Émission TV: Will & Grace - 5x12
Hey, okey, listen to this one Hey, guys, just wanted to remind you about brunch at our place in Brooklyn today Can't wait Love you She actually thinks we're going to Brooklyn?
I'm not leaving the state for brunch!
That's so stupid Okay, it gets better Guys, where are you?
I've got salmon I've got caviar I've got fruit Get over here Love you!
She could be serving it on top of a Calvin Klein underwear model I still ain't going to Brooklyn How sad is that?
It can't get any sadder Can't it?
Nice, real nice You better be coming You guys suck!
I hate you!
Love you Hey Have you guys gotten any of those messages from Grace?
They're hilarious!
Blah blah blah...
Love you!
Oh...
So, Wilma, honey, listen I forget, what are you these days gay or straight?
Wait, wait, wait Let me do a little test Okay, there's a penis and a vagina in a tent And it's on fire Which do you save?
Why are they in a tent?
Honey, I'm trying to do you a favor!
I wanna set you up with my cousin, Barry / Ugh What?!
Why him?!
Why not me?
Will's hideous!
No, you're not He's gross!
Not really People flee from him!
Not everyone Poodle, Will needs it more than you do He's desperate!
Hey, I resent that Cute and desperate Thank you Now, listen to me Barry is a great guy Honey, he's smart.
He's handsome Oh, he makes the greatest German dill potato salad for family picnics "Dill"?
That's his best quality?
He uses dill?
All right, I'll go out with him Now, listen, you're meeting him tonight at eight at the Sherry Bar And wear something tight You got good stuff in there Guys!
What are you doing?
I've been sitting in my apartment all day I though you were coming to visit me!
We were just leaving We--we're on our way We're there Where are you?
Hello?
Thanks a lot You know, Brooklyn is where I live now And I would think that my friends could take two minutes out of their lives to come visit me Who needs ya?
I'm going home It's so far �� & �׷��̽� 5���� ���Ǽҵ� 13 (Fagmalion Part One ; Gay It Forward) ���� : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com) ���� ����: �迵ȯ(withmysoul@lycos.co.kr) ��ũ : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com) �����׽�Ʈ : �̼���(memarun@nate.com) �ڸ� ���� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ��� (http://club.nate.com/24) Will & Grace �ڸ��� Yes!
Leo, all my stuff is unpacked and the boxes are gone I know--finally Yes, that's a lie But, I promise you I will only lie about the insignificant things Yes, that's another lie I'll see you later tonight, okay?
I'll have a nice dinner waiting Yes, that is too Who is it?
Your neighbor I brought you a housewarming gift It's a cat Her name's Pees-On-My-Bed but feel free to change it to Pees-On-Your-Bed Thanks, but, um, I'm allergic Oh, well that's ok She's a rescue she didn't expect much out of life I'll just go drown her in the tub with the others What?
No!
Kidding I'm just trying to guilt you Go home, baby God!
You have huge feet too I like that Yeah I waited my whole life to develop and those are the only things that grew I'm Julie Grace Adler Adler I know The old ladies upstairs told me By the way, that's where all your magazines are Interesting Well, the next time Mrs.
Rabinowitz fights me for a cab, boom She's going right down Oh.
You're dark Leo needs that You know, we have a nickname for him in the building "Wish I were doing him instead of my husband."
You have no boundaries I like that So, do you need a hand unpacking?
I'm happy to help...
unless you have a bunch of personal weird stuff you don't want me to see/ No Just don't open the one marked "Tools" Hi, sorry I'm late Traffic was a biatch Okay Clearly Karen meant to fix this guy up with me So here's how I see it Barry and I have dinner You cry quietly at a nearby table until I signal you to pay the check I go home with him You cook us brunch tomorrow Eggs, please Interesting Here's how I see it I grab you by the ear Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
I drag you to the door Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
And I push you in front of a car/ Ow!
Wait!
You don't understand Barry is my soul mate You haven't even met him I love him!
You're crazy Crazy in love!
Hey Hey You got the time?
