Show: Rescue Me - 7x8
Previously on "Rescue Me..."
Will you marry me?
Yes.
I want to pay.
I want to pay for the whole thing, OK?
OK.
Tommy, I do not want her to pay for our daughter's wedding.
We're taking Sheila's money, and Colleen's going to have the greatest day in the history of all the days that she's ever going to have.
Ok.
Here's what I have to say to you.
I think you're awesome, and I have such a fantastic time with you.
I think you're awesome, too.
But here's the thing.
After we, you know, have sex-- amazing sex, by the way.
The best sex I've ever had in my entire life-- it's--there's this-- It's the smell, right?
The penetration gives me gas.
Our friend Tommy has been writing lately.
Letters.
And it is only in the event of his death we can actually read them.
I read mine already.
I went to Sheila's, and I gave her the letter because I knew that she was totally pissed at you, all right?
And look, it turned everything around.
And then, I knew that Janet wanted to kill you, so I went over there and I gave her the letter.
I want to do something that you can't, Tom, which is to express your real feelings for people while you're still alive.
Oh.
This is my day, OK?
The most important day in my life so far.
So please, no yelling, no drinking, no finger pointing, no fist punching, and I forgot.
Uncle Teddy's walking me down the aisle now.
What?
Relax, will you?
It will all be over in a couple of hours.
Those your folks?
Yep.
Hmm.
I didn't know your mom was Puerto Rican.
Mexican.
Oh.
You didn't think that was information that you should have shared with the in-laws before the big day?
Not when the in-laws are a bunch of racist, drunk-ass micks.
We're not racist, OK?
We're a little bit narrow-minded and intolerant.
Hey, don't forget.
My mother thinks you're a real priest.
Well, I was, once.
What forced you out?
The booze?
Well, a little bit of that, you know.
Mostly the scandals, the cover-ups, the dogma.
You missed the pussy, didn't you?
Oh, God, yeah.
And you will, too, after 3 years of marriage.
Well, mop off, will you?
You look like shit.
Right.
Shawn's parents are, like, really nice, aren't they?
Yeah, aren't they?
His father's really black though, you know.
I don't mean in attitude.
I mean in color.
He's not that black.
Lou, when I met him, I had to stop and make sure my eyes were open.
I think his mom being Mexican is the real surprise.
Yeah.
Like, wouldn't even have known she was Mexican unless he told us, right?
Me, neither.
Till I saw her tunneling under the front gate.
Hey, why can't a Mexican become a firefighter?
'Cause they can't tell the difference between Jose and hose "B."
All right, look, you assholes.
Cut it out, all right?
You're invited guests at a family function.
Grow up and act like it.
Hey, interesting little side note.
We're not at work, douche, and you're no longer acting lieutenant.
So suck it.
I don't do that, man.
I wouldn't want to encroach on your area of expertise.
Listen, if I hear one more Mexican joke, I swear to God, you guys are both in deep shit.
Ugh.
The closest bathroom's a mile away.
Yeah.
Where'd you come, by way of New Deli?
What the hell is up with that jacket, dude?
You like that, eh?
Yeah.
It looks like you just joined a boy band, Kato.
Ok.
Proves my theory that you absolutely know nothing about style.
This is the latest thing, my friend.
It is hip.
It is trendy.
Does it come with a gay Asian lover, or do you have to provide that yourself?
Just curious about that one.
Mike, is that jacket gay or what?
Don't answer that.
It's really gay.
Who's this guy?
That's our cue.
We got to go, Tom.
Nobody's going anywhere, OK?
Daddy, we discussed this already.
Not to my satisfaction, OK?
I mean, I'm here, I'm ready, I'm willing, and I'm able.
I would like to know why I can't walk my own daughter down the aisle at her wedding.
Because Uncle Teddy is walking me down the aisle.
Come on, guys.
We got to go.
Katy, you and--what's your name again, kid?
Jose.
Christ.
A black kid with a Mexican name.
You're a one-man crime spree waiting to happen.
What'd you say, pendejo?
You can knife me later.
Let's go.
Come on.
Daddy, go sit down.
Colleen has made her choice.
Please respect it.
Ok, listen to me, all right?
I have had nothing to drink.
Today, all I've had is coffee, an ocean of coffee, all right?
I went to 3 meetings this week.
Why?
Give me one reason why.
You don't have-- Oh, my God.
It's because we're all afraid that you're not going to make it to the altar, OK?
What?
Just go sit down.
Do your family a favor and let your ass do the talking instead of your mouth.
All right?
Let's go.
What is she talking about?
Honey, the pressure.
There was a lawn full of people out there staring at you.
I know.
The heat.
Your daughter on your arm.
The fact that she's finally leaving.
The whole 9 yards.
We're all afraid that you might pass out.
We got to go.
You nearly fainted at her junior prom.
Listen, it was 110 degrees out, and her date looked like John Gotti Jr.
I wasn't about to pass out.
I was about to have an aneurysm, OK?
You passed out and cut your head on the counter when Katy sliced her fingertips open with a steak knife.
I think you lost more blood than she did.
Ok.
Do I need to remind you I tripped over the Malibu Barbie, OK?
Mom said you passed out in the delivery room the day I was born.
I was shitfaced.
And-- I'm not going to drink today.
I'm not going to drink.
I'm not going to faint.
Ok, Tommy, do what's best for your family right now, please, and go sit down and let Colleen walk down that aisle without an incident.
Oh.
Now you sound like a cop.
I am.
Ok, you never put your family first.
You didn't take that desk job, and you didn't take a nice, safe training job like I asked.
And now, you are not respecting your daughter's wishes to get down that aisle without any drama.
Going to ruin the flowers.
I have $300 right here that says I will make it down the altar.
Come on.
Let's go.
You want to wager?
Let's wager.
Let's go, Rickshaw.
D'Brickshaw.
Call me whatever you want.
Honestly, Tom.
I'm appalled.
Daddy, go sit down.
Oh.
She's beautiful.
Holy shit.
Just remember, shit for brains, you fall, I ain't catching you.
The only way I'm going down is if you shoot me again, asshole.
Ok, dad?
Yeah.
Good.
You OK?
Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks.
You sure you won't been drinking?
Not a drop.
I love you, daddy.
Mwah.
I love you, too, honey.
You OK?
Yeah.
Great.
Oh.
I'm--good.
Good.
Ahh.
Hey, you made the bet.
Thank you.
Well.
What better way to start out a Gavin family wedding than with a well-won wad of cash?
Dearly beloved.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com āŖ On another day, come on, come on, with these ropes I tie, can we do no wrong?
Now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, with my teeth locked down, I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to stay?
Come on, come on was it right to leave?
Come on, come on will I ever learn?
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on āŖ Hey, what are you doing?
Tom, it's not what you think.
This isn't for me.
I was grabbing one for a friend.
Yeah, let me guess--a friend that lives at the bottom of your esophagus.
Nice try, asshole.
Hey, honey.
This is--tell her this-- It never ends, does it?
All right.
Emergency family meeting.
Let's go.
Everybody.
Go.
Go.
All right.
Listen.
We're surrounded by booze, which means we're also surrounded by temptation.
But nobody panic, 'cause I got a plan-- What's going on?
Hey.
Hey.
You got a knife on you?
No.
Well, I do.
So don't try anything.
Unh!
I heard someone called a family meeting.
It's Gavin only family.
What?
It's booze-related, kid.
You don't want to get involved.
Hey, if it's booze-related, you can count my ass in.
Now, here's how I think we should get it done.
First, we hit the champagne fountain.
Get a little buzz going.
Then, we make our way over to the vodka luge, hit that nasty bitch hard.
Talking Ike Turner hard.
Then, we get busy on the Hennessy.
