TV-Serie: Rescue Me - 6x4
Previously on "Rescue Me..."
And when I told you when I died I didn't see anything...
- Yeah?
I lied.
I saw something.
Tommy!
You said you'd come back to get me.
Tommy!
Sean.
Pat.
What's up, bro?
Of course it's from ground zero.
32-year-old men don't get kidney cancer.
I mean, mine's in the lungs, so it's obvious where it came from.
Is Franco there?
Janet just wants to say hey.
Oh, cool.
Hey, Jan-Jan.
What's going on?
I'm...I'm jealous.
You realize that's ridiculous, right?
We're brothers, bro.
Can I just point out that my actual brother, my real brother, had an affair with my wife?
That, my dear nephew, is a rare bottle of Irish whiskey.
We've come to the conclusion...
That you're a lost cause, and now we've got to cut you loose.
We are having a huge cookout, and we are going to stuff them all full of free food.
Great public relations.
Get them in here, load them up, you know, then have them call the Mayor's office.
West Side wild men, 8 blocks over.
Listen to this.
The Mayor's thinking about shutting down their house.
So they're having a pig roast.
So how's it feel to play second fiddle to the best house in Harlem?
Second fiddle, my ass.
We were here first.
Here.
I'll do it.
Better get a phone number out of this.
His or mine?
I'm a priest!
This is my parish!
Get her out.
God bless you.
You saved Mary.
There's a hole in her.
Something's wrong with Lou.
6 hours.
6 hours, and not one morsel of information about what's going on.
It's like an episode of "Lost" in this joint, only our fat guy might die.
Hospitals are the most depressing place on the planet, you know.
Hey, no news is good news, right?
He had no pulse, Mike.
So no news is bad news?
Mike, you know what?
Shut up.
Just shut up.
It's Lou.
It's...You know.
No news is...Lou news.
Are you here for lieutenant Shea?
Yes, we are.
You can see him now.
Is he awake?
Yeah, he's up.
Hey, guys.
What's happening?
Come on in.
How are you, pal?
I'm doing good, man.
I'm doing good.
Good to see you.
Hey, that's my bunkmate over there.
I call him Wheezer.
I'll tell you why in a minute.
Hey, look, I appreciate all of these concerned looks, but, guys, really, I'm ok.
You don't look ok, Lou.
You look like shit.
I'll tell you, I feel fine.
I don't even mind sticking around here, you know.
The cook-off's not for another what, like, 10 days?
And they got me hooked up with this really nice nutrition lady.
She's got a lot of great ideas about diet and exercise.
[Loud wheezing] That's why.
Hello, Mr.
Shea.
Hello, Hillary.
Looks like you've got visitors already.
I do.
Guys, this is Hillary, and Hillary, these are the guys.
Hi, Hillary.
How are you?
This poor lady has the job of making me into a thin man.
After she negotiates peace in the Middle East.
Yeah.
And gets Rush Limbaugh to share his Viagra with Kanye West.
Yeah.
See, this is the positive reinforcement I was talking about.
Well, do something positive, and we'll reinforce it, you fat bastard.
Yeah, like lose a goddamn chin.
Or 2.
Or 6.
Is that really necessary?
Sweetheart, we work in a firehouse.
So, like, brutal honestly is our currency in trade.
And he's fat.
Like, super fat.
Way fat.
Too fat.
You see?
You have a giant mole on your face.
Your eyes are too far apart.
[Men chuckling] You have Mr.
potato head lips.
You both look mentally challenged.
Your skin Your skin is the color of Elmer's glue.
And you, Owen Wilson called, said he wants his nose back.
[Men laughing] The truth hurts sometimes.
Think about that next time you're making jokes at your friend's expense.
Now, if you don't mind, Mr.
Shea and I need to discuss his future well-being.
Beat it.
Yes, we do.
All right, Lou.
See you later.
See you.
Feel better.
Um, when you say my eyes are too far apart...
I said beat it.
It's called a beauty mark.
Ok?
Sync by n17t01 Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com ♪ on another day c'mon, c'mon with these ropes I tied can we do no wrong?
Now we grieve 'cause now is gone things were good when we were young with my teeth locked down I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone now we grieve 'cause now is gone things were good when we were young is it safe to say?
C'mon, c'mon was it right to leave?
C'mon, c'mon will I ever learn?
C'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪ You guys think my eyes are too far apart?
Hey, maybe that's why you're such a good point guard, you know...
peripheral vision.
Quiet, probie.
I'm talking to grown folks here.
Seriously, yo, this shit has, like, been keeping me up all night.
Yeah.
Well, no wonder.
Every time you turn your head to one side or another, an eye's hitting the pillow.
Aw...
All right.
Listen up.
We are busting the fat man out of the hospital tonight.
The West Side wild men found out that Lou was going to be in the hospital a week, and they moved their cookout up to this weekend.
If we're going to do the proper food prep, we've got to move now.
Wait a second, Chief, the guy just had a heart attack.
Hey, this is war, gentleman.
And in war you put your personal safety aside for the benefit of the whole.
That's right.
If Lou's not at that cookout, then the West Side Wild Men have the advantage.
They're going to win the hearts and the minds of the whole neighborhood, and we're done.
Yep.
The next thing you know, the department's nailing up the windows and doors of this place, and we're either in the wind or reassigned to some shit hole like Bedstuy or Staten Island.
Yeah.
So we're breaking him out.
And when is this great escape taking place?
Tonight.
Tonight?
No, I can't do it.
What do you mean, you can't do it?
I got a date with Penny.
Who the hell is Penny?
You know, Penny, the hot probie chick from the West Side.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave the war room, Damien.
Why?
Because you're sleeping with the enemy.
Not yet.
Hey, maybe this is a good thing for us.
You know what I mean?
He can get the...Secrets.
Oh, yeah.
Like a spy.
Yes.
Yeah.
He could, like, pump her for information.
Yeah, Mike, if I'm going to be pumping her, you can bet your ass it won't be for information...
Unless it's for information on where to put my cock.
What?
You don't know where to put your cock?
Well, I may have options.
Somebody fill me in here.
How is it that this little peckerwood has usurped me as the resident pussy hound in this house?
Maybe because I'm not made of plastic, Mr.
Potato Head.
Potato Head!
Potato Head!
Knock it off.
Tommy and I stole these uniforms, all right?
You are going to be the doctor, Franco, and you two are going to be orderlies.
Uh, wait.
Why does Franco get to be the doctor?
Oh, please.
Why can't I be the doctor?
We really need to go there?
A brother has just as much chance of being a doctor as a puerto rican.
Neither one of you really do have a chance, but if I had to pick one, I'd put my money on the Puerto Rican.
Score one for Puerto Rico.
No, no, chief.
There's plenty of black doctors that are out there.
You know it.
Name one.
Dr.
Bill Cosby.
Name another.
Dr.
Huxtable.
Same guy.
One's make-believe, don't count.
Dr.
J.
Nah, nah.
Basketball player.
Got anything else?
Reverend Al Sharpton.
What?
I don't know.
Any time black people get caught in a corner, we just use that as a code name, throwing the rev out.
See, this is one of your problems.
You don't talk white good, and Franco talks perfect white.
Franco, talk some white.
I'd be very happy to, Thomas.
Hello.
I am Dr.
Francisco Rivera.
Ok?
Perfect Caucasian.
Yeah.
