Émission TV: Chuck - 1x3
tehran,iran Not very good Terrible use of color madrid barajas airport two weeks later This looks like it was painted by a five year-old miller art gallery downtown los angeles your money's on the desk.
what a piece of crap.
one month later northeast los angeles Please...please don't shoot;don't shoot me.
Just put the gun down.
Gently.
I can't shoot.
That's the problem.
The stupid thingis busted.
Well,when it comesto mr.Bartowski,my friend,busted is just a state of mind.
Opening this puppy up.
reconfigure that.
And ta-da--locked and loaded.
Try that.
nice shot.
See?
Chuck,big mikewants to see you.
Not now,harry.
Can't you seeI'm with a customer?
I apologize,sir.
This is not normallyhow we do things at buy more.
Now,chuck!
I was just on my wayto see you-- that's crazy.
Pause that.
bartowski,what is itthat you want out of life?
You mean,existentially--like,fulfillment,inner peace,that kind of a thing?
Or are we talkingmore practically,like,lakers tickets,personal steam room...
we're talking buy more.
Career objectives.
Where do you see yourselfin five years,ten years?
Honestly?
Honestly.
I have absolutely no idea.
Well,then it's timeyou started to think about it.
As you know,there's an assistantmanagement position open.
It's down to youand harry tang.
Now,you want that job or not?
I do,I do.
Uh,I'm sorry,big mike.
I absolutely want that job.
Well,then,bartowski,it's your turnto show me something.
I got some bad news.
Big mike wants us tofix all of this junk in two days, or he's going to give the assistant store managerposition to tang.
I'm sorry,guys.
And anna.
Guys is fine.
I don't mind.
No,it's not right.
We need to come up withsomething non-gender specific.
How do we feel about team?
The little nerd herders?
The lesters?
Chuck's stable of hos.
Hey...
Oh,man,uh,heard big mikethrew down the gauntlet.
Wanted to come byand say I'd love to help.
But,a: I lackthe skill set,and B.Old computersgive me the willies.
You have no idea how much courage it's takenjust to stand here.
I'm really proudof you,buddy.
Thanks,bro.
I bring you news.
What?
Your lady's here.
And if I'm not oversteppingmy bounds,looking good.
Hey.
Hey.
Give me a kiss.
I'm sorry.
What?
We've been onthree dates.
We have to sell it.
That's it?
I'm not really goodwith pda.
Well,let's gosomewhere more private.
Shall we?
Okay,he is so in.
This is...
hey.
Okay,whoa!
Why don'twe give the kids a little privacy?
not cool.
Sorry to break upyour little tryst.
Next time you needto talk to the subject,I'd appreciatea heads up.
Relax.
I wouldn't dream of starting without you,agent casey.
Mom,dad,can we get on with it?
I have hard drivesto fix.
Why are these people sleeping?
Casey: They're notsleeping.
They werekilled,chuck,and we want to know why.
I have no idea.
Well,look again.
I would rather not.
It's kind of creepy.
Sorry.
I was goingto take a nap.
I'll come back in five.
Kind of called dibs on the couch?
Chuck,what did you see?
Um,I don'T...I'm not...
I'm not totally sure.
A water lily painting,weapons,an art auction tomorrow night.
Does the name la ciudadmean anything to you?
Why?
Because I thinkhe's going to be at the art auctiontomorrow night.
Right then.
I'm goingto go fix some hard drives.
Good luck with the spy stuff.
Excuse me.
Ellie: Chuck,I am so proud of you.
Morgan told me about theassistant management job.
Congratulations.
Team bartowski moving upin the world,huh?
okay,first of all,it's not mine yet,and second of all,you can ease upon the enthusiasm.
It's only a two dollar an hour raise at anelectronics store, and it doesn't even give memy own parking space.
Well,does your lack of interestmean that you're actually considering leaving the buy morefor a real profession?
Real profession?
Sorry.
I'm goingto need clarification on that.
He went to stanford,for god's sakes,morgan.
Right,and was unceremoniouslyexpelled sophomore year-- sorry to bring that up,champ-- butI think we need to be realistic about our goals here.
His goals or your goals?
Great question,and I think we need to hammer outa plan for chuck.
Where do we see him in five years?
Ten years?
We?
Fine.
Then just you and I.
Woman: We're glad to hear you've settled into chuck's apartment building.
But if he's right,this is a high priority.
La ciudad is the most elusive and dangerous arms dealer in the world.
And the last anyone heard,mi-6 in london had a drop on him,but he vanished.
Well,if he turns up,we'll justtake him down at the auction.
Man: Not so easy.
We have no idea whathe looks like,no photographs.
No one has ever seen la ciudadthat has lived to tell about it.
So we'll bringthe intersect.
Everything you knowabout la ciudad was fed into that computer.
No way.
It is too dangerous.
He has no field experienceor training.
He'll be fine.
It's an art auction.
Morgan: Listen to me-- it isway to scary out there.
Chuck can't leavethe buy more.
We're stillfinding ourselves.
Ellie: No offense,morgan,but I think my brother has spent quitea few years finding himself, and he's definitely proventhat his place in life is not at the buy more.
Morgan:You don't understand.
He is a fragilelittle gelding.
You know,still tryingto find his legs.
The real world will crush him.
Do you knowwhat a gelding is?
it's the...
that weird creaturefrom the dark crystal.
Smells like gelding.
That-that guy.
He'll be fine.
La ciudad probablywon't even be there.
And if he is,is it worth the risk?
All right,I've heard enough.
Put him in the field.
We don't know what he's capable of until he's been tested.
What he needs issomething to challenge him.
To test hislimitations.
A brush withhis own mortality.
You know what I'm thinking?
I have no ideawhat you're thinking.
As far as I'm concerned,dude,you're way off the reservation.
Class five whitewater rapids.
Just the two ofus this weekend.
Near-deathexperience.
Awesome!
That sounds great,but my wet suit'sat the dry cleaners.
That is a terrible idea.
That's way too dangerous.
I agree,and I am not comfortable with you guys spendingthat amount of time together.
Well,chuck hasn't said a word.
What do you want to do?
I'm just going to hit the sack.
Good night,team bartowski.
that's-that's great work,guys.
You see what you're doing here?
That's awesome.
Congratulations,chuck.
You just got your firstmission-- tomorrow night.
Hope you're readyfor the real world,huh?
So,dress attire for this evening-- uh,sneakers, or are we classifying this as more of a shoe event?
I rented you a tux.
Oh,that's very nice...
how did you know my size?
Nsa-- they have records of your rental information from prom night.
I checked the suit in your closet.
Okay,this is my first foray into major undercover spy work, so you could ease up on the sarcasm.
That would be great.
And how am I supposed to recognize la ciudad?
Is there a picture or something?
If there was a photograph,why would we need you?
What did we just talk about?
I'm sorry.
We're hoping something in the event triggers a flash.
See,that's all you had to say.
