Show: The Simpsons - 1x3
{2922}{2988}to the Springfield State Prison.
{2991}{3072}So, I want you all|to be on your best behavior, {3075}{3133}especially you, Bart Simpson.
{3135}{3219}Mrs.
Krabappel,|I didn't unlock that door.
{3268}{3402}- Uh, sorry, little dudes.
{3402}{3482}Party hardy was tardy.
{3482}{3581}- All right, children.
Count off.|- One, two, three.
{3585}{3677}- Hey, Otto.
Hey, Ottoman.|- Hey, Bart dude.
{3681}{3737}Any new tattoos, Otto?
{3741}{3797}Oh, funny|you should ask, man.
{3801}{3879}This morning I woke up|with this one.
{3881}{3954}Cool.
I want one.
{3954}{4059}Huh.
Not till you're 14,|my little friend.
{4121}{4199}Bart!
Bart Simpson!
{4232}{4292}Take your seat, Bart.
{4295}{4368}Oh, please, Mrs.
Krabappel,|not next to Wendell.
{4370}{4469}He pukes on every bus ride.|No offense, Wendell.
{4472}{4571}- Oh.|- Be that as it may,|it's the only seat left, {4573}{4634}so get in there!
{4741}{4834}Please try not|to shake the seat like that.
{4837}{4939}Now, class, remember.
Do not stick|any part of your body out the window.
{4942}{5045}We all know the tragic story|of the young man who stuck|his arm out the window...
{5045}{5131}and had it ripped off by a big truck|coming in the other direction.
{5134}{5230}And I was that boy.
{5233}{5308}Uh, Bart Simpson, sit down!
{5308}{5371}I've had just about enough|of your tomfoolery.
{5412}{5508}Oh, I don't feel so hot.
{6126}{6203}Look, there's|our school again.
{6203}{6342}- Otto, are you sure you--|- It's a shortcut, Mrs.
K.
Trust me.
{6387}{6449}Mrs.
Krabappel!|Mrs.
Krabappel!
{6449}{6563}Bart, not another word out of you, or|I'll subject you to the humiliation...
{6563}{6623}of making you sing|in front of the class.
{6625}{6691}- Can I pick the song?|- No.
{6695}{6785}The song will be|"john Henry Was a Steel Drivin' Man."
{6788}{6850}Oh, no.
{6854}{6919}We're gonna make you sing,|Bart Simpson.
{6923}{7000}Yeah, Bart Simpson,|we're gonna make you sing.
{7226}{7351}That's it, Bart.
Oh,|why can't you be more like, uh, uh-- {7354}{7521}- Us, Mrs.
Krabappel?|- Yes, Sherri and Terri.|They know how to behave.
{7558}{7632}Da, da, da, da, da, da.
Whoa!
{7635}{7701}They took Bart Simpson|to the graveyard {7701}{7768}And they buried him|in the sand {7770}{7860}Oh, yeah, and every locomotive|that comes rollin' by {7864}{7939}- Bart.
Bart!|- Says there lies a steel-drivin' man {7941}{8040}- Lord, Lord, oh, there lies a--|- Okay, Bart.
Enough!
{8044}{8127}Hey, Wendell,|you made it, buddy.
{8301}{8397}And so, this plant harnesses|the power of the atom...
{8397}{8511}so that we have the energy|to run eveything from|your favorite video game...
{8514}{8604}to yummy|cotton candy machines.
{8604}{8715}Let's learn more|about nuclear energy, shall we?
{8717}{8775}Lights.
{8888}{8960}When most people|think of nuclear energy, {8960}{9020}they think of this.
{9080}{9146}But when we talk about|nuclear energy, {9146}{9266}we really mean this.
{9269}{9341}But what exactly is|nuclear energy?
{9344}{9428}I don't know,|but I know someone who does.
{9428}{9530}-Smilin' Joe Fission.|- Hi, there, energy eaters.
{9530}{9611}I'm Smilin'joe Fission,|your atomic tour guide...
{9611}{9715}to the strange and exciting world|of nuclear power.
{9718}{9817}And these are rods|of uranium 235.
Hi, Rod.
{9817}{9888}Hi.
Hey.
Good to see ya.
{9892}{9991}-Hey, you guys look hot.|-Of course we're hot.
We're radioactive.
{9993}{10059}Uh-oh.
Well, how 'bout|a dip in the pool?
{10063}{10162}Yeah!
Last one in's the rotten rod!
{10165}{10255}The rods make the water|so hot it boils.
{10258}{10332}Ow!
Ouch!
Ow!
{10332}{10461}and the steams pins|turbines that generate energy.
{10465}{10521}Bart, sit down.
{10525}{10600}Uh-oh.
Whoops.
{10602}{10692}Looks like there's a little|leftover nuclear waste.
No problem.
{10695}{10835}I'll just put it where|nobody'll find it for a million years.
