Show: Las Vegas - 4x7
What time is it?
It's almost 8:00.
Oh,I have to get to work.
Hey,hey,just relax.
Don't you think you might be jumping back into work a little bit too fast?
What do you mean?
After the kidnapping, I think it's a fair excuse to take a few personal days, maybe- or maybe see someone.
What does that mean?
Like a shrink,a counselor, someone you can talk to about the stress of what happened.
I know a guy.
It's the guy that I talked to when I came back from Iraq.
I'm fine.
What am I supposed to do, stay home and cry?
That's not what I'm saying.
I just think- What?
Damn it!
How many times have I told you to put the seat down?
Well,maybe you should look before you sit next time.
I hope you flushed.
You know,if we're gonna live together, there's a couple of things we need to get worked out.
You know,that's a great idea.
Hold on a second.
You-you keep a list?
No,no,just a few thoughts so I don't forget.
I was gonna bring this up before, but then you were buried alive and I didn't want to be insensitive.
What's on the list, Danny?
Uh,you know what?
We can talk about this some other time.
No,no,no,no,no.
What's on the list?
It's silly,stupid stuff.
Like- Like-like what?
Like this,for example.
Lipstick on the drinking glass.
You know,you have to manually scrub that off before you put it in the dishwasher.
Oh.
What else?
Well,uh- I don't know if you grew up with maids or whatever, but you shouldn't just take off your panties and throw them on the floor.
Only I can take off your panties and throw them on the floor- which I'm totally available for right now.
No,I don't think so.
'Cause I have a list too.
Great.
What's on your list?
Well,I don't have it on me right now.
This is totally informal.
Anything you got.
You can't dance.
Excuse me?
But that's just not true.
I'm a fantastic dancer.
You look ridiculous when you dance,Danny.
It's embarrassing.
Okay,I'm talking about things in the home.
This is not an opportunity for you to just bash me.
What are you talking about, embarrassing?
I don't want to have this conversation right now.
You're the one that opened up the door here.
I happen to be an amazing dancer!
Okay?
Maybe you just don't understand what I'm doing when I'm- Aah!
You knew the seat was up.
You knew the seat was up.
Can I help you?
Yeah.
Is that that the Omnivu hi-rex color dome?
No.
We still use Cantek 235Ds.
You guys gotta upgrade, get with the times.
Yeah.
You use the RFID scanners?
We do.
At least you got that right.
Thanks.
Mike Cannon.
Leo.
Pedowitz.
Are you here with the class trip?
Yeah,yeah, my high school offered to take a bunch of students to see UNLV, so I thought I'd come.
But you're not interested in UNLV.
I actually got into MIT early.
Just don't say anything.
For a fellow Beaver, my lips are sealed.
Oh!
You went to MIT and...
you're working in security.
Uh,so if you're not looking at UNLV, why are you here?
Well,I can't speak for the rest of my class, but I have no intention of going to college a virgin, know what I mean?
Kid's here to get laid.
Hey,boss?
Hey.
Can I get a sec?
What's up?
Well, somebody just ordered The Million Dollar Wedding Extravaganza.
What's that?
It's a promotional thing we put together a few years ago.
I didn't think anybody'd do it.
I mean,a million bucks for a wedding?
What,exactly,do you get for a million bucks?
Well,for $1 million, you get a fully catered wedding for up to 300 people.
A consultant from Harry Winston comes out to help you pick out a 6-carat diamond.
You get massages and bathrobes, and Wayne Newton sings.
Wayne Newton?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know you guys had some kind of like a problem...
a little while back, but that's all in the past,right?
No,it is not in the past.
Yeah,I know,'cause I just got a call from his people saying he refuses to perform unless you personally apologize.
Well,then, you better get somebody else.
No apology?
I'm sorry.
Get someone else.
What's up?
Hey,top o' the mornin'.
Let me-let me ask you a question.
Sure.
And I want you to answer honestly.
Okay.
Do you consider me to be a bad dancer?
In what sense?
In the sense that I look unusual when I dance?
Forget I asked.
al,yes.
I mean,come on,man, when Cowboy Troy was here, and you were playing chicken with the train You could have told me.
It wasn't my place.
Besides,you never asked.
If it's so embarrassing, next time we're all out, guess what-I ain't dancing.
How's that?
Okay.
I just don't understand.
Want me to teach you how to dance?
The black guy's gonna teach the white guy how to dance?
No,thanks.
It's not a race thing.
That's okay.
It just so happens you can't dance,I can.
You're my buddy, I wanna help you out,all right?
Ain't nothin' to it but to do it,so get up.
No.
Come on.
No.
Let's dance.
Stop that.
Let me show you a couple things.
Come on,Danny,we're gonna start with up-rocking, something easy.
Nothin' too hard, and you go side-to-side, side-to-side- this is easy!
This is easy.
Get a little shoulder action.
Yeah.
Then you dodge over here,you party over- Hey!
'Scuse me,guys.
Stretchin' out.
Ahem.
We have a situation in the valet.
Put it up on P7.
Yeah.
Just put it up on P7.
Is that,uh, Jimmy "The Chin" Aversano of the Gambese Family?
He knows he's black-booked.
Denise, pull up camera seven.
The big guy, isn't that,uh, Dino Lucci?
Huh.
And Vinnie "T-Bone."
Why would three members of the biggest crime family of New Jersey just come in?
Maybe they want dance lessons.
I hope that everything went okay with the private plane we sent?
Oh,very nice, thank you.
Good,good.
Ah-ahem!
I want to talk about the cake.
Maybe we should hold off on this,Carla, until we've had a chance to discuss it further?
There's nothing more to discuss,Muriel.
There's two things I've always wanted at my wedding.
Oh,yeah?
What's that?
I want to walk down the aisle to Bon Jovi,Living on a Prayer.
And I want a diamond-encrusted cake.
Is that such a big freaking deal?
Honey?
I think it's kinda cool.
You see what I'm dealing with?
Well,it is her day.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Sorry,fellas-we can't allow you entry into the hotel.
Why not?
Well,without getting into specifics, you're in the black book,and we can refuse entry to anyone.
Fine.
I'd like to speak to who's in charge.
For our purposes here, that would be me, and I'm saying you gotta walk,so- Okay,no problem.
You gimme my mill back, and I'm on my way.
Your mill?
Daddy!
I paid a million dollars cash for my baby girl's wedding.
So I guess I'd better speak to who's really in charge.
Right this way.
So then...
what's the story?
What do you mean?
I mean,you here to rob the joint?
Yeah.
As we speak, my guys are casing the place.
I'm here 'cause my baby girl's getting married.
Ah,that's sweet.
They don't have weddings in Jersey?
They don't have Wayne Newton.
Besides,the feds would be all over it.
Why's that?
'Cause of my business interests.
And that would be what?
I'm in sanitation.
Look,I'm not here for no trouble,okay?
Yeah,I wanna meet Wayne Newton.
I want my daughter to have a beautiful night.
But I chose the Montecito because of you.
Because of me.
Yeah.
I heard you're a stand-up guy.
Who would tell you that?
Well,we have mutual friends out here, and they also told me you're paying too much for the sanitation.
