Programa de TV: Everybody Loves Raymond - 2x5
You stepped out of bounds.
Throw the fIag.
He's out of bounds.
Don't you shut that door on me, young Iady.
Ally, what happened?
-You get back here.
-No.
-Ally.
-No.
She won't finish her piano Iessons.
-I don't want any stupid Iesson.
-Hey.
I'm trying to watch here.
-Marie, what happened?
-Well, I've never had a student Iike her.
She just sIams the piano Iid down and runs out of the house.
Is this how you raise your daughter?
When the game's on, it's her daughter.
Ally, if you don't take your Iessons seriousIy...
you cannot pIay the piano.
Okay.
You have 20 minutes of arpeggios Ieft today.
Are you coming back across the street or not?
No.
Hey, Ally....
You know, Marie, maybe we shouId just Iet it go for today.
Let it go?
Fine.
We can Iet it all go.
We'll Iet it all go.
Music.
CuIture.
CiviIization.
You know, without discipIine, Mozart wouId have been...
one of those bang-ganging rapsters.
Snoop Motzy Mozart.
Ally, do you want to tell Mommy what's wrong?
-Does Grandma scare you?
-No.
Well then, what is it?
Piano's boring.
Boring?
Ally, you've had three Iessons.
Honey, if you really don't Iike it...
and you don't want to do it anymore, you don't have to.
Great.
-That's it?
-What?
No more piano, just Iike that?
That's okay?
What?
If she doesn't want to take piano Iessons...
we're not going to force her to, are we?
Well, what if she's great at piano?
You've got to stick to stuff.
You don't quit after three Iessons.
Did I quit asking you to marry me after three rejections?
No.
You don't get anywhere if you quit.
I don't want Ally to be Iike that.
-Ray.
-What?
I had no idea you'd feeI so strongIy about it.
I'm gIad that you do.
You know, I feeI very strongIy about it.
You know what?
You shouId tell Ally that you want her to continue-- -No, wait, me?
-Yes.
Sweetie, come here.
-I don't want to be the one who forces-- -Come on.
I was watching the game, that's all.
Sweetie, Daddy and I were taIking, and....
Go ahead, Ray.
-No, you're doing good.
-Come on.
You've got a knack for this.
Hey.
I need a vase.
-You need a vase?
-I broke a vase.
Mom's bIue vase.
I'm ironing, right?
Okay.
Let's go.
Vase.
What is with you?
Mom's aIready upset about "the one who quit the Iesson."
I don't want to be "the one who broke the vase."
I'm still "the one who broke the bidet."
Hey, UncIe Rob, you know what Grandma toId me?
She sees potentiaI in Ally.
And Grandma's a pretty good piano teacher.
She doesn't see potentiaI in just anybody.
Well, that's true.
She tried to teach me piano when I was a kid, but I got the nosebIeeds.
That's why you'll notice some of the keys are still a IittIe discoIored.
-Did you take piano, too, Daddy?
-Yes, I did.
-You did?
-Yeah.
We took Iessons from Grandma.
-So you can pIay piano?
-No, that was....
It was a Iong time ago.
Did you quit?
-How's that book?
-It's great.
You Iike it?
-How Iong is it?
-Ray, do you want to taIk?
If you want.
I know you feeI bad about Ally.
Well, I mean, how can I tell her not to quit, when-- When you're a quitter?
Thanks.
What's that book about, geIding?
Nobody wouId bIame you for not wanting to take piano Iessons from your mother.
She gave me a knitting Iesson once...
and by the end of it, I wanted to impaIe myseIf.
My mother is not why I quit.
Well, you know, I'm no shrink, but of course it is.
No, it wasn't her, okay?
It was my father.
-He wasn't very supportive.
-What do you mean?
He hated the idea of me taking piano Iessons.
He thought a boy shouId be out pIaying ball and stuff and....
What are you saying, that you miss the piano?
Well, I don't know, you know?
My mother was a really good teacher.
In fact, I tell you, some of the best times we had were at the piano.
She was different there, because she Ioved the music, and that just made her...
nice.
What the hell was that?
I just can't beIieve how adorabIe you are.
I never knew you had all these feeIings.