Now,uh,hand-to-hand combat-- in all seriousness, if it comes down to me and la ciudad in some fisticuffs or something,is there, like,a 20-minute tutorial you can take me through?
Don't worry.
You're going to be fine.
Nothing's going to happen to you.
Assuming you know how to tango.
Seriously?
Oh,I don't joke about your life.
Right.
Chuck,your girlfriend's here.
One minute,I have computers to fix.
Anna: Don't worry about it.
We got it.
There's only a few left.
What?
Are you sure?
It's done,but next time I have a big date,you are going to cover for me.
Okay.Great.
Thanks,team.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Thanks,team.
Where are you lovebirds headed?
We're actually going to an art auction at the wilshire grand.
Swanky!
Yeah,I like it,man.
Uh,aren't we moving a little too fast now?
Career,girl.
Guy's got it all.
The idea with a cover is to keep it as simple as possible without revealing true personal detail.
Any thoughts on a name?
Charles carmichael?
Simple,dignified.
Easy to remember and not far off from...
graduated with honors from stanford.
Runs a hugely successful software company.
Semi-retired and is considering entering america's cup.
Have you donethis before?
Let's just say,uh,mr.
Carmichael and I sharea small kinship.
How's that?
When I first entered stanford, it's kind of where I envisionedmyself being by now,except for the sailing part.
I don't really knowwhere that came from.
But he's where most of my classalready is.
So,what happened?
My life took a little detoursophomore year when our old friendbryce larkin discovered stolen testsunder my bed, and was kind enoughto alert administration.
Did you steal the tests?
I thought it was kind of impliedthat I'm a decent person.
Well,we all make mistakes.
And I made plenty.
That just wasn't one of them.
But,hey,then bryce sent mea whole database of government secretsthat are now locked in my brain, keeping me in a constant stateof fear,danger and anxiety,so I'd say we're even.
Don't worryabout tonight.
No reason tobe nervous.
I am not going toleave your side.
Me nervous?
Come on.Never.
Your hand isa little moist.
It does thatwhen I'm freaking out.
Hey,sis.
Hey,sis,um...
do you know how to tango?
No,why?
Oh,no reason.
I just,I have a date tonight.
I thought it might come up.
You're tangoing on a date?
Well,that's definitelynew territory.
It's good to see you reachingoutside of your comfort zone.
Well,consideringmy comfort zone extends to the endof that couch, new territorywas bound to come up.
Did someone say tango?
No,thank you,captain awesome,I'll look it up online.
Would you please put on something,a robe or something?
Did a semester abroadin buenos aires.
Spent many a nighttangoing my way into se�oritas' pantalones.
And...
go.
There's no way he's going to breakthe two minute record.
Ooh,there.
It's okay,sweetheart.
Lester is right here.
Sorry to interrupt.
But we found just a few moredown by the loading dock.
Where's bartowski?
On a date with a smoking hotwiener girl,no biggie.
And he left you all here?
Good leadership.
Real good.
Well,it shouldn't be too difficult to getthese done by morning.
I'll leave the coffee pot on.
done.
What are those?
Morgan,what are those?
Tank.
Here.
This is for you.
Inside the watchis a tracking system.
That way you can'trun away from me.
And if you flash on anyone,tell me immediatelyand then stay out of the way.
Absolutely,yeah.
I,uh,I always runfrom a fight.
This isn't a joke,chuck.
No one who's ever seen youhas lived to tell about it.
Is he being serious?
Seriously?
What are my chancesof getting into trouble?
Toughen up,you'll be fine...
assuming you know how to tango.
I did somepreparation,okay?
I wouldn't callmyself an expert...
why would he need to know howto tango?
Is that code?
No,not-- no,he told me thatI needed to know how to tango...
Spy humor,I like that.
Come on,you ready?
Okay,wait,wait.
Where's everybody going,huh?
We got computers to fix.
Sorry,bro,I got mybar mitzvah lesson.
Internet poker.
I'm off by 8:00and hammered by 8:05.
What about chuck bartowski?
Okay,what about our fearlessleader?
We owe him.
For what?
What?
'Cause tonight,chuck bartowski's boldly going where none of ushave ever gone before-- to have intercoursewith a beautiful woman.
Speak for yourself.
Interesting.
Interesting.
I'm out of here.
I gotta go.
Anna,could I-- anna?
Okay.
Okay,fine.
See you guys.
Big michael just gavethe position to harry tang.
Oh,have I gotyour attention now?
Good.
Good,'causeyou know what that means?
No more two-hour lunch breaks.
No more xbox tournaments.
No more porn.
Yeah,yeah.
Total work hell.
I'm in,but your boybetter close the deal.
Let's do this.
Okay,thanks a lot,lester.
Don't touch me.
I'm going to talk to youabout this whole girl thing.
Hey,jeff,atta boy,huh?
Oh,nice,yes,thank you.
Oh,nice.
I've been a spyall of five seconds and I already havesoy sauce on my shirt.
Well,go and wash it off.
And chuck,stop sayingthat you're a spy.
Right,of course.
Idiot.
Do we know each other?
No.
No,not that I know of.
Sorry.
It's him.
Who?
La ciudad.
Come on.
I've already identifiedthe perp,as it were,what are we still doing here?
I mean,you know,mission accomplished.
Time to go.
Chuck,go wait at the bar.
Go wait...
wait at the bar?
Okay,you go do what you do.
I'm going to beat the bar,waiting there.
Covering that whole area.
Drink,sir?
Yeah,uh...
I'd like a martini,barkeep,shaken and stirred.
Thank you.
Would you likea cherry with that?
Chuck bartowski?
No.
The name's carmichael.
Allan watterman,stanford?
Hey,hey,how are you?
Hey.Hey,you.Hey.
I'm great.
I don't knowif you heard,I sold outof my software company.
Kind of unemployed.
Problem is,I'm too young to retire.
I'm too rich to work.
that's quite a pickle you findyourself in,watterman.
What are you doing now?
Last I heard,you were,um,you were fixing computers or something?
Yeah.
You know,just kind of,uh,just kind of weighingmy options right now.
Uh,you know,I may be gettinga managerial position at an electronics conglomerate, so,you know...
all right.
Well,I always knew you'd makesomething of yourself.
Who are you here with?
Oh,my date.
She's right over there.
She's with you?
We have a very openrelationship.
Well,hey,um,give me a call.
You know,if you need helpwith the whole job thing.
I know people.
Bet you do,yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
Insider tradingand offshore accounts in the caymans.
What did you just say?
Do you work for the sec?
I got to go.
Lester: Something fishy going on.
I know you guys think chuck'sa great guy and all that, but that weiner girlis super hot.
Even for me.
It's obvious,dude.
She's a pro.
Are you kidding?
Do you think chuck couldafford her if she was a pro?
All right,you know what,guys?
Enough crapping about.
All right,break time's over,let's go.
All right,who's up fora game of deerhunter?
Done.
No,no,no,no,no.
Guys,guys,guys,work now,play later,okay?
We've got hard drives to fix.
