Show: Doctor Who - 1x11
There's still no word from inside Downing Street.
.
.
.though we are getting even more new arrivals.
We are the Slitheen.
Reduce the Earth to molten slag, then sell it.
Leave this planet or I'll stop you.
The world is in your hands.
I've checked the figures, I've checked them again and again.
Always the same result.
The design is not safe.
It could result in the death of millions.
I beg of you, stop the project right now before it's too late.
Well.
.
.goodness me.
Obviously, Mr Cleaver, you're the expert.
Then you'll stop it?
It seems I have no choice.
GURGLING Oh.
.
.
Do excuse me.
Civic duties leave little time for a sandwich.
But you promise you'll stop it today?
Well, of course.
Nothing is more important than human life.
What do you take me for, some sort of maniac?
Why, no.
Am I right in thinking you've shown your results only to me?
Just to you, no-one else.
Wise move.
This is such a weight off my mind.
I've barely slept.
I couldn't believe my own readings.
The scale of it.
.
.
Destruction like the British Isles has never seen before.
If I didn't know better, I'd almost think that someone wanted this project to go wrong, as though they intended this city should be wiped off the map.
Thank goodness we've got you, our esteemed leader.
Who the hell are you?
What do you mean, who the hell am I?
Who the hell are you?
Captain Jack Harkness.
Get out of my way!
Don't tell me, this must be Mickey.
Here comes trouble!
How are you doing, Ricky boy?
It's Mickey!
Don't listen to him, he's winding you up.
You look fantastic.
Aw, sweet!
How come I never get any of that?
Buy me a drink first.
You're such hard work.
But worth it!
Did you manage to find it?
There you go.
I can go anywhere now!
You don't need a passport.
It's all very well going to Platform One in Justicia and the Glass Pyramid, but what if we end up in Brazil?
I might need it.
You see, I'm prepared for anything.
It sounds like you're staying, then.
So what are you doing in Cardiff?
And who the hell's Jumping Jack Flash?
I don't mind you hanging out with Big Ears there.
.
.
Oi!
Look in the mirror.
.but this guy, he's kinda.
.
.
Handsome?
More like cheesy.
Early 21st-century slang, is cheesy good or bad?
It's bad.
But bad means good, isn't that right?
Are you saying I'm not handsome?
We just stopped off, we need to refuel.
Cardiff's got a rift through the middle of the city.
It's like an earthquake fault between different dimensions.
The rift was healed back in 1869.
Thanks to a girl named Gwyneth.
She saved the world and closed it.
But closing a rift leaves a scar, and that scar generates energy, harmless to the human race.
.
.
But perfect for the Tardis.
I park on top of the scar.
.
.
Open up the engines, soak up the radiation.
.
.
Like filling her up with petrol, and off we go!
Into time!
And space!
My God, have you seen yourselves?
You all think you're so clever, don't you?
Yep.
Yeah!
Yup.
It'll take another 24 hours, so we've got time to kill.
That old lady's staring.
Probably wondering what four people can do inside a small wooden box.
What are you captain of - the Innuendo Squad?
Wait, er, the Tardis, doesn't it get noticed?
Yeah, why does it look like that?
It's a cloaking device.
It's called a chameleon circuit.
The Tardis is meant to disguise itself wherever it lands.
I landed in the 1960s, it disguised itself as a police box, and the circuit got stuck.
There actually was police boxes?
Yeah.
Before they had radios, they'd phone for help.
If they arrested someone, they could put 'em inside.
Why don't you just fix the circuit?
I like it, don't you?
I love it.
There's no police boxes any more, so doesn't it get noticed?
Ricky, you put a mysterious blue box slap bang in the middle of town, what do people do?
Walk past it.
Now stop your nagging, let's go and explore.
What's the plan?
I don't know.
Cardiff, early 21st century, and the wind's coming from the.
.
.east.
Trust me.
The safest place in the universe.
This nuclear power station right in the heart of Cardiff city will bring jobs for all!
As you can see, as Lord Mayor, I've had to sanction some radical redevelopments.
No photographs!
What did I say?
Take pictures of the project by all means, but not me, thank you.
So.
.
.
Cardiff Castle will be demolished, allowing the Blaidd Drwg Project to rise up, tall and proud, a monument to Welsh industry.
And, yes, some of you might shiver.
The words "nuclear power station" and "major population centre" aren't exactly the happiest of bedfellows.
But I give you my personal guarantee that as long as I walk upon this Earth, no harm will come to any of my citizens.
Now drink up, a toast.
.
.
To the future!
The future!
And believe me.
.
.
it will glow.
Excuse me, my name's Cathy Salt, I represent the Cardiff Gazette.
I'm sorry, I'm not doing interviews.
But are you aware of the curse?
Whatever do you mean?
Cathy, wasn't it?
Some of your engineers are saying that the Blaidd Drwg Project is cursed.
Sounds rather silly to me.
That's what I thought, but the funny thing is it does look a bit odd.
In what way?
The number of deaths associated with this project - the entire team of European safety inspectors.
They were French, and, "Danger!
Explosives!"
was only written in Welsh.
And the accident with the Cardiff Heritage Committee.
The electrocutio of that swimming pool was accidental.
And then the architect.
It was raining, visibility was low, my car simply couldn't stop.
And then recently Mr Cleaver, the government's nuclear adviser.
Slippe on an icy patch.
He was decapitated.
It was a very icy patch.
These stories are nothing more than typical small-town thinking.
Excuse me.
Before he died, Mr Cleaver posted some of his findings online.
Did he?
He was concerned about the reactor.
Oh!
All that technical stuff.
Specifically that the design of the suppression pool would cause the hydrogen recombiners to fail, precipitating the collapse of the containment system, causing meltdown.
You've done your homework.
That's my job.
I think.
.
.Cathy Salt.
.
.
.I think you and I should have a word in private.
GURGLING Oh, my little tummy's complaining.
We might have to make a detour to the ladies.
I'll wait here.
Oh, come on!
All girls together!