I don't think they're serving Hennessy.
They're not, but I got a couple of cases out in the car.
BYOC, baby.
I see.
Cognac.
Tell you what.
You get started.
We'll catch up with you later, all right?
Got it, fam.
Bye.
Bye.
We really going to catch up with him later, as in drinking?
No, you moron.
What's wrong with you?
I think we should drink today.
Matter of fact, I think we should all get a free pass this one day only.
A one-day pass.
Yeah.
You know what?
That's not a bad idea.
Yeah.
This is a joyous family occasion.
I mean, face it.
How many more of these are we going to have?
From here on in, it's probably divorce, rehab, cancer, mostly of the balls.
All right.
No one is drinking, not even me, all right?
Thank you.
Champagne?
Beat it, sister.
Mmm.
New rule.
Champagne doesn't count.
Champagne it is, then.
No.
I meant for me.
I could drink a shitload of champagne.
Champagne's kid stuff.
It's like wine soda.
This could work.
All those in favor of champagne only.
Oh, are you guys nuts?
Come on, knock it off.
Champagne is booze.
Champagne is booze.
The only person who gets to drink is Sheila.
The only person who gets to drink is Sheila.
Knock it off, Tommy.
I was just reinforcing your rule, honey.
One day's worth of wine soda, Jan.
Come on.
Why not?
This from the man who threw a dining table out a window at Bill McPhee's wedding 3 years ago?
Yeah.
How about the armoire that you threw out the window at Kelly O'Brien's wedding the year before that?
It's wrong to have a specialty?
Besides, I was drinking whiskey both those times, not wine soda.
Hey, listen.
There is going to be no drinking at all, OK, because I did not pay for this whole shebang so that you guys could get shitfaced, start insulting people, sleeping with waitresses, and making drunken speeches.
Right, Janet?
Right.
That's all we need, a bunch of drunken Gavins getting into fistfights, breaking windows, and making Mexican jokes.
Why would we tell Mexican jokes?
Shawn's mother's a wetback.
Really?
Hey, what do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
What did Janet just say?
Jesus Christ.
I swear to God, I'll bounce each and every one of your asses right out of this place, all right?
No more drinking, no fighting, and no Mexican jokes, all right?
All right.
One Mexican joke.
Get it out of your system.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
I don't know, but it sure picks a shitload of lettuce.
Knock it off, God damn it.
It's not funny, all right?
Best behavior from here on in.
That means you.
You don't do the thing you always do at weddings.
What thing I always do at weddings?
Let me put it to you this way, sweetheart.
Just catch the bouquet, not an STD.
Hey, can I help it if I get romantic at weddings?
There's just always something in the air.
That thing in the air is your legs.
Ok, that's not funny.
Ok, stop it.
Now, for one day only, we are not Gavins, OK?
You are nice, decent, civilized human beings.
Uh!
No booze, no wine soda.
Forks and knives, napkins in laps, and 2 feet on the floor at all times.
And if any one of you ruins my daughter's big day, your last breath on this earth will be through my 2 hands.
Yeah.
Hors d'oeuvres?
Yes, please.
Bring it in.
No booze on 3.
1, 2, 3.
No booze!
What's with the 3 amigos?
I don't know.
Black Shawn's parents paid for them.
See those outfits?
Ridiculous.
Excuse me, waiter?
Can I get some more champagne?
Sheila, it's me.
Oh.
Well, I'm sorry.
I just-- well, you're wearing the same thing as the waiters.
Don't be ridiculous.
This is a very expensive jacket.
It is?
Yes.
Hey, can I get you something, miss?
Yes.
I would like a champagne with a champagne back.
Sure.
What?
At least I got a reason.
Ahem.
Such a...
Just a-- great wedding...day.
Yeah.
It's very nice.
Yeah.
Yes.
You know, we love Colleen.
Yes, we do.
She's lovely.
Just lovely.
Thank you, Doreen.
Ah.
Ah?
Ah.
Dorena.
Dorena.
Right.
Yes.
Dorena.
Dorena.
Sorry.
That's a pretty name, Dorena.
Yeah.
So, Dorena, um, I understand that you're an octigan.
Mexipus.
From Mexico.
Yes, I'm Mexican.
That's nice.
We're assuming you like Shawn.
Oh, yes.
We didn't tell you that?
No, you didn't.
Oh.
We love Shawn.
Don't we, Tommy?
Huh?
Shawn.
Garrity.
Moron.
Their Shawn.
Black Shawn.
Your Shawn.
You know what?
The kid is just-- I don't even know what to say.
He's just-- Yeah.
When's the baby due?
What--they-- Oh, my God.
They didn't say-- Well, Colleen didn't-- No, no, no.
You.
Ohh.
That's right.
Yes.
Uh-- you scared us.
For a second there, I thought--wow.
Yeah.
About a week and a half.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Not that I mean, of course-- we would have been happy with you in our family.
Yes.
Well, someday soon, we'll all become grandparents.
Yes.
Yeah, we will.
We will.
And-- so Colleen and Shawn's kids.
What color you think they're going to be?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry.
Ken Shea.
I'm a friend of Tommy's.
He works with me.
He works with me.
What color, off the top of your head-- We're in the middle of a conversation here.
Well, I'm only bringing it up 'cause, you know, you mentioned it to me a couple of months ago.
I was just-- you were concerned about the color of your grandchildren?
No.
No.
No, no, no.
No.
No.
I was excited and curious, which is why I was talking to the guys at the firehouse, 'cause to me, Black Shawn always talked to me about the black rainbow, and I was like, "Wow, what color are these kids going to be?"
You know what I mean?
Black or purple or-- Why would they be purple?
Did I say purple?
Yeah.
You know why I said purple?
Because I was thinking of this color, which is lavender, which is the color of the president's lips, which--who I love.
Voted for him.
Love his--but that's-- again, who cares?
Black, white, Mexican, I don't--you know.
Mexican isn't really a color.
No, it's not.
It's not a color.
You know what it is?
I'll tell you what it is.
Well, I don't have to tell you, but it's an attitude.
It's an approach.
You know what I mean?
It's like, hey, I'm a mexipus, and I'm here, and I'm here to work 14, 16, 18, you know, uh-- you can't have a place like this.
You think this is an Irish guy's--no, it's, you know-- All this lawn and everything?
It's your people making, you know, everything.
Probably these flowers, I mean, you know, which are beautiful.
Which really-- It was nice meeting you two.
Uh, it's-- Hey, get a room!
Yeah.
Check 1, 2, 1, 2.
Ohh.
Isn't that lovely?
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to toast to our newlyweds.
I'd like to please welcome Shawn's best man, our older brother, D'Brickshaw.
Yeah!
Hey.
Kanye West.
Hey.
Thank you.
Thank you so much one and all.
And you are so welcome here.
I am Sheila, Colleen's auntie Sheila.
Oh, my God.
Doesn't she just look so beautiful and so gorgeous and so grown-up?
Yay!
Which makes the rest of us really, really old.
But what I really want to say, folks, is that I am so glad-- that I paid for the dress and for the party and for the whole thing today.
But nobody needs to know about that, OK, because it's very gauche.
Please don't ask me about it again.
Please, I beg of you.
I just have so many things that I want to say.
Oh.
I was married once, to the love of my life, James Keefe.
Oh, my God.
His name still sounds like music to me.
It really does.
Oh, God.
And we loved to go to weddings together.
We just did.
Because it reminded us of how we wanted to renew our vows at our 20th anniversary, which I celebrated last year alone.
But I do not want to let that plan go to waste or this whole great, fabulous day--these good feelings, right?
Don't want to let it go to waste.
So I've been thinking there are 2 people that mean so much to me.