I can help.
Maybe 3% off.
10.
10?
7.
Here,take these.
They're for you.
Thank you.
Cubans.
Cubans are illegal.
How'd you get 'em?
Those?
Fell off a truck.
Quick,I need a few annoying habits of Danny's.
I have a list going.
I can't help you.
You don't think there's anything annoying about Danny?
I think there are about a million things, but I don't have the four hours necessary to get into it.
I'm on my way to pick up a whale.
You always have a whale.
This is important to me.
I'm turning to you as a friend.
Oh.
Well,it's not just any whale.
It's Sharkey Rosenthal,so- Who?
Sharkey Rosenthal.
He's a legend.
He's a notorious bachelor.
Used to hang out with the Rat Pack.
Rumor has it that he gave this cocktail waitress 100,000 grand as a tip, so I'm sure you can understand why I'm willing to sacrifice our friendship.
A hundred thou.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sure she did more than pour his drink.
Ew,no,please.
He's,like,a hundred years old.
Okay He's not here yet.
What's on the list?
Okay,great.
He's fanatical about us using coasters at home.
You don't need a coaster with stemware,you know?
I sure hope that's,like, a hundredth on that list, because that's incredibly stupid-what else?
Um,I told him he can't dance.
You had to tell him that?
What else?
Well,I don't really have much.
That's why I need your help.
How about the fact that he's a little too chummy-chummy with your father-that's creepy.
You're right.
And...
have you ever noticed that every time that boy walks past a mirror, he's gotta look in it?
You guys'll be great.
Mr.
Rosenthal.
Sharkey.
Sharkey.
That's right.
Listen, I'm Sam Marquez, and I have to admit, I'm honored to be your casino host.
Oh,my pleasure.
Ms.
Marquez,I should go over the ground rules with you.
Oh,sure.
Stay there.
Excuse us.
Uh,I'm not going to have to bathe him,am I?
'Cause that would be extra.
I'm just kidding.
No drinking,no smoking, no red meat.
If he gambles,he's to play no more than 45 minutes at a time.
Okay.
Well,we probably won't gamble.
Much.
We'll probably just watch TV or something.
Be careful,Ms.
Marquez.
He has a very concerned family.
They're also very litigious.
Understood.
I'll be back in the morning to pick you up,Mr.
Rosenthal.
Get outta here.
Nice talking to you.
Okay.
What would you like to do,Sharkey?
What do you think- drink,gamble,and get laid.
I'm in Vegas,ain't I?
My kind of guy.
Have you seen the guest list for this wedding?
It's like a reunion of the five major crime families.
Yeah,I know.
How's everything going with Delinda?
Good.
Good.
She,uh- Well,we got into a little argument this morning, but everything else is terrific.
I don't mean your relationship.
I'm not Dr.
Phil.
I mean,with everything that's going on, does she sleep at night, does she have nightmares?
You know, how's she handling things?
She seems okay.
I asked her if she wanted to see the therapist you sent me to, but she said no.
Of course she'd say no.
Anyway, keep an eye on her, will ya?
Yeah,okay.
What was your fight about?
What?
The fight you had this morning.
Oh,uh,it was nothing.
Some domestic stuff.
She said I was a bad dancer.
Oh.
You gonna weigh in on that,or...
No.
Mr.
Delin I have Wayne Newton on the phone for you.
Hello,Wayne.
How the heck are you?
You have a lotta nerve calling me.
Yeah,well, it's been a while.
Just,you know, wanted to say hi.
What do you need?
Well,um,I might as well get right to it.
You remember a few years ago you offered to sing at this million dollar wedding package we have here at the Montecito?
Yeah,I remember.
Well,someone bought the package.
Well,that's nice.
Congratulations.
So you'll do it?
Of course not- I already told you, I don't care if I ever see you again, nor will I ever do you another favor as long as I live.
Come on,now, Wayne,uh...
you know,I just figured we were mature enough to put this behind us.
Look,you called me a liar and a cheat.
You humiliated me in front of my friends and family.
Yeah.
So,did I say something wrong?
Go to hell,Ed!
Screw you,tuxedo.
Well?
What'd he say?
He said for you to call Paul Anka.
Okay,calm down.
What's the problem?
There's no problem.
He ain't cookin' the dinner.
She is.
This is my kitchen.
I'll say who is cooking.
And who is she?
She is my mother.
Best cook in the worid.
No offense.
None taken, because this is totally ridiculous!
It's absurd!
Where are you from,pal?
I'm from Austria.
Well,I rest my case.
I got people flying in from Italy for this, and we ain't eating no schnitzel!
Schnitzel?
Okay.
How 'bout this?
Wolfgang will put together a tasting menu for you and- I'm not auditioning.
I'm Wolfgang Puck.
Mr.
Aversano paid a million dollars for his daughter's wedding.
I think the good man deserves to sample the food.
Fine.
Fine.
But I ain't sampling nothing.
She is.
How 'bout we go up to my room?
Oh,no.
Ouch.
You are embarrassing my alma mater.
Al,we have an underage kid in Opus.
Escort him out.
All right, out of the bar.
Whoa,whoa.?
Try to stay out of trouble,kid.
Excuse me,ma'am.
Are you working tonight?
Yes,I am.
Can I help you?
Oh,wow.
Hold on a second.
Let's talk price here.
For what,sweetie?
Okay,everything.
This may come as a surprise to you, but it's my first time, and I was just wondering if there's,like,a discount 'cause I'm a virgin.
A discount?
Oh,my God.
You think I'm a hooker?
No,no,God,no.
I thought you were a call girl.
All right,here we go.
One ice-cold gin martini straight up.
Thank you,sweetheart.
Keep 'em coming.
Terrible.
Just terrible.
What's that,the drink?
No,not the drink.
I just gave her 500 bucks, and she barely blinked.
Oh,well,we'll get you another waitress.
She must not have seen how generous it was.
No,she doesn't understand that the tip wasn't for the drink.
At my age,it's worth 500 bucks for a smile from a pretty girl.
That's not bad.
And it's free.
Nothing is free.
Well,that's enough for me.
I think I'm done for now.
What do you mean you're done?
We just started.
I'm just not getting the same thrill I used to.
It doesn't get my blood pumping anymore.
Well,maybe your blood isn't pumping, because you're not betting enough.
So we'll raise the limit, because I think that you will be surprised at what it does to your adrenaline if you start betting a half million a hand.
I know-I've done it.
In Atlantic City at the Sands with Frank.
Frank Sinatra?
There's only one Frank, sweetheart.
Anyway, I had a couple of 8s.
I split 'em.
Made a mill on one hand.
Well,I ended up blowing it the next night in a game of stud with the Prince of Monaco.
So believe me,honey, there's not much in gambling I haven't done.
How 'bout this?
We don't have to gamble.
The night is young.
We have this city at our fingertips.
So you tell me what you would like to do, and I will make it happen.
I think Murder,She Wrote starts in ten minutes.
Uh...
Is this the biggest one?
It is,but it has some imperfections.
Some of the others have better clarity and color.
You see,Carla, it's not always the size.