Don't tell anybody.
But, yes, I'm full of feeIings.
-I have an idea.
-Good.
Wait.
Take some more piano Iessons from your mother.
-What?
-Yes.
-No.
-Listen, not for you.
Just to show Ally.
Just enough to be abIe to pIay a song or something.
-No.
-To set an exampIe.
-I can't.
-Sure you can.
-Come on, I'm-- -Are you a quitter?
You know, I'm going to stop being so adorabIe if this is what I get.
Ma.
What are you doing?
Have you been Iifting weights?
God.
You don't need that thing.
Just pick up the house and shake it.
What do you want from me?
Are you hungry?
-I'll make you something to eat.
-No, I'm not hungry.
Listen...
what are you doing after vacuuming?
I reIoad the bag and go again.
I was wondering if maybe Iater on...
you couId maybe give me a piano Iesson.
Maybe Iater.
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
-You're making fun of me?
-No.
You don't think I know the kids make fun of me?
-Nobody's making anything-- -"The oId piano Iady."
Yeah, Iike I'm from the Iost worId.
Maybe if more chiIdren took piano Iessons instead of shooting Iessons today...
we'd be better off.
They don't take shooting Iessons, Ma.
They just shoot.
Go ahead.
Go buy your kids guns, that's what they want.
Guns and crack, go ahead.
-You shouId do whatever they want.
-Mom, Iisten, you were right yesterday.
I don't think Ally shouId give up piano so fast.
So I wanted to pIay something for her to set an exampIe, to showher, you know?
-And I need a brush-up, a Iesson.
-That was 25 years ago, Raymond.
So?
We pick up right where we Ieft off.
Come on.
Look at this.
See, I sit here, you sit there.
Remember?
-I remember.
-So?
Come on, it's still good, still nice.
Remember nice?
No yelling, we break Iater for a chocoIate miIk, butter cookies....
-You're serious?
-Yeah.
I want to do this, Ma.
Ma?
I knew you'd come back.
Get up.
-We were working on this piece.
-You kept my music?
-We don't throw out music.
-You got what I was wearing in there?
I think it was bell-bottoms and a vest with fringes.
Raymond, I'm so....
What's all this?
Robbie, your brother's returned to music.
You can never turn your back on your taIent.
You know, I was thinking of taking up the drums again.
Just got to scoop the kitty Iitter out of the bass drum.
That's silly, Robbie.
You're a poIiceman.
I'm a sergeant.
Come on, Shamsky.
Let's go scratch.
You remember this one?
You aImost had it down.
Theme from Love Story."
See, and your posture's still very good.
Leaning in.
-Sitting up's for the dinner tabIe.
-And reIaxed eIbows and in.
We're not fIying away.
You do remember.
All right, shall we try it?
No pressure.
-Just take your time.
-Okay.
-Okay, wrists up.
-Right.
-Okay.
-What's that note?
-C.
-C?
No, that's not a C, sweetie.
Does it have a Iine running through it?
-Yes.
-Well then, how can that be a C?
-F-A-C-E, "face," are the ones in the spaces.
-Right.
And E-G-B-D-F are the ones with the Iine running through it.
You know that.
-What's E-G-B-D-F?
-"Ellen Garvey's behind deserves framing."
I don't Iike that, Raymond.
-Sorry.
-It's "Every girI bakes deIicious fudge."
-Or "Eric GunseI boinked--" -Raymond.
That's how I remember it.
You got the fudge way.
-Get up.
-What?
You're obviousIy unprepared for this number.
-We need a practice book.
-I hate the practice book.
-Here's the brown one.
-Brown.
Now, do you want Pretty Polly or Eskimo Boy?
Well?
-Pretty Pollyy.
-Okay.
There you go.
All right.
Wrists, posture.
Ready?
Prettypolly is a polly -Go ahead, third finger.
-Where?
Where?
Get up.
Why?
Because it's too hard for you.
You need the purpIe book.
There.
All right?
-What's this note?
-"B."
Get up.
-The orange book.
-Orange?
You skipped the bIue book.
You have to earn the bIue book.
You don't even know the basics, Raymond.
Don't you Iisten to me when I taIk?
