Show: Psych - 1x14
I'll raise.
I've got a good feeling about this hand.
Too rich for me.
Fold.
Big surprise, rookie.
That's all you ever do, is fold.
Call.
What do you say to that, big shot ?
I say...
The last card didn't make Mr.
O'Grady's flush, And mr.
Duritz was smart to fold, because he missed his straight...
And you, Mr.
Hastings, your cards just stink.
You're bluffing.
I call.
Two pair, jacks and sevens.
Oh, damn !
Every time.
You'd think we'd know better by now.
What the hell is going on here ?
Poker, shawn?
Poker?
What were you thinking?
I don't know.
I get bored waiting.
Why didn't you just say so ?
I mean, if you're bored, I guess it's okay.
What is wrong with you ?
How do you even know how to play poker?
Mr.
Hastings taught me.
Hastings, huh?
I want it to stop.
You understand, no more poker.
No more gambling.
You're too young.
Dad, I don't gamble.
I win.
You win ?
And approximately how often do you lose ?
I don't know.
You don't know ?
Well, I haven't lost yet.
How...
how...
how much did you win ?
Is that it?
All right, son, listen to me.
Just because you can do something doesn't always mean that you should do it.
Do you understand what i'm saying?
No.
Hey, that's mine!
Not anymore.
Yes, it is !
Uh-Uh, no.
No, no, no, I'm giving it away.
I'm giving it away.
Why ?
Because I can, And according to your little philosophy, your poker philosophy, If I can, then I should.
Right ?
I know it might seem like you're going to win every time, shawn, but...
no matter how good you are, there's always somebody who's better, And there's one rule in gambling...
The house always wins.
Eventually.
Do you understand what I'm saying ?
Don't gamble ?
Not for money.
I got 10 bucks says you can't make this shot.
Gus, I can't take your money.
That's right, because you can't make the shot.
I could easily make the shot, which is why Ican't take your money.
There's no sport in it.
I say you're all mouth.
I'm all mouth ?
Yup.
All right.
Sail straight, my precious.
Okay.
Double ot nothing.
Trivia question this time.
History...
Grover Cleveland.
Damn !
How do you do that ?
It's the sweetness.
So...
this is how you spend your days.
Oh, my god.
Dad...
what are you doing here ?
Nice.
Is that the way you greet all the people that come through your door ?
That's exactly how I greet everyone.
Maybe that's why business is down.
Are you going to invite me in ?
Yeah, please...
Whoa !
This could be a trick.
What's the rule with vampires ?
Don't they have to be invited in ?
What are you talking about, Shawn ?
Gus, you've seen lost boys 14 times.
What's the rule ?
You're on your own.
Is this is all there is ?
Actually, this is the satellite office.
Main headquarters is in an underground ice cave gus and I sculpted last winter.
What about your license ?
My pilot's license ?
It's out back in the CESSNA, Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill.
Revoked.
Problems at the kazakhstan border.
I could give details, but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.
I'm talking about your private eye license.
What, you need one, don't you ?
Psychics are exempt from the requirements.
Oh, well, Hooray for loopholes.
A little dark.
Could use a couple more lamps.
You're probably killing your eyes.
That outlet...
looks a little overloaded.
That plasma...
you'd probably do better by putting it on that wall.
You'd have less glare coming in through the window in the afternoon...
You know, dad, I really appreciate you making the long drive down to feng shui it up sweet for us, But we're kind of in the middle of something here.
What would that be, shawn ?
Would that be NBA...
garbage can hoops, Or trivia super-challenge ?
Believe it or not, we have an 11:00.
So maybe we should wrap this up.
Ah, it's a little too late for that, Shawn.
I am your 11:00.
www.seriessub.com O/~ i know you know that i'm not telling the truth o/~ O/~ i know you know they just don't have any proof o/~ O/~ embrace the deception o/~ O/~ learn how to bend o/~ O/~ your worst inhibitions o/~ O/~ they will psych you out in the end o/~ Synchro: B@ss.
Bill Peterson.
He owns peterson motors.
I met him about 20 years ago when I grabbed a couple of punks boosting tires off of his lot.
Shawn, shouldn't you be writing some of this down ?
Why would I do that ?
Will there be a quiz ?
Would you shut up and pay attention ?
I got a call from him yesterday.
He's got a kid.
Brandon.
He's just a little younger than you.
He thinks his son might be mixed up in something.
Like what ?
He'll fill you in when he gets here.
The point is, he doesn't want cops involved, so he called me.
And you said...
I said I'm retired, And he should definitely involve the cops.
Sweet.
You came all the way here to tell us that.
Awesome.
No, Shawn.
He doesn't want his son in trouble, and I might have mentioned...
to Peterson, accidentally, that you...
you might be able to help.
Whoa, time out.
Flag on the play.
Did you vouch for me ?
No, I wouldn't say I exactly vouched for you.
Gus, Henry vouched for me...
I did not vouch for you.
You were bragging on me.
You have a dad-crush on me.
Shawn, I was not bragging on you.
I merely restated stats about your track record that are in the newspaper.
Let's hug it out.
Put your arms down.
Give me hug.
No, I'm not going to give you a...
If I had known that Peterson was going to insist on hiring you, I would have blasted your character outright, And I would have mentioned your unnatural fear of pointy things.
Distaste for pointy things.
Please, just do me this one favor.
Would you listen to the man's story, Tell him you can't help, Send him to the cops, and whatever you do, Don't do it with all that rolling your eyes around and all that...
floppy crap.
Jesus...
first of all, I don't flop around all the time, okay ?
My game is predicated on finesse.
How dare you criticise my job.
He's here.
He's here.
Don't tell him I came by.
Do you got a back way out this place ?
You came through it.
Oh, right.
Excuse me.
Are you Shawn ?
Yes, that's correct, Mr.
Peterson.
Wow, that is my name.
Don't be too impressed, Bill.
I could've gotten that information anywhere.
After all, Peterson Motors is gigantic.
Yeah, well, I'm suitably impressed.
Don't be.
Burton Guster.
Pleasure to meet you.
Look, I'll get right to it.
I have a son, Brandon.
Up until a few weeks ago, he worked for me.
Now he's disappeared.
What happened a few weeks ago ?
I fired him.
He was lazy, directionless.
I thought I could get him to buckle down, focus in on something.
How did that go ?
Well, he's been evicted from his apartment, his cellphone's been cut off, And he forged a check from my account to the tune of $30,000.
I need to find my son.
Can you help me ?
Well, Mr.
Peterson, this sounds like a case for the police.
Let me get you a number...
Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.
What ?
This is precisely what we do here, sir.
We find people.
We'll find your Brandon.
Okay, make sure we are not disturbed.
I need five minutes uninterrupted.
Make sure no one comes in.
Yeah.
What's with all the secrecy, O'hara ?
I've got a real mindbender.
Problem with the railway theft ?
No...
it's a detective.
Is this something for internal affairs ?
It's detective lassiter.
What's the problem with our head detective ?
Well, it's his birthday.
Oh, that's not a problem.
Yeah, it is.
He seems quiet.
He is quiet.
That's who he is.
O'hara I think it's nice that you care for your partner, but he's a grown man.
He'll be fine.
I just thought it would be nice to surprise him.
Oh...
detective Lassiter does not like surprises.