So you were saying?
These outlandish theories of yours.
GURGLING It sounds like we got here just in time.
Continue.
Well, I don't know much about nuclear physics, but from what I could make out, Cleaver was saying the whole project could go up, worse than Chernobyl.
Is there something wrong with the lights?
Oh, they're always on the blink.
I can't tell you how many memos I've sent.
So.
.
.Chernobyl?
Apparently, but a thousand times worse.
I mean it sounds absurd, there must be so many safety regulations, but Cleaver seemed to be talking about a nuclear holocaust.
He almost made it sound deliberate.
We're hardly The Sunday Times, we're only the Cardiff Gazette, but we do have a duty to report the facts.
And you're going to print this information?
Are you all right?
You sound a bit.
.
.
Sore throat.
Ahem.
Just a little tickle.
But tell me, do you intend to make this information public?
I have to.
So be it.
Mind you, my boyfriend thinks I'm mad.
We're getting married next month and he says I could lose my job, just when we need the money.
Boyfriend?
Jeffrey, civil servant.
.
.
He's nothing exciting, but he's mine.
When's the wedding?
The 19th.
It's really just to stop my mother from nagging, but the baby sort of clinched it.
You're with child?
Three months.
It's not showing yet.
It wasn't planned, it was an accident.
Nice accident, though.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
How about you?
No.
Is there a Mr Blaine?
Not any more.
I'm all on my own.
I had quite a sizeable family once upon a time.
Wonderful brothers.
.
.
Oh, they were bold!
But all of them gone now.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm cursed.
Oh, no, I don't think so, not really.
You're very kind.
Er.
.
.
If you don't mind, I might be a while.
You run along.
Perhaps we could do this another day.
Are you all right?
Fine!
OK, I tell you what, I'll leave my details with your office.
Thanks for talking.
Thank you.
Oh.
.
.
Oh.
.
.
You're lying through your teeth!
I swear, it turns out the white things are tusks, and I mean, tusks!
And it's woken and it's not happy!
How could you not know it was there?
15 of us, naked, and I'm going like, "Nothing to do with me!"
Then it roars, and we are running!
Brakovitch falls, so I say.
.
.
I knew we should've turned left!
That's my line!
I don't believe a word you say!
That is so brilliant!
Did you ever get your clothes back?
No, I just picked him up and went right for the ship, full throttle.
I mean I was shaking!
It was unbelievable!
It freaked me out.
.
.
And I was having such a nice day.
According to intelligence, the target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family, a criminal sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorious, masquerading as a human being.
OK!
Plan of attack, we assume a basic 57-56 strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor.
Doctor, you go face to face, that'll designate exit 1.
I'll cover exit 2.
Rose, exit 3.
Mickey Smith, exit 4.
Excuse me.
Who's in charge?
Sorry.
Awaiting orders, sir.
Right, here's the plan.
Like he said.
Nice plan!
Anything else?
Present arms.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Speed dial?
Yep.
Ready.
Check.
See you in hell.
Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.
Have you got an appointment?
No, just an old friend, passing by, bit of a surprise.
I can't wait to see her face.
She'sjust having tea.
Just go in there and tell her the Doctor would like to see her.
Doctor who?
Just the Doctor.
Tell her exactly that, the Doctor.
Hang on a tick.
CHINA SMASHES Er, the Lord Mayor says thank you for popping by.
She'd love to have a chat but, em.
.
.
she's up to her eyes in paperwork.
Perhaps if you could make an appointment for next week?
She's climbing out of the window, isn't she?
Yes, she is.
Slitheen heading north!
On my way.
Over and out.
Oh, my God!
Leave the mayor alone!
Margaret!
Who's on exit 4?
That was Mickey!
Here I am!
Mickey the idiot.
Oh, be fair, she's not exactly gonna outrun us, is she?
She's got a teleport, that's cheating!
Oh, the Doctor's very good at teleports.
I could do this all day.
This is persecution!
Why can't you leave me alone?
What did I ever do to you?
You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Apart from that?
So you're a Slitheen, you're on Earth, you're trapped.
Your family get killed, but you teleport out.
You have no means of escape, what do you do?
You build a nuclear power station, but what for?
A philanthropic gesture.
I've learnt the error of my ways.
And it just so happens to be on top of the rift.
What rift would that be?
A rift in space and time.
If this went into meltdown, the entire planet would.
.
.
This station is designed to explode the minute it reaches capacity.
Didn't anyone notice?
Doesn't anyone in London check this stuff?
We're in Cardiff, London doesn't care!
South Wales could fall into the sea and they wouldn't notice.
Oh.
I sound like a Welshman.
God help me, I've gone native.
But why would she do that?
She'd only end up killing herself.
She's got a name.
She's a thing, not a she.
Oh, but she's clever!
Fantastic!
Is that a tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator?
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Ooh, genius!
You didn't build this.
I have my hobbies.
No, you REALLY didn't build this.
Way beyond you.
I bet she stole it.
It fell into my hands.
Is it a weapon?
It's transport.
You see, if the reactor blows, the rift opens, phenomenal cosmic disaster but this thing shrouds you in a force field, you have this energy bubble, so you're safe.
You ride the concussion all the way out of the solar system.
It's a surfboard.
A pan-dimensional surfboard.
I'd have surfed away from this dead-end dump, back to civilisation.
You'd blow up a planet to get a lift?
Like stepping on an anthill.
How did you think of the name?
What?
Blaidd Drwg?
It's Welsh.
I know, but how did you think of it?
I chose it at random, that's all.
I dunno, it just sounded good.
Does it matter?
Blaidd Drwg.
What's it mean?
Bad Wolf.
I've heard that before, "Bad Wolf."
I've heard that lots of times.
Everywhere we go, two words following us.
Bad Wolf.
How can they be following us?
Nah, just a coincidence!
Like hearing a word on the radio, then hearing it all day.
Never mind!
Margaret, we're gonna take you home.
Hold on, like letting her go?
I don't believe it, we actually get to go to Raxa.