Look at this place,come on.
Let's go.
:Oh,no.
Oh,no what?
The lock is broken,man.
You needa key to open it.
Then get the key,jeff.
There's only two keys.
Harry tang has one.
And old chuck has the other one.
Yikes.
Where are you going?
Come on,old computers freak me out!
Somebody get me-- anna help me!
John,get me out of here,please!
Hit me again.
You stay.
Stay?
Stay-- like a dog.
Woman:Beautiful painting.
What's that?
Yeah,beautiful.
Painting,yeah.
It definitely hasa quality about it.
Very,I would say,bob rossian in its influence.
Who?
Bob ross.
Bob ross,you know,bob ross.
The guy who usedto paint on pbs.
With the afro and the soothing-- you have no ideawhat I'm talking about.
Sorry.
It won't be the first time.
I'm malena.
Hi.
Chuck.
Charles.
Charles carmichael.
So you don't like the painting?
No,I-I,it seemsvery lovely.
I just more interestedin the frame,but that-- you don'T...
So sorry.
So sorry about this.
Work never leaves you alone.
I'm in thesoftware game,so...
so you were sayingabout the frame?
Nothing,it doesn't reallyactually matter,sorry.
Champagne?
Sure,yeah.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Man:What's your real name?
And who do you work for?
I love a tango.
Oh,yeah.
Who doesn't?
Do you?
Do-- oh,do I want to,uh...
you know what,what the hell.
Yeah,let's give it a shot.
What are you doing here?
Please don't lie.
It'll make thismuch more painful.
Mr.Carmichael...
please.
Chuck.
Chuck,i think your handis supposed to be on my hip.
Right.
Uh,apparently,I learned the girl'spart of this dance.
Would you mind leading?
Not at all.
Federal agent.
Don't move.
Don't you move.
Internationalagents-- mi-6.
Drop your gun!
We're britishsecret service.
Lower your weapon!
Everyone take a deep breath.
I'm puttingdown my gun,and I'm gettingmy identification.
Slowly.
What are youdoing here?
I could ask you the same thing.
We've been pursuingan arms dealer through five countries.
Let me guess.
La ciudad?
That's right.
Mi-6 intercepteda painting with plutoniumhidden in the frame.
Rather thanannounce the bust,we removedthe plutonium and kept the auction in the hopeof luring ciudad.
If you're not la ciudad,then where is he?
Whoa,whoa,whoa,okay,okay,listen to me,so,listen to me.
My friend is at some sort of artfunction at your hotel,okay?
Uh,now listento me clearly.
I need to speak to him.
It's a matter of life and death.
Describe your friend.
Morgan:He's good-looking.
You know,it depends on your angle,I suppose.
Uh,he's not classicallyhandsome.
I wouldn't say he is,you know.
But he makes up for itwith charm.
Lots of,uh...of charm.
And he's kind of a lost soul.
Does this funny little thingwhen he's nervous.
He laughs.
He goes...
he kind of does this...
uh,anyways,what,uh,what,what?
Uh,brown hair,six-one.
Does that help at all?
What,uh...
what line ofwork are you in,malena?
Why are you so interested,mr.Carmichael?
No reason.
Just making conversation.
Excuse me,sir.
Are you chuck bartowski?
Who,me?
No!
No,I'm carmichael.
Uh,that's him.
That's my...
that's my friend.
I can hear his voice.
Hey,chuck!
Are you sure you'renot mr.Bartowski?
Your friend insists.
No,no,I insist.
I've never heardthat name in my life.
I got to go.
Excuse me.
Why don't we head up tomy room now,mr.Carmichael,and find outwho you really are.
okay.
Uh,so I guess we shouldregroup in the morning?
Good idea.
No,wait,wait,wait,wait.
Where youguys going?
Dude,it's just...
it's out of my pay grade.
I got to get someserious alcohol in me or I am nevergoing to sleep.
Anna: I'm sorry,morgan.
Be strong.
No,no,come on,guys,don't leave me in herewith these computers.
You can hand me a slice,maybe some water.
I need to survivethrough the night,and I...
not cool!
Malena: Let's startwith an easy one.
What's your real name?
Carmichael,charles carmichael.
Chuck bartowski.
That wasn't so hard.
Now...
before you answermy next question, I want you to think long andhard about my options here.
There's the old favorite-- yank out a tooth.
Too noisy.
cut off a toe.
That's too messy.
Far too messy.
Or we can chuck you offthe balcony...
chuck.
Probably landface first.
Teeth go through theback of your head.
not a good way to go.
So...
here's my question: Who do you work for?
No one.
No,no,stop,stop!
I fix computersfor a living!
I swear to god!
I snuck into the partyunder a fake name to impress a girl!
Please,please,down...
put chair down!
Good-bye,chuck.
No,no,no,it's a setup!
What is?
The painting?
The painting.
The painting,I think.
I think the painting mightbe a fake or something.
Why?
If you put me downI'll tell you.
I saw a photoof the painting in the L.A.Times,okay?
But it hada different frame.
So I'm assuming somebody maybe swapped it out,I don't know.
But if I were you,I would not buy that painting.
A fake painting.
And you had no intentionof bidding on it?
Me?
Bid on...
No,not unless they wereselling it for 25 bucks.
I mean,that's about what I havein my decorating budget.
Okay,tell me howto fix a computer,chuck.
my first inclination isthat your bus speed is not up to snuff with your video card.
I'm assuming we're talking about a pc here,right?
Is your memorydedicated?
That's enough,mr.Bartowski.
I believe you.
the problem is since you've seen me,now I have to kill you.
Have...
have to,have to?
No,no,no,I disagree,I disagree...
vehemently,vehemently.
No,no,no,I won't sayanything,I swear to god.
You don't know the things I know about people.
Don't worry,it'll be fast.
Good-bye,mr.Bartowski.
I enjoyed our tango.
I didn't likeit that much.
Really?
He was kind of silly.
Oh,I kind of liked him.
Hi.
They're on to us.
The sec knows everything.
Shelly,they knowabout the caymans.
I surrender!
I surrender!
Get down,chuck.
Chuck:Sarah!
Let's do this.
oh,my god!
it's okay,chuck.
Are you okay?
Okay?Okay?
Two more seconds andI'd have been dead.
They were going tothrow me off the balcony.
Did you tell themyou work for us?
Of course not.
Where the hellwere you guys?
You're still alive.
I'd consider myself lucky.
We have to get youout of the country.
First we take him out.
Hey.
How was the big date?
It was good,great,fine.
I'm going to go to bed.
I love you.
What?
No,no,no,no.
Is that all I get?
Come on,sit down.
I want to know,you know,do you like this girl?
It'S...
you know,it's complicated.
Well,explain it to me slowly,I'll catch up.
She's a very beautiful girl.
Good.
Go on.
And she's very agile.
I'm not sure how thatapplies,but continue.
And I think she's tooexhausting for me.
Well,what happened?
Did you guys tango?