Um, I'm supposed to meet my date here at eight Oh, it's ten after You know women they love to make an entrance Apparently so does Will Oh Uh, I'm Will Oh, nice to meet you Nice to meet you Nice to meet you, too You know, I don't go on a lot of dates but at some point aren't we supposed to be at the same table?
Not always I'm Will Barry Cousin Karen didn't do you justice You're hot She didn't do you justice either You're--you're here So, shall we order?
Let's order Kind of a late lunch so I-- and you're holding my hand It's just, uh-- Dating...
it's, uh, a little new for me Were you in a long term relationship?
Six years It was pretty serious/ Oh What was his name?
Mary Elizabeth Was that his drag name?
'Cause I think I may have seen his show No, it's a woman I've never been out with a guy before You're my first!
Huh Can I get anyone a drink?
Oh, yeah What do we homosexuals drink, Will?
Well, legally we can drink whatever we want That was established in the Flaming Schnapps Act of 1983 Oh, man, this is going great High five!
Hey, thanks for helping me unpack Wedding pictures Oh, no no no You don't want to look at that It's fifth in a series You need to start with volume one Grace, God This dress is gorgeous Everything's so nice When we got married in my sister's backyard there was dog poop everywhere and she wore shorts My sister was so high at my wedding she thought it was my bat mitzvah She kept shoving 20's down my dress So we have a lot in common Our sisters are bitches Both our husbands are doctors Well, mine's playing one in some Chekhov play in the Bowery (üȣ�� : ���þ� ���۰�) He makes $80 a week And apparently he's not very good Wow Your husband's an actor You're a massage therapist That is so cool and bohemian My husband's a doctor How come we live in the same building?
The apartment belonged to my uncle He died last year I'm sorry Keep it to yourself We haven't told the super Oh Your back?
Yeah, I pulled it at the gym Well, on the phone talking about going to the gym Well, let me give you a massage I'll grab my table No.
No, no, no You've done too much for me already Oh, please I'm just so happy to talk to a neighbor about something other than the Holocaust Damn, Grace, you're so tense You're all knots and bones It's like massaging a frozen turkey Oh...
That feels so good Is the pressure okay?
Mm-hmm.
Perfect...
How about here?
Mm-hmm I'm just gonna go a little lower You go wherever you need to go Well...
Thank you, Karen I had my date with Barry last night Whoo!
Tell me everything Except skip the begging and the tears That I can't stomach Let's start with his stomach It's soft like a baby's And like a baby, he just came out!
Yeah, well, you're no prize pig yourself You got a layer of pink flab a pug nose, a squiggly little tail-- Hey, wait, maybe you are a prize pig!
Why are you in my life you awful, awful woman?!
The point is, you are desperate and he's family So why don't you two join together in misery and make a rotten go of it, huh?
Honey, you must like him You sent him flowers and asked him to go out with you again tonight I didn't send him any-- Oh, God!
Oh, honey, it made his day And so did that picture of you sound asleep making a human pyramid in your Joe Boxers What?!
Oh my God I thought that was a dream Rosario in camouflage with a feather and a zoom lens Great Now I've gotta let him down easy Hey, hey, save it for the locker room Unbelievable!
Unbelievable!
I've got my own problems!
I've got my own problems!
Karen, be honest All right, I pinched Paul Lynde's wallet at the Desert Inn in '84 Well, that would explain why on your job application under references you wrote "Not Paul Lynde."
Look, help me with this I just met my new neighbor, Julie She's a massage therapist She was helping me unpack and then she gave me a massage which I think went a little too far...
south Well, honey, you must've brought it on yourself What were you wearing?
I was naked, under a sheet Hmm, that's not it Oh, my God I got it.
I got it Karen, make an appointment with her If she does the same thing to you then I know it's just part of the massage But if she doesn't do it to you-- Then I'll do it to her No Then I will know that she was coming on to me Ah Honey, exactly where did she touch you?
Show me on this bottle of vodka Right on the Smirnoff Oh, I don't believe this Please, just hear me out I have waited my whole life to find love And then when it finally happens...
I am denied And by who-em?
