Programa de TV: Mad Men - 5x1
Previously on Mad Men...
You're going to Vietnam!
I think I'd like eventually to do what you do.
Every chip I make we become less dependent on you!
Why you...
Roger...
I have made the best of this.
This is not my home.
Feel him.
The Mohawk Airlines is over.
Don't stop.
I'm late.
Me?
He's been gone for seven weeks, it can't be his.
When can I start looking?
I'm so in love with Greenwich.
Will you marry me?
Yes!
Things aren't perfect.
O-wee-o, o-wee-o.
We got the poverty, where is the dough?
O-wee-o, o-wee-o.
We got the poverty, where is the dough?
Shut up!
Get a job!
Somebody call the cops.
That's all there is-- cops and negroes and priests.
You're walking in a circle.
Must be hot out there.
What are you doing?
You hit one.
Hey, watch the work.
To the men's room.
Less promises, more money!
Less promises, more money!
Do you know somebody's throwing water bombs out your windows?
What are you talking about?
Everybody saw it was coming from this floor.
We all saw it.
This is the executive floor.
That's utterly ridiculous.
Don't you call us ridiculous.
Is this what Madison Avenue represents?
And they call us savages.
What are you doing up?
I thought this was the bathroom.
It's down there.
Okay.
You want breakfast?
Happy Birthday.
Oh, thank you.
We should wait for his cake.
We're not gonna be here on his actual birthday.
Thank you.
It's from all of us.
We'll go to the deli for dinner tonight and have cherry cheesecake.
Open it now.
Yes, ma'am.
Can I turn the bacon?
No.
I love it.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning.
Hi, Megan.
Hi.
That's so nice.
He needs one of those.
It's a badger-- from its tail.
What are we doing today?
We're going to the Statue of Liberty.
You always say that, but we never do.
You hungry?
Just black coffee for me.
Okay, everybody.
Have a Happy Birthday.
Thank you, Sals.
How old are you gonna be?
40.
So when you're 40, how old will I be?
You'll be dead.
We're not gonna see you next weekend, but we'll see you the weekend after.
That's the 11th.
If you say so.
You'll be 70.
That's right.
You're not gonna come in?
No.
But give Morticia and Lurch my love.
Flick the porch light when you get there, all right?
All right.
Good night, animals.
Say good night, honey.
Good night, daddy.
Get your brother's hand.
Bye.
You're losing your head there.
Dandruff.
It's spit-up.
I saw your wife dropping you off.
Such a sweet scene.
Yes.
She has quite a smile.
She's getting back to herself.
How old's the kid?
I thought it would be a little faster.
Does she cry all the time?
No.
She just...
There was a time when she wouldn't leave the house in a robe.
Listen, there's a point when you go from going home on the 5:25 to the 7:05.
If you finally learn how to drive, you can push it to 9:30.
You're getting the wrong impression.
Or not come home at all.
Beth and I got into it so bad the other night, I just jumped in the car and drove.
Made it all the way to some motel in Rocky Hill.
Put my fist through a wall.
Howard, don't get emotional again.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe I am a little selfish.
I said I needed time with my thoughts.
She asked me what I do at work all day.
They don't understand.
Greenwich.
Next stop, Greenwich, Port Chester, Rye...
Who am I kidding?
It's nothing a little peace wouldn't fix.
There you go.
Morning.
Of course.
I'll let him know.
Was that for me?
No.
Who was it?
Really?
Fine.
What's Don up to today?
I see a lot of napping and pillow talk.
That's your schedule.
You all had the status meeting 20 minutes ago.
Can't you sit over there once in a while?
What if I have someone important coming in?
When you have somebody come in, I will sit over there.
Here, why don't you buy yourself a fancy hat or a mask or something?
No, thank you.
All I'm asking for is a few hours a day where the world might mistake you for my secretary.
Joan said you were supposed to share.
And his phone rings more.
Joan's not here.
And you just took $50 from me.
Let your conscience be your guide.
That feels good.
That feels so much better.
Yeah.
I was right.
Somebody was very wet.
When you were that size, I used to change you every hour whether you needed it or not.
I don't know how many times I have to say this.
Those go in the cabinet in the hallway.
I'm sorry.
I thought it'd be easier if they were near your bathroom.
I didn't mean it that way.
I haven't slept.
And I just feel cooped up in here.
I think it's bad for Kevin to be out there until I'm done cleaning the oven-- the fumes.
I don't know why you had to do that on a hot summer day.
Anyway, I think we're about to run out of formula.
Hello.
Hello, you.
You're gonna take a nap.
Would you like that?
You want to lay in the bed with mommy?
A 10?
You buying his formula or yours?
I'll take him for a walk.
Oh, God, would you?
You're gonna go with Grandma Gail.
That's where you're gonna go.
Close the door.
How was everybody's weekend?
Great.
We all went water-skiing together.
Made a human pyramid.
I was here.
Splendid.
So I trust you're adequately prepared for the Heinz presentation.
Yes, boss.
We have almost everything.
Mm-hmm.
Just short Mrs.
Draper's work.
She's writing the coupons.
Has Don signed off?
He's late.
And so is she, coincidentally.
Clara.
Clara!
She should have just rolled over and said, "Don, what do you think of this?"
I bet she says that every morning.
Come on, it's 11:00.
No sunbathing?
No.
Look, we had a three-day weekend and you didn't do anything?
That's not my calendar.
Clara.
How was your weekend?
Clara, is Mr.
Draper in yet?
No.
You're late for the status meeting.
You should probably go prepare instead of molesting my secretary.
Well, sweetheart, the torture's over.
Let the fun begin.
My office is 30 yards away.
So when I hit that buzzer, I'm trying to save myself a trip through the miracle of telephonics.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Draper are here.
Good morning.
So sorry.
I overslept.
That's not true.
I did.
How was Memorial Day?
It was nice.
We had my kids.
You had the status meeting at 10:00.
Morning.
Good morning.
Did you read about Y&R's paper bag drop?
I did.
I don't see the humor.
It's funny.
I mean, if nothing else, it serves them right for stealing Pond's.
What does one thing have to do with the other?
They stole the Pond's account and now they're a laughingstock.
Makes me feel better.
Gentlemen.
Shall we mosey on over to the conference room?
We did have a meeting at 10:00.
Morning, Lane, clipboard.
We should run a want ad saying something like, "Sterling Cooper, an equal opportunity employer."
Our windows don't open.
As tempting as it sounds, I don't know if we need to be spending money to further their embarrassment.
Look, if there's no line item for humiliating the competition, Don will write it and I'll pay for it.
But you're not allowed to read it.
Forget the want ads.
The advertising column.
I want them to see it.
So, Heinz is coming in.
Don?
Yes.
Caroline, can you get Megan and the Heinz boards, please?
Do you want the team?
No.
What else?
Status is status quo on my end.
I'm supposed to have drinks with Bruce Lewis from oldsmobile.
He wants to know if there's a way around nader.
There isn't.
Anything else?
Lane?
I have a lunch at the 4A's, so I should be back in time but not necessarily conscious.
