TV-Serie: Las Vegas - 4x13
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Yes, we've relocated the high roller pit to the east endof the casino.
However, if that's a problem, we can probably reconfigure the exhibit, don't you think?
Absolutely, if that would make things easier for you, Sam.
Would you like a muffin?
What the hell is going on?
Did you guys finally have some crazy tantric sex together?
Such hostility--I wonder where she gets that anger.
Loneliness.
A scarred little girl, crying out to be loved.
Come here.
You didn't read the memo, did you, Sam?
Oh, okay.
Very funny.
She didn't read the memo...
It's a shame.
Mm.
Such a shame.
Good morning, everybody.
What a beautiful day.
Doesn't it feel great to be alive?
Would you like a muffin?
It does.
Oh, no, I'm all set.
Buthank you, Danny.
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
Mary.
Mary.
Uh-huh?
What the hell is going on?
Someone dose your Cheerios?
Didn't you read the memos?
She doesn't read memos.
She's too cool.
Okay, what memo?
I just read the memo.
Is it true?
What?
Oh.
Yeah, I'm, uh...
I'm taking your mom to Paris for Valentine's Day.
I thought you hated France.
The French, not-- not France.
Besides, it's your mother's favorite city in the world.
And I've been promising to take her there for a while.
I don't understand why anybody would want to leave Las Vegas, though.
This is an incredibly romantic thing you're doing.
Yeah...you know.
Don't screw it up.
I'm not gonna screw it up.
It's just that I don't understand why we can't go to Hawaii like normal people.
Because Paris is the most romantic city in the world.
Listen to me.
They don't know how to win wars.
They don't play golf.
I have absolutely nothing in common with these people.
Bonjour, monsieur!
Etes-vous exit� aller � Paris?
And they talk like that.
Wait, Ed's going to Paris?
Why am I here?
I could've slept in.
He's still here.
And, uh...
when he leaves, I'll be in charge, so if you miss work, you're done.
Okay?
I'm done?
Yeah, you're done.
Wouldn't that be funny, if, uh, you actually had the power to fire me?
Oh, I could fire you.
Oh, really?
Oh, yes.
Isn't that right, Mike?
You know, I'm not very comfortable with the way that was phrased.
I'd say we were co-in charge.
Fine.
We're both in charge.
Therefore, we could both fire Sam.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, why don't you go ahead and try it?
I would like to see that.
We will.
Oh.
Speak of the devil.
Speaking of the devil?
Thank you.
Yeah.
Hey, lemme ask you a question.
Do these two idiots have the power to fire me?
I-I don't know why-- Hold it.
Hold it.
Wait, excuse me.
Why would they need to fire you?
Well, obviously, there would be no good reason to fire me.
But I'm just asking, you know, what the hierarchy is when you're away.
Hierarchy.
Well, well, here-- here's how it goes.
Okay?
You guys have a problem.
You call me.
I will fly home immediately and take care of it.
I think we're gonna get along just fine.
Yeah, you guys go ahead and have a great trip.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Listen, now, come on.
I need you two at the airport to sign for that mummy thing personally, okay?
Okay.
Cheers.
Bye-bye.
Bye, sweetie.
Good morning, Mrs.
Deline.
It's a beautiful day for flying.
Good morning, sir. "
Ramses II, "known as Ramses the Great, reigned over Ancient Egypt around 1300 B.C."
Wow.
It says he's believed to have sired over 100 children.
Oh, that's exhausting.
Yeah.
How pissed is the Luxor they didn't get thisxhibit?
This mummy has never left Egypt.
This is his first stop on a ten-city U.S.
tour.
They are irate.
Gentlemen, I am Michel Azoulay.
The curator for the Ramses exhibit.
Ah--Danny McCoy, Mike Cannon, heads of, uh, surveillance and security at the Montecito.
That's good.
If you would please come to inspect the mummy so we can sign off on the insurance policy...
Out of curiosity, how does-- How much is something like this insured for?
Oh, it's a difficult situation, because obviously, it's priceless.
Its value isn't monetary, it's sacred.
But since insurance companies don't compensate for the divine, the policy is for $400 million.
$400 million?