My best friend Please, Will let me love Hey, Barry I'll see you later Hi I'm sorry I'm late I didn't know what to wear for our second homosexual date Oh, traditionally, whatever's hanging on your homosexual chair in your homosexual bedroom Here, I, uh got you a present It was 49.99 Oh, look at that It's a...
rainbow flag beach towel Do you already have one?
You probably already have one No, I don't And it'll come in handy, when I want people from space to know that I'm gay I just thought I should get you something since you sent me those beautiful flowers Look...
I gotta tell you something I didn't...
I didn't send you those flowers Karen, in her twisted way thought she was trying to help Oh I thought it was a little weird when the card said "Thanks for all the good gay sex, honey."
Look, Barry, you're a great guy But I.../ U-u-u-uh, i-it's okay I'm sorry I'm not better at this I was bad at being straight now I'm bad at being gay It gets easier I guess It's just--I really like you You don't even know me I know you enough You're nice You're really smart You're handsome I know....
I'm sorry, Barry, I just-- I don't feel the same way about you Oh/ But I know someone out there will You're gonna do great Look, let's-- let's order You know, it says "no sharing," but I say let's share And dare them to oppose us What do you say?
You know what I think I'd rather go home But thanks I'll see you, Will Keep the towel So, what happened?
Did she knock, knock knock on heaven's door?
What a waste!
I choppered that girl in from Brooklyn and all I got was a lousy massage!
I get more play outta Rosie when she's washing my bra with me still in it Great I guess I'm gonna have to have a talk with Julie Same talk I had with the gift wrappers at Bloomingdale's Shouldn't your finger be on that box?
I just saw Barry leave What happened?
I...
/ Look, I just bought this bag from the guy out front Why are you buying a woman's purse?
'Cause it goes with the shoes Oh, geez, Jack Why so sad, big tiny?
I just had to let Barry down The guy just came out and his first real date rejects him What?!
He's never been with a man before?!
So he's the virgin Barry I feel bad for him Of course you feel bad You are Barry Barry is you Ergo, you is Barry Ergo, you is idiot Perhaps But I remember another boy who struggled on his way out of the closet He had a little crush on me I found him repellent But still, I took him under my wing I fixed his hair Taught him how to dress Yeah, you sent me to job interview wearing leg warmers with Chinese slippers Perhaps But the point is, we senior gays have a responsibility to the freshmen To teach them to bring them along Why, I helped turn this caterpillar into a chubby butterfly And now you should do the same for Barry Why?
Why is this my responsibility?
Because that's what we do in the community We gay it forward How long you been sitting on that one?
Pretty much since the movie came out Listen, I need to talk to you about something Um, the massage last night...
This is gonna sound crazy But did it mean more to you than it did to me?
Well, I didn't get paid so I doubt it No, no What I mean is...um...
Did you come onto me?
What?
'Cause you were really thorough Dude I'm a massage therapist, okay?
I go where the tension is It really bums me out that you would think anything different Oh, oh, gosh I'm so sorry Of course I mean, I just...
I didn't realize I was tense there Maybe I should go No, don't go.
I'm sorry I'm from the city We are not a trusting people So I-- You know, I wasn't sure I mean we were up all night drinking and laughing And it ended with what I thought was inappropriate touching Seemed like a lot of dates I've been on Grace, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?
I mean, this is what we do We talk.
We kiss.
We hug We get to be intimate It's what makes us better than men Why do you think they die first?
I don't really have a lot of girlfriends Well, I do, but they're men Look, I gotta jet But tomorrow night you wanna catch a film?
I'd love to Good 'cause Greg's gonna be off somewhere doing stand-up I mean, he doesn't make me laugh but God bless See you then Will?
This is my friend, Jack He'll be assisting me in this project Now get dressed we're going to the gym It's after midnight You're not ready to be seen during peak cruising hours What's this about?
We're here to help You got a late start but we're gonna take care of you and raise you right Think of us as your 'mo pair How long you been sitting on that one?
Just since the cab Here's your starter kit All the Tales of the City books Kiehl's non-alcohol face toner Ethel Merman Gypsy Angela Lansbury Gypsy Tyne Daly Gypsy, and Pez Why Pez?