Oh,yeah,yeah.
We tangoed.
In fact,we tangoedquite a bit,but awesome taught methe woman's pa of the tango, so it was a little difficult,as one might expect.
Awesome:What's up,bro?
Did you do thefamous dip?
Yeah.
I was on thereceiving end of that dip.
You did tango witha woman,right?
And on that note...
no,no,no,no,no.
You're notgetting off that easy.
Why won't you talk to me?
It's...
it's complicated,okay?
Just let it go.
Fine.
You don't wantto talk to me, I suggest you findsomeone to talk to like maybe your idiot friend.
He's called about 75 times.
He locked himselfin a storage cage.
Whatever that means.
Oh,god!
It's you.
Dude,dude,you have no idea.
Okay,okay,okay.
Settle down,settle down,settle down.
Settle downit's all good.
It's all good.
What happened?
Oh,what happened?
Tang showed up,and he dropped all these off.
I guess he was stashingthem,you know?
So...
all right,let's do this.
What are you talking...
Morgan,you don't knowhow to fix a computer.
Moral support,man.
Never...
never leaveyour wingman,okay?
Something your team couldlearn a little something about.
Look,it's okay,man.
Go get some sleep,okay?
Are you sure?
'Cause you say the word and we go down together.
No.
I appreciate that,but I think it'll be nice to do somethingI'm actually good at, so I'll see you.
Fantastic.
I'll see you later.Good night.
Good night.
You finished,bartowski?
Mission accomplished.
Two days was meantas an incentive.
I didn't think you'd really do it.
I'm impressed.
And I'm not a maneasily impressed.
Why,I think you should know thatI only fixed the last few--my team did most of the work.
They deserve the credit.
And you're only as goodas your team,so...
first rule of management:Always take credit.
Hope we can sell all this crap.
Sir,there's beena major infraction-- drinkingalcoholic beverages on the property.
Nothing wrong with a man wetting his whistleevery once in a while.
Keep it out of thestore,bartowski.
Yeah.Yeah.
Absolutely,sir.
You get extra points for style.
Looking sharp.
You look like a waiter.
kiss-ass.
Was I scared?
Yeah.
Yeah,I was scared.
But then this survivalinstinct kicked in.
Something I didn'teven know I possessed.
A desire to live.
Good news is,I may be ableto retire off this,all right?
I talked to big mike.
I told him he'd be hearingfrom my attorney.
That cage isa major fire hazard.
Chuck.
Good work last night.
Okay,you know what?
I'm,I'm workingon an all-nighter here,big guy.
And I realize that you areprobably armed.
And so I'm gonna ask youvery nicely,would you please easeup on the sarcasm.
I wasn't being facetious.
You helped us find la ciudad.
But she got away.
Yeah,we got a photofrom hotel security.
We got a blood samplefrom a broken window.
Our intel tell usshe's heading down to central america.
We have peoplewaiting there.
You're lookin' sharp.
Yeah,thanks.
That was facetious.
Idiot.
I fixed this one personally.
So it should begood as new.
And sorry about the delay.
Chuck,hiding from work again?
I,uh,I-I thinkI dropped something.
Go away,harry!
Oh,you wish I would.
I'm not going anywhere,chuck.
When you goto sleep at night,all you're gonna seeis tang in your face.
man:Excuse,please.
Where can I finda chuck bartowski?
Why,what's he done?
Because I need to speak to him.
Okay,well,if he's in any kindof trouble,let me know.
Chuck,you have a visitor.
Chuck?
Well,uh,maybeI can help you,sir.
I think we have some company.
I'm on it.
Chuck bartowski,to the storage cage.
Chuck bartowski,pleasereport to the storage cage.
Where's the storage cage?
Oh,just throughhere,sir.
I'll show you.
by the way we are havinga big sale on refrigerators in case youdidn't notice.
Where is he?
Where is chuck bartowski?
Sir,I'm just sales clerk.
Take me to him now!
oh,you!
You big 'ol guy...
you think...
that was so broken this morning.
Now that's what I callmoving some merchandise,yeah?
Yeah.
hang here.
Uh,charles irving bartowskiof the encino bartowskis, could you please reportto the returns desk.
Charles irving bartowski...
what?
Nothing,nothing.
I'm just lovingthis thing,man.
You know what?
We should get onefor your apartment.
Oh,good news.
They fixed the lock onthe storage cage,so...
what?
I'm really sorry,sis.
I-I know that I'vebeen kind of evasive.
It's just that I...
I didn't want to lie to you and I chose notsaying anything as being the lesserof two evils.
Why would youhave to lie to me?
Ellie,I just need youto trust me and know it has nothingto do with you.
But you want me to butt out.
I get it.
It's none of my business.
No!
No,no,no,no,I'm not saying that!
I'm not saying that.
I-I...
I just don't wantto create a false senseof excitement for a relationshipthat seems doomed.
Why is it doomed?
Because she'snot into me.
Uh,trust me.
I have seen the way thatthat girl looks at you and she is into you.
Really?
It's noneof my business.
Okay,no.
Okay,fine.
What the hell.
What do you,what do you want to ask me about sarah?
Really?
You better hurry up.
This offerwill not last.
Okay.
Do you like her?
Yeah.
Da-da-da-- no,no,unnecessary excitements.
Sorry.
Sorry.
What else?
That's it.
That's it?
Yeah.
Chuck,that's it.
I don't need to know theintimate details,okay?
As long as you're happy,that's enough for me.
And I don't,I don't want to nag you about yourfuture and your job.
I don't wantto be the sister that just pestersyou into oblivion.
No,no,no,no,you're,you're not a pest.
I just know what an incredibleguy charles bartowski is and...
and sometimes I'm not so surethat he knows it.
How do you feel about a brother-sister hugsituation right now?
I'm open to it.
Okay.
oh,I'll get iT.
Sorry.
I thought we hadplans tonight,you know?
What is she doing here?
What,uh,what gave youthat impression?
Uh,when you were leavingearlier and you were,like,see you later,dude.
Took you at your word.
It's coolif you don't want me to be here;that's fine.
Just gotta stopgiving me mixed signals.
Come on in.
Super.
Awesome.
What are we having?
Here you go.
Oh,thank you.Thank you.
You okay?
Uh,occupational hazard.
She got in a lucky kick.
Congratulationson your first mission.
You did really good,chuck.
Stop it.
I'm not really a spy.
Your computer ended upin the head of a guy who only knows how to fix 'em,nothing else.
You surviveda near-death experience under the threatof torture and apprehended one of the world'smost elusive killers.
I'm not sure you what you thinkspies do exactly, but most of us wouldconsider that a pretty good day.
Okay,sure,so todayI helped take down a major internationalarms dealer, but tomorrow,tomorrow I still gotta goclock in at buy more.
I mean,what's the goodof being a hero if nobody knows about it?
You know.
And so do I.
You know,if wewere really dating,this would bethe part where I'd be forced to kissyou good night.
Forced?
Would it beso bad?
