Programa de TV: Will & Grace - 5x4
Previously on Will & Grace...
Grace and I are really focused on this baby right now and we've made an agreement-- no dating Two weeks ago, I wanted this baby more than anything And now, I'm just-- I'm so confused Oh, I can't believe this This is only the most important thing we've ever done together and you flake out on me?
I don't know why that's surprising-- you're a flake All I asked for was one month-- one month to see where this is going Oh, let me tell you where this is going You'll end up hating him in three weeks because I don't know, he has a weird chest hair pattern or he doesn't like watching "E!"
Or he'll end up hating you because you're too needy Then you'll fall apart I'll pick you up and then, magically you'll be ready to have a baby Look, I'm sorry that I met someone 'cause I know how much you hate it when I'm happy Oh, that is such a load!
Admit it You're happiest when I'm miserable I mean, come on Isn't that our thing?
Because then you don't have to look at how miserable you are Shut up, Grace!
But I am not gonna be miserable for you I am gonna try to be happy And if you can't deal with that then you are even more pathetic than I thought Get outta here Go to hell!
No, I mean it!
I want you outta here in two weeks You don't live here anymore I don't know how much longer I can live with Will I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he's like "Jack, get the hell out."
I know, honey Grace is driving me nuts, too She can't concentrate on work anymore Mm-mm She just sits around all day doodling pictures of people's houses on these enormous sketch pads And then, she's on the phone all the time ordering furniture?
Honey, where's she gonna put all that, huh?
In these "houses" she's drawing?
Oh...
So we need to get them back together-- But how?
Pretend to think, pretend to think Pretend to care, pretend to care Ooh, I got it What we need is a plan Some way to get them in the same room together Oh, honey, that's genius Write that down Oh, wait, not on that That's for Will and Grace That's an invitation to Joe and Larry's kid's birthday party Oh, yeah, I got one of these, too Anyway, enough about that Yeah We have to figure out a way to get them in the same room so they can work it out But how?
How?
Ow!
I just got a paper cut on this party invitation for Will and Grace Focus!
We're trying to get them in the same room together Forget about this party they're both invited to Now, what do they both like?
Well, Will likes to be taller than everybody and Grace likes to eat cake Where can we take them where there'll be small people eating cake?
Oh!
Shoot, I just spilled on this invitation to a child's birthday party Hey...
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I don't know Are you thinking what it would be like to have Spiderman spray his web on you?
Okay, that's just freaky Okay, that's crazy You sure you don't wanna go to Joe and Larry's kid's party?
You'll tower over people I do like to feel tall Ah, I don't know Grace and I already said we weren't going and besides I don't think I'd be very good company right now, anyway Okay...
But, uh, when couples split one person always gets the good friends So if you don't kiss up to Joe and Larry first you'll end up like the ex-Ms.
Giuliani He got the two cool gay guys and all she got was a part in The Vagina Monologues Please They're not gonna choose Grace over me They love me And if that's not enough Joe got drunk one night and let it slip about his Internet chat buddy That's my ace in the hole And that's actually the guy's screen name All right But don't blame me when the dust settles and Grace is grand marshal at the Gay Pride Parade and you're stuck in Fort Lee doing The 'Gina Monologues Hi, this is Grace Adler I'd like to take Will Truman off my Video East renter's card Well, if you must know he tried to force me to have a baby and give up a chance at true love and that kinda person shouldn't be able to rent videos Thank you Honey, you're being so spiteful and vindictive Compliments?
This early in the day?
Oh, honey, you're always the life of the party Oh, speaking of parties would you like me to "RSTD" to Moe and Mary?
Uh, I don't know, Karen I'm really not in the party mood There'll be a nice cake I do like a nice cake Besides, honey, you need to go over there and make nice with Joe and Larry You don't want them going over to Will's side They're gay They belong to you I'm not worried about them I have been a true and loyal friend Besides, one night Larry got drunk and let some things slip about his secret Internet chat buddy so he ain't goin' nowhere Okay, honey Don't blame me if Will is empress of gay America and you're in Fort Lee doing The Vagina Monologues Okay?