Yes, that's right.
Holy...
Gentlemen, may I present Ramses the Great.
Oh, that looks like Ramses to me.
Yeah...he's definitely aged a bit.
Hey, let's go play hooky.
Can't.
Don't be a wimp.
We'll go get massages, have a bottle of champagne, wax, live like human beings.
I'd love to, but I can't.
I have a whale coming in.
So let one of yourlunkies take care of him.
Don't you have any power around here?
Unfortunately, even I can't subject someone to the tortures of Harris Lipsky.
Who?
Harris Lipsky.
Big, disgusting, hairy pig of a man.
Although he did make a fortune in construction, he could easily blow $2 million this weekend.
I just hope we don't have to watch the man eat.
Guys, we have a major problem.
What?
He's back.
Who, who?
David Wohl.
Notorious room thief.
Last time he was here, he took, like, like, a dozen towels and robes.
even took the alarm clock and a painting off the wall.
Wow.
Wow.
Must be in the black book.
Yeah, tell Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Yeah--you don't think we should call Ed, do you?
Ah...
No.
No.
All right, let's go.
Let's go, on three.
One, two, three.
It's pretty light.
Dude hasn't eaten in 3,000 years.
Uh...you think this qualifies as an emergency?
All right, get me Ed.
www.1000fr.com present...
Capture:FRM@MAOREN Sync:FRM@mwpdhd But--Ed, I have no idea.
Mike's on the phone with the airport right now to see if we can get access to their cameras.
Okay, got it.
Okay, we need a flight plan of every private plane that's left since the robbery.
Okay, we want to see if it's still in Vegas.
Got it.
Look, tell them.
They've got me on hold.
You did this on purpose, didn't you?
What, staged a robbery so I wouldn't have to fly to France?
I wouldn't put it past you.
Well, I wouldn't put it past me either, but it just so happens I didn't.
Oscar.
Uh, back to Vegas, huh?
Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We have temporary access to some of the airport cameras.
Here we go.
Hey, there's the crate.
Punch in.
Can you get any closer, Marcus?
Look, this is as close as we can get.
I'm sorry if it's not up to par with your fancy equipment.
Enough.
Mitch?
Got it.
(Mike) Okay, Mitch, zoom in on that.
[beep] Okay, there's the switch.
They got any other angles?
You got any other angles?
No, we're just one of the busiest airports in the world, with about a tenth of your surveillance budget.
You want a job or something, Marcus?
Why, are you hiring?
Punch in on the-- the handler.
See if you can I.Q.
him.
Nothin'.
What about that little nametag?
Gravy Jones.
Nice name.
That's not Gravy Jones.
I know him.
Of course.
You know where we can find him?
Yes, I do.
Let's go.
Thank you, Marcus.
Guys?
Hello?
So where do I send that rum�?
Could I get a cocktail or something?
Sure, a waitress will be right by.
So what do you know about a robbery at the airport today?
Man, who's this fool?
Gravy, you can either talk to us, or you can talk to the cops, but this will be your third strike.
Come on, man.
Someone stole my uniform.
Check with airport security.
I called it in.
You got nothing.
Okay, well, then, I'm going to have to call your P.O.
Tell him about this situation, let him bring you in for questioning, maybe, uh--I don't know, maybe a drug test?
Come on, Danny.
I've known you since the third grade.
You wouldn't do that to me.
Of course not.
But this fool would.
Man.
Look.
All I know is somebody gave me two grand to call in sick today and borrow my shirt.
I heard him mention a job for some rich A-rab dude down at the Palms.
Now, they say he's like a president or something.
So they said I couldn't get in no trouble.
President of what?
Man, I don't know.
He's got a limo with those fancy flags on 'em.
Where that waitress at?
Hey, sweetie.
Yeah, you.
How 'bout you give these a blow for good luck?
You know what?
I'll sweeten the deal.
Give these a blow, and a peck on the cheek, 500 bucks.
Okay.
'Kay.
The American way, Sam.
I'm sure the Founding Fathers would be very proud.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
Yes!
Yes!
I knew you were good luck.
How about another shot on the cheek?
How about another 500 bucks?