.
.
Wait a minute!
Raxacori.
.
.
Raxacoricofallapatorious.
Raxacorico.
.
.
Fallapatorious.
Raxacoricofallapatorious!
That's it!
I did it!
They have the death penalty.
The family Slitheen was tried in its absence many years ago and found guilty.
With no chance of appeal.
According to the statutes, the moment I return I am to be executed.
What do you make of that, Doctor?
Take me home, and you take me to my death.
Not my problem.
This ship is impossible!
It's superb!
How do you get the outside around the inside?
Like I'd give you the secret, yeah.
I almost feel better about being defeated.
We never stood a chance, this is the technology of the gods.
I'd make a very bad god.
You wouldn't get a day off for starters.
Jack, are how we doing?
This extrapolator's top of the range.
Where did you get it?
I don't know.
Some airlock sale?
It must have been a great big heist.
It's stacked with power.
But we can use it for fuel.
It's not compatible, but it should knock off about 12 hours, we'll be ready to go by morning.
Then we're stuck here overnight.
I'm in no hurry.
We've got a prisoner.
The police box is really a police box.
You're not just police, though.
Since you're taking me to my death, that makes you my executioners.
Each and every one of you.
Well, you deserve it.
You're very quick to say so.
You're very quick to soak your hands in my blood.
Which makes you better than me how, exactly?
Long night ahead.
Let's see who can look me in the eye.
It's freezing out here.
Better than in there.
She does deserve it, she's a Slitheen, I don't care.
It's just.
.
.weird in that box.
I didn't really need my passport.
I've been thinking, you know, we could.
.
.go have a drink, have a pizza or something, just you and me.
That'd be nice.
And I mean, if the Tardis can't leave until morning we could.
.
.
.go to a hotel, spend the night?
I mean if you want to, I've got some money.
OK.
Yeah.
Is that all right?
Yeah.
Cool, er.
.
.there's a couple of bars round here, we should give 'em a go.
Do you have to go and tell him?
It's none of his business.
So what's on?
Nothing, just.
.
.
I gather it's not always like this.
Having to wait.
I bet you're always the first to leave, Doctor.
Never mind the consequences, off you go.
You butchered my family and then ran for the stars, am I right?
But not this time.
At last you have consequences.
How does it feel?
I didn't butcher them.
Don't answer back, that's what she wants.
I didn't.
What about you?
You had an emergency teleport.
You didn't zap them to safety.
It only carries one.
I had to fly without co-ordinates.
I ended up in a skip on the Isle of Dogs.
Ha-ha!
It wasn't funny.
Sorry.
It is a bit funny.
Do I get a last request?
Depends what it is.
I grew quite fond of my little human life, all those rituals.
The brushing of the teeth and the complicated way they cook things.
There's a little restaurant, just round the bay, it became quite a favourite of mine.
Is that what you want, a last meal?
Don't I have rights?
Oh, like she's not gonna try to escape.
Except I can never escape the Doctor, so where's the danger?
I wonder if you could do it.
To sit with a creature you're about to kill and take supper.
How strong is your stomach?
Strong enough.
I wonder.
I've seen you fight your enemies.
Now dine with them.
You won't change my mind.
Prove it.
There are people out there.
If you slip away just for one second, they'll be in danger.
Except.
.
.I've got these.
You both wear one.
If she moves more than ten feet away, zzzt!
She gets zapped by 10, 000 volts.
Margaret, would you like to come out to dinner?
My treat.
Dinner in bondage.
It works for me.
Here we are out on a date, and you haven't even asked my proper name.
It's not a date.
What's your name?
Blon.
I'm Blon Fel Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen.
That's what it'll say on my death certificate.
Nice to meet you, Blon.
I'm sure.
Look, that's where I was living as Margaret, a nice little flat, over there.
On the top.
Next to the one with the light on.
Two bedrooms, bay-side view, I was rather content.
I don't suppose I'll see it again.
Suppose not.
Thank you.
Pleasure!
Tell me then, Doctor, what do you know of our species?
Only what I've seen.
Did you know, for example, in extreme cases, when her life is in danger, a female Raxacoricofallapatorian can manufacture a poison dart within her own finger?
Yes, I did.
Just checking.
And one more thing, between you and me.
.
.
.as a final resort, the excess poison can be exhaled through the lungs.
That's better.
Now then, what d'you think?
Mmm, steak looks nice.
Steak and chips!
The Doctor took me to this planet a while back.
It was much colder than this.
They called it Women Wept.
The planet was actually called Women Wept cos if you looked at it from above, there's this huge continent, like all curved round.
It sort of looked like a woman, lamenting.
Oh, my God, and we went to this beach, right?
No people, no buildings, just this beach like a thousand miles across.
Something had happened, something to do with the sun, I don't know, but the sea had just frozen.
Like in a split second, in the middle of a storm, right?
Waves and foam, just frozen, all the way out to the horizon.
Midnight, we walk underneath these waves, a hundred feet tall and made of ice.
I'm going out with Trisha Delaney.
Oh, right.
That's nice.
Trisha from the shop?
Yeah, Rob Delaney's sister.
Well, she's nice.
She's a bit big.
She lost weight.
You've been away.
Well, good for you, she's nice.
So tell us more about this planet, then.
That was it, really.
Public execution's a slow death.
They prepare a thin acetic acid, lower me into the cauldron.
.
.
and boil me.
The acidity is perfectly gauged to strip away the skin.
Internal organs fall out into the liquid and I become soup.
And still alive.
Still screaming.
I don't make the law.
But you deliver it.
Will you stay to watch?
What else can I do?
The Slitheen family's huge, there's a lot more of us, all scattered off-world.
Take me to them.
Take me somewhere safe.
But then you'll just start again.
I promise I won't.
You've been in that skin-suit too long, you've forgotten.
There used to be a real Margaret Blaine.
You killed her and stripped her and used the skin.
You're pleading for mercy out of a dead woman's lips.
Perhaps I have got used to it.