And according to the memo, Kenny finally has signatures from Chevalier, Galone and Butler Shoes.
Footwear.
All good news.
I suppose that brings this meeting to a close.
Don, may I speak with you privately?
Uh, I should take a look at these right away.
Mr.
Campbell.
I have a call of nature.
Do not begin this meeting without me.
When is he free next?
You obviously haven't seen my coupons yet.
Let's get out of here.
No.
Then lock the door.
As soon as I'm in here longer than five minutes, people will start to...
What?
Who?
I have to get these to Peggy.
You have a presentation, you know.
I could make you go home right now, you know.
I have that power.
Mr.
Campbell is here to see you.
I just saw him.
I have to get back to work.
Open your blouse.
You're a dirty old man.
Anything else?
No, ma'am.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting?
I asked for your first available meeting, and it turns out you have nothing to do today.
If you could have any client in the world, who would you want?
American Airlines.
Why?
Because they stood us up.
Right.
So I started thinking, who has those feelings about us?
Mohawk Airlines.
You were very close.
The company's in a lot of trouble.
It's very nice that things have not gone well since we cut them loose.
They want to come back?
After the way we treated them...
So that American Airlines thing isn't happening?
I, for one, am very excited.
Oh, me, too.
I just don't understand the secrecy or the urgency.
I'm meeting with them today, and I think you should drop by.
Hank Lammott hit me pretty hard on his way out the door.
I may not help.
Don, you're the big draw.
They're not going to ask for someone else.
Look, get through this, get them back for more, and I'll make time in my busy schedule.
Got it.
I'll let you know when I need you to...
It's a good idea.
Can I get some coffee?
Oh, Megan, you're here.
I took a risk on one of them.
Two for 22¢.
Nice.
Of course, we're really locked into the 5¢ off, but good thinking.
Stan, can you do something to these?
Like what?
I don't know.
Do that thing with the border around the edge so it kind of looks like legal tender with the can of beans where Washington goes.
You want me to put a little wig on him?
Play with it.
Drop dead.
They keep asking me to be more and more specific until you're drawing it yourself.
Do you want me to move?
Oh, no, no.
I'm just looking for gum.
Oh, I have some.
So I have to ask your opinion about something.
You did a great job, but I can't really go overboard on coupons.
I did that kind of baloney for two years.
You should take comfort in the fact that it's very important to the client-- too important.
No, it's something else.
Tomorrow's Don's birthday.
Oh, shit.
It's June 1st?
Ugh, I forgot.
Got to get him something.
I still haven't gotten you a wedding present.
Sorry.
You know how busy I've been.
No, it's just, um...
I'm throwing a party for him on Saturday.
It's a surprise.
Oh, okay.
For Don?
Yes.
Men hate surprises.
Didn't you have "Lucy" in Canada?
Look, nobody likes it in theory, but people are always glad.
And you've never seen me throw a party.
Everyone's gonna home from this and they're gonna have sex.
Okay.
Sounds like fun for us at least.
I mean, if I'm invited.
I don't want to assume.
You're invited.
I'm not sure who else is.
I went through his rolodex.
I crossed out all the clients and everyone he's fired.
That doesn't leave a lot of people.
Freddy Rumsen doesn't come to parties.
You have to invite Harry.
I know, but he really doesn't like him.
Really?
I didn't say anything.
Frank Keller, his accountant?
He likes him.
There are six phone numbers for Herman Phillips.
Is he important?
That's Duck.
What birthday is it?
40.
How'd he do?
He was fussy the whole time.
But the elevator always knocks him out.
Must be the vibration.
Who would have thought you'd be so good at this?
You'll be good at it, too, sweetheart.
What am I going to do when you go home?
Are you really going back to that office?
You worked.
I had to.
Your husband's a doctor.
It doesn't matter.
I promised and they need me.
I'm not saying you're not important to them, but they also know that priorities change.
They should, anyway.
Why are you doing this?
You don't know how sick you're going to feel inside or what you're going to miss.
What he's doing now, that's nothing.
Just wait.
I know, I know.
I just-- I don't want to break my promise.
And Greg will be stationed at Fort Dix for a second year.
I can commute from New Jersey.
And then?
And then when he's done, we'll see.
Joan, he's not going to allow you to work.
Allow me?
Whither thou goest, I will go.
And how did that work out for you?
Ah, Pete Campbell.
Late as usual.
He obviously didn't come in on a Mohawk plane.
Hank.
Jack.
You're not late.
Roger told us to come early.
Hmm.
Have a seat.
You're only one behind, but they're nuclear.
Roger, they're looking for you back in the office.
It'll keep.
We were just laughing about Y&R.
It couldn't have happened to a better bunch of bigots.
Roger, it's an emergency.
Really?
Oh, come on.
We just got started.
All right, all right.
Sorry, fellas.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
You don't want me to fly copilot or be your wingman?
Check your valises?
Hold your airsickness bag?
Do you want me to throw one into the bag you're in?
You enjoy yourself, then.
Garcon, assume that these are gone.
I should warn you about these two-- They're a thirsty lot.
Always a pleasure.
When you're done with him, just fold him up and slide him under the door.
I love that guy.
And so we take advantage of this new microphotography and high-speed camera to show...
A bean ballet.
Spinning in air with their delicious perfection, the beans pirouette in slow motion, they somersault in slow motion.
Some of them spin clockwise, some counter-clockwise so they'll appear to be moving towards each other.
Until...
They drop into a full can first seen from the top.
There's a splash of mouth-watering sauce as each one lands.
Then we cut to the front, the iconic label. "
The art of supper."
Have you done this before, this special photography?
It's been done before, but you'll be the first on TV.
How do they get the beans to do that?
They can't just get lucky.
This camera can show a bullet spinning in midair.
Where's the bite and smile?
Ken, you said there'd be a bite and smile on the phone.
I think I said there was gonna be a bean ballet, Raymond.
But I'm sure we can add that.
And what do they take away from it?
It puts beans on their mind.
It's an unforgettable image.
And believe it or not, it makes them exciting.
And it'll show you have a sense of humor, because, really, they're being portrayed as far more important than they are.
You ever see beans up close they're slimy.
They look like a bunch of bloody organs.
And it's not just for fellas like me that saw things in Korea.
Kidney beans are called kidney beans because they're shaped that way.
But you could call all beans that.
They look better in a group, in a bowl.
Hell, what's wrong with a spoon?
Don.
Well, hello, Don.
Hello, Raymond.
Good to see you.
Are you as excited about this as we are?
I don't know.
You said to be bold.
Nothing on TV is going to look like this.
And just imagine seeing one of these dancing beans on the subway wall.
People will hear the music in their heads.
Look, it's very artistic.
And I want to be bold, but this isn't what I had in mind when I was talking about a new generation of consumers.
The ketchup kids, are they even going to notice this?
I mean, that waltz alone reminds me of old people.
Maybe I wasn't clear.
This is temporary music.
We can change it.
It's got no message.
I can see your point.
Beans is the war, the depression, bomb shelters.