What?
I don't know Wow Look at this place, Will Everyone's screaming and jumping all over each other Why can't grownups have a place like this?
We do, Jack It's known as last call in any gay bar, U.S.A Hey, guys!
Hey!
Thanks for coming Good to see you How are you?
Hey, how's the party going?
Any cute fathers?
Well, actually, there's this one really hot-- No Ooh, I got Hannah a little something Oh, Will, you shouldn't have Don't be silly You guys are my best friends Hannah's my goddaughter and I just mean the world to all of you It's from both of us It's actually kinda cool I adopted her an endangered panda from The Discovery Store You get a certificate and a pamphlet about the threat to the environment It's from Will It's even better than that mile of highway you had cleaned up in her name I just figured, you know it's better than some garish flashy gift with a lotta bells and whistles that she's just gonna get tired of in five minutes-- Whee!
Where's the birthday girl?
Auntie Grace is here What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Yay!
They're in love again!
I don't mean to interrupt, but is Hannah allowed to cut her own hair?
You gave her a soda!
It's her birthday!
You said you weren't coming So did you Ha-ha!
Too late!
You're friends now Suckers!
Woo-hoo!
High five!
Why, you-- you two planned this?
Just to get us in the same room?
Not just getting you in the same room no But getting you in the same room at the same time!
Woo-hoo!
Low two!
Waaah!
Stop it This is not a joke!
Why can't you two just mind your own business?
Wow Some people Trick 'em into doing something they don't wanna do and this is the thanks you get?
Come on, honey While we're here let's go pick on a gay kid Hey, I was that gay k-- Shake your skirt, fairy!
Well, I guess one of us should leave Yeah, you Bye-bye I'm not leaving I brought a present I brought a present, too What is that?
Your phone bill?
It's a panda Oh, God, not the endangered species thing again?
You remember what happened when you gave that to your nephew at Christmas?
Where's my panda?
Where's my panda?
I'll tell you where your panda is, kid-- in China It's educational It's stupid Like--like a Barbie in a string bikini is such a smart gift Why don't you just wrap a ribbon around bulimia?
A doll cannot cause an eating disorder Nothing is that black and white A panda is Besides, I don't need to buy Joe and Larry's friendship with extravagant gifts for their kid That's not what I'm doing I'm here because I love Hannah Oh, really?
And how old is she today?
A lady never reveals her age I'm going to put my present on the table If you'd like, I'll put your envelope on the table with the savings bonds and the homemade cards In other words the suck pile Hey!
Hey!
Kids love homemade cards Yecch!
I hope this is apple juice Let me help you there, Joey Joe-Joe Jay-Jiminy-Jee-Joe Look, Will, I would appreciate it if you didn't get high around the kids I'm not high I'm just joking with you That's what old friends do We joke Except maybe Grace She'd probably tell you half a knock-knock joke, and then blow you off for some guy on a horse Yeah How much of that stuff did you smoke?
Kids, don't eat the balloons!
They're poison Will, do you mind?
Nope.
No problem, pal I'm on it And I'm in it Where's your kid?
Where's my kid?
Oh, I don't have a kid Not yet I'm thinking of adopting, though which is fine You know, I'll still be a reliable father Some people are not reliable You should know this Some people think they're reliable but when push comes to shove and the pressure's on they prove themselves to be-- what?
Cheese?
Unreliable Hey, Larry You look so good What's-- what's different about you?
Except being the handsomest man in the world?
God, your skin is so soft And what is under this shirt?
A brick wall?
Joe told me that you had some good stuff but we're off that since Hannah was born What?
Okay, but I don't wanna do too much because I might freak out when the clown gets here Oh-- No, I'm just touching you in a loving way Not a controlling way, like Will You know, Will thinks you're boring I think everyone is having a really good time Okay, kids, I'm gonna say this one more time The balloons are not food!
Stay, I'll get it I'm allowed to talk to adults!
Wanna hold my bunny?