Come on, what are you, hustling me?
No.
We're college students.
Want another 500?
You have to kiss her.
With tongue.
(Sam) Uh, all right.
All right.
What?
We're just having a little fun here.
Look, if you want women to perform for you, we can set something up back in the privacy of your own suite.
I don't want hookers.
Any bozo can get hookers.
What do you want?
I want people to do what they wouldn't normally do.
That's how I get my thrills.
Two grand.
Start making out.
Go ahead.
Do it.
Yes!
What a country!
What do we know?
Ah.
ere's a Levon Najar.
Lebanese ambassador.
That could be him.
Where is he?
The Palms.
He has the entire penthouse floor.
Michel, why would anyone steal a mummy?
I mean, I don't imagine as much of a black market for 3,000-year-old pharaohs.
No, no, no.
Autre.
It's not a question of money.
What is now Lebanon was then part of Egypt, and there are still those who believe they are the rightful owners of the tomb.
Cool, it got a Raiders of the Lost Ark kind of feel.
You don't--we'll find it.
Don't worry.
Hey, guys.
Yes.
Hello.
We have a major situation.
Yeah, we know.
Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?
We're working on it.
Well, David Wohl just checked into his room, and he's probably cleaning us out as we speak.
Who?
David Wohl.
Room thief?
Comes in twice a year, takes a bunch of stuff from the room, we charge his credit card, he disputes the charges-- well, not this time.
This time, I say we set up a sting operation.
Yeah, why don't you take the lead on that?
You should keep an eye on him for us.
I'm not on the surveillance team, so-- Well, we'll, uh-- we'll deputize you.
Hey, yeah.
Really?
Okay--is there, like, a ceremony or something?
Uh...
Yeah, of cou-- We--we pronounce you deputized.
Heh heh.
There you go.
That's it?
You guys.
Ed's back.
All right, good.
Good luck.
Okay, yeah.
Deputy...
What do we know?
Uh, what do we know?
Uh, they switched boxes at the airport.
They musta had a bunch of guys in there working on the inside.
Good news is, we still think it's in Las Vegas.
Only two private planes have left in the last few hours, yours and Steve Wynn's.
Doubt if he took it.
Especially after he put his elbow through that $148 million painting...
Hmm.
Well, I mean, uh...
If Steve Wynn hasn't got it, who--who does?
Well, we believe there's an Armenian ambassador-- Lebanese.
Lebanese ambassador.
Yeah--whatever.
Uh, Levon Najar.
Najar.
Oh, come on.
He's holed up in the penthouse over at the Palms right now.
Tons of security.
Honey, uh...
get me George Maloof at the, uh, Palms, please.
Oh, and before the robbery, I signed an insurance policy.
$40 million deductible.
Great.
Mr.
Deline?
Mr.
Maloof is on line one.
Hey, George.
Bonjour, Ed.
How's Paris?
Uh, didn't get there yet.
How the hell did he know that I was going to Paris?
We have a situation here, buddy.
Um, seems that, um, one of your guests has something that belongs to us.
Well, you know I'd love to help the Montecito any way I can.
What'd you lose?
Uh, can't get into that.
Who's got it?
Well, uh, we have reason to believe that the, um, Lebanese ambassador staying at your penthouse is behind this.
Sorry, Ed.
My hands are tied.
Mr.
Najar has diplomatic immunity and has asked for complete privacy.
Thanks, buddy, uh, I'll remember that.
Okay, Ed.
We'll see ya.
Should we call the cops?
Ah, the guy's got diplomatic immunity.
Can't touch him.
Well, if he took the thing, he's obviously a thief.
So what do you want to do?
I guess there's only one thing we can do.
We're gonna steal it back, boys.
Might I be the first to point out the illegality of all this?
You don't want to do it, don't do it.
I didn't say I didn't want to do it.
Simply stating my aversion to small, confining spaces for 10 to 20 years.
Listen, there is no one going to jail, okay?
I mean, all we're doing is simply reclaiming something that belongs to us.
Now are you in or out?
I'm in.
Mike?
One condition--we go to jail, I get the top bunk.
Yeah.
You know, we-- we go to jail, either one of you pretty boys don't have to worry about it.
