Émission TV: American Dad! - 1x20

American Dad "Roger N' Me" www.forom.com Synchronisation by Kemar Transcript by Raceman Okay, Frank, let's see how well you know your buddy Dennis.
What is his favorite wattage of light bulb?
Seventy-five?
Ooh, sorry.
The answer is 60.
Seventy-five?!
What the hell?!
That clip was provided by the fun new game show Best Buddiez!
That's right, Greg.
And next week, Best Buddiez!
is taping right here in Langley Falls with a grand prize of $200,000.
And your favorite anchor-partners are gonna be contestants.
Because after all, we are just buddies...
according to the government.
And Terry's father.
I need a best buddy.
All right, I'm packed and ready to party!
Party time!
Enjoy your last look at my ass, 'cause I'm gonna party it off!
I'm going to my best friend Bobo Peterson's bachelor party in Atlantic City.
You got a best buddy?!
Can I be your second best buddy?
Let's see, how do I hang an air freshener on this?
You are a total waste of space, I often dream of killing you.
Ah, Mountain Pine.
Ooh, I almost forget Bobo's gag gift.
Oh, God, is little Roggie gonna cry?
Because if you are, I'll put on some Edie Brickell and join you.
Oh, good, Stan hasn't left for the bachelor party.
Just want to put a few things in his suitcase.
Our wedding photo, Steve's first pine cone turkey, a pamphlet on full-blown aids.
Stan might be an unsensitive feelings' hurter, but he'd never cheat on you.
It's not Stan i'm worried about.
It's the female "entertainment" I don't trust.
Men throw a little cash at 'em, they'll do anything.
Then sometimes when you're on the floor with another girl, guys'll throw money, then pick it up and throw the same singles out there again.
Like I'm an idiot.
Like I don't have peripheral vision.
Hey, if you want, I could go along and keep an eye on Stan.
It'd be the perfect chance for us to bond.
Come on Roger, he'd never let you go.
Oh, I can be very persuasive.
Surprise!
Look in your heart!
I'm praying to you!
Look in your heart!
You can't do this.
It's not right.
It's a wrong situation.
I couldn't help it, it's my nature.
Somebody hands me an angle, I play it.
I don't deserve to die for that!
Do you think I do?
This is not us!
This is some hop dream!
I'm praying to you!
I can't die!
I can't die out here in the woods!
What the hell are you talking about?
It's from my favorite movie, Miller's Crossing.
Bravo, Joel and Ethan Coen.
I mean, there are some proud parents, huh?
Some nachas for the Coens?
Hurry up.
That's the fifth pair you've tried on.
I want to see how my boy goods look in yellow.
Oh, yeah.
Sold and...
sold.
Hey, Trudy.
Oh, hi...
It's Steve.
I spend a lot of time by the senior lockers staring at you.
Oh, well, it's nice bumping into you.
I'm gonna wear these out.
You go to Georgetown?
I'm a Women's Studies major at Groff Community College.
I know Groff.
That's the school my retarded cousin took classes at.
I'm Hayley.
I'm Miles.
You know, maybe we could go out some...
Well, nice meeting you.
Did you see that?
Miles and I had a total connection.
Yeah, so did me and Trudy.
Miles would be so much happier with me.
What do you say we give them a little nudge towards happiness?
You mean...
Break them up?
Mm-hmm.
For their own good.
For their own good.
Bachelor party!
Let's kill some hookers!
Bobo, you crazy ol' herpes spreader!
There's Lieutenant Herpes!
Or is it Captain Herpes now?
Stan?
I haven't seen you since college.
What are you doing here?
What do you mean?
I'm here for my best friend's bachelor party!
I got your eVite.
My secretary must have accidentally sent that. "
Accidentally sent..."
Get outta here, you crazy ol' herpes spreader.
Will you please stop calling me that?
Oh, I got you a present.
It's an Asian sex doll.
Huh, remember in college?
You were always talking about climbing the Great Wall of Vagina?
Uh, Stan...
this is my future father-in-law, Reverend Hideki Obayashi.
I don't understand.
I thought Bobo and I were friends.
How could someone have changed so much in 22 years?
Come on, Stan.
I mean...
Mr.
Moskowitz.
You and I can still do it all.
Cheer up, Stan.
Hey, watch this.
So, uh, driver, you been doing this for a long time?
Actually, my wife and I just move out...
There he is.
Hey, watch this, watch this.
Think we can get two?
Sorry, my finger hit the button by accident.
What were you saying?
Oh, that's okay.
I was saying, when my wife and I first move...
Don't stop me 'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies like a tiger Defying the laws of gravity I'm burning through the skies Yeah!
Two hundred degrees That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I'm trav'ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic man of you Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball Don't stop me now If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call Don't stop me now 'Cause I'm having a good time Don't stop me now Yes I'm having a good time I don't want to stop at all...
Were you able to sneak into Miles locker?
Piece of cake.
This isn't my ear ring.
How did it get in your back pocket?
I...
I don't know.
The seeds of mistrust have been sown.
This is so nice.
You know, we should buy this place.
Oh, we should totally buy this place.
That's just what i saying.
No, no.
We're gonna do it.
Absolutely, I'll move some things around.
You turn.
Are they on?
You got to turn it past twenty.
Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold.
Warm.
Who needs Bobo?
This is the, this is the greatest, best night ever.
And thanks for cheering me up.
You're a real pal.
Really?
You mean we're...
Buddies?
Are you kidding?
We're best buddies.
Best bud...
oh, my god, i need another takadi.
Hand me a takadi.
To best buds.
By Earth standards.
...why do you have to qualify it like that?
