Émission TV: One Tree Hill - 2x12
Previously on One Tree Hill.
You�re Nathan, right?
Yeah, do I� do I know you?
Well you should; I�m your sister-in-law.
Dude, the thing is� when I saw her; I got that d�j� vu thing.
So you probably saw her around school.
She was kinda the first girl I ever had sex with.
Nice work, Jules.
Just like we planned.
What did Dan ask you to do?
Make Keith fall in love with me.
Then break his heart.
Dan�s heart condition; is it genetic?
Yes.
You are taking the test.
There were these� rumours that got started.
But the thing is, they were true.
What were the rumours?
That I like girls.
I won�t say anything.
I can�t do this.
You�re not ready.
Mom, what�s going on?
You wanna live in my house - against my rules?
You�re sure as hell not gonna be comfortable doing it.
The heart test?
Look, I�m sorry mom, but this is my life.
You know, if I�d been that selfish at your age, you might not be here right now!
You can�t make me take this test, mom.
Yeah, well we�ll see about that.
Hey, Mom!
Mom!?
You seem like a decent kid� but most of the applicants at Carl�s Crab Shack have� have some work experience.
Okay, fair enough.
But I make up for my lack of experience in other ways; I am really good with people.
I mean, my friends really like me and I know my crustaceans; lobsters, crab, shrimp - they�re all very� tasty.
Okay, now� I have your number...
Look, Mr� Crab Shack Carl, I need this job.
My car insurance is due, I am on my own and I can not lose my mode of transportation.
Okay, I�m gonna give you a chance.
You can start today.
Okay.
But, I don�t have any waitress slots open right now.
This is more of a� a PR job.
PR, oh PR is perfect for me.
Come get the crabs at Carl�s Crab Shack.
Crab cakes, crab steaks and creamy crab shakes.
Come get the crabs at Carls Crab Shack.
If you came by for a game, Lucas, you know I can�t let you play.
What�re you doing to Keith?
You mean Keith Scott; the new VP at Dan Scott motors?
Company car, six figure salary, Keith Scott?
With Jules?!
She told me everything.
Don�t deny it.
And I wanted to believe that you�d somehow changed.
Keith slept with Deb!
What kind of man sleeps with his brother�s wife?
You�re lying.
Am I?
Ask him.
The night I walked in on them was the night I had my heart attack.
And I wanted revenge; just like any man would.
But after a few weeks I came to my senses; I couldn�t do that to my own brother, no matter what he did to me.
That�s why I gave him the job � out of guilt� and I told Jules to leave town quietly.
Whatever, why should I believe anything you say anymore?
Because it�s the truth.
I don�t know what she�s still doing here.
Maybe she�s seen his paycheque.
Shut that off!
Is this the infamous Chris?
Sounds sexy!
Nathan is in the bedroom; do you wanna start World War Three?
Nice henna tattoo.
It�s not henna.
It� is real!
23?
That how many tequila shots it took you to do it?
Stop it!
Hey, what happened to the whole; tattoos are for sluts and burnouts sermon that you gave me?
Uh, 23 is Nathan�s jersey number and you permanently marked your body with some random� spider.
The scorpion paralyses its victims.
Nothing random about that.
Yeah, I bet.
You got a tattoo.
And, conveniently, it�s� in the exact same spot as me.
I guess you don�t disapprove of your older sister so much after all.
Don�t flatter yourself.
Does this mean you didn�t wait for the ring to give it up either?
I waited, until I was in love.
How about you, Nathan?
Were you in love the first time you had sex?
Tay!
What?!
We�re family now, we shouldn�t� have secrets.
It�s not really any of your business but the truth is� whoever my first was, wasn�t nearly as important as my last.
Thank you.
Now you�re sure that my staying here isn�t an inhibition?
Of course not, we�ve got plenty of room.
Well, the last time I had my hardwood floors refinished it took almost a week.
Hey, Lucas.
Hey, Andy.
Okay, if you need anything, you know, stereo, Playstation� clean underwear...
check the garage.
Thanks, I will.
Stupid little kids.
One of them poured a soda down my hole and now I�m all sticky.
Honey, that�s nothing.
One time a gang of eight year olds pushed me into the fountain.
Wanted to watch the lobster swim.
I�m Marla.
I�m Brooke, and you are so not a lobster!
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah.
So how long have you been doing this?
Six weeks.
I used to be a giant beaver down at the lumber yard so at least I�m moving up.
It�s a sucky job but I really need the money, so.
Tell me about it.
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
That�s it?
The six most humiliating hours of my life and I made fifteen dollars?!
I deducted the usual fee for costume rental and dry-cleaning.
That is a total racket!
We bust our butts out there all day.
I have a blister from this thing, okay?
We should be getting hazard pay.
Any of you other crabs feel this way?
Well then, if you don�t like it, I guess it�s� goodbye car insurance, hello city bus.
Hey, thanks.
Dan Scott looking for recipes?
I have officially seen everything.
I was thinking about inviting Keith and his girlfriend over for dinner.
They�re getting serious; time she met the family.
Well, wouldn�t that be a little awkward?
Why should it be?
You and Karen both slept with me and you still figured out a way to be friends.
Well, that�s what I mean.
She seems like such a nice person, one night with our crazy family, she might skip town.
Ah, I don�t think so.
And this isn�t just another opportunity for you to� rip Keith apart?
It isn�t.
Promise.
I�ll call Keith and set it up.
Hello!
Hey, it�s me.
Uh� what�re you doing?
Oh, nothing, just� thinking of you.
So, Keith slept with Nathan�s mom?
I don�t know.
I mean, can�t really trust what Dan says.
But you know Jules and Dan set Keith up?
Are you gonna tell him?
I mean, if I don�t, I�m basically lying to my uncle.
And if you do, it�ll crush him.
Yeah.
I just can�t believe Jules.