I'm sure I could sufferthrough it.
Me,too.
Man,that dudeis creepy.
Agreed.
what a piece of crap.
one month later northeast los angeles Please...please don't shoot;don't shoot me.
Just put the gun down.
Gently.
I can't shoot.
That's the problem.
The stupid thingis busted.
Well,when it comesto mr.Bartowski,my friend,busted is just a state of mind.
Opening this puppy up.
reconfigure that.
And ta-da--locked and loaded.
Try that.
nice shot.
See?
Chuck,big mikewants to see you.
Not now,harry.
Can't you seeI'm with a customer?
I apologize,sir.
This is not normallyhow we do things at buy more.
Now,chuck!
I was just on my wayto see you-- that's crazy.
Pause that.
bartowski,what is itthat you want out of life?
You mean,existentially--like,fulfillment,inner peace,that kind of a thing?
Or are we talkingmore practically,like,lakers tickets,personal steam room...
we're talking buy more.
Career objectives.
Where do you see yourselfin five years,ten years?
Honestly?
Honestly.
I have absolutely no idea.
Well,then it's timeyou started to think about it.
As you know,there's an assistantmanagement position open.
It's down to youand harry tang.
Now,you want that job or not?
I do,I do.
Uh,I'm sorry,big mike.
I absolutely want that job.
Well,then,bartowski,it's your turnto show me something.
I got some bad news.
Big mike wants us tofix all of this junk in two days, or he's going to give the assistant store managerposition to tang.
I'm sorry,guys.
And anna.
Guys is fine.
I don't mind.
No,it's not right.
We need to come up withsomething non-gender specific.
How do we feel about team?
The little nerd herders?
The lesters?
Chuck's stable of hos.
Hey...
Oh,man,uh,heard big mikethrew down the gauntlet.
Wanted to come byand say I'd love to help.
But,a: I lackthe skill set,and B.Old computersgive me the willies.
You have no idea how much courage it's takenjust to stand here.
I'm really proudof you,buddy.
Thanks,bro.
I bring you news.
What?
Your lady's here.
And if I'm not oversteppingmy bounds,looking good.
Hey.
Hey.
Give me a kiss.
I'm sorry.
What?
We've been onthree dates.
We have to sell it.
That's it?
I'm not really goodwith pda.
Well,let's gosomewhere more private.
Shall we?
Okay,he is so in.
This is...
hey.
Okay,whoa!
Why don'twe give the kids a little privacy?
not cool.
Sorry to break upyour little tryst.
Next time you needto talk to the subject,I'd appreciatea heads up.
Relax.
I wouldn't dream of starting without you,agent casey.
Mom,dad,can we get on with it?
I have hard drivesto fix.
Why are these people sleeping?
Casey: They're notsleeping.
They werekilled,chuck,and we want to know why.
I have no idea.
Well,look again.
I would rather not.
It's kind of creepy.
Sorry.
I was goingto take a nap.
I'll come back in five.
Kind of called dibs on the couch?
Chuck,what did you see?
Um,I don'T...I'm not...
I'm not totally sure.
A water lily painting,weapons,an art auction tomorrow night.
Does the name la ciudadmean anything to you?
Why?
Because I thinkhe's going to be at the art auctiontomorrow night.
Right then.
I'm goingto go fix some hard drives.
Good luck with the spy stuff.
Excuse me.
Ellie: Chuck,I am so proud of you.
Morgan told me about theassistant management job.
Congratulations.
Team bartowski moving upin the world,huh?
okay,first of all,it's not mine yet,and second of all,you can ease upon the enthusiasm.
It's only a two dollar an hour raise at anelectronics store, and it doesn't even give memy own parking space.
Well,does your lack of interestmean that you're actually considering leaving the buy morefor a real profession?
Real profession?
Sorry.
I'm goingto need clarification on that.
He went to stanford,for god's sakes,morgan.
Right,and was unceremoniouslyexpelled sophomore year-- sorry to bring that up,champ-- butI think we need to be realistic about our goals here.
His goals or your goals?
Great question,and I think we need to hammer outa plan for chuck.
Where do we see him in five years?
Ten years?
We?
Fine.
Then just you and I.
Woman: We're glad to hear you've settled into chuck's apartment building.
But if he's right,this is a high priority.
La ciudad is the most elusive and dangerous arms dealer in the world.
And the last anyone heard,mi-6 in london had a drop on him,but he vanished.
Well,if he turns up,we'll justtake him down at the auction.
Man: Not so easy.
We have no idea whathe looks like,no photographs.
No one has ever seen la ciudadthat has lived to tell about it.
So we'll bringthe intersect.
Everything you knowabout la ciudad was fed into that computer.
No way.
It is too dangerous.
He has no field experienceor training.
He'll be fine.
It's an art auction.
Morgan: Listen to me-- it isway to scary out there.
Chuck can't leavethe buy more.
We're stillfinding ourselves.
Ellie: No offense,morgan,but I think my brother has spent quitea few years finding himself, and he's definitely proventhat his place in life is not at the buy more.
Morgan:You don't understand.
He is a fragilelittle gelding.
You know,still tryingto find his legs.
The real world will crush him.
Do you knowwhat a gelding is?
it's the...
that weird creaturefrom the dark crystal.
Smells like gelding.
That-that guy.
He'll be fine.
La ciudad probablywon't even be there.
And if he is,is it worth the risk?
All right,I've heard enough.
Put him in the field.
We don't know what he's capable of until he's been tested.
What he needs issomething to challenge him.
To test hislimitations.
A brush withhis own mortality.
You know what I'm thinking?
I have no ideawhat you're thinking.
As far as I'm concerned,dude,you're way off the reservation.
Class five whitewater rapids.
Just the two ofus this weekend.
Near-deathexperience.
Awesome!
That sounds great,but my wet suit'sat the dry cleaners.
That is a terrible idea.
That's way too dangerous.
I agree,and I am not comfortable with you guys spendingthat amount of time together.
Well,chuck hasn't said a word.
What do you want to do?
I'm just going to hit the sack.
Good night,team bartowski.
that's-that's great work,guys.
You see what you're doing here?
That's awesome.
Congratulations,chuck.
You just got your firstmission-- tomorrow night.
Hope you're readyfor the real world,huh?
So,dress attire for this evening-- uh,sneakers, or are we classifying this as more of a shoe event?
I rented you a tux.
Oh,that's very nice...
how did you know my size?
Nsa-- they have records of your rental information from prom night.
I checked the suit in your closet.
Okay,this is my first foray into major undercover spy work, so you could ease up on the sarcasm.
That would be great.
And how am I supposed to recognize la ciudad?
Is there a picture or something?
If there was a photograph,why would we need you?
What did we just talk about?
I'm sorry.
We're hoping something in the event triggers a flash.
See,that's all you had to say.
Now,uh,hand-to-hand combat-- in all seriousness, if it comes down to me and la ciudad in some fisticuffs or something,is there, like,a 20-minute tutorial you can take me through?