Of course he likes surprises.
Everybody likes surprises.
Detective Lassiter has a very particular comfort zone, and you don't even want to know what we now call the "Secret Santa Debacle of 2005."
I just...
wanted to do something nice for him, but nobody seems to know what he likes.
Well, you're his partner.
Shouldn't you know ?
Well, we don't really talk.
I mean, he doesn't.
He...
nods and responds, mostly...
never really poses a question.
Although, sometimes he asks if...
we can ride in silence.
O'hara...
your heart is in the right place, But I am very sure you will have to do this yourself.
Okay, fine.
Shawn, what are we doing here ?
Gus, let me ask you something.
When's the last time you were evicted from your apartment ?
Never.
Exactly.
You wouldn't understand.
This is my world.
So the landlord keeps Brandon's stuff as collateral.
Brandon comes back, landlord gets paid.
Brandon doesn't, there's a garage sale.
Well, the buzzer upstairs says that his is 227.
227 ?
Marla Gibbs.
Regina king.
Jackee.
Hal williams.
Hal williams ?
Hal williams as Lester Jenkins.
Looks like somebody took a screwdriver to this thing.
Let me see.
Okay, so Brandon needed something inside here, but he couldn't get in.
If you were in his shoes, what would you do next ?
First of all, I'd feel...
Tell me about it.
But then...
I think I'd come back with some scissors.
Let's see if we can find what he was reaching for.
Here.
My reach is better.
Excuse me.
What ?
When exactly did we have a...
It has always been better.
But my arms are slenderer.
Slenderer ?
What ?
Slenderer...
Skinnier ?
Yes.
You know what ?
You're right.
My biceps probably wouldn't fit through this thing anyway.
I knew you'd fall for that.
let's see...
Final notice.
Final notice.
Final notice, plus an eviction ?
Gosh, this kid has some serious cash-flow problems.
No wonder why he stole from his pops.
What do you got?
A bunch of pawn shops.
Whoa, wait a second.
If you're a guy with an apartment, what's the one thing you definitely don't have ?
I don't know, a horse ?
A horse, that's true !
Answer we were looking for was yard or garden.
I would have accepted both yard...
and garden...
I was joking.
So if you're a guy without a yard or garden, why would you have a business card for a garden supply store ?
What is R,R,L,R,L,L ?
Rrl..
Rll...
Of course, "rrila rilla."
No, no.
Rrl...
rll...
what does it mean ?
We should probably figure that out, huh ?
You think ?
How long are we going to sit here ?
Brandon might not even show up.
When I suggested we do a stakeout, You were like, "No, no.
We need to do something active."
I am doing something active.
What ?
I'm preparing to try and enjoy this chalupa.
Odd.
No, what's odd is the customers that keep driving into this place.
Look at these cars.
They're ridiculous.
They're all fancy and whatnot.
Not exactly what you would use to pick up shrubs and fertilizer.
Let's see what these people are up to.
Let's go.
Wrong turn.
What the...
dude...
it's a maze.
What is R,R,L,R,L,L ?
Shawn, what are you doing ?
Right, left, right...
dude, the letters on the back of that card were directions.
Follow me.
Right.
Rrl...
rl...
Rrl...
Sh-Shawn...
left...
left...
whoa, wait a second, wait a second.
Maybe we should take a peek and see what we're getting into, Shawn.
Oh, you know what this is, Shawn ?
It's one of those underground poker games.
My poker buddies talk about them.
Since when do you have poker buddies ?
My online poker buddies, Shawn.
I'm good.
I'm up $7 million.
You have $7 million, and you failed to mention it until just now ?
It's not real money, Shawn.
That's illegal.
Rough luck there, again, huh ?
Yeah, a bit of bad luck.
Dude, you should get in this game.
How ?
These games are tight.
You got to know somebody to get in.
Oh, we'll just throw Brandon's name around.
Maybe they'll let us in.
Uh, yeah, one more hand, I'll get it.
It's not working out for you today, is it ?
Not right now.
Come on.
Why don't you stand up here ?
I'm just...
come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Just relax, now.
Put your hand up like this.
Why ?
Just hold it up.
There you go.
Now, maybe next time, you won't force me into such a barbaric form of retribution...
Good news.
There appears to be a seat opening up.
Still, I think our best course of action would be to...
Get the hell out of here.
Go, go, go, go !
I want you to know I cannot hear anything you say !
Shawn, what the hell is going on ?
What the...
Shawn what are you doing ?
It's his ongoing sensory-deprivation experiment, sharpening one sense by denying others.
In this case, he can't hear, which amplifies his sense of smell.
Amazing.
That's one word for it.
I need complete and utter silence.
What do you need silence for Shawn, if you can't hear anything ?
Please, Henry, let the boy work.
I smell chips !
Potato !
Pot-Ah-To !
Let's call the whole thing off.
Mr.
Peterson, I want you to grab my arm.
Both hands, like you're doing a pull-up.
Feel the burn.
I will now become a conduit to your son's thoughts.
Please, clear your mind and your nasal passages.
Think of nothing but Brandon and those chips.
Gus, present spuds.
I'm getting something.
It's not clear...
that's a shocker.
I'm wrong !
It's not potato !
Gus, lose the spuds !
Chips...
Ponch !
John !
Striker !
Cracker !
Poker !
Poker ?
I hardly know her !
Shawn...
poker chips !
What the hell do poker chips smell like, Shawn ?
They smell like butterflies.
Poker chips...
and playing cards !
What ?
What about the poker chips and the playing cards ?
Oh, gus, it burns !
The link...
has been broken.
I'll have to read the cards, See what they say.
Shawn...
there's your son.
Notice there are no diamonds around him.
Well, diamonds represent wealth.
So brandon lost his wealth playing poker ?
That's correct, Gus.
Well, what do all these clubs around him mean, Shawn ?
Clubs...
clubs are like...
clover.
He's been playing poker in a garden...
with this guy.
We need a name.
Has he mentioned any of the guys he plays poker with ?
Dumbluck2.
That was his online screen name.
I kept seeing it on his computer when he was supposed to be working.
Dumbluck2.
Here, you can have Brandon.
Thanks.
Hello ?
Hi.
Mrs.
Lassiter ?
Yes.
Who is this ?
What do you want ?
It's about your son...
Oh, no !
It's the phone call !
Oh, no, no, no, no, it's not that.
Well, then, who the hell are you ?
I'm his partner.
But...
you're a woman.
Yes.
Shocking, isn't it ?
What are you, fulfilling a quota ?
If you get him shot...
I'm not getting him shot.
I just need to ask a few personal questions.
Personal questions ?
You're not a cop.
This is some kind of internet scam, isn't it ?
You'll want my social security number next, right ?
Well, suck lemons, cookiepuss.
You're getting nothing out of me.
No.
No, no, no.
It's just...
it's his birthday.
It's coming up, and I...
Who told you that ?
Excuse me ?
Booker doesn't celebrate his birthdays.
Booker ?
Dammit !
Ooh, you're good, trickypants.
Well, I just want you to know This phone call is now being recorded.
I just need some inside information because I want to surprise him.
Why are you asking me ?
Why don't you ask his wife ?
I didn't exactly think that was appropriate with them being separated and all.
They're what ?
Nothing.
My son is separated ?
No...
I mean, I don't know.