I mean, she says she loves Keith but, I mean, what kind of a person would do something like this in the first place?
You know?
Maybe Jules was a bad person when she went into it� but now her feelings for Keith are real.
Or maybe it�s all just part of the lie.
Thank you...
for talking to me about this, Anna.
It feels good to� have at least one person in my life that knows the truth.
Well, you�re that person for me.
Although, there is� one other person who knows.
Felix.
Not hardly.
Peyton.
Ah, you told Peyton?
No� but she� kind of found out when...
I kind of kissed her.
Luke.
Hold on, hold on.
I�m picturing that.
Okay, don�t be such a guy!
It was only the single most embarrassing moment of my life!
Sorry.
Let�s just say � it didn�t end well and� now she�s avoiding me.
No, no, it�s not that at all.
She just� took a little road trip.
She only told me and Brooke.
What?
Nah, it�s just kinda funny.
Last time I kissed Peyton, it didn�t end well either.
We have to talk.
You didn�t call me back.
So we still on for tomorrow night?
Definitely.
Well that�s good, cos I just got a call; we�re invited to dinner � at my brother, Dan�s, house.
What the hell are you doing?
Shopping.
But, apparently, I�m the only James that got the good taste gene.
You know what I�m talking about.
We agreed to keep what happened between us a secret.
Relax, Nathan, Haley doesn�t have a clue.
I went out on a limb for you.
I said you could stay here because I knew you didn�t have anywhere else to go.
And I� really appreciate it.
If you keep this up, I�ll throw you out on your ass.
Or maybe I should tell Haley about our history; and then you�ll be the one out on your ass.
How�d you like a crab leg up your ass?!
Nice claws.
I though you said you had a crappy new job.
Why are you here; to make fun of me?
No, I came to have lunch, and give my waitress girlfriend a big tip.
Well surprise, I�m not a waitress, I�m a crab.
Trust me, that�s no surprise.
I applied everywhere, okay?
This was the only job I could get.
At least I look good in red.
Oh, Felix, come on!
Felix, come on, no!
Just one.
Just, come on.
Come on!
No, don�t take a picture of me.
No!
Enough!
Enough, okay?
Enough!
Stop!
Wait a minute.
Hey!
Snap to it, Crabitha!
And no flirting with the sailors!
Okay.
Hey, Carl, I�m just curious.
I�ve been at this for three hours, so, when do I get a break?
State law says I don�t have to give you a break.
A shark stops swimming; it�ll drown.
But I�m a crab!
Whatever.
It�s all fish!
I hate that guy!
I don�t know why any of the rest of the crabs put up with him.
They probably need money, like you.
Otherwise, you could all band together and pince him to death.
Hey, Luke!
What�s up?
I need to talk to you.
Is everything okay?
Remember when we were in Charleston?
And you said you�d done some things you weren�t proud of?
Yeah.
Was it Deb?
You and Deb?
It�s� it�s kinda complicated, Luke.
No, not really!
I mean, there�s some lines you just don�t cross!
It was a mistake, I know.
I know it�s no excuse but� I was lonely.
Your mom had just turned down my proposal and� and it just� sorta happened.
Look, its bad enough it was someone�s wife but Dan�s wife?!
He�s never gonna let that go!
I know you�re disappointed in me, Luke.
I�m never gonna make a mistake like that again.
I�m with Jules now.
And I�m not gonna do anything to mess that up.
So� things are going well?
With you and Jules?
Yeah.
I never thought I�d feel this way again; after your mom.
But� she�s the one Luke.
Look, I�m not proud of what I did with Deb and� that�s the only reason that I kept a secret from you.
You understand that, right?
Sure.
You know, I�ve been to Turkey; they have prisons more comfortable than this.
Here, I swiped you some saltines.
Thank you.
Ah, just don�t tell the warden.
You know, at least she�s creative.
Single moms are the toughest.
I guess they have to be.
I think I kinda lost her.
Or you could just take the test.
I had to try.
I mean, you know she�s just worried about you, right?
Yeah, I know, but at a certain point, she needs to just� you know, trust me to do the right thing.
Alright.
Just� don�t be too hard on your mom.
Sometimes, people do crazy things when they�re desperate.
Family dinner was never part of the arrangement.
It was my wife�s idea.
Couldn�t talk her out of it.
Just a simple dinner.
Consider it overtime.
I told you, I�m not doing this anymore.
What Keith and I have is real.
If that�s the case, why don�t you come over to dinner and convince me?
Maybe we�ll discuss a change of plans.
Hey.
So, I was thinking about asking Karen if we could live here till Taylor�s gone; maybe like, put a mattress behind the counter or something.
Yeah� we need to talk about her.
Ah-ha!
Yeah, I warned you about her.
Give Taylor and inch and she�ll take whatever the hell she wants.
I know her a lot better than you do.
Alright, Haley� we got married� so quickly, we never really� had the talk that most people have when they get engaged.
About� you know, past relationships, sexual history.
Ah, well that�s probably because I can give you mine in under ten seconds while yours is catalogued in the Library of Congress.
What�s going on?
Alright.
My first time� was at this party at my parent�s beach house.
I was pretty wasted and I� never� really saw the girl again.
Until now.
Until now�?
Haley, listen, I swear, I hadn�t even heard of you when this happened, okay?
Taylor?
I�m sorry, I just, look...
she threatened to tell you and I just thought you should hear it from me.
You slept with my sister?
This was like two years ago!
I...
Look, I didn�t know you; I didn�t even know there was gonna be a you.
I should go.
Haley?
You�re home early.
You�re home all the time.
What�re you doing on my laptop?
Cruising for jailbait?
Excuse me?
Well I heard your speciality is deflowering freshmen!
So the Boy Scout told you.
Quite a coincidence, huh?
Eh, but look, look at it this way; now we can compare notes.
