Show: Everybody Loves Raymond - 2x20
Where is Ray?
We'll be Iate for T-ball, come on.
Listen, honey, we're going to the park, see?
So you need your pants.
Yes.
Take me out forsome T-ball Take me out forsome fun It'sjust like baseball, but you hit offa tee It's all little kids So there's no injury Rhymes, come on.
Let's go.
Are you ready?
No, because every time I turn around, this one takes his cIothes off.
You're supposed to dress them different, right?
They have to have their own identity.
Okay, so he'll be MichaeI the naked one.
-Come on, Ally, you ready for T-ball?
-Yeah, I guess so.
You guess so?
Come on, it's your first game.
Come on, pump it up.
She's pIenty pumped up.
She sIept in her uniform.
Yeah!
All right, come on, Iet's see that swing here.
Oh, beautifuI cut!
-Not in the house.
-Not in the house!
-Here's the baseball.
-Yeah.
I want the baseball.
Not in the house.
You sound Iike my mom.
Sorry.
When we signed up for T-ball...
you promised that you'd be home earIy so you couId heIp me...
and I had to get everything ready.
I had to get them dressed.
I had to get the team snack.
Everything.
-I had to write that song.
-Yeah, right.
And you didn't hear the next verse.
My wife, Debra, is so nice She is real prett, too Ally, I'm going to need that bat.
She sexy, she's skinny, her breath is real good We don't have as much sex as we should Hi, I'm Ray.
And I Iive here in Long IsIand, with my wife, Debra...
my 6-year-oId-daughter and twin 2-year-oId-boys.
My parents...
Iive across the street.
That's right.
And my brother Iives with them.
Now, not every famiIy wouId defy gravity for you...
but mine wouId because-- Everybody Ioves Raymond.
Hey, you didn't....
Look how cute they are.
Good catch!
Say, you got a GoId GIover out there, Raymond.
-She's Iike a boy, yeah?
-Yeah, onIy smarter.
Ally tagged him out!
What's he still doing out there?
Hey, kid!
Sit down!
You're out!
No, Dad, he's not out, okay?
Nobody's out.
Those are the ruIes.
It's okay.
Don't cry, IittIe boy.
That's stupid.
How do you win?
You don't win.
It's not Iike when we pIayed LittIe League.
This teaches them the skills without the pressure.
And humiIiation.
You know what you shouId do, Raymond?
You're a big sports coIumnist...
you shouId do a coIumn on T-ball for Newsday.
Yeah, sure.
Right after my articIe on running through the sprinkIer.
It's better than just sports.
It's about famiIies spending time together.
You'd be writing about something you Iove.
-Hi.
Are you, Ray?
-Yeah.
-Bryan Trenberth.
-Hey.
I just wanted to make sure you remembered the team snack.
Yeah.
We took care of it.
Well, it is aImost the fourth inning.
Yeah.
I think it's a good idea to have each snack item Iaid out by the top of the fourth inning.
Don't you?
I think it's a good idea.
-I think that's best.
-Okay.
All right.
Deb, we're supposed to put the snacks out now.
Okay.
Marie, can you take the boys over to the sandbox?
Make sure MichaeI keeps his cIothes on, okay?
Oh, yeah.
The sand, that gets irritating.
-I can heIp you, Debra, is it?
-Yes.
-Yes.
You know what, Debra?
-What?
I think it'd be a good idea if we Iaid everything out right now.
This is everything.
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
Honey, how's the snack situation?
Well, here's the concern.
All we seem to have today are pretzeIs.
And Hawaiian Punch.
Oh, God.
Got some things in the car.
Excuse me, but I don't see what the big deaI is.
We're supposed to bring a snack, and pretzeIs are a snack, right?
Does say "snack" right on the box.
Yes, it does, but I beIieve I sent you a printout...
and it says: "A heaIthy team snack will be provided by parents on a rotating basis."
And here's you, and here's the approved snack Iist...
and no pretzeIs.
It doesn't say "no pretzeIs."
I'm sorry.
Maybe you misunderstood me.
There are no pretzeIs...
on the Iist of approved snacks.
He's right.
There are no pretzeIs there.
Well, I never saw the Iist.
I sent you an orientation pack.
A big bIue foIder?
Okay, we're very sorry.
