Programa de TV: Nip/Tuck - 6x12
>> I WOKE UP, I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS.
DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS.
COULDN'T BELIEVE ID SLEPT THROUGH MOST OF MY LIFE.
ID BEEN UNCONSCIOUS FOR 22 YEARS.
SINCE 1989.
I WAS 18.
>> AND THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED AT A CONSTRUCTION SITE, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> YES, IT WAS A SUMMER JOB.
I WAS INSTALLING A CHURCH STEEPLE.
A CRANE COLLAPSED.
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT HITTING ME.
ONE SECOND, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, THE NEXT, PHHTT--LIGHTS OUT.
>> AND WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?
WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
>> JESUS, MAN, LOOK AT ME.
IM ANCIENT!
EVEN THOUGH MY BODY WAS ALIVE FOR 40 YEARS, I WAS ONLY AWAKE FOR 18.
>> AND YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE AN 18 YEAR OLD AGAIN?
>> I AM AN 18 YEAR OLD!
I HAD PLANS BEFORE I WENT IN THE COMA.
I WAS GONNA GO TO COLLEGE.
I WAS GONNA MEET A GIRL, HAVE A FAMILY.
HAVE A CAREER.
>> MR, KENNY...
>> SEE, THAT'S-- IM A MISTER.
IM A MISTER NOW.
[SIGHS] I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I SEE THIS OLD MAN LOOKING BACK AT ME.
AND IM LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?
WHO PUT ME IN YOUR BODY?"
I NEED YOU TO MAKE THE OUTSIDE MATCH THE INSIDE.
YOU CAN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO LIVE ALL THOSE YEARS THAT I LOST FOR THE FIRST TIME, FULLY AWAKE.
YOU CAN GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE.
>> AHH, MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL MAKE ME THE PERFECT SOUL, A PERFECT MIND, A PERFECT FACE, A PERFECT LIE [WATER RUNNING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [TV PLAYING] >> NOW MY LIFE WEARS OUT, AND I WONDER [INDISTINCT] LOOK LIKE THIS, THERE'S A KNOCK ON THE DOOR [SONG CONTINUES] [TV PLAYING] >> WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING READY?
>> READY?
FOR WHAT?
>> I HAVE A MEET AND GREET AT THE PACIFIC DESIGN CENTER TONIGHT.
I TOLD YOU THIS A WEEK AGO, YOU DON'T REMEMBER?
[SIGHS] CHRISTIAN, THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
I NEED TO MAKE CONTACTS TONIGHT, AND I HAD ALL OF THESE BUSINESS CARDS MADE.
>> "OVER 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE."
IN WHAT?
>> WELL, I HAD A LIFE BEFORE YOU AND I MET.
I DESIGNED ALL MY OWN MOVIE SETS.
>> OH.
[CHUCKLES] OK.
>> WELL, YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY THANKED ME FOR WHAT I'VE DONE HERE.
>> CANT IMAGINE HOW THAT SLIPPED MY MIND.
>> LOOK, I KNOW IT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF GETTING USED TO, BUT IN THE OVERCROWDED MARKETS IN L.A., YOU NEED TO MAKE BOLD STYLE CHOICES.
AND SPEAKING OF STYLE, COULD YOU PLEASE GET UP OFF THE COUCH AND GO GET DRESSED?
[TURNS ON TV] >> THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU TRIED TO DRAG ME OUT THIS WEEK, ALL RIGHT?
I DIDN'T GET MARRIED SO THAT YOU COULD GET ME IN A SUIT AND HAVE ME RUB ELBOWS WITH THE GREAT UNWASHED.
[TURNS OFF TV] >> ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, I GOT THE HOUSE, THE JOB, THE BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
JUST LET ME RELAX AND ENJOY MY LIFE.
[TURNS ON TV] [PUTS REMOTE CONTROL ON TABLE] >> OK.
>> AWESOME BALLGAME LAST NIGHT.
YOU GET TO CATCH IT?
>> IS THAT YOU?
>> HUH?
>> YOU STINK.
AND YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.
>> THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET READY THIS MORNING?
3 MINUTES.
GOT TO CATCH SPORTSCENTER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, DIDN'T CUT MYSELF SHAVING, DIDN'T HAVE TO SWING BY THE DRY CLEANERS ON MY WAY TO THE OFFICE.
>> YEAH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE.
>> I AM DONE GETTING UP AT 6:00 EVERY DAY, GETTING READY FOR WORK.
SHOWER, SHAVE, DO THE HAIR, PRESS THE SUIT.
ALL THAT BULLSHITS HARD ON A MAN.
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT THAT THING, BY THE WAY?
>> TRYING TO FIND A BED.
ONLY HAVE A MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW.
>> A MAN OVER THIRTY SHOULD NEVER BUY ANYTHING THAT HE HAS TO PUT TOGETHER, PARTICULARLY FROM THE SWEDES.
>> MM-HMM, JULIA USED TO BUY OUR FURNITURE.
NEVER REALLY HAD TO DO THIS BEFORE.
NEVER HAD MY OWN PLACE UNTIL NOW.
>> HA, CALL MY WIFE.
SHE APPARENTLY IS AN INTERIOR DESIGNER NOW.
>> KIMBER?
>> MATTER OF FACT...
YOU'D BE DOING ME A HUGE FAVOR.
SHES BEING A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS.
DO YOU MIND GIVING HER A BUZZ?
HUH?
>> EXCUSE ME.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A HALF HOUR.
SHOULD I RESCHEDULE?
>> I TOLD YOU ALREADY, WELL BE WITH YOU AS SOON AS WE CAN.
>> HI.
>> HI.
>> SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, MRS., UM-- >> BANKS.
>> BANKS.
>> WILLOW BANKS.
>> WILLOW BANKS.
WOW.
BEAUTIFUL.
DR.
CHRISTIAN TROY.
[CHUCKLES] YOU A MODEL?
>> I WAS.
>> GREAT.
>> ID LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE RECEPTIONIST.
SHE CAN BE A REAL BITCH SOMETIMES.
>> DR.
TROY-- >> DO IT AGAIN, YOU'RE FIRED.
OK?
[MURMURING] SHALL WE?
>> YEAH.
PLEASE DON'T FIRE HER ON MY ACCOUNT.
WOMEN ALWAYS SEEM TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT.
>> MAYBE ILL GIVE HER A RAISE.
[CHUCKLES] AHH.
>> MAYBE I SHOULD BANG THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT HERE ON THIS DESK.
DR.
TROY?
DR.
TROY?
EXCUSE ME?
>> YES.
SO...
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MS.
BANKS?
ID ASK YOU WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF, BUT YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD TO ME.
[CHUCKLES] >> WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM.
>> RIGHT.
>> IM TIRED OF ALL THE ATTENTION I GET BECAUSE OF THE WAY I LOOK.
IM TIRED OF EVERY GUY I MEET EITHER BEING TOO INTIMIDATED TO TALK TO ME, OR THINK THAT HE CAN JUST STROLL UP AND ASK ME OUT.
>> HMM., >> I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES A GUY HAS TRIED SOME CHEESY PICK-UP LINE OR HOWLED LIKE A DOG AS I WALK BY.
I MEAN, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST A LITTLE CONVERSATION BEFORE TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE ENVISIONING ME NAKED?
>> [SIGHS] >> AND IM TIRED OF NOT HAVING ANY GIRLFRIENDS BECAUSE THEY THINK I MAKE THEM LOOK BAD.
I JUST...I CANT BE PERFECT ANYMORE.
I WANT TO BE UNPERFECT.
>> UNPERFECT?
>> MM-HMM.
YEAH.
>> [CHUCKLES] WELL, THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER HEARD.
[LAUGHS] PEOPLE COME IN HERE EVERY DAY ASKING FOR WHAT YOU HAVE.
THEY WANT YOUR FACE.
>> WELL, I DON'T.
NOT ANY LONGER.
ITS JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE, DR.
TROY.
I FEEL LIKE IM ONSTAGE ALL THE TIME.
I EVEN QUIT MODELING, AND THAT HASNT HELPED.
LOOK, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET AND BE IGNORED.
I WANT TO BE NORMAL LOOKING.
I WANT TO BE AVERAGE.
>> WHAT ABOUT PUTTING ON A COUPLE OF POUNDS?
YOU KNOW, A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> I DON'T EAT RED MEAT.
>> ICE CREAM.
>> IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT.
>> JESUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.
JUST TAKE WORSE CARE OF YOURSELF.
LIKE SOME NUTS?
>> NO, THANKS.
>> COME ON, YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT.
>> LOOK, I SAID I WANTED TO BE UNBEAUTIFUL, NOT UNHEALTHY.
>> OK.
>> AND I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE SUPERFICIAL CHANGES.
IM NOT WEARING ANY MAKE-UP, I HAVEN'T WASHED MY HAIR IN LIKE A WEEK.
I MEAN, LOOK AT WHAT IM WEARING, FOR CHRIST SAKES.