It's not funny, Taylor!
Would you� let go!
If you wanted to find someone I hadn�t slept with, you could�ve moved to Alaska.
You know what, do you think my relationship with Nathan is just a big joke?!
No!
Of course not!
But I think that Chris is a laugh riot.
What are you talking about?
I�m talking about you, bitching about your husband�s past when you have a present!
I was online and I got an IM, or rather, you did.
You�ve been kissing Chris.
I don�t� I don�t know what you�re talking about.
Are you sleeping with him?
No!
It�s not what it looks like, okay?
Oh, really?
Cos it seems to me like Saint Haley is just as bad as the rest of us!
Taylor, Nathan can not find out about this.
Fine, Hay � but you have to let me stay here.
At least until I figure out what I�m doing.
That costume is so sweaty.
I had a rash all over my...
Well anyways, I got a rash.
I�ve got carpal tunnel from snapping my pincers all day long.
Okay, you guys, we can stand around the break room and complain and� be crabby, or we can figure out a way to protect ourselves from that guy.
But if we wanna change things, we have to do it together.
So you wanna form, like, a Crab Union?
I�m thinking more along the lines of a Crab Sorority.
We make a list of our demands and we take them to management.
Okay, look, it�s not a bad idea� but I�ve got a two year old at home.
I really need this job.
Besides, I�ve seen Carl fire people who make trouble.
Okay, but what if I can find a way to guarantee that none of us get fired?
Are you all on board?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys?
Yeah.
Okay.
What�re you doing?
Nothing.
What�s up?
Well, I didn�t know how soon I�d see you again after yesterday so...
Yeah, I know, I...
I�ve been thinking about that a lot.
I came down pretty hard on ya.
Yeah, you weren�t the only one running away to Charleston.
Yeah, well, don�t worry.
You weren�t any harder on me than I was on myself.
But, that�s not what I wanna talk to you about.
This...
HCM thing.
Look, I don�t care what mom told you.
Right, I�m not taking the test.
Yeah, that�s what I said.
You know, we�ve got the same genes, Luke.
I�m just as at risk as you are.
And I�ve been putting off the test too.
You wanna know why?
Because I�m scared.
Yeah.
Me too.
But I�ve decided I�m gonna take the test; if it�ll give Jules piece of mind.
Jules wants you to take the test?
Ah, she�s been bugging me about it for three weeks.
You know, just like your mom.
You know, that�s what people do if they care about you, Luke.
How bout we go together?
Not for us, for them.
Just give it some thought, huh?
Okay, I� gotta get going.
Hey, Keith.
Thank you for being here for me.
Always.
And I just want you to know, I�m here for you, too.
No matter what happens.
Don�t worry about the test, Luke.
Everything�s gonna be okay.
Don�t worry, Nate.
You don�t have to throw the ball at the river.
Just here to watch.
What�s going on with you?
It�s a long story.
Actually, it�s not a long story; uh� I kinda told Haley that I slept with Taylor.
Guess I�m not the only one who doesn�t wanna go home.
You know, I�ve been thinking lately.
Maybe it�s okay to lie, if you�re doing it to protect somebody.
Now you tell me.
I mean, look, when you got together with Haley, you were just doing it to screw with me, right?
Yeah, pretty much.
But� when she found out, she was able to forgive you.
Yeah, but that�s all Haley.
Why?
What�d you do wrong?
Nothing, really.
I mean, at least I didn�t sleep with Taylor.
Yeah, well, I better go home and try to get Haley to forgive me again.
Alright, man.
Am I in the right apartment?
Where�s that� nasty incense smell?
Oh, Taylor, went out for a jog.
Does this mean you�re talking to me again?
I�m really sorry, Nathan.
I� overreacted.
What happened with you and Taylor was a long time ago and I just don�t� have any right to be angry.
Wow, I am in the wrong apartment.
Besides, the things we did in the past don�t mean anything, right?
Well, you don�t have to worry anymore.
I went through your family album and I haven�t� slept with any of your other sisters.
Listen, Haley...
Look, I don�t wanna hurt you.
I don�t wanna lie to you either.
I know how honest you are with me.
Keith?
Promise me we can talk later.
We�ll have dinner first and then we�ll see if you�re still talking to me.
Danny!
This is Jules.
Jules, this is my brother, Dan.
Nice to meet you Jules.
Come on in There you go.
So, Jules, how does someone like you end up with someone like my brother?
Just good luck I guess.
Oh, come on, it�s gotta be more than that.
What�s your story?
Where�re you from?
Texas.
I thought you said you were from the mid-west.
We�re from all over, really.
Army bred.
Deb, this chicken is fantastic.
And I�m not just saying that cos you�re� kinda my boss.
Well thanks but, actually, Dan made dinner.
You okay?
Yeah.
So how are things going, down at the club?
Great!
We�ve been really busy.
Well good.
So, Keith, you�re dating a bartender.
It�s like a dream come true for you, huh boozy?
Must be fascinating work though; get to hear everyone�s dirty secrets.
We all have them.
I guess every bartender has to be part therapist.
Well sure, but it�s gotta be tough; pretending to care about the poor bastards.
I don�t have to pretend.
Uh, Deb, you did a...
You did a beautiful job � the table looks� just great.
Thanks, Keith.
You know, Jules� Deb and Keith have always been very close.
They have a very special relationship.
Not just in-laws, more� loving!
Hopefully, you and I can carry on the tradition.
Geez, Dan.
Put it away and help me with desert.
Sure, but first a toast.
To Jules and Keith.
And to honesty.
The foundation of every good relationship.
Look at these people.
They all know what they want and� they manage to find it.
Makes me kinda jealous.
Okay, maybe not them.
You probably think I�m weird, huh?
Well, yeah.
But I�ve thought that since I first met ya.
It�s just that� You like girls, or you like guys.