{10878}{10965}So, now you know the whole true stoy|of nuclear energy, {10965}{11025}our no longer|misunderstood friend.
{11025}{11106}So, keep on smilin'.
{11190}{11273}Now, let's have even more fun.
{11575}{11665}And, uh, over here is|our thermal regulator.
{11669}{11732}to your right,|if you look through this window, {11732}{11852}you'll see where our water rejoins|the rest of nature's biosphere.
{11953}{12098}- Hey, Bart, our dad says|your dad is incompetent.|- What does incompetent mean?
{12101}{12242}It means he spends more time|yakking and scarfing down|doughnuts than doing his job.
{12244}{12322}Oh, okay.
I thought|you were putting him down.
{12358}{12475}you know, I defy anyone|to tell the difference...
{12478}{12595}between these doughnuts|and ones baked today.
{12597}{12729}My boy's supposed to be here|any second on a field trip.|They been through here yet?
{12733}{12823}Come on, Simpson.
If they wanted|the kids to see you sitting around...
{12825}{12932}on your butt and stuffin'|your face, they'd take them|on a tour of your house.
{12936}{13033}You're right.|I gotta get where the action is.
{13033}{13092}Comin' through!
{13095}{13158}Hey, there's my dad.
{13161}{13305}Hey, Dad!
Yo, Homer!|Woo!
Woo!
I'm up here!
{13308}{13392}Oh, hi, boy!
{13623}{13739}-All right.
Who's responsible for this?
{13743}{13814}-I might have known it was you, Simpson.|-But, sir, I-- {13814}{13904}I don't want to hear about it, Simpson.|You're fired!
{13908}{13991}- Oh, hi, girls.|- Hi, Daddy.
{14425}{14497}Here's a good job|at the fireworks factory.
{14497}{14590}- Those perfectionists?
Forget it.|- How 'bout this?
{14594}{14680}Supervising technician|at the toxic waste dump.
{14683}{14794}I'm no supervising technician.|I'm a technical supervisor.
{14798}{14958}I've never done anything worthwhile in|my life.
I'm a big, worthless nothing.
{14958}{15043}There, there, Homer.|You'll find a job.
{15043}{15154}You've caused plenty|of industrial accidents,|and you've always bounced back.
{15158}{15241}- Yeah, Dad, you can do it!|- Yeah, go for it, Dad.
{15244}{15363}You're right!
I'm young, I'm|able-bodied and I'll take anything!
{15366}{15462}Watch out, Springfield.|Here I come.
{15624}{15698}Don't give up, Dad.
{15702}{15858}I'm just a technical supervisor|who cared too much.
{15861}{15936}- Moe's Tavern.|- Is Mr.
Freely there?
{15938}{16017}- Who?|- Freely.
First initials "I.P."
{16020}{16080}Hold on.
I'll check.
{16082}{16187}Uh, is I.P.Freely here?
{16187}{16304}Hey, eveybody!|I.P.Freely!
{16412}{16508}Wait a minute.|Listen to me, ya lousy bum.
{16508}{16569}- When I get a hold of you, you're dead.
{16569}{16637}I swear I'm gonna|slice your heart in half.
{16778}{16864}- You'll get that punk someday, Moe.|- Ah, I don't know.
{16868}{16952}He's tough to catch.|He keeps changing his name.
{16954}{17057}Oh, I think|I'll have another-- Oops.
{17059}{17122}Oh, I'm a little low on funds.
{17125}{17215}- Do you think you can|cover me just this once?|- No, sorry.
{17218}{17338}W-Why not?
I think after all|these years I deserve an explanation.
{17341}{17452}I don't think you're ever gonna get|another job and be able to pay me back.
{17454}{17548}- Oh.|- Don't worry.
We're still friends.
{17550}{17688}I fall to pieces {17797}{17920}- All you all right, Homer?|- I'm fine.
I'm just thinking.
{17923}{18027}Well, I've been thinking too.
{18030}{18195}you know, Homer, you've always|been such a good provider,|but when we got married, {18198}{18331}Mr.
Berger promised I could come back|to my old job anytime I wanted.
{18333}{18421}you think you can|still do that kind of work?
{18423}{18524}Sure.
You never forget.|It's just like riding a bicycle.
{18524}{18678}- Hey, Mama, where's my fries already?
{18831}{18923}Dad, eat something.|It's got mustard on it.
{19032}{19160}All he does is lie there|like an unemployed whale.
{19160}{19259}I don't know|what else to do.
{19319}{19421}There's only one thing we can do:|take advantage of the old guy.
{19421}{19523}you gotta sign my report card, Dad.
{19663}{19750}Loaf time,|the cable network for the unemployed.
{19752}{19870}We'll be back with more tips on how|to win the lottery right aftert his.
{19870}{19963}Unemployed?
Out of work?
Sober?
{19966}{20104}You sat around the house all day,|but now it's Dufftime.
{20107}{20203}Duff, the beer that makes|the days fly by.