AND STILL, YOUR PARKING VALET GAVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER.
>> WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY A LITTLE HARDER, BECAUSE LOOKING THE WAY YOU LOOK, I WOULD NEVER TOUCH YOU WITH A SCALPEL.
AND GOOD LUCK FINDING A DOCTOR WHO WOULD.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] >> PHEW.
>> HEY.
>> HEY.
>> OH, HELLO.
HEH.
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK?
>> NO, NO, NO.
COME IN, COME IN.
>> YOU SURE?
OK.
>> I JUST GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.
>> WORKING OUT?
>> YEAH.
ITS KIND OF A METAPHOR FOR MY LIFE THESE DAYS.
YOU WANT SOME WATER?
>> OH, NO, THANKS.
IM GOOD.
>> I JUST KEEP RUNNING AND RUNNING WITHOUT A CLUE WHERE IM GOING.
>> WELL, AT LEAST YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR BODY.
CHRISTIANS AT HOME LAYING ON THE COUCH DRINKING BEER LIKE A FAT SLOB.
SEEMS HES GIVEN UP.
>> WELL, MAYBE THAT'S HIS WAY OF SAYING HES HAPPY.
>> OR MAYBE ITS HIS WAY OF TELLING ME HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT I THINK.
AH.
>> WELL, HE IS PROUD OF YOU, KIMBER.
>> I SUPPOSE.
WELL, OK.
I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I PUT TOGETHER.
DO YOU MIND?
>> NO, NO.
YEAH, YEAH.
>> FIRST ONE.
>> OH.
NOW, SEE, THIS IS A LITTLE MORE CHRISTIAN THAN ME, DON'T YOU THINK?
>> ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOUR TASTES?
LIKE, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE SEAN McNAMARA?
>> [CHUCKLES] WELL, HOW WOULD I KNOW?
IM JUST A DOCTOR.
>> WELL, YOU'RE MORE THAN THAT.
WHAT ABOUT LIKE AN ARTSY, INTELLECTUAL, MID-CENTURY TYPE OF GUY?
>> HMM., >> HMM?
OR YOU COULD DO KIND OF A HOMEY, KICK-BACK, COUNTRY FRENCH LOOK?
>> LOOK, DO I NEED TO GO TO THERAPY JUST TO GET SOME FURNITURE FOR THIS PLACE?
THAT'S WHY I HIRED YOU.
>> NO, ITS JUST, IN DESIGN SCHOOL, THEY REALLY EMPHASIZE ON LISTENING TO THE CLIENT.
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOUR LIKES, DISLIKES, COLORS.
>> YEAH, WELL, THIS PARTICULAR CLIENT HAS NO SELF, IT SEEMS.
HES ARRIVED IN HIS 45th YEAR WITH NO OPINIONS OR TASTE OF HIS OWN.
HE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME IN EVERYONE ELSES SHADOW.
KIMBER, JUST DO YOUR THING.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU THINK.
LET YOUR IMAGINATION GO, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION.
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> OK.
WELL, I THINK I CAN DO SOMETHING IN HERE.
THANK YOU.
I PROMISE YOU, IM GOING TO BLOW YOU AWAY WITH THIS PLACE, OK?
>> I HAVE TOTAL FAITH IN YOU.
>> THANKS.
ILL SEE YOU LATER.
>> OK.
>> BYE.
>> BYE.
>> [CHUCKLES] SEE YA.
>> SEE YA.
[MUSIC PLAYING] [MONITOR BEEPING] >> IT REALLY IS A MIRACLE.
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY.
99% OF COMAS THAT LAST MORE THAN THREE YEARS ARE PERMANENT.
>> NO, I MEAN BECAUSE HE CAN STEAL $40,000 FROM US JUST LYING ON THIS TABLE.
ITS--ITS MIRACULOUS.
>> THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL PRO-BONO CASE.
THE WEAR AND TEAR ON HIS FACE IS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE NORM BECAUSE OF HIS PRONE POSITION.
>> OK, WERE DOING A RHYTIDECTOMY WITH AN S.M.A.S.
PLICATION.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE CAN NOW CORNER THE MARKET ON RIP VAN WINKLES.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
MADE UP A LOT OF NEW EXPENSES.
YOU KNOW, IM JUST TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE.
>> AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, IM NOT COMPROMISING ON WORK I FIND INTERESTING AND REWARDING SO YOU CAN HAVE NEW TOYS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT MONEY.
I JUST GOT KIMBERS FIRST BILL.
>> WELL, UNLIKE MR.
KENNY, YOU'RE NOT A CHARITY CASE, OK?
DID YOU THINK SHE WAS GOING TO WORK FOR FREE?
>> THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRO-BONO AND BLEEDING ME DRY.
IM HER FIRST CLIENT, AND I ONLY HIRED HER AS A FAVOR TO YOU.
>> YOU KNOW, IF I HAD HAVE KNOWN YOU'D BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS, I NEVER WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE?
>> HUH?
>> ID LIKE TO FINISH THIS ON MY OWN.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> IM TIRED OF THE WITTY BANTER AND THE BACK AND FORTH AND YOU TELLING ME ALL THE WAYS IM MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, ID LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME FOCUSING ON MY WORK.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> YES.
>> JESUS!
>> WAIT A SECOND, DON'T PUSH IT.
ITS GONNA GET DIRTY.
>> DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE REDOING THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN.
>> NO, NO, THIS IS FOR SEAN.
I HAVE TO GO THERE LATER AND FINISH.
>> WELL, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO STAY HOME AND WATCH SOME TELEVISION TOGETHER.
>> HONEY, I TOLD YOU, I HAVE A CLIENT DEADLINE.
>> [SCOFFS] CLIENT?
HES NOT A CLIENT, HES SEAN.
THE ONLY REASON HE GAVE YOU THE JOB WAS BECAUSE I ASKED HIM TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>> WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT HE TOLD ME.
[SIGHS] OK.
DAMN IT, I CANT FIND THE SWATCHES.
CHRISTIAN, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?
>> LOOK, I TOLD SEAN TO CALL YOU BEFORE YOU GOT BOOKED UP, THAT'S ALL, ALL RIGHT?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT, BY THE WAY.
I MEAN, YOU WORKING AGAIN WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY, NOT MISERABLE.
NOW YOU FEEL MISERABLE AND I FEEL MISERABLE, AND...
ITS NOT GOOD.
MAYBE WE SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER OR SOMETHING.
>> [SCOFFS] AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER WITH THAT GIANT GUT OF YOURS IN BETWEEN US?
>> WHAT?
I HAVE A GUT?
>> AND THAT STUBBLE YOU'VE GOT GOING ON?
YOU THINK I LIKE THAT RUBBING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS?
>> I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THE BEARD.
>> IM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR BEARD, CHRISTIAN.
IM TALKING ABOUT YOUR BALLS.
YOU USED TO SHAVE THEM FOR ME.
NOW IM LUCKY IF YOU EVEN RUN A COMB THROUGH YOUR HAIR BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.
THIS WHOLE NEW CHRISTIAN LOOK ISNT EXACTLY WORKING FOR ME.
SO MAYBE IF YOU COULD REDISCOVER A BRUSH, OR, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A RAZOR...
UNTIL THEN, YOU'RE NOT DOING ME EITHER, OK?
OH, DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME, CAUSE IM GONNA BE LATE.
>> YOU LOOK GOOD.
>> HEY.
AH.
SORRY.
I, UH--LINDA GAVE ME THIS, AND...I USED TO THINK THE WALKMAN WAS COOL.
>> [CHUCKLES] HAVE A SEAT.
I WANT A LAST LITTLE LOOK, SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY WITH A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH.
>> MY MOM STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE LOOKED AT ME.
SHE SAID LOOKING AT ME MADE HER FEEL 20 YEARS YOUNGER.
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT 20.
BUT WE DEFINITELY CHOPPED OFF AT LEAST 10.
SO, WHATS NEXT ON YOUR AGENDA?
>> ITS ALL PRETTY WEIRD.
ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE GROWN AND HAVE FAMILIES AND CAREERS, AND A LOT OF THEM HAVE MOVED AWAY.
SO I REALLY WANT TO MEET SOMEONE MY OWN AGE.
EARLY TWENTIES, MAYBE.
I DON'T WANT TO AIM TOO HIGH.
BUT I FIGURED ID GO TO THE CLUBS AND SEE IF I WAS ANY BETTER OF A DANCER THAN I USED TO BE.
>> ANY SUGGESTIONS?
>> NO, NOT REALLY.
I TRAVEL IN A SLIGHTLY OLDER CIRCLE.
>> OH.
>> BEST OF LUCK, THOUGH.
>> THANK YOU.
I FEEL LIKE A FREAK.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GIRLS LIKE TODAY.
YOU KNOW, TEXTING, CELL PHONES, GOOGLE.
ITS ALL PRETTY...
NERVE WRACKING.
>> WELL, ITS KIND OF LIKE RIDING A BIKE.
IM SURE YOU'LL BE FINE.