There are the four Cs of diamonds: carat,clarity, color,and cut.
Daddy.
Get the biggest one, princess.
Could you blow that the other way?
This?
Mm-hmm.
Danny, what do you think?
I can't decide between the round one or the square one.
It's called a brilliant or emerald.
The round one.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Me too.
It's shinier.
How much are they worth?
Which?
All of 'em.
About $2 million.
Marone!
Well,that settles that.
She likes the bigger one.
We'll make sure that's ready in time for the wedding.
Pack 'em up.
Any questions?
Yeah.
Where's Wayne Newton?
He,uh- The boss likes Wayne Newton.
What?
The boss likes Wayne Newton.
You want a little coffee?
No,thank you.
Ed,what happened with Wayne Newton?
You know what?
I'd rather not discuss it.
Did he steal from you?
Actually,it's worse.
Did he punch you?
Wayne Newton?
Are you outta your mind?
Oh,come on,Ed,please.
Just tell me what happened.
Okay.
You wanna know?
Yes.
Okay,we're,uh, we're playing in this charity tournament,okay?
So on 17, he hits a second shot- Wait,wait,wait.
Wait,wait,wait.
This is about golf?
Well,of course it is.
Yeah.
The lady from Harry Winston just left.
Carla finally picked her diamond.
Okay,good.
Come here,come here,come here.
Question.
Simple question.
You're in a sand trap,right?
Can you take a practice swing in a sand trap?
Only if the club doesn't hit the sand.
Right.
And if it does?
Penalty stroke.
No,actually,it's two.
Ed,what do you care if Wayne Newton takes a penalty stroke?
I don't give a crap about Wayne Newton- it's not my business- but you don't ask me to sign the score card.
I mean,that makes me an accomplice,right?
Maybe he didn't take his practice swing.
What am I,Ray Charles?
I saw the sand flying in the air!
For God's sake,I'm begging you, just take one for the team!
We have a situation.
I'm in the middle of something.
Well,someone just jacked the Harry Winston woman on the way to her car- took off with $2 million worth of diamonds.
But,hey, what was your thing?
Um...
He came out of nowhere.
Put a gun in the security guard's face and-and grabbed the briefcase.
And you couldn't see his face?
He had on a mask.
Did he have any distinguishing characteristics, an accent or- Hard to tell.
He was screaming, and he seemed a little nervous.
Well,all right.
Um,listen,Mike here will,um, he'll walk you back down to the garage so you can give the police a full report,okay?
Just give us a half a sec here.
Um,see if maybe she remembers something else on the way down there, and I want a complete background check on everyone, especially that security guard she brought.
Got it.
All right.
So,I mean,obviously somebody knew that she was going down to the car with the diamonds.
Yeah.
I wonder who.
No,no,no,man.
It wasn't him.
That guy steals for a living.
Yeah,I know.
Look-I grew up with hundreds of guys like that in Queens,okay?
I'm telling ya, they give you their word.
Unless I have evidence to the contrary, I have a tendency to believe 'em.Okay.
Okay.
Well,then what about one of his guys?
We have,like,50 criminals currently residing in the casino, any one of which could have done this.
And if we permitted a known felon into the casino and he committed a crime, Harry Winston's insurance company could come after us.
We could be on the line for that 2 mill.
Do me a favor-tell Jimmy I want to talk to him,okay?
Okay.
Hold on a second.
What's going on there?
Hey.
Uh,we're just gonna,uh, head up to my room, watch some TV.
She's an old family friend.
Go,Beavers.
Go,Beavers.
What I need are some personal insights that only you can give me.
Well,I'd like to help- Hey,sweetie.
Yes?
You don't have to stay,you know.
I'm not gonna gamble anymore tonight, so why don't you go downstairs and make your commissi�n?
Are you sure?
'Cause I can stick around.
I'll see ya around, kid.
You know,we just got the most curious thing about Elliot Winston's autopsy report.
Oh,uh,what was that?
Well,it was his right vocal chord- Okay,here's what's happening.
If you don't want to gamble, that's no problem.
But I'm not gonna let you spend your last big blowout in Vegas in your room watching reruns of Murder,She Wrote.
You got a better idea?
Yeah,I do-I'm gonna take you out for a night on the town.
Old school.
Come on.
Hey,kid.
No.
I don't want to hear another word-come on.
Sam,I can't walk.
Oh.
Right.
Forgot about that.
Here,hon.
Hey,Danny.
Come on in.
Just going over the seating chart.
Honey,you can't sit Chacho with Jerry "Green Eyes."
There's gonna be a situation.
What kind of situation?
Oh,the kind where one kills the other.
Oh,God.
I hate to interrupt, but Ed wanted a word with you in his office.
Yeah,sure.
Danny.
When do I get my diamond?
Actually,there's been a little delay.
What kind of delay?
Just a little problem.
It's being taken care of.
What kind of problem?
The Harry Winston representative was robbed on the way out to her car.
What?
Freddie, do you hear this?
Is that why Ed wants to speak to me?
You're gonna have to speak with Ed about that.
This is incredible- just incredible!
Calm down,honey.
No,I won't calm down.
What kind of family is this?
They steal at their own daughter's wedding?
Hey,wait a second.
Are you making an accusation,Freddie?
Nobody's making any accusations.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Smith?
No,of course not.
How could it be the mob guy? "
The mob guy"?
Okay,listen, everybody relax.
No one here is a suspect.
Cooper,do something!
What do you want me to do?
Tell your dad he's wrong.
But...he's not.
Your dad is in the mob.
Hey,kid, I'm in sanitation.
Is that what you think of us- that we're a bunch of mobsters?
No,no,honey,not you.
Just...the rest of your family.
Okay,that's it.
Carla,I forbid you to marry into this family.
You forbid it?
I forbid it!
Do you understand?
The forbidding is coming from us!
Get outta here before I swing at you.
You better get outta here.
You keep away from us.
Come here.
That's all right.
You know what,we see a lot of weddings here.
This is very common.
Here, have some wine.
Just drink that.
You'll feel all better.
Well?
Eh.
Eh?
This is a venison ragu.
I steam it slowly for five days!
So does that mean you're okay with this dish being served?
I had better,but...
it's okay.
Okay?
She said okay.
Next dish.
Mrs.
Aversano, do you mind if I talk to Delinda for a minute?
Thank you.
So how are you feeling?
Oh,I have a splitting headache.
Maybe you should go home and lie down for a little bit.
I can't.
I gotta get ready for the wedding.
The wedding's off.
Why,what happened?
A problem with the fam- Listen,come here.
I think that you need to go home and take some time.
I told you I'm fine.
Too bad about the wedding.
Yeah,but at least that's never gonna be a problem with us,right?
What does that mean?
Just that your family's like my family,that's all.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm starting to have a problem with that.
It's on my list.
I think you should spend less time with my dad.
He's my boss-how do you propose I do that,quit?
That's on my list too.
Ok-I think-okay.
I think that this list thing's gotten a little out of hand.
Maybe we should just call a truce.
Truce.
Yeah.
After you were insensitive enough to nitpick about my panties being on the floor?
Look,I thought that it was too soon.
