Programa de TV: Will & Grace - 5x13
I love "24."
But it's so unrealistic I mean, it's 2 PM and he hasn't even peed yet I've gone twice just watching it Woof!
When did Kiefer Sutherland get so hot?
He didn't, sweetie...
Hey!
What the hell did you two Mork and Mindy looking sons of bitches do to my cousin Barry?
You're supposed to help himbe gay but you didn't finish The poor kid's so confused he's sitting at home on the couch watching football in a spandex onesie We just got started This is a guy who 24 hours ago thought that Batman and Robin just fought crime together / Okay We're makin' progress Yeah, well, step it up The Human Rights Campaign gala is in a month It's the social event of the gay season Well, next to the Republican National Convention And I want Barry to be ready for it Karen, he's 20 pounds overweight he shops at Miller's Outpost and he has a beard I don't mean "taking your mother to the Academy Awards" kind of beard I mean actual facial hair He's right, Kare Can't be done Homo wasn't built in a day Huh...
Well, that's too bad 'Cause I was, uh, going through my jeans this morning and I found 20 grand in that little pocket And I was thinking that you guys could use that to bankroll this whole operation and, uh keep whatever's left over for yourselves, but, oh, well Can-- Would you just excuse us for a second?
We'll do it And I'm sorry you had to see that Hello Grace!
Did you just get in?
How was your flight?
I live in Brooklyn I took the subway Right, right, right So what was the in-flight movie?
Well, a smelly guy in Army fatigues did a dance for me I love that guy He taught me this move Why do homeless guys always wear Army stuff?
Never the Navy, never a nice pea coat, or a sailor hat Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys a heads-up Leo and I are having a housewarming party Now don't freak out about getting us a present Don't go running from store to store 'Cause everything I want is on this list I'm not getting you another present I haven't even got a thank-you note for the two wedding gifts I got you Well, we need more stuff What can I tell you?
Oh, honey, I'd love to go!
Oh, Brooklyn in the winter Oh, you know what I'm gonna use my miles!
�� & ���̽� 5���� ���Ǽҵ� 14 (Fagmalion Part Two ; Attack Of The Clones) ���� �뺻 : http://www.durfee.net/will/ ��ũ : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com) ��Ʈ : �̼���(memarun@nate.com) �ڸ� ���� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ��� (http://club.nate.com/24) Will & Grace �ڸ��� Karen?
Did you sync up my Palm Pilot?
I sure did, honey I also optimized your hard drive and traced that printer problem to a bad ethernet cable Have I been drinking?
Come on, now honestly, honey I'm a little more together than you think Hey, hey Anyone order a cookie bouquet?
The talking cookies!
They're baaack!
Sure, they talk But do they listen?
Honey What are you doing here?
I thought you were elbow deep in someone's colon Yeah But then the office party ended.
So...
Listen, I got some bad news I don't think we can do that housewarming thing this weekend No, I told you When people complain about having to give another gift you say that their first one never arrived The thing is...
Do you remember the other day I saw you in the kitchen in that mid-afternoon light I said, "Man, you are the most beautiful woman in the world" "How did I get so lucky?"
Yeah Yeah I'm going to Africa for a month I leave on Friday / What?!
No, you're-- you're-- What?
Doctors Without Borders called That clinic I helped set up last summer they're way understaffed There's a virus and a vaccine And I have to be there Plus they think I'm on "ER".
I can't believe they're having a viral outbreak the same weekend as our housewarming party Why do these things always happen to me?
I'm sorry, baby I know I'm just gonna miss you I know.
I'm gonna miss you too We can talk more about it later I gotta go pick up some toys I fathered, like, ten kids in that village If I show up empty-handed there will be hell to pay See ya Honey...
are the cookies gone?
Okay, so we're clear on this, right?
You're gonna be in charge of Barry's body I'm gonna work on his mind Things like gay culture, gay politics driving up the cost of real estate in affordable areas Okay.
But if you have his mind and I have the body, who gets the hair?