Because it's fun See, candy comes out of the neck There's so much to learn Well, you're in good hands I just had a beautiful manicure
I'm not leaving the state for brunch!
That's so stupid Okay, it gets better Guys, where are you?
I've got salmon I've got caviar I've got fruit Get over here Love you!
She could be serving it on top of a Calvin Klein underwear model I still ain't going to Brooklyn How sad is that?
It can't get any sadder Can't it?
Nice, real nice You better be coming You guys suck!
I hate you!
Love you Hey Have you guys gotten any of those messages from Grace?
They're hilarious!
Blah blah blah...
Love you!
Oh...
So, Wilma, honey, listen I forget, what are you these days gay or straight?
Wait, wait, wait Let me do a little test Okay, there's a penis and a vagina in a tent And it's on fire Which do you save?
Why are they in a tent?
Honey, I'm trying to do you a favor!
I wanna set you up with my cousin, Barry / Ugh What?!
Why him?!
Why not me?
Will's hideous!
No, you're not He's gross!
Not really People flee from him!
Not everyone Poodle, Will needs it more than you do He's desperate!
Hey, I resent that Cute and desperate Thank you Now, listen to me Barry is a great guy Honey, he's smart.
He's handsome Oh, he makes the greatest German dill potato salad for family picnics "Dill"?
That's his best quality?
He uses dill?
All right, I'll go out with him Now, listen, you're meeting him tonight at eight at the Sherry Bar And wear something tight You got good stuff in there Guys!
What are you doing?
I've been sitting in my apartment all day I though you were coming to visit me!
We were just leaving We--we're on our way We're there Where are you?
Hello?
Thanks a lot You know, Brooklyn is where I live now And I would think that my friends could take two minutes out of their lives to come visit me Who needs ya?
I'm going home It's so far �� & �׷��̽� 5���� ���Ǽҵ� 13 (Fagmalion Part One ; Gay It Forward) ���� : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com) ���� ����: �迵ȯ(withmysoul@lycos.co.kr) ��ũ : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com) �����׽�Ʈ : �̼���(memarun@nate.com) �ڸ� ���� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ��� (http://club.nate.com/24) Will & Grace �ڸ��� Yes!
Leo, all my stuff is unpacked and the boxes are gone I know--finally Yes, that's a lie But, I promise you I will only lie about the insignificant things Yes, that's another lie I'll see you later tonight, okay?
I'll have a nice dinner waiting Yes, that is too Who is it?
Your neighbor I brought you a housewarming gift It's a cat Her name's Pees-On-My-Bed but feel free to change it to Pees-On-Your-Bed Thanks, but, um, I'm allergic Oh, well that's ok She's a rescue she didn't expect much out of life I'll just go drown her in the tub with the others What?
No!
Kidding I'm just trying to guilt you Go home, baby God!
You have huge feet too I like that Yeah I waited my whole life to develop and those are the only things that grew I'm Julie Grace Adler Adler I know The old ladies upstairs told me By the way, that's where all your magazines are Interesting Well, the next time Mrs.
Rabinowitz fights me for a cab, boom She's going right down Oh.
You're dark Leo needs that You know, we have a nickname for him in the building "Wish I were doing him instead of my husband."
You have no boundaries I like that So, do you need a hand unpacking?
I'm happy to help...
unless you have a bunch of personal weird stuff you don't want me to see/ No Just don't open the one marked "Tools" Hi, sorry I'm late Traffic was a biatch Okay Clearly Karen meant to fix this guy up with me So here's how I see it Barry and I have dinner You cry quietly at a nearby table until I signal you to pay the check I go home with him You cook us brunch tomorrow Eggs, please Interesting Here's how I see it I grab you by the ear Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
I drag you to the door Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
And I push you in front of a car/ Ow!
Wait!
You don't understand Barry is my soul mate You haven't even met him I love him!
You're crazy Crazy in love!
Hey Hey You got the time?
Um, I'm supposed to meet my date here at eight Oh, it's ten after You know women they love to make an entrance Apparently so does Will Oh Uh, I'm Will Oh, nice to meet you Nice to meet you Nice to meet you, too You know, I don't go on a lot of dates but at some point aren't we supposed to be at the same table?