I told you that this morning.
Not a chance,McCoy.
The list continues.
Okay,the list does continue.
And I'm not a bad dancer.
Yes,you are.
Is that all we got?
He took off back into the stairwell.
They found the mask and the briefcase in one of the trashcans.
That could have come out anywhere.
Check every floor.
Let's get a background check on the security guard.
Done.
Security guard's clean.
Obviously,most of the wedding guests are not.
Okay,well,keep looking.
I'll let Ed know.
Good work.
Thank you.
What about the best show you ever saw?
Well,that's a tough one, too,you know.
Okay.
Frank at the Sands when Peter Lawford got lit and made an ass of himself- again!
Or Elvis and Dean Martin singing a duet of That's Amore.
I didn't know they had a concert.
I always heard The Rat Pack and Elvis hated each other.
It wasn't a concert.
It was in my hotel suite.
Boy,that is some life you've had.
Better than some.
Are you married,Sam?
No!
I tried it once.
Any kids?
No!
Why not?
I've got one person in the worid to look after, and I have a hard enough time with that as it is.
You know,the greatest regret in my life is that I didn't have a family.
I mean,take some advice from an old man.
Don't wait till you're my age to realize that you made a mistake.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage old Blue Eyes himself, Mr.
Frank Sinatra.
Looks just like him.
Yeah.
It's eerie.
Do you know that a man can father a child deep into his 80s?
What are you doin'?
Come on,you can't blame a guy for trying.
Was all that just a line?
What?
Come on!
All that "take some advice from an old man, you should have a child" pathetic bit?
Pathetic bit?
Mm-hmm.
Worked on a lot bigger names than Sam Marquez.
Yeah,right.
Kim Novak.
Carole Lombard.
You were with Carole Lombard?
That's right.
What was she like?
I never kiss and tell.
Come on.
What floor is that?
19.
East wing.
Who's the room registered to?
Hamilton High School has a block of rooms.
This one's registered to a Leo Pedowitz.
Look out for any of Jimmy's guys coming out of the stairwell.
Okay,you got it.
We're gonna need a few more minutes,sugar.
Leo?
Mike!
What a pleasant surprise,man.
What's going on in here?
Just hangin',man.
Hangin'?
Capitalism?
Let's go.
Uh,okay.
Ow.
Ow.
Dude,ow.
Whoa,whoa,dude, watch the shirt,man.
Ow?
I just bought that.
Leo!
Leo,what the hell is going on in there?
Look,you really think I'm the only kid who doesn't want to go to college a virgin?
I'm doing them a favor.
By charging them for sex?
I prefer to see it as I'm offering them an education that far exceeds anything they're gonna get in college.
You realize it's illegal.
No.
Not really.
Yes.
Really.
You can go to jail.
And what would your future look like if MIT found out you were arrested for pimping?
Who cares?
I'm not going to MIT.
What?
Yeah.
Why would I want to hang around a bunch of eggheads studying nuclear physics when I could run an empire- An empire?
Excuse me.
Look,Leo,he says this is all he has.
Let me see.
He's lying.
He has at least 10 grand in bonds from his bar mitzvah.
I'll be right there.
Oh,do me a favor.
Draw me a bath?
Go,sugar.
Okay.
God.
Oh.
Gotta go,but listen.
Thanks for the advice.
That's good looking out.
Don't worry.
You're in for a taste.
Ed,I had nothing to do with it.
Okay,fine.
Let's just say you didn't.
Uh,is it possible one of your crew did?
If they did,they're dead.
I'm gonna make believe I didn't hear that.
Listen,I need you to do me a favor here,Jimmy.
I got some footage here from the garage.
Look at it,tell me if you see anything that's recognizable.
Stop that.
Could you get closer?
Can you get any closer?
Ha.
That's it.
I've seen enough.
It ain't one of my guys.
How the hell do you know that?
Because,ain't nobody I know that would be caught dead in a tassel loafer.
I should have known that.
Yes.
Hey,do you mind if we come in?
Sure,sure.
Did you,um,find out who took the diamonds?
What's going on?
Anything you'd like to confess,Mr.
Smith?
I knew we'd never get away with it.
I don't know what she's talking about.
Well,tell him,Freddie.
The police are here.
Get away with what?
He made me do it.
We took ginger ales from the mini bar, and then we replaced them with ones from the store.
Freddie, we're going to jail!
Muriel.
Are these your tasseled loafers,Mr.
Smith?
Mind if I take a look in your safe?
What is going on?
Say you'll pay for the ginger ale!
I just didn't want my son to marry into that family.
I'm not a thief.
They're the thieves!
I was gonna give the diamonds back.
Yeah,you can tell it all to the police.
Dad?
What kind of family is this?
I love you,honey.
Even if your daddy's a crook.
Great.
The wedding's back on.
Let's leave the kids alone.
Oh,crap.
Get me Wayne Newton.
Yeah?
Well,uh, I came to apologize.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't hear that.
Look,it was a while ago.
I had a very bad angle and,uh, maybe you didn't hit the sand on your practice swing.
So,I apologize.
That was an 82.
That was the best round of my life.
It was an 83, not counting the penalty stroke.
Wait,wait,wait,wait.
Come on,wait.
I'm kiddin' around with you, for crying out loud here.
I mean,you know my math is bad.
Anyway,the truth is it was a beautiful 82.
I apologize.
Not good enough.
What would you have me do?
I was humiliated publicly.
You must apologize publicly.
How you doin'?
What's up?
Just asked our resident thugs to do a job for me.
A job?
Yeah,shake down a 17-year-old.
Not so much work as fun, probably.
So,you ready for that lesson?
No.
We will start off slow.
Just tap your foot.
I already told you,Mike.
Not interested.
We don't have to do it here-we can go somewhere more private.
Perhaps you're mistaking my reluctance for embarrassment, but actually,it's because I have no interest in changing my dance style.
I happen to like the way that I dance, and if Delinda can't appreciate that, then maybe she's not the right girl for me.
Or she could be from the planet Earth.
Oh,jokes?
Guys,we have a report that someone's being dangled off the roof?
The-the roof?
Oh,it's fine.
Don't worry about it.
Are we insured for this?
Thank you,Sam.
No,please, it was my pleasure.
Will you please come back and see me soon?
Look,I think we should settle up.
What's the damages?
Um,well,I'll send a marker to your house, and,uh,by the way, last night's on me.
Come here.
For my last night in Vegas, I'm glad I spent it with you,kid.
Oh,Wayne Newton.
Ah,the Sinatra guy looked more realistic.
Well,let's go!
Yes,sir.
So I guess you'll be setting up shop here.
No,actually.
I think I will give MIT a shot.
Really?
Putting the pimping thing on hold for a while.
No.
Just Vegas.
Way too much competition here,man.
Do you have any idea how many virgins there are at MIT?
Gonna make a killing.
Mikey.
See ya around,bro.
Smart kid.
Cold feet there,Cooper?
Well,with my father in jail, it doesn't exactly put me in the celebrating mood.
It's never too late to back out.
Yo,how you doin'?
Round of shots.
Welcome to the family, Cooper.