>> EXCEPT I'VE NEVER RIDDEN A BIKE.
SO TO SPEAK.
>> SO YOU'RE...
>> YEAH.
A 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN.
OH.
COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
COULD HAVE DIED ONE.
>> I KNOW A PLACE THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE.
THEY EVEN LET OLD GUYS LIKE ME IN.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] >> OH.
HI.
>> HI.
>> UM, DID YOU COME FIND ME TO TELL ME THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT MY SURGERY, OR...
>> NO, ACTUALLY, I CAME TO CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THE SURGERY.
>> THAT WONT HAPPEN.
I ALREADY HAVE TWO MORE APPOINTMENTS WITH PLASTIC SURGEONS NEXT WEEK, DR.
TROY.
SO-- >> YOU CAN CALL ME CHRISTIAN.
>> HMM., >> IM NOT HERE AS YOUR DOCTOR.
[CHUCKLES] YOU DO LIKE WINE, DON'T YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH?
WELL, THIS IS, UH, REALLY NICE.
GOES PERFECTLY WITH THE COLONELS SPECIAL RECIPE.
>> I'VE ALREADY EATEN, BUT THANK YOU.
>> OH, OK.
WELL, THAT'S MORE FOR ME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> HUH?
>> YOU KNOW, ITS SATURDAY NIGHT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IM NOT GOING OUT?
>> YOU DON'T LIKE AGGRESSIVE MEN, AND THERE'S MORE AGGRESSIVE AND DRUNK MEN OUT ON A SATURDAY NIGHT THAN ANY OTHER NIGHT OF THE WEEK.
SO WHY DON'T YOU DO US BOTH A FAVOR, JUST QUIT YOUR YAPPIN, GRAB A COUPLE OF GLASSES AND A CORKSCREW, AND COME SIT YOUR LITTLE ASS DOWN ON THE COUCH.
>> SEEMS LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT TO FIND AN AGGRESSIVE MAN.
>> OK.
COME TO PAPA.
HA HA HA.
AH.
>> AHH.
>> I DON'T THINK I'VE HAD FRIED CHICKEN SINCE I WAS IN, LIKE, HIGH SCHOOL.
BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE REMOVING THE SKIN.
THAT'S WHERE ALL THE FAT IS.
>> THAT'S WHERE ALL THE TASTE IS.
AHH.
OK.
MMM, >> UGH.
>> MMM.
MMM, WOW.
OH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO TRY SOME OF THIS?
>> YEAH, NO.
>> MMM, MMM, >> OK.
GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE.
>> MM-HMM, [MUSIC PLAYING] >> ONE THING THAT I JUST CANT SEE IS HOW TO TOUCH A GIRL >> THE MUSICS PRETTY COOL.
WHAT IS THIS?
>> TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I THINK THE LAST TIME I BOUGHT A CD, YOU WERE STILL AWAKE.
IM MOSTLY INTO POP MUSIC FROM THE LATE EIGHTIES.
YOU KNOW, PHIL COLLINS, RICHARD MARX.
THERE WAS AN INNOCENCE TO IT.
>> IT SUCKED.
THE GIRLS DRESS A LOT BETTER NOW, THOUGH.
>> YEAH.
YOU WOKE UP AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME.
THIS IS THE SLUT GENERATION.
MOST OF THESE GIRLS, THEIR ROLE MODELS ARE FAMOUS FOR HAVING SEX TAPES.
MY PARTNERS REALLY THE EXPERT IN THESE PLACES.
>> WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW?
[MUSIC CONTINUES] >> HI.
IM DR.
SEAN McNAMARA.
IM A PLASTIC SURGEON.
>> ARE YOU GUYS NARCS?
>> WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
>> NOW WE GET DRUNK.
TEQUILA.
BEST YOU HAVE.
[MUSIC CONTINUES] >> MMM.
>> TOMORROW, IM INTRODUCING YOU TO A TRIPLE STUFF BURRITO WITH SOUR CREAM.
>> I THINK WE SHOULD BUY A KFC FRANCHISE TOGETHER.
>> MMM.
>> SETTLE DOWN SOMEWHERE LIKE...FRESNO.
AND NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
>> [CHUCKLES] SOUNDS GOOD.
FAT AND HAPPY EVER AFTER.
>> FAT AND HAPPY.
AND UGLY.
>> MMM.
>> UH, WAIT A SECOND.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
>> OHH.
[TRAIN WHISTLE IN DISTANCE] [DOOR CLOSES] [WATER RUNNING] >> YOU BETTER NOT BE PUKING YOUR GUTS OUT IN THERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING SWEET, DO YOU?
[WATER STOPS RUNNING] [CLATTERING] >> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> HMM?
HOLY SHIT.
>> YEAH.
I CANT BELIEVE I DID IT.
BUT I DID IT.
IT WORKED.
IM UGLY, RIGHT?
>> YOU'RE, UM, IMPULSIVE.
WHICH IS VERY HOT.
AHH.
>> THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!
>> HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE, LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE >> HEY.
I GOTTA--I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU STAY, IM GONNA GO.
[VOCALIZING] >> WHAT THE HELL...
[DOOR OPENS] >> OH, HEY.
>> OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D STILL BE HERE.
>> OH, WELL, IT TOOK A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO.
ACTUALLY, THE MOVERS JUST LEFT.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OH, YOU HATE IT.
OH.
>> THIS IS HOW YOU SEE ME?
>> WELL, OLD-FASHIONED GENTLEMAN WITH A HINT OF OLD-WORLD GLAMOUR, YEAH.
>> OLD-FASHIONED.
OLD WORLD.
OLD PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT, RIGHT?
>> SEAN...
THINK OF CLARK GABLE.
OR RUDOLPH VALENTINO.
IF THOSE GUYS HAD A BACHELOR PAD, THEYD TOTALLY DECORATE IT LIKE THIS.
>> [SIGHS] >> ALL RIGHT, YOU HATE IT.
IM SORRY IF ITS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL.
>> KIMBER...
SO CAUGHT UP IN MYSELF, I WASN'T THINKING.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT IM REALLY LOOKING AT IT, IT IS PRETTY GREAT.
YOU GOT ME, OR SOMEBODY ID LIKE TO BE.
>> YEAH, NOW YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT.
>> NO, NO, NO.
HEY.
ITS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING I COULD HAVE IMAGINED.
BUT STRANGELY...RIGHT.
I THINK ILL LIKE COMING HOME TO THIS.
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> OH, THAT'S GREAT.
OH, SEAN, THANK YOU.
OHH.
MY GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I HAVE WORKED ON THIS.
>> WELL, YOU ARE TALENTED, KIMBER.
>> WELL, TELL THAT TO CHRISTIAN.
HE HATES HOW I REDID THE HOUSE.
OUR HOUSE, WHATEVER.
>> WELL, HE CAN BE TOUGH.
>> IM TERRIFIED OF MAKING MISTAKES, RIGHT?
LIKE, I COMPLETELY LOSE MY INSTINCTS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO HE 1IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, OR...
US AS A COUPLE.
ITS JUST SO FRUSTRATING.
BUT THANKS FOR BEING SWEET AND MAKING ME FEEL CONFIDENT.
>> DOESN'T TAKE MUCH.
A LITTLE SUNSHINE, A LITTLE WATERING.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
>> WELL...
UM, YOU KNOW, I DID THE LIBRARY BACK THERE, AND IT HAS THIS BEAUTIFUL, DARK CARVED WOOD...
>> SHOW ME THE BEDROOM FIRST.
MMM, >> MMM.
>> I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU THAT WE CANT DO THIS AGAIN!
>> OH, YEAH, WE CANT DO THIS ANYMORE, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> I MEAN, LIKE, WERE BAD.
LIKE, THIS IS REALLY BAD.
>> I KNOW.
THE WORST.
HOW COME I DON'T FEEL GUILTY?
>> OOH!
OH!
OH!
[CLATTERING] IS THAT HIM?
IS THAT CHRISTIAN?
>> YEAH.
WERE ONLY SEPARATED BY THIS WALL.
>> OH, I LIKE IT.
OH!
[BOTH MOANING] >> NOT EVEN FAST FOOD?
YOU GOTTA EAT.
>> WHY DO YOU NEED TO GO TO [INDISTINCT]?
>> ILL BE BACK IN A FLASH.
>> A FLASH?
>> MM-HMM, COME ON.
BIG OLD BURRITO SMOTHERED IN GUACAMOLE AND SOUR CREAM.
>> OK.
PULL THE CAR OUT FRONT.
MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS.
AHH.
[KIMBER AND SEAN GIGGLING] >> SEAN, WHO THE HELL YOU BANGING IN THERE?
>> OH, JUST YOUR WIFE, SWEETHEART.
>> HEY, WHATS UP?
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> WELL, SHES DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB ON THE APARTMENT, I WANTED TO ASK HER ADVICE ON A NEW DESK.
TIRED OF GLASS.
I WANT TO WARM IT UP IN HERE.
>> WHY WAS IT LOCKED?