'Cause it grows out of the mind but it's still kinda part of the body That's a very good question And that makes me feel even better about being in charge of the mind We'll save the hair for last Okay, okay, okay This is a huge project It's such an awesome responsibility to think of someone other than myself I'm a good person I'm a great person Oh, come on, Barry This is an easy one Um, I'm not sure Take a guess Salma Hayek?
Salma Hayek?!
Is that not a real person?
I don't even know how I know that name It's Vivian Leigh from Gone With the Wind!
How can a person not know that?!
I'm tired and thirsty Can I have a Coke?
It's Diet Coke And no!
Come on!
Let's go, let's go!
Push!
Remember: No pecs, no sex!
This all seems so superficial Are gay guys only about bodies and faces?
Absolutely not They're only about bodies Faces you can cover up with a cute hat or leather hood Looser, looser Eek.
Tighter, tighter Pull it in!
Okay, okay Look, um...
this move...
unless you're one of the Brady kids should be stricken from your dance vocabulary Okay, Barry Now, come on Sit here, sweetheart Watch and learn, all right?
And note, these moves can also be performed on roller skates, okay?
Man, making someone gay is exhausting / Mm-hmm I don't know how my mother did it Hey Oh, no Is it 5:00 already?
Yeah, the cab's out front Boy, 28 hours on a plane What do you bet I still won't get through the corrections?
You know I am so proud of you Tonight I'm gonna close my eyes and imagine I'm in Africa with you helping the needy Till "The Osbournes" start Then you're on your own Okay, I gotta go save some lives Yeah, I gotta go save 50% Barney's is having a sale Bye I love you I don't blame you Bye Yes?
Um, if you see some cute bowls for cheap, totally stock up And don't agree on the first price 'cause they expect you to haggle Grace, these people don't have water I didn't say they were good at haggling Okay Bye What?
I'll get a bowl, okay?
I'll take their food and dump it on the ground and take the bowl No, I just don't want you to forget to pay the gas bill It's due on the 21st Yeah, I'll pay them in wildebeests Grace, I'm gonna be sub-Saharan Africa / Hey, I work too I-I didn't say you didn't I-I just assumed while I was gone, you'd take care of the household stuff Oh.
'Cause I'm a housewife now?
Suddenly, I'm the woman?
Should I crank out a couple of kids while you're gone too?
Grace, I-I-I-- I really don't have time for this I have to get to the airport and exchange my 100 American dollars for ten billion Zairian dollars Okay?
Fine, then I'm coming with you 'Cause we haven't even begun to discuss who's gonna wash the dishes that are still in the sink Wow He's pretty cute, isn't he?
Yeah Go talk to him What?!
I can't do that He's out of my league He's an all-star I'm barely in the minors Sports again?
What did I tell you to do when those thoughts come into your head?
/ Right Judy, Liza, Barbra, Bette these are names I shan't forget / Good Or Dream Girls, CompanyChorus Line these three shows are quite divine Come on, you can do this That's easy for you to say You're a god.
Please A "god."
In what way am I like a god?
You're hot You're successful Every guy in this bar is checking you out No, they're not Look, I was once where you are Sorry, you're blocking their view of me Hi Everyone has a first time, Barry I can't believe you were ever like me / Well, I was In my first time in a gay bar I was no more comfortable than you are I've just been out a couple of weeks and Jack just decided to throw me into the deep end....
What do you think you're doing?
I'm eating peanuts Have you lost your mind?!
Those are little pellets of fat and breath You might as well be chewing on loneliness Have you asked anyone to dance?
Have you talked to anybody?
Have you done anything?
I can't I feel like everyone's judging me Well, of course they are It's a gay bar Now, come on Get out there Who do you like?
What about that guy?
I saw you doing one of these when we walked in What?
That guy?
No, he'd never go out with me How do you know until you try?
Come on, do it, Will Come on, you got nothing to lose- I'm scared We're all scared You gotta develop thick skin And then moisturize and sleep in gloves Come on, go Jack, stop it Go, go Hi, I'm Will- Zack I'm Will Still Zack Sorry Talk to him Talk to him.
