TV-Serie: Rescue Me - 6x5
Previously on "Rescue Me"...
What's this?
That, my dear nephew, is a rare bottle of Irish whiskey.
Little somethin' to wish you well on your first day back.
What gives?
We've come to the conclusion...
That you're a lost cause, and now we gotta cut you loose.
You got a great family, Tom.
Look, I gotta tell you, bro, these kids, they need a dad.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, come on, asshole, do something about it then.
I think you're drinking too much.
I'm tryin' to explain somethin' to you here.
Let's get a drink.
I get what you're tryin' to do here.
The tough love, it's old school.
It's admirable.
I eat when I'm up.
I eat when I'm down.
Sounds like you're gonna eat yourself to death.
I think that's kinda the point.
Jesus Christ.
Janet, I am so sorry.
Seriously, stop beating yourself up.
Ok?
It's...Look, nothing happened.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
You two have got to be shitting me.
What?
[Overlapping conversations, music playing] Sorry.
That's OK.
Well, well.
The prodigal bum returns.
Yep.
What's the matter?
What are you doing?
You know, you're, uh, supposed to treat the, uh, customers with a little honor and, uh, you know, nice.
That's a tall order in this place, the pricks I gotta deal with, present company most definitely included.
Mm-hmm.
All right, strike one, dipshit.
You don't bring your own bottle into a bar.
Strike 2, no smokin'.
Look, my name is on the lease now.
We are playin' by the rules of the great city and the state of New York.
So if you wanna drink that, smoke that, take it outside.
All right.
I'll take it outside.
Why don't you come outside with me, pussy?
Faggot.
Douche bag.
Shit prick.
Dickweed.
Nut sack.
Numbnuts.
'Mo.
[Scoffs] "'Mo."
Heh heh heh.
Unbelievable.
Hey.
Hey!
What?
Where you goin'?
I'm goin' to the, uh, little girls' room, queer bait.
Ass face.
Mmm.
Great state of New York my balls.
[Scoffs] Tell me.
This is your choice?
[scoffs] Great.
Oh, boy.
Just great.
You almost bite it, but no.
God decides you get another chance.
Yeah.
Wasn't your time.
And this...
Tommy, this is what you do with it?
It's pathetic.
Broken record, pal.
[scoffs] If it had been me walkin' out of those towers alive, you can bet you wouldn't find my drunken, pathetic Irish ass in some backroom.
Great.
Huh?
I'd be singin' and dancin' in the street.
But to you...
life is piss to you.
Life is nothin' but piss.
Hey, you're dead, OK?
You know, you're...
you're not even here, all right?
Tommy, that may be...
Bullshit.
But I'm a goddamn hero.
Ok, get up.
[Groaning] You're the hero?
Huh?
How about all the times I pulled your ass out of shit?
Huh?
Huh?
Who was the hero then, asshole?
Huh?
Christ almighty, half the medals you had on your chest were because I didn't want...
goddamn want 'em!
It's over, hero!
The one time I take my goddamn eyes off you, you wander off, ends up bein' the biggest goddamn tragedy in the history of the fire service, huh?
And you're the hero, and I'm the goddamn goat?
I'm glad you're dead.
I'm glad you're dead, and I'm glad I'm alive.
Stop it.
What are you doing?
Jesus Christ.
Oh my God.
How many times did I tell you not to ride your goddamn bike in the street?
No, you didn't tell me that day.
Yes, I did.
I said it about 50 goddamn times.
I just wanted to show you my wheelie, dad.
You couldn't do a goddamn wheelie.
Lifting your own...- Yes, I could.
Lifting your front tire of your bike half an inch off the ground is not a goddamn wheelie.
That's a wheelie.
Stop usin' that whiny voice.
Mom said it was cool.
Mom?
Mom this.
Mom that.
I'm sick of "mom."
I knew you were gonna be a pussy.
I knew it.
You ruined things between me and your mother.
You know that, right?
Huh?
You happy now?
Hmm?
Happy?
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com ♪ On another day, c'mon, c'mon, with these ropes tied tight, can we do no wrong, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, when my teeth bite down, I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to say?
C'mon, c'mon was it right to leave?
C'mon, c'mon will I ever learn?
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪ [Racks slamming] Hey.
He still in there?
Yeah.
Goin' strong.
You said he came in with a bottle.
Yeah.
Whiskey.
Good stuff.
How much of it was gone?
Close to half, Pff, and he's still moving around.
That's impressive.
[Tom grunts, rack slams] You know, God only knows what he's been up to.
One of his hands is all bloody.
Hey, listen.
Take this.
Buy him a couple more rounds.
What, you're kidding me, right?
No, no.
Nail in the coffin, in case the bottle doesn't work.
You know, and then just, you know, let him sleep it off.
All right.
All right?
[Cell phone rings] Oh.
[Ring] Mmm.
Yeah.
Dad.
Coll.
What's up?
Are you OK?
You sound kinda sick.
I'm fine.
Fine.
Just sick of a lot of assholes.
That's what I'm sick of.
But I'm not sick of you.
You know what?
Glad you called.
I wanted to tell you I love you.
OK?
And I know I don't say that often enough, but I'm sayin' it now.
I love you.
And I'll tell you somethin' else.
You know somethin' else?
You know, parents aren't supposed to say this but I'm gonna say it.
You're my favorite.
You're not supposed to have a favorite kid.
Parents aren't supposed to pick a kid, but you were always my favorite.
And you know what?
I'll tell you why.
Because you don't take any...
you got balls.
And you don't take any shit off anybody, and you never took no shit took no shit off nobody, and I...you know, that's why I love you.
What's goin' on?
What are you doin'?
Uh, um, could you come pick me up?
Yeah.
Let me tell you somethin'.
Ahem.
You are smart and gorgeous, obviously.
And funny.
- I know.
And you have a great attitude, and don't let that...
Don't change that.
That's gotta...
that's gotta stay.
That's a keeper.
Smile.
What are you doin'?
I'm putting this on Youtube.
When dads drive drunk.
I'm not drunk.
Lookit.
If I was drunk, could I do this?
Lookit.
- Dad, put your hands on the wheel.
Don't do that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I do this all the time.
No, you don't, not when I'm in the car.
Don't do that when I'm in the car.
I could make a sport out of it.
I could win a gold medal.
Here.
Let me tell you somethin' else.
That's the thing with your mother, you know.
She was a blast.
And then, out of nowhere, she sucks.
Now she's just a big pain in my balls.
No shit.
You know, if I had a pair of balls, there would be a giant pain in them and it would be her.
Did I say you were funny?
Mmm.
You OK with this?
Hell yeah.
You heard what she said.
We can drink for free.
I know.
And you have to...
you have to learn how you can...
I know.
Adapt.
You know what I mean?
Flex...
be flexible.
Flexible.
Hell, yeah.
Don't tell Shawn about this, because he'd get...
I'm not gonna...
honey, no way.
Why would I tell Sha...
- Way freaked out.
Listen, I don't care about his disapproval.
You shouldn't care about his...
Right?
Totally.
You know what I mean?
Don't tell your mother.
Ok.
Ok?
This is just our...
no.
No.
Ok.
So...
You guys ready to roll?
Yeah.
Yeah.