I would love to, sweetheart He's my best friend Well, maybe he is now But wait He seems all sweet and cuddly Meanwhile, he's storing away all these secret resentments And then one day, when you've done absolutely nothing wrong his hatred will explode!
Mommy!
Hey, kid!
Heads up Okay, no, not too much base And I want tabby eyes and Persian lips Honey, look at Will and Grace They haven't said a word to each other for over an hour This plan bites!
Well, it's better than yours-- Telling those kids those balloons are made of candy Kids are dumb I know I ate a balloon it tastes nothing like candy Okay, we're ready Go get the kids around the big table and please make sure the camera has film in it One time It happened one time Kids, sit down!
Cake!
Happy-- Hey, Lar, let me help you with that No, it's okay.
I--I got it No, I want to Hap-- Oh, honey!
Oh, Hannah's gonna love this Oh, thanks, Grace I found it in the Cookbook for Gay Dummies Hap-- Just let-- let me take it out-- Be careful-- No, we've got it covered-- Grace, Grace-- Larry, I'm so sorry Here, let me help-- Don't touch her Kids, we're going to the deli next door for birthday knishes Nice going, Grace Our friendship, a kid's birthday party your over-processed hair Anything else you wanna destroy this week?
I don't know, anything else you wanna blame me for you big bitch?
You're a mess I'm leaving Don't bother I'll leave No, no.
I'm leaving I'm already gone Where's the guy with the-- Where's my purse?
Meow, meow Damn it Come on We are not playing games here Give me my purse Want 'em?
Go get 'em Ha!
Jack, what the hell are you doing?
It's time you two patched things up Unzip it!
Will!!
This is not the time or the place for your clumsy come-ons!
Now talk to her!
This is not funny Let us out now I'm not kidding, Jack I'm not kidding either!
You guys' friendship means something to me It means that maybe we don't have to be alone in the world That some things do last forever That a fatty and his enabler can find love Come on, you're tearing the poor kid up!
So either get it together or get it apart Just get it!
Now come on, Jackie.
I hear there's some people here with some great dope Eew.
Eew I think I just stepped in a puddle of throw-up Throw-up makes me throw up Quit jumping You're gonna have two puddles Please look Is that throw-up?
Look for yourself!
I'm not your vomit-looker I only look at vomit for my friends and we are not friends Fine, then you're gonna have to find yourself another spider-killer I don't need you to kill spiders for me, thank you I can kill my own damn spiders What about the one above your head?
Quit bouncing You quit bouncing You quit bouncing!
You quit bouncing!
Man You really hate me, don't you?
Is this really happening?
We just throw away 15 years of friendship over this?
Don't say "over this" like it was nothing You screwed me over I'm planning my life around this You were gonna have a baby I was gonna be a dad And then you just throw it away Heh.
It was so easy for you Easy?
Have you been paying any attention to my life lately?
And when has finding someone ever been easy for me?
That is not the point, Grace You just met the guy and you picked him over me I couldn't pick him over you because you are not an option for me You know, I actually considered walking away from Leo for you But then I started thinking about what our life would be like Just you and me and our baby And that question hanging over my head What question?
Was Leo the right guy for me?
I don't know I don't know if it's gonna work out But I hope it does And I'd hope my friend would want that for me, too I'm sorry, Grace, but it's not that easy for me Why?
Because it's not Why?!
Because I need you more than you need me!
Okay?
You--you--you-- you got a million options, Grace You can make a baby with Leo, or Nathan, or any Tom Dick, and...spermy But I can't I need you Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say to that Well, there's nothing you can say You've made your choice So, what, that's it?
We're done?
We're just gonna go our separate ways?
I guess so I hope it works out, too What?
I hope it works out between you and Leo You do?
Of course I do I love you, Grace I love you, too, Will I'm sorry I'm sorry No, I'm sorry I'm sorry And I think you should still have your baby There are other options You know what I really want?
I wanna do this the old-fashioned way I wanna meet a guy fall in love?
Quit going to the gym 'cause I met someone And then make a baby Do me a favor?
Hmm?
Check the puddle?
It's macaroni and cheese Oh, thank God That may have been thrown up Oh, no!