We have to erase that.
They have to be cool.
Don, you know what I'm talking about.
I want the kids in college.
It's convenient.
They have the hot plate.
They're sitting in.
Okay.
We'll work on that.
Maybe it's someone with a picket sign saying, "We want beans."
You know what, Raymond?
This is our job from here on out.
We'll make you happy.
I'm really sorry about that.
Please, this is a process.
Let me walk you out.
What else you got?
That was the best thing so far.
Unless you like this beans protest.
Please, you can't be surprised that that man doesn't have a taste for ballet.
It's a joke on ballet.
And you can't be surprised he doesn't have a sense of humor.
I'm not.
But I guess I thought you'd come in here and tell them how good it was.
Do I really want to waste an hour and a half shoving it down his throat only to have him pull the plug at the last minute?
This is business that came in over the transom.
We didn't pitch it.
He has every right to make us work for it.
I wish I would have known that.
I would have saved this for round two.
We'll get him next time.
Caroline.
Is he in?
He's gone for the day.
Ha!
Ah!
Oh!
Damn it.
Clara.
Clara!
Oh, my goodness.
What happened?
You want me to get some tissue?
No.
I want you to tell me why Roger Sterling was at my meeting.
I don't know.
I know.
Because he hovers over your desk like a damn U-2.
What?
You think he's looking at your breasts?
He's looking at my calendar.
Did she hit you?
Thank you, Clara.
You've done enough damage for today.
You need to lower your voice.
Have a drink.
No, no more drinks.
Heinz looked miserable.
They're making us work for it.
Don didn't seem worried.
Did you crash with Mohawk?
No, it was perfect.
Except for my deep nausea and pending headache.
Oh, and Roger made an appearance.
Well, that shows it's a good lead.
It's my lead.
Wasn't Roger in the service with Henry Lammott?
Did you do any rowing?
You rowed?
I was a coxswain.
The boat moved because everyone pulls in the same direction.
I'm not supposed to worry about Roger.
I'm supposed to worry about other agencies.
You shouldn't be worried at all.
Business is stable.
Stable is that step backwards between successful and failing.
Fine, Pete.
Just don't be impatient.
You know how this works from here on out.
We start with a bunch of piddly shit.
Your topaz, your white knight cologne.
We add your mid-sized stuff.
Maybe Mohawk.
We still got Vicks.
That's big.
Next, we worm our way into a few niche companies, get something sexy in a good neighborhood, a pharmaceutical.
Maybe if God is gracious, a car.
And then we go public, open an office in Buenos Aires, and Elvis plays at Tammy's Sweet 16.
Kenny Cosgrove writes another great American novel.
You know it didn't hurt to have Roger warm them up.
There's no one better at turning a meeting into a bender.
And they love his pickled guts.
Am I going to see you at Chez Draper on Saturday?
I wish I could get overtime for it.
You ready?
We're almost done, actually.
Do you need her?
No, it's okay.
It'll be here in the morning.
Great.
Big weekend plans?
It's Tuesday.
I don't know.
I was talking about me.
My cousin's coming in.
Stan, assume that you're working.
Good night.
You're amazing.
It could have been worse.
I almost said, "I'm sorry I can't make it."
You're not going?
No, my cousin's on shore leave.
He's only got two days.
A little notice would have been nice.
I would have loved to have seen the look on Don's face.
You almost just saw it.
Like we have nothing else to do.
Did you believe him in there?
The guy didn't like it.
What was he supposed to say?
What he usually says. "
Hey, buddy, you got such great ideas, open your own agency."
The clients are right all of a sudden?
I don't recognize that man.
He's kind and patient.
And it galls you.
No, it concerns me.
Where are you going?
I've got tickets to the bean ballet and the curtain's about to go up.
Never gets old.
You're home late.
I thought I was going to have to walk home from the station, but luckily there was a cab driver leaving a bar.
How was your day?
I didn't want to disturb you.
Oh.
This becomes a home the minute you walk through that door.
There's no fruit to my labor, tweety.
Well, I suppose none of this counts-- An acre of land, a wife, a child.
That has nothing to do with work.
I'm ungrateful.
I'm sorry.
Dissatisfaction is a symptom of ambition.
It's the coal that fuels the fire.
You know that.
Do you really want a dog?
Maybe just a beagle to scare off gophers.
We'll see.
Oh, luckily my parents can baby-sit Saturday.
Now tell me the truth.
Did Megan really just invite you today?
She did.
I don't know about everyone else.
Well, she's very impulsive.
We know that.
I have to go to bed.
Tammy will be up in a hour.
Go ahead.
Attention, party guests.
Hello.
We're T-minus five minutes or so.
So if we can bring things down to a sotto voce, that would help.
I'm gonna turn off the lights.
No!
Well, fine.
Just keep it down.
My God, is he queer.
He reminds me of Lane's brother.
Ah!
Finally.
We're gonna go inside in a second.
You're the one that dragged me out to the restaurant.
Come on.
You have to knock.
You have to knock to get in.
What if it's started already?
It doesn't matter if it's started, you still have to knock.
No.
We were just in the neighborhood.
And my mother always said never show up empty-handed.
Oh, damn it.
No.
Calice.
Surprise!
Sorry, I blew it in the hall.
Aw!
But I am very surprised.
I have to say that I am honored and touched to be included in this group of intimates.
And I predicted this, did I not?
This.
Who is this?
Oh, that's my wife.
Nice to meet you.
Charmed.
The domino theory is not a joke.
The Vietnamese are fighting a civil war.
There is no monolithic communism.
It's an excuse.
Really?
Come on, Bert.
It's for profit.
Bombs are the perfect product.
They cost a fortune and you only use them once.
So I suppose this young man here is coming home in a bag for nothing.
If he's lucky.
You ever read "Johnny got his gun"?
No eyes, no ears, no nose, tapping out his last wishes in morse code with his deformed head.
I thought there we going to be girls here.
For purely selfish reasons, I want to thank you for excluding Joan.
I would have had to buy earplugs for the ride home.
It wasn't up to me.
Can't you tell?
Hell of a party.
Jennifer couldn't make it.
I'm sorry to hear that.
No, she couldn't get a date.
Anyway, I know she said no gifts, but I got you this.
Open it.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
It's a silver-handled walking stick.
Oh, look, he got you a cane.
Don Ameche has one.
It's a steinway walking stick.
You could stick it up your ass and have a concert.
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God, really?
Oh, a negro homosexual, a Canadian sexpot and unaccompanied redhead.
I think this may be my key demographic.
Hello.
Don't.
Just leave it alone.
I know.
You're wondering what they're laughing about.
It's not you.
Well, I for one think you're very brave, Megan.
My mother always said a woman should surprise her husband every day.
That's why they had no lock on the WC.
It's true.
Look at you delivering drinks.
We should get you a pair of roller skates.
Roger, I didn't know you were invited.
Or did you just hear I was coming and show up?
Is he going bald?
It just goes on and on.
It's beautiful, but it's very loud.
Listen, you can hear the traffic even over this party.
I know.
Who cares?