Talk Look, I've never done this before, but-- Sure, I'll go out with you Just like that I got my first date He ended up stealing my identity and traveling around Europe on my credit cards but that "yes" felt good There's your guy Come on, make your move Really?
No, I don't know.
I-I-- Come on, come on.
Do it Get your "yes."
And don't give out your PIN number even if he says he needs it to "do your chart."
Hi, I haven't done this much, but, um-- / No Okay, how 'bout this?
I'll pay the bills but when you come home you are going to wash the oatmeal pot You know what, honey why don't you send me the pot?
It'll be a nice break from bringing people back from the brink of death Brink of death?
Give me a break You're staying at a Hyatt This is ridiculous We're here Oh, oh, oh, look at that You took the luggage we just got as a wedding present I guess it's just for you Okay, I think I know what's going on here Oh, really?
Enlighten me Mr.
Take-My-Luggage It's Doctor Take-My-Luggage Come on, Grace You're pickin' a fight with me 'cause you don't want to say good-bye You're having trouble dealing with the fact that we just got married and now I'm going away for awhile And maybe if you're mad at me then you won't have to deal with your real feelings about me leaving Is any of this true?
And don't answer me with any of the sounds your dad makes after dinner Hey!
His chair makes weird sounds When you ask him to do it again, he can't!
I have to go Do you really want to leave it like this?
You're the one leaving!
Okay Fine I'll see you in a month Good-bye Barry, wait Forget it, Will Look, I appreciate everything you've done, but I want to go home No, you can't leave You're doing great Great?!
The guy said no before I even finished my sentence He put his hand in my face That's gay for "Stop in the name of love."
And then come here I'm not an idiot I know It'd be a lot easier if you were Idiots do really well in these places Ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh!
I just got three numbers And I just stole the wallet of "Who's The Boss"'s Danny Pintauro I'll see you guys later If I leave now I can cry in the tub and still have time to eat everything in the fridge Barry, don't go Don't you want to have your first man-on-man kiss tonight and give me something to call your religious maniac parents about?
I can't do this Just because Will got a guy on his first night in a gay bar doesn't mean I can Oh, please, is that what he told you?
Well, I did score my first time out Ish...
Come on, just go out with my friend There's 20 bucks in it for you Which one is he?
Okay, 40 And you can lose the 'tude You act like you know Wham!
or something I can't-- I can't-- You paid him to go out with me?
We talked about this We have not!
Oh Well, I talk to other people about it Even I got a few miles out of that one at the family picnic Wait, that was you?
Cousin Gina laughed so hard coleslaw came out of the hole in her neck Oh, boy I gotta call that Gina She's such a-- Oh, crap There's Danny Pintauro and he looks pissed You are unbelievable What's the big deal?
It's not like you just found out you're adopted...
or Canadian The big deal is that all of my confidence as a gay man is based on that moment And now it's a lie I was just trying to help you the way we're helping Barry Do not compare me to Barry!
Why not?
Look at him That wreck is you 15 years ago Oh, please!
I was never as bad as he is!
Barry's pathetic!
Stop it Barry This does not concern you, okay?
We are discussing Barry right now Stop talking about me like I'm not even here You call me pathetic but I look at you guys and all you care about are superficial things like the homoerotic subtext of "The A-Team."
Or how to make your butt stand out, even in a dense fog I didn't come out so I could be in your twisted production of My Fairy Lady I came out so...
I-I could find a guy and fall in love So what do you two have to teach me?
You got a 15-year head start and you're both alone Now who's pathetic?
Whew, I gave Pintauro the slip Now who wants a drink?
I got "Who's The Boss" money!
Ugh, he calls me selfish When you think about it isn't helping people even more selfish?
And then he tries to make it seem like I'm unreasonable I'not the one being unreasonable Grace Yes, I am Turn around I can't leave it like this And I'm telling you now if I forget to tip, it's just 'cause I'm upset Now here's the thing If something's bothering me I-I just say it I don't try to hide it I don't make somebody guess what it is I don't bury it in conversation about pots or luggage Why should I indulge her craziness?