Grace and I are really focused on this baby right now and we've made an agreement-- no dating Two weeks ago, I wanted this baby more than anything And now, I'm just-- I'm so confused Oh, I can't believe this This is only the most important thing we've ever done together and you flake out on me?
I don't know why that's surprising-- you're a flake All I asked for was one month-- one month to see where this is going Oh, let me tell you where this is going You'll end up hating him in three weeks because I don't know, he has a weird chest hair pattern or he doesn't like watching "E!"
Or he'll end up hating you because you're too needy Then you'll fall apart I'll pick you up and then, magically you'll be ready to have a baby Look, I'm sorry that I met someone 'cause I know how much you hate it when I'm happy Oh, that is such a load!
Admit it You're happiest when I'm miserable I mean, come on Isn't that our thing?
Because then you don't have to look at how miserable you are Shut up, Grace!
But I am not gonna be miserable for you I am gonna try to be happy And if you can't deal with that then you are even more pathetic than I thought Get outta here Go to hell!
No, I mean it!
I want you outta here in two weeks You don't live here anymore I don't know how much longer I can live with Will I mean, every time I get in the shower with him he's like "Jack, get the hell out."
I know, honey Grace is driving me nuts, too She can't concentrate on work anymore Mm-mm She just sits around all day doodling pictures of people's houses on these enormous sketch pads And then, she's on the phone all the time ordering furniture?
Honey, where's she gonna put all that, huh?
In these "houses" she's drawing?
Oh...
So we need to get them back together-- But how?
Pretend to think, pretend to think Pretend to care, pretend to care Ooh, I got it What we need is a plan Some way to get them in the same room together Oh, honey, that's genius Write that down Oh, wait, not on that That's for Will and Grace That's an invitation to Joe and Larry's kid's birthday party Oh, yeah, I got one of these, too Anyway, enough about that Yeah We have to figure out a way to get them in the same room so they can work it out But how?
How?
Ow!
I just got a paper cut on this party invitation for Will and Grace Focus!
We're trying to get them in the same room together Forget about this party they're both invited to Now, what do they both like?
Well, Will likes to be taller than everybody and Grace likes to eat cake Where can we take them where there'll be small people eating cake?
Oh!
Shoot, I just spilled on this invitation to a child's birthday party Hey...
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I don't know Are you thinking what it would be like to have Spiderman spray his web on you?
Okay, that's just freaky Okay, that's crazy You sure you don't wanna go to Joe and Larry's kid's party?
You'll tower over people I do like to feel tall Ah, I don't know Grace and I already said we weren't going and besides I don't think I'd be very good company right now, anyway Okay...
But, uh, when couples split one person always gets the good friends So if you don't kiss up to Joe and Larry first you'll end up like the ex-Ms.
Giuliani He got the two cool gay guys and all she got was a part in The Vagina Monologues Please They're not gonna choose Grace over me They love me And if that's not enough Joe got drunk one night and let it slip about his Internet chat buddy That's my ace in the hole And that's actually the guy's screen name All right But don't blame me when the dust settles and Grace is grand marshal at the Gay Pride Parade and you're stuck in Fort Lee doing The 'Gina Monologues Hi, this is Grace Adler I'd like to take Will Truman off my Video East renter's card Well, if you must know he tried to force me to have a baby and give up a chance at true love and that kinda person shouldn't be able to rent videos Thank you Honey, you're being so spiteful and vindictive Compliments?
This early in the day?
Oh, honey, you're always the life of the party Oh, speaking of parties would you like me to "RSTD" to Moe and Mary?
Uh, I don't know, Karen I'm really not in the party mood There'll be a nice cake I do like a nice cake Besides, honey, you need to go over there and make nice with Joe and Larry You don't want them going over to Will's side They're gay They belong to you I'm not worried about them I have been a true and loyal friend Besides, one night Larry got drunk and let some things slip about his secret Internet chat buddy so he ain't goin' nowhere Okay, honey Don't blame me if Will is empress of gay America and you're in Fort Lee doing The Vagina Monologues Okay?