It's easy.
I just clench my ass cheeks together as tight as I can and think about egg salad sandwiches.
All right.
Ok.
Well, how come I can't be the orderly?
Because we didn't want to make the orderly a black guy cause that's racist.
Hey, what would Reverend Al say then?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Are you guys from ladder 62?
Yes.
Father Phil Bingham.
How are you, father?
Holy redeemer.
I wanted to drop by to apologize for my behavior the other night.
You did a brave thing pulling me and sister Rosemary and the statue of our holy mother to safety.
And I wasn't very gracious about the chip in Mary's ass.
So for that, I apologize.
You guys are doing God's work.
Every single one of you deserves a first-class ticket to his kingdom.
Of course, we don't want to make that any time too soon.
I have a receipt here for the statue.
I was thinking maybe the department had a reimbursement policy, you know, for property that was damaged.
Maybe you could process that.
Well, geez, if it's only like a couple of hundred bucks, I'm sure we'd be willing to chip in, right, guys?
What do you need, father?
Jesus Christ.
40 grand?
Oh, my God, man.
That's an expensive piece of ass.
Well, she's a virgin.
She's 700 years old.
Father, look, this is the FDNY.
I mean, it's not American Express.
I understand.
Don't you have fire insurance?
The Catholic Church hardly has a pot to piss in, after all the bread we spent on lawyers and silenced those goddamn child molesters.
They put us in the poorhouse, which is probably where we belong.
You know, padre, I really don't think we can help you out.
I mean, we just put out the fires and save the people, you know.
No sweat, fellas.
I'm not trying to put my hands in anybody's pockets...
Unlike those pocket-pool perverts I was talking about a minute ago.
May God protect you from every danger and bless your families, especially in your absence.
Fellas, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
Thank you, father.
We work the same hours you do.
Uh, father.
Quick question.
If you had to say...
Oh, come on.
No, no, no.
Wait a minute.
I think that the padre might have an opinion in the matter, and I'd like to know who do you think has a better shot at being a doctor...
a black man or a Puerto Rican?
Puerto Rican.
No question.
But bless you all...
black guys, Puerto Rican guys, even you Irish knuckleheads.
Thank you, father.
Banner day for my people.
[Elevator dings] Doctor.
Hello, doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Hey, Frank.
Yeah?
I don't think we're in the right wing, dude.
Nah, nah, nah, dude.
We were just here yesterday.
Relax.
I think, but none of this shit really looks familiar, does it?
Well, I don't know, man.
Maybe we took the wrong elevator up.
I don't know.
You think maybe we should ask somebody?
Yeah.
Great thinking, double-o-nothing.
A doctor asking for directions in the hospital is not gonna raise any eyebrows?
OK, let's just stick together and keep looking, ok?
Yeah.
Yo.
Where the hell is Sean?
Garrity?
Hi.
It's Mahoney.
Pat Mahoney.
Oh, my God.
Christ, man.
Long time, no see.
What the hell are you doing here?
I have cancer.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
How's that going, by the way?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, I thought you were out of the woods.
No, I'm so deep in the woods, bears are wiping their asses with me.
What's with the getup?
Oh, it's nothing.
It's really...
I'm not supposed to say.
But, Lou, he had a heart attack, and we're busting him out because we've got this cook-off coming up...
shit.
No, no.
Don't worry.
Your secret is safe with me.
Really?
You promise?
I might be dead by the time I have a chance to spill the goddamn beans.
Oh, come on, man.
Don't talk like that.
Really, you're going to be fine.
Hey, you got to bust me out, too.
What?
I can't stand it here, man.
The pills, the chemo.
The doctors think they're saving me, but really they're just killing me slower.
I got my own ideas about how to spend my last days, but they keep telling me I've got to stay in this hell hole.
But now I got a way out.
Oh, hey, yeah.
I don't know, man.
I mean, our plan is pretty complex.
[Coughing] Holy...
are you ok?
Yeah.
Cancer.
You know, it's...
do you have a baby wipe or something?
No offense.
No.
All right.
So I'm just going to tell you straight up, the guys in my house wanted me to try to get information about your cookout.
Yeah.
Same with the guys in my house.
Oh, really?
So...
How do we handle this?
We ignore it, and we have a good time.
And then you tell me later.
And when are you going to tell me?
It depends on how good of a time you show me.
Ha.
All right.
You look really pretty.
Ha.
Is something wrong with pretty?
No.
It's, um...
it's just a nickname that I had in high school...
Pretty Penny.
I hated the shit out of that nickname.
Well, in some countries, it's a compliment.
Yeah, in my country is inaccurate.
I don't like pretty things.
I like action.
I like getting my hands dirty and sweating, being physical.
I mean, that's why I'm a firefighter.
You know, you could have saved yourself some danger and become a landscaper.
I like the danger, too.
Plus, daddy wasn't a landscaper.
He was a firefighter, like yours.
You know about my dad?
Yeah.
He's a legend.
I mean, he's the reason why you signed up, isn't he?
Uh...Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, there were other reasons, too, namely to piss off my mother and my uncle.
Those were pretty big reasons actually, but, uh...
Yeah.
No, I mean...
The real reason is my dad.
It's a heavy load.
You know, I used to think he didn't like me...
my dad.
Because, um...
I never really showed much interest in the job when he was, you know...Around.
Yeah, but look at you now.
I bet he's proud.
Right.
Well, he's not proud.
He's dead.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I...
it's weird.
I don't really talk about this shit with people...
Ever.
Damn, you must really want info about that cookout.
Ha ha.
Want to get wasted?
Yes.
Please.
Hey.
What the hell?
Sorry.
I got lost.
This place is like a giant goddamn germ-infested maze.
Hey, is that balls-out Mahoney?
Hey, Lou.
How you doing?
Cancer.
You?
Heart attack.
Lucky man.
By the way, guys, we're busting him out, too.
Don't worry.
I'll be as quiet as a...
[Coughing loudly] A mouse.
I'm guessing.
This could be a problem, guys.
No, it only happens when...
[Coughing loudly] [Man wheezing loudly] Anyone got any dynamite or a foghorn they want to blow off?
Yeah, this is...
we're not doing this.
No offense, Pat, but the plan's already in place.
It's too complicated.
Yeah.
No, I don't want to go into work for you.
No, that's bullshit.
He's coming with us.
That's bullshit.
This isn't part of the plan.
Oh, come on.
Plans are for pussies, all right?
How many times have you run into a fire and actually stick to the plan?
Once, twice, out of ten?
Maybe?
He's coming with us, screw your plan.
You just settle down.
No.
We're not leaving him here.
What's the matter with you?
The guy's dying because he spent every day for 8 months cleaning up the shit down at ground zero.
You said it yourself.
If this is a war, then we're an army, right?
A guy runs out on the battlefield, picks up a fallen comrade, he's as brave as the hero he's picking up.
Am I wrong?
Am I wrong?
We take care of our own.
Pat took care of our guys.
We take care of Pat.
End of story.
Mmm...
Well, better put your party hat on there, Patty boy.
Looks like you're coming with us.
Put this on.
You keep your head down.
You guys take him out the north exit.
We're going to take Lou out the south.
All right?
Black Shawn, come on.
Let's go.
Ha ha.
Doctor, doctor, give me the news, son.
No, no, no, no.
Mike, switch your shit with him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait.
Wait.