Because you love her Crap!
That's what the Skycap said...
Will, do you think I'm pathetic?
No, of course not You think I'm pathetic?
Sometimes That's not how that's supposed to go Oh, I'm sorry I'm sorry Gimme again gimme again Do you think I'm pathetic?
Sometimes He really nailed us Shallow, vain Are we those guys?
No Of course not Speaking of "veins," I got a new one coming in on my forearm I think I'm gonna name him Kevin He's absolutely right I am alone What makes me such an expert?
No, Jocelyn Hi, Jocelyn Look, um, I'm sorry I think I was a little hard on you before Don't apologize, Barry Will needed to hear it Anyway, if you're still into it I'd like to start training again 'Cause even if you are kinda superficial I'd rather go through this with someone than go through it alone We'd be honored Plus, if you can manage it I'd really like to look like this guy Check out those abs Aren't they fabulous?
Was that--?
I think it was Baby's first "fabulous."
Get the camcorder Are those-- Is that Gucci on your feet?
Oh, yeah Aren't they great?
They kill my toes and cost a fortune but what the hell?
I'll take out another credit card I think I'm gonna cry Will, do you know what this means?
Unrealistic body expectations Choosing fashion over comfort Living beyond your means Boy George I think he's got it!
Ma'am, I need you to take your seat We're getting ready for takeoff Yeah, I need to find my husband We're flying together Now!
You know, you're not supposed to use that while we're taxiing Yeah, well, you're not supposed to take two blankets either so let's just mind our own beeswax Hello?
Hi, Leo Hey You'll never believe what I did Um what seat are you in?
I'm not sitting I just got home Home?
Yeah.
I just thought we needed a real good-bye so I switched my flight to tomorrow Where are you?
Karen Karen Leave me alone Karen...
Please, what do you cookies want from me?
We're not the cookies We're the pencil sharpener!
Oh, thank God!
For a second there I thought the cookies were talking to me
But it's so unrealistic I mean, it's 2 PM and he hasn't even peed yet I've gone twice just watching it Woof!
When did Kiefer Sutherland get so hot?
He didn't, sweetie...
Hey!
What the hell did you two Mork and Mindy looking sons of bitches do to my cousin Barry?
You're supposed to help himbe gay but you didn't finish The poor kid's so confused he's sitting at home on the couch watching football in a spandex onesie We just got started This is a guy who 24 hours ago thought that Batman and Robin just fought crime together / Okay We're makin' progress Yeah, well, step it up The Human Rights Campaign gala is in a month It's the social event of the gay season Well, next to the Republican National Convention And I want Barry to be ready for it Karen, he's 20 pounds overweight he shops at Miller's Outpost and he has a beard I don't mean "taking your mother to the Academy Awards" kind of beard I mean actual facial hair He's right, Kare Can't be done Homo wasn't built in a day Huh...
Well, that's too bad 'Cause I was, uh, going through my jeans this morning and I found 20 grand in that little pocket And I was thinking that you guys could use that to bankroll this whole operation and, uh keep whatever's left over for yourselves, but, oh, well Can-- Would you just excuse us for a second?
We'll do it And I'm sorry you had to see that Hello Grace!
Did you just get in?
How was your flight?
I live in Brooklyn I took the subway Right, right, right So what was the in-flight movie?
Well, a smelly guy in Army fatigues did a dance for me I love that guy He taught me this move Why do homeless guys always wear Army stuff?
Never the Navy, never a nice pea coat, or a sailor hat Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys a heads-up Leo and I are having a housewarming party Now don't freak out about getting us a present Don't go running from store to store 'Cause everything I want is on this list I'm not getting you another present I haven't even got a thank-you note for the two wedding gifts I got you Well, we need more stuff What can I tell you?
Oh, honey, I'd love to go!
Oh, Brooklyn in the winter Oh, you know what I'm gonna use my miles!