{20205}{20293}Can't get enough|of that wonderful Duff {20295}{20418}-Duffbeer|-Beer.
Now there's a temporay solution.
{20490}{20550}There must be|some beer here somewhere.
{20554}{20610}Ah.
Maybe in here.
{20689}{20769}Damn!
I need money!
{21210}{21294}Oh, no.|What have I done?
{21294}{21407}I smashed open my little boy's|piggy bank, and for what?
{21410}{21467}A few measly cents.
{21470}{21554}Not even enough|to buy one beer.
{21557}{21704}Wait a minute.
Let me count|and make sure.
Not even close.
{21788}{21851}Dear family.
{21853}{22012}I am an utter failure,|and you'll be better off without me.
{22016}{22166}By the time you read this,|I will be in my watey grave.
{22168}{22289}I can only leave you with the words|my father gave me: {22289}{22434}"Stand tall, have courage|and never give up."
{22438}{22546}I only hope I can provide|a better model...
{22546}{22605}in death than I did|in life.
{22608}{22698}Warmest regards.
{22702}{22867}Love, Homer J.
Simpson.
{23772}{23828}Nothing's easy.
{24025}{24131}Oh, looks like young Simpson is|going to kill himself.
{24135}{24269}Well, maybe not.
Maybe he's just taking|his boulder for a walk.
{24271}{24340}Oh.
{24340}{24424}- Mom!
Mom!
Wake up!|- We've been robbed!
{24428}{24526}- What?|- Someone swiped my piggy bank!
{24529}{24598}Your father's gone too!
{24601}{24683}- Look what I found.
{24763}{24829}Almost there.
{24928}{25015}Hey, you idiot!|Watch where you're going!
{25120}{25180}Well, live and learn.
{25210}{25296}- There he is!|- Don't do it, Dad!
{25528}{25611}Boy, this intersection|is dangerous.
{25614}{25734}Someone ought to put|a stop sign here.
{25738}{25808}Oh, Homer.
{25812}{25926}How could you think|of killing yourself?
We love you.
{25929}{25995}- Yeah, Dad.
We love you.|- Yeah.
{25995}{26090}Kill myself?
Killing myselfis|the last thing I'd ever do.
{26094}{26192}Now I have a purpose,|a reason to live.
{26195}{26255}I don't care who|I have to face.
{26255}{26322}I don't care who|I have to fight.
{26324}{26471}I will not rest until|this street gets a stop sign!
{26588}{26644}Next on the agenda.|Police Chief Wiggum...
{26647}{26711}will give us an update|on our graffiti problem.
{26713}{26797}Well, it's no secret|our city is under siege...
{26801}{26887}by a graffiti vandal|known as " El Barto."
{26887}{26986}Police artists have a composite sketch|of the culprit.
{26986}{27119}If anyone has any information,|please contactus immediately.
{27121}{27211}Cool, man.
{27215}{27301}- Tough customer.|- Ooh, wouldn't want to run|into him in a dark alley.
{27301}{27451}And now, new business.|Homer Simpson, local resident,|has something.
Mr.
Simpson?
{27453}{27547}Don't be nervous.|We believe in you, Homer.
{27622}{27717}Ladies and gentlemen,|esteemed councilmen, {27721}{27856}boys and girls, retired people|with nothing better to do.
{27859}{27934}Danger comes in|many, many forms, {27936}{28101}- from dinosaurs that tormented|our caveman ancestors to the--|-Simpson, get to the point.
{28105}{28182}I think we should put a stop sign|at " D" Street and 12th.
{28182}{28242}- The other--|- All in favor?
{28242}{28302}- Aye.|- Approved.
Meeting adjourned.
{28302}{28463}- Coffee and maple logs in the lobby.|- Wow.
They listened to me.
{28467}{28542}- All right, Dad!|- Way to go, Homer.
{28542}{28641}- you did it, Homer.|- If they think I'm gonna stop|at that stop sign, {28643}{28703}they're sadly mistaken.
{29416}{29548}- Oh, Homer, I am so proud of you.|- Proud?
Proud of what?
{29552}{29668}Well, eveything.|Your dip sign, for instance.
{29671}{29776}Now people won't be caught offguard|by that little "mm-mmm" in the road.
{29780}{29857}Ah, what a great family,|but come on.
{29861}{29931}We all know|this is small potatoes.
{29931}{30064}There's a danger in this town that is|bigger than all the dips put together.
{30064}{30211}- What, Dad?|- I'm talking about that.
{30211}{30292}you don't mean you're going|to take on your old bosses.
{30294}{30382}- Wow.|- Gee, Dad's a hero.
{30384}{30448}- What'd ya say, son?|- Nothin'.
{30451}{30594}That's okay.
I'll just assume you said|what I thought I heard you say.
{30654}{30786}- He also brought you the speed bump, {30789}{30873}the dip sign, {30876}{31020}- the 15 miles per hour|speed limit on Main Street.