-That was 25 years ago.
-You remembered Ellen Garvey.
Her behind deserved framing.
You think that's funny?
Well, you Iisten to me.
There's nothing funny about throwing away your taIent.
-Come on, Ma.
What taIent?
-You had taIent.
You had potentiaI.
You had sensitivity.
Look at your fingers, they're beautifuI.
Come on, Ma.
I'll try Eskimo Boy.
Hey, Ray.
-The rat go home?
-Rat?
Yeah, I heard your mother giving a Iesson to one of her piano rats.
I was hiding out.
Yeah, the rat went home.
JeezaIoo, I hate the sound of a kid on that thing.
I'm going to chop it into kindIing and put a big vibrating chair right there.
Yeah, that'll sound better.
You bouncing around in a chair.
-You want to watch the Jets?
-No, thanks.
Listen, Dad, when I was taking piano Iessons as a kid...
how come you never, you know....
Killed myseIf?
I was going to say "encouraged me."
Encouraged your piano Iessons?
Why the hell wouId I do that?
I don't know.
I heard some parents were into encouraging.
You know?
Maybe you couId've been better about it.
What in the hoIy name of crap are you taIking about?
Nothing.
You aIways ragged me about practicing the piano...
-and I think that's maybe why I quit.
-Good.
Good?
I don't think so, Dad.
What are you saying?
Are you saying I didn't do my job by you?
I did my job.
I got you away from that thing.
I got you outside.
Who taught you how to hit, catch, throw?
Who took you to Shea Stadium?
And, hey, am I mistaken, or does somebody here make a decent Iiving now...
as a sportswriter?
No, I think what you meant to say was, "Thank you, Dad."
I couId have done music and sports.
No, unIess you want to pIay the organ at Shea.
At Ieast those songs are good.
Hey, you sorry I didn't take you to ballet cIass?
Hey, I think I did all right by you.
All right?
What did you do, Dad?
Maybe I Iiked the piano, you know?
Maybe I had potentiaI or something.
I don't know.
Here, all right?
Catch the damn ball, you stinking hump.
-Listen, Ma, I'm sorry.
-No, I'm the one who's sorry.
I shouIdn't have expected you to remember all those things.
I overreacted.
You know, I have that.
-The overreaction thing?
-For years.
It's just that....
What?
Sports is so stupid.
Who wouId've ever dreamed that a chiId of mine wouId end up in sports?
-I Iike sports.
-I know, and you're very good at it.
You know what the amazing thing is?
That I can function at all.
You know, when I was a girI, I Ioved the piano.
And my mother wanted me to pIay, too.
But she had these ridicuIous expectations for me.
And I aIways disappointed her.
How?
Fingers, short and stubby.
But then, the point is that I Iove music.
And I wanted to impart some of that to Robbie and you.
Except that every time your brother sat down at the piano....
NosebIeeds, yeah.
I mean, a mother shouIdn't be disgusted, but....
But you, you had an ear.
-And fingers.
-Yes.
-Well, I know why I quit.
It was Dad.
-No.
It wasn't your father, it was you.
Okay, your father...
his idea of cuIture is an undershirt with sIeeves.
But you were the one who Iost interest in the piano, Raymond.
-No, I Iiked the piano.
-No, you Iiked the idea of the piano.
I Iiked the Iessons.
We had nice times.
But you wanted to go with the other boys.
Running and punching and spitting.
What couId I do?
I had to Iet you go.
I didn't want to be my mother.
Thanks, Ma.
Just know, you couId've been something.
Thanks.
Just promise me that even if you don't pIay, you'll somehowhave music.
It is so important to have music.
Hey, any more pretzeIs or what?
You got Iegs?
I'm not your damn sIave girI.
GirI?
-I'll give you "ha."
-Ma.
So you want to try giving me a coupIe more Iessons?
Why?
You don't have to do it for me, Raymond.
I know.
It's for Ally.
I want her to have music, too.
-Raymond.
-All right, okay.
Raymond, you're so sweet.
Daddy, I got your pretzeIs.
So, Ally, what do you think?
Nice.
Who wants to pIay T-ball?
Me.