>> UM, OH, I HAD JUST MENTIONED TO SEAN ABOUT THE NEW BRUSH NICKEL DOOR HARDWARE, AND SO I MUST HAVE JUST, YOU KNOW, HIT THE BUTTON.
>> BRUSH NICKEL?
>> HMM., >> LOOK, NO CHANGES WITHOUT ME, OK?
I GOTTA GO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING I FORGOT TO TAKE CARE OF BEFORE.
AND IF IM NOT BACK IN TIME, JUST START SURGERY WITHOUT ME, OK?
AHEM.
>> NO CHANGES WITHOUT MY OK?
WHAT KIND OF EGO TRIP IS HE ON?
>> WELL, ITS ALWAYS GOTTA BE THE CHRISTIAN TROY SHOW, EVEN MY OFFICE.
YOU WERE VERY COOL, MY DEAR.
>> MMM, WELL, ITS ALL MY YEARS OF ACTING.
>> YES.
MMM, >> OK, SO, SEAN, UM, ILL GET YOU SOME TEAR SHEETS ON THE WOOD DESKS.
>> FOR THIS STUFF, YOU NEED TO BYOB.
>> I DON'T DRINK BEER, REMEMBER.
>> I MEAN BRING YOUR OWN BEANO.
EATING LIKE A PIG IS ONE THING.
SMELLING LIKE THEM IS ANOTHER, OK?
STINKY WOMEN ARE A REAL TURN OFF.
>> I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.
>> AH.
ALL RIGHT.
WE GOT EVERYTHING.
>> WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO BE BACK AT WORK?
>> WHENEVER.
ITS NOT LIKE MY PARTNER HAS ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO.
>> THEN LETS HIT A MATINEE.
WELL WASTE THE WHOLE AFTERNOON.
YOU KNOW, A MOVIE THEATER IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN REALLY RELAX.
>> BECAUSE YOU SIT IN THE DARK AND NOBODY BOTHERS YOU, OR...
>> MAYBE.
MAYBE I JUST LIKE JUJU FRUITS.
>> [CHUCKLES] [RAP MUSIC PLAYING] >> [SPEAKING SPANISH] ...ALIEN NATION!
[LAUGHTER] >> [SPEAKING SPANISH] THAT'S RIGHT!
AYE!
>> HEY, HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT, BUDDY BOY.
>> [SPEAKING SPANISH] >> WHOA!
[SPEAKING SPANISH] >> GO!
GO!
[TIRES SQUEALING] >> YOU KNOW, UH, YOU CAN SLOW DOWN NOW.
>> I CANT DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE MYSELF.
IM SO SICK OF THIS FACE.
>> JESUS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU CRAZY BITCH?!
IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF, FINE, ALL RIGHT, BUT JUST LET ME OUT OF THE CAR!
>> SORRY, CHRISTIAN.
ITS THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR ME TO DO!
>> PLEASE STOP THE CAR, PLEASE STOP THE CAR!
JESUS, JESUS!
STOP!
[CRASH] >> THOSE GUYS AT THE E.R.
WERE AWESOME, BY THE WAY.
SHES LUCKY SHES ALIVE.
WHAT A CRAZY BITCH.
YOU'RE DRIVING ME BAT SHIT, SEAN.
>> DON'T MOVE.
>> OH, JESUS.
LIKE WAITING TO GET A SHOT, THE ANTICIPATION IS WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL NEEDLE.
JUST GO AHEAD AND SAY IT, ALL RIGHT?
I THINK WITH MY DICK.
I AM A DICK.
OK, SAY IT.
>> ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
>> SINCE WHEN IS ME SCREWING UP NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, HUH?
YOU THRIVE ON IT.
>> THAT SHOULD HEAL WITHOUT A SCAR.
>> I KNOW YOU.
YOU CAN PRETEND YOU DON'T CARE.
BUT I KNOW YOU DO.
>> THAT MAY HAVE BEEN TRUE ONCE.
>> COME ON, YOU CANT TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
>> I THINK ILL LEAVE THAT FOR KIMBER TO ASK.
SHES YOUR WIFE.
SHES THE ONE WHO MIGHT BE CURIOUS.
>> SHES THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME OUT OF THE GODDAMN DOOR.
>> AHEM.
>> SO TELL ME...
IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT ME THAT YOU STILL LIKE?
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
>> YOU'RE A SELF-RIGHTEOUS LITTLE PRICK, YOU KNOW THAT?
>> DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE ITS YOU WHO NEEDS ME TO BE ANGRY AT YOU?
>> QUITE FRANKLY, IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.
>> GOOD, CAUSE IM DONE BEING A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR CONSCIENCE.
I KNOW YOU CANT CHANGE.
>> PHHTT.
>> SO WE MET AT THE CLUB.
>> IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
BUT THEN WHEN HE TOLD ME HIS STORY, OH, MY GOD, IMAGINE HOW MUCH FUN IT WILL BE TO TEACH HIM ALL ABOUT THE LAST 20 YEARS.
OBAMA AND BRITNEY.
ALL THAT STUFF.
>> WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, RUPERT.
YOU DON'T NEED MY CONSENT TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
>> OH, FIANCE.
WERE ENGAGED.
>> WELL, ENGAGED TO BE ENGAGED.
I WANT TO GET MCKENZIE BREAST IMPLANTS.
>> A DIAMOND IS MORE TRADITIONAL.
>> MY RIGHT ONES A LITTLE SMALLER, AND IT SORT OF HAS THAT PANCAKE THING GOING ON.
>> ITS BEEN A STRUGGLE HER WHOLE LIFE.
>> RUPERT, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU ALONE FOR A MOMENT?
>> SHES AWESOME, ISNT SHE?
>> SHES USING YOU.
>> DUDE, YOU'RE WRONG.
WEVE BEEN DOING IT NONSTOP FOR LIKE TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.
>> YEAH, SEX IS NOT LOVE, OK?
ITS USUALLY NOT EVEN AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE.
SOMETIMES WOMEN AND MEN USE IT FOR LESS THAN INNOCENT PURPOSES.
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR 20 YEARS.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW WOMEN WORK.
>> OH, YOU DO?
I SAW YOUR MOVES ON THE DANCE FLOOR, IT WAS PRETTY MEDIOCRE.
>> I WAS MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS.
>> HOWD THAT TURN OUT?
>> LOOK, I'VE SLEPT WITH PLENTY OF WOMEN.
THE GOOD ONES DON'T ASK YOU TO BUY THEM NEW BREASTS ON THE FIRST DATE.
>> WELL, LOOK, THANK YOU FOR CARING, BUT IM GOING TO DO THIS.
SO DO YOU WANT MY BUSINESS OR WHAT?
>> OK.
ILL JUST GO GET A COUPLE OF SAMPLES.
I ASSUME SHE WANTS Ds?
>> YEAH!
HOWD YOU KNOW THAT?
>> THEY ALWAYS WANT Ds.
>> SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH HIM!
I DIDN'T TOUCH HIM, I SWEAR.
I JUST WANTED NEW TITS, I DIDN'T TOUCH HIM!
>> HE SLIPPED BACK INTO A COMA.
>> WELL, WHEN IS HE GOING TO WAKE UP?
>> [DIALING] >> OH, MY GOD!
BABY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
YOUR FACE!
>> IM FINE.
>> YOUR ARM...
>> IM FINE.
SERIOUSLY, I JUST-- A FEW SCRAPES, I WAS IN AN ACCIDENT.
I TRIED CALLING YOU.
YOU DIDN'T PICK UP YOUR PHONE.
>> I WAS--IM SORRY-- >> WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP YOUR PHONE?
YOU ALWAYS PICK UP YOUR PHONE WHEN I CALL YOU.
>> IM SORRY, I DON'T-- >> YOU IGNORING ME?
>> NO.
>> I GET IT.
I'VE BEEN SUCH AN ASSHOLE LATELY.
ESPECIALLY WITH THAT THING WITH SEAN.
>> WHAT THING WITH SEAN?
>> [CHUCKLES] HES YOUR FIRST REAL CLIENT, AND I-- I SHOULD-- I SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU, AND IM NOT, AND IM SORRY.
>> OH, HONEY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.
>> NO, I DO.
IM SORRY, OK?
>> WELL...
>> PLEASE.
>> UM, OK.
WHERES YOUR CAR?
IS IT TOTALED?
>> NO, IT WASN'T MY CAR.
I WAS A PASSENGER IN SOMEBODY ELSES CAR.
[EXHALES] >> WELL, ARE THEY OK?
WHO WAS IT?
>> THEYRE FINE.
I MEAN, I THINK, YOU KNOW.
IT WAS A CLIENT, WILLOW BANKS.
>> THE MODEL?
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
>> YOU WERE IN A CAR WITH WILLOW BANKS DURING THE DAY, AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK?
>> MM-HMM, GOOD NEWS IS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY LUNCH, SO, HA.
I THINK I LOST ABOUT 5 POUNDS.
[EXHALES] MAYBE I SHOULD GO TAKE A SHOWER.
>> MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE IT
DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS.
COULDN'T BELIEVE ID SLEPT THROUGH MOST OF MY LIFE.
ID BEEN UNCONSCIOUS FOR 22 YEARS.
SINCE 1989.
I WAS 18.
>> AND THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED AT A CONSTRUCTION SITE, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> YES, IT WAS A SUMMER JOB.
I WAS INSTALLING A CHURCH STEEPLE.
A CRANE COLLAPSED.
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT HITTING ME.
ONE SECOND, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, THE NEXT, PHHTT--LIGHTS OUT.
>> AND WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?
WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
>> JESUS, MAN, LOOK AT ME.
IM ANCIENT!
EVEN THOUGH MY BODY WAS ALIVE FOR 40 YEARS, I WAS ONLY AWAKE FOR 18.
>> AND YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE AN 18 YEAR OLD AGAIN?
>> I AM AN 18 YEAR OLD!
I HAD PLANS BEFORE I WENT IN THE COMA.
I WAS GONNA GO TO COLLEGE.
I WAS GONNA MEET A GIRL, HAVE A FAMILY.
HAVE A CAREER.
>> MR, KENNY...
>> SEE, THAT'S-- IM A MISTER.
IM A MISTER NOW.
[SIGHS] I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I SEE THIS OLD MAN LOOKING BACK AT ME.
AND IM LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?
WHO PUT ME IN YOUR BODY?"
I NEED YOU TO MAKE THE OUTSIDE MATCH THE INSIDE.
YOU CAN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO LIVE ALL THOSE YEARS THAT I LOST FOR THE FIRST TIME, FULLY AWAKE.
YOU CAN GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE.
>> AHH, MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL MAKE ME THE PERFECT SOUL, A PERFECT MIND, A PERFECT FACE, A PERFECT LIE [WATER RUNNING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [TV PLAYING] >> NOW MY LIFE WEARS OUT, AND I WONDER [INDISTINCT] LOOK LIKE THIS, THERE'S A KNOCK ON THE DOOR [SONG CONTINUES] [TV PLAYING] >> WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING READY?
>> READY?
FOR WHAT?
>> I HAVE A MEET AND GREET AT THE PACIFIC DESIGN CENTER TONIGHT.
I TOLD YOU THIS A WEEK AGO, YOU DON'T REMEMBER?
[SIGHS] CHRISTIAN, THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
I NEED TO MAKE CONTACTS TONIGHT, AND I HAD ALL OF THESE BUSINESS CARDS MADE.
>> "OVER 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE."
IN WHAT?
>> WELL, I HAD A LIFE BEFORE YOU AND I MET.
I DESIGNED ALL MY OWN MOVIE SETS.
>> OH.
[CHUCKLES] OK.
>> WELL, YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY THANKED ME FOR WHAT I'VE DONE HERE.
>> CANT IMAGINE HOW THAT SLIPPED MY MIND.
>> LOOK, I KNOW IT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF GETTING USED TO, BUT IN THE OVERCROWDED MARKETS IN L.A., YOU NEED TO MAKE BOLD STYLE CHOICES.
AND SPEAKING OF STYLE, COULD YOU PLEASE GET UP OFF THE COUCH AND GO GET DRESSED?
[TURNS ON TV] >> THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU TRIED TO DRAG ME OUT THIS WEEK, ALL RIGHT?
I DIDN'T GET MARRIED SO THAT YOU COULD GET ME IN A SUIT AND HAVE ME RUB ELBOWS WITH THE GREAT UNWASHED.
[TURNS OFF TV] >> ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, I GOT THE HOUSE, THE JOB, THE BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
JUST LET ME RELAX AND ENJOY MY LIFE.
[TURNS ON TV] [PUTS REMOTE CONTROL ON TABLE] >> OK.
>> AWESOME BALLGAME LAST NIGHT.
YOU GET TO CATCH IT?
>> IS THAT YOU?
>> HUH?
>> YOU STINK.
AND YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.
>> THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET READY THIS MORNING?
3 MINUTES.
GOT TO CATCH SPORTSCENTER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, DIDN'T CUT MYSELF SHAVING, DIDN'T HAVE TO SWING BY THE DRY CLEANERS ON MY WAY TO THE OFFICE.
>> YEAH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE.
>> I AM DONE GETTING UP AT 6:00 EVERY DAY, GETTING READY FOR WORK.
SHOWER, SHAVE, DO THE HAIR, PRESS THE SUIT.
ALL THAT BULLSHITS HARD ON A MAN.
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT THAT THING, BY THE WAY?
>> TRYING TO FIND A BED.
ONLY HAVE A MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW.
>> A MAN OVER THIRTY SHOULD NEVER BUY ANYTHING THAT HE HAS TO PUT TOGETHER, PARTICULARLY FROM THE SWEDES.
>> MM-HMM, JULIA USED TO BUY OUR FURNITURE.
NEVER REALLY HAD TO DO THIS BEFORE.
NEVER HAD MY OWN PLACE UNTIL NOW.
>> HA, CALL MY WIFE.
SHE APPARENTLY IS AN INTERIOR DESIGNER NOW.
>> KIMBER?
>> MATTER OF FACT...
YOU'D BE DOING ME A HUGE FAVOR.
SHES BEING A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS.
DO YOU MIND GIVING HER A BUZZ?
HUH?
>> EXCUSE ME.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A HALF HOUR.
SHOULD I RESCHEDULE?
>> I TOLD YOU ALREADY, WELL BE WITH YOU AS SOON AS WE CAN.
>> HI.
>> HI.
>> SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, MRS., UM-- >> BANKS.
>> BANKS.
>> WILLOW BANKS.
>> WILLOW BANKS.
WOW.
BEAUTIFUL.
DR.
CHRISTIAN TROY.
[CHUCKLES] YOU A MODEL?
>> I WAS.
>> GREAT.
>> ID LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE RECEPTIONIST.
SHE CAN BE A REAL BITCH SOMETIMES.
>> DR.
TROY-- >> DO IT AGAIN, YOU'RE FIRED.
OK?
[MURMURING] SHALL WE?
>> YEAH.
PLEASE DON'T FIRE HER ON MY ACCOUNT.
WOMEN ALWAYS SEEM TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT.
>> MAYBE ILL GIVE HER A RAISE.
[CHUCKLES] AHH.
>> MAYBE I SHOULD BANG THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT HERE ON THIS DESK.
DR.
TROY?
DR.
TROY?
EXCUSE ME?
>> YES.
SO...
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MS.
BANKS?
ID ASK YOU WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF, BUT YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD TO ME.
[CHUCKLES] >> WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM.
>> RIGHT.
>> IM TIRED OF ALL THE ATTENTION I GET BECAUSE OF THE WAY I LOOK.
IM TIRED OF EVERY GUY I MEET EITHER BEING TOO INTIMIDATED TO TALK TO ME, OR THINK THAT HE CAN JUST STROLL UP AND ASK ME OUT.
>> HMM., >> I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES A GUY HAS TRIED SOME CHEESY PICK-UP LINE OR HOWLED LIKE A DOG AS I WALK BY.
I MEAN, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST A LITTLE CONVERSATION BEFORE TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE ENVISIONING ME NAKED?
>> [SIGHS] >> AND IM TIRED OF NOT HAVING ANY GIRLFRIENDS BECAUSE THEY THINK I MAKE THEM LOOK BAD.
I JUST...I CANT BE PERFECT ANYMORE.
I WANT TO BE UNPERFECT.
>> UNPERFECT?
>> MM-HMM.
YEAH.
>> [CHUCKLES] WELL, THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER HEARD.
[LAUGHS] PEOPLE COME IN HERE EVERY DAY ASKING FOR WHAT YOU HAVE.
THEY WANT YOUR FACE.
>> WELL, I DON'T.
NOT ANY LONGER.
ITS JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE, DR.
TROY.
I FEEL LIKE IM ONSTAGE ALL THE TIME.
I EVEN QUIT MODELING, AND THAT HASNT HELPED.
LOOK, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET AND BE IGNORED.
I WANT TO BE NORMAL LOOKING.
I WANT TO BE AVERAGE.
>> WHAT ABOUT PUTTING ON A COUPLE OF POUNDS?
YOU KNOW, A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> I DON'T EAT RED MEAT.
>> ICE CREAM.
>> IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT.
>> JESUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.
JUST TAKE WORSE CARE OF YOURSELF.
LIKE SOME NUTS?
>> NO, THANKS.
>> COME ON, YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT.
>> LOOK, I SAID I WANTED TO BE UNBEAUTIFUL, NOT UNHEALTHY.
>> OK.
>> AND I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE SUPERFICIAL CHANGES.
IM NOT WEARING ANY MAKE-UP, I HAVEN'T WASHED MY HAIR IN LIKE A WEEK.
I MEAN, LOOK AT WHAT IM WEARING, FOR CHRIST SAKES.
AND STILL, YOUR PARKING VALET GAVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER.
>> WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY A LITTLE HARDER, BECAUSE LOOKING THE WAY YOU LOOK, I WOULD NEVER TOUCH YOU WITH A SCALPEL.
AND GOOD LUCK FINDING A DOCTOR WHO WOULD.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] >> PHEW.
>> HEY.
>> HEY.
>> OH, HELLO.
HEH.
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK?
>> NO, NO, NO.
COME IN, COME IN.
>> YOU SURE?
OK.
>> I JUST GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.
>> WORKING OUT?
>> YEAH.
ITS KIND OF A METAPHOR FOR MY LIFE THESE DAYS.
YOU WANT SOME WATER?
>> OH, NO, THANKS.
IM GOOD.
>> I JUST KEEP RUNNING AND RUNNING WITHOUT A CLUE WHERE IM GOING.
>> WELL, AT LEAST YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR BODY.
CHRISTIANS AT HOME LAYING ON THE COUCH DRINKING BEER LIKE A FAT SLOB.
SEEMS HES GIVEN UP.
>> WELL, MAYBE THAT'S HIS WAY OF SAYING HES HAPPY.
>> OR MAYBE ITS HIS WAY OF TELLING ME HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT I THINK.
AH.
>> WELL, HE IS PROUD OF YOU, KIMBER.
>> I SUPPOSE.
WELL, OK.
I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I PUT TOGETHER.
DO YOU MIND?
>> NO, NO.
YEAH, YEAH.
>> FIRST ONE.
>> OH.
NOW, SEE, THIS IS A LITTLE MORE CHRISTIAN THAN ME, DON'T YOU THINK?
>> ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOUR TASTES?
LIKE, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE SEAN McNAMARA?
>> [CHUCKLES] WELL, HOW WOULD I KNOW?
IM JUST A DOCTOR.
>> WELL, YOU'RE MORE THAN THAT.
WHAT ABOUT LIKE AN ARTSY, INTELLECTUAL, MID-CENTURY TYPE OF GUY?
>> HMM., >> HMM?
OR YOU COULD DO KIND OF A HOMEY, KICK-BACK, COUNTRY FRENCH LOOK?
>> LOOK, DO I NEED TO GO TO THERAPY JUST TO GET SOME FURNITURE FOR THIS PLACE?
THAT'S WHY I HIRED YOU.
>> NO, ITS JUST, IN DESIGN SCHOOL, THEY REALLY EMPHASIZE ON LISTENING TO THE CLIENT.
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOUR LIKES, DISLIKES, COLORS.
>> YEAH, WELL, THIS PARTICULAR CLIENT HAS NO SELF, IT SEEMS.
HES ARRIVED IN HIS 45th YEAR WITH NO OPINIONS OR TASTE OF HIS OWN.
HE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME IN EVERYONE ELSES SHADOW.
KIMBER, JUST DO YOUR THING.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU THINK.
LET YOUR IMAGINATION GO, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION.
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> OK.
WELL, I THINK I CAN DO SOMETHING IN HERE.
THANK YOU.
I PROMISE YOU, IM GOING TO BLOW YOU AWAY WITH THIS PLACE, OK?
>> I HAVE TOTAL FAITH IN YOU.
>> THANKS.
ILL SEE YOU LATER.
>> OK.
>> BYE.
>> BYE.
>> [CHUCKLES] SEE YA.
>> SEE YA.
[MUSIC PLAYING] [MONITOR BEEPING] >> IT REALLY IS A MIRACLE.
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY.
99% OF COMAS THAT LAST MORE THAN THREE YEARS ARE PERMANENT.
>> NO, I MEAN BECAUSE HE CAN STEAL $40,000 FROM US JUST LYING ON THIS TABLE.
ITS--ITS MIRACULOUS.
>> THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL PRO-BONO CASE.
THE WEAR AND TEAR ON HIS FACE IS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE NORM BECAUSE OF HIS PRONE POSITION.
>> OK, WERE DOING A RHYTIDECTOMY WITH AN S.M.A.S.
PLICATION.
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE CAN NOW CORNER THE MARKET ON RIP VAN WINKLES.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
MADE UP A LOT OF NEW EXPENSES.
YOU KNOW, IM JUST TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE.
>> AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, IM NOT COMPROMISING ON WORK I FIND INTERESTING AND REWARDING SO YOU CAN HAVE NEW TOYS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT MONEY.
I JUST GOT KIMBERS FIRST BILL.
>> WELL, UNLIKE MR.
KENNY, YOU'RE NOT A CHARITY CASE, OK?
DID YOU THINK SHE WAS GOING TO WORK FOR FREE?
>> THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRO-BONO AND BLEEDING ME DRY.
IM HER FIRST CLIENT, AND I ONLY HIRED HER AS A FAVOR TO YOU.
>> YOU KNOW, IF I HAD HAVE KNOWN YOU'D BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS, I NEVER WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE?
>> HUH?
>> ID LIKE TO FINISH THIS ON MY OWN.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> IM TIRED OF THE WITTY BANTER AND THE BACK AND FORTH AND YOU TELLING ME ALL THE WAYS IM MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, ID LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME FOCUSING ON MY WORK.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> YES.
>> JESUS!
>> WAIT A SECOND, DON'T PUSH IT.
ITS GONNA GET DIRTY.
>> DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE REDOING THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN.
>> NO, NO, THIS IS FOR SEAN.
I HAVE TO GO THERE LATER AND FINISH.
>> WELL, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO STAY HOME AND WATCH SOME TELEVISION TOGETHER.
>> HONEY, I TOLD YOU, I HAVE A CLIENT DEADLINE.
>> [SCOFFS] CLIENT?
HES NOT A CLIENT, HES SEAN.
THE ONLY REASON HE GAVE YOU THE JOB WAS BECAUSE I ASKED HIM TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>> WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT HE TOLD ME.
[SIGHS] OK.
DAMN IT, I CANT FIND THE SWATCHES.
CHRISTIAN, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?
>> LOOK, I TOLD SEAN TO CALL YOU BEFORE YOU GOT BOOKED UP, THAT'S ALL, ALL RIGHT?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT, BY THE WAY.
I MEAN, YOU WORKING AGAIN WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY, NOT MISERABLE.
NOW YOU FEEL MISERABLE AND I FEEL MISERABLE, AND...
ITS NOT GOOD.
MAYBE WE SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER OR SOMETHING.
>> [SCOFFS] AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER WITH THAT GIANT GUT OF YOURS IN BETWEEN US?
>> WHAT?
I HAVE A GUT?
>> AND THAT STUBBLE YOU'VE GOT GOING ON?
YOU THINK I LIKE THAT RUBBING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS?
>> I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THE BEARD.
>> IM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR BEARD, CHRISTIAN.
IM TALKING ABOUT YOUR BALLS.
YOU USED TO SHAVE THEM FOR ME.
NOW IM LUCKY IF YOU EVEN RUN A COMB THROUGH YOUR HAIR BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.
THIS WHOLE NEW CHRISTIAN LOOK ISNT EXACTLY WORKING FOR ME.
SO MAYBE IF YOU COULD REDISCOVER A BRUSH, OR, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE A RAZOR...
UNTIL THEN, YOU'RE NOT DOING ME EITHER, OK?
OH, DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME, CAUSE IM GONNA BE LATE.
>> YOU LOOK GOOD.
>> HEY.
AH.
SORRY.
I, UH--LINDA GAVE ME THIS, AND...I USED TO THINK THE WALKMAN WAS COOL.
>> [CHUCKLES] HAVE A SEAT.
I WANT A LAST LITTLE LOOK, SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY WITH A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH.
>> MY MOM STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE LOOKED AT ME.
SHE SAID LOOKING AT ME MADE HER FEEL 20 YEARS YOUNGER.
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT 20.
BUT WE DEFINITELY CHOPPED OFF AT LEAST 10.
SO, WHATS NEXT ON YOUR AGENDA?
>> ITS ALL PRETTY WEIRD.
ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE GROWN AND HAVE FAMILIES AND CAREERS, AND A LOT OF THEM HAVE MOVED AWAY.
SO I REALLY WANT TO MEET SOMEONE MY OWN AGE.
EARLY TWENTIES, MAYBE.
I DON'T WANT TO AIM TOO HIGH.
BUT I FIGURED ID GO TO THE CLUBS AND SEE IF I WAS ANY BETTER OF A DANCER THAN I USED TO BE.
>> ANY SUGGESTIONS?
>> NO, NOT REALLY.
I TRAVEL IN A SLIGHTLY OLDER CIRCLE.
>> OH.
>> BEST OF LUCK, THOUGH.
>> THANK YOU.
I FEEL LIKE A FREAK.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GIRLS LIKE TODAY.
YOU KNOW, TEXTING, CELL PHONES, GOOGLE.
ITS ALL PRETTY...
NERVE WRACKING.
>> WELL, ITS KIND OF LIKE RIDING A BIKE.
IM SURE YOU'LL BE FINE.
>> EXCEPT I'VE NEVER RIDDEN A BIKE.