To me.
Could you just pull over?
You're drivin' me crazy.
I wanna get out of the car.
I'm the responsible one.
I get to decide who does what, when, how.
My truck.
My rules.
My night.
Give me my phone back.
No.
No.
The phone is mine.
No, give me my phone back.
No, I'm not givin' you the phone back.
No, you want it, come and get it.
Come and get the...
Aah!
[Both grunting] Get back here.
All right.
I'm gonna count to 3.
1...
[knock on door] Tommy: I hear you.
[Knock on door] Oh.
Hey.
[Knock on door] Ohh!
It's OK.
Tom.
What are you doin' here?
I love...
Oh!
Ohh!
What stinks like mint?
What?
What stinks like mint?!
I'm...
I'm minty.
I am gonna just...
ooh.
Shit.
I'm gonna...
Ok, Mr.
Minty, Tommy, come on.
You gotta go.
Yeah.
Just I'm...
No, no, no, no.
Whatever you do, keep your pants on.
Don't lay down on the bed.
Ok, don't unzip your pants.
Hey.
Hey.
I...
I don't have school tomorrow.
School.
Tommy, come on.
You gotta pick it up, get it together.
Ohh.
Jimmy!
'S night.
Is he out?
Yes.
I think he's out.
What is that, nyquil?
[Car alarm blaring] [Groaning] [Car alarm chirps off] J-Janet?
Katy?
[Winces] [Piece of glass clatters] [Groans] [Glass tinkles underfoot] God.
[sighs] Shit.
[Cell phone rings] Oh, sh...
[Ring] [Ring] Oh, goddamn it.
[Ring] Yeah.
Where the hell are you?
Franco.
I'm, uh...
Where are you?
I..
I'm home...
We're not working today, right?
Where's Colleen?
How the hell should I know?
Get your ass down here now!
Hey.
Hey, Tom.
You know what?
Next time you put your hands on her, I swear to God I will...
[all yelling] I'm not jokin'!
What's going on?
Understand?!
She's done bein' the punchin' bag, asshole!
- What?
The next time you wanna get in a fight, you come find me.
You come find a man...
What are you talking about?
Instead of a woman.
What, man?
What?
What?
Oh, so you didn't go over there after I left last night and start tearin' the place apart like some kind of lunatic?
Over where?
What are you talkin' about?
Janet's house!
I mean, come on, Tom!
How much of a dick are you?
You know how much you terrorized them?!
They went, and they spent the night at Janet's cousin's house in Jersey!
How do you feel about that?!
All right, all right, break it up!
Back it up.
Break it up!
Go to your neutral corner.
We got bigger fish to fry.
Tommy, I been calling you all morning.
Where is Colleen?
I don't know.
- But you were with her last night, right?
No.
No-nobody's heard from Colleen since around 10:00 last night.
Yeah?
Ok.
She went out with somebody around 8:30.
She didn't say who.
Then Janet called her around, what, 10:00, and she said you were comin' to pick her up.
Now, where is she, Tommy?
Where is she?!
I don't know.
Hey, hey.
Listen, I just...
I just got up, guys.
I just...
I haven't even had coffee yet.
Let me..
Let me take a piss and, uh, straighten myself out a little bit.
Yeah.
Go wake up, Tom.
Have a drink!
All right, all right.
Come on.
- You dick.
Come on.
Grab a seat.
[Sighs] Oh, my g...
God.
Ehh.
So you don't remember pickin' her up?
You remember her calling you?
Um...
is there a message from her on your phone?
Oh.
Earrings.
Lovely.
Well, are they Colleen's?
No.
Those are clip-ons.
She hates clip-ons.
Yeah, I spent some time in my uncle's jewelry store when I was a kid.
These diamonds are real.
Well, they could be his, you know?
Maybe he got so drunk last night, he put 'em on and a nice dress, maybe, uh, a little wig, some ladies' underwear and went out on the town.
It happens.
No.
No messages from Colleen.
Well, what exactly do you remember about last night?
Mm, I remember plenty of stuff.
Listen, let's just stay focused on Colleen, all right?
I've called her a hundred times.
Her moms has been callin' her all mornin', and nothin', nada, man.
She's off the grid, son.
Uh-huh.
Well, maybe she doesn't wanna talk to you.
Maybe she wants to talk to her old man.
[Dog barking] That's...
that's Colleen's phone.
That's her ring for you.
Why...
why do I get a barkin' dog?
Yeah.
Why not an Irish jig?
Yeah, or a drunk pukin' his guts out?
Colleen liked to take pictures on this thing.
Girl gets a few drinks in her, she thinks she's goddamn Annie Leibovitz.
[Whispering] Annie Leibovitz?
Boo-yah.
Do I know my lady?
Tons of new flicks from last night right here.
What do we got?
All right, let me start from the beginning.
Ohh!
What?
That's my new Christmas card.
Listen.
I don't wanna see that.
No, no.
It was not my idea.
She wanted to do a little boudoir photography.
Yeah, it looks like a little booty photography.
Yeah, your ass looks kinda ashy.
Yeah, you might wanna do some squats, brother, tighten that shit up.
Listen, my ass is tight enough, all right?
I wouldn't talk about ashy, peewee.
I moisturize twice a day.
All right, just turn it off.
Give...
Oh, now this is charming.
You might wanna get this blown up for the next AA father-daughter night.
Uh-oh.
I hit somethin'.
Wait a minute.
What?
Tommy, who is this?
Uh, I don't know.
Well, this may help.
Hair of the dog.
Maybe, uh, knock somethin' loose up there, get the gears goin' again.
[Knocks on table] I don't know, Lou.
I mean, just the smell of that alone is...
I don't know if I can get it down.
Jesus Christ, you're a prize, Tom.
The sheer volume of booze you have tossed past your teeth for no good goddamn reason all these years, and now, now that it might actually do some good, now you loose your...
your thirst.
Seriously?
All right.
[Groans] [Horn blows] Ahh.
All right, good.
Empty your pockets.
Let's see what we got.
I mean, so far, we got the earrings.
We got the cell phone.
We got a napkin, a lighter.
What else? "
Alice 501 CPW" That's, uh, Central Park West.
Dash it, Holmes.
You've done it again.
Aw, thanks, Homes.
Ok.
Who's Alice?
I don't know.
Henderson's.
Alice Henderson.
I know an Alice Henderson.
Her...
No, that was a Henry Anderson.
No, it was, uh, Henry Aaron, actually.
Hank Aaron.
I don't really know him at all.
I don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about.
Sorry.
It was the sign.
It was the name on a...
on a sign at a bar.
Ok, there's a bar.
There's a bar.
Ok.
Ok, thank you, hair of the dog.
You keep drinkin'.
Anybody got a phone with, uh, Internet on it?
Yeah.
I'm already on it.
Ok, bars named Henderson's in the greater New York City area.
I got 6.
[Foghorn blows] 3 in Manhattan, one in Queens, one in Staten Island, and one in Jersey City.
Any of those ring a bell, Tom?
No.
You got a picture of Colleen?
I got a picture from...
I don't have my wallet.
Ah, Jesus.
Listen.
I have pictures of her upstairs.
All right, bring one down to Mike and Sean.