{31022}{31151}I give you the man whose very name|is synonymous with safety.
{31154}{31269}- Homer Simpson!|- Homer!
Homer!
{31271}{31328}Thank you.
{31331}{31445}Unlike most of you,|I am not a nut.
{31447}{31568}Just a good, honest American|who opposes wrongdoing...
{31568}{31696}and especially carelessness|wherever they occur.
{31701}{31783}Look at that man.
{31783}{31889}He has the crowd|in the palm of his hand.
{31892}{32020}Ah, haven't seen anything|like it since Jolson.
Who is he?
{32023}{32080}That's Homer Simpson, sir.
{32084}{32207}He used to work here in the plant,|but we fired him for gross incompetence.
{32209}{32299}Oh, so that's|his little game.
{32299}{32410}- Get this Simpson character|uphere right now.|- But Mr.
Burns-- {32412}{32532}I said do it!
Now do it!|Do it!
Do it!
{32536}{32701}Our lives are at the hands|of men no smarter than you or I, {32703}{32787}many of them,|incompetent boobs.
{32791}{32887}I know this because|I worked alongside them, {32887}{32946}gone bowling with them, {32946}{33069}watched them pass me over|for promotions time and again.
{33073}{33194}- And I say, this stinks!
{33198}{33324}Hey.
Hey, Simpson, Burns wants|to talk to you privately.
{33324}{33383}- Privately?|- Yes.
{33383}{33474}Stay here.|I'll be right back.
{33621}{33797}- Ah, Homer Simpson, at last we meet.|- Same here.
{33797}{33949}Simpson, I want you to rejoin|our power plant family.
{33953}{34059}- Sorry.
No can do.|- Hear me out, Simpson!
{34059}{34226}I don't want you to come back|as a technical supervisor|or supervising technician...
{34229}{34286}or whatever the hell|you used to do.
{34288}{34415}I want you to be in charge|of safety here at the plant.
{34415}{34507}Safety?
But, sir,|if truth be known, {34511}{34612}I actually caused more accidents|around here than any other employee.
{34616}{34696}There were even a few doozies|no one ever found out about.
{34699}{34786}The generous offer I'm making|is good for exactly...
{34789}{34867}30 seconds, Simpson.
{34869}{34936}Me, in charge ofsafety?
{34939}{35092}This place could blow sky high.|Nah.
I'll concentrate on my work now.
{35095}{35152}Gee, this guy's desk|sure is big.
{35155}{35234}I can't let Marge support|the family.
{35236}{35322}This guy's got the cleanest|shirt I've ever seen.
What should I-- {35322}{35379}Simpson, time's up.
{35382}{35484}- Mmm, what the hey.
I'll take the job.|- Excellent.
{35486}{35619}Your first duty will be|to step out on the balcony...
{35622}{35726}and tell that crowd|this plant is safe.
{35730}{35816}- What?|- Go on, Homer.
{35819}{35937}Homer!
Homer!|Homer!
Homer!
Homer!
{35939}{36006}- Yeah, Homer!
{36009}{36065}Go, Dad!
{36069}{36194}Ladies and gentlemen,|this plant is-- {36386}{36539}Oh, sit tight.|I'll be right back.
{36623}{36683}I can't do it, Mr.
Burns.
{36686}{36779}you mean, you're willing|to give up a good job and a raise...
{36782}{36850}just for your principles?
{36854}{36964}Mmm.
When you put it that way,|it does sound a little farfetched, {36968}{37024}but that's the lug|you're lookin' at!
{37028}{37133}And I vow to continue spending|evey free minute I have...
{37135}{37204}crusading for safety!
{37204}{37315}Of course, I'd have a lot less of those|free minutes if you gave me the job.
{37315}{37429}Mmm.
You're not as stupid|as you look or sound...
{37429}{37501}or our best|testing indicates.
{37503}{37641}- You've got the job.
Now get to work!|- I'll get to work, {37645}{37740}but first I have to say|good-bye to some friends.
{37804}{37860}- Friends, {37864}{38017}you have come to depend on me|as your safety watchdog...
{38019}{38113}so you won't scrape yourself|or stub your toes...
{38115}{38172}or blow yourselves up.
{38174}{38262}But you can't depend on me|all your life.
{38265}{38394}you have to learn that there's|a little Homer Simpson in all of us, {38396}{38507}and I'm going to have to live|without your respect and awe.
{38561}{38640}The only reason|I'm telling you this is...
{38642}{38715}I'm going to be leaving you.
{38717}{38807}- But don't worry.
{38810}{38969}I have just been appointed the new|safety inspector at this very plant...
{38969}{39092}with a big, fat raise!
{39155}{39224}Hey, that's my pop up there!|Dad, watch out!
{39299}{39355}Whoa, easy!
Don't drop me.
{39359}{39427}- Be careful.|- Homer!
Homer!