Not always I'm Will Barry Cousin Karen didn't do you justice You're hot She didn't do you justice either You're--you're here So, shall we order?
Let's order Kind of a late lunch so I-- and you're holding my hand It's just, uh-- Dating...
it's, uh, a little new for me Were you in a long term relationship?
Six years It was pretty serious/ Oh What was his name?
Mary Elizabeth Was that his drag name?
'Cause I think I may have seen his show No, it's a woman I've never been out with a guy before You're my first!
Huh Can I get anyone a drink?
Oh, yeah What do we homosexuals drink, Will?
Well, legally we can drink whatever we want That was established in the Flaming Schnapps Act of 1983 Oh, man, this is going great High five!
Hey, thanks for helping me unpack Wedding pictures Oh, no no no You don't want to look at that It's fifth in a series You need to start with volume one Grace, God This dress is gorgeous Everything's so nice When we got married in my sister's backyard there was dog poop everywhere and she wore shorts My sister was so high at my wedding she thought it was my bat mitzvah She kept shoving 20's down my dress So we have a lot in common Our sisters are bitches Both our husbands are doctors Well, mine's playing one in some Chekhov play in the Bowery (üȣ�� : ���þ� ���۰�) He makes $80 a week And apparently he's not very good Wow Your husband's an actor You're a massage therapist That is so cool and bohemian My husband's a doctor How come we live in the same building?
The apartment belonged to my uncle He died last year I'm sorry Keep it to yourself We haven't told the super Oh Your back?
Yeah, I pulled it at the gym Well, on the phone talking about going to the gym Well, let me give you a massage I'll grab my table No.
No, no, no You've done too much for me already Oh, please I'm just so happy to talk to a neighbor about something other than the Holocaust Damn, Grace, you're so tense You're all knots and bones It's like massaging a frozen turkey Oh...
That feels so good Is the pressure okay?
Mm-hmm.
Perfect...
How about here?
Mm-hmm I'm just gonna go a little lower You go wherever you need to go Well...
Thank you, Karen I had my date with Barry last night Whoo!
Tell me everything Except skip the begging and the tears That I can't stomach Let's start with his stomach It's soft like a baby's And like a baby, he just came out!
Yeah, well, you're no prize pig yourself You got a layer of pink flab a pug nose, a squiggly little tail-- Hey, wait, maybe you are a prize pig!
Why are you in my life you awful, awful woman?!
The point is, you are desperate and he's family So why don't you two join together in misery and make a rotten go of it, huh?
Honey, you must like him You sent him flowers and asked him to go out with you again tonight I didn't send him any-- Oh, God!
Oh, honey, it made his day And so did that picture of you sound asleep making a human pyramid in your Joe Boxers What?!
Oh my God I thought that was a dream Rosario in camouflage with a feather and a zoom lens Great Now I've gotta let him down easy Hey, hey, save it for the locker room Unbelievable!
Unbelievable!
I've got my own problems!
I've got my own problems!
Karen, be honest All right, I pinched Paul Lynde's wallet at the Desert Inn in '84 Well, that would explain why on your job application under references you wrote "Not Paul Lynde."
Look, help me with this I just met my new neighbor, Julie She's a massage therapist She was helping me unpack and then she gave me a massage which I think went a little too far...
south Well, honey, you must've brought it on yourself What were you wearing?
I was naked, under a sheet Hmm, that's not it Oh, my God I got it.
I got it Karen, make an appointment with her If she does the same thing to you then I know it's just part of the massage But if she doesn't do it to you-- Then I'll do it to her No Then I will know that she was coming on to me Ah Honey, exactly where did she touch you?
Show me on this bottle of vodka Right on the Smirnoff Oh, I don't believe this Please, just hear me out I have waited my whole life to find love And then when it finally happens...
I am denied And by who-em?
My best friend Please, Will let me love Hey, Barry I'll see you later Hi I'm sorry I'm late I didn't know what to wear for our second homosexual date Oh, traditionally, whatever's hanging on your homosexual chair in your homosexual bedroom Here, I, uh got you a present It was 49.99 Oh, look at that It's a...
rainbow flag beach towel Do you already have one?