You know you hurt her, I'm gonna kill you.
It's almost 8:00.
Oh,I have to get to work.
Hey,hey,just relax.
Don't you think you might be jumping back into work a little bit too fast?
What do you mean?
After the kidnapping, I think it's a fair excuse to take a few personal days, maybe- or maybe see someone.
What does that mean?
Like a shrink,a counselor, someone you can talk to about the stress of what happened.
I know a guy.
It's the guy that I talked to when I came back from Iraq.
I'm fine.
What am I supposed to do, stay home and cry?
That's not what I'm saying.
I just think- What?
Damn it!
How many times have I told you to put the seat down?
Well,maybe you should look before you sit next time.
I hope you flushed.
You know,if we're gonna live together, there's a couple of things we need to get worked out.
You know,that's a great idea.
Hold on a second.
You-you keep a list?
No,no,just a few thoughts so I don't forget.
I was gonna bring this up before, but then you were buried alive and I didn't want to be insensitive.
What's on the list, Danny?
Uh,you know what?
We can talk about this some other time.
No,no,no,no,no.
What's on the list?
It's silly,stupid stuff.
Like- Like-like what?
Like this,for example.
Lipstick on the drinking glass.
You know,you have to manually scrub that off before you put it in the dishwasher.
Oh.
What else?
Well,uh- I don't know if you grew up with maids or whatever, but you shouldn't just take off your panties and throw them on the floor.
Only I can take off your panties and throw them on the floor- which I'm totally available for right now.
No,I don't think so.
'Cause I have a list too.
Great.
What's on your list?
Well,I don't have it on me right now.
This is totally informal.
Anything you got.
You can't dance.
Excuse me?
But that's just not true.
I'm a fantastic dancer.
You look ridiculous when you dance,Danny.
It's embarrassing.
Okay,I'm talking about things in the home.
This is not an opportunity for you to just bash me.
What are you talking about, embarrassing?
I don't want to have this conversation right now.
You're the one that opened up the door here.
I happen to be an amazing dancer!
Okay?
Maybe you just don't understand what I'm doing when I'm- Aah!
You knew the seat was up.
You knew the seat was up.
Can I help you?
Yeah.
Is that that the Omnivu hi-rex color dome?
No.
We still use Cantek 235Ds.
You guys gotta upgrade, get with the times.
Yeah.
You use the RFID scanners?
We do.
At least you got that right.
Thanks.
Mike Cannon.
Leo.
Pedowitz.
Are you here with the class trip?
Yeah,yeah, my high school offered to take a bunch of students to see UNLV, so I thought I'd come.
But you're not interested in UNLV.
I actually got into MIT early.
Just don't say anything.
For a fellow Beaver, my lips are sealed.
Oh!
You went to MIT and...
you're working in security.
Uh,so if you're not looking at UNLV, why are you here?
Well,I can't speak for the rest of my class, but I have no intention of going to college a virgin, know what I mean?
Kid's here to get laid.
Hey,boss?
Hey.
Can I get a sec?
What's up?
Well, somebody just ordered The Million Dollar Wedding Extravaganza.
What's that?
It's a promotional thing we put together a few years ago.
I didn't think anybody'd do it.
I mean,a million bucks for a wedding?
What,exactly,do you get for a million bucks?
Well,for $1 million, you get a fully catered wedding for up to 300 people.
A consultant from Harry Winston comes out to help you pick out a 6-carat diamond.
You get massages and bathrobes, and Wayne Newton sings.
Wayne Newton?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know you guys had some kind of like a problem...
a little while back, but that's all in the past,right?
No,it is not in the past.
Yeah,I know,'cause I just got a call from his people saying he refuses to perform unless you personally apologize.
Well,then, you better get somebody else.
No apology?
I'm sorry.
Get someone else.
What's up?
Hey,top o' the mornin'.
Let me-let me ask you a question.
Sure.
And I want you to answer honestly.
Okay.
Do you consider me to be a bad dancer?
In what sense?
In the sense that I look unusual when I dance?
Forget I asked.
al,yes.
I mean,come on,man, when Cowboy Troy was here, and you were playing chicken with the train You could have told me.
It wasn't my place.
Besides,you never asked.
If it's so embarrassing, next time we're all out, guess what-I ain't dancing.
How's that?
Okay.
I just don't understand.
Want me to teach you how to dance?
The black guy's gonna teach the white guy how to dance?
No,thanks.
It's not a race thing.
That's okay.
It just so happens you can't dance,I can.
You're my buddy, I wanna help you out,all right?
Ain't nothin' to it but to do it,so get up.
No.
Come on.
No.
Let's dance.
Stop that.
Let me show you a couple things.
Come on,Danny,we're gonna start with up-rocking, something easy.
Nothin' too hard, and you go side-to-side, side-to-side- this is easy!
This is easy.
Get a little shoulder action.
Yeah.
Then you dodge over here,you party over- Hey!
'Scuse me,guys.
Stretchin' out.
Ahem.
We have a situation in the valet.
Put it up on P7.
Yeah.
Just put it up on P7.
Is that,uh, Jimmy "The Chin" Aversano of the Gambese Family?
He knows he's black-booked.
Denise, pull up camera seven.
The big guy, isn't that,uh, Dino Lucci?
Huh.
And Vinnie "T-Bone."
Why would three members of the biggest crime family of New Jersey just come in?
Maybe they want dance lessons.
I hope that everything went okay with the private plane we sent?
Oh,very nice, thank you.
Good,good.
Ah-ahem!
I want to talk about the cake.
Maybe we should hold off on this,Carla, until we've had a chance to discuss it further?
There's nothing more to discuss,Muriel.
There's two things I've always wanted at my wedding.
Oh,yeah?
What's that?
I want to walk down the aisle to Bon Jovi,Living on a Prayer.
And I want a diamond-encrusted cake.
Is that such a big freaking deal?
Honey?
I think it's kinda cool.
You see what I'm dealing with?
Well,it is her day.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Sorry,fellas-we can't allow you entry into the hotel.
Why not?
Well,without getting into specifics, you're in the black book,and we can refuse entry to anyone.
Fine.
I'd like to speak to who's in charge.
For our purposes here, that would be me, and I'm saying you gotta walk,so- Okay,no problem.
You gimme my mill back, and I'm on my way.
Your mill?
Daddy!
I paid a million dollars cash for my baby girl's wedding.
So I guess I'd better speak to who's really in charge.
Right this way.
So then...
what's the story?
What do you mean?
I mean,you here to rob the joint?
Yeah.
As we speak, my guys are casing the place.
I'm here 'cause my baby girl's getting married.
Ah,that's sweet.
They don't have weddings in Jersey?
They don't have Wayne Newton.
Besides,the feds would be all over it.
Why's that?
'Cause of my business interests.
And that would be what?
I'm in sanitation.
Look,I'm not here for no trouble,okay?
Yeah,I wanna meet Wayne Newton.
I want my daughter to have a beautiful night.
But I chose the Montecito because of you.
Because of me.
Yeah.
I heard you're a stand-up guy.
Who would tell you that?
Well,we have mutual friends out here, and they also told me you're paying too much for the sanitation.