Please don't tell him that you know.
Please don't tell him that I told you.
I really...
I had no idea.
Can we please just pretend this conversation never happened ?
Hello ?
Lassiter.
Mother ?
What ?
What do you mean you want your wedding ring back ?
What are you doing ?
I'm playing online poker, Shawn.
I knew I knew that name.
Dumbluck2.
I've played Brandon before.
Right here, and I beat him.
I figured I'd hang out, see if he logs on.
Looks like a full house, huh ?
How did you know that ?
You went...
I don't do that, Shawn.
I didn't do that.
Two pair.
I'd call, and raise.
You're sitting on pocket rockets.
You won't do better than that.
Seriously, how do you do that ?
Good thing you're not a real poker player.
You'd lose more money than Brandon.
I am a stellar player, Shawn.
And don't think...
Wait a second.
What?
He's on now.
Brandon.
Great.
Bring him in.
Bring him in how ?
Say "hey, Brandon, your dad's looking for you" Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
Here.
Time out.
What ?
You're bigkitty75 ?
Yeah.
As in, "the kitty," you know ? "
The pot."
The kitty?
Yes.
75.
74 other bigkittys came before you ?
Yes, shawn, there were 74 of them.
All right.
All right.
Does kitty have a profile ?
It's bigkitty, and, no, I don't.
Perfect.
Scoot over.
Give me some room to operate here.
What are you doing ?
I'm baiting the hook.
Baiting the hook ?
How ?
You can't do this, Shawn.
This is my account.
Relax.
You don't have a profile.
They don't know if bigkitty's I'm a man !
The players I play poker with, chat with, know that I'm a man, Shawn !
That's funny, because it appears brandon thinks you're a...
A cheerleader ? "
Where does a girl go around here for fun and games ?"
Stop it, shawn !
I can't transfer my bank.
I have seven million bucks.
Oh, what's my name ?
Oh, I don't know.
Shawn...
bigkitty75...
Shawn...
you know, kitty, the kitty, kittycat, feline.
Felicia.
Felicia Fancybottom ?
What am I, a James Bond villain ?
Look, he's inviting us into a private chat.
Don't do it, Shawn.
I'm telling you, don't do it.
Buy me a drink ?
I think that question's for you, Felicia. "
Where ?"
Well, I don't know.
I can't...
where do you go to hook up with dudes you meet online ?
That's not funny, Shawn. "
Coffee with attitude" coffeehouse. "
Bring a flower ?"
What do you think ?
Poinsettia ?
That's a plant, not a flower, And it's out of season.
Perfect.
We'll see just how badly he wants to impress Big Felicia Fancybottom.
Ah, he's punctual.
I like that in a date.
Whoa, guys, I'm expecting somebody, actually.
We know Felicia.
Yeah, how do you know...
She's not coming, is she ?
He's felicia.
And I'm felicia.
Great.
Yeah, I knew it.
All hot internet women are guys.
Of course, you're two guys, which makes it doubly weird.
Sorry, brandon, but your dad's looking for you.
That's the rub.
He hired us.
Oh, yeah ?
Well, the joke's on you, because I'm out of here.
Hey, we just want to talk !
What's going on ?
You know these guys ?
Hey, relax, Brandon and I are friends.
I just want to talk to him for a minute.
So how's it going ?
You good ?
Yeah...
Just so you don't forget...
you have until monday.
You were saying ?
Well, it looks like your dad's not the only one who's looking for you, huh ?
All right, look.
You guys have got to give me a break, okay ?
I stole $30,000 from my dad and then lost it, and more, To that jerk J.P.
Berger.
So I can't go home, not until I win enough to pay everybody back.
What did he say ?
You've got till monday ?
Yeah, he did, but, see, the thing is, I'm a better player than he is.
I am much better.
And yet he bent you over his knee and spanked you in front of the whole class.
But he shouldn't have.
I just...
I just got to figure out how he did it.
Look, Brandon, it's simple.
You go to your dad and convince him to give you your job back, And then figure out a way to pay Berger back his money.
That sounds really great, But guys I can't go back to work for my dad.
Nothing I do is ever good enough for that man.
Nothing is right.
You...
you have no idea what that's like.
Look...
here's some brutal truth.
We're the only reasons you're not in jail Or worse.
Your dad's done.
It took someone cashing in a very old favor to get us involved at all.
You will not gonna be able to play your way out of this hole, baby boy, So pack it in.
Pull the plug.
Shut it down.
Leave the dead meat in the freezer and put on your sunday best, because it's arbor day, baby.
Okay, fair enough.
Let's get this over with.
Take me to my father.
What did I tell you ?
Morning till night.
The old man never stops selling.
Some advice ?
Yeah, sure.
When you owe a man $30,000, I'd be careful about criticizing his work ethic.
That's a good point.
You want us to come with you ?
No.
No, you know what ?
I screwed up on my own, I am going to face him on my own.
That's very Cameron Fry of you.
Cameron who ?
Wow, are we that much older than you ?
What's that ?
That's nothing.
It's a good luck charm.
I mean, it used to be...
but you know what?
Here.
I don't need it.
I've given up cards.
I got no use for it.
Whoa...
no, thanks.
I'm not really a jewelry guy.
Gus here is.
No, I'm not.
Sure you are.
Right.
Let's get this over with, right ?
Trying to pass that thing off to me ?
You liked it.
You like the sweet turquoise.
So you're telling me that you've been working with him for 15 years, But you have no idea what kind of food he likes?
He orders separate when we get take-out.
Something about poison.
What are you doing?
Looking.
For what ?
A mint.
I'm allergic to mint.
What ?
Nothing.
I'm just happy.
Now I know you don't like mint.
Well, well...
don't you look like hell.
I know I look like hell, dad.
Everyone who gets up at this hour looks like hell, With the possible exception of Matt Lauer and Diane Lane.
Mr.
Peterson.
How are you, sir ?
Something wrong ?
No, no, Shawn, everything is great.
That's why I woke your ass up, So Bill and I could tell you how...
terrific everything is.
It's Brandon.
Brandon ?
He seemed fine when we dropped him off yesterday.
Maybe a little nervous...
Wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You found him ?
Well, yeah, we did.
When was this ?
Yesterday.
I'm sorry, sir.
I should've told you.
It was right before closing.
We could clearly see you from gus' car, And he said he wanted to come in by himself, and do this...
man to man, you know ?
Just you and him.
He didn't come in ?
You never saw him ?
Oh, we saw him, all right.
I got the reunion right here.
You want to see it ?
There he is.
There's my boy.
Guess he couldn't face me, so he waited till after I went home.
Not the safe.
He's breaking into your safe ?
Breaking in ?
No...
he didn't have to break in.
He's too smart for that.
He knows the combination.
There you have it.
Not quite the reunion I imagined.
So, tell me, psychic...
where's my son now ?
Something's bothering me, dude.
I'm never wrong.
You're always wrong.
What are you talking about ?
This kid should be a better poker player.
Gus that was a pretty good bluff.
Oh, dude, look.
What?
Right there, that necklace thing.
That's horrible.
He wears his ridiculous good luck charm into battle The way that superman wears his cape or Rocky Balboa wears his belt.
I...
I bet you he's on his way back to the maze to take on Berger.
No, berger won't be at the lawn and garden center.
Not this weekend.