You won't be getting too much sleep anyway.
Know what I mean?
Well, here we are, Mr.
Wohl.
Your room comes supplied with four bath towels, three hand towels, and one bathmat.
Thank you.
Yeah...
Also sheets.
Bose stereo, and, uh, this is your vase.
Quite lovely.
Believe it's a Godinger.
It's very nice, Ms.
Connell.
It is, isn't it?
And I, uh, should warn you that our minibar has automatic sensors that will trigger if you remove anything, but I'm sure that you know that already.
Yes.
Thank you.
Anything else?
Yeah, I have to go to the bathroom.
Gudie!
Hi.
Yes, Ms.
Mary?
Listen, um, I'm working special ops for the boys upstairs, and I can't get into specifics, but Mr.
Wohl is under investigation.
He is a criminal?
Oh, he's a very dangerous man.
So if he asks for anything extra for his room, I mean, towels, robes, anything at all...
you let me know.
Okay, sera.
Okay.
And Gudelia?
Be careful.
Yeah, I'll need access to the Palms' main grid.
Not an overrun, just a transport.
Thank you, sweetie.
I owe you one.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
I'll owe you two.
Oh--okay, thank you.
Bye-bye.
Who was that?
Just a...old friend.
Mm.
You look guilty, McCoy.
What's going on?
Nothing, just business as usual.
Oh.
You know.
Doesn't have anything to do with the mummy being stolen?
Who told you about that?
My mom called, hysterical.
She's convinced my father staged the whole thing.
She thinks he's brighter than he is.
Well, love is blind.
I want in.
What?
You guys are gonna steal it back, and I wanna help.
You can't help.
Why not?
Because it's dangerous, okay?
And it's illegal.
And contrary to your imagination, this is not going to be fun.
This is serious business, so-- How cool is this disguise?
I am so in.
Mm.
Mm.
Harris.
We can get you another steak if you're still hungry.
Closer to the bone, tender is the meat, baby.
Mm!
Mm!
Mm!
I love that marrow.
Sure.
That's where all the good cholesterol is.
You and me, we're just alike, Sam.
Clearly.
We both exploit the depravity of man.
Or woman.
I don't exploit people.
I make sure their needs are met.
And when they're in my care, they have the best experience possible.
Yeah, whatever.
You see what money does to people, is the point I'm making.
Mm-hmm.
Ideals, principles.
For a few of these, I can get them to do anything I want.
Oh, come on, Harris.
Not everyone can be bought.
Sure they can.
Mm-mm.
Everyone has a price, Sam.
Even you.
Oh, even me?
I think that gristle's getting to your head.
You can be bought.
It wouldn't be very hard.
Look, Harris.
You don't know me.
I was married to a billionaire.
I left him.
I didn't take a penny.
Money means nothing to me if I didn't earn it.
Really.
Really.
I'll give you a million dollars to sleep with me.
What?
You heard me.
A million, cash.
You're serious.
Excuse me.
I gotta go make a little withdrawal.
I'll see you in my room in 20 minutes.
I'd better go floss.
The Palms has 40 floors.
Najar is staying in the penthouse.
He's got two armed guards outside at all times.
What about roof access here?
Uh, no.
There's no way we can get in there.
There's cameras all over the place.
No, no, not us.
Him.
I mean, what if he tries to, you know, chopper it out from the roof?
I can see if he's prearranged something.
That would be good.
Now, if he decides to drive it to the airport, how does he get there?
Well, most likely, he'd load an armored truck from the back.
Yeah.
If I were him, I'd stay off the strip.
Probably take the back road out from the loading dock down to East Harmon-- East Harmon over to Paradise, Paradise straight to the airport.
No, by the time he's at the airport, it's too late.
You got anything special on this guy?
Uh...not really.
Levon Najar was appointed Lebanese ambassador in 2001.
He's the son of a rich importer.
Spent some time at Kennedy School of Government at Harvard.
He's pretty clean.
He likes his, uh, gambling, his, uh, imported smokes, and his blondes.
Nice.
What do you think?
What the hell is that?
It's my maid's costume.
Cover yourself, for God's sakes.