Homer!
{41333}{41393}Shh.
{2991}{3072}So, I want you all|to be on your best behavior, {3075}{3133}especially you, Bart Simpson.
{3135}{3219}Mrs.
Krabappel,|I didn't unlock that door.
{3268}{3402}- Uh, sorry, little dudes.
{3402}{3482}Party hardy was tardy.
{3482}{3581}- All right, children.
Count off.|- One, two, three.
{3585}{3677}- Hey, Otto.
Hey, Ottoman.|- Hey, Bart dude.
{3681}{3737}Any new tattoos, Otto?
{3741}{3797}Oh, funny|you should ask, man.
{3801}{3879}This morning I woke up|with this one.
{3881}{3954}Cool.
I want one.
{3954}{4059}Huh.
Not till you're 14,|my little friend.
{4121}{4199}Bart!
Bart Simpson!
{4232}{4292}Take your seat, Bart.
{4295}{4368}Oh, please, Mrs.
Krabappel,|not next to Wendell.
{4370}{4469}He pukes on every bus ride.|No offense, Wendell.
{4472}{4571}- Oh.|- Be that as it may,|it's the only seat left, {4573}{4634}so get in there!
{4741}{4834}Please try not|to shake the seat like that.
{4837}{4939}Now, class, remember.
Do not stick|any part of your body out the window.
{4942}{5045}We all know the tragic story|of the young man who stuck|his arm out the window...
{5045}{5131}and had it ripped off by a big truck|coming in the other direction.
{5134}{5230}And I was that boy.
{5233}{5308}Uh, Bart Simpson, sit down!
{5308}{5371}I've had just about enough|of your tomfoolery.
{5412}{5508}Oh, I don't feel so hot.
{6126}{6203}Look, there's|our school again.
{6203}{6342}- Otto, are you sure you--|- It's a shortcut, Mrs.
K.
Trust me.
{6387}{6449}Mrs.
Krabappel!|Mrs.
Krabappel!
{6449}{6563}Bart, not another word out of you, or|I'll subject you to the humiliation...
{6563}{6623}of making you sing|in front of the class.
{6625}{6691}- Can I pick the song?|- No.
{6695}{6785}The song will be|"john Henry Was a Steel Drivin' Man."
{6788}{6850}Oh, no.
{6854}{6919}We're gonna make you sing,|Bart Simpson.
{6923}{7000}Yeah, Bart Simpson,|we're gonna make you sing.
{7226}{7351}That's it, Bart.
Oh,|why can't you be more like, uh, uh-- {7354}{7521}- Us, Mrs.
Krabappel?|- Yes, Sherri and Terri.|They know how to behave.
{7558}{7632}Da, da, da, da, da, da.
Whoa!
{7635}{7701}They took Bart Simpson|to the graveyard {7701}{7768}And they buried him|in the sand {7770}{7860}Oh, yeah, and every locomotive|that comes rollin' by {7864}{7939}- Bart.
Bart!|- Says there lies a steel-drivin' man {7941}{8040}- Lord, Lord, oh, there lies a--|- Okay, Bart.
Enough!
{8044}{8127}Hey, Wendell,|you made it, buddy.
{8301}{8397}And so, this plant harnesses|the power of the atom...
{8397}{8511}so that we have the energy|to run eveything from|your favorite video game...
{8514}{8604}to yummy|cotton candy machines.
{8604}{8715}Let's learn more|about nuclear energy, shall we?
{8717}{8775}Lights.
{8888}{8960}When most people|think of nuclear energy, {8960}{9020}they think of this.
{9080}{9146}But when we talk about|nuclear energy, {9146}{9266}we really mean this.
{9269}{9341}But what exactly is|nuclear energy?
{9344}{9428}I don't know,|but I know someone who does.
{9428}{9530}-Smilin' Joe Fission.|- Hi, there, energy eaters.
{9530}{9611}I'm Smilin'joe Fission,|your atomic tour guide...
{9611}{9715}to the strange and exciting world|of nuclear power.
{9718}{9817}And these are rods|of uranium 235.
Hi, Rod.
{9817}{9888}Hi.
Hey.
Good to see ya.
{9892}{9991}-Hey, you guys look hot.|-Of course we're hot.
We're radioactive.
{9993}{10059}Uh-oh.
Well, how 'bout|a dip in the pool?
{10063}{10162}Yeah!
Last one in's the rotten rod!
{10165}{10255}The rods make the water|so hot it boils.
{10258}{10332}Ow!
Ouch!
Ow!
{10332}{10461}and the steams pins|turbines that generate energy.
{10465}{10521}Bart, sit down.
{10525}{10600}Uh-oh.
Whoops.
{10602}{10692}Looks like there's a little|leftover nuclear waste.
No problem.
{10695}{10835}I'll just put it where|nobody'll find it for a million years.
{10878}{10965}So, now you know the whole true stoy|of nuclear energy, {10965}{11025}our no longer|misunderstood friend.