SO TO SPEAK.
>> SO YOU'RE...
>> YEAH.
A 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN.
OH.
COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
COULD HAVE DIED ONE.
>> I KNOW A PLACE THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE.
THEY EVEN LET OLD GUYS LIKE ME IN.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] >> OH.
HI.
>> HI.
>> UM, DID YOU COME FIND ME TO TELL ME THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT MY SURGERY, OR...
>> NO, ACTUALLY, I CAME TO CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THE SURGERY.
>> THAT WONT HAPPEN.
I ALREADY HAVE TWO MORE APPOINTMENTS WITH PLASTIC SURGEONS NEXT WEEK, DR.
TROY.
SO-- >> YOU CAN CALL ME CHRISTIAN.
>> HMM., >> IM NOT HERE AS YOUR DOCTOR.
[CHUCKLES] YOU DO LIKE WINE, DON'T YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH?
WELL, THIS IS, UH, REALLY NICE.
GOES PERFECTLY WITH THE COLONELS SPECIAL RECIPE.
>> I'VE ALREADY EATEN, BUT THANK YOU.
>> OH, OK.
WELL, THAT'S MORE FOR ME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> HUH?
>> YOU KNOW, ITS SATURDAY NIGHT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IM NOT GOING OUT?
>> YOU DON'T LIKE AGGRESSIVE MEN, AND THERE'S MORE AGGRESSIVE AND DRUNK MEN OUT ON A SATURDAY NIGHT THAN ANY OTHER NIGHT OF THE WEEK.
SO WHY DON'T YOU DO US BOTH A FAVOR, JUST QUIT YOUR YAPPIN, GRAB A COUPLE OF GLASSES AND A CORKSCREW, AND COME SIT YOUR LITTLE ASS DOWN ON THE COUCH.
>> SEEMS LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT TO FIND AN AGGRESSIVE MAN.
>> OK.
COME TO PAPA.
HA HA HA.
AH.
>> AHH.
>> I DON'T THINK I'VE HAD FRIED CHICKEN SINCE I WAS IN, LIKE, HIGH SCHOOL.
BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE REMOVING THE SKIN.
THAT'S WHERE ALL THE FAT IS.
>> THAT'S WHERE ALL THE TASTE IS.
AHH.
OK.
MMM, >> UGH.
>> MMM.
MMM, WOW.
OH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO TRY SOME OF THIS?
>> YEAH, NO.
>> MMM, MMM, >> OK.
GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE.
>> MM-HMM, [MUSIC PLAYING] >> ONE THING THAT I JUST CANT SEE IS HOW TO TOUCH A GIRL >> THE MUSICS PRETTY COOL.
WHAT IS THIS?
>> TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I THINK THE LAST TIME I BOUGHT A CD, YOU WERE STILL AWAKE.
IM MOSTLY INTO POP MUSIC FROM THE LATE EIGHTIES.
YOU KNOW, PHIL COLLINS, RICHARD MARX.
THERE WAS AN INNOCENCE TO IT.
>> IT SUCKED.
THE GIRLS DRESS A LOT BETTER NOW, THOUGH.
>> YEAH.
YOU WOKE UP AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME.
THIS IS THE SLUT GENERATION.
MOST OF THESE GIRLS, THEIR ROLE MODELS ARE FAMOUS FOR HAVING SEX TAPES.
MY PARTNERS REALLY THE EXPERT IN THESE PLACES.
>> WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW?
[MUSIC CONTINUES] >> HI.
IM DR.
SEAN McNAMARA.
IM A PLASTIC SURGEON.
>> ARE YOU GUYS NARCS?
>> WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
>> NOW WE GET DRUNK.
TEQUILA.
BEST YOU HAVE.
[MUSIC CONTINUES] >> MMM.
>> TOMORROW, IM INTRODUCING YOU TO A TRIPLE STUFF BURRITO WITH SOUR CREAM.
>> I THINK WE SHOULD BUY A KFC FRANCHISE TOGETHER.
>> MMM.
>> SETTLE DOWN SOMEWHERE LIKE...FRESNO.
AND NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
>> [CHUCKLES] SOUNDS GOOD.
FAT AND HAPPY EVER AFTER.
>> FAT AND HAPPY.
AND UGLY.
>> MMM.
>> UH, WAIT A SECOND.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
>> OHH.
[TRAIN WHISTLE IN DISTANCE] [DOOR CLOSES] [WATER RUNNING] >> YOU BETTER NOT BE PUKING YOUR GUTS OUT IN THERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING SWEET, DO YOU?
[WATER STOPS RUNNING] [CLATTERING] >> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> HMM?
HOLY SHIT.
>> YEAH.
I CANT BELIEVE I DID IT.
BUT I DID IT.
IT WORKED.
IM UGLY, RIGHT?
>> YOU'RE, UM, IMPULSIVE.
WHICH IS VERY HOT.
AHH.
>> THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!
>> HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE, LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE >> HEY.
I GOTTA--I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU STAY, IM GONNA GO.
[VOCALIZING] >> WHAT THE HELL...
[DOOR OPENS] >> OH, HEY.
>> OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D STILL BE HERE.
>> OH, WELL, IT TOOK A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO.
ACTUALLY, THE MOVERS JUST LEFT.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OH, YOU HATE IT.
OH.
>> THIS IS HOW YOU SEE ME?
>> WELL, OLD-FASHIONED GENTLEMAN WITH A HINT OF OLD-WORLD GLAMOUR, YEAH.
>> OLD-FASHIONED.
OLD WORLD.
OLD PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT, RIGHT?
>> SEAN...
THINK OF CLARK GABLE.
OR RUDOLPH VALENTINO.
IF THOSE GUYS HAD A BACHELOR PAD, THEYD TOTALLY DECORATE IT LIKE THIS.
>> [SIGHS] >> ALL RIGHT, YOU HATE IT.
IM SORRY IF ITS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL.
>> KIMBER...
SO CAUGHT UP IN MYSELF, I WASN'T THINKING.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT IM REALLY LOOKING AT IT, IT IS PRETTY GREAT.
YOU GOT ME, OR SOMEBODY ID LIKE TO BE.
>> YEAH, NOW YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT.
>> NO, NO, NO.
HEY.
ITS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING I COULD HAVE IMAGINED.
BUT STRANGELY...RIGHT.
I THINK ILL LIKE COMING HOME TO THIS.
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> OH, THAT'S GREAT.
OH, SEAN, THANK YOU.
OHH.
MY GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I HAVE WORKED ON THIS.
>> WELL, YOU ARE TALENTED, KIMBER.
>> WELL, TELL THAT TO CHRISTIAN.
HE HATES HOW I REDID THE HOUSE.
OUR HOUSE, WHATEVER.
>> WELL, HE CAN BE TOUGH.
>> IM TERRIFIED OF MAKING MISTAKES, RIGHT?
LIKE, I COMPLETELY LOSE MY INSTINCTS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO HE 1IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, OR...
US AS A COUPLE.
ITS JUST SO FRUSTRATING.
BUT THANKS FOR BEING SWEET AND MAKING ME FEEL CONFIDENT.
>> DOESN'T TAKE MUCH.
A LITTLE SUNSHINE, A LITTLE WATERING.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
>> WELL...
UM, YOU KNOW, I DID THE LIBRARY BACK THERE, AND IT HAS THIS BEAUTIFUL, DARK CARVED WOOD...
>> SHOW ME THE BEDROOM FIRST.
MMM, >> MMM.
>> I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU THAT WE CANT DO THIS AGAIN!
>> OH, YEAH, WE CANT DO THIS ANYMORE, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> I MEAN, LIKE, WERE BAD.
LIKE, THIS IS REALLY BAD.
>> I KNOW.
THE WORST.
HOW COME I DON'T FEEL GUILTY?
>> OOH!
OH!
OH!
[CLATTERING] IS THAT HIM?
IS THAT CHRISTIAN?
>> YEAH.
WERE ONLY SEPARATED BY THIS WALL.
>> OH, I LIKE IT.
OH!
[BOTH MOANING] >> NOT EVEN FAST FOOD?
YOU GOTTA EAT.
>> WHY DO YOU NEED TO GO TO [INDISTINCT]?
>> ILL BE BACK IN A FLASH.
>> A FLASH?
>> MM-HMM, COME ON.
BIG OLD BURRITO SMOTHERED IN GUACAMOLE AND SOUR CREAM.
>> OK.
PULL THE CAR OUT FRONT.
MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS.
AHH.
[KIMBER AND SEAN GIGGLING] >> SEAN, WHO THE HELL YOU BANGING IN THERE?
>> OH, JUST YOUR WIFE, SWEETHEART.
>> HEY, WHATS UP?
>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> WELL, SHES DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB ON THE APARTMENT, I WANTED TO ASK HER ADVICE ON A NEW DESK.
TIRED OF GLASS.
I WANT TO WARM IT UP IN HERE.
>> WHY WAS IT LOCKED?