They have recently recommitted to each other.
And they have decided to make one more crazy goddamn shot at it for the thousandth time.
So, Tommy, Janet-- Hey, you guys, I'm talking about you.
What do you say, huh?
Why don't you renew your vows right here, right now?
What do you say?
Ah.
Can I talk to you outside?
Oh, no.
You may--ow.
You OK?
You may not talk to me outside.
I'm more interested in what the 2 of you think.
What do you say?
Come on!
We want another wedding?
We want a wedding!
We want a wedding!
We want a wedding!
Please!
Whoo!
We want a wedding!
Whoo!
No, no, no.
Listen.
I appreciate the sentiment.
You know, it's obviously a very emotional day.
But it's not as if I haven't at some point, you know, actually thought about, you know, one day, Janet and I maybe, you know, renewing our vows.
But, you know, it's-- - You have?
Yeah, I have.
But today's Colleen's day, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And we appreciate the thought.
Really?
'Cause you know, I paid for this whole wedding, which I asked you not to talk about.
Uh-huh.
Well-- well, the kids, right?
Just-- why don't we keep it-- Don't touch this microphone.
Mom?
Dad?
Yes?
Hey!
Oh.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Oh.
Um...
this has been probably the most perfect day of my life so far, and the only thing that can make it more perfect, and the greatest wedding gift that you guys could give us and me and Katie would be if you guys renewed your wedding vows.
Please.
Well, honey, you know what?
It's not just about you today.
I know it's your day, but it's also--it's Purple Shawn's-- Shawn-- I'm cool with it.
Yeah.
I'm-- let's go.
We don't have a priest, so-- Uncle Mickey's here.
We don't have a real-- problem.
We're going to have a real problem, because isn't there a law against doing more than one marriage-- No, no.
I'm good with it.
Daddy?
Yeah?
Please?
It would make me so happy.
Yeah.
Ok.
Yeah.
Why not?
Shh.
Shh.
And Tommy's vows for Janet.
I, Janet Gavin...
I, Janet Gavin...
Do hereby promise...
Do hereby promise...
To do everything my husband says sexually.
Oh, no, no.
No.
No, that's an "x."
No, that's an "r."
It's an "x."
He has bad handwriting. "
Seriously."
It says se-- seriously. "
Seriously, sweetheart.
I tried to write nice vows, only they came out sappy and a little gay.
So what I'm going to go do instead is beg you to marry me again, because I love you, and I've always loved you, and you are the hottest woman I have ever known, especially in that dress.
So, please, please, marry me again."
Aww.
All right, Tommy.
Pretty good.
And Janet's vows to Tommy.
Ahem.
I, Tommy Gavin...
I, Tommy Gavin...
Promise to love and protect...
Promise to love and protect...
Honor and obey...
Honor and obey...
And never, ever, ever, ever...
and never, ever...ever.
You moused off an ever.
Oh.
I kind of--ever.
Do any of the insane things I've done in the past.
Won't do any of the things I did in the past.
Insane things I've done in the past.
I won't do any of the insane things I've done in the past.
Including drinking...
I will not drink.
Smoking.
I haven't had a cigarette-- Smoking.
Smoking.
I won't smoke.
Or having extramarital affairs, be they with women inside or outside the family.
It's me he's talking about.
Me.
Ok.
Shh.
So, by the power vested in me by the state of New York...
Um, actually...
there's more on the other side.
Oh.
Oh.
There's more.
There's more.
I also make a solemn promise to...
I also make a solemn promise to...
What?
Retire from active duty...
What?
And take a desk job downtown, a training job, or any other job within the department that will keep me out of harm's way for the sake of my family.
Honey-- that's the way--just-- Honey...
that's the vows.
And so-- I'm not--I can't do them.
Just-- I warned you.
Honey.
Honey.
Janet.
Honey.
Janet!
I'm going to start drinking and become a prostitute.
Honey.
I'll do it.
You will?
Yes.
Honey.
Yes?
Yes?
Hey!
Hey!
If anybody here who knows why these 2 people shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony, let them speak now or ever hold their-- You know what?
Let's just skip that part.
I now re-pronounce you man and wife.
All right!
All right!
Go up there!
Hey.
Hey, pal.
The head's around the corner.
No, listen.
Hey.
You seen Emily?
No.
Ok.
I need your advice.
I need you to be the voice of reason for me right now.
Me?
Yeah, I know.
I'm doomed.
Here's the thing.
You know, at at a wedding like this when everybody's all happy and lovey and feeling all good, and you start thinking about your own life and all that shit?
That's what I'm doing.
And here's what I think.
I'm going to ask Emily to marry me.
Huh?
Good idea?
Bad idea?
Dude, she stinks.
Whoa.
Hey.
Only after sex, OK?
And to be honest with you, I'm starting to not smell it.
I mean, of course I smell it.
It's like a trash dump in a third world nation.
But that's not the point.
The point is, I feel like it's a sign or something that I'm doing something right, you know?
It's weird.
I mean, I can meet some other chick right now and bang the hell out of her, and afterwards, if she doesn't smell like a...
Like a toxic waste facility, I'd think I was doing something wrong, OK?
This thing, man.
It's not just an eye-watering, nasty, horrific, soul-sucking fart anymore.
You know?
It's-- it's the smell of love, man.
Love.
Sean, listen.
Take my advice.
You know, you got to sleep on this.
I mean, if you marry Emily, and you guys have kids, what if they're farters, too?
Then you'll be stuck with, like, a really stinky family forever.
So you're saying...
don't do it.
Don't do it.
Ok.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to do it.
Thanks, man.
Good talk.
You're always there for me.
Ahh.
Ooh.
No one is ever going to want me.
No one is ever going to touch me.
No one is ever going to marry me ever again.
You leave this bed, I swear to Christ, I will cut your balls off and sew them to a dog.
Sit down.
Will you please hold me?
I don't think that's such a good idea-- Will you just hold me?
I'm hurting!
Have some kindness!
This is not the way that things were supposed to end up.
I'm a bridesmaid at somebody else's wedding, someone who is young enough to be my daughter.
Ah.
Honey.
This-- Not what it looks like.
Hello.
Well, it looks like you and Sheila on a bed with your pants undone.
This--this is--this is dinner-related.
This is not cock-related.
I mean, could we be having sex?
She's crying.
Don't answer that.
Just--Tommy, get out of here.
Oh, Sheila, honey.
It's OK.
Let it out, honey.
I--I was supposed to be married by now.
I don't know.
Maybe to him.
Maybe not to him.
Honey.
Honey, he was never going to marry you.
You know that.
He was only interested in himself.
Yes, you had the grief connection.
Yes, there was a mutual bond.
But as always, it was only about him.
He's an ass.
But he told me that he loved me.
He loved the sex, you know?
And I guarantee you that if I drop dead, he'll be headed to your house a half an hour after they stick me in the ground, wanting a hand job.
Right, Tommy?
That's a little--half an hour?
I mean, it's at least 40 minutes from our house to her house.
I was just trying to throw a little--ahem--levity into the...
No.
Go get some water.
Ok.
But you know what?
Let me just say something, OK?
You know, it wasn't just about the sex, you know.
There was a real connection between us.
And you know, it was about healing and about grief, you know.
The two of us.
And it-- and it was...
Would you like ice in the water?
Put some whiskey in it.
Don't you think you've had enough?
I said put some whiskey in it!
Oh, gee, Gav.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no.
Honey, no.
You don't have anything to be sorry about.
Look, you gave us this beautiful day.
Yeah, and Colleen is glowing thanks to you.
Ok?
And then, the renewing the vow thing was a little insane, but it worked out perfectly.
You are a good friend.
No, I'm not.
I'm not a good friend.