Trust me, I wish it was like that for me.
Be a lot easier if I could just� pick a team.
Well, not necessarily.
Look, maybe you shouldn�t� feel so much pressure to define yourself.
So� are you gonna take this HCM test, or what?
Your mom tracked me down.
Look, Luke, for selfish reasons � I think you should.
I mean, as far as friends go, you�re all I�ve got.
I can�t risk losing you.
But what if it was your mom that was supposed to take this test?
She�s the only mom you�ve got.
Would you let her take that for granted?
No, I do not have time right now.
And just because we�re dating does not mean that you get a sexual season pass.
What�s going on?
I promised the other Crabs I�d figure out a way to make things better at work so I�m gonna look up dirt on this Carl guy.
That, or you could go after him legally.
How do you mean?
Try looking on the state employment website.
I mean, a guy like that�s bound to be breaking some type of small business law.
I�ll get us some coffee and we can work all night.
You�re gonna help me?
Of course, Brooke.
You�re my girlfriend.
Thanks.
Besides, I�d have to if we�re ever gonna have sex again.
Just kidding.
Those trophies are all for first place.
Expect that one.
Second place.
My junior year against Malpilot.
We would have won the game too� except the team tried to change the offence in mid-play.
Is that what this dinner was all about?
The dinner to remind you who you�re working for.
I pay you; I give you a place it live.
In exchange, you do exactly what I say.
I don�t wanna do this anymore!
I love Keith.
You know, I�m as romantic as the next guy � and ordinarily, I�d let you guys ride off into the sunset together� but you told my son.
He found out!
Well, from now on, you leave Lucas to me.
Your only job is to finish what we started.
Come on, Jules.
It�d be different if you were gonna spend the rest of your life with him.
Do you really think Keith would forgive you if he knew the truth?
Hey.
Sorry about your hair.
Sorry I slept with your husband.
If it�s any consolation, I�m not that memorable.
Okay, that�s a lie.
What am I gonna do, Taylor?
Hang in there, eventually, he�ll forget about me.
No, I�m serious.
I love Nathan and this is all really confusing.
Because you kissed Chris?
No.
Because I�m� just jealous of what Chris has!
You know, his music; the freedom to pursue his dream� and that� kiss just made it a lot messier.
I really don�t know what to do.
I am� the wrong girl to ask for advice.
You wanna know why I really got the tattoo?
When the scorpion�s caught in a fire, it stings itself to death.
That�s a myth, actually.
Not in my life.
When things get bad, I always� find a way to make them worse.
Truth is, Hay, you�ve always been miles ahead of me.
And most of the time, I feel like the little sister.
You�ll do the right thing, Haley-bub...
you always do.
Hey, Luke.
What�re you doing here?
Nah, I just� wanted to see how you�re doing.
Well actually I�m...
I�m glad you stopped by.
Something happened tonight; with Jules.
I asked her to marry me.
Hey, don�t look so worried.
She said yes.
That�s great.
What are you standing around here for?
Get back to work!
Oh, we will, soon as you agree to our list of demands.
Demands?
What is this?
I�ve been doing some research.
It turns out that uniform maintenance can not be deducted from our hourly wages.
And these crab suits are not flame retardant which is a violation of O.S.H.A.
O.S.H.A?
Trust me.
And there is plenty more where that came from.
We are not singing our Crabby songs until you comply.
Oh, okay, you win.
Turn in your crabby suits.
You�re all fired!
I can snap my fingers, and get crabs whenever I want to.
Okay.
Girls, here you go.
That�s for you.
And you.
That�s for you.
And what the hell is this?
Well, since you�ve fired us, you�ve given us plenty of time to pick it.
And...
what do the signs say?
Nothing your entire crab staff doesn�t already know; that your so-called �fresh crabs� aren�t fresh at all.
They�re frozen.
Now girls!
That�s a lie.
Really?
They�re supposed to be flown in daily; from Alaska.
They come in on a truck� from Jersey.
Listen, you can�t prove any of it!
Oh, really?
In the case of �Carl�s Famous Crab Bisk� � you use imitation crab!
Okay...
Negotiate.
A dollar more per hour per crab.
Right, fine!
Two fifteen minute breaks.
One!
Hey, Marls, did I say two� twenty minute breaks?
Yep.
You said fifteen.
Alright, two.
Get rid of the signs and you�ve got a deal.
Damn crabs.
Hey, how�d it go?
We won!
So, what�s gonna be your first act as an organised crab?
Actually, I quit.
Seriously?
Yeah.
I put in my two weeks notice because by then, I�ll have enough money to pay my car insurance� and as it turns out, I�m not so big on the working thing.
Felt really good to do something nice for the little guy though.
Well, you must be pretty tired.
How bout you get some rest, and I�ll come by later.
How bout you get some rest with me now, boyfriend?
So what d�ya think about your uncle being engaged?
Honestly, I think it�s a little fast.
Ah, well, you know, this HCM thing� it reminded me that, you know, every day might be the last and that� I wanna live them all with Jules.
I know, but� I mean, what do you really know about her?
You know, I know that you wanted me to marry your mom.
But� life doesn�t always work according to plan and I had to move on, you know.
I don�t wanna miss a second chance.
And trust me, once you get to know Jules, you�re gonna love her just as much as I do.
You know, I�m glad you�re taking the test, Luke.
Well, like you said; for my mom, right?
Look, before we go in, there�s something I wanna ask ya.
I know this whole thing is still� sinking in� but it would mean a lot to me if you�d be my best man.
Sure.
Alright.
Mom?
I don�t agree with your decision.
I don�t understand.
And I�m not going to.
I took the test.
We�ll know in a couple of days.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What d�ya want?
You and I are the only ones who know the truth about Jules� and I�m willing to keep it a secret...
Keith never has to know.
What d�ya want from me?
I�m sure we can work something out.