Wait a minute.
We're not that sorry.
I mean, come on, it's a snack.
Forget it.
I mean, it's no big deaI.
There's no reason to aImost yell.
I'm not aImost yelling.
Look, I'm juggIing three kids under seven.
I don't have time to cater a T-ball game.
I'm sorry...
but you do seem to be getting quite upset over what shouId be a minor issue.
Excuse me, but you're the one who's freaking out over a box of pretzeIs.
Nobody's freaking, all right?
It's your first game, you didn't know what to bring...
and you took a shot with the pretzeIs.
Here we go!
AppIes, traiI mix, and kiwis.
That's good.
Good idea.
Kiwis.
-Look, it's fuzzy.
-Stop it, Ray.
It's a very good job, Lisa.
And since we ended up doing the snacks this week...
Debra and Ray will just take our spot next week, okay?
-Okay.
All right, we'll do that.
-Wait.
That's not okay.
It's not about giving the kids something to eat.
This is about some uptight guy on a power trip.
You know what, Bryan?
Our snack is pretzeIs.
I'm sorry.
Maybe you're not the kind of peopIe...
we shouId be sharing the T-ball experience with.
No.
-Excuse me.
You said-- -No.
We're good peopIe.
We'll do it.
We'll bring the snack.
-Ray?
-What?
I just....
All right.
I'm sorry about this.
We'll take care of all this.
I hope so.
I mean, after all, we're here for the chiIdren, right?
Will you Iook at that?
Will you just Iook at that?
Now, where's that chiId's parents?
Yeah, Iisten.
I got another snack Iist.
And I think if we just bring, Iike, carrots and ceIery next week...
then everybody'll be happy.
Except the kids.
We're not bringing anything.
No, Iook.
You won't have to do anything, okay?
We'll get the bag with the carrots and ceIery cut up and washed.
And I think they even throw radishes in there.
Wait, radishes aren't in the Iist.
We are not bringing a snack.
That was the Iist.
I can't ask Bryan for a third Iist.
Why do you care about that pompous IittIe ass?
Okay, he's not your type of person.
But there's no reason to yell at him.
He's just doing his job.
Snacks at T-ball is not his job.
He's an optician.
ExactIy why you shouIdn't yell at him.
It's voIunteer work.
I cannot beIieve that you took his side.
He has a point.
I mean, pretzeIs weren't on the Iist.
I don't care if I put out a bowI of rocks today, okay?
We are married!
If somebody taIks to your wife that way you're supposed to support her.
What if the wife is aImost yelling?
I was standing up for myseIf.
Yeah.
Why do you do that?
It's Iike when I was a kid and I'd be with my parents...
and they'd get in these shouting matches.
And not just with each other, with reguIar peopIe.
We'd be out, and they'd yell at the saIesman...
or the waiter or the tollbooth guy...
and the cars behind us are honking, and my father's screaming: "Pennies are money."
And the guy in the truck behind us gets out and....
Ray, I'm sorry about your whoIe Iife...
but I'm not gonna Iet that guy intimidate me.
Don't make a thing.
You know, Ray, why do you need everybody to Iike you?
What?
You know, you can never make a scene about anything...
because, God forbid, somebody doesn't Iike you.
Wait a minute.
So I'm IikabIe.
Okay.
Isn't that why you Iike me?
I Iove you, I have to Iike you.
Next week, when we show up without a snack...
couId you pIease back me up?
Okay, if it means that much to you.
Or we couId just quit T-ball.
It's not Iike Ally's gonna turn pro or anything.
You are unbeIievabIe.
Why can't you just say: Hi, Bryan Trenberth, I don't care if you Iike me or not...
but we didn't bring a snack this week 'cause my wife is as busy as hell...
and she brought a perfectIy fine snack Iast week...
and if it's not on your stupid Iist... "
I'm sorry, but that's your probIem."
I don't really taIk Iike that.
Yeah.
That's too bad.
You know what everybody's gonna call us, don't you? "
Mr.
and Mrs.
PretzeI."
Yeah.
Get ready.
Hey, come on.
Let's get to the game.
You're coming again?
Great.
Listen, you know that "Nobody wins, everybody has fun" crap?
That ends today.
I'm keeping score.
Dad, no, it's not about the score.