I'm not.
Look, we're close, and we can laugh about stuff, and I can help you with your kids, and you can help me with my kid.
But honestly...
I can't truly be around you for too long for any given amount of time.
Why not?
Because, Janet.
Everything I wanted, you got.
Oh.
Your husband went away.
And he came back.
Mine, not so much.
It's never going to happen.
So what am I left with here?
Let's see.
I've got a lot of money.
I've got Damian in a wheelchair.
And, um.
Oh, yeah.
An empty bed.
You really need to get laid.
I know!
Mickey's downstairs.
Ugh!
Come on.
He's a good man.
He's a Gavin.
What are the odds?
Don't you think he deserves another chance?
Well, he is totally hot.
But I would only be using him for sex.
Which actually works for me.
Go, go, go, go!
Whoo-hoo!
Go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go!
Go!
Go!
Yeah!
Hey.
Hey.
Beautiful day.
Yep.
Very, very touching.
What would you know about...touching?
Hmm?
I know a little.
Oh, that's good.
I'm going to get a slice.
Hey.
Mmm.
Ahem.
I'm sorry.
I was, uh, hearing her confession.
Yeah, 'cause I've been very bad.
Very bad.
Mmm.
Ahh.
You know, Mike, you got to admit.
Gavins sure do throw a freaky-ass wedding, huh?
No shit, huh?
Good times.
Yo, B., what is that smell?
Holy shit.
You want to get married?
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
You do?
Yes!
Yes.
We're going to get married?
Whoo!
I caught it!
Aah!
I paid for this bouquet, bitches!
Whoo!
What, what!
Hey!
What, what!
Viva la Gavins, baby!
This your building?
No.
I watch the bus depot.
Anybody inside?
Eh.
Chinks run the sweatshop on the ground floor, but they usually clear out about 9:00.
Pretty sure the rest of the building's off-limits.
Squatters?
Cops catch kids sometimes up top drinking beer, tagging the walls.
Place is a goddamn eyesore.
You should let it burn, you ask me.
Yeah.
We didn't.
Go on.
Get out of here.
All right.
Look, the smoke is real heavy on 3, so start there and work your way up.
I'm going to have second alarm clear the bottom floors.
Remember, fellas.
Big buildings, big problems.
Jesus Christ.
It'd be nice if they let us take the elevator one goddamn time, wouldn't it?
Yep.
Ah.
You acting deputy tonight?
No, I do this in my spare time.
Nice.
Have your men clear out the lower floors.
All over it.
Anything up top?
We just sent them up.
Could just be some kids messing around.
We don't know yet.
Big buildings, big problems.
You don't have to tell me, sir.
Yo!
Yo!
Ahh.
Yeah, chief, tell 99 we got some shit on fire up here.
Nothing too hot.
Copy.
Yeah.
Not nearly as hot as the honeymoon suite the other night.
Or hot as it's going to get on my honeymoon with my baby girl when I go bang, bang, bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Cock is a great place to visit, 'cause Mexico, you know-- Oh, yeah.
It's crowded.
Mexico's kind of crowded.
Hey, guys.
We got some empty beer cans over here.
I think they're imported.
Wait.
Hold up.
Hold up, guys.
You smell that?
Yeah.
Smells like diesel fuel.
Yeah, it sure does.
Hey, what's going on up here?
Yo, fellas.
We got ourselves a real problem.
Oh, shit.
Christ.
Oh, shit.
Lou!
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Lou!
Lou!
I'm calling in the third alarm.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Lou, what's your position?
We're on 3.
We're in the middle of an arson, chief.
There's diesel fuel everywhere.
Give me a recall.
Yeah.
Everyone's accounted for.
Any visible exits?
Back the way we came.
Get your asses there now.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Back the way we came.
Here we go.
Go.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
All right.
Stay together.
Back, guys.
Back.
Back.
Stay together.
Go.
Ugh.
Everybody over here.
This way.
Stand over here.
Got it.
Oh!
Aah.
Go.
Go.
Come on.
Come on.
Elevator.
Elevator.
Hit the elevator.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Go.
Go.
Ugh.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on.
Get in, guys.
Get in.
Get in!
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
All right.
All right.
Going.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's take her down.
Oh, shit!
Tommy!
I'm trying!
Down, down, down!
Shit.
Damn it.
Goddamn cables are burnt.
I got to go up.
I got to go up.
I got it.
I got it.
Ugh.
Come on.
Son of a bitch.
Up.
Up.
Son of a bitch.
Come on.
God damn it.
Let's go!
All right.
All right.
All right.
Let's go.
Here we go.
Get your heli up.
Come on.
All right.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
Get the grate up!
Hurry it up!
Hurry it up!
Come on, boys.
Come on.
Speed it up.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Go, go.
God damn it.
Oh!
Chief, we're on the fourth floor now.
What the hell are they going up for?
All right, Lou, look.
There's a window at exposure 2.
Get over there now, and I'll send Nielsy around with a ladder.
Listen, I got towers up.
I want you on the curb so we can soak this bitch.
Stretch that out!
Oh.
Guys.
Take your tanks off.
Save your air.
Save your air, Mikey.
Get the tank off.
Jesus Christ.
Where the hell's Niels with that ladder?
Oh.
Yeah!
Free at last, baby!
Free at last.
Nielsy!
Hey, guys.
Need a ride.
Thank God.
All right.
Shush.
Hush.
Help!
Please help us!
God damn it.
You hear that?
Yeah.
It's those kids.
All right.
Let's go.
Come on.
Yeah, like we're not going to come with you.
All right.
Chief, listen.
We hear the kids now.
We're heading in their direction.
All right, look, Lou.
You don't have a lot of air left.
You get to that window, and you get back immediately.
And if you can't make it, get over to the bulkhead stairs.
You can't send them to the bulkhead.
It's like a furnace up there.
I got to get some water on these lower floors so you don't get cooked.
You be careful up there.
There's going to be fire pushing all over the goddamn place.
We don't have a choice, Sid.
They're not going to leave those kids.
Help us!
You got to help us!
We're locked in!
All right.
Sit tight.
We're coming for you.
Go, go, go!
You got to help me.
Sit down.
We're coming.
You got to get me out of here.
Calm down.
Nice and easy now.
Nice and easy.
Deep breath.
Deep breath.
Yeah.
Deep breath.
You got to get me out of here.
Ok.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Deep breath.
Relax.
Come on.
Let's go!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on, let's go!
All right, chief.
Listen, we lost our safety line, and our tanks are going dry.
There's no way we're making it back to that window.
We're headed for the bulkhead.
Now, guys.
Go, go.
Let's go.
Keep going.
Straight up.
Go, go, go.
Keep going.
Up, up, up, up.
Go.
Let's go.
I'm out of air!
I'm out.
Ugh.
Chief, we reached the bulkhead with the grabs.
Where's the ladder?
Ladder's arriving now.
All right.
We'll get that goddamn door open.
I've been sitting on a power tank down here.
Go, guys, go, go!
Come on!
Shit!
The goddamn door won't shut!
What do you got?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.
We just go back.
We're gonna be okay.
Breath slow, breath slow.
Let's go, go, go.
Son of a bitch.
Oh, shit.
Urgent, urgent, the *** is bricked over.
There's no means for regress.
62 has no means of regress, okay?
Nielsy, I want you to get off that roof now.
Repeat.
The structure is compromised, it is unstable.
Get off that goddamn roof now.
We're gonna be okay, we're gonna be alright.
Just breath easy, breath easy.
Shawn get back to work, men.
Come on, asshole.
We don't quit.
We're gonna be okay.
We're gonna be alright, we're gonna be alright.
What do you wanna do, Lou?
Go, Tom, go.
Sure?