Franco, you write down the addresses of these 6 places.
You give it to these guys.
You guys go to these places.
You check 'em out.
You see any sign of Colleen at all, you call us with the 411.
Black Shawn, you stay here just in case she shows up, all right?
And moisturize your ass.
Rest of you guys, let's go.
[Glass tinkling] Well, it looks like you been hangin' out with a higher class of broad.
Too bad you can't remember.
[Laughs] Get outta here!
Well, that doesn't look good.
2,900 bucks, and that's just for the glass.
Yeah, well, we're lookin' for a woman named Alice, 13H.
You and everybody else.
Building management's been tryin' to call her all morning.
They want her to pay for this.
She broke the window?
Check it out.
She gets some asshole up to her place last night, night, both drunk as skunks.
Is only up there maybe an hour, comes down, pukes his guts out in a planter in the lobby, and it's green.
The planter?
The puke.
Green.
Doorman goes to grab this asshole.
They tussle a little bit.
Before you know it, poor Tony comes flyin' through the window, and Tony is not a young guy.
Uh, excuse me a second.
Any chance, uh, you're the asshole in that, uh, story?
You!
You!
It's him!
It's the green-puking asshole!
It's him?
Go get him!
Police!
Hey!
Hey!
Police!
Police!
No.
I was here all last night and never saw her.
And I've got a pornographic memory when it comes to chicks.
You mean photographic?
Hey, you got your memory.
I got mine.
What are you guys, cops?
No.
Firefighters.
Jeez, why don't you say so?
Sit down.
Have a pop on the house.
Thanks.
Sweet.
Thank you, man.
Hey, guys, we're kinda busy, remember?
That's right.
We do have 5 more bars to get to.
Ahem.
It's on the house, dudes.
Good point.
Yeah.
All right, we'll make it a short one.
Yeah?
Or a regular one and we drink it fast, bro.
Another good point.
You're 2 for 2, bro.
Here you go.
Damian.
What?
You hold these.
You will be the D.D.
What's that?
The designated...
Hitter.
Hey.
Yeah, so what...
is this the new chapter?
What?
Huh?
The new Tommy that loves his family so much?!
[Shattering] Where is she?!
So help me, God, if something happened to her!
Hey, hey.
Janet, stop.
This isn't gonna help.
Leave her alone.
Leave her alone.
Hey, look, man.
I'm tryin' to help you out, all right?
Had to be Franco, huh?
You...
do you really hate me that much?
All right, I...
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Oh, you know what you said.
What?
What did I say?
Oh, goddamn it.
You...
let me tell you somethin', OK?
If I find out that you slept with him, then you won't see those kids again, OK?
You know what you goddamn said, Tommy!
Janet.
Janet.
Janet.
Janet.
Relax.
Relax.
Relax.
Relax.
Come on.
That's enough.
Let's go in the back and calm down.
How's it goin', boss?
Not so good.
No word yet, huh?
Nope.
Is he out?
You at Sheila's last night?
Why would I be at Sheila's?
I don't know.
Were you at Sheila's last night?
I don't know, but for some strange reason, I seem to remember you bein' at Sheila's last night.
Why don't we solve one mystery at a time, huh, Scooby?
Hey, kid, I just want you to know I would have never called her to meet up with me had I known this was gonna happen.
What do you mean?
What...
we been gettin' together.
I been talkin' to her, tryin' to straighten her out on the drinkin' thing.
We're havin' a good time.
She says she's gotta use the can.
She splits on me.
So I call Jan, and Jan calls Colleen, and Colleen said you were pickin' her up.
I was.
Tom, did Colleen get into that bottle that we gave you?
What bottle?
The fancy bottle of whiskey we gave you as a farewell gift.
We know you got into it, but we just kinda need to know if Colleen got into it.
Why?
What's the big deal?
Listen, I know we were at the bar, Eddie said that you got into it and it was half full.
So what?
What?
It's...
goddamn it.
We laced the bottle.
What?
We laced the bottle.
Jesus Christ.
Uh, it was a last-ditch effort, honey, to get him to stop.
You really think we'd walk away without tryin' everything?
You're our family, Tom, our own flesh and blood.
We love you.
Yeah, you love me.
Yeah.
You loved me enough to poison me.
Pretty much.
Stop it!
Stop it!
You...
break it up!
Enough!
Both of you, stop it.
Stop it!
Damn it, Tommy, it was gonna come to this sooner or later, OK?
It didn't matter if you did it or somebody else gave you a push.
You were gonna end up dead.
Ok, this is it, Tommy.
You have finally hit rock bottom.
And maybe you can't see it, but they did a good thing.
We did.
Ow!
You goddamn idiots.
Well, you did a good thing for him, but did you stop and think about somebody else getting into that bottle?
Your niece, for example.
Never came into our heads.
You gotta believe me.
I mean, look at him.
Look at him.
It's him.
Tommy Gavin, you give him a bottle of top-shelf Irish whiskey, the last thing...
you gotta believe...
we thought he was gonna do was share with anybody.
To be honest, the only dangerous thing we thought about was findin' him with his head stuck in the bottle tryin' to suck out the last drop.
So my little girl is out there sick somewhere.
We'll find her, honey.
Don't...
don't worry, Janet.
We...
we got a meeting set up with Johnny's old partner.
We're gonna start a missing persons thing.
No, but shouldn't that be happening already?
Well, I mean, technically you gotta wait 24 hours.
But we'll get him to put a jump on it.
I-if you hear anything, call us.
This is all my fault.
Goddamn it.
Shit.
Just find our daughter, Tommy.
If it is the last thing that you ever do for me, you find her, and you bring her home.
[Groans] God.
Are you wearing a thong?
Yep.
Don't know why.
Take another one.
Ok, enough is enough.
Colleen, how many you got?
Jeez.
I feel like Brad and Angelina Jolie, except I don't have her tits or vagina.
You can have mine.
[laughs] There's never any hot guys in this shit hole.
You know what?
This is a shit hole.
I don't know why a good-lookin' broad like you's in here.
Well, I told you.
My...
my son, he's like the manager or...
I'm sure he's a...
Oh!
There he is.
Hank!
Come here a second.
Hey.
Come to mommy.
Look at what I found.
A fireman.
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
Yeah.
And this is his darling daughter, Colleen.
It's Colleen.
Colleen.
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, any word on Colleen?
No.
How's Janet holding up?
Aw, great.
She went back to the apartment to see if, uh, Colleen shows up.
Hey, did I, uh...
did I show up at your apartment last night?
You don't remember?
Uh, fuzzy.
Uh, yeah.
You showed up, and you were high as a balloon at the goddamn Macy's parade.
Was, uh...
who was there?
Was there any...
was there somebody else?
What do you mean?
Was Mickey there?
Mickey who?
Mickey the mouse.
Mickey.
Uh-huh.
Ok, what would Mickey be doing at my apartment in the middle of the night?
Is he out?
Right.
Huh.
[groans] Pretty girl, but no.
I never seen her in here before.
Well, this would have been last night.
Didn't see her last night.
But you were here?
Last night?
Yeah.
No.
Wait.
This is last night you're askin' about?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, what?
I wasn't here.
Who was here?
Lots of people, I imagine, folks drinkin' and what.