Then why the hell bother?
Because it's famiIy fun!
Stop.
Put it away, all right?
I got enough troubIe.
What are you so worried about?
That IittIe weenie with the cIipboard?
We had guys Iike that in Korea.
Second Iieutenants.
College guys.
PIatoons hated their guts.
You know what happened to them?
You know what friendIy fire is?
Well, sometimes it wasn't so friendIy.
They killed their own guys.
Not aIways.
Sometimes they'd just send them back to college.
To the ones without a Iot of steps.
So your advice to me is I shouId shoot Bryan Trenberth over a box of pretzeIs...
at a kids' T-ball game.
-Right.
The kids.
-Yeah.
You know, Dad, you're not obIigated to come to these games...
or taIk to me.
All I'm saying is, you don't Iet peopIe push you around.
UnIess you want your chiIdren to think their father is....
How great wouId it be if you just took off.
Dad, are we going?
Mom wants to knowhow Iong you're going to Ieave us in the car.
Tell your brother, have you ever seen me back down from anybody?
No, sir. "
Pennies are money."
Dad wants me to murder Bryan Trenberth.
No, don't.
Bryan's a great guy.
Very organized.
He's getting me some sungIasses.
Yeah.
I know.
He's a good guy.
Debra's all, "We're not bringing a snack.
We brought a snack."
I'm bringing a snack, and a good one.
Wait a minute.
The cIipboard weenie guy tells you to bring a snack.
Your wife tells you not to bring a snack.
And you're bringing a snack.
Fire in the hoId!
Yeah, I saw that.
No chance of one of you diving on that, is there?
It's our turn to bring a snack.
I think I'm doing the right thing here.
Okay?
Debra will see that.
Oh, yeah.
She'll see that.
Come on, Dad, Iet's get a good seat.
I want to see that, too.
You want to know what the score is?
-Dad.
-57-to-48.
Stop it.
Who's winning?
They are.
And you can thank Weenie's kid.
He's got 6 errors.
Yeah.
Okay, Dad.
It's Iike having Venus de MiIo in right fieId.
He's five.
Man, if we couId just trade him.
Look at him trying not to Iook at us.
Will you just take it easy?
He's allowed to Iook, okay?
Try being nice.
Yeah.
Just come on down here.
Just say one word to me.
Take it easy.
Why don't you bIowhim a kiss?
Where're you throwing that ball?
Come on!
Have an idea out there!
Dad, others....
MichaeI's naked.
Oh, no.
You want to see if maybe you can heIp my mom a IittIe bit?
Yeah.
Look, she's stuck.
Who wears high heeIs in a sandbox?
-Come here.
-What are you doing?
Come here.
Hi, Ray.
Snack.
-What?
-Snack, I got the snack.
That's very nice.
Why are you whispering?
Because it's reaI good.
I don't want the kids mobbing us.
-Go get it.
-What?
Get it.
Under the bIeachers.
The gym bag.
Okay.
-He hid it under the bIeachers.
-Gutsy move.
This Iooks very good.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's all very good.
So go set it up.
Set it up over there.
You take all the credit.
Looks Iike you went to a Iot of troubIe here.
Look at....
Tangerines, breadsticks, string cheese, GranoIa Bars-- Don't count it, man.
It's all there.
This is everything on the Iist.
So take it.
Take it away.
It's everything.
Good.
Everybody's happy now.
Here comes Debra.
MichaeI thinks it's a nude beach.
-Hi, Bryan.
-Hi, Debra.
I just have to say, this is really wonderfuI.
What is?
The snack.
They got a really good snack this week.
That's good for you.
What, is he rubbing it in?
Debra, come on.
I'm sorry.
Rubbing what in?
That you found someone to bring a Iist-approved snack this week.
The point's not who brought it, right?
It's that it's here for the kids.
Isn't that it?
Isn't it all about the kids?
-All about the kids.
-That won't save him.
That's what I'm trying to say, Ray.
I just want to thank you and Debra.
-It's okay.
It's all right.
Thanks.
-Thank us for what?
Debra, come on, just drop it.
Bryan Trenberth does not Iet a good deed go unnoticed.
PIease do.
-Ray, what is he taIking about?
-Nothing.
I'm taIking about the beautifuI snack today.
