Startseite ⮞ TV-Serie ⮞ Staffel 6 ⮞ Episode 1

TV-Serie: Everybody Loves Raymond - 6x1

"So the lion got some cream for his chicken pox." 2 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,702 How many more before Michael? 3 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,936 Shh! 4 00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,204 40 minutes already! 5 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:12,268 Quiet! 6 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,473 "And his mommy put the cream on, 7 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,675 and he felt better." 8 00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:17,876 The end. 9 00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:20,784 Thank you, Gracie. 10 00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:23,721 That was a wonderful and very imaginative story. 11 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,156 And now we have lan. 12 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,159 Oh, crap. 13 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,464 "Escape from the Blue Planet." 14 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,228 Finally, science fiction. 15 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:38,498 "The rocket ship landed on the blue planet 16 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,063 that was filled with water." 17 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,369 You don't think this is nice? 18 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,809 You know, they wrote these all by themselves. 19 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:46,334 No kidding. 20 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,510 "And the rocket got stuck, 21 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,017 but the pilot had some extra gas." 22 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,282 He's not the only one. 23 00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:58,448 "So that is how they were able to escape 24 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,118 from the blue planet." 25 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,321 The end. 26 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,528 Wonderful, lan, and very exciting. 27 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,158 Michael? It's your turn. 28 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,828 Thank God. 29 00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,531 We go after this. 30 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:17,838 "The Angry Family." 31 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:34,519 "The daddy was mad at the mommy." 32 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,927 "The mommy was mad at the daddy." 33 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:52,575 "The mommy and daddy were very mad at the grandpa." 34 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:01,151 "The grandma got mad at everybody." 35 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,280 I did not! 36 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,814 It's wonderful. 37 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:11,797 "The grownups were always very loud. 38 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,765 It hurt the kids' ears." 39 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,597 The end. 40 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,182 - Let's watch TV! - Yeah! Yay! 41 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:39,748 Let's watch TV! 42 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,555 Whoo! 43 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,665 Well, I can't go there anymore. 44 00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,873 The looks I was getting... 45 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,473 I've never gotten looks like that in my life. 46 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,109 You oughta watch me more. 47 00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:12,353 How could you let Michael write something like that? 48 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,292 We didn't know anything about this. 49 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,454 Eileen let the kids write whatever they wanted. 50 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:17,724 Who's Eileen? 51 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,925 The teacher. 52 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:22,161 I'm not thrilled about this, either, but, you know, 53 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,864 kids should be able to express what they're feeling. 54 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,895 What a load of bull. 55 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,801 Here's a perfect example of your liberal, 56 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:34,301 "free to be a bird or bee" college claptrap 57 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:38,078 comin' home to bite your whole family in the ass! 58 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,584 Oh? 59 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,989 The whole family? 60 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,653 The whole family... what am I?! 61 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,391 I wasn't even mentioned in that book. 62 00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:55,696 What, you're insulted 'cause you weren't insulted? 63 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,397 I'm insulted that you have brainwashed your children 64 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,133 into thinking the only thing I'm good for 65 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,074 is to hold up a piHata. 66 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,303 And I don't look like that. 67 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,369 - What? - The kid's illustrations. 68 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,607 People are gonna think I look like that. 69 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,706 Okay, everyone, 70 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,013 could we all please just go home? 71 00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,246 Debra's right. We gotta talk to Michael. 72 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,448 You gonna punish him? I want input. 73 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,820 All right, come on, come on. 74 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,848 Nobody's punishing anyone. 75 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:22,861 Of course not. God forbid someone's feelings should get hurt. 76 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,294 Well, my feelings are hurt. 77 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,855 Mine, too! Nobody cares! 78 00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,196 I'm writing my own book. 79 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,724 Get out. 80 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,635 That's the title. 81 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,879 - Michael! - What are you gonna do? 82 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:43,006 I wanna talk to him. 83 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,516 Michael, could you come in here, please? 84 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,108 - Be careful what you say. - Don't worry. 85 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,744 He writes it down. 86 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,789 Sweetie, I just want to ask you something. 87 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:58,260 Do you think that your family is "The Angry Family"? 88 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:02,664 It's okay, honey, you can tell us. 89 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,067 Ray, you wanna... 90 00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:05,229 Nope. 91 00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,665 I loved your story, Michael. 