{11025}{11106}So, keep on smilin'.
{11190}{11273}Now, let's have even more fun.
{11575}{11665}And, uh, over here is|our thermal regulator.
{11669}{11732}to your right,|if you look through this window, {11732}{11852}you'll see where our water rejoins|the rest of nature's biosphere.
{11953}{12098}- Hey, Bart, our dad says|your dad is incompetent.|- What does incompetent mean?
{12101}{12242}It means he spends more time|yakking and scarfing down|doughnuts than doing his job.
{12244}{12322}Oh, okay.
I thought|you were putting him down.
{12358}{12475}you know, I defy anyone|to tell the difference...
{12478}{12595}between these doughnuts|and ones baked today.
{12597}{12729}My boy's supposed to be here|any second on a field trip.|They been through here yet?
{12733}{12823}Come on, Simpson.
If they wanted|the kids to see you sitting around...
{12825}{12932}on your butt and stuffin'|your face, they'd take them|on a tour of your house.
{12936}{13033}You're right.|I gotta get where the action is.
{13033}{13092}Comin' through!
{13095}{13158}Hey, there's my dad.
{13161}{13305}Hey, Dad!
Yo, Homer!|Woo!
Woo!
I'm up here!
{13308}{13392}Oh, hi, boy!
{13623}{13739}-All right.
Who's responsible for this?
{13743}{13814}-I might have known it was you, Simpson.|-But, sir, I-- {13814}{13904}I don't want to hear about it, Simpson.|You're fired!
{13908}{13991}- Oh, hi, girls.|- Hi, Daddy.
{14425}{14497}Here's a good job|at the fireworks factory.
{14497}{14590}- Those perfectionists?
Forget it.|- How 'bout this?
{14594}{14680}Supervising technician|at the toxic waste dump.
{14683}{14794}I'm no supervising technician.|I'm a technical supervisor.
{14798}{14958}I've never done anything worthwhile in|my life.
I'm a big, worthless nothing.
{14958}{15043}There, there, Homer.|You'll find a job.
{15043}{15154}You've caused plenty|of industrial accidents,|and you've always bounced back.
{15158}{15241}- Yeah, Dad, you can do it!|- Yeah, go for it, Dad.
{15244}{15363}You're right!
I'm young, I'm|able-bodied and I'll take anything!
{15366}{15462}Watch out, Springfield.|Here I come.
{15624}{15698}Don't give up, Dad.
{15702}{15858}I'm just a technical supervisor|who cared too much.
{15861}{15936}- Moe's Tavern.|- Is Mr.
Freely there?
{15938}{16017}- Who?|- Freely.
First initials "I.P."
{16020}{16080}Hold on.
I'll check.
{16082}{16187}Uh, is I.P.Freely here?
{16187}{16304}Hey, eveybody!|I.P.Freely!
{16412}{16508}Wait a minute.|Listen to me, ya lousy bum.
{16508}{16569}- When I get a hold of you, you're dead.
{16569}{16637}I swear I'm gonna|slice your heart in half.
{16778}{16864}- You'll get that punk someday, Moe.|- Ah, I don't know.
{16868}{16952}He's tough to catch.|He keeps changing his name.
{16954}{17057}Oh, I think|I'll have another-- Oops.
{17059}{17122}Oh, I'm a little low on funds.
{17125}{17215}- Do you think you can|cover me just this once?|- No, sorry.
{17218}{17338}W-Why not?
I think after all|these years I deserve an explanation.
{17341}{17452}I don't think you're ever gonna get|another job and be able to pay me back.
{17454}{17548}- Oh.|- Don't worry.
We're still friends.
{17550}{17688}I fall to pieces {17797}{17920}- All you all right, Homer?|- I'm fine.
I'm just thinking.
{17923}{18027}Well, I've been thinking too.
{18030}{18195}you know, Homer, you've always|been such a good provider,|but when we got married, {18198}{18331}Mr.
Berger promised I could come back|to my old job anytime I wanted.
{18333}{18421}you think you can|still do that kind of work?
{18423}{18524}Sure.
You never forget.|It's just like riding a bicycle.
{18524}{18678}- Hey, Mama, where's my fries already?
{18831}{18923}Dad, eat something.|It's got mustard on it.
{19032}{19160}All he does is lie there|like an unemployed whale.
{19160}{19259}I don't know|what else to do.
{19319}{19421}There's only one thing we can do:|take advantage of the old guy.
{19421}{19523}you gotta sign my report card, Dad.
{19663}{19750}Loaf time,|the cable network for the unemployed.
{19752}{19870}We'll be back with more tips on how|to win the lottery right aftert his.
{19870}{19963}Unemployed?
Out of work?
Sober?
{19966}{20104}You sat around the house all day,|but now it's Dufftime.
{20107}{20203}Duff, the beer that makes|the days fly by.