-We didn't bring a snack.
-Ray just gave it to me.
Will you shut up about the snack?
All right.
Just shut up about the stupid, freaking snack!
Here!
You want the snack.
Here.
Take it.
Take all of it.
Here.
Are these heaIthy enough for you?
PIantains!
You couIdn't just put bananas on the Iist, huh?
I ate two of these before I found out you got to cook them!
-I'm sorry.
-What?
You don't want to share T-ball with me?
I don't want to share T-ball with you, Bryan.
By the way, your kid's costing us the game out there, okay?
Yeah, that's right.
I'm keeping score.
Bad!
I'm keeping score, and we're Iosing...
because your kid's out there eating grasshoppers.
Okay?
I don't think that's an approved snack!
Sorry, Bryan.
You don't have to do snacks anymore.
I don't know what happened out there.
You can watch it all Iater.
Greenberg's got it all on video.
-"Too hot for T-ball."
-Yeah.
All right.
Sorry you had to see that.
You know, I was proud and ashamed at the same time.
Well, one thing you don't have to worry about.
-Nobody Iikes me anymore.
-Yeah.
You know, I didn't mean I wanted them to stop Iiking you all in one day.
I thought it couId be kind of a graduaI thing.
I got to tell you, that was scary today, you know?
I never go off on peopIe Iike that.
I mean, my father Iets go all the time.
He gets it out.
I'm sicker than him.
I'm Iike a time bomb.
Don't you worry that at any moment I couId go off Iike that on you sometime?
-Yeah.
-What?
No, I mean it.
What?
Don't.
I'm dangerous.
I throw fruit.
I still Iike you.
Yeah, 'cause you're scared of me.
-Turn around, then.
-There you go.
Good job.
-Aren't they cute?
-Yeah.
Cute.
Let's just hope the pants stay on.
Okay, everybody, it's snack time.
-Whose turn was it to bring snack?
-I got it today.
Here, everybody.
The Iasagna is hot.
Be carefuI.
So we'll start with the antipasto.
And if everything is finished, we have cannoIi.
Here you go, honey.
This is the best snack I've ever seen.
You're unbeIievabIe.
Well, you know, it's all about the kids.
We'll be Iate for T-ball, come on.
Listen, honey, we're going to the park, see?
So you need your pants.
Yes.
Take me out forsome T-ball Take me out forsome fun It'sjust like baseball, but you hit offa tee It's all little kids So there's no injury Rhymes, come on.
Let's go.
Are you ready?
No, because every time I turn around, this one takes his cIothes off.
You're supposed to dress them different, right?
They have to have their own identity.
Okay, so he'll be MichaeI the naked one.
-Come on, Ally, you ready for T-ball?
-Yeah, I guess so.
You guess so?
Come on, it's your first game.
Come on, pump it up.
She's pIenty pumped up.
She sIept in her uniform.
Yeah!
All right, come on, Iet's see that swing here.
Oh, beautifuI cut!
-Not in the house.
-Not in the house!
-Here's the baseball.
-Yeah.
I want the baseball.
Not in the house.
You sound Iike my mom.
Sorry.
When we signed up for T-ball...
you promised that you'd be home earIy so you couId heIp me...
and I had to get everything ready.
I had to get them dressed.
I had to get the team snack.
Everything.
-I had to write that song.
-Yeah, right.
And you didn't hear the next verse.
My wife, Debra, is so nice She is real prett, too Ally, I'm going to need that bat.
She sexy, she's skinny, her breath is real good We don't have as much sex as we should Hi, I'm Ray.
And I Iive here in Long IsIand, with my wife, Debra...
my 6-year-oId-daughter and twin 2-year-oId-boys.
My parents...
Iive across the street.
That's right.
And my brother Iives with them.
Now, not every famiIy wouId defy gravity for you...
but mine wouId because-- Everybody Ioves Raymond.
Hey, you didn't....
Look how cute they are.
Good catch!
Say, you got a GoId GIover out there, Raymond.
-She's Iike a boy, yeah?
-Yeah, onIy smarter.
Ally tagged him out!
What's he still doing out there?
Hey, kid!
Sit down!
You're out!
No, Dad, he's not out, okay?
Nobody's out.
Those are the ruIes.
It's okay.
Don't cry, IittIe boy.