I can help.
Maybe 3% off.
10.
10?
7.
Here,take these.
They're for you.
Thank you.
Cubans.
Cubans are illegal.
How'd you get 'em?
Those?
Fell off a truck.
Quick,I need a few annoying habits of Danny's.
I have a list going.
I can't help you.
You don't think there's anything annoying about Danny?
I think there are about a million things, but I don't have the four hours necessary to get into it.
I'm on my way to pick up a whale.
You always have a whale.
This is important to me.
I'm turning to you as a friend.
Oh.
Well,it's not just any whale.
It's Sharkey Rosenthal,so- Who?
Sharkey Rosenthal.
He's a legend.
He's a notorious bachelor.
Used to hang out with the Rat Pack.
Rumor has it that he gave this cocktail waitress 100,000 grand as a tip, so I'm sure you can understand why I'm willing to sacrifice our friendship.
A hundred thou.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sure she did more than pour his drink.
Ew,no,please.
He's,like,a hundred years old.
Okay He's not here yet.
What's on the list?
Okay,great.
He's fanatical about us using coasters at home.
You don't need a coaster with stemware,you know?
I sure hope that's,like, a hundredth on that list, because that's incredibly stupid-what else?
Um,I told him he can't dance.
You had to tell him that?
What else?
Well,I don't really have much.
That's why I need your help.
How about the fact that he's a little too chummy-chummy with your father-that's creepy.
You're right.
And...
have you ever noticed that every time that boy walks past a mirror, he's gotta look in it?
You guys'll be great.
Mr.
Rosenthal.
Sharkey.
Sharkey.
That's right.
Listen, I'm Sam Marquez, and I have to admit, I'm honored to be your casino host.
Oh,my pleasure.
Ms.
Marquez,I should go over the ground rules with you.
Oh,sure.
Stay there.
Excuse us.
Uh,I'm not going to have to bathe him,am I?
'Cause that would be extra.
I'm just kidding.
No drinking,no smoking, no red meat.
If he gambles,he's to play no more than 45 minutes at a time.
Okay.
Well,we probably won't gamble.
Much.
We'll probably just watch TV or something.
Be careful,Ms.
Marquez.
He has a very concerned family.
They're also very litigious.
Understood.
I'll be back in the morning to pick you up,Mr.
Rosenthal.
Get outta here.
Nice talking to you.
Okay.
What would you like to do,Sharkey?
What do you think- drink,gamble,and get laid.
I'm in Vegas,ain't I?
My kind of guy.
Have you seen the guest list for this wedding?
It's like a reunion of the five major crime families.
Yeah,I know.
How's everything going with Delinda?
Good.
Good.
She,uh- Well,we got into a little argument this morning, but everything else is terrific.
I don't mean your relationship.
I'm not Dr.
Phil.
I mean,with everything that's going on, does she sleep at night, does she have nightmares?
You know, how's she handling things?
She seems okay.
I asked her if she wanted to see the therapist you sent me to, but she said no.
Of course she'd say no.
Anyway, keep an eye on her, will ya?
Yeah,okay.
What was your fight about?
What?
The fight you had this morning.
Oh,uh,it was nothing.
Some domestic stuff.
She said I was a bad dancer.
Oh.
You gonna weigh in on that,or...
No.
Mr.
Delin I have Wayne Newton on the phone for you.
Hello,Wayne.
How the heck are you?
You have a lotta nerve calling me.
Yeah,well, it's been a while.
Just,you know, wanted to say hi.
What do you need?
Well,um,I might as well get right to it.
You remember a few years ago you offered to sing at this million dollar wedding package we have here at the Montecito?
Yeah,I remember.
Well,someone bought the package.
Well,that's nice.
Congratulations.
So you'll do it?
Of course not- I already told you, I don't care if I ever see you again, nor will I ever do you another favor as long as I live.
Come on,now, Wayne,uh...
you know,I just figured we were mature enough to put this behind us.
Look,you called me a liar and a cheat.
You humiliated me in front of my friends and family.
Yeah.
So,did I say something wrong?
Go to hell,Ed!
Screw you,tuxedo.
Well?
What'd he say?
He said for you to call Paul Anka.
Okay,calm down.
What's the problem?
There's no problem.
He ain't cookin' the dinner.
She is.
This is my kitchen.
I'll say who is cooking.
And who is she?
She is my mother.
Best cook in the worid.
No offense.
None taken, because this is totally ridiculous!
It's absurd!
Where are you from,pal?
I'm from Austria.
Well,I rest my case.
I got people flying in from Italy for this, and we ain't eating no schnitzel!
Schnitzel?
Okay.
How 'bout this?
Wolfgang will put together a tasting menu for you and- I'm not auditioning.
I'm Wolfgang Puck.
Mr.
Aversano paid a million dollars for his daughter's wedding.
I think the good man deserves to sample the food.
Fine.
Fine.
But I ain't sampling nothing.
She is.
How 'bout we go up to my room?
Oh,no.
Ouch.
You are embarrassing my alma mater.
Al,we have an underage kid in Opus.
Escort him out.
All right, out of the bar.
Whoa,whoa.?
Try to stay out of trouble,kid.
Excuse me,ma'am.
Are you working tonight?
Yes,I am.
Can I help you?
Oh,wow.
Hold on a second.
Let's talk price here.
For what,sweetie?
Okay,everything.
This may come as a surprise to you, but it's my first time, and I was just wondering if there's,like,a discount 'cause I'm a virgin.
A discount?
Oh,my God.
You think I'm a hooker?
No,no,God,no.
I thought you were a call girl.
All right,here we go.
One ice-cold gin martini straight up.
Thank you,sweetheart.
Keep 'em coming.
Terrible.
Just terrible.
What's that,the drink?
No,not the drink.
I just gave her 500 bucks, and she barely blinked.
Oh,well,we'll get you another waitress.
She must not have seen how generous it was.
No,she doesn't understand that the tip wasn't for the drink.
At my age,it's worth 500 bucks for a smile from a pretty girl.
That's not bad.
And it's free.
Nothing is free.
Well,that's enough for me.
I think I'm done for now.
What do you mean you're done?
We just started.
I'm just not getting the same thrill I used to.
It doesn't get my blood pumping anymore.
Well,maybe your blood isn't pumping, because you're not betting enough.
So we'll raise the limit, because I think that you will be surprised at what it does to your adrenaline if you start betting a half million a hand.
I know-I've done it.
In Atlantic City at the Sands with Frank.
Frank Sinatra?
There's only one Frank, sweetheart.
Anyway, I had a couple of 8s.
I split 'em.
Made a mill on one hand.
Well,I ended up blowing it the next night in a game of stud with the Prince of Monaco.
So believe me,honey, there's not much in gambling I haven't done.
How 'bout this?
We don't have to gamble.
The night is young.
We have this city at our fingertips.
So you tell me what you would like to do, and I will make it happen.
I think Murder,She Wrote starts in ten minutes.
Uh...
Is this the biggest one?
It is,but it has some imperfections.
Some of the others have better clarity and color.
You see,Carla, it's not always the size.
There are the four Cs of diamonds: carat,clarity, color,and cut.