We'll be fine.
Trust me.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
Will you marry me?
Yes.
I want to pay.
I want to pay for the whole thing, OK?
OK.
Tommy, I do not want her to pay for our daughter's wedding.
We're taking Sheila's money, and Colleen's going to have the greatest day in the history of all the days that she's ever going to have.
Ok.
Here's what I have to say to you.
I think you're awesome, and I have such a fantastic time with you.
I think you're awesome, too.
But here's the thing.
After we, you know, have sex-- amazing sex, by the way.
The best sex I've ever had in my entire life-- it's--there's this-- It's the smell, right?
The penetration gives me gas.
Our friend Tommy has been writing lately.
Letters.
And it is only in the event of his death we can actually read them.
I read mine already.
I went to Sheila's, and I gave her the letter because I knew that she was totally pissed at you, all right?
And look, it turned everything around.
And then, I knew that Janet wanted to kill you, so I went over there and I gave her the letter.
I want to do something that you can't, Tom, which is to express your real feelings for people while you're still alive.
Oh.
This is my day, OK?
The most important day in my life so far.
So please, no yelling, no drinking, no finger pointing, no fist punching, and I forgot.
Uncle Teddy's walking me down the aisle now.
What?
Relax, will you?
It will all be over in a couple of hours.
Those your folks?
Yep.
Hmm.
I didn't know your mom was Puerto Rican.
Mexican.
Oh.
You didn't think that was information that you should have shared with the in-laws before the big day?
Not when the in-laws are a bunch of racist, drunk-ass micks.
We're not racist, OK?
We're a little bit narrow-minded and intolerant.
Hey, don't forget.
My mother thinks you're a real priest.
Well, I was, once.
What forced you out?
The booze?
Well, a little bit of that, you know.
Mostly the scandals, the cover-ups, the dogma.
You missed the pussy, didn't you?
Oh, God, yeah.
And you will, too, after 3 years of marriage.
Well, mop off, will you?
You look like shit.
Right.
Shawn's parents are, like, really nice, aren't they?
Yeah, aren't they?
His father's really black though, you know.
I don't mean in attitude.
I mean in color.
He's not that black.
Lou, when I met him, I had to stop and make sure my eyes were open.
I think his mom being Mexican is the real surprise.
Yeah.
Like, wouldn't even have known she was Mexican unless he told us, right?
Me, neither.
Till I saw her tunneling under the front gate.
Hey, why can't a Mexican become a firefighter?
'Cause they can't tell the difference between Jose and hose "B."
All right, look, you assholes.
Cut it out, all right?
You're invited guests at a family function.
Grow up and act like it.
Hey, interesting little side note.
We're not at work, douche, and you're no longer acting lieutenant.
So suck it.
I don't do that, man.
I wouldn't want to encroach on your area of expertise.
Listen, if I hear one more Mexican joke, I swear to God, you guys are both in deep shit.
Ugh.
The closest bathroom's a mile away.
Yeah.
Where'd you come, by way of New Deli?
What the hell is up with that jacket, dude?
You like that, eh?
Yeah.
It looks like you just joined a boy band, Kato.
Ok.
Proves my theory that you absolutely know nothing about style.
This is the latest thing, my friend.
It is hip.
It is trendy.
Does it come with a gay Asian lover, or do you have to provide that yourself?
Just curious about that one.
Mike, is that jacket gay or what?
Don't answer that.
It's really gay.
Who's this guy?
That's our cue.
We got to go, Tom.
Nobody's going anywhere, OK?
Daddy, we discussed this already.
Not to my satisfaction, OK?
I mean, I'm here, I'm ready, I'm willing, and I'm able.
I would like to know why I can't walk my own daughter down the aisle at her wedding.
Because Uncle Teddy is walking me down the aisle.
Come on, guys.
We got to go.
Katy, you and--what's your name again, kid?
Jose.
Christ.
A black kid with a Mexican name.
You're a one-man crime spree waiting to happen.
What'd you say, pendejo?
You can knife me later.
Let's go.
Come on.
Daddy, go sit down.
Colleen has made her choice.
Please respect it.
Ok, listen to me, all right?
I have had nothing to drink.
Today, all I've had is coffee, an ocean of coffee, all right?
I went to 3 meetings this week.
Why?
Give me one reason why.
You don't have-- Oh, my God.
It's because we're all afraid that you're not going to make it to the altar, OK?
What?
Just go sit down.
Do your family a favor and let your ass do the talking instead of your mouth.
All right?
Let's go.
What is she talking about?
Honey, the pressure.
There was a lawn full of people out there staring at you.
I know.
The heat.
Your daughter on your arm.
The fact that she's finally leaving.
The whole 9 yards.
We're all afraid that you might pass out.
We got to go.
You nearly fainted at her junior prom.
Listen, it was 110 degrees out, and her date looked like John Gotti Jr.
I wasn't about to pass out.
I was about to have an aneurysm, OK?
You passed out and cut your head on the counter when Katy sliced her fingertips open with a steak knife.
I think you lost more blood than she did.
Ok.
Do I need to remind you I tripped over the Malibu Barbie, OK?
Mom said you passed out in the delivery room the day I was born.
I was shitfaced.
And-- I'm not going to drink today.
I'm not going to drink.
I'm not going to faint.
Ok, Tommy, do what's best for your family right now, please, and go sit down and let Colleen walk down that aisle without an incident.
Oh.
Now you sound like a cop.
I am.
Ok, you never put your family first.
You didn't take that desk job, and you didn't take a nice, safe training job like I asked.
And now, you are not respecting your daughter's wishes to get down that aisle without any drama.
Going to ruin the flowers.
I have $300 right here that says I will make it down the altar.
Come on.
Let's go.
You want to wager?
Let's wager.
Let's go, Rickshaw.
D'Brickshaw.
Call me whatever you want.
Honestly, Tom.
I'm appalled.
Daddy, go sit down.
Oh.
She's beautiful.
Holy shit.
Just remember, shit for brains, you fall, I ain't catching you.
The only way I'm going down is if you shoot me again, asshole.
Ok, dad?
Yeah.
Good.
You OK?
Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks.
You sure you won't been drinking?
Not a drop.
I love you, daddy.
Mwah.
I love you, too, honey.
You OK?
Yeah.
Great.
Oh.
I'm--good.
Good.
Ahh.
Hey, you made the bet.
Thank you.
Well.
What better way to start out a Gavin family wedding than with a well-won wad of cash?
Dearly beloved.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com āŖ On another day, come on, come on, with these ropes I tie, can we do no wrong?
Now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, with my teeth locked down, I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to stay?
Come on, come on was it right to leave?
Come on, come on will I ever learn?
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on āŖ Hey, what are you doing?
Tom, it's not what you think.
This isn't for me.
I was grabbing one for a friend.
Yeah, let me guess--a friend that lives at the bottom of your esophagus.
Nice try, asshole.
Hey, honey.
This is--tell her this-- It never ends, does it?
All right.
Emergency family meeting.
Let's go.
Everybody.
Go.
Go.
All right.
Listen.
We're surrounded by booze, which means we're also surrounded by temptation.
But nobody panic, 'cause I got a plan-- What's going on?
Hey.
Hey.
You got a knife on you?
No.
Well, I do.
So don't try anything.
Unh!
I heard someone called a family meeting.
It's Gavin only family.
What?
It's booze-related, kid.
You don't want to get involved.
Hey, if it's booze-related, you can count my ass in.
Now, here's how I think we should get it done.
First, we hit the champagne fountain.
Get a little buzz going.
Then, we make our way over to the vodka luge, hit that nasty bitch hard.
Talking Ike Turner hard.
Then, we get busy on the Hennessy.
I don't think they're serving Hennessy.