No, it's great.
It's just on my planet, best buds have a ritual where they just really connect.
Well, we-we connect.
Yeah, but i mean there's this thing that we do, and only best friends can do and it...
Bonds you for life.
Oh, let's do that!
How we, how we do that?
It's kind of a probe thing.
Well, let's go.
Uh, I don't know.
It might be a little intense, you know?
In an instant, you know everything about the other person.
I mean, it's like...
It's like having a thousand conversations at once.
Do it to me.
I...
I don't want to mess things up.
How would this mess things up, it's only gonna make things better.
You think so?
I-I do.
I really do.
Well...
Okay!
Let's do this.
Oh...
wait, you know...
...you know, this maybe a little too, uh...
Oh, say, can you see...
Hi.
What time is it?
I don't know.
Early.
Dressed already?
Where you going?
I was, uh...
uh, gonna, gonna get some coffee.
Oh, sounds like heaven.
Hey, I'm also a little nibbly nib.
You want to grab some brunch?
Uh, we should, we should probably just head on home.
Could I, uh, have my shirt back?
Oh, boo.
It's so comfy.
Tell you what, why don't I give it back to you after I wash it?
I gotta admit, I was nervous about going there last night, but you were right, we were totally ready.
Kind of like how you were ready for sleep-away camp in third grade, even though you cried in the car, all the way there.
How do you know that?
Well, I know all your memories now, just like you know all mine, right?
I don't know anything anymore.
Huh.
You didn't get any of my memories?
That's weird.
Must be an alien thing.
Aaaah.
Last night was spectacular.
I am super-glad we did that.
Don't fill up, I'm making stuffed game hens for dinner.
Oh, Stan loves game hens!
Remember how Aunt Ida used to make them for you, before the arthritis?
No.
Yes, you do.
Kidder.
I didn't expect you two home so early.
Oh, Francine, it was fantastic.
Stan and I took our friendship to a whole new...
Nothing happened!
We went to the bachelor party and then went to bed.
No big whoop.
No big...
whoop?
I know it's silly, Stan, but I was so worried you'd end up doing something you'd regret.
Stan, how could you say nothing special happened?
Because I just want to forget about it, okay?
I was drunk and I made a mistake, and we're never going to talk about it again.
What are you boys whispering about?
Different types of sandwiches!
Are you sure nothing happened last night?
I told you nothing happened!
Yes...
Nothing.
Excuse me.
Thank you, Francine.
The sandwich was delicious.
So, how are the kids?
Now that the seeds of mistrust are sprouting, we must harvest them.
Hello?
Miss Lawrence, just a few questions for a fitness survey.
Where do you typically work out?
At the gym.
Good.
And where is it located?
About three miles north of here.
After you work out, how do you relax?
I get a massage.
And when your car is not in "drive," it's in...
Park.
And if you're from Brazil, you're...
You're Brazilian!
Look, is this a crank call?
Hold, please.
I can't wait around.
I'm leaving to meet...
Did you get it?
Got it.
Please leave a message.
Hello...
Jim.
Who's Jim?
I can't wait...
to massage...
your...
Brazilian...
crank.
Meet me...
at...
3:00...
at the "West End."
of the...
park.
I'm leaving...
Miles.
She's must've dialed my number by mistake.
She's cheating on me!
Roger, what's going on with Stan?
He's been acting very nervous and secretive.
You can add distant and hurtful to that list.
Something happened in Atlantic City, didn't it?
No...
Roger, look at me!
What happened in Atlantic City?!
Why don't you ask your husband?
I'll thank you to leave now!
Stan Smith.
Hello?
Roger, I know it's you.
I can hear your humidifier.
Whatcha doin'?
Stop calling me here!
We need to talk about Atlantic City.
Francine's asking questions, and I don't know what to tell her.
Tell her nothing!
Look, I have work to do.
Don't hang up!
I will not be ignored, Stan!
I'll come down there!
Oh, yeah, I'll come down there and I will make such a scene!
Okay, okay, just calm down.
Remember, I'm your buddy.
Are you?!
'Cause you're not acting like it!
Look, meet me in the parking lot behind Big Buy, and whatever you do, don't say anything to Francine.
Oh, I will find out what happened in Atlantic City, I guarantee you that.
Ooh!
Can I help?
How could you help?
You're a fish.
Oh, okay.
Could you just press "play" on that boom box on your way out?
Edie Brickell : I quit.
I give up.
Nothing's good enough for anybody else I'm assuming this is going to go well, so I got us hot wings.
There's $10,000 in this briefcase.
We're buying that hotel!
Oh, Staniel!
Get off me!
The money's for you to get a new start somewhere.
You're paying me to go away?!
You bastard!
You pushed me into this!
I told you it would ruin our friendship, but you said : "No, let's go, do it to me!"
So I gave myself to you.
Why the hell can't you just let this go?!
Because you were my first!
I had no idea.
I wanted a buddy, but now I never want to see you again!
You were supposed to come after me!
What?
You crazy psycho-bitch!
Leave me alone!
This conversation isn't over!
Yes, it is!
Try to get rid of me...
I'll kill us both!
What the hell was that?
I'm not hurt!
It's a miracle!
I think you're still on top of it.
Back up.
Oh, my God!
I hit Francine!
We should probably leave a note.
Hello, I'm Dr.
Gupta.
Yes, I'm a woman.
I suppose you have a problem with that.
Uh, no.
Is my wife gonna be okay?
Are you questioning my competence?
No, I'm just concerned about my wife.
Really?
'Cause the way you're looking at me, it seems like you're concerned with something else.
There.