Why not ?
There's a tournament.
Winner gets a buy-in to the world poker derby.
You know where that is ?
Of course I do.
Oh...
It's flipping !
Oh, it wants to flip.
Oh, it wants to flap !
Dad !
T.
P.
Toilet paper...
no...
Teri Polo...
Shawn...
T.
P.
Teepee...
teepee with a chimmy.
Chimmy...
chimichanga...
chimichanga.
Chaka khan.
Chaka khan, chaka khan.
Chimichanga, Chachanga ?
Chachanga !
That's it.
You say tomato, I say to-mah-to.
Chachanga.
The indian casino ?
Cha-Ching.
Dammit.
You were right, Henry.
How's that?
Maybe getting...
the police involved is the only way to get his attention.
May I have that DVD, please ?
no.
Excuse me ?
Shawn...
not yet.
Why ?
Let's give him another chance.
I'm sensing there's more to this story, sir.
He's actually a pretty good poker player...
I'm getting a very, very strong psychic vibration...
He's going to lose.
Big.
Not with my money, he's not.
Let's go.
We're out of here.
No, no, dad, I can't.
Would you rather I call the police, show them a certain video of you looting my safe ?
I'm sorry about all that...
No, Brandon, let's go.
No, dad, dad, I'm in more trouble here than you think.
I'm already in, And there don't give refunds here.
Fine.
I'll play.
You ?
You know actually, sir, this is your call.
I work for you.
But keep in mind that I am a psychic, and unlike any of these other players, I come with a money-back guarantee.
What do you think, Henry ?
Can he win ?
Dad, I don't gamble.
I win.
Yeah.
He can win.
So, what's the deal ?
Shawn and Berger drew opposite tables.
The only way for him to face Berger is if he beats everyone at his table, Makes it to the finals, and wins.
Check.
That must be rough.
Sorry ?
You picked the wrong week to quit smoking, dude.
There's a tournament happening here.
What are you talking about ?
What is this about, this is about your lady friend ?
Your special girl back home ?
She doesn't like it ?
Look at the cards, guys, huh ?
Lot of possibilities on the table right now.
Lot of possibilities.
50,000.
Midnight Oil says no !
No !
Call.
Action.
Action in my fanny pack.
All right, I'll call you both.
You didn't catch your straight, did you ?
100,000.
Fold.
You let me down, you let me down.
Ronnie !
What ?
This can be your time.
Right here, right now.
You think you can mess with my head, too ?
Here's the thing.
I'm psychic.
So if I had to guess, which I don't, I'd say yes.
Yes, I can mess with your head, and I can put an entire sandwich in your hair.
Well, you know what ?
I'm not playing with a psychic.
It's against the rules.
Against the rules...
No, guys, guys, I checked the rule book.
I looked in the index under "P".
It mentioned polygamy, pancakes, and pterodactyls.
Who knew pterodactyls started with a "P" ?
I bet you did.
You did.
It's not against the rules, Ronnie.
It's cool.
No, it's not cool.
Look at your stack, man.
Everything's here.
Everything's here.
I need you here.
Take a risk, man.
Bluff it up.
I'll raise you 200,000.
You just bluffed to prove to me that you could bluff.
Ronnie...
I call this move...
the all in.
Ronnie, with the origami.
Center table showdown, Shawn Spencer and J.P.
Berger.
All in.
All in ?
Yeah, but he shouldn't have...
I just got to figure out how he did it.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
The chips demand we stop the game.
What the hell is going on here ?
I can't hear them if you're talking, Berger.
What ?
Really ?
You guys sure about this ?
Chips say you're a cheater, cheater, pumpkin-eater.
Is that right ?
Yeah.
How do you know that ?
We're really supposed to believe that you're psychic or something ?
If you were psychic, I wouldn't be cleaning your clock right now.
Cleaning my clock ?
What does that mean, Berger ?
What, you'd take time out of your day to clean another man's timepiece ?
And if so, that would be a bad thing ?
No, I would be gracious.
I would say, "J.P, dude...
thanks for spritzing my watch."
Besides, it doesn't matter.
Doesn't take a psychic to figure out that these cards are marked.
You know, if you had been paying attention, You'd realize that the decks were all sealed.
He's saying the decks are sealed.
What do you got for me ?
Well, come on, guys, speed it up.
Check the...
for shame.
You dirty filthy rascal with the suede, suede head.
Face card, face card.
Well, how's that possible ?
These are brand-new decks.
We got spotters on every table.
But you didn't check...
your dealers.
Okay, I'm on the dealer.
What do you got for me ?
Hair clip!
Hair clip, of course.
You...
you stand up.
I'm sorry.
Hold on a s...
Oh my, there's some kind of a invisible ink on this hair clip, and every time she fussed with her ponytail and I think we can all agree it's a fetching tail, It's a silky tail...
She got the ink on her fingers, And then she put her fingers on the cards, And then her special partner with his special rose-colored glasses Could see that everything is turning up faces.
All right, put a hold on all of these chips here.
Take these two into custody until we sort this out.
This is ridic...
You're ridiculous.
For shame.
That is...
So much money.
I'll, uh...
I'll let you guys...
make it right.
Well, now I know why I always lost to Berger.
It wasn't me.
But, um...
it was me...
stealing from you, lying to you, and...
dad, for that, I really am sorry.
Well, I appreciate the apology, son, But you gonna have to do a lot more than that to earn my trust back.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr.
Peterson.
No, thank you...
No, seriously, thank you.
Thank you.
Shut up.
Okay.
Dude, $7,500 ?
Peterson is a generous man.
This is our most profitable case ever.
I know, I got plans.
Pay off the flatscreen, Consolidate our loans, And pay off the bulk in a lump sum.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, or...
What ?
We double up, right here, right now.
What ?
Come on, Gus.
Think about it.
Seriously, 15 large ?
What are you talking about ?
Shawn.
We could go to aruba...
Shawn...
Shawn...
Cozumel, Ibiza...
It's "ibitha."
Dude, we could rent a jet to ibitha.
Don't even think about it.
Rule number one of gambling...
Do not think.
That's not a rule, Shawn.
Rule number two...
Always bet on black.
Money plays.
Isn't that right, steve ?
Look, I told you, that's why I don't gamble.
Shut up, shawn.
What did wesley say in passenger 57...
I don't want to talk about it.
He said, "always bet on black".
That's what I did !
Yeah...
here you go.
They're cold.
Lassiter leads a really different private life.
Yeah...
I mean, who would've thought he's into bikes.
I guess...
Hi.
Some of these people look really familiar.
Yeah, I know, to me, too, but...
I haven't had a chance to talk to any of them yet...
I see his car.
I see his car.
Oh, everybody, hide !
Hide !
What the hell ?
Surprise!
No, no, it's okay.
Oh, my gosh, no, no, no, no !
Carlton.
Hey, it's a party.
It's a party.
It's what ?
For your birthday.
Surprise !
Why are these people at my house ?
They're your friends.
No, they're not.
Yeah, they are.
I got them out of your address book.
You took my book ?
Yes, I admit it.
I opened your desk.
I didn't want to load you up with a bunch of work people, So I just invited the ones with stars by their names.
These are all people I put in jail.
The stars are repeat offenders.
You keep a little black book of people you've arrested ?
Of course I do.
Why ?