I thought it was racist, making a brother an orderly.
Hey, you've got down syndrome.
Ok?
You're lucky you have a job.
Let's go.
Change up.
I ain't got down syndrome.
Come on, Mike.
Hurry up.
What about me?
Let's go.
Let's go.
Orderly, please.
Careful, careful.
Jesus!
It's going to be to the left here.
To the left.
Easy, easy.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Jesus Christ, if you drive my truck the way you're driving this thing...
Yeah, bring the truck around to the front so we can get the hell free.
You're crushing the doctor.
Hit the button.
To the right, orderly.
To the right.
Hit the button.
[Elevator dings] Hey.
What's happening?
What are you doing?
Get on.
Get on.
Shit.
Oh, my God.
What are you shitiots up to?
We're just checking Lou out a little ahead of schedule.
That's all.
All right.
Is that allowed?
I wouldn't be wearing this uniform if it were, but it does suit me, don't you think?
Hey, why are we going up?
I hit the ground floor button.
Well, hit it again, Corky.
Yeah, listen.
He doesn't really look good enough to go.
He's fine.
Yeah.
We need him back at the house for the cook-off.
Oh, my God.
You are breaking him out of the hospital for a goddamn cook-off?
Maybe it's not the best idea in the world.
There is nothing more important than that cook-off.
Huh.
How about your friend's life?
Hmm?
What life would that be?
Ok?
We lose the cook-off, we lose the house.
Without the house and without us, Lou is lost in the world.
He could walk right into the nearest olive garden and use that never-ending pasta bowl like a loaded .45.
It's true.
Sorry, folks.
Swine flu.
Highly contagious.
Nasty.
[All coughing] All right, you jokers.
This is where I cut out.
Listen, Lou-Lou, honey.
Yes?
[Loud kiss] Do not let these animals kill you, right?
Ok, honey pie.
Thank you.
You look great.
What?
What's that you said?
I said you look great.
Thank you.
[Horn honks] [Laughter] Holy shit!
Dude, you totally almost got hit by that taxi.
That would have been ironic, huh?
Never mind.
That was amazing.
I haven't laughed that hard since the government sent me that thank-you letter for working at ground zero instead of helping me pay for my medical bills.
Hey, should we go celebrate with a couple brewskis?
Better yet, why don't the two of us go and you meet us there later after you give Flavor Flav his clothes back, ok?
What do you want to do?
You want to hit the hustler club?
[Coughing loudly] You all right?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit.
Uh, maybe we should go back.
Yeah.
Come on.
Come on, Mike.
[Coughing continues] So you're the doctor in charge?
Um, yes.
As a matter of fact, I am.
See, you wouldn't think that, now, would you, doctor?
Orderly, I'm going to step aside with the doctor.
We're going to have a little doctor-to-doctor.
Watch the body.
Hey, I'm still alive, doc.
Yeah.
Go get the truck, you idiot.
What were we talking about?
Show me your identification, doctor...
Rico.
Richards.
Rico Richards.
Yeah.
My mother's Puerto Rican, and my father's Jewish, which explains why I graduated from the top of my class at Johns Hopkins University, and the Puerto Rican part, I...
I think the jig is up.
No, not yet.
He's laying down that Latin magic.
And making eye contact.
Look at that.
Like a dagger through the heart.
I'll tell you all about it over coffee.
You know, with a face like that, you've got to wonder why the hell he became a smoke eater.
Simple math, Lou.
You take his face, you multiply it by our job, and you end up with a grand total of...
Pussy.
Class dismissed.
Son of a bitch.
Look at this.
If I had that power...
You'd eat it.
I'll see you.
Bye.
Coast is clear, gentlemen.
Dr.
Richards saves the day.
Thank you, doctor.
Shall we?
I believe we're going this way.
The lady's on our side.
There he is.
Hey, pal.
Hey.
Oh, you're still here.
Yeah, man.
Of course.
I figured you'd seen enough of me after last night.
Hey, you know what?
Why don't you lay back, take a load off, will you?
Yeah.
Whoo.
This sucks.
[Breathes deeply] I'm going to die in this room.
I'm going to die in this room, and nobody's going to give a shit.
No...plaques, no parades, no...
scholarships in my name.
So, what did I do it for?
Why did I put my ass on the line after the fact?
Because...
That's what we've always done.
That's what we do, right?
It's our job.
You know what?
Don't worry about anything.
Ok?
You're in good hands.
I'm going to take care of everything.
I wish I could say that's a comforting sentiment.
Yeah.
I...
Wish I knew how to back it up.
Ha ha.
Got any ideas?
I'll come up with something.
I just...
Hey.
Hey.
Eat.
Eat, please.
Wow.
Yep.
We've got mini Cuban sandwiches...
Holy shit.
Pastrami puffs, pizza rolls.
Probably the best I've ever cooked.
Ok.
What gives?
Because usually if you're standing in a sea of cheese like this, you'd be doing an Irish jig.
Yeah, I know.
I was just, you know, recently diagnosed as being an emotional eater.
Diagnosed?
Yes.
By who?
My nurse, Hillary.
She's a genius.
Yeah, but you know what?
She hit it right on the head.
I mean, I eat when I'm up.
I eat when I'm down.
I eat when I'm melancholy.
I eat when the Mets lose.
I eat basically during all of my waking hours.
I mean, I'm like a shark.
For Christ's sakes, I've had, like, 3 of each of these things.
You know, I'm thinking of calling ahead to the hospital and reserving a better room.
I think I should probably take this shit out of here, because it sounds like you're going to eat yourself to death.
I think that's kind of the point of being an emotional eater.
You know...Ha.
You're not the only one who, uh...
Who died around here lately, pal.
I mean, I think I went out, too.
I mean, I'm pretty sure of it.
Blackness, I had visions.
Except I didn't really see anything at first.
It was more of a...
It was more of a smell.
What did you smell?
Well, I smelled a bakery.
A bakery?
It wasn't toast.
It was a real bakery.
And then I just had this feeling.
Uh-huh.
I know what you mean.
Waves of...
Dread.
No.
Joy.
It was the most incredible joyous feeling.
I mean, it's not like winning at the track or banging a beautiful broad, you know, who's way out of your league.
It was just the most peaceful...
[sighs deeply] Content, happy...Ha ha...Joy.
It was insane.
Ok.
What did you see?
And then I saw my mother.
And she was a zombie.
No.
No, Tom.
She was my mother.
She was just the way that I remembered her as a kid.
I was sitting in the old kitchen.
She was on the phone with my aunt Lee, and she was working the stove, and I was sitting at the table, and I was licking cupcake icing.
Cupcake icing?
Chocolate.
And she got up to hang up the phone, and she walked past me, and she just...
She just brushed the back of my head with her hand, like she used to.
And Tom, I swear to God, I can still feel her hand there.
Ok.
And then...[ahem] There was like...[ahem] Foreboding or darkness or...
No.
The only pain and suffering I felt was having to leave.
But the thought that that's what's waiting for me and to know that I'm going to probably...
go back there, I mean, I'm kind of looking forward to it.
Bullshit.
Tom, I'm telling you...
You didn't die.
You did not die.
You were dreaming.
Well, you believe what you want.
Seriously, you...You know...
You got icing and a bakery?
Ha ha ha.
This is what you think that, you know, going to the other side is?
You know, zombies.
Ok?
You know...You know, fear.