No, no, no.
We mean tending bar.
My brother, Seamus.
He'll be here in about 20 minutes if you care to wait.
Maybe we should hang, dude, you know?
This is the last Henderson's in the city, and it'll save us the drive if it is the right place, right?
Good point, bro.
Again.
God, you're on fire.
I am on fire, dude.
We'll hang.
Guys.
Are you gentleman police officers?
FDNY.
Well, set yourselves down.
I'll pour you a little somethin' free of charge.
Ah, hey.
Thanks, man.
Sweet, dude.
I feel shitty sayin' it, but I can get used to this whole missing persons thing.
What about a...
what about another drink, Tom?
Maybe it'll help nudge some more information up to the surface.
Oh, God.
I don't...
What are you doin' here, Tommy?
Why are you still here?
You know, if she was my child, you know, my own flesh and blood, I wouldn't be sittin' here on my ass, waitin' for her to sashay through the door.
I'd be out there right now looking under every goddamn rock in every city!
Listen, I...
No, I don't give a shit!
All right?!
No, no, you lost her!
You find her!
Now, Tommy!
You find her!
[Cell phone rings] I think...
goddamn it.
Come here.
[Ring] Hello.
No, I think you have the wrong number.
My friend from last night?
Alice?
Jean.
Jean.
Where did we meet?
[Both moaning] Hey.
Where are you goin'?
We're just gonna watch some TV up in Hank's room.
Oh, let 'em go and have some fun.
They're both good kids.
It's not like anything bad's gonna happen.
I mean, she's got condoms.
Heh heh.
Ok.
Wait a minute.
What?
Th-th...
whoa.
WA.
Whoa.
Condoms?
Sorry.
I mean...
uhh.
Shit.
Good.
Good.
[Clatter] Ok.
That's it.
Let's get your jacket...
No.
You know what?
No!
Actually, forget your jacket.
We're not getting your jacket.
No, daddy!
Stop it!
Let's go.
No!
You can make a new jacket out of your...
your condoms.
You...
Go ahead.
Hey.
Come on, honey.
Condoms...
I can't believe that you are wearing a thong.
Ok, of all the reactions I've had to that particular situation, this is the first one that involves anger.
Did I not ask you twice, twice to wear a thong?
Once, 2 Easters ago, um, with the Tequila, and then on fourth of July on the beach with the champagne.
It was 3 times, OK?
You're forgetting the rosh hashana bender.
I guess you just don't buy enough alcohol.
Or I don't buy cheap polyester, "look at me.
I'm a whore," colored thong.
Ok, I'm not a whore, all right?
I...
Did you sleep with her, or did you just go through her panty drawer?
I don't remember, OK?
I do remember this...
her name is Jean, and she had a great ass and great tits, and she had legs that went on for...
Tommy.
You stud.
Ha ha.
I never thought I'd see you again, you know, after the way you stormed out last night.
Hi.
Hi.
Ooh.
Is Jean home?
Oh, you silly.
Come here.
Oh, come on.
[giggles] She didn't come back here, as far as I know.
Well, maybe she met up with your son.
Is he here?
You could ask him, maybe.
No skin off my hump.
Hank!
What?!
Can you come down for a sec?
I'm busy!
Probably masturbatin'.
He...
he sees a therapist about it.
Come down.
We have guests.
Damn it!
I...
I think I might have a pair of your earrings.
Oh, it can't be mine.
No, see, my...
my lobes, they...
they're prone to infection.
Oh, good.
So I'm not the only one.
Are you missing any underwear?
Uhh.
I don't wear underwear.
Oh.
Hank!
Be nice.
You remember Tommy from last night.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't recognize you without your tongue halfway down my mother's throat.
That's not pleasant.
Kiss my balls?
You know, maybe if I did, you wouldn't jerk off so much.
I don't jerk off!
Sorry.
So, uh, Jean, this, uh...
this bar where you met Tommy and Colleen last night, where exactly is that?
We're thinking about maybe stoppin' over there and checkin' the place out.
Oh, it's really close by, but I don't know where Henderson's is.
See, we met at a place called the Rockaway Beach Inn.
I know every bar for miles around.
There's no Henderson's.
Well, it's not like we expected to find her waitin' for us in there.
No, but we are gonna find her, Tommy.
I know, but she could be 50 feet away in some basement here.
She could be 50 miles away in, you know, some back alley.
How cold do you think it's gonna get tonight?
Don't worry.
We'll find her.
We are.
We will.
We are gonna find her.
I say we grab some coffee, we assemble whatever troops we have, he head back to the Rockaways, we do an organized search, and we don't leave until we find her.
Maybe Mickey and Teddy already have some information...
[Laughter] About...
Hi.
Hi.
[Laughs] Remember me?
Sh-yeah.
I'm sorry for showing up unannounced, but, um, I'd just like my earrings back.
Of course you can have your earrings back.
I have them right here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but I took a few pictures last night of us, but mostly of you.
Someone was too shitfaced to perform.
Ohh.
I-I'm sorry, but what...
what was your name again?
Before I forget, you owe me $14 for a new bottle of creme de menthe.
The only booze I had in the place, and he drained it.
That would explain the green lips.
Ok, you said somethin' about some pictures.
Yeah.
Well, he was in my bed, and nothing was happening, so I thought I'd have some fun, so I got my earrings and some hair extensions...
Oh, yeah.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
That's my favorite.
Let me see.
[Laughter] All right, let me see.
Oh, my God.
It's really not that funny.
My heart.
You are my new best friend.
Ok, everybody's had their little fun.
You got your earrings.
I think we're done here.
See, now you've made him mad.
Now you won't get your thong back.
You have no right to be angry...
I mean...
I'm the one who ended up with an empty bottle of creme de menthe and a bedroom full of sand.
Good-bye, everybody.
Good-bye!!
- Bye.
Unh!
2!
All right.
All right, the last time I'm gonna say it.
Goddamn it!
Fine!
3!
3!
God...
[Brakes squeal] [Car doors close] Sheila, you come with me.
Lou, grab the other guys.
Go to that side.
We'll cover this side, uh, the far side of the dunes.
You cover this side.
Sean!
You guys head South.
Franco.
Yeah?
You follow me.
Tommy, where do you want me?!
Come with me.
Colleen!
Colleen!
You guys go that way, all right?
Colleen!
Colleen!
[Distant yell] Colleen!
Colleen!
Colleen!
[Buoy bell dinging] [Foghorn blowing] Colleen!
The prodigal bum returns.
I hate you!
Get outta here!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
[Glass shatters] Unh!
Go ahead!
Get in the truck, goddamn it!
One last chance.
Colleen!
Colleen!
Hey!
I got her!
He got her!
Hey!
Guys, you guys, he found her!
Ahh.
Colleen.
Oh, no.
Coll.
Col?
Colleen?
hey, hey.
[Coughing] Hey.
Hey.
Is she alive?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, OK.
Ok.
She's cold.
Let me give her a coat.
Here you go.
Ah, Christ.
Hey, give me your jacket.
Give me your jacket.
Tommy, I'll call Janet.
Hey, Coll.
It's OK.
We got you.
Hey.
Ok.
Ok.
Daddy?
Yes.
What is it, baby?