To drive by and check on them.
I've got a good feeling about this hand.
Too rich for me.
Fold.
Big surprise, rookie.
That's all you ever do, is fold.
Call.
What do you say to that, big shot ?
I say...
The last card didn't make Mr.
O'Grady's flush, And mr.
Duritz was smart to fold, because he missed his straight...
And you, Mr.
Hastings, your cards just stink.
You're bluffing.
I call.
Two pair, jacks and sevens.
Oh, damn !
Every time.
You'd think we'd know better by now.
What the hell is going on here ?
Poker, shawn?
Poker?
What were you thinking?
I don't know.
I get bored waiting.
Why didn't you just say so ?
I mean, if you're bored, I guess it's okay.
What is wrong with you ?
How do you even know how to play poker?
Mr.
Hastings taught me.
Hastings, huh?
I want it to stop.
You understand, no more poker.
No more gambling.
You're too young.
Dad, I don't gamble.
I win.
You win ?
And approximately how often do you lose ?
I don't know.
You don't know ?
Well, I haven't lost yet.
How...
how...
how much did you win ?
Is that it?
All right, son, listen to me.
Just because you can do something doesn't always mean that you should do it.
Do you understand what i'm saying?
No.
Hey, that's mine!
Not anymore.
Yes, it is !
Uh-Uh, no.
No, no, no, I'm giving it away.
I'm giving it away.
Why ?
Because I can, And according to your little philosophy, your poker philosophy, If I can, then I should.
Right ?
I know it might seem like you're going to win every time, shawn, but...
no matter how good you are, there's always somebody who's better, And there's one rule in gambling...
The house always wins.
Eventually.
Do you understand what I'm saying ?
Don't gamble ?
Not for money.
I got 10 bucks says you can't make this shot.
Gus, I can't take your money.
That's right, because you can't make the shot.
I could easily make the shot, which is why Ican't take your money.
There's no sport in it.
I say you're all mouth.
I'm all mouth ?
Yup.
All right.
Sail straight, my precious.
Okay.
Double ot nothing.
Trivia question this time.
History...
Grover Cleveland.
Damn !
How do you do that ?
It's the sweetness.
So...
this is how you spend your days.
Oh, my god.
Dad...
what are you doing here ?
Nice.
Is that the way you greet all the people that come through your door ?
That's exactly how I greet everyone.
Maybe that's why business is down.
Are you going to invite me in ?
Yeah, please...
Whoa !
This could be a trick.
What's the rule with vampires ?
Don't they have to be invited in ?
What are you talking about, Shawn ?
Gus, you've seen lost boys 14 times.
What's the rule ?
You're on your own.
Is this is all there is ?
Actually, this is the satellite office.
Main headquarters is in an underground ice cave gus and I sculpted last winter.
What about your license ?
My pilot's license ?
It's out back in the CESSNA, Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill.
Revoked.
Problems at the kazakhstan border.
I could give details, but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.
I'm talking about your private eye license.
What, you need one, don't you ?
Psychics are exempt from the requirements.
Oh, well, Hooray for loopholes.
A little dark.
Could use a couple more lamps.
You're probably killing your eyes.
That outlet...
looks a little overloaded.
That plasma...
you'd probably do better by putting it on that wall.
You'd have less glare coming in through the window in the afternoon...
You know, dad, I really appreciate you making the long drive down to feng shui it up sweet for us, But we're kind of in the middle of something here.
What would that be, shawn ?
Would that be NBA...
garbage can hoops, Or trivia super-challenge ?
Believe it or not, we have an 11:00.
So maybe we should wrap this up.
Ah, it's a little too late for that, Shawn.
I am your 11:00.
www.seriessub.com O/~ i know you know that i'm not telling the truth o/~ O/~ i know you know they just don't have any proof o/~ O/~ embrace the deception o/~ O/~ learn how to bend o/~ O/~ your worst inhibitions o/~ O/~ they will psych you out in the end o/~ Synchro: B@ss.
Bill Peterson.
He owns peterson motors.
I met him about 20 years ago when I grabbed a couple of punks boosting tires off of his lot.
Shawn, shouldn't you be writing some of this down ?
Why would I do that ?
Will there be a quiz ?
Would you shut up and pay attention ?
I got a call from him yesterday.
He's got a kid.
Brandon.
He's just a little younger than you.
He thinks his son might be mixed up in something.
Like what ?
He'll fill you in when he gets here.
The point is, he doesn't want cops involved, so he called me.
And you said...
I said I'm retired, And he should definitely involve the cops.
Sweet.
You came all the way here to tell us that.
Awesome.
No, Shawn.
He doesn't want his son in trouble, and I might have mentioned...
to Peterson, accidentally, that you...
you might be able to help.
Whoa, time out.
Flag on the play.
Did you vouch for me ?
No, I wouldn't say I exactly vouched for you.
Gus, Henry vouched for me...
I did not vouch for you.
You were bragging on me.
You have a dad-crush on me.
Shawn, I was not bragging on you.
I merely restated stats about your track record that are in the newspaper.
Let's hug it out.
Put your arms down.
Give me hug.
No, I'm not going to give you a...
If I had known that Peterson was going to insist on hiring you, I would have blasted your character outright, And I would have mentioned your unnatural fear of pointy things.
Distaste for pointy things.
Please, just do me this one favor.
Would you listen to the man's story, Tell him you can't help, Send him to the cops, and whatever you do, Don't do it with all that rolling your eyes around and all that...
floppy crap.
Jesus...
first of all, I don't flop around all the time, okay ?
My game is predicated on finesse.
How dare you criticise my job.
He's here.
He's here.
Don't tell him I came by.
Do you got a back way out this place ?
You came through it.
Oh, right.
Excuse me.
Are you Shawn ?
Yes, that's correct, Mr.
Peterson.
Wow, that is my name.
Don't be too impressed, Bill.
I could've gotten that information anywhere.
After all, Peterson Motors is gigantic.
Yeah, well, I'm suitably impressed.
Don't be.
Burton Guster.
Pleasure to meet you.
Look, I'll get right to it.
I have a son, Brandon.
Up until a few weeks ago, he worked for me.
Now he's disappeared.
What happened a few weeks ago ?
I fired him.
He was lazy, directionless.
I thought I could get him to buckle down, focus in on something.
How did that go ?
Well, he's been evicted from his apartment, his cellphone's been cut off, And he forged a check from my account to the tune of $30,000.
I need to find my son.
Can you help me ?
Well, Mr.
Peterson, this sounds like a case for the police.
Let me get you a number...
Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.
What ?
This is precisely what we do here, sir.
We find people.
We'll find your Brandon.
Okay, make sure we are not disturbed.
I need five minutes uninterrupted.
Make sure no one comes in.
Yeah.
What's with all the secrecy, O'hara ?
I've got a real mindbender.
Problem with the railway theft ?
No...
it's a detective.
Is this something for internal affairs ?
It's detective lassiter.
What's the problem with our head detective ?
Well, it's his birthday.
Oh, that's not a problem.
Yeah, it is.
He seems quiet.
He is quiet.
That's who he is.
O'hara I think it's nice that you care for your partner, but he's a grown man.
He'll be fine.
I just thought it would be nice to surprise him.
Oh...
detective Lassiter does not like surprises.
Of course he likes surprises.