Burning, you know.
That's death.
That's your death.
I'm a little different.
Oh, you're like...
Some kind of goddamn saint.
You get to go to a bakery.
How does that happen?
I just think I'm a better person.
Ha.
Well, you asked.
Do you want to add up bad shit?
Is that what you want to do?
Do you want to have a bad-shit contest?
Because if you...
all the bad things I've done and all the bad things you've done?
Come on.
That's a pretty equal cheat sheet.
That's not a contest, Tommy.
You want an example?
Yeah.
- Okay.
Candy.
Candy, a hooker you ripped off so you could live in this beautiful apartment you're living in.
Here we go again with candy.
Why don't you just let it drop, Tom?
I was the victim there.
Why is that different?
Because, Tom, for Christ's sakes, she went after me.
She got what she deserved, Tom, all right?
She asked for it, and she deserved it.
Ok?
Katie, Colleen, Janet, Connor...
they didn't deserve it.
They were innocent bystanders.
You're supposed to protect them.
Protect and serve.
Oh, for Christ's sakes.
You know, Tommy, I could drop dead tomorrow.
You could drop dead tomorrow, and what would we get?
A plaque on the wall, guys go out drinking for a night.
Ok?
2 new guys would be in here like that to replace us.
And you know what?
Maybe they'd do a better job, maybe they'd do a worse job.
But they'd replace us.
There ain't no replacing a father, Tom.
You only get one.
You should start thinking about that, because maybe then you'd be smelling bakeries for eternity, just like me.
Ha.
Hey!
What are you doing here?
I'm from 62 truck.
I was here.
I'm a fireman.
We were here for the fire.
What were you doing with the infant of Prague?
I was just touching his...
her...
His dress?
I was just...
What's your name again?
Thomas Gavin.
Thomas Gavin.
Holy Irish.
Come on in.
Leave his dress alone.
Drink?
Well, I'm actually on kind of a wine-only diet right now.
Is red ok?
Because we've got plenty of that.
Yeah.
All right.
Sorry about the bat.
This arson situation has us on our toes.
Sister Rosemary sleeps with a knife under her pillow.
So...They're thinking it might be arson, huh?
So says the marshal.
I'd say, "who would want to burn a church?"
But then again, who hasn't wanted to burn a church every once in a while?
It's so easy for people to hate the things they don't understand instead of loving them.
You and I both know...
[clink] that most people, especially in this country, are lazy self-obsessed slobs.
Thomas Gavin doesn't take the easy way, does he?
Well, to be honest with you, father, if there was an easy way out, I'd probably take it in a heartbeat, you know.
Nah, I don't think so.
And I don't think you came out here tonight to talk about the fire.
No, I didn't.
Um...
you know, to be honest again, father, I'm not the world's greatest catholic.
[Sighs] But I've had this thing lately, recently, this life-altering experience.
I won't go into all the details, but I...
I died, and I went briefly, I think, to the other side.
And you know, what I do for a living, you know, we see a lot of stuff, a lot of...
A lot of bad things, you know.
Hell on earth.
You'd think.
But when I...
When I had this experience, I'm telling you, when I went to that other side, I saw things that make the things I see at work just seem like a bad day at the beach, I'm telling you.
You think you went to hell.
Well, either I went to hell, or I went to the shittiest beach...
I didn't mean to say that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't...
It doesn't mean shit to me.
Ah.
Ok.
So, you know, I went over there, and I saw...I don't know.
So...
So...What now?
Right.
What?
You want me to tell you?
Yeah.
I thought that...
I thought you might have some answers.
No.
Nobody can answer that question.
Um, but I thought you guys...
No, nobody but you, anyway.
No, this is what I do know...
That in times of duress like these, we have to find stability.
We have to solidify our grounding.
Who is one person that's been there with you through the thick and the thin?
Through my adult life?
Hmm...
Tommy, it's not a hard question.
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
Um...I'm...
I would have to go with...
My wife.
You're married.
Yes.
Barely.
Yeah.
Kids?
2 kids.
2 1/2.
By...We had a kid that died, and now I inherited my brother's son because he...
My brother died.
Anything there you might salvage, with your kids?
That would be, like, some pretty...
A pretty deep dive.
I mean, by...
Especially with my wife.
It's kind of shark-infested waters.
You got a picture?
Um...Yeah.
Um, let me see.
These are...The girls.
I don't have a picture of the baby.
And that's...That's my wife.
It looks like that's been through the wash a few times.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
When's the last time you took a good look at this picture?
I just looked at it when I was giving it to you.
Well, take another look.
No, Tommy, I really want you to take a good look at it.
Really look at it.
I'm looking at it.
Well, it's been a long time since I've known the company of a woman, other than Sister Rosemary.
But I can tell by just looking at that picture, that that is a woman you don't let slip away.
That is a woman you tussle for.
So maybe...
Maybe, that's "what now?"
Can I keep this?
Well, that's the only...
That's the only copy I have of that particular...
photograph, so I kind of...
I need it, you know.
You sure?
Yeah.
That's it.
Thanks.
Thank you very much.
It was...
24/7.
Always open.
Thank you, Franco.
No problem.
Of course, the moment that I need Tommy, he goes off the radar, and here you are, taking care of business.
Yeah.
Well, that's his M.O., right?
Yeah.
Where would I be without you?
From the looks of things, probably washing your dishes in the bathtub.
Speaking of, I'm very dirty.
I'm going to do a quick change.
Ok?
Yeah, sure.
Take your time.
Hey.
How's Lou doing?
Oh, he's, uh...
He's all right, I guess.
He could probably stand to exercise a little bit more.
A little less food, you know.
That's no secret.
Yeah.
You know, he could eat better.
Maybe take fewer naps or...
Something.
Yeah.
I really should have visited him in the hospital.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm sure he forgives you.
[Pipes rattle] Oh, goddamn!
Shit!
Hey, are you ok?
I cut myself.
Damn it.
God, you're bleeding.
It's not that bad.
It's like a nick, you know.
Does that hurt?
Yeah, a little bit.
Ha.
I'm all right.
Sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Janet, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
That was so far out of line.
I don't even...
it's like some kind of weird sickness with me, you know.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
You're Tommy's wife.
You know, he's my friend.
I don't even know what...
I'm sorry.
No, there's nothing to be sorry about.
Yeah, you know what?
There is.
Ok?
Because, you know, that was low, even for me.
I've gone to depths that would kill most men, so...
Seriously, stop beating yourself up.
Ok?
It's...
Look, nothing happened.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess, you know.
I mean, it's not like I threw you up on the counter or something, you know.
You know, it's not like Tommy and I are even officially together.
Ok?
So don't...
You know, I'm not saying that...
Right.
Yeah.
I mean...
Of course not.
So, I mean...
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
Oh, you know, just...
you, uh...
You have a busted...
A clogged pipe, you know, drain.
Yeah.
And so I called him to fix it.
She tried to call you, but, you know...
Well, he was close by.
So he came...by.
I didn't want you to get your floor, you know, wet...
or ruined.
And then he cut himself.
You all right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm good.
You know, it's, uh...
It's nothing, you know.
I think, you know, you might have a little, um...
Like, rust under there.
Hmm.
How was your day?
It was good.
Good.
Good.
What?
You two have got...
to be shitting me.
Tom, what are you...
Oh, ho.
T.
Tommy.
Un...believable.