They're not, but I got a couple of cases out in the car.
BYOC, baby.
I see.
Cognac.
Tell you what.
You get started.
We'll catch up with you later, all right?
Got it, fam.
Bye.
Bye.
We really going to catch up with him later, as in drinking?
No, you moron.
What's wrong with you?
I think we should drink today.
Matter of fact, I think we should all get a free pass this one day only.
A one-day pass.
Yeah.
You know what?
That's not a bad idea.
Yeah.
This is a joyous family occasion.
I mean, face it.
How many more of these are we going to have?
From here on in, it's probably divorce, rehab, cancer, mostly of the balls.
All right.
No one is drinking, not even me, all right?
Thank you.
Champagne?
Beat it, sister.
Mmm.
New rule.
Champagne doesn't count.
Champagne it is, then.
No.
I meant for me.
I could drink a shitload of champagne.
Champagne's kid stuff.
It's like wine soda.
This could work.
All those in favor of champagne only.
Oh, are you guys nuts?
Come on, knock it off.
Champagne is booze.
Champagne is booze.
The only person who gets to drink is Sheila.
The only person who gets to drink is Sheila.
Knock it off, Tommy.
I was just reinforcing your rule, honey.
One day's worth of wine soda, Jan.
Come on.
Why not?
This from the man who threw a dining table out a window at Bill McPhee's wedding 3 years ago?
Yeah.
How about the armoire that you threw out the window at Kelly O'Brien's wedding the year before that?
It's wrong to have a specialty?
Besides, I was drinking whiskey both those times, not wine soda.
Hey, listen.
There is going to be no drinking at all, OK, because I did not pay for this whole shebang so that you guys could get shitfaced, start insulting people, sleeping with waitresses, and making drunken speeches.
Right, Janet?
Right.
That's all we need, a bunch of drunken Gavins getting into fistfights, breaking windows, and making Mexican jokes.
Why would we tell Mexican jokes?
Shawn's mother's a wetback.
Really?
Hey, what do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
What did Janet just say?
Jesus Christ.
I swear to God, I'll bounce each and every one of your asses right out of this place, all right?
No more drinking, no fighting, and no Mexican jokes, all right?
All right.
One Mexican joke.
Get it out of your system.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
I don't know, but it sure picks a shitload of lettuce.
Knock it off, God damn it.
It's not funny, all right?
Best behavior from here on in.
That means you.
You don't do the thing you always do at weddings.
What thing I always do at weddings?
Let me put it to you this way, sweetheart.
Just catch the bouquet, not an STD.
Hey, can I help it if I get romantic at weddings?
There's just always something in the air.
That thing in the air is your legs.
Ok, that's not funny.
Ok, stop it.
Now, for one day only, we are not Gavins, OK?
You are nice, decent, civilized human beings.
Uh!
No booze, no wine soda.
Forks and knives, napkins in laps, and 2 feet on the floor at all times.
And if any one of you ruins my daughter's big day, your last breath on this earth will be through my 2 hands.
Yeah.
Hors d'oeuvres?
Yes, please.
Bring it in.
No booze on 3.
1, 2, 3.
No booze!
What's with the 3 amigos?
I don't know.
Black Shawn's parents paid for them.
See those outfits?
Ridiculous.
Excuse me, waiter?
Can I get some more champagne?
Sheila, it's me.
Oh.
Well, I'm sorry.
I just-- well, you're wearing the same thing as the waiters.
Don't be ridiculous.
This is a very expensive jacket.
It is?
Yes.
Hey, can I get you something, miss?
Yes.
I would like a champagne with a champagne back.
Sure.
What?
At least I got a reason.
Ahem.
Such a...
Just a-- great wedding...day.
Yeah.
It's very nice.
Yeah.
Yes.
You know, we love Colleen.
Yes, we do.
She's lovely.
Just lovely.
Thank you, Doreen.
Ah.
Ah?
Ah.
Dorena.
Dorena.
Right.
Yes.
Dorena.
Dorena.
Sorry.
That's a pretty name, Dorena.
Yeah.
So, Dorena, um, I understand that you're an octigan.
Mexipus.
From Mexico.
Yes, I'm Mexican.
That's nice.
We're assuming you like Shawn.
Oh, yes.
We didn't tell you that?
No, you didn't.
Oh.
We love Shawn.
Don't we, Tommy?
Huh?
Shawn.
Garrity.
Moron.
Their Shawn.
Black Shawn.
Your Shawn.
You know what?
The kid is just-- I don't even know what to say.
He's just-- Yeah.
When's the baby due?
What--they-- Oh, my God.
They didn't say-- Well, Colleen didn't-- No, no, no.
You.
Ohh.
That's right.
Yes.
Uh-- you scared us.
For a second there, I thought--wow.
Yeah.
About a week and a half.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Not that I mean, of course-- we would have been happy with you in our family.
Yes.
Well, someday soon, we'll all become grandparents.
Yes.
Yeah, we will.
We will.
And-- so Colleen and Shawn's kids.
What color you think they're going to be?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry.
Ken Shea.
I'm a friend of Tommy's.
He works with me.
He works with me.
What color, off the top of your head-- We're in the middle of a conversation here.
Well, I'm only bringing it up 'cause, you know, you mentioned it to me a couple of months ago.
I was just-- you were concerned about the color of your grandchildren?
No.
No.
No, no, no.
No.
No.
I was excited and curious, which is why I was talking to the guys at the firehouse, 'cause to me, Black Shawn always talked to me about the black rainbow, and I was like, "Wow, what color are these kids going to be?"
You know what I mean?
Black or purple or-- Why would they be purple?
Did I say purple?
Yeah.
You know why I said purple?
Because I was thinking of this color, which is lavender, which is the color of the president's lips, which--who I love.
Voted for him.
Love his--but that's-- again, who cares?
Black, white, Mexican, I don't--you know.
Mexican isn't really a color.
No, it's not.
It's not a color.
You know what it is?
I'll tell you what it is.
Well, I don't have to tell you, but it's an attitude.
It's an approach.
You know what I mean?
It's like, hey, I'm a mexipus, and I'm here, and I'm here to work 14, 16, 18, you know, uh-- you can't have a place like this.
You think this is an Irish guy's--no, it's, you know-- All this lawn and everything?
It's your people making, you know, everything.
Probably these flowers, I mean, you know, which are beautiful.
Which really-- It was nice meeting you two.
Uh, it's-- Hey, get a room!
Yeah.
Check 1, 2, 1, 2.
Ohh.
Isn't that lovely?
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to toast to our newlyweds.
I'd like to please welcome Shawn's best man, our older brother, D'Brickshaw.
Yeah!
Hey.
Kanye West.
Hey.
Thank you.
Thank you so much one and all.
And you are so welcome here.
I am Sheila, Colleen's auntie Sheila.
Oh, my God.
Doesn't she just look so beautiful and so gorgeous and so grown-up?
Yay!
Which makes the rest of us really, really old.
But what I really want to say, folks, is that I am so glad-- that I paid for the dress and for the party and for the whole thing today.
But nobody needs to know about that, OK, because it's very gauche.
Please don't ask me about it again.
Please, I beg of you.
I just have so many things that I want to say.
Oh.
I was married once, to the love of my life, James Keefe.
Oh, my God.
His name still sounds like music to me.
It really does.
Oh, God.
And we loved to go to weddings together.
We just did.
Because it reminded us of how we wanted to renew our vows at our 20th anniversary, which I celebrated last year alone.
But I do not want to let that plan go to waste or this whole great, fabulous day--these good feelings, right?
Don't want to let it go to waste.
So I've been thinking there are 2 people that mean so much to me.
They have recently recommitted to each other.