{20205}{20293}Can't get enough|of that wonderful Duff {20295}{20418}-Duffbeer|-Beer.
Now there's a temporay solution.
{20490}{20550}There must be|some beer here somewhere.
{20554}{20610}Ah.
Maybe in here.
{20689}{20769}Damn!
I need money!
{21210}{21294}Oh, no.|What have I done?
{21294}{21407}I smashed open my little boy's|piggy bank, and for what?
{21410}{21467}A few measly cents.
{21470}{21554}Not even enough|to buy one beer.
{21557}{21704}Wait a minute.
Let me count|and make sure.
Not even close.
{21788}{21851}Dear family.
{21853}{22012}I am an utter failure,|and you'll be better off without me.
{22016}{22166}By the time you read this,|I will be in my watey grave.
{22168}{22289}I can only leave you with the words|my father gave me: {22289}{22434}"Stand tall, have courage|and never give up."
{22438}{22546}I only hope I can provide|a better model...
{22546}{22605}in death than I did|in life.
{22608}{22698}Warmest regards.
{22702}{22867}Love, Homer J.
Simpson.
{23772}{23828}Nothing's easy.
{24025}{24131}Oh, looks like young Simpson is|going to kill himself.
{24135}{24269}Well, maybe not.
Maybe he's just taking|his boulder for a walk.
{24271}{24340}Oh.
{24340}{24424}- Mom!
Mom!
Wake up!|- We've been robbed!
{24428}{24526}- What?|- Someone swiped my piggy bank!
{24529}{24598}Your father's gone too!
{24601}{24683}- Look what I found.
{24763}{24829}Almost there.
{24928}{25015}Hey, you idiot!|Watch where you're going!
{25120}{25180}Well, live and learn.
{25210}{25296}- There he is!|- Don't do it, Dad!
{25528}{25611}Boy, this intersection|is dangerous.
{25614}{25734}Someone ought to put|a stop sign here.
{25738}{25808}Oh, Homer.
{25812}{25926}How could you think|of killing yourself?
We love you.
{25929}{25995}- Yeah, Dad.
We love you.|- Yeah.
{25995}{26090}Kill myself?
Killing myselfis|the last thing I'd ever do.
{26094}{26192}Now I have a purpose,|a reason to live.
{26195}{26255}I don't care who|I have to face.
{26255}{26322}I don't care who|I have to fight.
{26324}{26471}I will not rest until|this street gets a stop sign!
{26588}{26644}Next on the agenda.|Police Chief Wiggum...
{26647}{26711}will give us an update|on our graffiti problem.
{26713}{26797}Well, it's no secret|our city is under siege...
{26801}{26887}by a graffiti vandal|known as " El Barto."
{26887}{26986}Police artists have a composite sketch|of the culprit.
{26986}{27119}If anyone has any information,|please contactus immediately.
{27121}{27211}Cool, man.
{27215}{27301}- Tough customer.|- Ooh, wouldn't want to run|into him in a dark alley.
{27301}{27451}And now, new business.|Homer Simpson, local resident,|has something.
Mr.
Simpson?
{27453}{27547}Don't be nervous.|We believe in you, Homer.
{27622}{27717}Ladies and gentlemen,|esteemed councilmen, {27721}{27856}boys and girls, retired people|with nothing better to do.
{27859}{27934}Danger comes in|many, many forms, {27936}{28101}- from dinosaurs that tormented|our caveman ancestors to the--|-Simpson, get to the point.
{28105}{28182}I think we should put a stop sign|at " D" Street and 12th.
{28182}{28242}- The other--|- All in favor?
{28242}{28302}- Aye.|- Approved.
Meeting adjourned.
{28302}{28463}- Coffee and maple logs in the lobby.|- Wow.
They listened to me.
{28467}{28542}- All right, Dad!|- Way to go, Homer.
{28542}{28641}- you did it, Homer.|- If they think I'm gonna stop|at that stop sign, {28643}{28703}they're sadly mistaken.
{29416}{29548}- Oh, Homer, I am so proud of you.|- Proud?
Proud of what?
{29552}{29668}Well, eveything.|Your dip sign, for instance.
{29671}{29776}Now people won't be caught offguard|by that little "mm-mmm" in the road.
{29780}{29857}Ah, what a great family,|but come on.
{29861}{29931}We all know|this is small potatoes.
{29931}{30064}There's a danger in this town that is|bigger than all the dips put together.
{30064}{30211}- What, Dad?|- I'm talking about that.
{30211}{30292}you don't mean you're going|to take on your old bosses.
{30294}{30382}- Wow.|- Gee, Dad's a hero.
{30384}{30448}- What'd ya say, son?|- Nothin'.
{30451}{30594}That's okay.
I'll just assume you said|what I thought I heard you say.
{30654}{30786}- He also brought you the speed bump, {30789}{30873}the dip sign, {30876}{31020}- the 15 miles per hour|speed limit on Main Street.