And when I told you when I died I didn't see anything...
- Yeah?
I lied.
I saw something.
Tommy!
You said you'd come back to get me.
Tommy!
Sean.
Pat.
What's up, bro?
Of course it's from ground zero.
32-year-old men don't get kidney cancer.
I mean, mine's in the lungs, so it's obvious where it came from.
Is Franco there?
Janet just wants to say hey.
Oh, cool.
Hey, Jan-Jan.
What's going on?
I'm...I'm jealous.
You realize that's ridiculous, right?
We're brothers, bro.
Can I just point out that my actual brother, my real brother, had an affair with my wife?
That, my dear nephew, is a rare bottle of Irish whiskey.
We've come to the conclusion...
That you're a lost cause, and now we've got to cut you loose.
We are having a huge cookout, and we are going to stuff them all full of free food.
Great public relations.
Get them in here, load them up, you know, then have them call the Mayor's office.
West Side wild men, 8 blocks over.
Listen to this.
The Mayor's thinking about shutting down their house.
So they're having a pig roast.
So how's it feel to play second fiddle to the best house in Harlem?
Second fiddle, my ass.
We were here first.
Here.
I'll do it.
Better get a phone number out of this.
His or mine?
I'm a priest!
This is my parish!
Get her out.
God bless you.
You saved Mary.
There's a hole in her.
Something's wrong with Lou.
6 hours.
6 hours, and not one morsel of information about what's going on.
It's like an episode of "Lost" in this joint, only our fat guy might die.
Hospitals are the most depressing place on the planet, you know.
Hey, no news is good news, right?
He had no pulse, Mike.
So no news is bad news?
Mike, you know what?
Shut up.
Just shut up.
It's Lou.
It's...You know.
No news is...Lou news.
Are you here for lieutenant Shea?
Yes, we are.
You can see him now.
Is he awake?
Yeah, he's up.
Hey, guys.
What's happening?
Come on in.
How are you, pal?
I'm doing good, man.
I'm doing good.
Good to see you.
Hey, that's my bunkmate over there.
I call him Wheezer.
I'll tell you why in a minute.
Hey, look, I appreciate all of these concerned looks, but, guys, really, I'm ok.
You don't look ok, Lou.
You look like shit.
I'll tell you, I feel fine.
I don't even mind sticking around here, you know.
The cook-off's not for another what, like, 10 days?
And they got me hooked up with this really nice nutrition lady.
She's got a lot of great ideas about diet and exercise.
[Loud wheezing] That's why.
Hello, Mr.
Shea.
Hello, Hillary.
Looks like you've got visitors already.
I do.
Guys, this is Hillary, and Hillary, these are the guys.
Hi, Hillary.
How are you?
This poor lady has the job of making me into a thin man.
After she negotiates peace in the Middle East.
Yeah.
And gets Rush Limbaugh to share his Viagra with Kanye West.
Yeah.
See, this is the positive reinforcement I was talking about.
Well, do something positive, and we'll reinforce it, you fat bastard.
Yeah, like lose a goddamn chin.
Or 2.
Or 6.
Is that really necessary?
Sweetheart, we work in a firehouse.
So, like, brutal honestly is our currency in trade.
And he's fat.
Like, super fat.
Way fat.
Too fat.
You see?
You have a giant mole on your face.
Your eyes are too far apart.
[Men chuckling] You have Mr.
potato head lips.
You both look mentally challenged.
Your skin Your skin is the color of Elmer's glue.
And you, Owen Wilson called, said he wants his nose back.
[Men laughing] The truth hurts sometimes.
Think about that next time you're making jokes at your friend's expense.
Now, if you don't mind, Mr.
Shea and I need to discuss his future well-being.
Beat it.
Yes, we do.
All right, Lou.
See you later.
See you.
Feel better.
Um, when you say my eyes are too far apart...
I said beat it.
It's called a beauty mark.
Ok?
Sync by n17t01 Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com ♪ on another day c'mon, c'mon with these ropes I tied can we do no wrong?
Now we grieve 'cause now is gone things were good when we were young with my teeth locked down I can see the blood of a thousand men who have come and gone now we grieve 'cause now is gone things were good when we were young is it safe to say?
C'mon, c'mon was it right to leave?
C'mon, c'mon will I ever learn?
C'mon, c'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪ You guys think my eyes are too far apart?
Hey, maybe that's why you're such a good point guard, you know...
peripheral vision.
Quiet, probie.
I'm talking to grown folks here.
Seriously, yo, this shit has, like, been keeping me up all night.
Yeah.
Well, no wonder.
Every time you turn your head to one side or another, an eye's hitting the pillow.
Aw...
All right.
Listen up.
We are busting the fat man out of the hospital tonight.
The West Side wild men found out that Lou was going to be in the hospital a week, and they moved their cookout up to this weekend.
If we're going to do the proper food prep, we've got to move now.
Wait a second, Chief, the guy just had a heart attack.
Hey, this is war, gentleman.
And in war you put your personal safety aside for the benefit of the whole.
That's right.
If Lou's not at that cookout, then the West Side Wild Men have the advantage.
They're going to win the hearts and the minds of the whole neighborhood, and we're done.
Yep.
The next thing you know, the department's nailing up the windows and doors of this place, and we're either in the wind or reassigned to some shit hole like Bedstuy or Staten Island.
Yeah.
So we're breaking him out.
And when is this great escape taking place?
Tonight.
Tonight?
No, I can't do it.
What do you mean, you can't do it?
I got a date with Penny.
Who the hell is Penny?
You know, Penny, the hot probie chick from the West Side.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave the war room, Damien.
Why?
Because you're sleeping with the enemy.
Not yet.
Hey, maybe this is a good thing for us.
You know what I mean?
He can get the...Secrets.
Oh, yeah.
Like a spy.
Yes.
Yeah.
He could, like, pump her for information.
Yeah, Mike, if I'm going to be pumping her, you can bet your ass it won't be for information...
Unless it's for information on where to put my cock.
What?
You don't know where to put your cock?
Well, I may have options.
Somebody fill me in here.
How is it that this little peckerwood has usurped me as the resident pussy hound in this house?
Maybe because I'm not made of plastic, Mr.
Potato Head.
Potato Head!
Potato Head!
Knock it off.
Tommy and I stole these uniforms, all right?
You are going to be the doctor, Franco, and you two are going to be orderlies.
Uh, wait.
Why does Franco get to be the doctor?
Oh, please.
Why can't I be the doctor?
We really need to go there?
A brother has just as much chance of being a doctor as a puerto rican.
Neither one of you really do have a chance, but if I had to pick one, I'd put my money on the Puerto Rican.
Score one for Puerto Rico.
No, no, chief.
There's plenty of black doctors that are out there.
You know it.
Name one.
Dr.
Bill Cosby.
Name another.
Dr.
Huxtable.
Same guy.
One's make-believe, don't count.
Dr.
J.
Nah, nah.
Basketball player.
Got anything else?
Reverend Al Sharpton.
What?
I don't know.
Any time black people get caught in a corner, we just use that as a code name, throwing the rev out.
See, this is one of your problems.
You don't talk white good, and Franco talks perfect white.
Franco, talk some white.
I'd be very happy to, Thomas.
Hello.
I am Dr.
Francisco Rivera.
Ok?
Perfect Caucasian.
Yeah.
It's easy.