Don't worry.
You're going to be fine.
Nothing's going to happen to you.
Assuming you know how to tango.
Seriously?
Oh,I don't joke about your life.
Right.
Chuck,your girlfriend's here.
One minute,I have computers to fix.
Anna: Don't worry about it.
We got it.
There's only a few left.
What?
Are you sure?
It's done,but next time I have a big date,you are going to cover for me.
Okay.Great.
Thanks,team.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Thanks,team.
Where are you lovebirds headed?
We're actually going to an art auction at the wilshire grand.
Swanky!
Yeah,I like it,man.
Uh,aren't we moving a little too fast now?
Career,girl.
Guy's got it all.
The idea with a cover is to keep it as simple as possible without revealing true personal detail.
Any thoughts on a name?
Charles carmichael?
Simple,dignified.
Easy to remember and not far off from...
graduated with honors from stanford.
Runs a hugely successful software company.
Semi-retired and is considering entering america's cup.
Have you donethis before?
Let's just say,uh,mr.
Carmichael and I sharea small kinship.
How's that?
When I first entered stanford, it's kind of where I envisionedmyself being by now,except for the sailing part.
I don't really knowwhere that came from.
But he's where most of my classalready is.
So,what happened?
My life took a little detoursophomore year when our old friendbryce larkin discovered stolen testsunder my bed, and was kind enoughto alert administration.
Did you steal the tests?
I thought it was kind of impliedthat I'm a decent person.
Well,we all make mistakes.
And I made plenty.
That just wasn't one of them.
But,hey,then bryce sent mea whole database of government secretsthat are now locked in my brain, keeping me in a constant stateof fear,danger and anxiety,so I'd say we're even.
Don't worryabout tonight.
No reason tobe nervous.
I am not going toleave your side.
Me nervous?
Come on.Never.
Your hand isa little moist.
It does thatwhen I'm freaking out.
Hey,sis.
Hey,sis,um...
do you know how to tango?
No,why?
Oh,no reason.
I just,I have a date tonight.
I thought it might come up.
You're tangoing on a date?
Well,that's definitelynew territory.
It's good to see you reachingoutside of your comfort zone.
Well,consideringmy comfort zone extends to the endof that couch, new territorywas bound to come up.
Did someone say tango?
No,thank you,captain awesome,I'll look it up online.
Would you please put on something,a robe or something?
Did a semester abroadin buenos aires.
Spent many a nighttangoing my way into se�oritas' pantalones.
And...
go.
There's no way he's going to breakthe two minute record.
Ooh,there.
It's okay,sweetheart.
Lester is right here.
Sorry to interrupt.
But we found just a few moredown by the loading dock.
Where's bartowski?
On a date with a smoking hotwiener girl,no biggie.
And he left you all here?
Good leadership.
Real good.
Well,it shouldn't be too difficult to getthese done by morning.
I'll leave the coffee pot on.
done.
What are those?
Morgan,what are those?
Tank.
Here.
This is for you.
Inside the watchis a tracking system.
That way you can'trun away from me.
And if you flash on anyone,tell me immediatelyand then stay out of the way.
Absolutely,yeah.
I,uh,I always runfrom a fight.
This isn't a joke,chuck.
No one who's ever seen youhas lived to tell about it.
Is he being serious?
Seriously?
What are my chancesof getting into trouble?
Toughen up,you'll be fine...
assuming you know how to tango.
I did somepreparation,okay?
I wouldn't callmyself an expert...
why would he need to know howto tango?
Is that code?
No,not-- no,he told me thatI needed to know how to tango...
Spy humor,I like that.
Come on,you ready?
Okay,wait,wait.
Where's everybody going,huh?
We got computers to fix.
Sorry,bro,I got mybar mitzvah lesson.
Internet poker.
I'm off by 8:00and hammered by 8:05.
What about chuck bartowski?
Okay,what about our fearlessleader?
We owe him.
For what?
What?
'Cause tonight,chuck bartowski's boldly going where none of ushave ever gone before-- to have intercoursewith a beautiful woman.
Speak for yourself.
Interesting.
Interesting.
I'm out of here.
I gotta go.
Anna,could I-- anna?
Okay.
Okay,fine.
See you guys.
Big michael just gavethe position to harry tang.
Oh,have I gotyour attention now?
Good.
Good,'causeyou know what that means?
No more two-hour lunch breaks.
No more xbox tournaments.
No more porn.
Yeah,yeah.
Total work hell.
I'm in,but your boybetter close the deal.
Let's do this.
Okay,thanks a lot,lester.
Don't touch me.
I'm going to talk to youabout this whole girl thing.
Hey,jeff,atta boy,huh?
Oh,nice,yes,thank you.
Oh,nice.
I've been a spyall of five seconds and I already havesoy sauce on my shirt.
Well,go and wash it off.
And chuck,stop sayingthat you're a spy.
Right,of course.
Idiot.
Do we know each other?
No.
No,not that I know of.
Sorry.
It's him.
Who?
La ciudad.
Come on.
I've already identifiedthe perp,as it were,what are we still doing here?
I mean,you know,mission accomplished.
Time to go.
Chuck,go wait at the bar.
Go wait...
wait at the bar?
Okay,you go do what you do.
I'm going to beat the bar,waiting there.
Covering that whole area.
Drink,sir?
Yeah,uh...
I'd like a martini,barkeep,shaken and stirred.
Thank you.
Would you likea cherry with that?
Chuck bartowski?
No.
The name's carmichael.
Allan watterman,stanford?
Hey,hey,how are you?
Hey.Hey,you.Hey.
I'm great.
I don't knowif you heard,I sold outof my software company.
Kind of unemployed.
Problem is,I'm too young to retire.
I'm too rich to work.
that's quite a pickle you findyourself in,watterman.
What are you doing now?
Last I heard,you were,um,you were fixing computers or something?
Yeah.
You know,just kind of,uh,just kind of weighingmy options right now.
Uh,you know,I may be gettinga managerial position at an electronics conglomerate, so,you know...
all right.
Well,I always knew you'd makesomething of yourself.
Who are you here with?
Oh,my date.
She's right over there.
She's with you?
We have a very openrelationship.
Well,hey,um,give me a call.
You know,if you need helpwith the whole job thing.
I know people.
Bet you do,yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
Insider tradingand offshore accounts in the caymans.
What did you just say?
Do you work for the sec?
I got to go.
Lester: Something fishy going on.
I know you guys think chuck'sa great guy and all that, but that weiner girlis super hot.
Even for me.
It's obvious,dude.
She's a pro.
Are you kidding?
Do you think chuck couldafford her if she was a pro?
All right,you know what,guys?
Enough crapping about.
All right,break time's over,let's go.
All right,who's up fora game of deerhunter?
Done.
No,no,no,no,no.
Guys,guys,guys,work now,play later,okay?
We've got hard drives to fix.
Look at this place,come on.
Let's go.
:Oh,no.
Oh,no what?