92 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,071 Said Daddy. 93 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,941 Go on, watch TV, honey. 94 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,613 - What is wrong with you? - What? 95 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,053 Hey, if you were on top of stuff, 96 00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:25,751 you coulda stopped the story from leakin' out. 97 00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:30,085 I am on top of stuff! What do you do, huh? 98 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,563 Look, those stories were supposed to be a surprise 99 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,065 for the parents. 100 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,897 A surprise for the parents? 101 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:37,061 I think the surprise is, 102 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,970 you get to the school and there's an open bar. 103 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:49,106 No, this was like an ambush. 104 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:52,174 And you can't even see what the real problem is here, can you? 105 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,209 There's an image that Michael has of us. 106 00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:56,585 Come on, we're normal. 107 00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,457 Comparatively normal. 108 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:03,053 - Watch the news. - Please. 109 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,894 Although I will say, 110 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,365 there are times 111 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,063 when you seem to yell for no reason, you know? 112 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,038 Maybe... 113 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,370 Maybe that's what he's pickin' up on. 114 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:16,807 I'm pretty sure 115 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,334 that most of the leading characters in that story 116 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,904 were from the Barone side. 117 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:25,645 Yeah, okay, but the loud part, I'm thinkin', is probably you. 118 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,812 So you're blaming me? 119 00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:29,446 You're completely free and clear. 120 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,150 I'm sorry, but I am not the yeller. 121 00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:32,817 You are the reason for the yeller! 122 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,383 Well, you assume that there must be yelling! 123 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,486 - You're damn right there's yell... - Hey, hey, hey! 124 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,895 - Hey! - Can I have a juice? 125 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:40,956 - What, honey? - Can I have a juice? 126 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,490 - Sure, sweetie. - Yeah, sure. 127 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:45,197 - We can do that, right, Mommy? - Thank you, Daddy. 128 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:47,832 Thank you. 129 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,118 We have problems. 130 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,124 It's all right. All right? 131 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,386 No, it is not all right. 132 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,654 This argument just now 133 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,923 is exactly what Michael was referring to. 134 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:12,396 Well, you don't gotta worry about this one, because that was Geoffrey. 135 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,023 Phone. 136 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,597 Hello? 137 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,765 Oh... hi, Eileen. 138 00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:24,941 Yeah, hi. 139 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,376 How are ya? 140 00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:28,972 Yeah. Oh, no, that was a great open house, yeah. 141 00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,380 Dynamite. 142 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:32,577 What conference? 143 00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:37,283 Oh! Oh. That's this week, too. 144 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:38,915 Yeah, right. With the parents. 145 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,825 Uh-huh. Yeah. I guess we must've forgot about it. 146 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:45,388 Wasn't like we were trying to run out or anything. 147 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:46,864 'Cause, uh, we wanna talk to you. 148 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:48,059 We love you. 149 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:52,461 All right, okay. 150 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,803 Yeah, sure, we'll see you tomorrow. Okay. 151 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,069 Bye-bye. 152 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,603 Listen, about tomorrow, I got a pretty big day, so... 153 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,445 - You don't want to finish that. - All right. Okay. 154 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,511 And did you have to sound so guilty on the phone? 155 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:11,955 How about you? You ran away like a little girl. 156 00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:20,395 Okay... 157 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,333 So... how are you? 158 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:23,699 Terrific! 159 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,132 So... 160 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:30,142 That was so, so funny yesterday. 161 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,373 - What was? - Michael's book. "Angry Family." 162 00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,739 I don't know where he... 163 00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:40,274 Anyway, um, it's great to be here. 164 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,048 Happy to discuss everything. 165 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,316 I was really impressed with what Michael 166 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,823 wrote about in his book, weren't you? 167 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,382 Me? Uh, definitely. 168 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,291 Oh, definitely. 169 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,695 Um, but I do think that his book was... 170 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,131 just a story. 171 00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:55,428 And, yes, 172 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,028 obviously all stories do come from somewhere. 173 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,264 Well, not all of 'em. 174 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,533 Hmm? 175 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,632 I was just thinkin' somethin'... 176 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,644 I was just thinkin', some stories come from... 177 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:08,442 like-like those shows you go to where they say, 178 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,948 "Give us a location!" 179 00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,712 And then the audience goes, "An elevator!" 