�� & ���̽� 5���� ���Ǽҵ� 14 (Fagmalion Part Two ; Attack Of The Clones) ���� �뺻 : http://www.durfee.net/will/ ��ũ : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com) ��Ʈ : �̼���(memarun@nate.com) �ڸ� ���� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ��� (http://club.nate.com/24) Will & Grace �ڸ��� Karen?
Did you sync up my Palm Pilot?
I sure did, honey I also optimized your hard drive and traced that printer problem to a bad ethernet cable Have I been drinking?
Come on, now honestly, honey I'm a little more together than you think Hey, hey Anyone order a cookie bouquet?
The talking cookies!
They're baaack!
Sure, they talk But do they listen?
Honey What are you doing here?
I thought you were elbow deep in someone's colon Yeah But then the office party ended.
So...
Listen, I got some bad news I don't think we can do that housewarming thing this weekend No, I told you When people complain about having to give another gift you say that their first one never arrived The thing is...
Do you remember the other day I saw you in the kitchen in that mid-afternoon light I said, "Man, you are the most beautiful woman in the world" "How did I get so lucky?"
Yeah Yeah I'm going to Africa for a month I leave on Friday / What?!
No, you're-- you're-- What?
Doctors Without Borders called That clinic I helped set up last summer they're way understaffed There's a virus and a vaccine And I have to be there Plus they think I'm on "ER".
I can't believe they're having a viral outbreak the same weekend as our housewarming party Why do these things always happen to me?
I'm sorry, baby I know I'm just gonna miss you I know.
I'm gonna miss you too We can talk more about it later I gotta go pick up some toys I fathered, like, ten kids in that village If I show up empty-handed there will be hell to pay See ya Honey...
are the cookies gone?
Okay, so we're clear on this, right?
You're gonna be in charge of Barry's body I'm gonna work on his mind Things like gay culture, gay politics driving up the cost of real estate in affordable areas Okay.
But if you have his mind and I have the body, who gets the hair?
'Cause it grows out of the mind but it's still kinda part of the body That's a very good question And that makes me feel even better about being in charge of the mind We'll save the hair for last Okay, okay, okay This is a huge project It's such an awesome responsibility to think of someone other than myself I'm a good person I'm a great person Oh, come on, Barry This is an easy one Um, I'm not sure Take a guess Salma Hayek?
Salma Hayek?!
Is that not a real person?
I don't even know how I know that name It's Vivian Leigh from Gone With the Wind!
How can a person not know that?!
I'm tired and thirsty Can I have a Coke?
It's Diet Coke And no!
Come on!
Let's go, let's go!
Push!
Remember: No pecs, no sex!
This all seems so superficial Are gay guys only about bodies and faces?
Absolutely not They're only about bodies Faces you can cover up with a cute hat or leather hood Looser, looser Eek.
Tighter, tighter Pull it in!
Okay, okay Look, um...
this move...
unless you're one of the Brady kids should be stricken from your dance vocabulary Okay, Barry Now, come on Sit here, sweetheart Watch and learn, all right?
And note, these moves can also be performed on roller skates, okay?
Man, making someone gay is exhausting / Mm-hmm I don't know how my mother did it Hey Oh, no Is it 5:00 already?
Yeah, the cab's out front Boy, 28 hours on a plane What do you bet I still won't get through the corrections?
You know I am so proud of you Tonight I'm gonna close my eyes and imagine I'm in Africa with you helping the needy Till "The Osbournes" start Then you're on your own Okay, I gotta go save some lives Yeah, I gotta go save 50% Barney's is having a sale Bye I love you I don't blame you Bye Yes?
Um, if you see some cute bowls for cheap, totally stock up And don't agree on the first price 'cause they expect you to haggle Grace, these people don't have water I didn't say they were good at haggling Okay Bye What?
I'll get a bowl, okay?
I'll take their food and dump it on the ground and take the bowl No, I just don't want you to forget to pay the gas bill It's due on the 21st Yeah, I'll pay them in wildebeests Grace, I'm gonna be sub-Saharan Africa / Hey, I work too I-I didn't say you didn't I-I just assumed while I was gone, you'd take care of the household stuff Oh.