{31022}{31151}I give you the man whose very name|is synonymous with safety.
{31154}{31269}- Homer Simpson!|- Homer!
Homer!
{31271}{31328}Thank you.
{31331}{31445}Unlike most of you,|I am not a nut.
{31447}{31568}Just a good, honest American|who opposes wrongdoing...
{31568}{31696}and especially carelessness|wherever they occur.
{31701}{31783}Look at that man.
{31783}{31889}He has the crowd|in the palm of his hand.
{31892}{32020}Ah, haven't seen anything|like it since Jolson.
Who is he?
{32023}{32080}That's Homer Simpson, sir.
{32084}{32207}He used to work here in the plant,|but we fired him for gross incompetence.
{32209}{32299}Oh, so that's|his little game.
{32299}{32410}- Get this Simpson character|uphere right now.|- But Mr.
Burns-- {32412}{32532}I said do it!
Now do it!|Do it!
Do it!
{32536}{32701}Our lives are at the hands|of men no smarter than you or I, {32703}{32787}many of them,|incompetent boobs.
{32791}{32887}I know this because|I worked alongside them, {32887}{32946}gone bowling with them, {32946}{33069}watched them pass me over|for promotions time and again.
{33073}{33194}- And I say, this stinks!
{33198}{33324}Hey.
Hey, Simpson, Burns wants|to talk to you privately.
{33324}{33383}- Privately?|- Yes.
{33383}{33474}Stay here.|I'll be right back.
{33621}{33797}- Ah, Homer Simpson, at last we meet.|- Same here.
{33797}{33949}Simpson, I want you to rejoin|our power plant family.
{33953}{34059}- Sorry.
No can do.|- Hear me out, Simpson!
{34059}{34226}I don't want you to come back|as a technical supervisor|or supervising technician...
{34229}{34286}or whatever the hell|you used to do.
{34288}{34415}I want you to be in charge|of safety here at the plant.
{34415}{34507}Safety?
But, sir,|if truth be known, {34511}{34612}I actually caused more accidents|around here than any other employee.
{34616}{34696}There were even a few doozies|no one ever found out about.
{34699}{34786}The generous offer I'm making|is good for exactly...
{34789}{34867}30 seconds, Simpson.
{34869}{34936}Me, in charge ofsafety?
{34939}{35092}This place could blow sky high.|Nah.
I'll concentrate on my work now.
{35095}{35152}Gee, this guy's desk|sure is big.
{35155}{35234}I can't let Marge support|the family.
{35236}{35322}This guy's got the cleanest|shirt I've ever seen.
What should I-- {35322}{35379}Simpson, time's up.
{35382}{35484}- Mmm, what the hey.
I'll take the job.|- Excellent.
{35486}{35619}Your first duty will be|to step out on the balcony...
{35622}{35726}and tell that crowd|this plant is safe.
{35730}{35816}- What?|- Go on, Homer.
{35819}{35937}Homer!
Homer!|Homer!
Homer!
Homer!
{35939}{36006}- Yeah, Homer!
{36009}{36065}Go, Dad!
{36069}{36194}Ladies and gentlemen,|this plant is-- {36386}{36539}Oh, sit tight.|I'll be right back.
{36623}{36683}I can't do it, Mr.
Burns.
{36686}{36779}you mean, you're willing|to give up a good job and a raise...
{36782}{36850}just for your principles?
{36854}{36964}Mmm.
When you put it that way,|it does sound a little farfetched, {36968}{37024}but that's the lug|you're lookin' at!
{37028}{37133}And I vow to continue spending|evey free minute I have...
{37135}{37204}crusading for safety!
{37204}{37315}Of course, I'd have a lot less of those|free minutes if you gave me the job.
{37315}{37429}Mmm.
You're not as stupid|as you look or sound...
{37429}{37501}or our best|testing indicates.
{37503}{37641}- You've got the job.
Now get to work!|- I'll get to work, {37645}{37740}but first I have to say|good-bye to some friends.
{37804}{37860}- Friends, {37864}{38017}you have come to depend on me|as your safety watchdog...
{38019}{38113}so you won't scrape yourself|or stub your toes...
{38115}{38172}or blow yourselves up.
{38174}{38262}But you can't depend on me|all your life.
{38265}{38394}you have to learn that there's|a little Homer Simpson in all of us, {38396}{38507}and I'm going to have to live|without your respect and awe.
{38561}{38640}The only reason|I'm telling you this is...
{38642}{38715}I'm going to be leaving you.
{38717}{38807}- But don't worry.
{38810}{38969}I have just been appointed the new|safety inspector at this very plant...
{38969}{39092}with a big, fat raise!
{39155}{39224}Hey, that's my pop up there!|Dad, watch out!
{39299}{39355}Whoa, easy!
Don't drop me.
{39359}{39427}- Be careful.|- Homer!
Homer!
Homer!
{41333}{41393}Shh.