180 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,344 And then they say, 181 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,877 "What language should we do?" or somethin', 182 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,685 And you yell, "French!" 183 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:21,181 You know, and then they do a hilarious thing right there. 184 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,958 "Second floor... croissants!" You know? 185 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,726 Yeah. They just... 186 00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,792 they make that stuff up right there on the spot. 187 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:33,995 Yeah. 188 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,235 So that would be one example 189 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,142 where some stories do come from. 190 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:41,043 Is-is that what Michael did? 191 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,672 Probably not. 192 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,678 Please stop. 193 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,814 I'm just... I'm talkin' to Eileen. 194 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,756 Uh, Eileen, um... 195 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,317 did Michael say anything to you? 196 00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:58,091 I mean, did he say anything specific about home? 197 00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,223 And remember, children lie. 198 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,599 Ray, we have nothing to hide. 199 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,536 I don't know what he's so afraid of. 200 00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:08,039 I mean, 'cause we're a normal family. 201 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,939 Comparatively. 202 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:13,173 I mean, watch the news. 203 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,306 That was mine, the normal thing. 204 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,444 She stole that from me. 205 00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,717 It is not your thing! We are normal! 206 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,657 You know, we do have counselors. 207 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,751 Father Hubley is very good. 208 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,989 No, no, that's the last thing that we need. 209 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,224 Why do you say that? 210 00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:34,198 Because then everybody's talkin' about it... 211 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,632 Look, what are you... 212 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,932 Why do you have to be so close-minded? 213 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,530 - You see, this is the attitude. - I'm not close-minded. 214 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,905 Uch, what are you doing right now? 215 00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,136 This is who you are. 216 00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:46,406 Why can't you just talk about things, huh? 217 00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,276 Talk! 218 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,248 You know, I have to say 219 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:55,185 that you're actually exhibiting some of the very traits 220 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,621 that seem to jump off the page in Michael's book. 221 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,954 Who? 222 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,483 Oh... you. 223 00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:05,929 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 224 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,798 First of all, it's not a book. 225 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,564 It's pieces of construction paper. 226 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:15,199 - You sound a bit close-minded. - Hey. 227 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,877 Eileen... 228 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:23,977 you have no idea what I have to put up with. 229 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,086 When I got married, I didn't just get a husband, 230 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,747 I got a whole freak show 231 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,724 that set up their tent right across the street. 232 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,128 And that-that would be fine, 233 00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:40,598 if they stayed there. 234 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,295 But every day... every day... 235 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:46,532 they dump a truckload of their insane family dreck 236 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,800 into my lap. 237 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,603 How would you like to sit through 238 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,109 two people in their 60s 239 00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,236 fighting over who invented the lawn? 240 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,304 The lawn! 241 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,678 And then the brother... 242 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,479 "I live in an apartment. 243 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,680 I don't even have a lawn. Raymond has a lawn." 244 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,916 But you can't blame him when you see who the mother is. 245 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:07,323 She has this kind of sick hold on the both of them. 246 00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:09,259 And the father's about as disgusting a creature 247 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,763 as God has ever dropped onto this planet. 248 00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,924 So no wonder the kid writes stories! 249 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,194 I should be writing stories. 250 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,531 My life is a Gothic novel, 251 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,503 and until you have lived in that house, 252 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,732 with all of them in there with you day after day, 253 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,207 week after week, year after friggin' year, 254 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:26,803 wou are in no position to judge me! 255 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,756 Where are you in here, Robert? 256 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,662 Exactly. 257 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,964 I'll tell you what concerns me. 258 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:59,136 I wanna know why I was drawn completely without hair. 259 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,806 That is an exaggeration which I do not appreciate. 260 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,305 All right, now, all right, there's no need for tension. 261 00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:06,875 We all have enough tension. 262 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:10,650 Believe me, this job pounds the life out of you. 263 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,960 Eileen, maybe you'd like to start with... 264 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,018 No, thank you. 265 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,323 What? 266 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,194 Listen, Eileen, again, 267 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:25,294 I am so sorry about getting a little testy with you yesterday. 