I just clench my ass cheeks together as tight as I can and think about egg salad sandwiches.
All right.
Ok.
Well, how come I can't be the orderly?
Because we didn't want to make the orderly a black guy cause that's racist.
Hey, what would Reverend Al say then?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Are you guys from ladder 62?
Yes.
Father Phil Bingham.
How are you, father?
Holy redeemer.
I wanted to drop by to apologize for my behavior the other night.
You did a brave thing pulling me and sister Rosemary and the statue of our holy mother to safety.
And I wasn't very gracious about the chip in Mary's ass.
So for that, I apologize.
You guys are doing God's work.
Every single one of you deserves a first-class ticket to his kingdom.
Of course, we don't want to make that any time too soon.
I have a receipt here for the statue.
I was thinking maybe the department had a reimbursement policy, you know, for property that was damaged.
Maybe you could process that.
Well, geez, if it's only like a couple of hundred bucks, I'm sure we'd be willing to chip in, right, guys?
What do you need, father?
Jesus Christ.
40 grand?
Oh, my God, man.
That's an expensive piece of ass.
Well, she's a virgin.
She's 700 years old.
Father, look, this is the FDNY.
I mean, it's not American Express.
I understand.
Don't you have fire insurance?
The Catholic Church hardly has a pot to piss in, after all the bread we spent on lawyers and silenced those goddamn child molesters.
They put us in the poorhouse, which is probably where we belong.
You know, padre, I really don't think we can help you out.
I mean, we just put out the fires and save the people, you know.
No sweat, fellas.
I'm not trying to put my hands in anybody's pockets...
Unlike those pocket-pool perverts I was talking about a minute ago.
May God protect you from every danger and bless your families, especially in your absence.
Fellas, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
Thank you, father.
We work the same hours you do.
Uh, father.
Quick question.
If you had to say...
Oh, come on.
No, no, no.
Wait a minute.
I think that the padre might have an opinion in the matter, and I'd like to know who do you think has a better shot at being a doctor...
a black man or a Puerto Rican?
Puerto Rican.
No question.
But bless you all...
black guys, Puerto Rican guys, even you Irish knuckleheads.
Thank you, father.
Banner day for my people.
[Elevator dings] Doctor.
Hello, doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Doctor.
Hey, Frank.
Yeah?
I don't think we're in the right wing, dude.
Nah, nah, nah, dude.
We were just here yesterday.
Relax.
I think, but none of this shit really looks familiar, does it?
Well, I don't know, man.
Maybe we took the wrong elevator up.
I don't know.
You think maybe we should ask somebody?
Yeah.
Great thinking, double-o-nothing.
A doctor asking for directions in the hospital is not gonna raise any eyebrows?
OK, let's just stick together and keep looking, ok?
Yeah.
Yo.
Where the hell is Sean?
Garrity?
Hi.
It's Mahoney.
Pat Mahoney.
Oh, my God.
Christ, man.
Long time, no see.
What the hell are you doing here?
I have cancer.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
How's that going, by the way?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, I thought you were out of the woods.
No, I'm so deep in the woods, bears are wiping their asses with me.
What's with the getup?
Oh, it's nothing.
It's really...
I'm not supposed to say.
But, Lou, he had a heart attack, and we're busting him out because we've got this cook-off coming up...
shit.
No, no.
Don't worry.
Your secret is safe with me.
Really?
You promise?
I might be dead by the time I have a chance to spill the goddamn beans.
Oh, come on, man.
Don't talk like that.
Really, you're going to be fine.
Hey, you got to bust me out, too.
What?
I can't stand it here, man.
The pills, the chemo.
The doctors think they're saving me, but really they're just killing me slower.
I got my own ideas about how to spend my last days, but they keep telling me I've got to stay in this hell hole.
But now I got a way out.
Oh, hey, yeah.
I don't know, man.
I mean, our plan is pretty complex.
[Coughing] Holy...
are you ok?
Yeah.
Cancer.
You know, it's...
do you have a baby wipe or something?
No offense.
No.
All right.
So I'm just going to tell you straight up, the guys in my house wanted me to try to get information about your cookout.
Yeah.
Same with the guys in my house.
Oh, really?
So...
How do we handle this?
We ignore it, and we have a good time.
And then you tell me later.
And when are you going to tell me?
It depends on how good of a time you show me.
Ha.
All right.
You look really pretty.
Ha.
Is something wrong with pretty?
No.
It's, um...
it's just a nickname that I had in high school...
Pretty Penny.
I hated the shit out of that nickname.
Well, in some countries, it's a compliment.
Yeah, in my country is inaccurate.
I don't like pretty things.
I like action.
I like getting my hands dirty and sweating, being physical.
I mean, that's why I'm a firefighter.
You know, you could have saved yourself some danger and become a landscaper.
I like the danger, too.
Plus, daddy wasn't a landscaper.
He was a firefighter, like yours.
You know about my dad?
Yeah.
He's a legend.
I mean, he's the reason why you signed up, isn't he?
Uh...Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, there were other reasons, too, namely to piss off my mother and my uncle.
Those were pretty big reasons actually, but, uh...
Yeah.
No, I mean...
The real reason is my dad.
It's a heavy load.
You know, I used to think he didn't like me...
my dad.
Because, um...
I never really showed much interest in the job when he was, you know...Around.
Yeah, but look at you now.
I bet he's proud.
Right.
Well, he's not proud.
He's dead.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I...
it's weird.
I don't really talk about this shit with people...
Ever.
Damn, you must really want info about that cookout.
Ha ha.
Want to get wasted?
Yes.
Please.
Hey.
What the hell?
Sorry.
I got lost.
This place is like a giant goddamn germ-infested maze.
Hey, is that balls-out Mahoney?
Hey, Lou.
How you doing?
Cancer.
You?
Heart attack.
Lucky man.
By the way, guys, we're busting him out, too.
Don't worry.
I'll be as quiet as a...
[Coughing loudly] A mouse.
I'm guessing.
This could be a problem, guys.
No, it only happens when...
[Coughing loudly] [Man wheezing loudly] Anyone got any dynamite or a foghorn they want to blow off?
Yeah, this is...
we're not doing this.
No offense, Pat, but the plan's already in place.
It's too complicated.
Yeah.
No, I don't want to go into work for you.
No, that's bullshit.
He's coming with us.
That's bullshit.
This isn't part of the plan.
Oh, come on.
Plans are for pussies, all right?
How many times have you run into a fire and actually stick to the plan?
Once, twice, out of ten?
Maybe?
He's coming with us, screw your plan.
You just settle down.
No.
We're not leaving him here.
What's the matter with you?
The guy's dying because he spent every day for 8 months cleaning up the shit down at ground zero.
You said it yourself.
If this is a war, then we're an army, right?
A guy runs out on the battlefield, picks up a fallen comrade, he's as brave as the hero he's picking up.
Am I wrong?
Am I wrong?
We take care of our own.
Pat took care of our guys.
We take care of Pat.
End of story.
Mmm...
Well, better put your party hat on there, Patty boy.
Looks like you're coming with us.
Put this on.
You keep your head down.
You guys take him out the north exit.
We're going to take Lou out the south.
All right?
Black Shawn, come on.
Let's go.
Ha ha.
Doctor, doctor, give me the news, son.
No, no, no, no.
Mike, switch your shit with him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait.
Wait.
I thought it was racist, making a brother an orderly.