The lock is broken,man.
You needa key to open it.
Then get the key,jeff.
There's only two keys.
Harry tang has one.
And old chuck has the other one.
Yikes.
Where are you going?
Come on,old computers freak me out!
Somebody get me-- anna help me!
John,get me out of here,please!
Hit me again.
You stay.
Stay?
Stay-- like a dog.
Woman:Beautiful painting.
What's that?
Yeah,beautiful.
Painting,yeah.
It definitely hasa quality about it.
Very,I would say,bob rossian in its influence.
Who?
Bob ross.
Bob ross,you know,bob ross.
The guy who usedto paint on pbs.
With the afro and the soothing-- you have no ideawhat I'm talking about.
Sorry.
It won't be the first time.
I'm malena.
Hi.
Chuck.
Charles.
Charles carmichael.
So you don't like the painting?
No,I-I,it seemsvery lovely.
I just more interestedin the frame,but that-- you don'T...
So sorry.
So sorry about this.
Work never leaves you alone.
I'm in thesoftware game,so...
so you were sayingabout the frame?
Nothing,it doesn't reallyactually matter,sorry.
Champagne?
Sure,yeah.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Man:What's your real name?
And who do you work for?
I love a tango.
Oh,yeah.
Who doesn't?
Do you?
Do-- oh,do I want to,uh...
you know what,what the hell.
Yeah,let's give it a shot.
What are you doing here?
Please don't lie.
It'll make thismuch more painful.
Mr.Carmichael...
please.
Chuck.
Chuck,i think your handis supposed to be on my hip.
Right.
Uh,apparently,I learned the girl'spart of this dance.
Would you mind leading?
Not at all.
Federal agent.
Don't move.
Don't you move.
Internationalagents-- mi-6.
Drop your gun!
We're britishsecret service.
Lower your weapon!
Everyone take a deep breath.
I'm puttingdown my gun,and I'm gettingmy identification.
Slowly.
What are youdoing here?
I could ask you the same thing.
We've been pursuingan arms dealer through five countries.
Let me guess.
La ciudad?
That's right.
Mi-6 intercepteda painting with plutoniumhidden in the frame.
Rather thanannounce the bust,we removedthe plutonium and kept the auction in the hopeof luring ciudad.
If you're not la ciudad,then where is he?
Whoa,whoa,whoa,okay,okay,listen to me,so,listen to me.
My friend is at some sort of artfunction at your hotel,okay?
Uh,now listento me clearly.
I need to speak to him.
It's a matter of life and death.
Describe your friend.
Morgan:He's good-looking.
You know,it depends on your angle,I suppose.
Uh,he's not classicallyhandsome.
I wouldn't say he is,you know.
But he makes up for itwith charm.
Lots of,uh...of charm.
And he's kind of a lost soul.
Does this funny little thingwhen he's nervous.
He laughs.
He goes...
he kind of does this...
uh,anyways,what,uh,what,what?
Uh,brown hair,six-one.
Does that help at all?
What,uh...
what line ofwork are you in,malena?
Why are you so interested,mr.Carmichael?
No reason.
Just making conversation.
Excuse me,sir.
Are you chuck bartowski?
Who,me?
No!
No,I'm carmichael.
Uh,that's him.
That's my...
that's my friend.
I can hear his voice.
Hey,chuck!
Are you sure you'renot mr.Bartowski?
Your friend insists.
No,no,I insist.
I've never heardthat name in my life.
I got to go.
Excuse me.
Why don't we head up tomy room now,mr.Carmichael,and find outwho you really are.
okay.
Uh,so I guess we shouldregroup in the morning?
Good idea.
No,wait,wait,wait,wait.
Where youguys going?
Dude,it's just...
it's out of my pay grade.
I got to get someserious alcohol in me or I am nevergoing to sleep.
Anna: I'm sorry,morgan.
Be strong.
No,no,come on,guys,don't leave me in herewith these computers.
You can hand me a slice,maybe some water.
I need to survivethrough the night,and I...
not cool!
Malena: Let's startwith an easy one.
What's your real name?
Carmichael,charles carmichael.
Chuck bartowski.
That wasn't so hard.
Now...
before you answermy next question, I want you to think long andhard about my options here.
There's the old favorite-- yank out a tooth.
Too noisy.
cut off a toe.
That's too messy.
Far too messy.
Or we can chuck you offthe balcony...
chuck.
Probably landface first.
Teeth go through theback of your head.
not a good way to go.
So...
here's my question: Who do you work for?
No one.
No,no,stop,stop!
I fix computersfor a living!
I swear to god!
I snuck into the partyunder a fake name to impress a girl!
Please,please,down...
put chair down!
Good-bye,chuck.
No,no,no,it's a setup!
What is?
The painting?
The painting.
The painting,I think.
I think the painting mightbe a fake or something.
Why?
If you put me downI'll tell you.
I saw a photoof the painting in the L.A.Times,okay?
But it hada different frame.
So I'm assuming somebody maybe swapped it out,I don't know.
But if I were you,I would not buy that painting.
A fake painting.
And you had no intentionof bidding on it?
Me?
Bid on...
No,not unless they wereselling it for 25 bucks.
I mean,that's about what I havein my decorating budget.
Okay,tell me howto fix a computer,chuck.
my first inclination isthat your bus speed is not up to snuff with your video card.
I'm assuming we're talking about a pc here,right?
Is your memorydedicated?
That's enough,mr.Bartowski.
I believe you.
the problem is since you've seen me,now I have to kill you.
Have...
have to,have to?
No,no,no,I disagree,I disagree...
vehemently,vehemently.
No,no,no,I won't sayanything,I swear to god.
You don't know the things I know about people.
Don't worry,it'll be fast.
Good-bye,mr.Bartowski.
I enjoyed our tango.
I didn't likeit that much.
Really?
He was kind of silly.
Oh,I kind of liked him.
Hi.
They're on to us.
The sec knows everything.
Shelly,they knowabout the caymans.
I surrender!
I surrender!
Get down,chuck.
Chuck:Sarah!
Let's do this.
oh,my god!
it's okay,chuck.
Are you okay?
Okay?Okay?
Two more seconds andI'd have been dead.
They were going tothrow me off the balcony.
Did you tell themyou work for us?
Of course not.
Where the hellwere you guys?
You're still alive.
I'd consider myself lucky.
We have to get youout of the country.
First we take him out.
Hey.
How was the big date?
It was good,great,fine.
I'm going to go to bed.
I love you.
What?
No,no,no,no.
Is that all I get?
Come on,sit down.
I want to know,you know,do you like this girl?
It'S...
you know,it's complicated.
Well,explain it to me slowly,I'll catch up.
She's a very beautiful girl.
Good.
Go on.
And she's very agile.
I'm not sure how thatapplies,but continue.
And I think she's tooexhausting for me.
Well,what happened?
Did you guys tango?
Oh,yeah,yeah.
We tangoed.
In fact,we tangoedquite a bit,but awesome taught methe woman's pa of the tango, so it was a little difficult,as one might expect.