Everybody likes surprises.
Detective Lassiter has a very particular comfort zone, and you don't even want to know what we now call the "Secret Santa Debacle of 2005."
I just...
wanted to do something nice for him, but nobody seems to know what he likes.
Well, you're his partner.
Shouldn't you know ?
Well, we don't really talk.
I mean, he doesn't.
He...
nods and responds, mostly...
never really poses a question.
Although, sometimes he asks if...
we can ride in silence.
O'hara...
your heart is in the right place, But I am very sure you will have to do this yourself.
Okay, fine.
Shawn, what are we doing here ?
Gus, let me ask you something.
When's the last time you were evicted from your apartment ?
Never.
Exactly.
You wouldn't understand.
This is my world.
So the landlord keeps Brandon's stuff as collateral.
Brandon comes back, landlord gets paid.
Brandon doesn't, there's a garage sale.
Well, the buzzer upstairs says that his is 227.
227 ?
Marla Gibbs.
Regina king.
Jackee.
Hal williams.
Hal williams ?
Hal williams as Lester Jenkins.
Looks like somebody took a screwdriver to this thing.
Let me see.
Okay, so Brandon needed something inside here, but he couldn't get in.
If you were in his shoes, what would you do next ?
First of all, I'd feel...
Tell me about it.
But then...
I think I'd come back with some scissors.
Let's see if we can find what he was reaching for.
Here.
My reach is better.
Excuse me.
What ?
When exactly did we have a...
It has always been better.
But my arms are slenderer.
Slenderer ?
What ?
Slenderer...
Skinnier ?
Yes.
You know what ?
You're right.
My biceps probably wouldn't fit through this thing anyway.
I knew you'd fall for that.
let's see...
Final notice.
Final notice.
Final notice, plus an eviction ?
Gosh, this kid has some serious cash-flow problems.
No wonder why he stole from his pops.
What do you got?
A bunch of pawn shops.
Whoa, wait a second.
If you're a guy with an apartment, what's the one thing you definitely don't have ?
I don't know, a horse ?
A horse, that's true !
Answer we were looking for was yard or garden.
I would have accepted both yard...
and garden...
I was joking.
So if you're a guy without a yard or garden, why would you have a business card for a garden supply store ?
What is R,R,L,R,L,L ?
Rrl..
Rll...
Of course, "rrila rilla."
No, no.
Rrl...
rll...
what does it mean ?
We should probably figure that out, huh ?
You think ?
How long are we going to sit here ?
Brandon might not even show up.
When I suggested we do a stakeout, You were like, "No, no.
We need to do something active."
I am doing something active.
What ?
I'm preparing to try and enjoy this chalupa.
Odd.
No, what's odd is the customers that keep driving into this place.
Look at these cars.
They're ridiculous.
They're all fancy and whatnot.
Not exactly what you would use to pick up shrubs and fertilizer.
Let's see what these people are up to.
Let's go.
Wrong turn.
What the...
dude...
it's a maze.
What is R,R,L,R,L,L ?
Shawn, what are you doing ?
Right, left, right...
dude, the letters on the back of that card were directions.
Follow me.
Right.
Rrl...
rl...
Rrl...
Sh-Shawn...
left...
left...
whoa, wait a second, wait a second.
Maybe we should take a peek and see what we're getting into, Shawn.
Oh, you know what this is, Shawn ?
It's one of those underground poker games.
My poker buddies talk about them.
Since when do you have poker buddies ?
My online poker buddies, Shawn.
I'm good.
I'm up $7 million.
You have $7 million, and you failed to mention it until just now ?
It's not real money, Shawn.
That's illegal.
Rough luck there, again, huh ?
Yeah, a bit of bad luck.
Dude, you should get in this game.
How ?
These games are tight.
You got to know somebody to get in.
Oh, we'll just throw Brandon's name around.
Maybe they'll let us in.
Uh, yeah, one more hand, I'll get it.
It's not working out for you today, is it ?
Not right now.
Come on.
Why don't you stand up here ?
I'm just...
come here.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Just relax, now.
Put your hand up like this.
Why ?
Just hold it up.
There you go.
Now, maybe next time, you won't force me into such a barbaric form of retribution...
Good news.
There appears to be a seat opening up.
Still, I think our best course of action would be to...
Get the hell out of here.
Go, go, go, go !
I want you to know I cannot hear anything you say !
Shawn, what the hell is going on ?
What the...
Shawn what are you doing ?
It's his ongoing sensory-deprivation experiment, sharpening one sense by denying others.
In this case, he can't hear, which amplifies his sense of smell.
Amazing.
That's one word for it.
I need complete and utter silence.
What do you need silence for Shawn, if you can't hear anything ?
Please, Henry, let the boy work.
I smell chips !
Potato !
Pot-Ah-To !
Let's call the whole thing off.
Mr.
Peterson, I want you to grab my arm.
Both hands, like you're doing a pull-up.
Feel the burn.
I will now become a conduit to your son's thoughts.
Please, clear your mind and your nasal passages.
Think of nothing but Brandon and those chips.
Gus, present spuds.
I'm getting something.
It's not clear...
that's a shocker.
I'm wrong !
It's not potato !
Gus, lose the spuds !
Chips...
Ponch !
John !
Striker !
Cracker !
Poker !
Poker ?
I hardly know her !
Shawn...
poker chips !
What the hell do poker chips smell like, Shawn ?
They smell like butterflies.
Poker chips...
and playing cards !
What ?
What about the poker chips and the playing cards ?
Oh, gus, it burns !
The link...
has been broken.
I'll have to read the cards, See what they say.
Shawn...
there's your son.
Notice there are no diamonds around him.
Well, diamonds represent wealth.
So brandon lost his wealth playing poker ?
That's correct, Gus.
Well, what do all these clubs around him mean, Shawn ?
Clubs...
clubs are like...
clover.
He's been playing poker in a garden...
with this guy.
We need a name.
Has he mentioned any of the guys he plays poker with ?
Dumbluck2.
That was his online screen name.
I kept seeing it on his computer when he was supposed to be working.
Dumbluck2.
Here, you can have Brandon.
Thanks.
Hello ?
Hi.
Mrs.
Lassiter ?
Yes.
Who is this ?
What do you want ?
It's about your son...
Oh, no !
It's the phone call !
Oh, no, no, no, no, it's not that.
Well, then, who the hell are you ?
I'm his partner.
But...
you're a woman.
Yes.
Shocking, isn't it ?
What are you, fulfilling a quota ?
If you get him shot...
I'm not getting him shot.
I just need to ask a few personal questions.
Personal questions ?
You're not a cop.
This is some kind of internet scam, isn't it ?
You'll want my social security number next, right ?
Well, suck lemons, cookiepuss.
You're getting nothing out of me.
No.
No, no, no.
It's just...
it's his birthday.
It's coming up, and I...
Who told you that ?
Excuse me ?
Booker doesn't celebrate his birthdays.
Booker ?
Dammit !
Ooh, you're good, trickypants.
Well, I just want you to know This phone call is now being recorded.
I just need some inside information because I want to surprise him.
Why are you asking me ?
Why don't you ask his wife ?
I didn't exactly think that was appropriate with them being separated and all.
They're what ?
Nothing.
My son is separated ?
No...
I mean, I don't know.
Please don't tell him that you know.