A human life, an ordinary life.
That's all I'm asking.
Give me a chance, Doctor.
I can change.
I don't believe you.
So what do you want to do now?
Don't mind.
We could ask about hotels.
What would Trisha Delaney say?
Suppose.
There's a bar down there with a Spanish name or something.
.
.
You don't even like Trisha Delaney!
What the hell do you know?
I know YOU!
And I know her, and I know that's never gonna happen, so who do you think you're kidding?
!
At least I know where she is!
There we are, then.
It's got nothing to do with Trisha, this is all about me!
You left me!
We were nice, we were happy, then you give me a kiss and run off with him and you make me feel like nothing, Rose!
I was nothing!
I can't even go out with a stupid girl from a shop because you pick up the phone and I comes running.
I mean, is that what I am, Rose - standby?
Am I just supposed to sit here for the rest of my life waiting for you?
Because I will!
I'm sorry.
I promise you I've changed since we last met, Doctor.
There was this girl, just today, a young thing.
And something of a danger, she was getting too close.
I felt the blood lust rising, just as the family taught me.
I was going to kill her without a thought.
Then.
.
.
I stopped.
She's alive somewhere, right now, she's walking round this city, because I can change, I did change.
I know I can't prove it.
I believe you.
Then you know I'm capable of better.
It doesn't mean anything.
I spared her life.
You let one of them go, but that's nothing new.
Every now and then, a little victim's spared because she smiled, cos he's got freckles, cos they begged.
And that's how you live with yourself, that's how you slaughter millions, because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind.
Only a killer would know that.
Is that right?
From what I've seen, your funny little, happy-go-lucky life leaves devastation in its wake.
Always moving on, cos you dare not go back.
Playing with so many people's lives, you might as well be a god.
And you're right, Doctor, you're absolutely right.
Sometimes.
.
.you let one go.
Let me go.
I'm not asking you to leave him, cos I know that's not fair.
But I just need something, some sort of promise, that when you do come back, you're coming back for me.
RUMBLING Is that thunder?
Does it matter?
That's not thunder.
In the family Slitheen, we had no choice.
I was made to carry out my first kill at 13.
If I'd refused, my father would have fed me to the venom grubs!
If I'm a killer, it's because I was born to kill, it's all I know!
RUMBLING Doctor?
Are you even listening to me?
Can you hear that?
I'm begging for my life!
Listen, shush.
Ah, go on then, run!
It's him again, isn't it?
!
It's the Doctor!
It's always the Doctor!
It's always gonna be the Doctor, it's never me!
My handcuffs!
Don't think you're running away.
Oh, I'm sticking with you!
Some date this turned out to be!
It's the rift.
The rift's opening.
What the hell are you doing?
It just went crazy!
It's the rift!
Time and space are ripping apart, the whole city's gonna disappear!
It's the extrapolator!
I've disconnected it, but it's still feeding off the engine.
It's using the Tardis!
Never mind Cardiff, it's gonna rip open the planet.
What is it?
!
What's happening?
!
Oh, just little me!
One wrong move and she snaps like a promise.
I might have known.
I've had you bleating all night, poor baby, now shut it.
You!
Fly boy!
Put the extrapolator at my feet!
Thank you.
Just as I planned.
I thought you needed to blow up the nuclear power station.
Failing that, if I were to be.
.
.arrested, then anyone capable of tracking me down would have considerable technology of their own.
Therefore.
.
.
they would be captivated by the extrapolator.
Especially a magpie mind like yours, Doctor.
So the extrapolator was programmed to go to Plan B - to lock on to the nearest alien power source and open the rift.
And what a power source it found.
.
.
I'm back on schedule.
.
.
thanks to you.
The rift's gonna convulse, you'll destroy the planet.
And you with it!
While I ride this board over the crest of the inferno all the way to freedom!
Stand back, boys!
Surf's up!
Of course, opening the rift means you'll pull this ship apart.
So sue me!
It's not just any old power source.
It's the Tardis, my Tardis.
The best ship in the universe.
It'll make wonderful scrap.
What's that light?
!
The heart of the Tardis.
This ship's alive.
You've opened its soul.
It's.
.
.
.so bright.
.
.
Look at it, Margaret.
Beautiful.
.
.
Look inside, Blon Fel Fotch.
Look at the light.
Thank you.
Don't look!
Stay there, close your eyes!
Jack, shut it all down!
Rose, that panel over there, turn all the switches to the right!
Nicely done.
Thank you, all.
What happened to Margaret?
Must've got burnt up, carried out her own death sentence.
I don't think she's dead.
Then where'd she go?
She looked into the heart of the Tardis.
Even I don't know how strong that is.
And the ship's telepathic, it gets inside your head, translates alien languages.
Maybe the raw energy can translate all sorts of thoughts.
Here she is!
She's an egg?
Regressed to her childhood.
She's an egg!
She can start again.
If we take her home, give her to a different family who bring her up properly, she might be all right.
Or she might be worse.
That's her choice.
She's an egg.
She's an egg.
Oh, my God, Mickey!
Opening the rift filled us up with energy, we can go.
If that's all right.
Yeah, fine.
How's Mickey?
He's OK.
He's gone.
Do you wanna go and find him?
We'll wait.
No need.
He deserves better.
Off we go, then.
Always moving on.
Next stop, Raxacoricofallapatorious.
Now you don't often get to say that.
We'll pop her in the hatchery.
Margaret the Slitheen can live her life again.
A second chance.
That'd be nice.
You got chosen, you're a housemate, you're in the house!
Welcome to The Weakest Link.
We're giving you a brand-new image.
What's wrong with what I'm wearing?
What was that?
She's been evicted.
This isn't just a game.
I need to find the Doctor!
There's something else going on.
We have contestants outside the games.
They fear the Doctor.
Tell me, who are they?
!
That's impossible.
I know those ships, they were destroyed.
Obviously they survived.
Alert, alert!
We are detected!
Subtitles by BBC Broadcast - 2005 DVB-SRT Conversion by reirei.