Hey, you've got down syndrome.
Ok?
You're lucky you have a job.
Let's go.
Change up.
I ain't got down syndrome.
Come on, Mike.
Hurry up.
What about me?
Let's go.
Let's go.
Orderly, please.
Careful, careful.
Jesus!
It's going to be to the left here.
To the left.
Easy, easy.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Jesus Christ, if you drive my truck the way you're driving this thing...
Yeah, bring the truck around to the front so we can get the hell free.
You're crushing the doctor.
Hit the button.
To the right, orderly.
To the right.
Hit the button.
[Elevator dings] Hey.
What's happening?
What are you doing?
Get on.
Get on.
Shit.
Oh, my God.
What are you shitiots up to?
We're just checking Lou out a little ahead of schedule.
That's all.
All right.
Is that allowed?
I wouldn't be wearing this uniform if it were, but it does suit me, don't you think?
Hey, why are we going up?
I hit the ground floor button.
Well, hit it again, Corky.
Yeah, listen.
He doesn't really look good enough to go.
He's fine.
Yeah.
We need him back at the house for the cook-off.
Oh, my God.
You are breaking him out of the hospital for a goddamn cook-off?
Maybe it's not the best idea in the world.
There is nothing more important than that cook-off.
Huh.
How about your friend's life?
Hmm?
What life would that be?
Ok?
We lose the cook-off, we lose the house.
Without the house and without us, Lou is lost in the world.
He could walk right into the nearest olive garden and use that never-ending pasta bowl like a loaded .45.
It's true.
Sorry, folks.
Swine flu.
Highly contagious.
Nasty.
[All coughing] All right, you jokers.
This is where I cut out.
Listen, Lou-Lou, honey.
Yes?
[Loud kiss] Do not let these animals kill you, right?
Ok, honey pie.
Thank you.
You look great.
What?
What's that you said?
I said you look great.
Thank you.
[Horn honks] [Laughter] Holy shit!
Dude, you totally almost got hit by that taxi.
That would have been ironic, huh?
Never mind.
That was amazing.
I haven't laughed that hard since the government sent me that thank-you letter for working at ground zero instead of helping me pay for my medical bills.
Hey, should we go celebrate with a couple brewskis?
Better yet, why don't the two of us go and you meet us there later after you give Flavor Flav his clothes back, ok?
What do you want to do?
You want to hit the hustler club?
[Coughing loudly] You all right?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit.
Uh, maybe we should go back.
Yeah.
Come on.
Come on, Mike.
[Coughing continues] So you're the doctor in charge?
Um, yes.
As a matter of fact, I am.
See, you wouldn't think that, now, would you, doctor?
Orderly, I'm going to step aside with the doctor.
We're going to have a little doctor-to-doctor.
Watch the body.
Hey, I'm still alive, doc.
Yeah.
Go get the truck, you idiot.
What were we talking about?
Show me your identification, doctor...
Rico.
Richards.
Rico Richards.
Yeah.
My mother's Puerto Rican, and my father's Jewish, which explains why I graduated from the top of my class at Johns Hopkins University, and the Puerto Rican part, I...
I think the jig is up.
No, not yet.
He's laying down that Latin magic.
And making eye contact.
Look at that.
Like a dagger through the heart.
I'll tell you all about it over coffee.
You know, with a face like that, you've got to wonder why the hell he became a smoke eater.
Simple math, Lou.
You take his face, you multiply it by our job, and you end up with a grand total of...
Pussy.
Class dismissed.
Son of a bitch.
Look at this.
If I had that power...
You'd eat it.
I'll see you.
Bye.
Coast is clear, gentlemen.
Dr.
Richards saves the day.
Thank you, doctor.
Shall we?
I believe we're going this way.
The lady's on our side.
There he is.
Hey, pal.
Hey.
Oh, you're still here.
Yeah, man.
Of course.
I figured you'd seen enough of me after last night.
Hey, you know what?
Why don't you lay back, take a load off, will you?
Yeah.
Whoo.
This sucks.
[Breathes deeply] I'm going to die in this room.
I'm going to die in this room, and nobody's going to give a shit.
No...plaques, no parades, no...
scholarships in my name.
So, what did I do it for?
Why did I put my ass on the line after the fact?
Because...
That's what we've always done.
That's what we do, right?
It's our job.
You know what?
Don't worry about anything.
Ok?
You're in good hands.
I'm going to take care of everything.
I wish I could say that's a comforting sentiment.
Yeah.
I...
Wish I knew how to back it up.
Ha ha.
Got any ideas?
I'll come up with something.
I just...
Hey.
Hey.
Eat.
Eat, please.
Wow.
Yep.
We've got mini Cuban sandwiches...
Holy shit.
Pastrami puffs, pizza rolls.
Probably the best I've ever cooked.
Ok.
What gives?
Because usually if you're standing in a sea of cheese like this, you'd be doing an Irish jig.
Yeah, I know.
I was just, you know, recently diagnosed as being an emotional eater.
Diagnosed?
Yes.
By who?
My nurse, Hillary.
She's a genius.
Yeah, but you know what?
She hit it right on the head.
I mean, I eat when I'm up.
I eat when I'm down.
I eat when I'm melancholy.
I eat when the Mets lose.
I eat basically during all of my waking hours.
I mean, I'm like a shark.
For Christ's sakes, I've had, like, 3 of each of these things.
You know, I'm thinking of calling ahead to the hospital and reserving a better room.
I think I should probably take this shit out of here, because it sounds like you're going to eat yourself to death.
I think that's kind of the point of being an emotional eater.
You know...Ha.
You're not the only one who, uh...
Who died around here lately, pal.
I mean, I think I went out, too.
I mean, I'm pretty sure of it.
Blackness, I had visions.
Except I didn't really see anything at first.
It was more of a...
It was more of a smell.
What did you smell?
Well, I smelled a bakery.
A bakery?
It wasn't toast.
It was a real bakery.
And then I just had this feeling.
Uh-huh.
I know what you mean.
Waves of...
Dread.
No.
Joy.
It was the most incredible joyous feeling.
I mean, it's not like winning at the track or banging a beautiful broad, you know, who's way out of your league.
It was just the most peaceful...
[sighs deeply] Content, happy...Ha ha...Joy.
It was insane.
Ok.
What did you see?
And then I saw my mother.
And she was a zombie.
No.
No, Tom.
She was my mother.
She was just the way that I remembered her as a kid.
I was sitting in the old kitchen.
She was on the phone with my aunt Lee, and she was working the stove, and I was sitting at the table, and I was licking cupcake icing.
Cupcake icing?
Chocolate.
And she got up to hang up the phone, and she walked past me, and she just...
She just brushed the back of my head with her hand, like she used to.
And Tom, I swear to God, I can still feel her hand there.
Ok.
And then...[ahem] There was like...[ahem] Foreboding or darkness or...
No.
The only pain and suffering I felt was having to leave.
But the thought that that's what's waiting for me and to know that I'm going to probably...
go back there, I mean, I'm kind of looking forward to it.
Bullshit.
Tom, I'm telling you...
You didn't die.
You did not die.
You were dreaming.
Well, you believe what you want.
Seriously, you...You know...
You got icing and a bakery?
Ha ha ha.
This is what you think that, you know, going to the other side is?
You know, zombies.
Ok?
You know...You know, fear.
Burning, you know.
That's death.