What?
I don't know Wow Look at this place, Will Everyone's screaming and jumping all over each other Why can't grownups have a place like this?
We do, Jack It's known as last call in any gay bar, U.S.A Hey, guys!
Hey!
Thanks for coming Good to see you How are you?
Hey, how's the party going?
Any cute fathers?
Well, actually, there's this one really hot-- No Ooh, I got Hannah a little something Oh, Will, you shouldn't have Don't be silly You guys are my best friends Hannah's my goddaughter and I just mean the world to all of you It's from both of us It's actually kinda cool I adopted her an endangered panda from The Discovery Store You get a certificate and a pamphlet about the threat to the environment It's from Will It's even better than that mile of highway you had cleaned up in her name I just figured, you know it's better than some garish flashy gift with a lotta bells and whistles that she's just gonna get tired of in five minutes-- Whee!
Where's the birthday girl?
Auntie Grace is here What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Yay!
They're in love again!
I don't mean to interrupt, but is Hannah allowed to cut her own hair?
You gave her a soda!
It's her birthday!
You said you weren't coming So did you Ha-ha!
Too late!
You're friends now Suckers!
Woo-hoo!
High five!
Why, you-- you two planned this?
Just to get us in the same room?
Not just getting you in the same room no But getting you in the same room at the same time!
Woo-hoo!
Low two!
Waaah!
Stop it This is not a joke!
Why can't you two just mind your own business?
Wow Some people Trick 'em into doing something they don't wanna do and this is the thanks you get?
Come on, honey While we're here let's go pick on a gay kid Hey, I was that gay k-- Shake your skirt, fairy!
Well, I guess one of us should leave Yeah, you Bye-bye I'm not leaving I brought a present I brought a present, too What is that?
Your phone bill?
It's a panda Oh, God, not the endangered species thing again?
You remember what happened when you gave that to your nephew at Christmas?
Where's my panda?
Where's my panda?
I'll tell you where your panda is, kid-- in China It's educational It's stupid Like--like a Barbie in a string bikini is such a smart gift Why don't you just wrap a ribbon around bulimia?
A doll cannot cause an eating disorder Nothing is that black and white A panda is Besides, I don't need to buy Joe and Larry's friendship with extravagant gifts for their kid That's not what I'm doing I'm here because I love Hannah Oh, really?
And how old is she today?
A lady never reveals her age I'm going to put my present on the table If you'd like, I'll put your envelope on the table with the savings bonds and the homemade cards In other words the suck pile Hey!
Hey!
Kids love homemade cards Yecch!
I hope this is apple juice Let me help you there, Joey Joe-Joe Jay-Jiminy-Jee-Joe Look, Will, I would appreciate it if you didn't get high around the kids I'm not high I'm just joking with you That's what old friends do We joke Except maybe Grace She'd probably tell you half a knock-knock joke, and then blow you off for some guy on a horse Yeah How much of that stuff did you smoke?
Kids, don't eat the balloons!
They're poison Will, do you mind?
Nope.
No problem, pal I'm on it And I'm in it Where's your kid?
Where's my kid?
Oh, I don't have a kid Not yet I'm thinking of adopting, though which is fine You know, I'll still be a reliable father Some people are not reliable You should know this Some people think they're reliable but when push comes to shove and the pressure's on they prove themselves to be-- what?
Cheese?
Unreliable Hey, Larry You look so good What's-- what's different about you?
Except being the handsomest man in the world?
God, your skin is so soft And what is under this shirt?
A brick wall?
Joe told me that you had some good stuff but we're off that since Hannah was born What?
Okay, but I don't wanna do too much because I might freak out when the clown gets here Oh-- No, I'm just touching you in a loving way Not a controlling way, like Will You know, Will thinks you're boring I think everyone is having a really good time Okay, kids, I'm gonna say this one more time The balloons are not food!
Stay, I'll get it I'm allowed to talk to adults!
Wanna hold my bunny?