I just want to take my pants off and slide my ass on the carpeting.
How's the summer treating you?
Well, it's been good because it's been bad.
What do you do exactly?
He's a journalist.
Underground papers mostly.
You may not have seen it.
And what exactly has been bad?
Well, I don't know.
Four riots in three cities in two months.
It is terrible.
And lord knows the police aren't much help.
I was raised sex, politics, and religion aren't party talk.
Well, what does that leave?
I don't know.
Alcohol and work?
Mmm.
Hello again.
Trudes, which one is Jane Sterling again?
Mm, the glamour puss with the tan.
Marry early and often.
We're thinking about smoking some tea with Megan's friends out there.
Will you keep an eye out for Don?
As long as you're just thinking about it.
You should join us.
Kenny gets brave and recites poems.
And she thinks they're good.
Oh, absolutely.
Megan was the best waitress they ever had.
No, but I did get the best tips.
How did you manage that?
She laid on that accent.
You know, she's a really good actress.
Not good enough, obviously.
Julia, come here for a second.
Hello there.
Hello.
Glad you could come.
Great party.
You got a great spread here.
I just wanted to make sure we said hi.
I can't stay that long.
I have to go back and redo the Heinz pitch.
But I guess you know that.
Come on, Don.
What are you doing?
Was that bad?
Hell, look who you're talking to.
How do I know?
Okay, everyone.
My friends.
First of all, I wanted to thank you all for coming.
And second of all, I think I've had just enough to drink that I'm ready to give my own present to the birthday boy.
Oooh!
Thank you.
Thank you all for coming.
I think we should call it a night.
Absolutely not, Don.
You stay there.
Did you buy him a pony?
Un, deux, trois, quatre.
Oui, oui!
Oui!
Happy Birthday, baby.
Why don't you sing like that?
Why don't you look like him?
Je m'appelle Roger.
If I may raise a glass.
Happy Birthday, Don!
As I was saying-- to Megan for letting us see the Don Draper smile usually reserved for clients.
Hear, hear!
And to Don, you lucky so and so.
As a wise man once said, the only thing worse than not getting what you want is someone else getting it.
Okay, now, no one has called and complained, so there's no reason everyone shouldn't dance.
I should probably clean up.
Leave it for the girl.
She doesn't come till Monday.
Call her and have her come tomorrow.
And Monday.
Problem solved.
Did you have fun?
Move over.
No, I just want to sleep.
Oh, come on.
I know you had a good time.
I can see it.
I don't want to talk.
I just want to go to sleep.
Hey.
Don't waste money on things like that.
It was my money and you don't get to decide what I do with it.
Well, cod you please not use it to embarrass me again?
What?
I know why you're upset.
You're 40.
I've been 40 for half a year.
This is your birthday now.
Fine, I don't like my birthday.
I told you, I never had it when I was growing up and I've never wanted it since.
You never had a birthday?
Didn't Betty ever throw you a party?
No, because I forbid it.
Why?
I don't need to be the center of attention.
You love attention.
You twitched every time I talked to another person.
More people feel the way I do than the way you do.
Where's your research?
Fine, I'm 40.
It's too late.
Aw.
Nobody loves Dick Whitman.
I love you.
That's why I threw you a party.
I'm going to sleep.
You can do what you want.
Excuse me.
Someone's left-- There's a wallet here from some previous passenger.
Oh, I'll turn it in to dispatch.
They got a lost and found.
There's close to $100.
Yeah, it happens all the time.
I'd-- I'd feel better if I saw to its return.
You're putting me in a jam here.
The guy's gonna call looking for it.
That's me.
You know what?
You do what you got to do, mister.
Oh, that's for you.
High tides and heavy surf battered the coast of North Carolina day.
Force 40 winds and heavy rain forced evacuation along the coast as far inland as three miles.
That was quite a soiree.
Did Masters and Johnson come in yet?
They haven't passed by.
I should come and sit down, so I can see them slink in in shame.
You seem to be in fine spirits.
Well, I didn't get into too much trouble on Saturday.
Plus, Mohawk called me at home this morning.
Ah.
I hate to interrupt, Mr.
Pryce, but I have your wife.
Which line?
Three.
It's blinking.
They're all blinking.
Three.
If you don't mind.
I've called a partners' meeting.
Hello, dearest.
Look, I know you were upset when you left, and perhaps I'm overreacting.
Becca, dear, this is why I don't like you opening the mail.
I only want to ensure that Nigel is enrolled in the fall.
Nigel's enrollment isn't an issue whether we pay now or not.
Then why would they attach such a threatening letter to a bill?
Wouldn't you rather have your money in June than September if you were them?
Well, I worry about them saving his spot for him, especially with his marks.
I assure you that St.
Paul's is aware that we plan on having him return and simply wishes to earn whatever interest they can on the full amount for the next three months.
Couldn't you spare that interest in exchange for my peace of mind?
Lane, darling?
What?
I'm sorry.
I didn't get that last bit.
Nothing.
Don't forget to get the name of Megan's real estate agent.
Yes, dear.
And her decorator.
Oh, Apolo, you're so good with him.
Oh, I wasn't expecting you back so soon.
First in line at the post office.
It wasn't that bad.
Hello, Miss Joan.
Sink is draining.
Turns out it was a lemon peel.
I'm sure you know we're appreciative, but mother and I have so much to do.
I am busy, busy, too.
Oh, you don't have to rush off.
He doesn't have to rush off, does he?
When you need Apolo, you call Apolo.
I want him to hear-- That was just rude.
It is one thing to have him work here, it is another thing to give him cake and my baby.
His fingers have been in every toilet from here to the bowery.
He brought the cookies.
If you want to go on a date with him, just ask.
He's married with four children.
I'm just making sure this apartment gets his attention.
This apartment has never had any trouble getting his attention.
Yes, Joanie.
Everyone's staring at you.
You know you're not exactly at your fighting weight.
Try me.
You asked me to come out here.
You can go home any time you want.
You should think before you say that.
I got my money's worth.
Well, I wasn't going to show you this.
That doesn't make any sense.
Look, I'm sure it's not the way anyone wants you to find out.
No, it's not in the want ads.
And, honestly, they don't have the money for more people.
It's not more people.
It's you.
You love stirring the shit.
I am telling you something you don't want to hear.
And you are making this very painful for me.
Megan Draper just invited me to her party.
At the very last minute.
Don't tell me that girl's not conniving.
You think she wants you around her husband?
I'm going to lie down.
Sometimes life makes decisions for you.
Have a good day.
Okay.
Bonjour.
I know your birthday was last week, and I was told you don't celebrate it and not to bring it up.
Now I feel like I got caught with my pants down, so I got you a little something.
It's a plant.
I just wanted to say Happy Birthday.
Kiss-ass.
Thank you.
I can get you some coffee, but there's a partners' meeting.
Nobody's there.
It's in Mr.
Campbell's office.
You want to smile?
Is it your obituary?
No, it's the little salt we rubbed in Y&R's wound.
It's beautiful, no?
That's Mr.
Campbell.