Synchro: Amariss www.forom.com -
You�re Nathan, right?
Yeah, do I� do I know you?
Well you should; I�m your sister-in-law.
Dude, the thing is� when I saw her; I got that d�j� vu thing.
So you probably saw her around school.
She was kinda the first girl I ever had sex with.
Nice work, Jules.
Just like we planned.
What did Dan ask you to do?
Make Keith fall in love with me.
Then break his heart.
Dan�s heart condition; is it genetic?
Yes.
You are taking the test.
There were these� rumours that got started.
But the thing is, they were true.
What were the rumours?
That I like girls.
I won�t say anything.
I can�t do this.
You�re not ready.
Mom, what�s going on?
You wanna live in my house - against my rules?
You�re sure as hell not gonna be comfortable doing it.
The heart test?
Look, I�m sorry mom, but this is my life.
You know, if I�d been that selfish at your age, you might not be here right now!
You can�t make me take this test, mom.
Yeah, well we�ll see about that.
Hey, Mom!
Mom!?
You seem like a decent kid� but most of the applicants at Carl�s Crab Shack have� have some work experience.
Okay, fair enough.
But I make up for my lack of experience in other ways; I am really good with people.
I mean, my friends really like me and I know my crustaceans; lobsters, crab, shrimp - they�re all very� tasty.
Okay, now� I have your number...
Look, Mr� Crab Shack Carl, I need this job.
My car insurance is due, I am on my own and I can not lose my mode of transportation.
Okay, I�m gonna give you a chance.
You can start today.
Okay.
But, I don�t have any waitress slots open right now.
This is more of a� a PR job.
PR, oh PR is perfect for me.
Come get the crabs at Carl�s Crab Shack.
Crab cakes, crab steaks and creamy crab shakes.
Come get the crabs at Carls Crab Shack.
If you came by for a game, Lucas, you know I can�t let you play.
What�re you doing to Keith?
You mean Keith Scott; the new VP at Dan Scott motors?
Company car, six figure salary, Keith Scott?
With Jules?!
She told me everything.
Don�t deny it.
And I wanted to believe that you�d somehow changed.
Keith slept with Deb!
What kind of man sleeps with his brother�s wife?
You�re lying.
Am I?
Ask him.
The night I walked in on them was the night I had my heart attack.
And I wanted revenge; just like any man would.
But after a few weeks I came to my senses; I couldn�t do that to my own brother, no matter what he did to me.
That�s why I gave him the job � out of guilt� and I told Jules to leave town quietly.
Whatever, why should I believe anything you say anymore?
Because it�s the truth.
I don�t know what she�s still doing here.
Maybe she�s seen his paycheque.
Shut that off!
Is this the infamous Chris?
Sounds sexy!
Nathan is in the bedroom; do you wanna start World War Three?
Nice henna tattoo.
It�s not henna.
It� is real!
23?
That how many tequila shots it took you to do it?
Stop it!
Hey, what happened to the whole; tattoos are for sluts and burnouts sermon that you gave me?
Uh, 23 is Nathan�s jersey number and you permanently marked your body with some random� spider.
The scorpion paralyses its victims.
Nothing random about that.
Yeah, I bet.
You got a tattoo.
And, conveniently, it�s� in the exact same spot as me.
I guess you don�t disapprove of your older sister so much after all.
Don�t flatter yourself.
Does this mean you didn�t wait for the ring to give it up either?
I waited, until I was in love.
How about you, Nathan?
Were you in love the first time you had sex?
Tay!
What?!
We�re family now, we shouldn�t� have secrets.
It�s not really any of your business but the truth is� whoever my first was, wasn�t nearly as important as my last.
Thank you.
Now you�re sure that my staying here isn�t an inhibition?
Of course not, we�ve got plenty of room.
Well, the last time I had my hardwood floors refinished it took almost a week.
Hey, Lucas.
Hey, Andy.
Okay, if you need anything, you know, stereo, Playstation� clean underwear...
check the garage.
Thanks, I will.
Stupid little kids.
One of them poured a soda down my hole and now I�m all sticky.
Honey, that�s nothing.
One time a gang of eight year olds pushed me into the fountain.
Wanted to watch the lobster swim.
I�m Marla.
I�m Brooke, and you are so not a lobster!
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah.
So how long have you been doing this?
Six weeks.
I used to be a giant beaver down at the lumber yard so at least I�m moving up.
It�s a sucky job but I really need the money, so.
Tell me about it.
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
That�s it?
The six most humiliating hours of my life and I made fifteen dollars?!
I deducted the usual fee for costume rental and dry-cleaning.
That is a total racket!
We bust our butts out there all day.
I have a blister from this thing, okay?
We should be getting hazard pay.
Any of you other crabs feel this way?
Well then, if you don�t like it, I guess it�s� goodbye car insurance, hello city bus.
Hey, thanks.
Dan Scott looking for recipes?
I have officially seen everything.
I was thinking about inviting Keith and his girlfriend over for dinner.
They�re getting serious; time she met the family.
Well, wouldn�t that be a little awkward?
Why should it be?
You and Karen both slept with me and you still figured out a way to be friends.
Well, that�s what I mean.
She seems like such a nice person, one night with our crazy family, she might skip town.
Ah, I don�t think so.
And this isn�t just another opportunity for you to� rip Keith apart?
It isn�t.
Promise.
I�ll call Keith and set it up.
Hello!
Hey, it�s me.
Uh� what�re you doing?
Oh, nothing, just� thinking of you.
So, Keith slept with Nathan�s mom?
I don�t know.
I mean, can�t really trust what Dan says.
But you know Jules and Dan set Keith up?
Are you gonna tell him?
I mean, if I don�t, I�m basically lying to my uncle.
And if you do, it�ll crush him.
Yeah.
I just can�t believe Jules.