.
.
.though we are getting even more new arrivals.
We are the Slitheen.
Reduce the Earth to molten slag, then sell it.
Leave this planet or I'll stop you.
The world is in your hands.
I've checked the figures, I've checked them again and again.
Always the same result.
The design is not safe.
It could result in the death of millions.
I beg of you, stop the project right now before it's too late.
Well.
.
.goodness me.
Obviously, Mr Cleaver, you're the expert.
Then you'll stop it?
It seems I have no choice.
GURGLING Oh.
.
.
Do excuse me.
Civic duties leave little time for a sandwich.
But you promise you'll stop it today?
Well, of course.
Nothing is more important than human life.
What do you take me for, some sort of maniac?
Why, no.
Am I right in thinking you've shown your results only to me?
Just to you, no-one else.
Wise move.
This is such a weight off my mind.
I've barely slept.
I couldn't believe my own readings.
The scale of it.
.
.
Destruction like the British Isles has never seen before.
If I didn't know better, I'd almost think that someone wanted this project to go wrong, as though they intended this city should be wiped off the map.
Thank goodness we've got you, our esteemed leader.
Who the hell are you?
What do you mean, who the hell am I?
Who the hell are you?
Captain Jack Harkness.
Get out of my way!
Don't tell me, this must be Mickey.
Here comes trouble!
How are you doing, Ricky boy?
It's Mickey!
Don't listen to him, he's winding you up.
You look fantastic.
Aw, sweet!
How come I never get any of that?
Buy me a drink first.
You're such hard work.
But worth it!
Did you manage to find it?
There you go.
I can go anywhere now!
You don't need a passport.
It's all very well going to Platform One in Justicia and the Glass Pyramid, but what if we end up in Brazil?
I might need it.
You see, I'm prepared for anything.
It sounds like you're staying, then.
So what are you doing in Cardiff?
And who the hell's Jumping Jack Flash?
I don't mind you hanging out with Big Ears there.
.
.
Oi!
Look in the mirror.
.but this guy, he's kinda.
.
.
Handsome?
More like cheesy.
Early 21st-century slang, is cheesy good or bad?
It's bad.
But bad means good, isn't that right?
Are you saying I'm not handsome?
We just stopped off, we need to refuel.
Cardiff's got a rift through the middle of the city.
It's like an earthquake fault between different dimensions.
The rift was healed back in 1869.
Thanks to a girl named Gwyneth.
She saved the world and closed it.
But closing a rift leaves a scar, and that scar generates energy, harmless to the human race.
.
.
But perfect for the Tardis.
I park on top of the scar.
.
.
Open up the engines, soak up the radiation.
.
.
Like filling her up with petrol, and off we go!
Into time!
And space!
My God, have you seen yourselves?
You all think you're so clever, don't you?
Yep.
Yeah!
Yup.
It'll take another 24 hours, so we've got time to kill.
That old lady's staring.
Probably wondering what four people can do inside a small wooden box.
What are you captain of - the Innuendo Squad?
Wait, er, the Tardis, doesn't it get noticed?
Yeah, why does it look like that?
It's a cloaking device.
It's called a chameleon circuit.
The Tardis is meant to disguise itself wherever it lands.
I landed in the 1960s, it disguised itself as a police box, and the circuit got stuck.
There actually was police boxes?
Yeah.
Before they had radios, they'd phone for help.
If they arrested someone, they could put 'em inside.
Why don't you just fix the circuit?
I like it, don't you?
I love it.
There's no police boxes any more, so doesn't it get noticed?
Ricky, you put a mysterious blue box slap bang in the middle of town, what do people do?
Walk past it.
Now stop your nagging, let's go and explore.
What's the plan?
I don't know.
Cardiff, early 21st century, and the wind's coming from the.
.
.east.
Trust me.
The safest place in the universe.
This nuclear power station right in the heart of Cardiff city will bring jobs for all!
As you can see, as Lord Mayor, I've had to sanction some radical redevelopments.
No photographs!
What did I say?
Take pictures of the project by all means, but not me, thank you.
So.
.
.
Cardiff Castle will be demolished, allowing the Blaidd Drwg Project to rise up, tall and proud, a monument to Welsh industry.
And, yes, some of you might shiver.
The words "nuclear power station" and "major population centre" aren't exactly the happiest of bedfellows.
But I give you my personal guarantee that as long as I walk upon this Earth, no harm will come to any of my citizens.
Now drink up, a toast.
.
.
To the future!
The future!
And believe me.
.
.
it will glow.
Excuse me, my name's Cathy Salt, I represent the Cardiff Gazette.
I'm sorry, I'm not doing interviews.
But are you aware of the curse?
Whatever do you mean?
Cathy, wasn't it?
Some of your engineers are saying that the Blaidd Drwg Project is cursed.
Sounds rather silly to me.
That's what I thought, but the funny thing is it does look a bit odd.
In what way?
The number of deaths associated with this project - the entire team of European safety inspectors.
They were French, and, "Danger!
Explosives!"
was only written in Welsh.
And the accident with the Cardiff Heritage Committee.
The electrocutio of that swimming pool was accidental.
And then the architect.
It was raining, visibility was low, my car simply couldn't stop.
And then recently Mr Cleaver, the government's nuclear adviser.
Slippe on an icy patch.
He was decapitated.
It was a very icy patch.
These stories are nothing more than typical small-town thinking.
Excuse me.
Before he died, Mr Cleaver posted some of his findings online.
Did he?
He was concerned about the reactor.
Oh!
All that technical stuff.
Specifically that the design of the suppression pool would cause the hydrogen recombiners to fail, precipitating the collapse of the containment system, causing meltdown.
You've done your homework.
That's my job.
I think.
.
.Cathy Salt.
.
.
.I think you and I should have a word in private.
GURGLING Oh, my little tummy's complaining.
We might have to make a detour to the ladies.
I'll wait here.
Oh, come on!
All girls together!
So you were saying?
These outlandish theories of yours.