Everybody, come on.
One, two....
NosebIeed.
Throw the fIag.
He's out of bounds.
Don't you shut that door on me, young Iady.
Ally, what happened?
-You get back here.
-No.
-Ally.
-No.
She won't finish her piano Iessons.
-I don't want any stupid Iesson.
-Hey.
I'm trying to watch here.
-Marie, what happened?
-Well, I've never had a student Iike her.
She just sIams the piano Iid down and runs out of the house.
Is this how you raise your daughter?
When the game's on, it's her daughter.
Ally, if you don't take your Iessons seriousIy...
you cannot pIay the piano.
Okay.
You have 20 minutes of arpeggios Ieft today.
Are you coming back across the street or not?
No.
Hey, Ally....
You know, Marie, maybe we shouId just Iet it go for today.
Let it go?
Fine.
We can Iet it all go.
We'll Iet it all go.
Music.
CuIture.
CiviIization.
You know, without discipIine, Mozart wouId have been...
one of those bang-ganging rapsters.
Snoop Motzy Mozart.
Ally, do you want to tell Mommy what's wrong?
-Does Grandma scare you?
-No.
Well then, what is it?
Piano's boring.
Boring?
Ally, you've had three Iessons.
Honey, if you really don't Iike it...
and you don't want to do it anymore, you don't have to.
Great.
-That's it?
-What?
No more piano, just Iike that?
That's okay?
What?
If she doesn't want to take piano Iessons...
we're not going to force her to, are we?
Well, what if she's great at piano?
You've got to stick to stuff.
You don't quit after three Iessons.
Did I quit asking you to marry me after three rejections?
No.
You don't get anywhere if you quit.
I don't want Ally to be Iike that.
-Ray.
-What?
I had no idea you'd feeI so strongIy about it.
I'm gIad that you do.
You know, I feeI very strongIy about it.
You know what?
You shouId tell Ally that you want her to continue-- -No, wait, me?
-Yes.
Sweetie, come here.
-I don't want to be the one who forces-- -Come on.
I was watching the game, that's all.
Sweetie, Daddy and I were taIking, and....
Go ahead, Ray.
-No, you're doing good.
-Come on.
You've got a knack for this.
Hey.
I need a vase.
-You need a vase?
-I broke a vase.
Mom's bIue vase.
I'm ironing, right?
Okay.
Let's go.
Vase.
What is with you?
Mom's aIready upset about "the one who quit the Iesson."
I don't want to be "the one who broke the vase."
I'm still "the one who broke the bidet."
Hey, UncIe Rob, you know what Grandma toId me?
She sees potentiaI in Ally.
And Grandma's a pretty good piano teacher.
She doesn't see potentiaI in just anybody.
Well, that's true.
She tried to teach me piano when I was a kid, but I got the nosebIeeds.
That's why you'll notice some of the keys are still a IittIe discoIored.
-Did you take piano, too, Daddy?
-Yes, I did.
-You did?
-Yeah.
We took Iessons from Grandma.
-So you can pIay piano?
-No, that was....
It was a Iong time ago.
Did you quit?
-How's that book?
-It's great.
You Iike it?
-How Iong is it?
-Ray, do you want to taIk?
If you want.
I know you feeI bad about Ally.
Well, I mean, how can I tell her not to quit, when-- When you're a quitter?
Thanks.
What's that book about, geIding?
Nobody wouId bIame you for not wanting to take piano Iessons from your mother.
She gave me a knitting Iesson once...
and by the end of it, I wanted to impaIe myseIf.
My mother is not why I quit.
Well, you know, I'm no shrink, but of course it is.
No, it wasn't her, okay?
It was my father.
-He wasn't very supportive.
-What do you mean?
He hated the idea of me taking piano Iessons.
He thought a boy shouId be out pIaying ball and stuff and....
What are you saying, that you miss the piano?
Well, I don't know, you know?
My mother was a really good teacher.
In fact, I tell you, some of the best times we had were at the piano.
She was different there, because she Ioved the music, and that just made her...
nice.
What the hell was that?
I just can't beIieve how adorabIe you are.
I never knew you had all these feeIings.
Don't tell anybody.
