Émission TV: Futurama - 12x6

♪ curious music playing ♪ ♪ theme song playing ♪ ♪ soap opera organ playing ♪ [tower rumbling] ♪ ROBOT OFFICIANT: Do you, Boxy, take this air conditioner to be your lawfully wedded...
CALCULON: You can't go through with it, Boxy!
For she is...
your sister!
[all gasp] ♪ dramatic organ sting ♪ And my sister!
♪ dramatic sting ♪ OFFICIANT: And my wife!
[screaming] [crash] HUMAN FRIEND: And my air conditioner!
[Monique gasps] [crash] [crew groans] [glass shatters] [grunting] Ah, there you are.
Behold!
[rumbling, thud] ♪ dramatic sting ♪ What the name of my ass is going on here?
The Academy of Inventors' Annual Competition is approaching.
So I've created the world's most powerful sewing machine!
That is an amazing invention!
This isn't the invention, you boob.
Let me just activate it using my footnological marvel, the toe-longer.
It's glorious!
That's not the invention either.
Stop guessing.
[smack] [Zoidberg yelps] ♪ dramatic sting ♪ [sewing machine whirring] The theme of the competition is recycling, so I'm attempting to recycle old human parts into a new, environmentally friendly human.
Hyello, Mr.
Professorvich.
Very extremely good catch for you today.
Luckily was big railroad accident.
PROFESSOR: I'll take a pound and a half of hand.
[whirring] Wow.
Is that a flat-lock seam?
Why, thank you for noticing, Amy.
It looks elegant and minimizes blood loss.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪ Now, the easy part.
[electricity crackles] [thunder cracks] [gust blows] [fizzling] ♪ horror sting ♪ [all scream] ♪ dramatic crescendo ♪ [squishy scratching] Voilà!
Um, Professor, most people have a head.
Sure, the "in crowd."
Look, you've come this far.
You don't wanna lose the contest over a few style points.
Fine, fine.
Let's fancy it up with a head.
The head is the part with the teeth and the sneeze-hole, right?
♪ upbeat music playing ♪ Any of you presidents need a body?
Can it hit a no-look jump shot?
Uh, sure.
Then why does it need me?
[laughter] Good one, Mommy.
Whoa!
The gallery of supermodels!
Ugh.
Okay, but remember.
Their eyes are up here.
♪ glamorous music playing ♪ Um, do any of you lovely...
lady...
people...
Uh...
Oof!
[thud] Which of you indistinguishable human heads wants a body?
Well, is it tall?
I miss doing runway shows and intimidating short people.
The left side's pretty tall.
Trust me, it's attractive.
It's got thick, luxurious hair all over the place, and several legs that just won't quit.
And one that will.
MODEL HEAD: I'll do it.
♪ hopeful music playing ♪ Really?
Of course, dear.
It's not the body.
It's how you wear it.
[gasps] That's Cara Delevingne!
She invented eyebrows.
♪ upbeat music playing ♪ [squishing] And...
finished!
[scoffs] Oh no.
This won't do.
That's the only head we got.
I mean what I'm wearing.
I'm sorry, Cara, but due to your various and unusual proportions, no clothing will ever fit you.
There's just no possible way to-- I've got it!
[whirring, clanking] Simply step into my 3D clothing scanner.
[heavy footsteps] You didn't need that hind leg anyway.
Now, we'll take your exact measurements...
Good Lord!
[beeping] Encode them in a strand of RNA...
[bell dings] Inject it into a giant Bolivian silkworm...
[high-pitched yelp] Let it spin its cocoon.
And six weeks later...
Presto!
We have a custom-fitted silk garment.
Thanks, but it's a little Soviet brutalist for me.
Well, that's because you're looking at the wrong side.
♪ majestic flourish ♪ [gasps] This is spectacular.
I never expected to love something so much that was excreted from a moth.
♪ bright music playing ♪ Scientists and scienticians, I'm proud to present the finalists for this year's Inventors' Award.
First up, Dr.
Bubblegum Tate and his postdoctoral fellow, Sweet Clyde Dixon.
Dr.
Dixon and I have devised a way to generate clean power from the billions of basketballs discarded each year by the Big Twelve.
♪ inspiring music playing ♪ [ball whooshing] [glove humming] [zap] Ah!