I mean, she says she loves Keith but, I mean, what kind of a person would do something like this in the first place?
You know?
Maybe Jules was a bad person when she went into it� but now her feelings for Keith are real.
Or maybe it�s all just part of the lie.
Thank you...
for talking to me about this, Anna.
It feels good to� have at least one person in my life that knows the truth.
Well, you�re that person for me.
Although, there is� one other person who knows.
Felix.
Not hardly.
Peyton.
Ah, you told Peyton?
No� but she� kind of found out when...
I kind of kissed her.
Luke.
Hold on, hold on.
I�m picturing that.
Okay, don�t be such a guy!
It was only the single most embarrassing moment of my life!
Sorry.
Let�s just say � it didn�t end well and� now she�s avoiding me.
No, no, it�s not that at all.
She just� took a little road trip.
She only told me and Brooke.
What?
Nah, it�s just kinda funny.
Last time I kissed Peyton, it didn�t end well either.
We have to talk.
You didn�t call me back.
So we still on for tomorrow night?
Definitely.
Well that�s good, cos I just got a call; we�re invited to dinner � at my brother, Dan�s, house.
What the hell are you doing?
Shopping.
But, apparently, I�m the only James that got the good taste gene.
You know what I�m talking about.
We agreed to keep what happened between us a secret.
Relax, Nathan, Haley doesn�t have a clue.
I went out on a limb for you.
I said you could stay here because I knew you didn�t have anywhere else to go.
And I� really appreciate it.
If you keep this up, I�ll throw you out on your ass.
Or maybe I should tell Haley about our history; and then you�ll be the one out on your ass.
How�d you like a crab leg up your ass?!
Nice claws.
I though you said you had a crappy new job.
Why are you here; to make fun of me?
No, I came to have lunch, and give my waitress girlfriend a big tip.
Well surprise, I�m not a waitress, I�m a crab.
Trust me, that�s no surprise.
I applied everywhere, okay?
This was the only job I could get.
At least I look good in red.
Oh, Felix, come on!
Felix, come on, no!
Just one.
Just, come on.
Come on!
No, don�t take a picture of me.
No!
Enough!
Enough, okay?
Enough!
Stop!
Wait a minute.
Hey!
Snap to it, Crabitha!
And no flirting with the sailors!
Okay.
Hey, Carl, I�m just curious.
I�ve been at this for three hours, so, when do I get a break?
State law says I don�t have to give you a break.
A shark stops swimming; it�ll drown.
But I�m a crab!
Whatever.
It�s all fish!
I hate that guy!
I don�t know why any of the rest of the crabs put up with him.
They probably need money, like you.
Otherwise, you could all band together and pince him to death.
Hey, Luke!
What�s up?
I need to talk to you.
Is everything okay?
Remember when we were in Charleston?
And you said you�d done some things you weren�t proud of?
Yeah.
Was it Deb?
You and Deb?
It�s� it�s kinda complicated, Luke.
No, not really!
I mean, there�s some lines you just don�t cross!
It was a mistake, I know.
I know it�s no excuse but� I was lonely.
Your mom had just turned down my proposal and� and it just� sorta happened.
Look, its bad enough it was someone�s wife but Dan�s wife?!
He�s never gonna let that go!
I know you�re disappointed in me, Luke.
I�m never gonna make a mistake like that again.
I�m with Jules now.
And I�m not gonna do anything to mess that up.
So� things are going well?
With you and Jules?
Yeah.
I never thought I�d feel this way again; after your mom.
But� she�s the one Luke.
Look, I�m not proud of what I did with Deb and� that�s the only reason that I kept a secret from you.
You understand that, right?
Sure.
You know, I�ve been to Turkey; they have prisons more comfortable than this.
Here, I swiped you some saltines.
Thank you.
Ah, just don�t tell the warden.
You know, at least she�s creative.
Single moms are the toughest.
I guess they have to be.
I think I kinda lost her.
Or you could just take the test.
I had to try.
I mean, you know she�s just worried about you, right?
Yeah, I know, but at a certain point, she needs to just� you know, trust me to do the right thing.
Alright.
Just� don�t be too hard on your mom.
Sometimes, people do crazy things when they�re desperate.
Family dinner was never part of the arrangement.
It was my wife�s idea.
Couldn�t talk her out of it.
Just a simple dinner.
Consider it overtime.
I told you, I�m not doing this anymore.
What Keith and I have is real.
If that�s the case, why don�t you come over to dinner and convince me?
Maybe we�ll discuss a change of plans.
Hey.
So, I was thinking about asking Karen if we could live here till Taylor�s gone; maybe like, put a mattress behind the counter or something.
Yeah� we need to talk about her.
Ah-ha!
Yeah, I warned you about her.
Give Taylor and inch and she�ll take whatever the hell she wants.
I know her a lot better than you do.
Alright, Haley� we got married� so quickly, we never really� had the talk that most people have when they get engaged.
About� you know, past relationships, sexual history.
Ah, well that�s probably because I can give you mine in under ten seconds while yours is catalogued in the Library of Congress.
What�s going on?
Alright.
My first time� was at this party at my parent�s beach house.
I was pretty wasted and I� never� really saw the girl again.
Until now.
Until now�?
Haley, listen, I swear, I hadn�t even heard of you when this happened, okay?
Taylor?
I�m sorry, I just, look...
she threatened to tell you and I just thought you should hear it from me.
You slept with my sister?
This was like two years ago!
I...
Look, I didn�t know you; I didn�t even know there was gonna be a you.
I should go.
Haley?
You�re home early.
You�re home all the time.
What�re you doing on my laptop?
Cruising for jailbait?
Excuse me?
Well I heard your speciality is deflowering freshmen!
So the Boy Scout told you.
Quite a coincidence, huh?
Eh, but look, look at it this way; now we can compare notes.
It's not funny, Taylor!
Would you� let go!