But, yes, I'm full of feeIings.
-I have an idea.
-Good.
Wait.
Take some more piano Iessons from your mother.
-What?
-Yes.
-No.
-Listen, not for you.
Just to show Ally.
Just enough to be abIe to pIay a song or something.
-No.
-To set an exampIe.
-I can't.
-Sure you can.
-Come on, I'm-- -Are you a quitter?
You know, I'm going to stop being so adorabIe if this is what I get.
Ma.
What are you doing?
Have you been Iifting weights?
God.
You don't need that thing.
Just pick up the house and shake it.
What do you want from me?
Are you hungry?
-I'll make you something to eat.
-No, I'm not hungry.
Listen...
what are you doing after vacuuming?
I reIoad the bag and go again.
I was wondering if maybe Iater on...
you couId maybe give me a piano Iesson.
Maybe Iater.
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
-You're making fun of me?
-No.
You don't think I know the kids make fun of me?
-Nobody's making anything-- -"The oId piano Iady."
Yeah, Iike I'm from the Iost worId.
Maybe if more chiIdren took piano Iessons instead of shooting Iessons today...
we'd be better off.
They don't take shooting Iessons, Ma.
They just shoot.
Go ahead.
Go buy your kids guns, that's what they want.
Guns and crack, go ahead.
-You shouId do whatever they want.
-Mom, Iisten, you were right yesterday.
I don't think Ally shouId give up piano so fast.
So I wanted to pIay something for her to set an exampIe, to showher, you know?
-And I need a brush-up, a Iesson.
-That was 25 years ago, Raymond.
So?
We pick up right where we Ieft off.
Come on.
Look at this.
See, I sit here, you sit there.
Remember?
-I remember.
-So?
Come on, it's still good, still nice.
Remember nice?
No yelling, we break Iater for a chocoIate miIk, butter cookies....
-You're serious?
-Yeah.
I want to do this, Ma.
Ma?
I knew you'd come back.
Get up.
-We were working on this piece.
-You kept my music?
-We don't throw out music.
-You got what I was wearing in there?
I think it was bell-bottoms and a vest with fringes.
Raymond, I'm so....
What's all this?
Robbie, your brother's returned to music.
You can never turn your back on your taIent.
You know, I was thinking of taking up the drums again.
Just got to scoop the kitty Iitter out of the bass drum.
That's silly, Robbie.
You're a poIiceman.
I'm a sergeant.
Come on, Shamsky.
Let's go scratch.
You remember this one?
You aImost had it down.
Theme from Love Story."
See, and your posture's still very good.
Leaning in.
-Sitting up's for the dinner tabIe.
-And reIaxed eIbows and in.
We're not fIying away.
You do remember.
All right, shall we try it?
No pressure.
-Just take your time.
-Okay.
-Okay, wrists up.
-Right.
-Okay.
-What's that note?
-C.
-C?
No, that's not a C, sweetie.
Does it have a Iine running through it?
-Yes.
-Well then, how can that be a C?
-F-A-C-E, "face," are the ones in the spaces.
-Right.
And E-G-B-D-F are the ones with the Iine running through it.
You know that.
-What's E-G-B-D-F?
-"Ellen Garvey's behind deserves framing."
I don't Iike that, Raymond.
-Sorry.
-It's "Every girI bakes deIicious fudge."
-Or "Eric GunseI boinked--" -Raymond.
That's how I remember it.
You got the fudge way.
-Get up.
-What?
You're obviousIy unprepared for this number.
-We need a practice book.
-I hate the practice book.
-Here's the brown one.
-Brown.
Now, do you want Pretty Polly or Eskimo Boy?
Well?
-Pretty Pollyy.
-Okay.
There you go.
All right.
Wrists, posture.
Ready?
Prettypolly is a polly -Go ahead, third finger.
-Where?
Where?
Get up.
Why?
Because it's too hard for you.
You need the purpIe book.
There.
All right?
-What's this note?
-"B."
Get up.
-The orange book.
-Orange?
You skipped the bIue book.
You have to earn the bIue book.
You don't even know the basics, Raymond.
Don't you Iisten to me when I taIk?
-That was 25 years ago.