Ok.
All right.
[Waves crashing] Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
What's this?
That, my dear nephew, is a rare bottle of Irish whiskey.
Little somethin' to wish you well on your first day back.
What gives?
We've come to the conclusion...
That you're a lost cause, and now we gotta cut you loose.
You got a great family, Tom.
Look, I gotta tell you, bro, these kids, they need a dad.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, come on, asshole, do something about it then.
I think you're drinking too much.
I'm tryin' to explain somethin' to you here.
Let's get a drink.
I get what you're tryin' to do here.
The tough love, it's old school.
It's admirable.
I eat when I'm up.
I eat when I'm down.
Sounds like you're gonna eat yourself to death.
I think that's kinda the point.
Jesus Christ.
Janet, I am so sorry.
Seriously, stop beating yourself up.
Ok?
It's...Look, nothing happened.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
You two have got to be shitting me.
What?
[Overlapping conversations, music playing] Sorry.
That's OK.
Well, well.
The prodigal bum returns.
Yep.
What's the matter?
What are you doing?
You know, you're, uh, supposed to treat the, uh, customers with a little honor and, uh, you know, nice.
That's a tall order in this place, the pricks I gotta deal with, present company most definitely included.
Mm-hmm.
All right, strike one, dipshit.
You don't bring your own bottle into a bar.
Strike 2, no smokin'.
Look, my name is on the lease now.
We are playin' by the rules of the great city and the state of New York.
So if you wanna drink that, smoke that, take it outside.
All right.
I'll take it outside.
Why don't you come outside with me, pussy?
Faggot.
Douche bag.
Shit prick.
Dickweed.
Nut sack.
Numbnuts.
'Mo.
[Scoffs] "'Mo."
Heh heh heh.
Unbelievable.
Hey.
Hey!
What?
Where you goin'?
I'm goin' to the, uh, little girls' room, queer bait.
Ass face.
Mmm.
Great state of New York my balls.
[Scoffs] Tell me.
This is your choice?
[scoffs] Great.
Oh, boy.
Just great.
You almost bite it, but no.
God decides you get another chance.
Yeah.
Wasn't your time.
And this...
Tommy, this is what you do with it?
It's pathetic.
Broken record, pal.
[scoffs] If it had been me walkin' out of those towers alive, you can bet you wouldn't find my drunken, pathetic Irish ass in some backroom.
Great.
Huh?
I'd be singin' and dancin' in the street.
But to you...
life is piss to you.
Life is nothin' but piss.
Hey, you're dead, OK?
You know, you're...
you're not even here, all right?
Tommy, that may be...
Bullshit.
But I'm a goddamn hero.
Ok, get up.
[Groaning] You're the hero?
Huh?
How about all the times I pulled your ass out of shit?
Huh?
Huh?
Who was the hero then, asshole?
Huh?
Christ almighty, half the medals you had on your chest were because I didn't want...
goddamn want 'em!
It's over, hero!
The one time I take my goddamn eyes off you, you wander off, ends up bein' the biggest goddamn tragedy in the history of the fire service, huh?
And you're the hero, and I'm the goddamn goat?
I'm glad you're dead.
I'm glad you're dead, and I'm glad I'm alive.
Stop it.
What are you doing?
Jesus Christ.
Oh my God.
How many times did I tell you not to ride your goddamn bike in the street?
No, you didn't tell me that day.
Yes, I did.
I said it about 50 goddamn times.
I just wanted to show you my wheelie, dad.
You couldn't do a goddamn wheelie.
Lifting your own...- Yes, I could.
Lifting your front tire of your bike half an inch off the ground is not a goddamn wheelie.
That's a wheelie.
Stop usin' that whiny voice.
Mom said it was cool.
Mom?
Mom this.
Mom that.
I'm sick of "mom."
I knew you were gonna be a pussy.
I knew it.
You ruined things between me and your mother.
You know that, right?
Huh?
You happy now?
Hmm?
Happy?
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com ♪ On another day, c'mon, c'mon, with these ropes tied tight, can we do no wrong, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, when my teeth bite down, I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to say?
C'mon, c'mon was it right to leave?
C'mon, c'mon will I ever learn?
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪ [Racks slamming] Hey.
He still in there?
Yeah.
Goin' strong.
You said he came in with a bottle.
Yeah.
Whiskey.
Good stuff.
How much of it was gone?
Close to half, Pff, and he's still moving around.
That's impressive.
[Tom grunts, rack slams] You know, God only knows what he's been up to.
One of his hands is all bloody.
Hey, listen.
Take this.
Buy him a couple more rounds.
What, you're kidding me, right?
No, no.
Nail in the coffin, in case the bottle doesn't work.
You know, and then just, you know, let him sleep it off.
All right.
All right?
[Cell phone rings] Oh.
[Ring] Mmm.
Yeah.
Dad.
Coll.
What's up?
Are you OK?
You sound kinda sick.
I'm fine.
Fine.
Just sick of a lot of assholes.
That's what I'm sick of.
But I'm not sick of you.
You know what?
Glad you called.
I wanted to tell you I love you.
OK?
And I know I don't say that often enough, but I'm sayin' it now.
I love you.
And I'll tell you somethin' else.
You know somethin' else?
You know, parents aren't supposed to say this but I'm gonna say it.
You're my favorite.
You're not supposed to have a favorite kid.
Parents aren't supposed to pick a kid, but you were always my favorite.
And you know what?
I'll tell you why.
Because you don't take any...
you got balls.
And you don't take any shit off anybody, and you never took no shit took no shit off nobody, and I...you know, that's why I love you.
What's goin' on?
What are you doin'?
Uh, um, could you come pick me up?
Yeah.
Let me tell you somethin'.
Ahem.
You are smart and gorgeous, obviously.
And funny.
- I know.
And you have a great attitude, and don't let that...
Don't change that.
That's gotta...
that's gotta stay.
That's a keeper.
Smile.
What are you doin'?
I'm putting this on Youtube.
When dads drive drunk.
I'm not drunk.
Lookit.
If I was drunk, could I do this?
Lookit.
- Dad, put your hands on the wheel.
Don't do that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I do this all the time.
No, you don't, not when I'm in the car.
Don't do that when I'm in the car.
I could make a sport out of it.
I could win a gold medal.
Here.
Let me tell you somethin' else.
That's the thing with your mother, you know.
She was a blast.
And then, out of nowhere, she sucks.
Now she's just a big pain in my balls.
No shit.
You know, if I had a pair of balls, there would be a giant pain in them and it would be her.
Did I say you were funny?
Mmm.
You OK with this?
Hell yeah.
You heard what she said.
We can drink for free.
I know.
And you have to...
you have to learn how you can...
I know.
Adapt.
You know what I mean?
Flex...
be flexible.
Flexible.
Hell, yeah.
Don't tell Shawn about this, because he'd get...
I'm not gonna...
honey, no way.
Why would I tell Sha...
- Way freaked out.
Listen, I don't care about his disapproval.
You shouldn't care about his...
Right?
Totally.
You know what I mean?
Don't tell your mother.
Ok.
Ok?
This is just our...
no.
No.
Ok.
So...
You guys ready to roll?
Yeah.
Yeah.
To me.
Could you just pull over?