If you wanted to find someone I hadn�t slept with, you could�ve moved to Alaska.
You know what, do you think my relationship with Nathan is just a big joke?!
No!
Of course not!
But I think that Chris is a laugh riot.
What are you talking about?
I�m talking about you, bitching about your husband�s past when you have a present!
I was online and I got an IM, or rather, you did.
You�ve been kissing Chris.
I don�t� I don�t know what you�re talking about.
Are you sleeping with him?
No!
It�s not what it looks like, okay?
Oh, really?
Cos it seems to me like Saint Haley is just as bad as the rest of us!
Taylor, Nathan can not find out about this.
Fine, Hay � but you have to let me stay here.
At least until I figure out what I�m doing.
That costume is so sweaty.
I had a rash all over my...
Well anyways, I got a rash.
I�ve got carpal tunnel from snapping my pincers all day long.
Okay, you guys, we can stand around the break room and complain and� be crabby, or we can figure out a way to protect ourselves from that guy.
But if we wanna change things, we have to do it together.
So you wanna form, like, a Crab Union?
I�m thinking more along the lines of a Crab Sorority.
We make a list of our demands and we take them to management.
Okay, look, it�s not a bad idea� but I�ve got a two year old at home.
I really need this job.
Besides, I�ve seen Carl fire people who make trouble.
Okay, but what if I can find a way to guarantee that none of us get fired?
Are you all on board?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys?
Yeah.
Okay.
What�re you doing?
Nothing.
What�s up?
Well, I didn�t know how soon I�d see you again after yesterday so...
Yeah, I know, I...
I�ve been thinking about that a lot.
I came down pretty hard on ya.
Yeah, you weren�t the only one running away to Charleston.
Yeah, well, don�t worry.
You weren�t any harder on me than I was on myself.
But, that�s not what I wanna talk to you about.
This...
HCM thing.
Look, I don�t care what mom told you.
Right, I�m not taking the test.
Yeah, that�s what I said.
You know, we�ve got the same genes, Luke.
I�m just as at risk as you are.
And I�ve been putting off the test too.
You wanna know why?
Because I�m scared.
Yeah.
Me too.
But I�ve decided I�m gonna take the test; if it�ll give Jules piece of mind.
Jules wants you to take the test?
Ah, she�s been bugging me about it for three weeks.
You know, just like your mom.
You know, that�s what people do if they care about you, Luke.
How bout we go together?
Not for us, for them.
Just give it some thought, huh?
Okay, I� gotta get going.
Hey, Keith.
Thank you for being here for me.
Always.
And I just want you to know, I�m here for you, too.
No matter what happens.
Don�t worry about the test, Luke.
Everything�s gonna be okay.
Don�t worry, Nate.
You don�t have to throw the ball at the river.
Just here to watch.
What�s going on with you?
It�s a long story.
Actually, it�s not a long story; uh� I kinda told Haley that I slept with Taylor.
Guess I�m not the only one who doesn�t wanna go home.
You know, I�ve been thinking lately.
Maybe it�s okay to lie, if you�re doing it to protect somebody.
Now you tell me.
I mean, look, when you got together with Haley, you were just doing it to screw with me, right?
Yeah, pretty much.
But� when she found out, she was able to forgive you.
Yeah, but that�s all Haley.
Why?
What�d you do wrong?
Nothing, really.
I mean, at least I didn�t sleep with Taylor.
Yeah, well, I better go home and try to get Haley to forgive me again.
Alright, man.
Am I in the right apartment?
Where�s that� nasty incense smell?
Oh, Taylor, went out for a jog.
Does this mean you�re talking to me again?
I�m really sorry, Nathan.
I� overreacted.
What happened with you and Taylor was a long time ago and I just don�t� have any right to be angry.
Wow, I am in the wrong apartment.
Besides, the things we did in the past don�t mean anything, right?
Well, you don�t have to worry anymore.
I went through your family album and I haven�t� slept with any of your other sisters.
Listen, Haley...
Look, I don�t wanna hurt you.
I don�t wanna lie to you either.
I know how honest you are with me.
Keith?
Promise me we can talk later.
We�ll have dinner first and then we�ll see if you�re still talking to me.
Danny!
This is Jules.
Jules, this is my brother, Dan.
Nice to meet you Jules.
Come on in There you go.
So, Jules, how does someone like you end up with someone like my brother?
Just good luck I guess.
Oh, come on, it�s gotta be more than that.
What�s your story?
Where�re you from?
Texas.
I thought you said you were from the mid-west.
We�re from all over, really.
Army bred.
Deb, this chicken is fantastic.
And I�m not just saying that cos you�re� kinda my boss.
Well thanks but, actually, Dan made dinner.
You okay?
Yeah.
So how are things going, down at the club?
Great!
We�ve been really busy.
Well good.
So, Keith, you�re dating a bartender.
It�s like a dream come true for you, huh boozy?
Must be fascinating work though; get to hear everyone�s dirty secrets.
We all have them.
I guess every bartender has to be part therapist.
Well sure, but it�s gotta be tough; pretending to care about the poor bastards.
I don�t have to pretend.
Uh, Deb, you did a...
You did a beautiful job � the table looks� just great.
Thanks, Keith.
You know, Jules� Deb and Keith have always been very close.
They have a very special relationship.
Not just in-laws, more� loving!
Hopefully, you and I can carry on the tradition.
Geez, Dan.
Put it away and help me with desert.
Sure, but first a toast.
To Jules and Keith.
And to honesty.
The foundation of every good relationship.
Look at these people.
They all know what they want and� they manage to find it.
Makes me kinda jealous.
Okay, maybe not them.
You probably think I�m weird, huh?
Well, yeah.
But I�ve thought that since I first met ya.
It�s just that� You like girls, or you like guys.
Trust me, I wish it was like that for me.