'Cause I'm a housewife now?
Suddenly, I'm the woman?
Should I crank out a couple of kids while you're gone too?
Grace, I-I-I-- I really don't have time for this I have to get to the airport and exchange my 100 American dollars for ten billion Zairian dollars Okay?
Fine, then I'm coming with you 'Cause we haven't even begun to discuss who's gonna wash the dishes that are still in the sink Wow He's pretty cute, isn't he?
Yeah Go talk to him What?!
I can't do that He's out of my league He's an all-star I'm barely in the minors Sports again?
What did I tell you to do when those thoughts come into your head?
/ Right Judy, Liza, Barbra, Bette these are names I shan't forget / Good Or Dream Girls, CompanyChorus Line these three shows are quite divine Come on, you can do this That's easy for you to say You're a god.
Please A "god."
In what way am I like a god?
You're hot You're successful Every guy in this bar is checking you out No, they're not Look, I was once where you are Sorry, you're blocking their view of me Hi Everyone has a first time, Barry I can't believe you were ever like me / Well, I was In my first time in a gay bar I was no more comfortable than you are I've just been out a couple of weeks and Jack just decided to throw me into the deep end....
What do you think you're doing?
I'm eating peanuts Have you lost your mind?!
Those are little pellets of fat and breath You might as well be chewing on loneliness Have you asked anyone to dance?
Have you talked to anybody?
Have you done anything?
I can't I feel like everyone's judging me Well, of course they are It's a gay bar Now, come on Get out there Who do you like?
What about that guy?
I saw you doing one of these when we walked in What?
That guy?
No, he'd never go out with me How do you know until you try?
Come on, do it, Will Come on, you got nothing to lose- I'm scared We're all scared You gotta develop thick skin And then moisturize and sleep in gloves Come on, go Jack, stop it Go, go Hi, I'm Will- Zack I'm Will Still Zack Sorry Talk to him Talk to him.
Talk Look, I've never done this before, but-- Sure, I'll go out with you Just like that I got my first date He ended up stealing my identity and traveling around Europe on my credit cards but that "yes" felt good There's your guy Come on, make your move Really?
No, I don't know.
I-I-- Come on, come on.
Do it Get your "yes."
And don't give out your PIN number even if he says he needs it to "do your chart."
Hi, I haven't done this much, but, um-- / No Okay, how 'bout this?
I'll pay the bills but when you come home you are going to wash the oatmeal pot You know what, honey why don't you send me the pot?
It'll be a nice break from bringing people back from the brink of death Brink of death?
Give me a break You're staying at a Hyatt This is ridiculous We're here Oh, oh, oh, look at that You took the luggage we just got as a wedding present I guess it's just for you Okay, I think I know what's going on here Oh, really?
Enlighten me Mr.
Take-My-Luggage It's Doctor Take-My-Luggage Come on, Grace You're pickin' a fight with me 'cause you don't want to say good-bye You're having trouble dealing with the fact that we just got married and now I'm going away for awhile And maybe if you're mad at me then you won't have to deal with your real feelings about me leaving Is any of this true?
And don't answer me with any of the sounds your dad makes after dinner Hey!
His chair makes weird sounds When you ask him to do it again, he can't!
I have to go Do you really want to leave it like this?
You're the one leaving!
Okay Fine I'll see you in a month Good-bye Barry, wait Forget it, Will Look, I appreciate everything you've done, but I want to go home No, you can't leave You're doing great Great?!
The guy said no before I even finished my sentence He put his hand in my face That's gay for "Stop in the name of love."
And then come here I'm not an idiot I know It'd be a lot easier if you were Idiots do really well in these places Ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh!
I just got three numbers And I just stole the wallet of "Who's The Boss"'s Danny Pintauro I'll see you guys later If I leave now I can cry in the tub and still have time to eat everything in the fridge Barry, don't go Don't you want to have your first man-on-man kiss tonight and give me something to call your religious maniac parents about?