And they have decided to make one more crazy goddamn shot at it for the thousandth time.
So, Tommy, Janet-- Hey, you guys, I'm talking about you.
What do you say, huh?
Why don't you renew your vows right here, right now?
What do you say?
Ah.
Can I talk to you outside?
Oh, no.
You may--ow.
You OK?
You may not talk to me outside.
I'm more interested in what the 2 of you think.
What do you say?
Come on!
We want another wedding?
We want a wedding!
We want a wedding!
We want a wedding!
Please!
Whoo!
We want a wedding!
Whoo!
No, no, no.
Listen.
I appreciate the sentiment.
You know, it's obviously a very emotional day.
But it's not as if I haven't at some point, you know, actually thought about, you know, one day, Janet and I maybe, you know, renewing our vows.
But, you know, it's-- - You have?
Yeah, I have.
But today's Colleen's day, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And we appreciate the thought.
Really?
'Cause you know, I paid for this whole wedding, which I asked you not to talk about.
Uh-huh.
Well-- well, the kids, right?
Just-- why don't we keep it-- Don't touch this microphone.
Mom?
Dad?
Yes?
Hey!
Oh.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Oh.
Um...
this has been probably the most perfect day of my life so far, and the only thing that can make it more perfect, and the greatest wedding gift that you guys could give us and me and Katie would be if you guys renewed your wedding vows.
Please.
Well, honey, you know what?
It's not just about you today.
I know it's your day, but it's also--it's Purple Shawn's-- Shawn-- I'm cool with it.
Yeah.
I'm-- let's go.
We don't have a priest, so-- Uncle Mickey's here.
We don't have a real-- problem.
We're going to have a real problem, because isn't there a law against doing more than one marriage-- No, no.
I'm good with it.
Daddy?
Yeah?
Please?
It would make me so happy.
Yeah.
Ok.
Yeah.
Why not?
Shh.
Shh.
And Tommy's vows for Janet.
I, Janet Gavin...
I, Janet Gavin...
Do hereby promise...
Do hereby promise...
To do everything my husband says sexually.
Oh, no, no.
No.
No, that's an "x."
No, that's an "r."
It's an "x."
He has bad handwriting. "
Seriously."
It says se-- seriously. "
Seriously, sweetheart.
I tried to write nice vows, only they came out sappy and a little gay.
So what I'm going to go do instead is beg you to marry me again, because I love you, and I've always loved you, and you are the hottest woman I have ever known, especially in that dress.
So, please, please, marry me again."
Aww.
All right, Tommy.
Pretty good.
And Janet's vows to Tommy.
Ahem.
I, Tommy Gavin...
I, Tommy Gavin...
Promise to love and protect...
Promise to love and protect...
Honor and obey...
Honor and obey...
And never, ever, ever, ever...
and never, ever...ever.
You moused off an ever.
Oh.
I kind of--ever.
Do any of the insane things I've done in the past.
Won't do any of the things I did in the past.
Insane things I've done in the past.
I won't do any of the insane things I've done in the past.
Including drinking...
I will not drink.
Smoking.
I haven't had a cigarette-- Smoking.
Smoking.
I won't smoke.
Or having extramarital affairs, be they with women inside or outside the family.
It's me he's talking about.
Me.
Ok.
Shh.
So, by the power vested in me by the state of New York...
Um, actually...
there's more on the other side.
Oh.
Oh.
There's more.
There's more.
I also make a solemn promise to...
I also make a solemn promise to...
What?
Retire from active duty...
What?
And take a desk job downtown, a training job, or any other job within the department that will keep me out of harm's way for the sake of my family.
Honey-- that's the way--just-- Honey...
that's the vows.
And so-- I'm not--I can't do them.
Just-- I warned you.
Honey.
Honey.
Janet.
Honey.
Janet!
I'm going to start drinking and become a prostitute.
Honey.
I'll do it.
You will?
Yes.
Honey.
Yes?
Yes?
Hey!
Hey!
If anybody here who knows why these 2 people shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony, let them speak now or ever hold their-- You know what?
Let's just skip that part.
I now re-pronounce you man and wife.
All right!
All right!
Go up there!
Hey.
Hey, pal.
The head's around the corner.
No, listen.
Hey.
You seen Emily?
No.
Ok.
I need your advice.
I need you to be the voice of reason for me right now.
Me?
Yeah, I know.
I'm doomed.
Here's the thing.
You know, at at a wedding like this when everybody's all happy and lovey and feeling all good, and you start thinking about your own life and all that shit?
That's what I'm doing.
And here's what I think.
I'm going to ask Emily to marry me.
Huh?
Good idea?
Bad idea?
Dude, she stinks.
Whoa.
Hey.
Only after sex, OK?
And to be honest with you, I'm starting to not smell it.
I mean, of course I smell it.
It's like a trash dump in a third world nation.
But that's not the point.
The point is, I feel like it's a sign or something that I'm doing something right, you know?
It's weird.
I mean, I can meet some other chick right now and bang the hell out of her, and afterwards, if she doesn't smell like a...
Like a toxic waste facility, I'd think I was doing something wrong, OK?
This thing, man.
It's not just an eye-watering, nasty, horrific, soul-sucking fart anymore.
You know?
It's-- it's the smell of love, man.
Love.
Sean, listen.
Take my advice.
You know, you got to sleep on this.
I mean, if you marry Emily, and you guys have kids, what if they're farters, too?
Then you'll be stuck with, like, a really stinky family forever.
So you're saying...
don't do it.
Don't do it.
Ok.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to do it.
Thanks, man.
Good talk.
You're always there for me.
Ahh.
Ooh.
No one is ever going to want me.
No one is ever going to touch me.
No one is ever going to marry me ever again.
You leave this bed, I swear to Christ, I will cut your balls off and sew them to a dog.
Sit down.
Will you please hold me?
I don't think that's such a good idea-- Will you just hold me?
I'm hurting!
Have some kindness!
This is not the way that things were supposed to end up.
I'm a bridesmaid at somebody else's wedding, someone who is young enough to be my daughter.
Ah.
Honey.
This-- Not what it looks like.
Hello.
Well, it looks like you and Sheila on a bed with your pants undone.
This--this is--this is dinner-related.
This is not cock-related.
I mean, could we be having sex?
She's crying.
Don't answer that.
Just--Tommy, get out of here.
Oh, Sheila, honey.
It's OK.
Let it out, honey.
I--I was supposed to be married by now.
I don't know.
Maybe to him.
Maybe not to him.
Honey.
Honey, he was never going to marry you.
You know that.
He was only interested in himself.
Yes, you had the grief connection.
Yes, there was a mutual bond.
But as always, it was only about him.
He's an ass.
But he told me that he loved me.
He loved the sex, you know?
And I guarantee you that if I drop dead, he'll be headed to your house a half an hour after they stick me in the ground, wanting a hand job.
Right, Tommy?
That's a little--half an hour?
I mean, it's at least 40 minutes from our house to her house.
I was just trying to throw a little--ahem--levity into the...
No.
Go get some water.
Ok.
But you know what?
Let me just say something, OK?
You know, it wasn't just about the sex, you know.
There was a real connection between us.
And you know, it was about healing and about grief, you know.
The two of us.
And it-- and it was...
Would you like ice in the water?
Put some whiskey in it.
Don't you think you've had enough?
I said put some whiskey in it!
Oh, gee, Gav.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no.
Honey, no.
You don't have anything to be sorry about.
Look, you gave us this beautiful day.
Yeah, and Colleen is glowing thanks to you.
Ok?
And then, the renewing the vow thing was a little insane, but it worked out perfectly.
You are a good friend.
No, I'm not.
I'm not a good friend.
I'm not.