>> UM, OH, I HAD JUST MENTIONED TO SEAN ABOUT THE NEW BRUSH NICKEL DOOR HARDWARE, AND SO I MUST HAVE JUST, YOU KNOW, HIT THE BUTTON.
>> BRUSH NICKEL?
>> HMM., >> LOOK, NO CHANGES WITHOUT ME, OK?
I GOTTA GO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING I FORGOT TO TAKE CARE OF BEFORE.
AND IF IM NOT BACK IN TIME, JUST START SURGERY WITHOUT ME, OK?
AHEM.
>> NO CHANGES WITHOUT MY OK?
WHAT KIND OF EGO TRIP IS HE ON?
>> WELL, ITS ALWAYS GOTTA BE THE CHRISTIAN TROY SHOW, EVEN MY OFFICE.
YOU WERE VERY COOL, MY DEAR.
>> MMM, WELL, ITS ALL MY YEARS OF ACTING.
>> YES.
MMM, >> OK, SO, SEAN, UM, ILL GET YOU SOME TEAR SHEETS ON THE WOOD DESKS.
>> FOR THIS STUFF, YOU NEED TO BYOB.
>> I DON'T DRINK BEER, REMEMBER.
>> I MEAN BRING YOUR OWN BEANO.
EATING LIKE A PIG IS ONE THING.
SMELLING LIKE THEM IS ANOTHER, OK?
STINKY WOMEN ARE A REAL TURN OFF.
>> I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.
>> AH.
ALL RIGHT.
WE GOT EVERYTHING.
>> WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO BE BACK AT WORK?
>> WHENEVER.
ITS NOT LIKE MY PARTNER HAS ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO.
>> THEN LETS HIT A MATINEE.
WELL WASTE THE WHOLE AFTERNOON.
YOU KNOW, A MOVIE THEATER IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN REALLY RELAX.
>> BECAUSE YOU SIT IN THE DARK AND NOBODY BOTHERS YOU, OR...
>> MAYBE.
MAYBE I JUST LIKE JUJU FRUITS.
>> [CHUCKLES] [RAP MUSIC PLAYING] >> [SPEAKING SPANISH] ...ALIEN NATION!
[LAUGHTER] >> [SPEAKING SPANISH] THAT'S RIGHT!
AYE!
>> HEY, HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT, BUDDY BOY.
>> [SPEAKING SPANISH] >> WHOA!
[SPEAKING SPANISH] >> GO!
GO!
[TIRES SQUEALING] >> YOU KNOW, UH, YOU CAN SLOW DOWN NOW.
>> I CANT DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE MYSELF.
IM SO SICK OF THIS FACE.
>> JESUS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU CRAZY BITCH?!
IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF, FINE, ALL RIGHT, BUT JUST LET ME OUT OF THE CAR!
>> SORRY, CHRISTIAN.
ITS THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR ME TO DO!
>> PLEASE STOP THE CAR, PLEASE STOP THE CAR!
JESUS, JESUS!
STOP!
[CRASH] >> THOSE GUYS AT THE E.R.
WERE AWESOME, BY THE WAY.
SHES LUCKY SHES ALIVE.
WHAT A CRAZY BITCH.
YOU'RE DRIVING ME BAT SHIT, SEAN.
>> DON'T MOVE.
>> OH, JESUS.
LIKE WAITING TO GET A SHOT, THE ANTICIPATION IS WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL NEEDLE.
JUST GO AHEAD AND SAY IT, ALL RIGHT?
I THINK WITH MY DICK.
I AM A DICK.
OK, SAY IT.
>> ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
>> SINCE WHEN IS ME SCREWING UP NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, HUH?
YOU THRIVE ON IT.
>> THAT SHOULD HEAL WITHOUT A SCAR.
>> I KNOW YOU.
YOU CAN PRETEND YOU DON'T CARE.
BUT I KNOW YOU DO.
>> THAT MAY HAVE BEEN TRUE ONCE.
>> COME ON, YOU CANT TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
>> I THINK ILL LEAVE THAT FOR KIMBER TO ASK.
SHES YOUR WIFE.
SHES THE ONE WHO MIGHT BE CURIOUS.
>> SHES THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME OUT OF THE GODDAMN DOOR.
>> AHEM.
>> SO TELL ME...
IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT ME THAT YOU STILL LIKE?
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
>> YOU'RE A SELF-RIGHTEOUS LITTLE PRICK, YOU KNOW THAT?
>> DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE ITS YOU WHO NEEDS ME TO BE ANGRY AT YOU?
>> QUITE FRANKLY, IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.
>> GOOD, CAUSE IM DONE BEING A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR CONSCIENCE.
I KNOW YOU CANT CHANGE.
>> PHHTT.
>> SO WE MET AT THE CLUB.
>> IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
BUT THEN WHEN HE TOLD ME HIS STORY, OH, MY GOD, IMAGINE HOW MUCH FUN IT WILL BE TO TEACH HIM ALL ABOUT THE LAST 20 YEARS.
OBAMA AND BRITNEY.
ALL THAT STUFF.
>> WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, RUPERT.
YOU DON'T NEED MY CONSENT TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
>> OH, FIANCE.
WERE ENGAGED.
>> WELL, ENGAGED TO BE ENGAGED.
I WANT TO GET MCKENZIE BREAST IMPLANTS.
>> A DIAMOND IS MORE TRADITIONAL.
>> MY RIGHT ONES A LITTLE SMALLER, AND IT SORT OF HAS THAT PANCAKE THING GOING ON.
>> ITS BEEN A STRUGGLE HER WHOLE LIFE.
>> RUPERT, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU ALONE FOR A MOMENT?
>> SHES AWESOME, ISNT SHE?
>> SHES USING YOU.
>> DUDE, YOU'RE WRONG.
WEVE BEEN DOING IT NONSTOP FOR LIKE TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.
>> YEAH, SEX IS NOT LOVE, OK?
ITS USUALLY NOT EVEN AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE.
SOMETIMES WOMEN AND MEN USE IT FOR LESS THAN INNOCENT PURPOSES.
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR 20 YEARS.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW WOMEN WORK.
>> OH, YOU DO?
I SAW YOUR MOVES ON THE DANCE FLOOR, IT WAS PRETTY MEDIOCRE.
>> I WAS MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS.
>> HOWD THAT TURN OUT?
>> LOOK, I'VE SLEPT WITH PLENTY OF WOMEN.
THE GOOD ONES DON'T ASK YOU TO BUY THEM NEW BREASTS ON THE FIRST DATE.
>> WELL, LOOK, THANK YOU FOR CARING, BUT IM GOING TO DO THIS.
SO DO YOU WANT MY BUSINESS OR WHAT?
>> OK.
ILL JUST GO GET A COUPLE OF SAMPLES.
I ASSUME SHE WANTS Ds?
>> YEAH!
HOWD YOU KNOW THAT?
>> THEY ALWAYS WANT Ds.
>> SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH HIM!
I DIDN'T TOUCH HIM, I SWEAR.
I JUST WANTED NEW TITS, I DIDN'T TOUCH HIM!
>> HE SLIPPED BACK INTO A COMA.
>> WELL, WHEN IS HE GOING TO WAKE UP?
>> [DIALING] >> OH, MY GOD!
BABY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
YOUR FACE!
>> IM FINE.
>> YOUR ARM...
>> IM FINE.
SERIOUSLY, I JUST-- A FEW SCRAPES, I WAS IN AN ACCIDENT.
I TRIED CALLING YOU.
YOU DIDN'T PICK UP YOUR PHONE.
>> I WAS--IM SORRY-- >> WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP YOUR PHONE?
YOU ALWAYS PICK UP YOUR PHONE WHEN I CALL YOU.
>> IM SORRY, I DON'T-- >> YOU IGNORING ME?
>> NO.
>> I GET IT.
I'VE BEEN SUCH AN ASSHOLE LATELY.
ESPECIALLY WITH THAT THING WITH SEAN.
>> WHAT THING WITH SEAN?
>> [CHUCKLES] HES YOUR FIRST REAL CLIENT, AND I-- I SHOULD-- I SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU, AND IM NOT, AND IM SORRY.
>> OH, HONEY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.
>> NO, I DO.
IM SORRY, OK?
>> WELL...
>> PLEASE.
>> UM, OK.
WHERES YOUR CAR?
IS IT TOTALED?
>> NO, IT WASN'T MY CAR.
I WAS A PASSENGER IN SOMEBODY ELSES CAR.
[EXHALES] >> WELL, ARE THEY OK?
WHO WAS IT?
>> THEYRE FINE.
I MEAN, I THINK, YOU KNOW.
IT WAS A CLIENT, WILLOW BANKS.
>> THE MODEL?
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
>> YOU WERE IN A CAR WITH WILLOW BANKS DURING THE DAY, AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK?
>> MM-HMM, GOOD NEWS IS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY LUNCH, SO, HA.
I THINK I LOST ABOUT 5 POUNDS.
[EXHALES] MAYBE I SHOULD GO TAKE A SHOWER.
>> MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE IT