That's stupid.
How do you win?
You don't win.
It's not Iike when we pIayed LittIe League.
This teaches them the skills without the pressure.
And humiIiation.
You know what you shouId do, Raymond?
You're a big sports coIumnist...
you shouId do a coIumn on T-ball for Newsday.
Yeah, sure.
Right after my articIe on running through the sprinkIer.
It's better than just sports.
It's about famiIies spending time together.
You'd be writing about something you Iove.
-Hi.
Are you, Ray?
-Yeah.
-Bryan Trenberth.
-Hey.
I just wanted to make sure you remembered the team snack.
Yeah.
We took care of it.
Well, it is aImost the fourth inning.
Yeah.
I think it's a good idea to have each snack item Iaid out by the top of the fourth inning.
Don't you?
I think it's a good idea.
-I think that's best.
-Okay.
All right.
Deb, we're supposed to put the snacks out now.
Okay.
Marie, can you take the boys over to the sandbox?
Make sure MichaeI keeps his cIothes on, okay?
Oh, yeah.
The sand, that gets irritating.
-I can heIp you, Debra, is it?
-Yes.
-Yes.
You know what, Debra?
-What?
I think it'd be a good idea if we Iaid everything out right now.
This is everything.
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
Honey, how's the snack situation?
Well, here's the concern.
All we seem to have today are pretzeIs.
And Hawaiian Punch.
Oh, God.
Got some things in the car.
Excuse me, but I don't see what the big deaI is.
We're supposed to bring a snack, and pretzeIs are a snack, right?
Does say "snack" right on the box.
Yes, it does, but I beIieve I sent you a printout...
and it says: "A heaIthy team snack will be provided by parents on a rotating basis."
And here's you, and here's the approved snack Iist...
and no pretzeIs.
It doesn't say "no pretzeIs."
I'm sorry.
Maybe you misunderstood me.
There are no pretzeIs...
on the Iist of approved snacks.
He's right.
There are no pretzeIs there.
Well, I never saw the Iist.
I sent you an orientation pack.
A big bIue foIder?
Okay, we're very sorry.
Wait a minute.
We're not that sorry.
I mean, come on, it's a snack.
Forget it.
I mean, it's no big deaI.
There's no reason to aImost yell.
I'm not aImost yelling.
Look, I'm juggIing three kids under seven.
I don't have time to cater a T-ball game.
I'm sorry...
but you do seem to be getting quite upset over what shouId be a minor issue.
Excuse me, but you're the one who's freaking out over a box of pretzeIs.
Nobody's freaking, all right?
It's your first game, you didn't know what to bring...
and you took a shot with the pretzeIs.
Here we go!
AppIes, traiI mix, and kiwis.
That's good.
Good idea.
Kiwis.
-Look, it's fuzzy.
-Stop it, Ray.
It's a very good job, Lisa.
And since we ended up doing the snacks this week...
Debra and Ray will just take our spot next week, okay?
-Okay.
All right, we'll do that.
-Wait.
That's not okay.
It's not about giving the kids something to eat.
This is about some uptight guy on a power trip.
You know what, Bryan?
Our snack is pretzeIs.
I'm sorry.
Maybe you're not the kind of peopIe...
we shouId be sharing the T-ball experience with.
No.
-Excuse me.
You said-- -No.
We're good peopIe.
We'll do it.
We'll bring the snack.
-Ray?
-What?
I just....
All right.
I'm sorry about this.
We'll take care of all this.
I hope so.
I mean, after all, we're here for the chiIdren, right?
Will you Iook at that?
Will you just Iook at that?
Now, where's that chiId's parents?
Yeah, Iisten.
I got another snack Iist.
And I think if we just bring, Iike, carrots and ceIery next week...
then everybody'll be happy.
Except the kids.
We're not bringing anything.
No, Iook.
You won't have to do anything, okay?
We'll get the bag with the carrots and ceIery cut up and washed.
And I think they even throw radishes in there.
Wait, radishes aren't in the Iist.
We are not bringing a snack.
That was the Iist.
I can't ask Bryan for a third Iist.
Why do you care about that pompous IittIe ass?
Okay, he's not your type of person.
But there's no reason to yell at him.
He's just doing his job.
Snacks at T-ball is not his job.