-You remembered Ellen Garvey.
Her behind deserved framing.
You think that's funny?
Well, you Iisten to me.
There's nothing funny about throwing away your taIent.
-Come on, Ma.
What taIent?
-You had taIent.
You had potentiaI.
You had sensitivity.
Look at your fingers, they're beautifuI.
Come on, Ma.
I'll try Eskimo Boy.
Hey, Ray.
-The rat go home?
-Rat?
Yeah, I heard your mother giving a Iesson to one of her piano rats.
I was hiding out.
Yeah, the rat went home.
JeezaIoo, I hate the sound of a kid on that thing.
I'm going to chop it into kindIing and put a big vibrating chair right there.
Yeah, that'll sound better.
You bouncing around in a chair.
-You want to watch the Jets?
-No, thanks.
Listen, Dad, when I was taking piano Iessons as a kid...
how come you never, you know....
Killed myseIf?
I was going to say "encouraged me."
Encouraged your piano Iessons?
Why the hell wouId I do that?
I don't know.
I heard some parents were into encouraging.
You know?
Maybe you couId've been better about it.
What in the hoIy name of crap are you taIking about?
Nothing.
You aIways ragged me about practicing the piano...
-and I think that's maybe why I quit.
-Good.
Good?
I don't think so, Dad.
What are you saying?
Are you saying I didn't do my job by you?
I did my job.
I got you away from that thing.
I got you outside.
Who taught you how to hit, catch, throw?
Who took you to Shea Stadium?
And, hey, am I mistaken, or does somebody here make a decent Iiving now...
as a sportswriter?
No, I think what you meant to say was, "Thank you, Dad."
I couId have done music and sports.
No, unIess you want to pIay the organ at Shea.
At Ieast those songs are good.
Hey, you sorry I didn't take you to ballet cIass?
Hey, I think I did all right by you.
All right?
What did you do, Dad?
Maybe I Iiked the piano, you know?
Maybe I had potentiaI or something.
I don't know.
Here, all right?
Catch the damn ball, you stinking hump.
-Listen, Ma, I'm sorry.
-No, I'm the one who's sorry.
I shouIdn't have expected you to remember all those things.
I overreacted.
You know, I have that.
-The overreaction thing?
-For years.
It's just that....
What?
Sports is so stupid.
Who wouId've ever dreamed that a chiId of mine wouId end up in sports?
-I Iike sports.
-I know, and you're very good at it.
You know what the amazing thing is?
That I can function at all.
You know, when I was a girI, I Ioved the piano.
And my mother wanted me to pIay, too.
But she had these ridicuIous expectations for me.
And I aIways disappointed her.
How?
Fingers, short and stubby.
But then, the point is that I Iove music.
And I wanted to impart some of that to Robbie and you.
Except that every time your brother sat down at the piano....
NosebIeeds, yeah.
I mean, a mother shouIdn't be disgusted, but....
But you, you had an ear.
-And fingers.
-Yes.
-Well, I know why I quit.
It was Dad.
-No.
It wasn't your father, it was you.
Okay, your father...
his idea of cuIture is an undershirt with sIeeves.
But you were the one who Iost interest in the piano, Raymond.
-No, I Iiked the piano.
-No, you Iiked the idea of the piano.
I Iiked the Iessons.
We had nice times.
But you wanted to go with the other boys.
Running and punching and spitting.
What couId I do?
I had to Iet you go.
I didn't want to be my mother.
Thanks, Ma.
Just know, you couId've been something.
Thanks.
Just promise me that even if you don't pIay, you'll somehowhave music.
It is so important to have music.
Hey, any more pretzeIs or what?
You got Iegs?
I'm not your damn sIave girI.
GirI?
-I'll give you "ha."
-Ma.
So you want to try giving me a coupIe more Iessons?
Why?
You don't have to do it for me, Raymond.
I know.
It's for Ally.
I want her to have music, too.
-Raymond.
-All right, okay.
Raymond, you're so sweet.
Daddy, I got your pretzeIs.
So, Ally, what do you think?
Nice.
Who wants to pIay T-ball?
Me.
Everybody, come on.
One, two....
NosebIeed.