Be a lot easier if I could just� pick a team.
Well, not necessarily.
Look, maybe you shouldn�t� feel so much pressure to define yourself.
So� are you gonna take this HCM test, or what?
Your mom tracked me down.
Look, Luke, for selfish reasons � I think you should.
I mean, as far as friends go, you�re all I�ve got.
I can�t risk losing you.
But what if it was your mom that was supposed to take this test?
She�s the only mom you�ve got.
Would you let her take that for granted?
No, I do not have time right now.
And just because we�re dating does not mean that you get a sexual season pass.
What�s going on?
I promised the other Crabs I�d figure out a way to make things better at work so I�m gonna look up dirt on this Carl guy.
That, or you could go after him legally.
How do you mean?
Try looking on the state employment website.
I mean, a guy like that�s bound to be breaking some type of small business law.
I�ll get us some coffee and we can work all night.
You�re gonna help me?
Of course, Brooke.
You�re my girlfriend.
Thanks.
Besides, I�d have to if we�re ever gonna have sex again.
Just kidding.
Those trophies are all for first place.
Expect that one.
Second place.
My junior year against Malpilot.
We would have won the game too� except the team tried to change the offence in mid-play.
Is that what this dinner was all about?
The dinner to remind you who you�re working for.
I pay you; I give you a place it live.
In exchange, you do exactly what I say.
I don�t wanna do this anymore!
I love Keith.
You know, I�m as romantic as the next guy � and ordinarily, I�d let you guys ride off into the sunset together� but you told my son.
He found out!
Well, from now on, you leave Lucas to me.
Your only job is to finish what we started.
Come on, Jules.
It�d be different if you were gonna spend the rest of your life with him.
Do you really think Keith would forgive you if he knew the truth?
Hey.
Sorry about your hair.
Sorry I slept with your husband.
If it�s any consolation, I�m not that memorable.
Okay, that�s a lie.
What am I gonna do, Taylor?
Hang in there, eventually, he�ll forget about me.
No, I�m serious.
I love Nathan and this is all really confusing.
Because you kissed Chris?
No.
Because I�m� just jealous of what Chris has!
You know, his music; the freedom to pursue his dream� and that� kiss just made it a lot messier.
I really don�t know what to do.
I am� the wrong girl to ask for advice.
You wanna know why I really got the tattoo?
When the scorpion�s caught in a fire, it stings itself to death.
That�s a myth, actually.
Not in my life.
When things get bad, I always� find a way to make them worse.
Truth is, Hay, you�ve always been miles ahead of me.
And most of the time, I feel like the little sister.
You�ll do the right thing, Haley-bub...
you always do.
Hey, Luke.
What�re you doing here?
Nah, I just� wanted to see how you�re doing.
Well actually I�m...
I�m glad you stopped by.
Something happened tonight; with Jules.
I asked her to marry me.
Hey, don�t look so worried.
She said yes.
That�s great.
What are you standing around here for?
Get back to work!
Oh, we will, soon as you agree to our list of demands.
Demands?
What is this?
I�ve been doing some research.
It turns out that uniform maintenance can not be deducted from our hourly wages.
And these crab suits are not flame retardant which is a violation of O.S.H.A.
O.S.H.A?
Trust me.
And there is plenty more where that came from.
We are not singing our Crabby songs until you comply.
Oh, okay, you win.
Turn in your crabby suits.
You�re all fired!
I can snap my fingers, and get crabs whenever I want to.
Okay.
Girls, here you go.
That�s for you.
And you.
That�s for you.
And what the hell is this?
Well, since you�ve fired us, you�ve given us plenty of time to pick it.
And...
what do the signs say?
Nothing your entire crab staff doesn�t already know; that your so-called �fresh crabs� aren�t fresh at all.
They�re frozen.
Now girls!
That�s a lie.
Really?
They�re supposed to be flown in daily; from Alaska.
They come in on a truck� from Jersey.
Listen, you can�t prove any of it!
Oh, really?
In the case of �Carl�s Famous Crab Bisk� � you use imitation crab!
Okay...
Negotiate.
A dollar more per hour per crab.
Right, fine!
Two fifteen minute breaks.
One!
Hey, Marls, did I say two� twenty minute breaks?
Yep.
You said fifteen.
Alright, two.
Get rid of the signs and you�ve got a deal.
Damn crabs.
Hey, how�d it go?
We won!
So, what�s gonna be your first act as an organised crab?
Actually, I quit.
Seriously?
Yeah.
I put in my two weeks notice because by then, I�ll have enough money to pay my car insurance� and as it turns out, I�m not so big on the working thing.
Felt really good to do something nice for the little guy though.
Well, you must be pretty tired.
How bout you get some rest, and I�ll come by later.
How bout you get some rest with me now, boyfriend?
So what d�ya think about your uncle being engaged?
Honestly, I think it�s a little fast.
Ah, well, you know, this HCM thing� it reminded me that, you know, every day might be the last and that� I wanna live them all with Jules.
I know, but� I mean, what do you really know about her?
You know, I know that you wanted me to marry your mom.
But� life doesn�t always work according to plan and I had to move on, you know.
I don�t wanna miss a second chance.
And trust me, once you get to know Jules, you�re gonna love her just as much as I do.
You know, I�m glad you�re taking the test, Luke.
Well, like you said; for my mom, right?
Look, before we go in, there�s something I wanna ask ya.
I know this whole thing is still� sinking in� but it would mean a lot to me if you�d be my best man.
Sure.
Alright.
Mom?
I don�t agree with your decision.
I don�t understand.
And I�m not going to.
I took the test.
We�ll know in a couple of days.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What d�ya want?
You and I are the only ones who know the truth about Jules� and I�m willing to keep it a secret...
Keith never has to know.
What d�ya want from me?
I�m sure we can work something out.
Synchro: Amariss www.forom.com -