He's an optician.
ExactIy why you shouIdn't yell at him.
It's voIunteer work.
I cannot beIieve that you took his side.
He has a point.
I mean, pretzeIs weren't on the Iist.
I don't care if I put out a bowI of rocks today, okay?
We are married!
If somebody taIks to your wife that way you're supposed to support her.
What if the wife is aImost yelling?
I was standing up for myseIf.
Yeah.
Why do you do that?
It's Iike when I was a kid and I'd be with my parents...
and they'd get in these shouting matches.
And not just with each other, with reguIar peopIe.
We'd be out, and they'd yell at the saIesman...
or the waiter or the tollbooth guy...
and the cars behind us are honking, and my father's screaming: "Pennies are money."
And the guy in the truck behind us gets out and....
Ray, I'm sorry about your whoIe Iife...
but I'm not gonna Iet that guy intimidate me.
Don't make a thing.
You know, Ray, why do you need everybody to Iike you?
What?
You know, you can never make a scene about anything...
because, God forbid, somebody doesn't Iike you.
Wait a minute.
So I'm IikabIe.
Okay.
Isn't that why you Iike me?
I Iove you, I have to Iike you.
Next week, when we show up without a snack...
couId you pIease back me up?
Okay, if it means that much to you.
Or we couId just quit T-ball.
It's not Iike Ally's gonna turn pro or anything.
You are unbeIievabIe.
Why can't you just say: Hi, Bryan Trenberth, I don't care if you Iike me or not...
but we didn't bring a snack this week 'cause my wife is as busy as hell...
and she brought a perfectIy fine snack Iast week...
and if it's not on your stupid Iist... "
I'm sorry, but that's your probIem."
I don't really taIk Iike that.
Yeah.
That's too bad.
You know what everybody's gonna call us, don't you? "
Mr.
and Mrs.
PretzeI."
Yeah.
Get ready.
Hey, come on.
Let's get to the game.
You're coming again?
Great.
Listen, you know that "Nobody wins, everybody has fun" crap?
That ends today.
I'm keeping score.
Dad, no, it's not about the score.
Then why the hell bother?
Because it's famiIy fun!
Stop.
Put it away, all right?
I got enough troubIe.
What are you so worried about?
That IittIe weenie with the cIipboard?
We had guys Iike that in Korea.
Second Iieutenants.
College guys.
PIatoons hated their guts.
You know what happened to them?
You know what friendIy fire is?
Well, sometimes it wasn't so friendIy.
They killed their own guys.
Not aIways.
Sometimes they'd just send them back to college.
To the ones without a Iot of steps.
So your advice to me is I shouId shoot Bryan Trenberth over a box of pretzeIs...
at a kids' T-ball game.
-Right.
The kids.
-Yeah.
You know, Dad, you're not obIigated to come to these games...
or taIk to me.
All I'm saying is, you don't Iet peopIe push you around.
UnIess you want your chiIdren to think their father is....
How great wouId it be if you just took off.
Dad, are we going?
Mom wants to knowhow Iong you're going to Ieave us in the car.
Tell your brother, have you ever seen me back down from anybody?
No, sir. "
Pennies are money."
Dad wants me to murder Bryan Trenberth.
No, don't.
Bryan's a great guy.
Very organized.
He's getting me some sungIasses.
Yeah.
I know.
He's a good guy.
Debra's all, "We're not bringing a snack.
We brought a snack."
I'm bringing a snack, and a good one.
Wait a minute.
The cIipboard weenie guy tells you to bring a snack.
Your wife tells you not to bring a snack.
And you're bringing a snack.
Fire in the hoId!
Yeah, I saw that.
No chance of one of you diving on that, is there?
It's our turn to bring a snack.
I think I'm doing the right thing here.
Okay?
Debra will see that.
Oh, yeah.
She'll see that.
Come on, Dad, Iet's get a good seat.
I want to see that, too.
You want to know what the score is?
-Dad.
-57-to-48.
Stop it.
Who's winning?
They are.
And you can thank Weenie's kid.
He's got 6 errors.
Yeah.
Okay, Dad.
It's Iike having Venus de MiIo in right fieId.
He's five.
Man, if we couId just trade him.
Look at him trying not to Iook at us.
Will you just take it easy?