Daddy.
Get the biggest one, princess.
Could you blow that the other way?
This?
Mm-hmm.
Danny, what do you think?
I can't decide between the round one or the square one.
It's called a brilliant or emerald.
The round one.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Me too.
It's shinier.
How much are they worth?
Which?
All of 'em.
About $2 million.
Marone!
Well,that settles that.
She likes the bigger one.
We'll make sure that's ready in time for the wedding.
Pack 'em up.
Any questions?
Yeah.
Where's Wayne Newton?
He,uh- The boss likes Wayne Newton.
What?
The boss likes Wayne Newton.
You want a little coffee?
No,thank you.
Ed,what happened with Wayne Newton?
You know what?
I'd rather not discuss it.
Did he steal from you?
Actually,it's worse.
Did he punch you?
Wayne Newton?
Are you outta your mind?
Oh,come on,Ed,please.
Just tell me what happened.
Okay.
You wanna know?
Yes.
Okay,we're,uh, we're playing in this charity tournament,okay?
So on 17, he hits a second shot- Wait,wait,wait.
Wait,wait,wait.
This is about golf?
Well,of course it is.
Yeah.
The lady from Harry Winston just left.
Carla finally picked her diamond.
Okay,good.
Come here,come here,come here.
Question.
Simple question.
You're in a sand trap,right?
Can you take a practice swing in a sand trap?
Only if the club doesn't hit the sand.
Right.
And if it does?
Penalty stroke.
No,actually,it's two.
Ed,what do you care if Wayne Newton takes a penalty stroke?
I don't give a crap about Wayne Newton- it's not my business- but you don't ask me to sign the score card.
I mean,that makes me an accomplice,right?
Maybe he didn't take his practice swing.
What am I,Ray Charles?
I saw the sand flying in the air!
For God's sake,I'm begging you, just take one for the team!
We have a situation.
I'm in the middle of something.
Well,someone just jacked the Harry Winston woman on the way to her car- took off with $2 million worth of diamonds.
But,hey, what was your thing?
Um...
He came out of nowhere.
Put a gun in the security guard's face and-and grabbed the briefcase.
And you couldn't see his face?
He had on a mask.
Did he have any distinguishing characteristics, an accent or- Hard to tell.
He was screaming, and he seemed a little nervous.
Well,all right.
Um,listen,Mike here will,um, he'll walk you back down to the garage so you can give the police a full report,okay?
Just give us a half a sec here.
Um,see if maybe she remembers something else on the way down there, and I want a complete background check on everyone, especially that security guard she brought.
Got it.
All right.
So,I mean,obviously somebody knew that she was going down to the car with the diamonds.
Yeah.
I wonder who.
No,no,no,man.
It wasn't him.
That guy steals for a living.
Yeah,I know.
Look-I grew up with hundreds of guys like that in Queens,okay?
I'm telling ya, they give you their word.
Unless I have evidence to the contrary, I have a tendency to believe 'em.Okay.
Okay.
Well,then what about one of his guys?
We have,like,50 criminals currently residing in the casino, any one of which could have done this.
And if we permitted a known felon into the casino and he committed a crime, Harry Winston's insurance company could come after us.
We could be on the line for that 2 mill.
Do me a favor-tell Jimmy I want to talk to him,okay?
Okay.
Hold on a second.
What's going on there?
Hey.
Uh,we're just gonna,uh, head up to my room, watch some TV.
She's an old family friend.
Go,Beavers.
Go,Beavers.
What I need are some personal insights that only you can give me.
Well,I'd like to help- Hey,sweetie.
Yes?
You don't have to stay,you know.
I'm not gonna gamble anymore tonight, so why don't you go downstairs and make your commissi�n?
Are you sure?
'Cause I can stick around.
I'll see ya around, kid.
You know,we just got the most curious thing about Elliot Winston's autopsy report.
Oh,uh,what was that?
Well,it was his right vocal chord- Okay,here's what's happening.
If you don't want to gamble, that's no problem.
But I'm not gonna let you spend your last big blowout in Vegas in your room watching reruns of Murder,She Wrote.
You got a better idea?
Yeah,I do-I'm gonna take you out for a night on the town.
Old school.
Come on.
Hey,kid.
No.
I don't want to hear another word-come on.
Sam,I can't walk.
Oh.
Right.
Forgot about that.
Here,hon.
Hey,Danny.
Come on in.
Just going over the seating chart.
Honey,you can't sit Chacho with Jerry "Green Eyes."
There's gonna be a situation.
What kind of situation?
Oh,the kind where one kills the other.
Oh,God.
I hate to interrupt, but Ed wanted a word with you in his office.
Yeah,sure.
Danny.
When do I get my diamond?
Actually,there's been a little delay.
What kind of delay?
Just a little problem.
It's being taken care of.
What kind of problem?
The Harry Winston representative was robbed on the way out to her car.
What?
Freddie, do you hear this?
Is that why Ed wants to speak to me?
You're gonna have to speak with Ed about that.
This is incredible- just incredible!
Calm down,honey.
No,I won't calm down.
What kind of family is this?
They steal at their own daughter's wedding?
Hey,wait a second.
Are you making an accusation,Freddie?
Nobody's making any accusations.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Smith?
No,of course not.
How could it be the mob guy? "
The mob guy"?
Okay,listen, everybody relax.
No one here is a suspect.
Cooper,do something!
What do you want me to do?
Tell your dad he's wrong.
But...he's not.
Your dad is in the mob.
Hey,kid, I'm in sanitation.
Is that what you think of us- that we're a bunch of mobsters?
No,no,honey,not you.
Just...the rest of your family.
Okay,that's it.
Carla,I forbid you to marry into this family.
You forbid it?
I forbid it!
Do you understand?
The forbidding is coming from us!
Get outta here before I swing at you.
You better get outta here.
You keep away from us.
Come here.
That's all right.
You know what,we see a lot of weddings here.
This is very common.
Here, have some wine.
Just drink that.
You'll feel all better.
Well?
Eh.
Eh?
This is a venison ragu.
I steam it slowly for five days!
So does that mean you're okay with this dish being served?
I had better,but...
it's okay.
Okay?
She said okay.
Next dish.
Mrs.
Aversano, do you mind if I talk to Delinda for a minute?
Thank you.
So how are you feeling?
Oh,I have a splitting headache.
Maybe you should go home and lie down for a little bit.
I can't.
I gotta get ready for the wedding.
The wedding's off.
Why,what happened?
A problem with the fam- Listen,come here.
I think that you need to go home and take some time.
I told you I'm fine.
Too bad about the wedding.
Yeah,but at least that's never gonna be a problem with us,right?
What does that mean?
Just that your family's like my family,that's all.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm starting to have a problem with that.
It's on my list.
I think you should spend less time with my dad.
He's my boss-how do you propose I do that,quit?
That's on my list too.
Ok-I think-okay.
I think that this list thing's gotten a little out of hand.
Maybe we should just call a truce.
Truce.
Yeah.
After you were insensitive enough to nitpick about my panties being on the floor?
Look,I thought that it was too soon.
I told you that this morning.