You're drivin' me crazy.
I wanna get out of the car.
I'm the responsible one.
I get to decide who does what, when, how.
My truck.
My rules.
My night.
Give me my phone back.
No.
No.
The phone is mine.
No, give me my phone back.
No, I'm not givin' you the phone back.
No, you want it, come and get it.
Come and get the...
Aah!
[Both grunting] Get back here.
All right.
I'm gonna count to 3.
1...
[knock on door] Tommy: I hear you.
[Knock on door] Oh.
Hey.
[Knock on door] Ohh!
It's OK.
Tom.
What are you doin' here?
I love...
Oh!
Ohh!
What stinks like mint?
What?
What stinks like mint?!
I'm...
I'm minty.
I am gonna just...
ooh.
Shit.
I'm gonna...
Ok, Mr.
Minty, Tommy, come on.
You gotta go.
Yeah.
Just I'm...
No, no, no, no.
Whatever you do, keep your pants on.
Don't lay down on the bed.
Ok, don't unzip your pants.
Hey.
Hey.
I...
I don't have school tomorrow.
School.
Tommy, come on.
You gotta pick it up, get it together.
Ohh.
Jimmy!
'S night.
Is he out?
Yes.
I think he's out.
What is that, nyquil?
[Car alarm blaring] [Groaning] [Car alarm chirps off] J-Janet?
Katy?
[Winces] [Piece of glass clatters] [Groans] [Glass tinkles underfoot] God.
[sighs] Shit.
[Cell phone rings] Oh, sh...
[Ring] [Ring] Oh, goddamn it.
[Ring] Yeah.
Where the hell are you?
Franco.
I'm, uh...
Where are you?
I..
I'm home...
We're not working today, right?
Where's Colleen?
How the hell should I know?
Get your ass down here now!
Hey.
Hey, Tom.
You know what?
Next time you put your hands on her, I swear to God I will...
[all yelling] I'm not jokin'!
What's going on?
Understand?!
She's done bein' the punchin' bag, asshole!
- What?
The next time you wanna get in a fight, you come find me.
You come find a man...
What are you talking about?
Instead of a woman.
What, man?
What?
What?
Oh, so you didn't go over there after I left last night and start tearin' the place apart like some kind of lunatic?
Over where?
What are you talkin' about?
Janet's house!
I mean, come on, Tom!
How much of a dick are you?
You know how much you terrorized them?!
They went, and they spent the night at Janet's cousin's house in Jersey!
How do you feel about that?!
All right, all right, break it up!
Back it up.
Break it up!
Go to your neutral corner.
We got bigger fish to fry.
Tommy, I been calling you all morning.
Where is Colleen?
I don't know.
- But you were with her last night, right?
No.
No-nobody's heard from Colleen since around 10:00 last night.
Yeah?
Ok.
She went out with somebody around 8:30.
She didn't say who.
Then Janet called her around, what, 10:00, and she said you were comin' to pick her up.
Now, where is she, Tommy?
Where is she?!
I don't know.
Hey, hey.
Listen, I just...
I just got up, guys.
I just...
I haven't even had coffee yet.
Let me..
Let me take a piss and, uh, straighten myself out a little bit.
Yeah.
Go wake up, Tom.
Have a drink!
All right, all right.
Come on.
- You dick.
Come on.
Grab a seat.
[Sighs] Oh, my g...
God.
Ehh.
So you don't remember pickin' her up?
You remember her calling you?
Um...
is there a message from her on your phone?
Oh.
Earrings.
Lovely.
Well, are they Colleen's?
No.
Those are clip-ons.
She hates clip-ons.
Yeah, I spent some time in my uncle's jewelry store when I was a kid.
These diamonds are real.
Well, they could be his, you know?
Maybe he got so drunk last night, he put 'em on and a nice dress, maybe, uh, a little wig, some ladies' underwear and went out on the town.
It happens.
No.
No messages from Colleen.
Well, what exactly do you remember about last night?
Mm, I remember plenty of stuff.
Listen, let's just stay focused on Colleen, all right?
I've called her a hundred times.
Her moms has been callin' her all mornin', and nothin', nada, man.
She's off the grid, son.
Uh-huh.
Well, maybe she doesn't wanna talk to you.
Maybe she wants to talk to her old man.
[Dog barking] That's...
that's Colleen's phone.
That's her ring for you.
Why...
why do I get a barkin' dog?
Yeah.
Why not an Irish jig?
Yeah, or a drunk pukin' his guts out?
Colleen liked to take pictures on this thing.
Girl gets a few drinks in her, she thinks she's goddamn Annie Leibovitz.
[Whispering] Annie Leibovitz?
Boo-yah.
Do I know my lady?
Tons of new flicks from last night right here.
What do we got?
All right, let me start from the beginning.
Ohh!
What?
That's my new Christmas card.
Listen.
I don't wanna see that.
No, no.
It was not my idea.
She wanted to do a little boudoir photography.
Yeah, it looks like a little booty photography.
Yeah, your ass looks kinda ashy.
Yeah, you might wanna do some squats, brother, tighten that shit up.
Listen, my ass is tight enough, all right?
I wouldn't talk about ashy, peewee.
I moisturize twice a day.
All right, just turn it off.
Give...
Oh, now this is charming.
You might wanna get this blown up for the next AA father-daughter night.
Uh-oh.
I hit somethin'.
Wait a minute.
What?
Tommy, who is this?
Uh, I don't know.
Well, this may help.
Hair of the dog.
Maybe, uh, knock somethin' loose up there, get the gears goin' again.
[Knocks on table] I don't know, Lou.
I mean, just the smell of that alone is...
I don't know if I can get it down.
Jesus Christ, you're a prize, Tom.
The sheer volume of booze you have tossed past your teeth for no good goddamn reason all these years, and now, now that it might actually do some good, now you loose your...
your thirst.
Seriously?
All right.
[Groans] [Horn blows] Ahh.
All right, good.
Empty your pockets.
Let's see what we got.
I mean, so far, we got the earrings.
We got the cell phone.
We got a napkin, a lighter.
What else? "
Alice 501 CPW" That's, uh, Central Park West.
Dash it, Holmes.
You've done it again.
Aw, thanks, Homes.
Ok.
Who's Alice?
I don't know.
Henderson's.
Alice Henderson.
I know an Alice Henderson.
Her...
No, that was a Henry Anderson.
No, it was, uh, Henry Aaron, actually.
Hank Aaron.
I don't really know him at all.
I don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about.
Sorry.
It was the sign.
It was the name on a...
on a sign at a bar.
Ok, there's a bar.
There's a bar.
Ok.
Ok, thank you, hair of the dog.
You keep drinkin'.
Anybody got a phone with, uh, Internet on it?
Yeah.
I'm already on it.
Ok, bars named Henderson's in the greater New York City area.
I got 6.
[Foghorn blows] 3 in Manhattan, one in Queens, one in Staten Island, and one in Jersey City.
Any of those ring a bell, Tom?
No.
You got a picture of Colleen?
I got a picture from...
I don't have my wallet.
Ah, Jesus.
Listen.
I have pictures of her upstairs.
All right, bring one down to Mike and Sean.
Franco, you write down the addresses of these 6 places.
You give it to these guys.