[shoes squeaking] [applause] Next up, last year's winner, Professor Ogden Wernstrom.
Wernstrom!
[beeping] Discarded doomsday devices pose a grave environmental risk.
So I've invented a way of reprogramming them into lovable companions for the elderly.
[dog whimpering] ALL: Aw!
Come along, Explodey.
[panting] [audience applauds] And last up...
[explosion] [Wernstrom screams] Professor Hubert J.
Farnsworth.
Colleagues, you witness history tonight.
The technology to recycle the dead back to semi-normal life!
♪ soft music playing ♪ [shocked exclamations] [neck cracks] It's a scientific leap for humanity!
Questions?
Who made that dress?
It's fabulous!
Did you not hear what I said?
I brought a human back to life!
But that gown brings sexy back to science!
Are there any questions about my invention and not the damn dress?
And now, to announce the winner.
In the spirit of recycling, we're reusing last year's envelope.
And the winner was...
Ogden Wernstrom!
[applause] [sighs] ♪ melancholy music playing ♪ [shutters snapping] Cara, over here.
Show us the dress!
Oh, what's going on?
The photon pressure is knocking me over.
Who are you wearing?
You look incredible!
It's a brand-new designer.
The Professor.
Uh-whuh...
[echoing shutter snap] ♪ melancholy music playing ♪ All my life, I've pursued my first love, science.
But my career has come to naught.
It's time to admit I should've pursued my first love.
Fashion.
♪ upbeat glamorous music playing ♪ Oh, my!
That'll look better on me.
♪ ♪ upbeat stylish music playing ♪ [cat meows] I've got a midlife crisis ponytail for a Hubert Farnsworth?
It's pronounced "Hugh-bear."
It is?
Woo!
Gorgeous!
Like a desiccated Zac Posen.
Hugh-bear, I'm going to make you a star.
I've made a few calls.
You're on a magazine cover, baby!
Oh my!
I'm on the cover of Vague!
My mother would be so confused.
[doorbell rings] It's Gladys Lennox, the world-famous paramecium!
Star of Mitosis, Lies, and Videotape!
Is there something we can help you with, Ms.
Lennox?
GLADYS: I saw the dress you made, and I must have one.
I just love the stitch work.
Thank you.
It's holding my neck on.
Cara's one of a kind, not like those mass-produced Frankensteins you see nowadays.
GLADYS: Being boneless, clothing never fits me.
It's like trying to put pants on a waterbed.
I once got the pants off a waterbed, but that's a very long, very dirty story.
[laughs] I can make you an outfit, Ms.
Lennox, but it's a slow, meticulous process.
Also expensive.
GLADYS: Money's no object.
I have contractile vacuoles full of it.
Gol'durned cytoplasm.
[zapping] Yeah, that's it.
Make sweet asexual love to the scanner.
No, don't shake your moneymaker!
Give me less of that!
Don't work it, baby!
♪ lively music playing ♪ [crowd cheering] Ooh, I want to give myself an award for looking at that dress.
Who are you wearing, Gladys?
GLADYS: Oh, what, this little thing?
It's from the House of Professor.
Get me the Professor!
Get me The Professor!
[beep beep] the Professor!
♪ lively music playing ♪ [shutters snapping] Tim Gunn here at Milan Fashion Week.
Today, the hot new old designer whose name is on everyone's silicone-filled lips, Hugh-bear Farnts-virt.
[shutters snapping] Please, no photons.
[indistinct chatter] [knocking] Two minutes!
I-I-I'm so nervous!
And I can barely move in these high-heeled slippers.
How am I supposed to walk Marcelle?
[slurping] Not to worry.
Zoidberg will walk your leggy snake.
[Marcelle hisses] [Zoidberg hisses] ♪ intense music playing ♪ Welcome to the fashion event of the millennium.
We call it Haute Cocoon, by The Professor.
Enjoy.
[audience oohing and aahing] [applause] [cheering] [shutters snapping] [sighs] Shock me back to life with a defibrillator because I am dead.
♪ muffled music blasting ♪ I'm Zoidberg.
I'm on the list.
Sorry, we're full.
The anteater can come in though.
But I'm on the list!
Right there!
[pen scratching] Now you're not.
You're dressed like some sort of underpaid lobster doctor from outer space.
But I can't afford nicer clothings!
Then beat it.