268 00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:26,634 That's really not like me. 269 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,333 Yeah, yeah, fine, fine. 270 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,135 Adam. 271 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,236 Adam is the school's counselor, 272 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,713 and we thought we'd like to have this little talk today 273 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,739 to see if maybe we can help you people. 274 00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:39,114 Okay? 275 00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,786 Go on, Adam. 276 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,518 Sure. 277 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,526 Hi, everyone. 278 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,154 I'm Adam Burke, and I am the school's counselor, 279 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:53,222 but I like to think of myself more as a facilitator. 280 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,062 Oh, Jeez. 281 00:13:58,304 --> 00:13:59,635 So, here's a question. 282 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,835 Do any of you ever feel that the "anger" 283 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,070 gets out of control? 284 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,907 - No, no way. - No, I really don't. 285 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,414 - Yes. - What? 286 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,006 Yes, I do feel that the anger 287 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,745 sometimes gets out of control. 288 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,515 I feel it whenever I come into the house. 289 00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,851 There is a solution. 290 00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:27,523 I don't understand. I am there in a loving, 291 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,557 nurturing capacity, 292 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,593 as is my wont. 293 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:35,334 Well, then, maybe we should ask ourselves, 294 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,707 "Where could the anger in this family be coming from?" 295 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,850 No, all right. I am not gonna... 296 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,716 I do not want to sit here! 297 00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:49,812 No, no, no. Stop, stop. 298 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,553 I'm fine. My apologies. 299 00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:57,152 Ray, you know what? 300 00:14:57,196 --> 00:15:00,029 I don't think people need to hear my side of things again. 301 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:04,729 Maybe you could say something objective. 302 00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,863 Okay. 303 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,770 Uh, all I know is... 304 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,482 Debra's good. 305 00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,816 She's really, really good. 306 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:25,312 You know, she's got a lot of stuff to do, and... 307 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,757 that's why... 308 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:29,852 if she's all... 309 00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:42,003 that's why. 310 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:46,441 Uh, if I may... 311 00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:51,773 you mentioned, Father Hubley, that I was not included in that book, 312 00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:54,285 and that is a very astute observation. 313 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,380 And I do believe that my unique position 314 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,618 in this... family, 315 00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,888 as that of an outsider, 316 00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,861 allows me to view 317 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,490 this hodgepodge of life 318 00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,365 from a rather unique vantage point. 319 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:11,733 Top of a beanstalk? 320 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,043 And I do maintain 321 00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:20,170 that if anyone is to blame, Father, 322 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,703 for this river of pent-up hostility 323 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,682 that runs through this sorry bunch 324 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:28,448 like you-know-what through a we-know-what... 325 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,456 that person goes by the name... of Raymond. 326 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,219 Ohh, sit down, you dope. 327 00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:36,125 He is and always has been the center... 328 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,628 the center of attention, 329 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,688 the center of affection, 330 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,724 he always gets the center chair in the kitchen. 331 00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:45,168 And this anger of which you speak, 332 00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,570 from the rest of these poor souls, 333 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:51,542 stems from his unwillingness to share 334 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,068 even the tiniest portion of the spotlight 335 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:57,173 that shines, without end... 336 00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:59,309 on him. 337 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,911 Aah! What are you doing? 338 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,049 What are you doing?! 339 00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,683 What are you doing? 340 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,222 "Center chair." 341 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,025 It's my kitchen. Get your own kitchen. 342 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,531 There you go, you see, 343 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,897 because I only have a kitchenette, and he loves it! 344 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,494 Right, "rub it in" Raymond? No house for me. 345 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,097 No wife, no kids, no lawn, no nothin'! 346 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,370 Hey, Father, let me ask you somethin'. 347 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,377 Would you know who invented the lawn? 348 00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,810 Ohh! 349 00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:28,938 Would you stop?! 350 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,074 No one "invented" it, it's grass! 351 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,414 Oh, yeah? So cavemen had lawns? 352 00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:36,751 Yes, they were called "fields," you baboon! 