Look, we're close, and we can laugh about stuff, and I can help you with your kids, and you can help me with my kid.
But honestly...
I can't truly be around you for too long for any given amount of time.
Why not?
Because, Janet.
Everything I wanted, you got.
Oh.
Your husband went away.
And he came back.
Mine, not so much.
It's never going to happen.
So what am I left with here?
Let's see.
I've got a lot of money.
I've got Damian in a wheelchair.
And, um.
Oh, yeah.
An empty bed.
You really need to get laid.
I know!
Mickey's downstairs.
Ugh!
Come on.
He's a good man.
He's a Gavin.
What are the odds?
Don't you think he deserves another chance?
Well, he is totally hot.
But I would only be using him for sex.
Which actually works for me.
Go, go, go, go!
Whoo-hoo!
Go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go!
Go!
Go!
Yeah!
Hey.
Hey.
Beautiful day.
Yep.
Very, very touching.
What would you know about...touching?
Hmm?
I know a little.
Oh, that's good.
I'm going to get a slice.
Hey.
Mmm.
Ahem.
I'm sorry.
I was, uh, hearing her confession.
Yeah, 'cause I've been very bad.
Very bad.
Mmm.
Ahh.
You know, Mike, you got to admit.
Gavins sure do throw a freaky-ass wedding, huh?
No shit, huh?
Good times.
Yo, B., what is that smell?
Holy shit.
You want to get married?
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
You do?
Yes!
Yes.
We're going to get married?
Whoo!
I caught it!
Aah!
I paid for this bouquet, bitches!
Whoo!
What, what!
Hey!
What, what!
Viva la Gavins, baby!
This your building?
No.
I watch the bus depot.
Anybody inside?
Eh.
Chinks run the sweatshop on the ground floor, but they usually clear out about 9:00.
Pretty sure the rest of the building's off-limits.
Squatters?
Cops catch kids sometimes up top drinking beer, tagging the walls.
Place is a goddamn eyesore.
You should let it burn, you ask me.
Yeah.
We didn't.
Go on.
Get out of here.
All right.
Look, the smoke is real heavy on 3, so start there and work your way up.
I'm going to have second alarm clear the bottom floors.
Remember, fellas.
Big buildings, big problems.
Jesus Christ.
It'd be nice if they let us take the elevator one goddamn time, wouldn't it?
Yep.
Ah.
You acting deputy tonight?
No, I do this in my spare time.
Nice.
Have your men clear out the lower floors.
All over it.
Anything up top?
We just sent them up.
Could just be some kids messing around.
We don't know yet.
Big buildings, big problems.
You don't have to tell me, sir.
Yo!
Yo!
Ahh.
Yeah, chief, tell 99 we got some shit on fire up here.
Nothing too hot.
Copy.
Yeah.
Not nearly as hot as the honeymoon suite the other night.
Or hot as it's going to get on my honeymoon with my baby girl when I go bang, bang, bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Cock is a great place to visit, 'cause Mexico, you know-- Oh, yeah.
It's crowded.
Mexico's kind of crowded.
Hey, guys.
We got some empty beer cans over here.
I think they're imported.
Wait.
Hold up.
Hold up, guys.
You smell that?
Yeah.
Smells like diesel fuel.
Yeah, it sure does.
Hey, what's going on up here?
Yo, fellas.
We got ourselves a real problem.
Oh, shit.
Christ.
Oh, shit.
Lou!
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Lou!
Lou!
I'm calling in the third alarm.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Lou, what's your position?
We're on 3.
We're in the middle of an arson, chief.
There's diesel fuel everywhere.
Give me a recall.
Yeah.
Everyone's accounted for.
Any visible exits?
Back the way we came.
Get your asses there now.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Back the way we came.
Here we go.
Go.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
All right.
Stay together.
Back, guys.
Back.
Back.
Stay together.
Go.
Ugh.
Everybody over here.
This way.
Stand over here.
Got it.
Oh!
Aah.
Go.
Go.
Come on.
Come on.
Elevator.
Elevator.
Hit the elevator.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Go.
Go.
Ugh.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on.
Get in, guys.
Get in.
Get in!
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
All right.
All right.
Going.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's take her down.
Oh, shit!
Tommy!
I'm trying!
Down, down, down!
Shit.
Damn it.
Goddamn cables are burnt.
I got to go up.
I got to go up.
I got it.
I got it.
Ugh.
Come on.
Son of a bitch.
Up.
Up.
Son of a bitch.
Come on.
God damn it.
Let's go!
All right.
All right.
All right.
Let's go.
Here we go.
Get your heli up.
Come on.
All right.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
Get the grate up!
Hurry it up!
Hurry it up!
Come on, boys.
Come on.
Speed it up.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Go, go.
God damn it.
Oh!
Chief, we're on the fourth floor now.
What the hell are they going up for?
All right, Lou, look.
There's a window at exposure 2.
Get over there now, and I'll send Nielsy around with a ladder.
Listen, I got towers up.
I want you on the curb so we can soak this bitch.
Stretch that out!
Oh.
Guys.
Take your tanks off.
Save your air.
Save your air, Mikey.
Get the tank off.
Jesus Christ.
Where the hell's Niels with that ladder?
Oh.
Yeah!
Free at last, baby!
Free at last.
Nielsy!
Hey, guys.
Need a ride.
Thank God.
All right.
Shush.
Hush.
Help!
Please help us!
God damn it.
You hear that?
Yeah.
It's those kids.
All right.
Let's go.
Come on.
Yeah, like we're not going to come with you.
All right.
Chief, listen.
We hear the kids now.
We're heading in their direction.
All right, look, Lou.
You don't have a lot of air left.
You get to that window, and you get back immediately.
And if you can't make it, get over to the bulkhead stairs.
You can't send them to the bulkhead.
It's like a furnace up there.
I got to get some water on these lower floors so you don't get cooked.
You be careful up there.
There's going to be fire pushing all over the goddamn place.
We don't have a choice, Sid.
They're not going to leave those kids.
Help us!
You got to help us!
We're locked in!
All right.
Sit tight.
We're coming for you.
Go, go, go!
You got to help me.
Sit down.
We're coming.
You got to get me out of here.
Calm down.
Nice and easy now.
Nice and easy.
Deep breath.
Deep breath.
Yeah.
Deep breath.
You got to get me out of here.
Ok.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Deep breath.
Relax.
Come on.
Let's go!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on, let's go!
All right, chief.
Listen, we lost our safety line, and our tanks are going dry.
There's no way we're making it back to that window.
We're headed for the bulkhead.
Now, guys.
Go, go.
Let's go.
Keep going.
Straight up.
Go, go, go.
Keep going.
Up, up, up, up.
Go.
Let's go.
I'm out of air!
I'm out.
Ugh.
Chief, we reached the bulkhead with the grabs.
Where's the ladder?
Ladder's arriving now.
All right.
We'll get that goddamn door open.
I've been sitting on a power tank down here.
Go, guys, go, go!
Come on!
Shit!
The goddamn door won't shut!
What do you got?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.
We just go back.
We're gonna be okay.
Breath slow, breath slow.
Let's go, go, go.
Son of a bitch.
Oh, shit.
Urgent, urgent, the *** is bricked over.
There's no means for regress.
62 has no means of regress, okay?
Nielsy, I want you to get off that roof now.
Repeat.
The structure is compromised, it is unstable.
Get off that goddamn roof now.
We're gonna be okay, we're gonna be alright.
Just breath easy, breath easy.
Shawn get back to work, men.
Come on, asshole.
We don't quit.
We're gonna be okay.
We're gonna be alright, we're gonna be alright.
What do you wanna do, Lou?
Go, Tom, go.
Sure?
We'll be fine.
Trust me.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com