GURGLING It sounds like we got here just in time.
Continue.
Well, I don't know much about nuclear physics, but from what I could make out, Cleaver was saying the whole project could go up, worse than Chernobyl.
Is there something wrong with the lights?
Oh, they're always on the blink.
I can't tell you how many memos I've sent.
So.
.
.Chernobyl?
Apparently, but a thousand times worse.
I mean it sounds absurd, there must be so many safety regulations, but Cleaver seemed to be talking about a nuclear holocaust.
He almost made it sound deliberate.
We're hardly The Sunday Times, we're only the Cardiff Gazette, but we do have a duty to report the facts.
And you're going to print this information?
Are you all right?
You sound a bit.
.
.
Sore throat.
Ahem.
Just a little tickle.
But tell me, do you intend to make this information public?
I have to.
So be it.
Mind you, my boyfriend thinks I'm mad.
We're getting married next month and he says I could lose my job, just when we need the money.
Boyfriend?
Jeffrey, civil servant.
.
.
He's nothing exciting, but he's mine.
When's the wedding?
The 19th.
It's really just to stop my mother from nagging, but the baby sort of clinched it.
You're with child?
Three months.
It's not showing yet.
It wasn't planned, it was an accident.
Nice accident, though.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
How about you?
No.
Is there a Mr Blaine?
Not any more.
I'm all on my own.
I had quite a sizeable family once upon a time.
Wonderful brothers.
.
.
Oh, they were bold!
But all of them gone now.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm cursed.
Oh, no, I don't think so, not really.
You're very kind.
Er.
.
.
If you don't mind, I might be a while.
You run along.
Perhaps we could do this another day.
Are you all right?
Fine!
OK, I tell you what, I'll leave my details with your office.
Thanks for talking.
Thank you.
Oh.
.
.
Oh.
.
.
You're lying through your teeth!
I swear, it turns out the white things are tusks, and I mean, tusks!
And it's woken and it's not happy!
How could you not know it was there?
15 of us, naked, and I'm going like, "Nothing to do with me!"
Then it roars, and we are running!
Brakovitch falls, so I say.
.
.
I knew we should've turned left!
That's my line!
I don't believe a word you say!
That is so brilliant!
Did you ever get your clothes back?
No, I just picked him up and went right for the ship, full throttle.
I mean I was shaking!
It was unbelievable!
It freaked me out.
.
.
And I was having such a nice day.
According to intelligence, the target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family, a criminal sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorious, masquerading as a human being.
OK!
Plan of attack, we assume a basic 57-56 strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor.
Doctor, you go face to face, that'll designate exit 1.
I'll cover exit 2.
Rose, exit 3.
Mickey Smith, exit 4.
Excuse me.
Who's in charge?
Sorry.
Awaiting orders, sir.
Right, here's the plan.
Like he said.
Nice plan!
Anything else?
Present arms.
Ready.
Ready.
Ready.
Speed dial?
Yep.
Ready.
Check.
See you in hell.
Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.
Have you got an appointment?
No, just an old friend, passing by, bit of a surprise.
I can't wait to see her face.
She'sjust having tea.
Just go in there and tell her the Doctor would like to see her.
Doctor who?
Just the Doctor.
Tell her exactly that, the Doctor.
Hang on a tick.
CHINA SMASHES Er, the Lord Mayor says thank you for popping by.
She'd love to have a chat but, em.
.
.
she's up to her eyes in paperwork.
Perhaps if you could make an appointment for next week?
She's climbing out of the window, isn't she?
Yes, she is.
Slitheen heading north!
On my way.
Over and out.
Oh, my God!
Leave the mayor alone!
Margaret!
Who's on exit 4?
That was Mickey!
Here I am!
Mickey the idiot.
Oh, be fair, she's not exactly gonna outrun us, is she?
She's got a teleport, that's cheating!
Oh, the Doctor's very good at teleports.
I could do this all day.
This is persecution!
Why can't you leave me alone?
What did I ever do to you?
You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Apart from that?
So you're a Slitheen, you're on Earth, you're trapped.
Your family get killed, but you teleport out.
You have no means of escape, what do you do?
You build a nuclear power station, but what for?
A philanthropic gesture.
I've learnt the error of my ways.
And it just so happens to be on top of the rift.
What rift would that be?
A rift in space and time.
If this went into meltdown, the entire planet would.
.
.
This station is designed to explode the minute it reaches capacity.
Didn't anyone notice?
Doesn't anyone in London check this stuff?
We're in Cardiff, London doesn't care!
South Wales could fall into the sea and they wouldn't notice.
Oh.
I sound like a Welshman.
God help me, I've gone native.
But why would she do that?
She'd only end up killing herself.
She's got a name.
She's a thing, not a she.
Oh, but she's clever!
Fantastic!
Is that a tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator?
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Ooh, genius!
You didn't build this.
I have my hobbies.
No, you REALLY didn't build this.
Way beyond you.
I bet she stole it.
It fell into my hands.
Is it a weapon?
It's transport.
You see, if the reactor blows, the rift opens, phenomenal cosmic disaster but this thing shrouds you in a force field, you have this energy bubble, so you're safe.
You ride the concussion all the way out of the solar system.
It's a surfboard.
A pan-dimensional surfboard.
I'd have surfed away from this dead-end dump, back to civilisation.
You'd blow up a planet to get a lift?
Like stepping on an anthill.
How did you think of the name?
What?
Blaidd Drwg?
It's Welsh.
I know, but how did you think of it?
I chose it at random, that's all.
I dunno, it just sounded good.
Does it matter?
Blaidd Drwg.
What's it mean?
Bad Wolf.
I've heard that before, "Bad Wolf."
I've heard that lots of times.
Everywhere we go, two words following us.
Bad Wolf.
How can they be following us?
Nah, just a coincidence!
Like hearing a word on the radio, then hearing it all day.
Never mind!
Margaret, we're gonna take you home.
Hold on, like letting her go?
I don't believe it, we actually get to go to Raxa.