Please don't tell him that I told you.
I really...
I had no idea.
Can we please just pretend this conversation never happened ?
Hello ?
Lassiter.
Mother ?
What ?
What do you mean you want your wedding ring back ?
What are you doing ?
I'm playing online poker, Shawn.
I knew I knew that name.
Dumbluck2.
I've played Brandon before.
Right here, and I beat him.
I figured I'd hang out, see if he logs on.
Looks like a full house, huh ?
How did you know that ?
You went...
I don't do that, Shawn.
I didn't do that.
Two pair.
I'd call, and raise.
You're sitting on pocket rockets.
You won't do better than that.
Seriously, how do you do that ?
Good thing you're not a real poker player.
You'd lose more money than Brandon.
I am a stellar player, Shawn.
And don't think...
Wait a second.
What?
He's on now.
Brandon.
Great.
Bring him in.
Bring him in how ?
Say "hey, Brandon, your dad's looking for you" Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
Here.
Time out.
What ?
You're bigkitty75 ?
Yeah.
As in, "the kitty," you know ? "
The pot."
The kitty?
Yes.
75.
74 other bigkittys came before you ?
Yes, shawn, there were 74 of them.
All right.
All right.
Does kitty have a profile ?
It's bigkitty, and, no, I don't.
Perfect.
Scoot over.
Give me some room to operate here.
What are you doing ?
I'm baiting the hook.
Baiting the hook ?
How ?
You can't do this, Shawn.
This is my account.
Relax.
You don't have a profile.
They don't know if bigkitty's I'm a man !
The players I play poker with, chat with, know that I'm a man, Shawn !
That's funny, because it appears brandon thinks you're a...
A cheerleader ? "
Where does a girl go around here for fun and games ?"
Stop it, shawn !
I can't transfer my bank.
I have seven million bucks.
Oh, what's my name ?
Oh, I don't know.
Shawn...
bigkitty75...
Shawn...
you know, kitty, the kitty, kittycat, feline.
Felicia.
Felicia Fancybottom ?
What am I, a James Bond villain ?
Look, he's inviting us into a private chat.
Don't do it, Shawn.
I'm telling you, don't do it.
Buy me a drink ?
I think that question's for you, Felicia. "
Where ?"
Well, I don't know.
I can't...
where do you go to hook up with dudes you meet online ?
That's not funny, Shawn. "
Coffee with attitude" coffeehouse. "
Bring a flower ?"
What do you think ?
Poinsettia ?
That's a plant, not a flower, And it's out of season.
Perfect.
We'll see just how badly he wants to impress Big Felicia Fancybottom.
Ah, he's punctual.
I like that in a date.
Whoa, guys, I'm expecting somebody, actually.
We know Felicia.
Yeah, how do you know...
She's not coming, is she ?
He's felicia.
And I'm felicia.
Great.
Yeah, I knew it.
All hot internet women are guys.
Of course, you're two guys, which makes it doubly weird.
Sorry, brandon, but your dad's looking for you.
That's the rub.
He hired us.
Oh, yeah ?
Well, the joke's on you, because I'm out of here.
Hey, we just want to talk !
What's going on ?
You know these guys ?
Hey, relax, Brandon and I are friends.
I just want to talk to him for a minute.
So how's it going ?
You good ?
Yeah...
Just so you don't forget...
you have until monday.
You were saying ?
Well, it looks like your dad's not the only one who's looking for you, huh ?
All right, look.
You guys have got to give me a break, okay ?
I stole $30,000 from my dad and then lost it, and more, To that jerk J.P.
Berger.
So I can't go home, not until I win enough to pay everybody back.
What did he say ?
You've got till monday ?
Yeah, he did, but, see, the thing is, I'm a better player than he is.
I am much better.
And yet he bent you over his knee and spanked you in front of the whole class.
But he shouldn't have.
I just...
I just got to figure out how he did it.
Look, Brandon, it's simple.
You go to your dad and convince him to give you your job back, And then figure out a way to pay Berger back his money.
That sounds really great, But guys I can't go back to work for my dad.
Nothing I do is ever good enough for that man.
Nothing is right.
You...
you have no idea what that's like.
Look...
here's some brutal truth.
We're the only reasons you're not in jail Or worse.
Your dad's done.
It took someone cashing in a very old favor to get us involved at all.
You will not gonna be able to play your way out of this hole, baby boy, So pack it in.
Pull the plug.
Shut it down.
Leave the dead meat in the freezer and put on your sunday best, because it's arbor day, baby.
Okay, fair enough.
Let's get this over with.
Take me to my father.
What did I tell you ?
Morning till night.
The old man never stops selling.
Some advice ?
Yeah, sure.
When you owe a man $30,000, I'd be careful about criticizing his work ethic.
That's a good point.
You want us to come with you ?
No.
No, you know what ?
I screwed up on my own, I am going to face him on my own.
That's very Cameron Fry of you.
Cameron who ?
Wow, are we that much older than you ?
What's that ?
That's nothing.
It's a good luck charm.
I mean, it used to be...
but you know what?
Here.
I don't need it.
I've given up cards.
I got no use for it.
Whoa...
no, thanks.
I'm not really a jewelry guy.
Gus here is.
No, I'm not.
Sure you are.
Right.
Let's get this over with, right ?
Trying to pass that thing off to me ?
You liked it.
You like the sweet turquoise.
So you're telling me that you've been working with him for 15 years, But you have no idea what kind of food he likes?
He orders separate when we get take-out.
Something about poison.
What are you doing?
Looking.
For what ?
A mint.
I'm allergic to mint.
What ?
Nothing.
I'm just happy.
Now I know you don't like mint.
Well, well...
don't you look like hell.
I know I look like hell, dad.
Everyone who gets up at this hour looks like hell, With the possible exception of Matt Lauer and Diane Lane.
Mr.
Peterson.
How are you, sir ?
Something wrong ?
No, no, Shawn, everything is great.
That's why I woke your ass up, So Bill and I could tell you how...
terrific everything is.
It's Brandon.
Brandon ?
He seemed fine when we dropped him off yesterday.
Maybe a little nervous...
Wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You found him ?
Well, yeah, we did.
When was this ?
Yesterday.
I'm sorry, sir.
I should've told you.
It was right before closing.
We could clearly see you from gus' car, And he said he wanted to come in by himself, and do this...
man to man, you know ?
Just you and him.
He didn't come in ?
You never saw him ?
Oh, we saw him, all right.
I got the reunion right here.
You want to see it ?
There he is.
There's my boy.
Guess he couldn't face me, so he waited till after I went home.
Not the safe.
He's breaking into your safe ?
Breaking in ?
No...
he didn't have to break in.
He's too smart for that.
He knows the combination.
There you have it.
Not quite the reunion I imagined.
So, tell me, psychic...
where's my son now ?
Something's bothering me, dude.
I'm never wrong.
You're always wrong.
What are you talking about ?
This kid should be a better poker player.
Gus that was a pretty good bluff.
Oh, dude, look.
What?
Right there, that necklace thing.
That's horrible.
He wears his ridiculous good luck charm into battle The way that superman wears his cape or Rocky Balboa wears his belt.
I...
I bet you he's on his way back to the maze to take on Berger.
No, berger won't be at the lawn and garden center.
Not this weekend.
Why not ?
