason that all of you should pray to God, or, in your case Rex, Mocho the Samoan Bird King, that you never have to be treated by these flesh hungry butchers.
Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy.
I don't understand why you're so devoted to that guy.
He's got this strange power...
Eventually you'll crave his approval and become just like me.
Pfff.
But still, as I thought about Dr.
Cox, I knew JD was right.
See?
Hey!
Looks like I caught you with my renewed facial hair, huh?
Ooh, God!
Thank you.
I just found out that my great-great-great-grandfather was mutton chop enthusiast Ambrose Burnsides.
I'm bringing back that look to honor his memory.
It looks like tiny hamsters died all over your face.
That happened once, but no.
This is just how I grow facial hair.
It start out patchy, then it gloriously erupts.
You'll see.
When this fills in, this look's gonna spread like wildfire.
Read'em and weep.
What are you doing in here?
Hiding from Ann, man.
Phisical therapy is too hard, I'm getting nowhere.
I know you're scared, but you've got to stick with it.
That means a lot, coming from someone who's scared to ask girls on a date.
You know what?
I'll make a deal: you stick with your phisical therapy and I will ask Ann out.
Deal?
Yeah.
I wonder what the odds are of Ann saying "yes".
It's never gonna happen to you, champ.
Kelso just had his car washed!
I'm on it!
What did I eat last night?!
Oh.
Everithing's unpacked.
Your stuff looks great, by the way.
You mean her stuff.
She wouldn't let me put up my stuff.
Pop op op op op op.
Everithing's awesome, our grade up works great.
What do you mean, we're great?
We're not having box sex in days.
Everithing was fine, until Elliot broke with her unending list of insane rules like: Put all open cereal in giant ziplock bags.
I don't see what's insane about not wanting spiders lay eggs in my cornflakes, that's how Carla's mom died.
No, it wasn't.
You were supposed to be my best friend!
Elliot!
You've got to cut each other a little bit of slack.
You know, Keith, Carla's right.
I mean, if you're gonna try--Oh, my God!
How hard is it for you to use the fucking coaster in fucking fucking fuck!
Wha-c-c-calm down!
All right?!
So-so I forget once in a while!
Once in a while!
There!
As I went to ask Ann out and felt like tough noob headin' inside, get right before a poo faint...
...all better...
I thought about the deals we sometimes make.
Hello....ok.
You know, Dr.
Cox, I wouldn't mind all the crap you've been giving me if I was actually doing anything.
You haven't asked me for help once.
Sometimes deals stink.
Because you can't.
Make a deal here, Gandhi.
I will stop mocking you if you just shut up...stead of our way.
And sometimes a deal can ruin everything.
Here's the deal, Keith: my house, my rules.
What?
I-I-I thought this was "our" place.
No, Keith, this is my place.
You've just rented a room.
Still, my deal with Brian was to ask Ann out.
And he was watching, so I only had one option: ask her a random question I knew she'd say yes to.
Was Papa Smurf the leader?
Yes.
She said yes.
We're goin' out Friday.
I FELT BAD ABOUT MY LIE TO BRIAN!
STILL I...
I felt bad about my lie to Brian.
Still, I knew I had to keep it going.
Later, babe.
Check out the back scratches.
Wow!
Good for stale, i take it.
Ok, go.
Aaaaaagh!
Uuuh!
Let's just say: kiddie like to scratchiee Huh, yeah she does.
Hey, but don't, uhm, don't tell her that you know about us, ok?
Trying to keep it on the deal, that's our rule.
All right, sure.
You know, Dr.
Cox, there's gotta be some I can do to help.
Well, now, Gandhi, since you don't grasp the fact that I think you're incompetent, Ladies and gentlemen, pay attention please: presenting the world's longest "Shoosh".
Mmh...Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I'm goin' echo and...stop.
I'm not committing the way I normally do.
When you go away, and regroup, maybe see you later.
I knew what I did, that somehow, i'd made Dr.
Cox-- Seriously, dude, stop doing that.
That's my thing.
So since I told Keith he only rents a room he refuses to come out if it.
Doesn't matter.
He'll crack.
Probably not until his party, next week.
A party in his room?
Well, I'm up to my family vacation in Bermuda.
Every God awful year in its wheelchair, rusting the salt water, harassing spends my money getting his hair branded by trannies.
when I fall asleep in the sun.
Don't page me.
Damn ranny, he's got me in my sleep!
That is wrong!
What are you up to, baby?
Using all my down time to study medicine, so I can prove to Dr.
Cox I am not just another dumb surgeon, but everytime I crack open his books my brain says: "Who cares about this crap?"
Then I wonder if we have any frozen sugarfree fruitjuice pops at home.