.
.
Wait a minute!
Raxacori.
.
.
Raxacoricofallapatorious.
Raxacorico.
.
.
Fallapatorious.
Raxacoricofallapatorious!
That's it!
I did it!
They have the death penalty.
The family Slitheen was tried in its absence many years ago and found guilty.
With no chance of appeal.
According to the statutes, the moment I return I am to be executed.
What do you make of that, Doctor?
Take me home, and you take me to my death.
Not my problem.
This ship is impossible!
It's superb!
How do you get the outside around the inside?
Like I'd give you the secret, yeah.
I almost feel better about being defeated.
We never stood a chance, this is the technology of the gods.
I'd make a very bad god.
You wouldn't get a day off for starters.
Jack, are how we doing?
This extrapolator's top of the range.
Where did you get it?
I don't know.
Some airlock sale?
It must have been a great big heist.
It's stacked with power.
But we can use it for fuel.
It's not compatible, but it should knock off about 12 hours, we'll be ready to go by morning.
Then we're stuck here overnight.
I'm in no hurry.
We've got a prisoner.
The police box is really a police box.
You're not just police, though.
Since you're taking me to my death, that makes you my executioners.
Each and every one of you.
Well, you deserve it.
You're very quick to say so.
You're very quick to soak your hands in my blood.
Which makes you better than me how, exactly?
Long night ahead.
Let's see who can look me in the eye.
It's freezing out here.
Better than in there.
She does deserve it, she's a Slitheen, I don't care.
It's just.
.
.weird in that box.
I didn't really need my passport.
I've been thinking, you know, we could.
.
.go have a drink, have a pizza or something, just you and me.
That'd be nice.
And I mean, if the Tardis can't leave until morning we could.
.
.
.go to a hotel, spend the night?
I mean if you want to, I've got some money.
OK.
Yeah.
Is that all right?
Yeah.
Cool, er.
.
.there's a couple of bars round here, we should give 'em a go.
Do you have to go and tell him?
It's none of his business.
So what's on?
Nothing, just.
.
.
I gather it's not always like this.
Having to wait.
I bet you're always the first to leave, Doctor.
Never mind the consequences, off you go.
You butchered my family and then ran for the stars, am I right?
But not this time.
At last you have consequences.
How does it feel?
I didn't butcher them.
Don't answer back, that's what she wants.
I didn't.
What about you?
You had an emergency teleport.
You didn't zap them to safety.
It only carries one.
I had to fly without co-ordinates.
I ended up in a skip on the Isle of Dogs.
Ha-ha!
It wasn't funny.
Sorry.
It is a bit funny.
Do I get a last request?
Depends what it is.
I grew quite fond of my little human life, all those rituals.
The brushing of the teeth and the complicated way they cook things.
There's a little restaurant, just round the bay, it became quite a favourite of mine.
Is that what you want, a last meal?
Don't I have rights?
Oh, like she's not gonna try to escape.
Except I can never escape the Doctor, so where's the danger?
I wonder if you could do it.
To sit with a creature you're about to kill and take supper.
How strong is your stomach?
Strong enough.
I wonder.
I've seen you fight your enemies.
Now dine with them.
You won't change my mind.
Prove it.
There are people out there.
If you slip away just for one second, they'll be in danger.
Except.
.
.I've got these.
You both wear one.
If she moves more than ten feet away, zzzt!
She gets zapped by 10, 000 volts.
Margaret, would you like to come out to dinner?
My treat.
Dinner in bondage.
It works for me.
Here we are out on a date, and you haven't even asked my proper name.
It's not a date.
What's your name?
Blon.
I'm Blon Fel Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen.
That's what it'll say on my death certificate.
Nice to meet you, Blon.
I'm sure.
Look, that's where I was living as Margaret, a nice little flat, over there.
On the top.
Next to the one with the light on.
Two bedrooms, bay-side view, I was rather content.
I don't suppose I'll see it again.
Suppose not.
Thank you.
Pleasure!
Tell me then, Doctor, what do you know of our species?
Only what I've seen.
Did you know, for example, in extreme cases, when her life is in danger, a female Raxacoricofallapatorian can manufacture a poison dart within her own finger?
Yes, I did.
Just checking.
And one more thing, between you and me.
.
.
.as a final resort, the excess poison can be exhaled through the lungs.
That's better.
Now then, what d'you think?
Mmm, steak looks nice.
Steak and chips!
The Doctor took me to this planet a while back.
It was much colder than this.
They called it Women Wept.
The planet was actually called Women Wept cos if you looked at it from above, there's this huge continent, like all curved round.
It sort of looked like a woman, lamenting.
Oh, my God, and we went to this beach, right?
No people, no buildings, just this beach like a thousand miles across.
Something had happened, something to do with the sun, I don't know, but the sea had just frozen.
Like in a split second, in the middle of a storm, right?
Waves and foam, just frozen, all the way out to the horizon.
Midnight, we walk underneath these waves, a hundred feet tall and made of ice.
I'm going out with Trisha Delaney.
Oh, right.
That's nice.
Trisha from the shop?
Yeah, Rob Delaney's sister.
Well, she's nice.
She's a bit big.
She lost weight.
You've been away.
Well, good for you, she's nice.
So tell us more about this planet, then.
That was it, really.
Public execution's a slow death.
They prepare a thin acetic acid, lower me into the cauldron.
.
.
and boil me.
The acidity is perfectly gauged to strip away the skin.
Internal organs fall out into the liquid and I become soup.
And still alive.
Still screaming.
I don't make the law.
But you deliver it.
Will you stay to watch?
What else can I do?
The Slitheen family's huge, there's a lot more of us, all scattered off-world.
Take me to them.
Take me somewhere safe.
But then you'll just start again.
I promise I won't.
You've been in that skin-suit too long, you've forgotten.
There used to be a real Margaret Blaine.
You killed her and stripped her and used the skin.
You're pleading for mercy out of a dead woman's lips.
Perhaps I have got used to it.
A human life, an ordinary life.