Shall we?
Roger.
What?
You're going to Vietnam!
I think I'd like eventually to do what you do.
Every chip I make we become less dependent on you!
Why you...
Roger...
I have made the best of this.
This is not my home.
Feel him.
The Mohawk Airlines is over.
Don't stop.
I'm late.
Me?
He's been gone for seven weeks, it can't be his.
When can I start looking?
I'm so in love with Greenwich.
Will you marry me?
Yes!
Things aren't perfect.
O-wee-o, o-wee-o.
We got the poverty, where is the dough?
O-wee-o, o-wee-o.
We got the poverty, where is the dough?
Shut up!
Get a job!
Somebody call the cops.
That's all there is-- cops and negroes and priests.
You're walking in a circle.
Must be hot out there.
What are you doing?
You hit one.
Hey, watch the work.
To the men's room.
Less promises, more money!
Less promises, more money!
Do you know somebody's throwing water bombs out your windows?
What are you talking about?
Everybody saw it was coming from this floor.
We all saw it.
This is the executive floor.
That's utterly ridiculous.
Don't you call us ridiculous.
Is this what Madison Avenue represents?
And they call us savages.
What are you doing up?
I thought this was the bathroom.
It's down there.
Okay.
You want breakfast?
Happy Birthday.
Oh, thank you.
We should wait for his cake.
We're not gonna be here on his actual birthday.
Thank you.
It's from all of us.
We'll go to the deli for dinner tonight and have cherry cheesecake.
Open it now.
Yes, ma'am.
Can I turn the bacon?
No.
I love it.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning.
Hi, Megan.
Hi.
That's so nice.
He needs one of those.
It's a badger-- from its tail.
What are we doing today?
We're going to the Statue of Liberty.
You always say that, but we never do.
You hungry?
Just black coffee for me.
Okay, everybody.
Have a Happy Birthday.
Thank you, Sals.
How old are you gonna be?
40.
So when you're 40, how old will I be?
You'll be dead.
We're not gonna see you next weekend, but we'll see you the weekend after.
That's the 11th.
If you say so.
You'll be 70.
That's right.
You're not gonna come in?
No.
But give Morticia and Lurch my love.
Flick the porch light when you get there, all right?
All right.
Good night, animals.
Say good night, honey.
Good night, daddy.
Get your brother's hand.
Bye.
You're losing your head there.
Dandruff.
It's spit-up.
I saw your wife dropping you off.
Such a sweet scene.
Yes.
She has quite a smile.
She's getting back to herself.
How old's the kid?
I thought it would be a little faster.
Does she cry all the time?
No.
She just...
There was a time when she wouldn't leave the house in a robe.
Listen, there's a point when you go from going home on the 5:25 to the 7:05.
If you finally learn how to drive, you can push it to 9:30.
You're getting the wrong impression.
Or not come home at all.
Beth and I got into it so bad the other night, I just jumped in the car and drove.
Made it all the way to some motel in Rocky Hill.
Put my fist through a wall.
Howard, don't get emotional again.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe I am a little selfish.
I said I needed time with my thoughts.
She asked me what I do at work all day.
They don't understand.
Greenwich.
Next stop, Greenwich, Port Chester, Rye...
Who am I kidding?
It's nothing a little peace wouldn't fix.
There you go.
Morning.
Of course.
I'll let him know.
Was that for me?
No.
Who was it?
Really?
Fine.
What's Don up to today?
I see a lot of napping and pillow talk.
That's your schedule.
You all had the status meeting 20 minutes ago.
Can't you sit over there once in a while?
What if I have someone important coming in?
When you have somebody come in, I will sit over there.
Here, why don't you buy yourself a fancy hat or a mask or something?
No, thank you.
All I'm asking for is a few hours a day where the world might mistake you for my secretary.
Joan said you were supposed to share.
And his phone rings more.
Joan's not here.
And you just took $50 from me.
Let your conscience be your guide.
That feels good.
That feels so much better.
Yeah.
I was right.
Somebody was very wet.
When you were that size, I used to change you every hour whether you needed it or not.
I don't know how many times I have to say this.
Those go in the cabinet in the hallway.
I'm sorry.
I thought it'd be easier if they were near your bathroom.
I didn't mean it that way.
I haven't slept.
And I just feel cooped up in here.
I think it's bad for Kevin to be out there until I'm done cleaning the oven-- the fumes.
I don't know why you had to do that on a hot summer day.
Anyway, I think we're about to run out of formula.
Hello.
Hello, you.
You're gonna take a nap.
Would you like that?
You want to lay in the bed with mommy?
A 10?
You buying his formula or yours?
I'll take him for a walk.
Oh, God, would you?
You're gonna go with Grandma Gail.
That's where you're gonna go.
Close the door.
How was everybody's weekend?
Great.
We all went water-skiing together.
Made a human pyramid.
I was here.
Splendid.
So I trust you're adequately prepared for the Heinz presentation.
Yes, boss.
We have almost everything.
Mm-hmm.
Just short Mrs.
Draper's work.
She's writing the coupons.
Has Don signed off?
He's late.
And so is she, coincidentally.
Clara.
Clara!
She should have just rolled over and said, "Don, what do you think of this?"
I bet she says that every morning.
Come on, it's 11:00.
No sunbathing?
No.
Look, we had a three-day weekend and you didn't do anything?
That's not my calendar.
Clara.
How was your weekend?
Clara, is Mr.
Draper in yet?
No.
You're late for the status meeting.
You should probably go prepare instead of molesting my secretary.
Well, sweetheart, the torture's over.
Let the fun begin.
My office is 30 yards away.
So when I hit that buzzer, I'm trying to save myself a trip through the miracle of telephonics.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Draper are here.
Good morning.
So sorry.
I overslept.
That's not true.
I did.
How was Memorial Day?
It was nice.
We had my kids.
You had the status meeting at 10:00.
Morning.
Good morning.
Did you read about Y&R's paper bag drop?
I did.
I don't see the humor.
It's funny.
I mean, if nothing else, it serves them right for stealing Pond's.
What does one thing have to do with the other?
They stole the Pond's account and now they're a laughingstock.
Makes me feel better.
Gentlemen.
Shall we mosey on over to the conference room?
We did have a meeting at 10:00.
Morning, Lane, clipboard.
We should run a want ad saying something like, "Sterling Cooper, an equal opportunity employer."
Our windows don't open.
As tempting as it sounds, I don't know if we need to be spending money to further their embarrassment.
Look, if there's no line item for humiliating the competition, Don will write it and I'll pay for it.
But you're not allowed to read it.
Forget the want ads.
The advertising column.
I want them to see it.
So, Heinz is coming in.
Don?
Yes.
Caroline, can you get Megan and the Heinz boards, please?
Do you want the team?
No.
What else?
Status is status quo on my end.
I'm supposed to have drinks with Bruce Lewis from oldsmobile.
He wants to know if there's a way around nader.
There isn't.
Anything else?
Lane?
I have a lunch at the 4A's, so I should be back in time but not necessarily conscious.