Awesome:What's up,bro?
Did you do thefamous dip?
Yeah.
I was on thereceiving end of that dip.
You did tango witha woman,right?
And on that note...
no,no,no,no,no.
You're notgetting off that easy.
Why won't you talk to me?
It's...
it's complicated,okay?
Just let it go.
Fine.
You don't wantto talk to me, I suggest you findsomeone to talk to like maybe your idiot friend.
He's called about 75 times.
He locked himselfin a storage cage.
Whatever that means.
Oh,god!
It's you.
Dude,dude,you have no idea.
Okay,okay,okay.
Settle down,settle down,settle down.
Settle downit's all good.
It's all good.
What happened?
Oh,what happened?
Tang showed up,and he dropped all these off.
I guess he was stashingthem,you know?
So...
all right,let's do this.
What are you talking...
Morgan,you don't knowhow to fix a computer.
Moral support,man.
Never...
never leaveyour wingman,okay?
Something your team couldlearn a little something about.
Look,it's okay,man.
Go get some sleep,okay?
Are you sure?
'Cause you say the word and we go down together.
No.
I appreciate that,but I think it'll be nice to do somethingI'm actually good at, so I'll see you.
Fantastic.
I'll see you later.Good night.
Good night.
You finished,bartowski?
Mission accomplished.
Two days was meantas an incentive.
I didn't think you'd really do it.
I'm impressed.
And I'm not a maneasily impressed.
Why,I think you should know thatI only fixed the last few--my team did most of the work.
They deserve the credit.
And you're only as goodas your team,so...
first rule of management:Always take credit.
Hope we can sell all this crap.
Sir,there's beena major infraction-- drinkingalcoholic beverages on the property.
Nothing wrong with a man wetting his whistleevery once in a while.
Keep it out of thestore,bartowski.
Yeah.Yeah.
Absolutely,sir.
You get extra points for style.
Looking sharp.
You look like a waiter.
kiss-ass.
Was I scared?
Yeah.
Yeah,I was scared.
But then this survivalinstinct kicked in.
Something I didn'teven know I possessed.
A desire to live.
Good news is,I may be ableto retire off this,all right?
I talked to big mike.
I told him he'd be hearingfrom my attorney.
That cage isa major fire hazard.
Chuck.
Good work last night.
Okay,you know what?
I'm,I'm workingon an all-nighter here,big guy.
And I realize that you areprobably armed.
And so I'm gonna ask youvery nicely,would you please easeup on the sarcasm.
I wasn't being facetious.
You helped us find la ciudad.
But she got away.
Yeah,we got a photofrom hotel security.
We got a blood samplefrom a broken window.
Our intel tell usshe's heading down to central america.
We have peoplewaiting there.
You're lookin' sharp.
Yeah,thanks.
That was facetious.
Idiot.
I fixed this one personally.
So it should begood as new.
And sorry about the delay.
Chuck,hiding from work again?
I,uh,I-I thinkI dropped something.
Go away,harry!
Oh,you wish I would.
I'm not going anywhere,chuck.
When you goto sleep at night,all you're gonna seeis tang in your face.
man:Excuse,please.
Where can I finda chuck bartowski?
Why,what's he done?
Because I need to speak to him.
Okay,well,if he's in any kindof trouble,let me know.
Chuck,you have a visitor.
Chuck?
Well,uh,maybeI can help you,sir.
I think we have some company.
I'm on it.
Chuck bartowski,to the storage cage.
Chuck bartowski,pleasereport to the storage cage.
Where's the storage cage?
Oh,just throughhere,sir.
I'll show you.
by the way we are havinga big sale on refrigerators in case youdidn't notice.
Where is he?
Where is chuck bartowski?
Sir,I'm just sales clerk.
Take me to him now!
oh,you!
You big 'ol guy...
you think...
that was so broken this morning.
Now that's what I callmoving some merchandise,yeah?
Yeah.
hang here.
Uh,charles irving bartowskiof the encino bartowskis, could you please reportto the returns desk.
Charles irving bartowski...
what?
Nothing,nothing.
I'm just lovingthis thing,man.
You know what?
We should get onefor your apartment.
Oh,good news.
They fixed the lock onthe storage cage,so...
what?
I'm really sorry,sis.
I-I know that I'vebeen kind of evasive.
It's just that I...
I didn't want to lie to you and I chose notsaying anything as being the lesserof two evils.
Why would youhave to lie to me?
Ellie,I just need youto trust me and know it has nothingto do with you.
But you want me to butt out.
I get it.
It's none of my business.
No!
No,no,no,no,I'm not saying that!
I'm not saying that.
I-I...
I just don't wantto create a false senseof excitement for a relationshipthat seems doomed.
Why is it doomed?
Because she'snot into me.
Uh,trust me.
I have seen the way thatthat girl looks at you and she is into you.
Really?
It's noneof my business.
Okay,no.
Okay,fine.
What the hell.
What do you,what do you want to ask me about sarah?
Really?
You better hurry up.
This offerwill not last.
Okay.
Do you like her?
Yeah.
Da-da-da-- no,no,unnecessary excitements.
Sorry.
Sorry.
What else?
That's it.
That's it?
Yeah.
Chuck,that's it.
I don't need to know theintimate details,okay?
As long as you're happy,that's enough for me.
And I don't,I don't want to nag you about yourfuture and your job.
I don't wantto be the sister that just pestersyou into oblivion.
No,no,no,no,you're,you're not a pest.
I just know what an incredibleguy charles bartowski is and...
and sometimes I'm not so surethat he knows it.
How do you feel about a brother-sister hugsituation right now?
I'm open to it.
Okay.
oh,I'll get iT.
Sorry.
I thought we hadplans tonight,you know?
What is she doing here?
What,uh,what gave youthat impression?
Uh,when you were leavingearlier and you were,like,see you later,dude.
Took you at your word.
It's coolif you don't want me to be here;that's fine.
Just gotta stopgiving me mixed signals.
Come on in.
Super.
Awesome.
What are we having?
Here you go.
Oh,thank you.Thank you.
You okay?
Uh,occupational hazard.
She got in a lucky kick.
Congratulationson your first mission.
You did really good,chuck.
Stop it.
I'm not really a spy.
Your computer ended upin the head of a guy who only knows how to fix 'em,nothing else.
You surviveda near-death experience under the threatof torture and apprehended one of the world'smost elusive killers.
I'm not sure you what you thinkspies do exactly, but most of us wouldconsider that a pretty good day.
Okay,sure,so todayI helped take down a major internationalarms dealer, but tomorrow,tomorrow I still gotta goclock in at buy more.
I mean,what's the goodof being a hero if nobody knows about it?
You know.
And so do I.
You know,if wewere really dating,this would bethe part where I'd be forced to kissyou good night.
Forced?
Would it beso bad?
I'm sure I could sufferthrough it.
Me,too.
Man,that dudeis creepy.
Agreed.