I'm gonna help you study tonight, and...
for every right answer that you get...
I'll give you a bite of frozen fruit juice pop, or...
if you prefer...
I can remove an item of clothing.
Ok.
A major indicator of hypokalemia is...
A potassium level under 3.5.
Right!
And here comes your reward.
Yeah, come to daddy!
Say baby, what happened to your shirt?
Oh, Izzy spit up on me earlier.
How come you didn't put a new one on?
To mutton-chops!
Yeah!
Actually, these are fake.
You all look ridiculous.
But I did this to make a point, ok?
You have to think for yourself.
Don't be a sheep, follow the foul.
All right?
You repeat after me: "I think for myself!"
"I think for myself!"
"You can't tell me what to say!"
"You can't tell me what to say!"
"I want to say this!"
"I want to say this!"
"Brrrlllppp!"
"Brrrlllppp!"
"Unbelievable!"
"Unbelievable!"
Ehm, ehm...
hello!
It's a little noisy, Keith.
Everyone, my landlord wants us to keep quiet.
Boohhhh!
Carla?
Give me a break!
I haven't partied since the baby was born.
I told Brian I was taking Ann to the Poocanoos, now he wants pictures.
You have to help me morph the photos I secretly took her off with my camera phone.
On that the picture she seem to fall fool here to get away.
Dude, why don't you just ask Ann out?
That way you don't have to lie to Brian.
Oh, I don't know...
It's the right thing to do, just like me studying my asshole.
Now, if you'll excuse me, let me drop some knowledge on Dr.
Keez-ox.
Good luck.
Excuse me, coming through!
So, this patient has fever of 103...
rhino failure and platelets of 25,000.
What is the diagnosis in management?
Bam!
Put them down!
It's obvious the patient's septic.
I'd treat him with an activated protein C.
Boo-ya kasha!
Dr.
Turk, that is just an excellent diagnosis.
Heee!
However, with his low platelet count, treatment with activated protein C, would cause what, class?
Brain hemorrage!
And what would that cause?
His death!
Sorry, I got so excited, I was yelling things out.
He wrong.
I told you this would happen.
I can't take you seriously until you take off The Janitor's mutton-chops.
Why is that when it comes to relationships people can't take advice from someone that's already been through it?
We're different than you and Turk.
You aren't!
We're not gonna go through the same things you did.
You are!
Our love is special.
It isn't!
How can you say that?
Because she doesn't care a bit.
Oh...baby!
Ough!
I need some new people in my life.
ok, it's now or never.
Excuse me, Anne?
Hey, uhm, my life really hasn't been in the best place lately.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I have impregnated on the first date.
Don't worry!
She miscarried.
And I haven't even begun...
to think about asking anyone else out, mostly because I'm concerned that the stress of love-making will put on my body, might cause me to pass out much like I do when I defecate.
I also leave in a tent and just got a DUI.
I know that as physical therapist you can appreciate someone who's trying to get their life back on track, would you please let me take you to dinner?
Ensure you that I'm really just a nice guy who's fallen on some hard times.
No.
Just...
just no?
Do you...
Do you wanna elaborate on the "no"?
No.
So, I lied.
And when I finally did ask Anne out...
she said no.
Well, did she elaborate?
She did not.
The thing about failure is how supportive the people close to you can be.
Hey, man, it's not a big deal.
At least you got back in the game, right?
So, Dr.
Cox...
the cast comes out tomorrow, any last med shot you wanna take on me?
You have diabetes and you can't eat cupcakes.
Wow!
Look, you may never have the same grasp on medicine as we real doctors do, but you're miles ahead of your fellow numb-nut surgeons.
We're ok for now but...
I still don't have Keith as marriage material.
You guys made through a month and you still wanna live together.
A lot of couples never make it that far.
Yeah but...
I don't feel like I accomplished anything.
Ladies and gentlemen, Brian would like to sign his name on the insurance papers.
Here you go.
Not bad, huh?
It's great.
Brian made us feel how huge our smallest accomplishments really are.
Wheter it's having a little more knowledge than your collegues.
Todd, your appendectomy patient may be hypertensive.
But the medical Wee-bees deal with it.
We need roast five.
Don't be such a surgeon.
Let's go and check her out.
Or easing up on the rules for the sake of your relationship.
Or finally, being ready to get back in the game.
Hey, Katie.
Wanna grab a drink?
Yeah, but not with you.
I'm back.
Well then, you're back on the road, huh?
Well, sort of.
I've got this nifty breathalyzer on my scooter.
If there's any trace of alchool in my breath, it won't start for 24 hours.
Yeah, that's where you blow.
Huh!
Well, time to start my shift.