You probably already have one No, I don't And it'll come in handy, when I want people from space to know that I'm gay I just thought I should get you something since you sent me those beautiful flowers Look...
I gotta tell you something I didn't...
I didn't send you those flowers Karen, in her twisted way thought she was trying to help Oh I thought it was a little weird when the card said "Thanks for all the good gay sex, honey."
Look, Barry, you're a great guy But I.../ U-u-u-uh, i-it's okay I'm sorry I'm not better at this I was bad at being straight now I'm bad at being gay It gets easier I guess It's just--I really like you You don't even know me I know you enough You're nice You're really smart You're handsome I know....
I'm sorry, Barry, I just-- I don't feel the same way about you Oh/ But I know someone out there will You're gonna do great Look, let's-- let's order You know, it says "no sharing," but I say let's share And dare them to oppose us What do you say?
You know what I think I'd rather go home But thanks I'll see you, Will Keep the towel So, what happened?
Did she knock, knock knock on heaven's door?
What a waste!
I choppered that girl in from Brooklyn and all I got was a lousy massage!
I get more play outta Rosie when she's washing my bra with me still in it Great I guess I'm gonna have to have a talk with Julie Same talk I had with the gift wrappers at Bloomingdale's Shouldn't your finger be on that box?
I just saw Barry leave What happened?
I...
/ Look, I just bought this bag from the guy out front Why are you buying a woman's purse?
'Cause it goes with the shoes Oh, geez, Jack Why so sad, big tiny?
I just had to let Barry down The guy just came out and his first real date rejects him What?!
He's never been with a man before?!
So he's the virgin Barry I feel bad for him Of course you feel bad You are Barry Barry is you Ergo, you is Barry Ergo, you is idiot Perhaps But I remember another boy who struggled on his way out of the closet He had a little crush on me I found him repellent But still, I took him under my wing I fixed his hair Taught him how to dress Yeah, you sent me to job interview wearing leg warmers with Chinese slippers Perhaps But the point is, we senior gays have a responsibility to the freshmen To teach them to bring them along Why, I helped turn this caterpillar into a chubby butterfly And now you should do the same for Barry Why?
Why is this my responsibility?
Because that's what we do in the community We gay it forward How long you been sitting on that one?
Pretty much since the movie came out Listen, I need to talk to you about something Um, the massage last night...
This is gonna sound crazy But did it mean more to you than it did to me?
Well, I didn't get paid so I doubt it No, no What I mean is...um...
Did you come onto me?
What?
'Cause you were really thorough Dude I'm a massage therapist, okay?
I go where the tension is It really bums me out that you would think anything different Oh, oh, gosh I'm so sorry Of course I mean, I just...
I didn't realize I was tense there Maybe I should go No, don't go.
I'm sorry I'm from the city We are not a trusting people So I-- You know, I wasn't sure I mean we were up all night drinking and laughing And it ended with what I thought was inappropriate touching Seemed like a lot of dates I've been on Grace, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?
I mean, this is what we do We talk.
We kiss.
We hug We get to be intimate It's what makes us better than men Why do you think they die first?
I don't really have a lot of girlfriends Well, I do, but they're men Look, I gotta jet But tomorrow night you wanna catch a film?
I'd love to Good 'cause Greg's gonna be off somewhere doing stand-up I mean, he doesn't make me laugh but God bless See you then Will?
This is my friend, Jack He'll be assisting me in this project Now get dressed we're going to the gym It's after midnight You're not ready to be seen during peak cruising hours What's this about?
We're here to help You got a late start but we're gonna take care of you and raise you right Think of us as your 'mo pair How long you been sitting on that one?
Just since the cab Here's your starter kit All the Tales of the City books Kiehl's non-alcohol face toner Ethel Merman Gypsy Angela Lansbury Gypsy Tyne Daly Gypsy, and Pez Why Pez?
Because it's fun See, candy comes out of the neck There's so much to learn Well, you're in good hands I just had a beautiful manicure