Not a chance,McCoy.
The list continues.
Okay,the list does continue.
And I'm not a bad dancer.
Yes,you are.
Is that all we got?
He took off back into the stairwell.
They found the mask and the briefcase in one of the trashcans.
That could have come out anywhere.
Check every floor.
Let's get a background check on the security guard.
Done.
Security guard's clean.
Obviously,most of the wedding guests are not.
Okay,well,keep looking.
I'll let Ed know.
Good work.
Thank you.
What about the best show you ever saw?
Well,that's a tough one, too,you know.
Okay.
Frank at the Sands when Peter Lawford got lit and made an ass of himself- again!
Or Elvis and Dean Martin singing a duet of That's Amore.
I didn't know they had a concert.
I always heard The Rat Pack and Elvis hated each other.
It wasn't a concert.
It was in my hotel suite.
Boy,that is some life you've had.
Better than some.
Are you married,Sam?
No!
I tried it once.
Any kids?
No!
Why not?
I've got one person in the worid to look after, and I have a hard enough time with that as it is.
You know,the greatest regret in my life is that I didn't have a family.
I mean,take some advice from an old man.
Don't wait till you're my age to realize that you made a mistake.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage old Blue Eyes himself, Mr.
Frank Sinatra.
Looks just like him.
Yeah.
It's eerie.
Do you know that a man can father a child deep into his 80s?
What are you doin'?
Come on,you can't blame a guy for trying.
Was all that just a line?
What?
Come on!
All that "take some advice from an old man, you should have a child" pathetic bit?
Pathetic bit?
Mm-hmm.
Worked on a lot bigger names than Sam Marquez.
Yeah,right.
Kim Novak.
Carole Lombard.
You were with Carole Lombard?
That's right.
What was she like?
I never kiss and tell.
Come on.
What floor is that?
19.
East wing.
Who's the room registered to?
Hamilton High School has a block of rooms.
This one's registered to a Leo Pedowitz.
Look out for any of Jimmy's guys coming out of the stairwell.
Okay,you got it.
We're gonna need a few more minutes,sugar.
Leo?
Mike!
What a pleasant surprise,man.
What's going on in here?
Just hangin',man.
Hangin'?
Capitalism?
Let's go.
Uh,okay.
Ow.
Ow.
Dude,ow.
Whoa,whoa,dude, watch the shirt,man.
Ow?
I just bought that.
Leo!
Leo,what the hell is going on in there?
Look,you really think I'm the only kid who doesn't want to go to college a virgin?
I'm doing them a favor.
By charging them for sex?
I prefer to see it as I'm offering them an education that far exceeds anything they're gonna get in college.
You realize it's illegal.
No.
Not really.
Yes.
Really.
You can go to jail.
And what would your future look like if MIT found out you were arrested for pimping?
Who cares?
I'm not going to MIT.
What?
Yeah.
Why would I want to hang around a bunch of eggheads studying nuclear physics when I could run an empire- An empire?
Excuse me.
Look,Leo,he says this is all he has.
Let me see.
He's lying.
He has at least 10 grand in bonds from his bar mitzvah.
I'll be right there.
Oh,do me a favor.
Draw me a bath?
Go,sugar.
Okay.
God.
Oh.
Gotta go,but listen.
Thanks for the advice.
That's good looking out.
Don't worry.
You're in for a taste.
Ed,I had nothing to do with it.
Okay,fine.
Let's just say you didn't.
Uh,is it possible one of your crew did?
If they did,they're dead.
I'm gonna make believe I didn't hear that.
Listen,I need you to do me a favor here,Jimmy.
I got some footage here from the garage.
Look at it,tell me if you see anything that's recognizable.
Stop that.
Could you get closer?
Can you get any closer?
Ha.
That's it.
I've seen enough.
It ain't one of my guys.
How the hell do you know that?
Because,ain't nobody I know that would be caught dead in a tassel loafer.
I should have known that.
Yes.
Hey,do you mind if we come in?
Sure,sure.
Did you,um,find out who took the diamonds?
What's going on?
Anything you'd like to confess,Mr.
Smith?
I knew we'd never get away with it.
I don't know what she's talking about.
Well,tell him,Freddie.
The police are here.
Get away with what?
He made me do it.
We took ginger ales from the mini bar, and then we replaced them with ones from the store.
Freddie, we're going to jail!
Muriel.
Are these your tasseled loafers,Mr.
Smith?
Mind if I take a look in your safe?
What is going on?
Say you'll pay for the ginger ale!
I just didn't want my son to marry into that family.
I'm not a thief.
They're the thieves!
I was gonna give the diamonds back.
Yeah,you can tell it all to the police.
Dad?
What kind of family is this?
I love you,honey.
Even if your daddy's a crook.
Great.
The wedding's back on.
Let's leave the kids alone.
Oh,crap.
Get me Wayne Newton.
Yeah?
Well,uh, I came to apologize.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't hear that.
Look,it was a while ago.
I had a very bad angle and,uh, maybe you didn't hit the sand on your practice swing.
So,I apologize.
That was an 82.
That was the best round of my life.
It was an 83, not counting the penalty stroke.
Wait,wait,wait,wait.
Come on,wait.
I'm kiddin' around with you, for crying out loud here.
I mean,you know my math is bad.
Anyway,the truth is it was a beautiful 82.
I apologize.
Not good enough.
What would you have me do?
I was humiliated publicly.
You must apologize publicly.
How you doin'?
What's up?
Just asked our resident thugs to do a job for me.
A job?
Yeah,shake down a 17-year-old.
Not so much work as fun, probably.
So,you ready for that lesson?
No.
We will start off slow.
Just tap your foot.
I already told you,Mike.
Not interested.
We don't have to do it here-we can go somewhere more private.
Perhaps you're mistaking my reluctance for embarrassment, but actually,it's because I have no interest in changing my dance style.
I happen to like the way that I dance, and if Delinda can't appreciate that, then maybe she's not the right girl for me.
Or she could be from the planet Earth.
Oh,jokes?
Guys,we have a report that someone's being dangled off the roof?
The-the roof?
Oh,it's fine.
Don't worry about it.
Are we insured for this?
Thank you,Sam.
No,please, it was my pleasure.
Will you please come back and see me soon?
Look,I think we should settle up.
What's the damages?
Um,well,I'll send a marker to your house, and,uh,by the way, last night's on me.
Come here.
For my last night in Vegas, I'm glad I spent it with you,kid.
Oh,Wayne Newton.
Ah,the Sinatra guy looked more realistic.
Well,let's go!
Yes,sir.
So I guess you'll be setting up shop here.
No,actually.
I think I will give MIT a shot.
Really?
Putting the pimping thing on hold for a while.
No.
Just Vegas.
Way too much competition here,man.
Do you have any idea how many virgins there are at MIT?
Gonna make a killing.
Mikey.
See ya around,bro.
Smart kid.
Cold feet there,Cooper?
Well,with my father in jail, it doesn't exactly put me in the celebrating mood.
It's never too late to back out.
Yo,how you doin'?
Round of shots.
Welcome to the family, Cooper.
You know you hurt her, I'm gonna kill you.