He's allowed to Iook, okay?
Try being nice.
Yeah.
Just come on down here.
Just say one word to me.
Take it easy.
Why don't you bIowhim a kiss?
Where're you throwing that ball?
Come on!
Have an idea out there!
Dad, others....
MichaeI's naked.
Oh, no.
You want to see if maybe you can heIp my mom a IittIe bit?
Yeah.
Look, she's stuck.
Who wears high heeIs in a sandbox?
-Come here.
-What are you doing?
Come here.
Hi, Ray.
Snack.
-What?
-Snack, I got the snack.
That's very nice.
Why are you whispering?
Because it's reaI good.
I don't want the kids mobbing us.
-Go get it.
-What?
Get it.
Under the bIeachers.
The gym bag.
Okay.
-He hid it under the bIeachers.
-Gutsy move.
This Iooks very good.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's all very good.
So go set it up.
Set it up over there.
You take all the credit.
Looks Iike you went to a Iot of troubIe here.
Look at....
Tangerines, breadsticks, string cheese, GranoIa Bars-- Don't count it, man.
It's all there.
This is everything on the Iist.
So take it.
Take it away.
It's everything.
Good.
Everybody's happy now.
Here comes Debra.
MichaeI thinks it's a nude beach.
-Hi, Bryan.
-Hi, Debra.
I just have to say, this is really wonderfuI.
What is?
The snack.
They got a really good snack this week.
That's good for you.
What, is he rubbing it in?
Debra, come on.
I'm sorry.
Rubbing what in?
That you found someone to bring a Iist-approved snack this week.
The point's not who brought it, right?
It's that it's here for the kids.
Isn't that it?
Isn't it all about the kids?
-All about the kids.
-That won't save him.
That's what I'm trying to say, Ray.
I just want to thank you and Debra.
-It's okay.
It's all right.
Thanks.
-Thank us for what?
Debra, come on, just drop it.
Bryan Trenberth does not Iet a good deed go unnoticed.
PIease do.
-Ray, what is he taIking about?
-Nothing.
I'm taIking about the beautifuI snack today.
-We didn't bring a snack.
-Ray just gave it to me.
Will you shut up about the snack?
All right.
Just shut up about the stupid, freaking snack!
Here!
You want the snack.
Here.
Take it.
Take all of it.
Here.
Are these heaIthy enough for you?
PIantains!
You couIdn't just put bananas on the Iist, huh?
I ate two of these before I found out you got to cook them!
-I'm sorry.
-What?
You don't want to share T-ball with me?
I don't want to share T-ball with you, Bryan.
By the way, your kid's costing us the game out there, okay?
Yeah, that's right.
I'm keeping score.
Bad!
I'm keeping score, and we're Iosing...
because your kid's out there eating grasshoppers.
Okay?
I don't think that's an approved snack!
Sorry, Bryan.
You don't have to do snacks anymore.
I don't know what happened out there.
You can watch it all Iater.
Greenberg's got it all on video.
-"Too hot for T-ball."
-Yeah.
All right.
Sorry you had to see that.
You know, I was proud and ashamed at the same time.
Well, one thing you don't have to worry about.
-Nobody Iikes me anymore.
-Yeah.
You know, I didn't mean I wanted them to stop Iiking you all in one day.
I thought it couId be kind of a graduaI thing.
I got to tell you, that was scary today, you know?
I never go off on peopIe Iike that.
I mean, my father Iets go all the time.
He gets it out.
I'm sicker than him.
I'm Iike a time bomb.
Don't you worry that at any moment I couId go off Iike that on you sometime?
-Yeah.
-What?
No, I mean it.
What?
Don't.
I'm dangerous.
I throw fruit.
I still Iike you.
Yeah, 'cause you're scared of me.
-Turn around, then.
-There you go.
Good job.
-Aren't they cute?
-Yeah.
Cute.
Let's just hope the pants stay on.
Okay, everybody, it's snack time.
-Whose turn was it to bring snack?
-I got it today.
Here, everybody.
The Iasagna is hot.
Be carefuI.
So we'll start with the antipasto.
And if everything is finished, we have cannoIi.
Here you go, honey.
This is the best snack I've ever seen.
You're unbeIievabIe.
Well, you know, it's all about the kids.