You guys go to these places.
You check 'em out.
You see any sign of Colleen at all, you call us with the 411.
Black Shawn, you stay here just in case she shows up, all right?
And moisturize your ass.
Rest of you guys, let's go.
[Glass tinkling] Well, it looks like you been hangin' out with a higher class of broad.
Too bad you can't remember.
[Laughs] Get outta here!
Well, that doesn't look good.
2,900 bucks, and that's just for the glass.
Yeah, well, we're lookin' for a woman named Alice, 13H.
You and everybody else.
Building management's been tryin' to call her all morning.
They want her to pay for this.
She broke the window?
Check it out.
She gets some asshole up to her place last night, night, both drunk as skunks.
Is only up there maybe an hour, comes down, pukes his guts out in a planter in the lobby, and it's green.
The planter?
The puke.
Green.
Doorman goes to grab this asshole.
They tussle a little bit.
Before you know it, poor Tony comes flyin' through the window, and Tony is not a young guy.
Uh, excuse me a second.
Any chance, uh, you're the asshole in that, uh, story?
You!
You!
It's him!
It's the green-puking asshole!
It's him?
Go get him!
Police!
Hey!
Hey!
Police!
Police!
No.
I was here all last night and never saw her.
And I've got a pornographic memory when it comes to chicks.
You mean photographic?
Hey, you got your memory.
I got mine.
What are you guys, cops?
No.
Firefighters.
Jeez, why don't you say so?
Sit down.
Have a pop on the house.
Thanks.
Sweet.
Thank you, man.
Hey, guys, we're kinda busy, remember?
That's right.
We do have 5 more bars to get to.
Ahem.
It's on the house, dudes.
Good point.
Yeah.
All right, we'll make it a short one.
Yeah?
Or a regular one and we drink it fast, bro.
Another good point.
You're 2 for 2, bro.
Here you go.
Damian.
What?
You hold these.
You will be the D.D.
What's that?
The designated...
Hitter.
Hey.
Yeah, so what...
is this the new chapter?
What?
Huh?
The new Tommy that loves his family so much?!
[Shattering] Where is she?!
So help me, God, if something happened to her!
Hey, hey.
Janet, stop.
This isn't gonna help.
Leave her alone.
Leave her alone.
Hey, look, man.
I'm tryin' to help you out, all right?
Had to be Franco, huh?
You...
do you really hate me that much?
All right, I...
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Oh, you know what you said.
What?
What did I say?
Oh, goddamn it.
You...
let me tell you somethin', OK?
If I find out that you slept with him, then you won't see those kids again, OK?
You know what you goddamn said, Tommy!
Janet.
Janet.
Janet.
Janet.
Relax.
Relax.
Relax.
Relax.
Come on.
That's enough.
Let's go in the back and calm down.
How's it goin', boss?
Not so good.
No word yet, huh?
Nope.
Is he out?
You at Sheila's last night?
Why would I be at Sheila's?
I don't know.
Were you at Sheila's last night?
I don't know, but for some strange reason, I seem to remember you bein' at Sheila's last night.
Why don't we solve one mystery at a time, huh, Scooby?
Hey, kid, I just want you to know I would have never called her to meet up with me had I known this was gonna happen.
What do you mean?
What...
we been gettin' together.
I been talkin' to her, tryin' to straighten her out on the drinkin' thing.
We're havin' a good time.
She says she's gotta use the can.
She splits on me.
So I call Jan, and Jan calls Colleen, and Colleen said you were pickin' her up.
I was.
Tom, did Colleen get into that bottle that we gave you?
What bottle?
The fancy bottle of whiskey we gave you as a farewell gift.
We know you got into it, but we just kinda need to know if Colleen got into it.
Why?
What's the big deal?
Listen, I know we were at the bar, Eddie said that you got into it and it was half full.
So what?
What?
It's...
goddamn it.
We laced the bottle.
What?
We laced the bottle.
Jesus Christ.
Uh, it was a last-ditch effort, honey, to get him to stop.
You really think we'd walk away without tryin' everything?
You're our family, Tom, our own flesh and blood.
We love you.
Yeah, you love me.
Yeah.
You loved me enough to poison me.
Pretty much.
Stop it!
Stop it!
You...
break it up!
Enough!
Both of you, stop it.
Stop it!
Damn it, Tommy, it was gonna come to this sooner or later, OK?
It didn't matter if you did it or somebody else gave you a push.
You were gonna end up dead.
Ok, this is it, Tommy.
You have finally hit rock bottom.
And maybe you can't see it, but they did a good thing.
We did.
Ow!
You goddamn idiots.
Well, you did a good thing for him, but did you stop and think about somebody else getting into that bottle?
Your niece, for example.
Never came into our heads.
You gotta believe me.
I mean, look at him.
Look at him.
It's him.
Tommy Gavin, you give him a bottle of top-shelf Irish whiskey, the last thing...
you gotta believe...
we thought he was gonna do was share with anybody.
To be honest, the only dangerous thing we thought about was findin' him with his head stuck in the bottle tryin' to suck out the last drop.
So my little girl is out there sick somewhere.
We'll find her, honey.
Don't...
don't worry, Janet.
We...
we got a meeting set up with Johnny's old partner.
We're gonna start a missing persons thing.
No, but shouldn't that be happening already?
Well, I mean, technically you gotta wait 24 hours.
But we'll get him to put a jump on it.
I-if you hear anything, call us.
This is all my fault.
Goddamn it.
Shit.
Just find our daughter, Tommy.
If it is the last thing that you ever do for me, you find her, and you bring her home.
[Groans] God.
Are you wearing a thong?
Yep.
Don't know why.
Take another one.
Ok, enough is enough.
Colleen, how many you got?
Jeez.
I feel like Brad and Angelina Jolie, except I don't have her tits or vagina.
You can have mine.
[laughs] There's never any hot guys in this shit hole.
You know what?
This is a shit hole.
I don't know why a good-lookin' broad like you's in here.
Well, I told you.
My...
my son, he's like the manager or...
I'm sure he's a...
Oh!
There he is.
Hank!
Come here a second.
Hey.
Come to mommy.
Look at what I found.
A fireman.
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
Yeah.
And this is his darling daughter, Colleen.
It's Colleen.
Colleen.
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, any word on Colleen?
No.
How's Janet holding up?
Aw, great.
She went back to the apartment to see if, uh, Colleen shows up.
Hey, did I, uh...
did I show up at your apartment last night?
You don't remember?
Uh, fuzzy.
Uh, yeah.
You showed up, and you were high as a balloon at the goddamn Macy's parade.
Was, uh...
who was there?
Was there any...
was there somebody else?
What do you mean?
Was Mickey there?
Mickey who?
Mickey the mouse.
Mickey.
Uh-huh.
Ok, what would Mickey be doing at my apartment in the middle of the night?
Is he out?
Right.
Huh.
[groans] Pretty girl, but no.
I never seen her in here before.
Well, this would have been last night.
Didn't see her last night.
But you were here?
Last night?
Yeah.
No.
Wait.
This is last night you're askin' about?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, what?
I wasn't here.
Who was here?
Lots of people, I imagine, folks drinkin' and what.
No, no, no.
We mean tending bar.