That's your death.
I'm a little different.
Oh, you're like...
Some kind of goddamn saint.
You get to go to a bakery.
How does that happen?
I just think I'm a better person.
Ha.
Well, you asked.
Do you want to add up bad shit?
Is that what you want to do?
Do you want to have a bad-shit contest?
Because if you...
all the bad things I've done and all the bad things you've done?
Come on.
That's a pretty equal cheat sheet.
That's not a contest, Tommy.
You want an example?
Yeah.
- Okay.
Candy.
Candy, a hooker you ripped off so you could live in this beautiful apartment you're living in.
Here we go again with candy.
Why don't you just let it drop, Tom?
I was the victim there.
Why is that different?
Because, Tom, for Christ's sakes, she went after me.
She got what she deserved, Tom, all right?
She asked for it, and she deserved it.
Ok?
Katie, Colleen, Janet, Connor...
they didn't deserve it.
They were innocent bystanders.
You're supposed to protect them.
Protect and serve.
Oh, for Christ's sakes.
You know, Tommy, I could drop dead tomorrow.
You could drop dead tomorrow, and what would we get?
A plaque on the wall, guys go out drinking for a night.
Ok?
2 new guys would be in here like that to replace us.
And you know what?
Maybe they'd do a better job, maybe they'd do a worse job.
But they'd replace us.
There ain't no replacing a father, Tom.
You only get one.
You should start thinking about that, because maybe then you'd be smelling bakeries for eternity, just like me.
Ha.
Hey!
What are you doing here?
I'm from 62 truck.
I was here.
I'm a fireman.
We were here for the fire.
What were you doing with the infant of Prague?
I was just touching his...
her...
His dress?
I was just...
What's your name again?
Thomas Gavin.
Thomas Gavin.
Holy Irish.
Come on in.
Leave his dress alone.
Drink?
Well, I'm actually on kind of a wine-only diet right now.
Is red ok?
Because we've got plenty of that.
Yeah.
All right.
Sorry about the bat.
This arson situation has us on our toes.
Sister Rosemary sleeps with a knife under her pillow.
So...They're thinking it might be arson, huh?
So says the marshal.
I'd say, "who would want to burn a church?"
But then again, who hasn't wanted to burn a church every once in a while?
It's so easy for people to hate the things they don't understand instead of loving them.
You and I both know...
[clink] that most people, especially in this country, are lazy self-obsessed slobs.
Thomas Gavin doesn't take the easy way, does he?
Well, to be honest with you, father, if there was an easy way out, I'd probably take it in a heartbeat, you know.
Nah, I don't think so.
And I don't think you came out here tonight to talk about the fire.
No, I didn't.
Um...
you know, to be honest again, father, I'm not the world's greatest catholic.
[Sighs] But I've had this thing lately, recently, this life-altering experience.
I won't go into all the details, but I...
I died, and I went briefly, I think, to the other side.
And you know, what I do for a living, you know, we see a lot of stuff, a lot of...
A lot of bad things, you know.
Hell on earth.
You'd think.
But when I...
When I had this experience, I'm telling you, when I went to that other side, I saw things that make the things I see at work just seem like a bad day at the beach, I'm telling you.
You think you went to hell.
Well, either I went to hell, or I went to the shittiest beach...
I didn't mean to say that.
I'm sorry.
I didn't...
It doesn't mean shit to me.
Ah.
Ok.
So, you know, I went over there, and I saw...I don't know.
So...
So...What now?
Right.
What?
You want me to tell you?
Yeah.
I thought that...
I thought you might have some answers.
No.
Nobody can answer that question.
Um, but I thought you guys...
No, nobody but you, anyway.
No, this is what I do know...
That in times of duress like these, we have to find stability.
We have to solidify our grounding.
Who is one person that's been there with you through the thick and the thin?
Through my adult life?
Hmm...
Tommy, it's not a hard question.
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
Um...I'm...
I would have to go with...
My wife.
You're married.
Yes.
Barely.
Yeah.
Kids?
2 kids.
2 1/2.
By...We had a kid that died, and now I inherited my brother's son because he...
My brother died.
Anything there you might salvage, with your kids?
That would be, like, some pretty...
A pretty deep dive.
I mean, by...
Especially with my wife.
It's kind of shark-infested waters.
You got a picture?
Um...Yeah.
Um, let me see.
These are...The girls.
I don't have a picture of the baby.
And that's...That's my wife.
It looks like that's been through the wash a few times.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
When's the last time you took a good look at this picture?
I just looked at it when I was giving it to you.
Well, take another look.
No, Tommy, I really want you to take a good look at it.
Really look at it.
I'm looking at it.
Well, it's been a long time since I've known the company of a woman, other than Sister Rosemary.
But I can tell by just looking at that picture, that that is a woman you don't let slip away.
That is a woman you tussle for.
So maybe...
Maybe, that's "what now?"
Can I keep this?
Well, that's the only...
That's the only copy I have of that particular...
photograph, so I kind of...
I need it, you know.
You sure?
Yeah.
That's it.
Thanks.
Thank you very much.
It was...
24/7.
Always open.
Thank you, Franco.
No problem.
Of course, the moment that I need Tommy, he goes off the radar, and here you are, taking care of business.
Yeah.
Well, that's his M.O., right?
Yeah.
Where would I be without you?
From the looks of things, probably washing your dishes in the bathtub.
Speaking of, I'm very dirty.
I'm going to do a quick change.
Ok?
Yeah, sure.
Take your time.
Hey.
How's Lou doing?
Oh, he's, uh...
He's all right, I guess.
He could probably stand to exercise a little bit more.
A little less food, you know.
That's no secret.
Yeah.
You know, he could eat better.
Maybe take fewer naps or...
Something.
Yeah.
I really should have visited him in the hospital.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm sure he forgives you.
[Pipes rattle] Oh, goddamn!
Shit!
Hey, are you ok?
I cut myself.
Damn it.
God, you're bleeding.
It's not that bad.
It's like a nick, you know.
Does that hurt?
Yeah, a little bit.
Ha.
I'm all right.
Sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Janet, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
That was so far out of line.
I don't even...
it's like some kind of weird sickness with me, you know.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
You're Tommy's wife.
You know, he's my friend.
I don't even know what...
I'm sorry.
No, there's nothing to be sorry about.
Yeah, you know what?
There is.
Ok?
Because, you know, that was low, even for me.
I've gone to depths that would kill most men, so...
Seriously, stop beating yourself up.
Ok?
It's...
Look, nothing happened.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess, you know.
I mean, it's not like I threw you up on the counter or something, you know.
You know, it's not like Tommy and I are even officially together.
Ok?
So don't...
You know, I'm not saying that...
Right.
Yeah.
I mean...
Of course not.
So, I mean...
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
Oh, you know, just...
you, uh...
You have a busted...
A clogged pipe, you know, drain.
Yeah.
And so I called him to fix it.
She tried to call you, but, you know...
Well, he was close by.
So he came...by.
I didn't want you to get your floor, you know, wet...
or ruined.
And then he cut himself.
You all right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm good.
You know, it's, uh...
It's nothing, you know.
I think, you know, you might have a little, um...
Like, rust under there.
Hmm.
How was your day?
It was good.
Good.
Good.
What?
You two have got...
to be shitting me.
Tom, what are you...
Oh, ho.
T.
Tommy.
Un...believable.