I can't do this Just because Will got a guy on his first night in a gay bar doesn't mean I can Oh, please, is that what he told you?
Well, I did score my first time out Ish...
Come on, just go out with my friend There's 20 bucks in it for you Which one is he?
Okay, 40 And you can lose the 'tude You act like you know Wham!
or something I can't-- I can't-- You paid him to go out with me?
We talked about this We have not!
Oh Well, I talk to other people about it Even I got a few miles out of that one at the family picnic Wait, that was you?
Cousin Gina laughed so hard coleslaw came out of the hole in her neck Oh, boy I gotta call that Gina She's such a-- Oh, crap There's Danny Pintauro and he looks pissed You are unbelievable What's the big deal?
It's not like you just found out you're adopted...
or Canadian The big deal is that all of my confidence as a gay man is based on that moment And now it's a lie I was just trying to help you the way we're helping Barry Do not compare me to Barry!
Why not?
Look at him That wreck is you 15 years ago Oh, please!
I was never as bad as he is!
Barry's pathetic!
Stop it Barry This does not concern you, okay?
We are discussing Barry right now Stop talking about me like I'm not even here You call me pathetic but I look at you guys and all you care about are superficial things like the homoerotic subtext of "The A-Team."
Or how to make your butt stand out, even in a dense fog I didn't come out so I could be in your twisted production of My Fairy Lady I came out so...
I-I could find a guy and fall in love So what do you two have to teach me?
You got a 15-year head start and you're both alone Now who's pathetic?
Whew, I gave Pintauro the slip Now who wants a drink?
I got "Who's The Boss" money!
Ugh, he calls me selfish When you think about it isn't helping people even more selfish?
And then he tries to make it seem like I'm unreasonable I'not the one being unreasonable Grace Yes, I am Turn around I can't leave it like this And I'm telling you now if I forget to tip, it's just 'cause I'm upset Now here's the thing If something's bothering me I-I just say it I don't try to hide it I don't make somebody guess what it is I don't bury it in conversation about pots or luggage Why should I indulge her craziness?
Because you love her Crap!
That's what the Skycap said...
Will, do you think I'm pathetic?
No, of course not You think I'm pathetic?
Sometimes That's not how that's supposed to go Oh, I'm sorry I'm sorry Gimme again gimme again Do you think I'm pathetic?
Sometimes He really nailed us Shallow, vain Are we those guys?
No Of course not Speaking of "veins," I got a new one coming in on my forearm I think I'm gonna name him Kevin He's absolutely right I am alone What makes me such an expert?
No, Jocelyn Hi, Jocelyn Look, um, I'm sorry I think I was a little hard on you before Don't apologize, Barry Will needed to hear it Anyway, if you're still into it I'd like to start training again 'Cause even if you are kinda superficial I'd rather go through this with someone than go through it alone We'd be honored Plus, if you can manage it I'd really like to look like this guy Check out those abs Aren't they fabulous?
Was that--?
I think it was Baby's first "fabulous."
Get the camcorder Are those-- Is that Gucci on your feet?
Oh, yeah Aren't they great?
They kill my toes and cost a fortune but what the hell?
I'll take out another credit card I think I'm gonna cry Will, do you know what this means?
Unrealistic body expectations Choosing fashion over comfort Living beyond your means Boy George I think he's got it!
Ma'am, I need you to take your seat We're getting ready for takeoff Yeah, I need to find my husband We're flying together Now!
You know, you're not supposed to use that while we're taxiing Yeah, well, you're not supposed to take two blankets either so let's just mind our own beeswax Hello?
Hi, Leo Hey You'll never believe what I did Um what seat are you in?
I'm not sitting I just got home Home?
Yeah.
I just thought we needed a real good-bye so I switched my flight to tomorrow Where are you?
Karen Karen Leave me alone Karen...
Please, what do you cookies want from me?
We're not the cookies We're the pencil sharpener!
Oh, thank God!
For a second there I thought the cookies were talking to me