I would love to, sweetheart He's my best friend Well, maybe he is now But wait He seems all sweet and cuddly Meanwhile, he's storing away all these secret resentments And then one day, when you've done absolutely nothing wrong his hatred will explode!
Mommy!
Hey, kid!
Heads up Okay, no, not too much base And I want tabby eyes and Persian lips Honey, look at Will and Grace They haven't said a word to each other for over an hour This plan bites!
Well, it's better than yours-- Telling those kids those balloons are made of candy Kids are dumb I know I ate a balloon it tastes nothing like candy Okay, we're ready Go get the kids around the big table and please make sure the camera has film in it One time It happened one time Kids, sit down!
Cake!
Happy-- Hey, Lar, let me help you with that No, it's okay.
I--I got it No, I want to Hap-- Oh, honey!
Oh, Hannah's gonna love this Oh, thanks, Grace I found it in the Cookbook for Gay Dummies Hap-- Just let-- let me take it out-- Be careful-- No, we've got it covered-- Grace, Grace-- Larry, I'm so sorry Here, let me help-- Don't touch her Kids, we're going to the deli next door for birthday knishes Nice going, Grace Our friendship, a kid's birthday party your over-processed hair Anything else you wanna destroy this week?
I don't know, anything else you wanna blame me for you big bitch?
You're a mess I'm leaving Don't bother I'll leave No, no.
I'm leaving I'm already gone Where's the guy with the-- Where's my purse?
Meow, meow Damn it Come on We are not playing games here Give me my purse Want 'em?
Go get 'em Ha!
Jack, what the hell are you doing?
It's time you two patched things up Unzip it!
Will!!
This is not the time or the place for your clumsy come-ons!
Now talk to her!
This is not funny Let us out now I'm not kidding, Jack I'm not kidding either!
You guys' friendship means something to me It means that maybe we don't have to be alone in the world That some things do last forever That a fatty and his enabler can find love Come on, you're tearing the poor kid up!
So either get it together or get it apart Just get it!
Now come on, Jackie.
I hear there's some people here with some great dope Eew.
Eew I think I just stepped in a puddle of throw-up Throw-up makes me throw up Quit jumping You're gonna have two puddles Please look Is that throw-up?
Look for yourself!
I'm not your vomit-looker I only look at vomit for my friends and we are not friends Fine, then you're gonna have to find yourself another spider-killer I don't need you to kill spiders for me, thank you I can kill my own damn spiders What about the one above your head?
Quit bouncing You quit bouncing You quit bouncing!
You quit bouncing!
Man You really hate me, don't you?
Is this really happening?
We just throw away 15 years of friendship over this?
Don't say "over this" like it was nothing You screwed me over I'm planning my life around this You were gonna have a baby I was gonna be a dad And then you just throw it away Heh.
It was so easy for you Easy?
Have you been paying any attention to my life lately?
And when has finding someone ever been easy for me?
That is not the point, Grace You just met the guy and you picked him over me I couldn't pick him over you because you are not an option for me You know, I actually considered walking away from Leo for you But then I started thinking about what our life would be like Just you and me and our baby And that question hanging over my head What question?
Was Leo the right guy for me?
I don't know I don't know if it's gonna work out But I hope it does And I'd hope my friend would want that for me, too I'm sorry, Grace, but it's not that easy for me Why?
Because it's not Why?!
Because I need you more than you need me!
Okay?
You--you--you-- you got a million options, Grace You can make a baby with Leo, or Nathan, or any Tom Dick, and...spermy But I can't I need you Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say to that Well, there's nothing you can say You've made your choice So, what, that's it?
We're done?
We're just gonna go our separate ways?
I guess so I hope it works out, too What?
I hope it works out between you and Leo You do?
Of course I do I love you, Grace I love you, too, Will I'm sorry I'm sorry No, I'm sorry I'm sorry And I think you should still have your baby There are other options You know what I really want?
I wanna do this the old-fashioned way I wanna meet a guy fall in love?
Quit going to the gym 'cause I met someone And then make a baby Do me a favor?
Hmm?
Check the puddle?
It's macaroni and cheese Oh, thank God That may have been thrown up Oh, no!