My brother, Seamus.
He'll be here in about 20 minutes if you care to wait.
Maybe we should hang, dude, you know?
This is the last Henderson's in the city, and it'll save us the drive if it is the right place, right?
Good point, bro.
Again.
God, you're on fire.
I am on fire, dude.
We'll hang.
Guys.
Are you gentleman police officers?
FDNY.
Well, set yourselves down.
I'll pour you a little somethin' free of charge.
Ah, hey.
Thanks, man.
Sweet, dude.
I feel shitty sayin' it, but I can get used to this whole missing persons thing.
What about a...
what about another drink, Tom?
Maybe it'll help nudge some more information up to the surface.
Oh, God.
I don't...
What are you doin' here, Tommy?
Why are you still here?
You know, if she was my child, you know, my own flesh and blood, I wouldn't be sittin' here on my ass, waitin' for her to sashay through the door.
I'd be out there right now looking under every goddamn rock in every city!
Listen, I...
No, I don't give a shit!
All right?!
No, no, you lost her!
You find her!
Now, Tommy!
You find her!
[Cell phone rings] I think...
goddamn it.
Come here.
[Ring] Hello.
No, I think you have the wrong number.
My friend from last night?
Alice?
Jean.
Jean.
Where did we meet?
[Both moaning] Hey.
Where are you goin'?
We're just gonna watch some TV up in Hank's room.
Oh, let 'em go and have some fun.
They're both good kids.
It's not like anything bad's gonna happen.
I mean, she's got condoms.
Heh heh.
Ok.
Wait a minute.
What?
Th-th...
whoa.
WA.
Whoa.
Condoms?
Sorry.
I mean...
uhh.
Shit.
Good.
Good.
[Clatter] Ok.
That's it.
Let's get your jacket...
No.
You know what?
No!
Actually, forget your jacket.
We're not getting your jacket.
No, daddy!
Stop it!
Let's go.
No!
You can make a new jacket out of your...
your condoms.
You...
Go ahead.
Hey.
Come on, honey.
Condoms...
I can't believe that you are wearing a thong.
Ok, of all the reactions I've had to that particular situation, this is the first one that involves anger.
Did I not ask you twice, twice to wear a thong?
Once, 2 Easters ago, um, with the Tequila, and then on fourth of July on the beach with the champagne.
It was 3 times, OK?
You're forgetting the rosh hashana bender.
I guess you just don't buy enough alcohol.
Or I don't buy cheap polyester, "look at me.
I'm a whore," colored thong.
Ok, I'm not a whore, all right?
I...
Did you sleep with her, or did you just go through her panty drawer?
I don't remember, OK?
I do remember this...
her name is Jean, and she had a great ass and great tits, and she had legs that went on for...
Tommy.
You stud.
Ha ha.
I never thought I'd see you again, you know, after the way you stormed out last night.
Hi.
Hi.
Ooh.
Is Jean home?
Oh, you silly.
Come here.
Oh, come on.
[giggles] She didn't come back here, as far as I know.
Well, maybe she met up with your son.
Is he here?
You could ask him, maybe.
No skin off my hump.
Hank!
What?!
Can you come down for a sec?
I'm busy!
Probably masturbatin'.
He...
he sees a therapist about it.
Come down.
We have guests.
Damn it!
I...
I think I might have a pair of your earrings.
Oh, it can't be mine.
No, see, my...
my lobes, they...
they're prone to infection.
Oh, good.
So I'm not the only one.
Are you missing any underwear?
Uhh.
I don't wear underwear.
Oh.
Hank!
Be nice.
You remember Tommy from last night.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't recognize you without your tongue halfway down my mother's throat.
That's not pleasant.
Kiss my balls?
You know, maybe if I did, you wouldn't jerk off so much.
I don't jerk off!
Sorry.
So, uh, Jean, this, uh...
this bar where you met Tommy and Colleen last night, where exactly is that?
We're thinking about maybe stoppin' over there and checkin' the place out.
Oh, it's really close by, but I don't know where Henderson's is.
See, we met at a place called the Rockaway Beach Inn.
I know every bar for miles around.
There's no Henderson's.
Well, it's not like we expected to find her waitin' for us in there.
No, but we are gonna find her, Tommy.
I know, but she could be 50 feet away in some basement here.
She could be 50 miles away in, you know, some back alley.
How cold do you think it's gonna get tonight?
Don't worry.
We'll find her.
We are.
We will.
We are gonna find her.
I say we grab some coffee, we assemble whatever troops we have, he head back to the Rockaways, we do an organized search, and we don't leave until we find her.
Maybe Mickey and Teddy already have some information...
[Laughter] About...
Hi.
Hi.
[Laughs] Remember me?
Sh-yeah.
I'm sorry for showing up unannounced, but, um, I'd just like my earrings back.
Of course you can have your earrings back.
I have them right here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but I took a few pictures last night of us, but mostly of you.
Someone was too shitfaced to perform.
Ohh.
I-I'm sorry, but what...
what was your name again?
Before I forget, you owe me $14 for a new bottle of creme de menthe.
The only booze I had in the place, and he drained it.
That would explain the green lips.
Ok, you said somethin' about some pictures.
Yeah.
Well, he was in my bed, and nothing was happening, so I thought I'd have some fun, so I got my earrings and some hair extensions...
Oh, yeah.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
That's my favorite.
Let me see.
[Laughter] All right, let me see.
Oh, my God.
It's really not that funny.
My heart.
You are my new best friend.
Ok, everybody's had their little fun.
You got your earrings.
I think we're done here.
See, now you've made him mad.
Now you won't get your thong back.
You have no right to be angry...
I mean...
I'm the one who ended up with an empty bottle of creme de menthe and a bedroom full of sand.
Good-bye, everybody.
Good-bye!!
- Bye.
Unh!
2!
All right.
All right, the last time I'm gonna say it.
Goddamn it!
Fine!
3!
3!
God...
[Brakes squeal] [Car doors close] Sheila, you come with me.
Lou, grab the other guys.
Go to that side.
We'll cover this side, uh, the far side of the dunes.
You cover this side.
Sean!
You guys head South.
Franco.
Yeah?
You follow me.
Tommy, where do you want me?!
Come with me.
Colleen!
Colleen!
You guys go that way, all right?
Colleen!
Colleen!
[Distant yell] Colleen!
Colleen!
Colleen!
[Buoy bell dinging] [Foghorn blowing] Colleen!
The prodigal bum returns.
I hate you!
Get outta here!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
[Glass shatters] Unh!
Go ahead!
Get in the truck, goddamn it!
One last chance.
Colleen!
Colleen!
Hey!
I got her!
He got her!
Hey!
Guys, you guys, he found her!
Ahh.
Colleen.
Oh, no.
Coll.
Col?
Colleen?
hey, hey.
[Coughing] Hey.
Hey.
Is she alive?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, OK.
Ok.
She's cold.
Let me give her a coat.
Here you go.
Ah, Christ.
Hey, give me your jacket.
Give me your jacket.
Tommy, I'll call Janet.
Hey, Coll.
It's OK.
We got you.
Hey.
Ok.
Ok.
Daddy?
Yes.
What is it, baby?
Ok.
All right.
[Waves crashing] Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com