And according to the memo, Kenny finally has signatures from Chevalier, Galone and Butler Shoes.
Footwear.
All good news.
I suppose that brings this meeting to a close.
Don, may I speak with you privately?
Uh, I should take a look at these right away.
Mr.
Campbell.
I have a call of nature.
Do not begin this meeting without me.
When is he free next?
You obviously haven't seen my coupons yet.
Let's get out of here.
No.
Then lock the door.
As soon as I'm in here longer than five minutes, people will start to...
What?
Who?
I have to get these to Peggy.
You have a presentation, you know.
I could make you go home right now, you know.
I have that power.
Mr.
Campbell is here to see you.
I just saw him.
I have to get back to work.
Open your blouse.
You're a dirty old man.
Anything else?
No, ma'am.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting?
I asked for your first available meeting, and it turns out you have nothing to do today.
If you could have any client in the world, who would you want?
American Airlines.
Why?
Because they stood us up.
Right.
So I started thinking, who has those feelings about us?
Mohawk Airlines.
You were very close.
The company's in a lot of trouble.
It's very nice that things have not gone well since we cut them loose.
They want to come back?
After the way we treated them...
So that American Airlines thing isn't happening?
I, for one, am very excited.
Oh, me, too.
I just don't understand the secrecy or the urgency.
I'm meeting with them today, and I think you should drop by.
Hank Lammott hit me pretty hard on his way out the door.
I may not help.
Don, you're the big draw.
They're not going to ask for someone else.
Look, get through this, get them back for more, and I'll make time in my busy schedule.
Got it.
I'll let you know when I need you to...
It's a good idea.
Can I get some coffee?
Oh, Megan, you're here.
I took a risk on one of them.
Two for 22¢.
Nice.
Of course, we're really locked into the 5¢ off, but good thinking.
Stan, can you do something to these?
Like what?
I don't know.
Do that thing with the border around the edge so it kind of looks like legal tender with the can of beans where Washington goes.
You want me to put a little wig on him?
Play with it.
Drop dead.
They keep asking me to be more and more specific until you're drawing it yourself.
Do you want me to move?
Oh, no, no.
I'm just looking for gum.
Oh, I have some.
So I have to ask your opinion about something.
You did a great job, but I can't really go overboard on coupons.
I did that kind of baloney for two years.
You should take comfort in the fact that it's very important to the client-- too important.
No, it's something else.
Tomorrow's Don's birthday.
Oh, shit.
It's June 1st?
Ugh, I forgot.
Got to get him something.
I still haven't gotten you a wedding present.
Sorry.
You know how busy I've been.
No, it's just, um...
I'm throwing a party for him on Saturday.
It's a surprise.
Oh, okay.
For Don?
Yes.
Men hate surprises.
Didn't you have "Lucy" in Canada?
Look, nobody likes it in theory, but people are always glad.
And you've never seen me throw a party.
Everyone's gonna home from this and they're gonna have sex.
Okay.
Sounds like fun for us at least.
I mean, if I'm invited.
I don't want to assume.
You're invited.
I'm not sure who else is.
I went through his rolodex.
I crossed out all the clients and everyone he's fired.
That doesn't leave a lot of people.
Freddy Rumsen doesn't come to parties.
You have to invite Harry.
I know, but he really doesn't like him.
Really?
I didn't say anything.
Frank Keller, his accountant?
He likes him.
There are six phone numbers for Herman Phillips.
Is he important?
That's Duck.
What birthday is it?
40.
How'd he do?
He was fussy the whole time.
But the elevator always knocks him out.
Must be the vibration.
Who would have thought you'd be so good at this?
You'll be good at it, too, sweetheart.
What am I going to do when you go home?
Are you really going back to that office?
You worked.
I had to.
Your husband's a doctor.
It doesn't matter.
I promised and they need me.
I'm not saying you're not important to them, but they also know that priorities change.
They should, anyway.
Why are you doing this?
You don't know how sick you're going to feel inside or what you're going to miss.
What he's doing now, that's nothing.
Just wait.
I know, I know.
I just-- I don't want to break my promise.
And Greg will be stationed at Fort Dix for a second year.
I can commute from New Jersey.
And then?
And then when he's done, we'll see.
Joan, he's not going to allow you to work.
Allow me?
Whither thou goest, I will go.
And how did that work out for you?
Ah, Pete Campbell.
Late as usual.
He obviously didn't come in on a Mohawk plane.
Hank.
Jack.
You're not late.
Roger told us to come early.
Hmm.
Have a seat.
You're only one behind, but they're nuclear.
Roger, they're looking for you back in the office.
It'll keep.
We were just laughing about Y&R.
It couldn't have happened to a better bunch of bigots.
Roger, it's an emergency.
Really?
Oh, come on.
We just got started.
All right, all right.
Sorry, fellas.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
You don't want me to fly copilot or be your wingman?
Check your valises?
Hold your airsickness bag?
Do you want me to throw one into the bag you're in?
You enjoy yourself, then.
Garcon, assume that these are gone.
I should warn you about these two-- They're a thirsty lot.
Always a pleasure.
When you're done with him, just fold him up and slide him under the door.
I love that guy.
And so we take advantage of this new microphotography and high-speed camera to show...
A bean ballet.
Spinning in air with their delicious perfection, the beans pirouette in slow motion, they somersault in slow motion.
Some of them spin clockwise, some counter-clockwise so they'll appear to be moving towards each other.
Until...
They drop into a full can first seen from the top.
There's a splash of mouth-watering sauce as each one lands.
Then we cut to the front, the iconic label. "
The art of supper."
Have you done this before, this special photography?
It's been done before, but you'll be the first on TV.
How do they get the beans to do that?
They can't just get lucky.
This camera can show a bullet spinning in midair.
Where's the bite and smile?
Ken, you said there'd be a bite and smile on the phone.
I think I said there was gonna be a bean ballet, Raymond.
But I'm sure we can add that.
And what do they take away from it?
It puts beans on their mind.
It's an unforgettable image.
And believe it or not, it makes them exciting.
And it'll show you have a sense of humor, because, really, they're being portrayed as far more important than they are.
You ever see beans up close they're slimy.
They look like a bunch of bloody organs.
And it's not just for fellas like me that saw things in Korea.
Kidney beans are called kidney beans because they're shaped that way.
But you could call all beans that.
They look better in a group, in a bowl.
Hell, what's wrong with a spoon?
Don.
Well, hello, Don.
Hello, Raymond.
Good to see you.
Are you as excited about this as we are?
I don't know.
You said to be bold.
Nothing on TV is going to look like this.
And just imagine seeing one of these dancing beans on the subway wall.
People will hear the music in their heads.
Look, it's very artistic.
And I want to be bold, but this isn't what I had in mind when I was talking about a new generation of consumers.
The ketchup kids, are they even going to notice this?
I mean, that waltz alone reminds me of old people.
Maybe I wasn't clear.
This is temporary music.
We can change it.
It's got no message.
I can see your point.
Beans is the war, the depression, bomb shelters.
We have to erase that.
They have to be cool.