There's a tournament.
Winner gets a buy-in to the world poker derby.
You know where that is ?
Of course I do.
Oh...
It's flipping !
Oh, it wants to flip.
Oh, it wants to flap !
Dad !
T.
P.
Toilet paper...
no...
Teri Polo...
Shawn...
T.
P.
Teepee...
teepee with a chimmy.
Chimmy...
chimichanga...
chimichanga.
Chaka khan.
Chaka khan, chaka khan.
Chimichanga, Chachanga ?
Chachanga !
That's it.
You say tomato, I say to-mah-to.
Chachanga.
The indian casino ?
Cha-Ching.
Dammit.
You were right, Henry.
How's that?
Maybe getting...
the police involved is the only way to get his attention.
May I have that DVD, please ?
no.
Excuse me ?
Shawn...
not yet.
Why ?
Let's give him another chance.
I'm sensing there's more to this story, sir.
He's actually a pretty good poker player...
I'm getting a very, very strong psychic vibration...
He's going to lose.
Big.
Not with my money, he's not.
Let's go.
We're out of here.
No, no, dad, I can't.
Would you rather I call the police, show them a certain video of you looting my safe ?
I'm sorry about all that...
No, Brandon, let's go.
No, dad, dad, I'm in more trouble here than you think.
I'm already in, And there don't give refunds here.
Fine.
I'll play.
You ?
You know actually, sir, this is your call.
I work for you.
But keep in mind that I am a psychic, and unlike any of these other players, I come with a money-back guarantee.
What do you think, Henry ?
Can he win ?
Dad, I don't gamble.
I win.
Yeah.
He can win.
So, what's the deal ?
Shawn and Berger drew opposite tables.
The only way for him to face Berger is if he beats everyone at his table, Makes it to the finals, and wins.
Check.
That must be rough.
Sorry ?
You picked the wrong week to quit smoking, dude.
There's a tournament happening here.
What are you talking about ?
What is this about, this is about your lady friend ?
Your special girl back home ?
She doesn't like it ?
Look at the cards, guys, huh ?
Lot of possibilities on the table right now.
Lot of possibilities.
50,000.
Midnight Oil says no !
No !
Call.
Action.
Action in my fanny pack.
All right, I'll call you both.
You didn't catch your straight, did you ?
100,000.
Fold.
You let me down, you let me down.
Ronnie !
What ?
This can be your time.
Right here, right now.
You think you can mess with my head, too ?
Here's the thing.
I'm psychic.
So if I had to guess, which I don't, I'd say yes.
Yes, I can mess with your head, and I can put an entire sandwich in your hair.
Well, you know what ?
I'm not playing with a psychic.
It's against the rules.
Against the rules...
No, guys, guys, I checked the rule book.
I looked in the index under "P".
It mentioned polygamy, pancakes, and pterodactyls.
Who knew pterodactyls started with a "P" ?
I bet you did.
You did.
It's not against the rules, Ronnie.
It's cool.
No, it's not cool.
Look at your stack, man.
Everything's here.
Everything's here.
I need you here.
Take a risk, man.
Bluff it up.
I'll raise you 200,000.
You just bluffed to prove to me that you could bluff.
Ronnie...
I call this move...
the all in.
Ronnie, with the origami.
Center table showdown, Shawn Spencer and J.P.
Berger.
All in.
All in ?
Yeah, but he shouldn't have...
I just got to figure out how he did it.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
The chips demand we stop the game.
What the hell is going on here ?
I can't hear them if you're talking, Berger.
What ?
Really ?
You guys sure about this ?
Chips say you're a cheater, cheater, pumpkin-eater.
Is that right ?
Yeah.
How do you know that ?
We're really supposed to believe that you're psychic or something ?
If you were psychic, I wouldn't be cleaning your clock right now.
Cleaning my clock ?
What does that mean, Berger ?
What, you'd take time out of your day to clean another man's timepiece ?
And if so, that would be a bad thing ?
No, I would be gracious.
I would say, "J.P, dude...
thanks for spritzing my watch."
Besides, it doesn't matter.
Doesn't take a psychic to figure out that these cards are marked.
You know, if you had been paying attention, You'd realize that the decks were all sealed.
He's saying the decks are sealed.
What do you got for me ?
Well, come on, guys, speed it up.
Check the...
for shame.
You dirty filthy rascal with the suede, suede head.
Face card, face card.
Well, how's that possible ?
These are brand-new decks.
We got spotters on every table.
But you didn't check...
your dealers.
Okay, I'm on the dealer.
What do you got for me ?
Hair clip!
Hair clip, of course.
You...
you stand up.
I'm sorry.
Hold on a s...
Oh my, there's some kind of a invisible ink on this hair clip, and every time she fussed with her ponytail and I think we can all agree it's a fetching tail, It's a silky tail...
She got the ink on her fingers, And then she put her fingers on the cards, And then her special partner with his special rose-colored glasses Could see that everything is turning up faces.
All right, put a hold on all of these chips here.
Take these two into custody until we sort this out.
This is ridic...
You're ridiculous.
For shame.
That is...
So much money.
I'll, uh...
I'll let you guys...
make it right.
Well, now I know why I always lost to Berger.
It wasn't me.
But, um...
it was me...
stealing from you, lying to you, and...
dad, for that, I really am sorry.
Well, I appreciate the apology, son, But you gonna have to do a lot more than that to earn my trust back.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr.
Peterson.
No, thank you...
No, seriously, thank you.
Thank you.
Shut up.
Okay.
Dude, $7,500 ?
Peterson is a generous man.
This is our most profitable case ever.
I know, I got plans.
Pay off the flatscreen, Consolidate our loans, And pay off the bulk in a lump sum.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, or...
What ?
We double up, right here, right now.
What ?
Come on, Gus.
Think about it.
Seriously, 15 large ?
What are you talking about ?
Shawn.
We could go to aruba...
Shawn...
Shawn...
Cozumel, Ibiza...
It's "ibitha."
Dude, we could rent a jet to ibitha.
Don't even think about it.
Rule number one of gambling...
Do not think.
That's not a rule, Shawn.
Rule number two...
Always bet on black.
Money plays.
Isn't that right, steve ?
Look, I told you, that's why I don't gamble.
Shut up, shawn.
What did wesley say in passenger 57...
I don't want to talk about it.
He said, "always bet on black".
That's what I did !
Yeah...
here you go.
They're cold.
Lassiter leads a really different private life.
Yeah...
I mean, who would've thought he's into bikes.
I guess...
Hi.
Some of these people look really familiar.
Yeah, I know, to me, too, but...
I haven't had a chance to talk to any of them yet...
I see his car.
I see his car.
Oh, everybody, hide !
Hide !
What the hell ?
Surprise!
No, no, it's okay.
Oh, my gosh, no, no, no, no !
Carlton.
Hey, it's a party.
It's a party.
It's what ?
For your birthday.
Surprise !
Why are these people at my house ?
They're your friends.
No, they're not.
Yeah, they are.
I got them out of your address book.
You took my book ?
Yes, I admit it.
I opened your desk.
I didn't want to load you up with a bunch of work people, So I just invited the ones with stars by their names.
These are all people I put in jail.
The stars are repeat offenders.
You keep a little black book of people you've arrested ?
Of course I do.
Why ?
To drive by and check on them.