353 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:40,190 You wanna know where all the tension in the family comes from? 354 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,284 I'm chained to it. 355 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,227 Here she is. 356 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,197 And if you're lookin' to find out why she's like this, 357 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,029 I'm givin' it to you, for once and for all. 358 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,093 You ready? 359 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:54,003 There! Right there! 360 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:56,007 She married him! 361 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:59,101 And this one still can't deal with it! 362 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,150 How dare you? 363 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:11,179 - It-it-it's all right, Mrs... - You hold on. 364 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:16,891 You think Michael's book is my fault, don't ya? 365 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,396 Don't ya? Huh? 366 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,694 If there's ever a problem in the family, 367 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:23,724 it's the mother. It's always the mother. 368 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,000 Well, you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. 369 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,974 And you, you-you allow that, Father Hubley? 370 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,566 Shame on you. 371 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,635 That's right. You had a mother. 372 00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,271 And you allowed all this to happen 373 00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,009 in your school, in your parish. 374 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,607 This "new psychology"... 375 00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:40,550 that children are always right, 376 00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,214 they're being rewarded for every little thing they do 377 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,916 with the stickers. 378 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,515 I mean, these kids are comin' home full of stickers 379 00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:47,820 for doing nothing! 380 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,522 "Ooh. I went to the potty." 381 00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:52,120 "Here's a sticker." 382 00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:55,960 In my day, you had to earn a reward, 383 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,026 and even then, you didn't get it. 384 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,300 And if there was yelling in the house, you earned that, too. 385 00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:01,772 There was nothing to be ashamed of. 386 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,104 I want to tell you something. 387 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,269 There is nothing wrong with this family. 388 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,971 We're very close, we're very open, 389 00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,480 we're very loving, 'cause I make sure of it. 390 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,881 But everybody has to make a big deal. 391 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,613 You have to have a meeting, you have to have an inquiry, 392 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,520 you have to have a witch hunt. 393 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:20,081 I think they found one. 394 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,128 Well... 395 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,601 thank you, everybody... 396 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,631 for a lovely morning. 397 00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:39,243 Believe it or not, 398 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,872 I do understand the pressures and tensions 399 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,144 of raising a family in today's world. 400 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:48,313 But I think this particular family 401 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,718 compounds the problem 402 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,986 by maybe being a bit too close to each other constantly, 403 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,791 like ping-pong balls pounding and hitting off each other... 404 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,888 in the lottery machine. 405 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,661 Except... 406 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,260 nobody wins in this one, 407 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,601 least of all, the children, 408 00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:09,129 which is what I got from this book. 409 00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:13,239 So it's not about you... 410 00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:16,509 or you... or you... 411 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,448 or you... 412 00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,041 Or even Raymond, today. 413 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,652 It's about this little guy... 414 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,882 and this sweet, simple way of maybe... 415 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,554 giving you a message. 416 00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:52,073 Now... 417 00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,949 we have these parenting books 418 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,511 that you might want to take a look at... 419 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:58,420 - I'll try one. - Oh, I'll take one. 420 00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:00,550 We'll take 'em all, we'll take 'em all. 421 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,560 Give me one. They're not all for you. 422 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,653 Relax, Dad. You're gonna get one! 423 00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:11,134 - Hey! - Hey! 424 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:13,364 - Come here, you. - Come here. 425 00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:14,838 What'd you do, go to the bathroom? 426 00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,465 Yeah. Your light's on. 427 00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,032 Yeah, that's 'cause we're readin'. 428 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:19,634 We're readin' a coupla books here. 429 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,202 Give me that head. Give me that. Mm-mm! 430 00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:22,440 Hey, it's time for bed, dude. 431 00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:23,709 - Okay? - Come on. 432 00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,910 - See ya tomorrow, okay? - See you in the morning, honey. 433 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,441 Hey, listen, Michael, 434 00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,716 we really loved your story you wrote, 435 00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:31,188 and we learned a lot from it. 436 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:32,815 I like that cartoon. 437 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,291 What cartoon? 438 00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,055 Monster Maniacs. 439 00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:38,460 They're really funny. They're always yelling. 440 00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:00,943 With a win over the Angels, last night's 1-0 screamer 441 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:04,444 gave the Royals a one-nothing lead in the three game series.