Don, you know what I'm talking about.
I want the kids in college.
It's convenient.
They have the hot plate.
They're sitting in.
Okay.
We'll work on that.
Maybe it's someone with a picket sign saying, "We want beans."
You know what, Raymond?
This is our job from here on out.
We'll make you happy.
I'm really sorry about that.
Please, this is a process.
Let me walk you out.
What else you got?
That was the best thing so far.
Unless you like this beans protest.
Please, you can't be surprised that that man doesn't have a taste for ballet.
It's a joke on ballet.
And you can't be surprised he doesn't have a sense of humor.
I'm not.
But I guess I thought you'd come in here and tell them how good it was.
Do I really want to waste an hour and a half shoving it down his throat only to have him pull the plug at the last minute?
This is business that came in over the transom.
We didn't pitch it.
He has every right to make us work for it.
I wish I would have known that.
I would have saved this for round two.
We'll get him next time.
Caroline.
Is he in?
He's gone for the day.
Ha!
Ah!
Oh!
Damn it.
Clara.
Clara!
Oh, my goodness.
What happened?
You want me to get some tissue?
No.
I want you to tell me why Roger Sterling was at my meeting.
I don't know.
I know.
Because he hovers over your desk like a damn U-2.
What?
You think he's looking at your breasts?
He's looking at my calendar.
Did she hit you?
Thank you, Clara.
You've done enough damage for today.
You need to lower your voice.
Have a drink.
No, no more drinks.
Heinz looked miserable.
They're making us work for it.
Don didn't seem worried.
Did you crash with Mohawk?
No, it was perfect.
Except for my deep nausea and pending headache.
Oh, and Roger made an appearance.
Well, that shows it's a good lead.
It's my lead.
Wasn't Roger in the service with Henry Lammott?
Did you do any rowing?
You rowed?
I was a coxswain.
The boat moved because everyone pulls in the same direction.
I'm not supposed to worry about Roger.
I'm supposed to worry about other agencies.
You shouldn't be worried at all.
Business is stable.
Stable is that step backwards between successful and failing.
Fine, Pete.
Just don't be impatient.
You know how this works from here on out.
We start with a bunch of piddly shit.
Your topaz, your white knight cologne.
We add your mid-sized stuff.
Maybe Mohawk.
We still got Vicks.
That's big.
Next, we worm our way into a few niche companies, get something sexy in a good neighborhood, a pharmaceutical.
Maybe if God is gracious, a car.
And then we go public, open an office in Buenos Aires, and Elvis plays at Tammy's Sweet 16.
Kenny Cosgrove writes another great American novel.
You know it didn't hurt to have Roger warm them up.
There's no one better at turning a meeting into a bender.
And they love his pickled guts.
Am I going to see you at Chez Draper on Saturday?
I wish I could get overtime for it.
You ready?
We're almost done, actually.
Do you need her?
No, it's okay.
It'll be here in the morning.
Great.
Big weekend plans?
It's Tuesday.
I don't know.
I was talking about me.
My cousin's coming in.
Stan, assume that you're working.
Good night.
You're amazing.
It could have been worse.
I almost said, "I'm sorry I can't make it."
You're not going?
No, my cousin's on shore leave.
He's only got two days.
A little notice would have been nice.
I would have loved to have seen the look on Don's face.
You almost just saw it.
Like we have nothing else to do.
Did you believe him in there?
The guy didn't like it.
What was he supposed to say?
What he usually says. "
Hey, buddy, you got such great ideas, open your own agency."
The clients are right all of a sudden?
I don't recognize that man.
He's kind and patient.
And it galls you.
No, it concerns me.
Where are you going?
I've got tickets to the bean ballet and the curtain's about to go up.
Never gets old.
You're home late.
I thought I was going to have to walk home from the station, but luckily there was a cab driver leaving a bar.
How was your day?
I didn't want to disturb you.
Oh.
This becomes a home the minute you walk through that door.
There's no fruit to my labor, tweety.
Well, I suppose none of this counts-- An acre of land, a wife, a child.
That has nothing to do with work.
I'm ungrateful.
I'm sorry.
Dissatisfaction is a symptom of ambition.
It's the coal that fuels the fire.
You know that.
Do you really want a dog?
Maybe just a beagle to scare off gophers.
We'll see.
Oh, luckily my parents can baby-sit Saturday.
Now tell me the truth.
Did Megan really just invite you today?
She did.
I don't know about everyone else.
Well, she's very impulsive.
We know that.
I have to go to bed.
Tammy will be up in a hour.
Go ahead.
Attention, party guests.
Hello.
We're T-minus five minutes or so.
So if we can bring things down to a sotto voce, that would help.
I'm gonna turn off the lights.
No!
Well, fine.
Just keep it down.
My God, is he queer.
He reminds me of Lane's brother.
Ah!
Finally.
We're gonna go inside in a second.
You're the one that dragged me out to the restaurant.
Come on.
You have to knock.
You have to knock to get in.
What if it's started already?
It doesn't matter if it's started, you still have to knock.
No.
We were just in the neighborhood.
And my mother always said never show up empty-handed.
Oh, damn it.
No.
Calice.
Surprise!
Sorry, I blew it in the hall.
Aw!
But I am very surprised.
I have to say that I am honored and touched to be included in this group of intimates.
And I predicted this, did I not?
This.
Who is this?
Oh, that's my wife.
Nice to meet you.
Charmed.
The domino theory is not a joke.
The Vietnamese are fighting a civil war.
There is no monolithic communism.
It's an excuse.
Really?
Come on, Bert.
It's for profit.
Bombs are the perfect product.
They cost a fortune and you only use them once.
So I suppose this young man here is coming home in a bag for nothing.
If he's lucky.
You ever read "Johnny got his gun"?
No eyes, no ears, no nose, tapping out his last wishes in morse code with his deformed head.
I thought there we going to be girls here.
For purely selfish reasons, I want to thank you for excluding Joan.
I would have had to buy earplugs for the ride home.
It wasn't up to me.
Can't you tell?
Hell of a party.
Jennifer couldn't make it.
I'm sorry to hear that.
No, she couldn't get a date.
Anyway, I know she said no gifts, but I got you this.
Open it.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
It's a silver-handled walking stick.
Oh, look, he got you a cane.
Don Ameche has one.
It's a steinway walking stick.
You could stick it up your ass and have a concert.
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God, really?
Oh, a negro homosexual, a Canadian sexpot and unaccompanied redhead.
I think this may be my key demographic.
Hello.
Don't.
Just leave it alone.
I know.
You're wondering what they're laughing about.
It's not you.
Well, I for one think you're very brave, Megan.
My mother always said a woman should surprise her husband every day.
That's why they had no lock on the WC.
It's true.
Look at you delivering drinks.
We should get you a pair of roller skates.
Roger, I didn't know you were invited.
Or did you just hear I was coming and show up?
Is he going bald?
It just goes on and on.
It's beautiful, but it's very loud.
Listen, you can hear the traffic even over this party.
I know.
Who cares?
I just want to take my pants off and slide my ass on the carpeting.