That's all I'm asking.
Give me a chance, Doctor.
I can change.
I don't believe you.
So what do you want to do now?
Don't mind.
We could ask about hotels.
What would Trisha Delaney say?
Suppose.
There's a bar down there with a Spanish name or something.
.
.
You don't even like Trisha Delaney!
What the hell do you know?
I know YOU!
And I know her, and I know that's never gonna happen, so who do you think you're kidding?
!
At least I know where she is!
There we are, then.
It's got nothing to do with Trisha, this is all about me!
You left me!
We were nice, we were happy, then you give me a kiss and run off with him and you make me feel like nothing, Rose!
I was nothing!
I can't even go out with a stupid girl from a shop because you pick up the phone and I comes running.
I mean, is that what I am, Rose - standby?
Am I just supposed to sit here for the rest of my life waiting for you?
Because I will!
I'm sorry.
I promise you I've changed since we last met, Doctor.
There was this girl, just today, a young thing.
And something of a danger, she was getting too close.
I felt the blood lust rising, just as the family taught me.
I was going to kill her without a thought.
Then.
.
.
I stopped.
She's alive somewhere, right now, she's walking round this city, because I can change, I did change.
I know I can't prove it.
I believe you.
Then you know I'm capable of better.
It doesn't mean anything.
I spared her life.
You let one of them go, but that's nothing new.
Every now and then, a little victim's spared because she smiled, cos he's got freckles, cos they begged.
And that's how you live with yourself, that's how you slaughter millions, because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind.
Only a killer would know that.
Is that right?
From what I've seen, your funny little, happy-go-lucky life leaves devastation in its wake.
Always moving on, cos you dare not go back.
Playing with so many people's lives, you might as well be a god.
And you're right, Doctor, you're absolutely right.
Sometimes.
.
.you let one go.
Let me go.
I'm not asking you to leave him, cos I know that's not fair.
But I just need something, some sort of promise, that when you do come back, you're coming back for me.
RUMBLING Is that thunder?
Does it matter?
That's not thunder.
In the family Slitheen, we had no choice.
I was made to carry out my first kill at 13.
If I'd refused, my father would have fed me to the venom grubs!
If I'm a killer, it's because I was born to kill, it's all I know!
RUMBLING Doctor?
Are you even listening to me?
Can you hear that?
I'm begging for my life!
Listen, shush.
Ah, go on then, run!
It's him again, isn't it?
!
It's the Doctor!
It's always the Doctor!
It's always gonna be the Doctor, it's never me!
My handcuffs!
Don't think you're running away.
Oh, I'm sticking with you!
Some date this turned out to be!
It's the rift.
The rift's opening.
What the hell are you doing?
It just went crazy!
It's the rift!
Time and space are ripping apart, the whole city's gonna disappear!
It's the extrapolator!
I've disconnected it, but it's still feeding off the engine.
It's using the Tardis!
Never mind Cardiff, it's gonna rip open the planet.
What is it?
!
What's happening?
!
Oh, just little me!
One wrong move and she snaps like a promise.
I might have known.
I've had you bleating all night, poor baby, now shut it.
You!
Fly boy!
Put the extrapolator at my feet!
Thank you.
Just as I planned.
I thought you needed to blow up the nuclear power station.
Failing that, if I were to be.
.
.arrested, then anyone capable of tracking me down would have considerable technology of their own.
Therefore.
.
.
they would be captivated by the extrapolator.
Especially a magpie mind like yours, Doctor.
So the extrapolator was programmed to go to Plan B - to lock on to the nearest alien power source and open the rift.
And what a power source it found.
.
.
I'm back on schedule.
.
.
thanks to you.
The rift's gonna convulse, you'll destroy the planet.
And you with it!
While I ride this board over the crest of the inferno all the way to freedom!
Stand back, boys!
Surf's up!
Of course, opening the rift means you'll pull this ship apart.
So sue me!
It's not just any old power source.
It's the Tardis, my Tardis.
The best ship in the universe.
It'll make wonderful scrap.
What's that light?
!
The heart of the Tardis.
This ship's alive.
You've opened its soul.
It's.
.
.
.so bright.
.
.
Look at it, Margaret.
Beautiful.
.
.
Look inside, Blon Fel Fotch.
Look at the light.
Thank you.
Don't look!
Stay there, close your eyes!
Jack, shut it all down!
Rose, that panel over there, turn all the switches to the right!
Nicely done.
Thank you, all.
What happened to Margaret?
Must've got burnt up, carried out her own death sentence.
I don't think she's dead.
Then where'd she go?
She looked into the heart of the Tardis.
Even I don't know how strong that is.
And the ship's telepathic, it gets inside your head, translates alien languages.
Maybe the raw energy can translate all sorts of thoughts.
Here she is!
She's an egg?
Regressed to her childhood.
She's an egg!
She can start again.
If we take her home, give her to a different family who bring her up properly, she might be all right.
Or she might be worse.
That's her choice.
She's an egg.
She's an egg.
Oh, my God, Mickey!
Opening the rift filled us up with energy, we can go.
If that's all right.
Yeah, fine.
How's Mickey?
He's OK.
He's gone.
Do you wanna go and find him?
We'll wait.
No need.
He deserves better.
Off we go, then.
Always moving on.
Next stop, Raxacoricofallapatorious.
Now you don't often get to say that.
We'll pop her in the hatchery.
Margaret the Slitheen can live her life again.
A second chance.
That'd be nice.
You got chosen, you're a housemate, you're in the house!
Welcome to The Weakest Link.
We're giving you a brand-new image.
What's wrong with what I'm wearing?
What was that?
She's been evicted.
This isn't just a game.
I need to find the Doctor!
There's something else going on.
We have contestants outside the games.
They fear the Doctor.
Tell me, who are they?
!
That's impossible.
I know those ships, they were destroyed.
Obviously they survived.
Alert, alert!
We are detected!
Subtitles by BBC Broadcast - 2005 DVB-SRT Conversion by reirei.