♪ somber music playing ♪ [sniffles] I've never felt so worthless.
I'll just throw myself in the garbage.
[grunts] You can't come in our dumpster what looking like that.
Not during Fashion Week.
♪ electronic music playing ♪ [cheering and applause] [cork pops] You're a hit, Professor!
You'll be invited to every party, every soirée, every orgy.
And I'll stay home napping.
Who's gonna stop me?
♪ dramatic music playing ♪ LEELA: Zoidberg!
What are you doing?
Jumping!
[gasps] [monotone] No, stop.
You don't get it!
Your fabulous clothing just makes the other 99% of us sad and jealous.
♪ somber music playing ♪ [sniffles] I'm sick of dressing in factory reject chef's jackets and children's flip-flops!
Goodbye, fancy friends.
♪ dramatic sting ♪ Noooooo!
[monotone] Don't do it.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪ Zoidberg!
Don't kill yourself!
What?
No!
I'm just going underwater, where the fashion standards are lower.
Excuse me, the fashion standards aren't lower.
Why, look at the flat-lock seam on my clam shells.
[groans] [gurgling] ♪ somber music playing ♪ [footsteps squelching] [door opens, shuts] Professor, when you started your line, you were proud the clothes could fit anyone.
But it's only the wealthy who can enjoy them.
I feel for you, Zoidberg, but there's simply no way to mass-produce my cocoon patterns.
And moth chow isn't free.
[chomping] But, isn't the difference between couture and ready-to-wear just a matter of technology?
Uh, well, I suppose it is.
You know, I've never told anyone this, but it's been my lifelong dream to be a famous scientist.
Perhaps I could use science to bring fashion to the masses.
But no, I'm afraid it's completely...
[echoing] Eureka!
Bender, hand me that hat from my new October line.
[evil cackle] ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ [fluttering] Fly!
Fly, my pretties!
[evil cackle echoing] ♪ bright jazzy music playing ♪ Welcome to Good Morning Tonight.
Or as I like to say, good mornight.
[laughs] I will destroy you and your entire species if you continue to combine those words!
This mornight, we have a very special guest in the studio.
Legendary fashion designer, Hugh-bear Farntsvirt.
[applause] ♪ upbeat music playing ♪ Morbo has heard through his earpiece that this wrinkly human now offers a clothing line for a broader audience.
Indeed, I do.
You see, I've created a variant on the giant moth I use for my couture line.
[squishing] For a low monthly price, you get a hangar moth for your closet.
And it extrudes a bespoke tailored outfit every day.
They're essentially high-speed 3D silk printers.
Morbo demands a demonstration!
♪ bright jazzy music playing ♪ [slithering] This just in.
I look fabulous!
These slacks really flatter Morbo's pulsating buttocks.
How do I wash them?!
Oh, no need to wash anything.
The outfits fall apart after one day's use, but they'd be out of fashion by then anyway.
Each night, just dispose of them in my patented fash-can.
[mysterious whirring] [whoosh] It's fast-fashion at its fastiest!
Where do the clothes go?
Who knows?
Who cares?
Tell us, Professor Farntsvirt, how can our viewers get your new clothing line?
Just leave the window open and the light on.
♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪ ♪ Hands up and touch the sky ♪ ♪ Can't stop 'cause we're so high ♪ ♪ Let's do this one more time ♪ ♪ Starships were meant to fly ♪ ♪ Hands up and touch the sky ♪ ♪ Let's do this one last time ♪ ♪ Can't stop, we're higher than ♪ ♪ ♪ music fades out ♪ Great look, Zoidberg.
Very today.
Thank you.
Though to be honest, I liked yesterday's even better.
Would it be possible to get those pants back?
No!
ZOIDBERG: They made my hips look like I had hips, but I threw them in the fash-can.
Forget it.
Yesterday's pants are completely out of date.
Hugh-bear, Zoidberg knows what he likes, and that means he has something even better than fashion.
He has style.
Uh-whuh?
Plus, isn't it more environmental to wear a piece of clothing twice before you throw it away?
[vortex whirring] I would gladly crawl in after them, but I can't fit in the fash-can.
Anything can fit!
The fash-can is a multi-dimensional wormhole through space and time and probably some other things.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Jessica.
Oh, Jessica!
[heavy footsteps] Go on, girl.