How's the summer treating you?
Well, it's been good because it's been bad.
What do you do exactly?
He's a journalist.
Underground papers mostly.
You may not have seen it.
And what exactly has been bad?
Well, I don't know.
Four riots in three cities in two months.
It is terrible.
And lord knows the police aren't much help.
I was raised sex, politics, and religion aren't party talk.
Well, what does that leave?
I don't know.
Alcohol and work?
Mmm.
Hello again.
Trudes, which one is Jane Sterling again?
Mm, the glamour puss with the tan.
Marry early and often.
We're thinking about smoking some tea with Megan's friends out there.
Will you keep an eye out for Don?
As long as you're just thinking about it.
You should join us.
Kenny gets brave and recites poems.
And she thinks they're good.
Oh, absolutely.
Megan was the best waitress they ever had.
No, but I did get the best tips.
How did you manage that?
She laid on that accent.
You know, she's a really good actress.
Not good enough, obviously.
Julia, come here for a second.
Hello there.
Hello.
Glad you could come.
Great party.
You got a great spread here.
I just wanted to make sure we said hi.
I can't stay that long.
I have to go back and redo the Heinz pitch.
But I guess you know that.
Come on, Don.
What are you doing?
Was that bad?
Hell, look who you're talking to.
How do I know?
Okay, everyone.
My friends.
First of all, I wanted to thank you all for coming.
And second of all, I think I've had just enough to drink that I'm ready to give my own present to the birthday boy.
Oooh!
Thank you.
Thank you all for coming.
I think we should call it a night.
Absolutely not, Don.
You stay there.
Did you buy him a pony?
Un, deux, trois, quatre.
Oui, oui!
Oui!
Happy Birthday, baby.
Why don't you sing like that?
Why don't you look like him?
Je m'appelle Roger.
If I may raise a glass.
Happy Birthday, Don!
As I was saying-- to Megan for letting us see the Don Draper smile usually reserved for clients.
Hear, hear!
And to Don, you lucky so and so.
As a wise man once said, the only thing worse than not getting what you want is someone else getting it.
Okay, now, no one has called and complained, so there's no reason everyone shouldn't dance.
I should probably clean up.
Leave it for the girl.
She doesn't come till Monday.
Call her and have her come tomorrow.
And Monday.
Problem solved.
Did you have fun?
Move over.
No, I just want to sleep.
Oh, come on.
I know you had a good time.
I can see it.
I don't want to talk.
I just want to go to sleep.
Hey.
Don't waste money on things like that.
It was my money and you don't get to decide what I do with it.
Well, cod you please not use it to embarrass me again?
What?
I know why you're upset.
You're 40.
I've been 40 for half a year.
This is your birthday now.
Fine, I don't like my birthday.
I told you, I never had it when I was growing up and I've never wanted it since.
You never had a birthday?
Didn't Betty ever throw you a party?
No, because I forbid it.
Why?
I don't need to be the center of attention.
You love attention.
You twitched every time I talked to another person.
More people feel the way I do than the way you do.
Where's your research?
Fine, I'm 40.
It's too late.
Aw.
Nobody loves Dick Whitman.
I love you.
That's why I threw you a party.
I'm going to sleep.
You can do what you want.
Excuse me.
Someone's left-- There's a wallet here from some previous passenger.
Oh, I'll turn it in to dispatch.
They got a lost and found.
There's close to $100.
Yeah, it happens all the time.
I'd-- I'd feel better if I saw to its return.
You're putting me in a jam here.
The guy's gonna call looking for it.
That's me.
You know what?
You do what you got to do, mister.
Oh, that's for you.
High tides and heavy surf battered the coast of North Carolina day.
Force 40 winds and heavy rain forced evacuation along the coast as far inland as three miles.
That was quite a soiree.
Did Masters and Johnson come in yet?
They haven't passed by.
I should come and sit down, so I can see them slink in in shame.
You seem to be in fine spirits.
Well, I didn't get into too much trouble on Saturday.
Plus, Mohawk called me at home this morning.
Ah.
I hate to interrupt, Mr.
Pryce, but I have your wife.
Which line?
Three.
It's blinking.
They're all blinking.
Three.
If you don't mind.
I've called a partners' meeting.
Hello, dearest.
Look, I know you were upset when you left, and perhaps I'm overreacting.
Becca, dear, this is why I don't like you opening the mail.
I only want to ensure that Nigel is enrolled in the fall.
Nigel's enrollment isn't an issue whether we pay now or not.
Then why would they attach such a threatening letter to a bill?
Wouldn't you rather have your money in June than September if you were them?
Well, I worry about them saving his spot for him, especially with his marks.
I assure you that St.
Paul's is aware that we plan on having him return and simply wishes to earn whatever interest they can on the full amount for the next three months.
Couldn't you spare that interest in exchange for my peace of mind?
Lane, darling?
What?
I'm sorry.
I didn't get that last bit.
Nothing.
Don't forget to get the name of Megan's real estate agent.
Yes, dear.
And her decorator.
Oh, Apolo, you're so good with him.
Oh, I wasn't expecting you back so soon.
First in line at the post office.
It wasn't that bad.
Hello, Miss Joan.
Sink is draining.
Turns out it was a lemon peel.
I'm sure you know we're appreciative, but mother and I have so much to do.
I am busy, busy, too.
Oh, you don't have to rush off.
He doesn't have to rush off, does he?
When you need Apolo, you call Apolo.
I want him to hear-- That was just rude.
It is one thing to have him work here, it is another thing to give him cake and my baby.
His fingers have been in every toilet from here to the bowery.
He brought the cookies.
If you want to go on a date with him, just ask.
He's married with four children.
I'm just making sure this apartment gets his attention.
This apartment has never had any trouble getting his attention.
Yes, Joanie.
Everyone's staring at you.
You know you're not exactly at your fighting weight.
Try me.
You asked me to come out here.
You can go home any time you want.
You should think before you say that.
I got my money's worth.
Well, I wasn't going to show you this.
That doesn't make any sense.
Look, I'm sure it's not the way anyone wants you to find out.
No, it's not in the want ads.
And, honestly, they don't have the money for more people.
It's not more people.
It's you.
You love stirring the shit.
I am telling you something you don't want to hear.
And you are making this very painful for me.
Megan Draper just invited me to her party.
At the very last minute.
Don't tell me that girl's not conniving.
You think she wants you around her husband?
I'm going to lie down.
Sometimes life makes decisions for you.
Have a good day.
Okay.
Bonjour.
I know your birthday was last week, and I was told you don't celebrate it and not to bring it up.
Now I feel like I got caught with my pants down, so I got you a little something.
It's a plant.
I just wanted to say Happy Birthday.
Kiss-ass.
Thank you.
I can get you some coffee, but there's a partners' meeting.
Nobody's there.
It's in Mr.
Campbell's office.
You want to smile?
Is it your obituary?
No, it's the little salt we rubbed in Y&R's wound.
It's beautiful, no?
That's Mr.
Campbell.
Shall we?
Roger.
What?