Get your peanut.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪ [Jessica trumpets] [deep whoosh] Professor!
That's horrible!
Relax.
I get a new pet every day to go with my outfits.
That's slightly worse!
It's simply too dangerous to pass through a trillion-light-year wormhole for a pair of pants.
Why, the temporal distortion alone could render you...
[mysterious whirring, beeping] Whoa!
That's what I was gonna say.
We're coming out of the wormhole.
[gasps] There's a planet ahead!
♪ mysterious music playing ♪ [clothes flapping] [ship roaring] AMY: Shmoly moly!
If any civilization was here, it's been smothered by the Professor's clothes.
The devastation is too much.
It's beyond comprehension.
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪ My pants!
♪ fantastical music playing ♪ [thunder cracking] [beeping] Alright.
Let's snag Zoidberg's pants and get outta here.
Bender, deploy the space hooker.
Deploy her?
I barely know her!
[cackling] Ah, just kidding.
I'm a regular customer.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪ [thunder rumbling] It's a total shirt storm!
What do we do?
Panic?
[thudding] [engines powering down] [beeping] LEELA: A flock of Canadian bras got sucked into the engine!
We'll have to crash-land!
[all screaming] [soft, gentle bumping] And we're fine.
I believe we were spared for one reason, and one reason only.
To save Zoidberg's pants.
Come on!
[wind howling] [fluttering] Wuzzat?
FRY: Moths!
Huge ones!
They must be feasting on high-protein sportswear.
Actually, it's not the moths that eat clothes.
It's the caterpillars.
People don't know that because they're tiny and hard to see.
[rumbling] [crew screaming] [ferocious roar] ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ [rumbling] [roaring] [peaceful chomping] And we're fine.
What's this metal thing we're cowering behind?
Some sort of abandoned structure.
The Professor really did destroy a civilization!
It's history's most brutal crime of fashion.
Ah, my pants!
There, in that pile of crisp whites!
Oh, to wear them just once more.
♪ dramatic sting ♪ [screeching, roaring] [Zoidberg yelps] The Professor's garbage pets!
Run for your lives!
No!
I am a professional fashion model.
We do not run.
We strut.
And we do not leave our comrades' fallen pants behind.
Sounds good!
We'll meet you in the ship.
And by meet you, I mean ditch you.
[Bender panting] ♪ tense music playing ♪ [cat yowling] Cara, look out!
[cat screeches] [grunting] ♪ dramatic sting ♪ Ah!
Hiya!
[yowls] ♪ electric guitar riff ♪ Everybody on board before we get buried!
♪ [Zoidberg and Cara panting] Jump!
[both grunt] Ah!
Hang on!
You'll be okay!
But my grip is crumpling the pants!
So I'll iron them!
No!
The material's too cheap!
It won't stand up to even the lowest setting.
I'll wear them wrinkled!
I can pull it off!
Don't be a fool!
What is one life against a completely decent pair of pants?
[gasps] Goodbye.
Cara, no!
♪ somber music playing ♪ [sobbing] [vortex whirring] ♪ dramatic sting ♪ Oh, good!
You're back!
I can toss yesterday's conquistador ensemble without damaging the ship.
[vortex whirring] Stop!
We saw where the clothes are going!
You've wiped out an entire planet!
Wiped out, you say?
Well, if everyone is already dead, I don't see the problem.
Someone might still be alive under all those vegan leather pants!
Those are not breathable!
You gotta do something!
[sighs] Very well.
The ship's log should hold the space-time coordinates of the planet you came from.
I'll send them a jaws of life or something.
[beeping] Aah!
What is it?
Something surprising?
The planet you went to was...
was...
[beeping] Earth!
♪ dramatic sting ♪ But that's our planet, right?
And we're not buried under miles of laundry.
Don't you see, you imbecile?
No, sir, I'm afraid I don't.
It's Earth in the future!
We sent the clothes...
to our own future!
♪ bleak music playing ♪ [wind blowing] [gasps] ♪ dramatic sting ♪ You finally did it, you fast-fashionistas!
Damn you all to TJ Maxx!
What kind of world have we left for our children?
Or their children?
Or their children's children?
Wait.
How into the future did we send the clothes?
What time is it?
[thunder cracking] ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ [vortex whirring] [clothes fluttering] ♪ eerie crescendo ♪ ♪