I mean, put some clothes on!
But-- You're supposed to be a housekeeper, not a Playboy bunny.
Yeah, Delinda, totally inappropriate.
You're gonna have to go change.
Come on.
Keep this for Valentine's Day.
Okay...
Ouch!
I'm sorry.
This is an RPT 35 microphone.
I can't believe Ed's letting you do this.
I don't think this is a very good idea.
Don't be such a wuss, McCoy.
Okay, this is a tiny wireless camera.
Now, I put adhesive on the back, so you can stick it anywhere.
Once you get inside, plant it somewhere high, so we can see the entire room.
Also, try to get it near a window.
It's better reception.
Okay.
What if they frisk me?
You palm it.
Here.
Okay, open your hand.
Put it between your fingers.
That...
so if they do frisk you, they're probably not gonna check your hands, okay?
Chances are, they'll be more focused on other body parts.
Sorry.
So.
You ready?
And you know what you're gonna do?
Yeah, I'm ready.
All right.
Be careful.
Always.
Ellen.
Yes, honey?
Hi.
Did Harris Lipsky make any sort of, uh, withdrawal?
Yeah, I gave him a mil.
But I ordered more from the vault.
So don't worry.
We're covered.
Whatever.
Sam, are you all right?
You look sick.
Sam?
A mummy was stolen.
Do I have any control of that?
There's always something stolen, Ed.
If it's not this, it's money, it's jewelry, it's a ham sandwich.
It is my job, Jillian, okay?
Yes, and you're very good at your job.
Better than any other part of your life.
Oh, I get it.
So now, I've been a crappy husband for 30 years 'cause I blew one trip to Paris, is that it?
I didn't mean it like that-- Well, you said it like that.
You're a wonderful husband.
You're a wonderful father.
I'm just saying it's time to slow down.
I don't want to slow down.
What else can you achieve?
We moved here to Las Vegas so you could start a second career, and you've built an empire.
Mission accomplished.
It's time to reap the fruits of your labor.
Honey, listen to this.
I-I don't want to hurt your feelings, but going to Paris is not reaping any fruits, okay?
It's torture.
Fine.
We'll go somewhere else, okay?
We'll just go somewhere else while we're young.
I hate to break this to you, honey, but we're not babies anymore.
I-I don't feel like that.
I know.
I feel just as young as I've ever felt.
I know, I know you do.
But you're not.
Well, thank you very much.
Honey, this is an important moment.
I-I don't want to live in Las Vegas for the rest of my life.
I want to see the world.
What--what do you want out of the rest of your life?
And--and answer honestly.
Honestly?
Yes.
I very much-- uh, very much would like to be a-- a scratch golfer.
What, uh-uh?
Listen, see?
You ask me to be honest, and that's what I get.
I know.
Why do I even ask?
Well, what do you-- Why?
Another one?
He--yeah, gimme.
Keep 'em coming.
Hmm.
Does anyone have a horse tranquilizer?
Pastry?
There you go.
Hey, you know what?
Knock yourself out.
Take two.
Thanks.
Hey, Mitch.
Yes?
Cream-filled doughnut?
Uh, sure.
Thanks, Mary.
It's a stakeout, right?
You gotta eat.
I guess so.
So...
What do we got cooking?
Uh, he ordered a bunch of towels and robes earlier.
Nothing since then.
Can't we get in there?
There's no cameras in the rooms.
Might be a small insion of privacy.
Right.
Okay.
Surveillance, huh?
Yeah.
Pretty boring, huh?
Oh, yeah.
What are you doing?
Surveilling.
Oh, Mary...
Why is this all black and white?
Lower lux sensitivity.
Better for enhancing our high frequency.
Really.
Or I could do this.
Nerd.
Jealous.
Watch it, buddy.
Thanks, sweetie.
She'll be fine.
Hey.
Come in.
Why don't you pour us a drink?
The champagne's on ice.
Actually, Harris, I, uh...
I came to tell you that I'm not interested.
What do I do with that?
If that's not an aphrodisiac, I don't know what is.
It's not gonna happen.
No one'll ever know.
I'll know.
For a million dollars, you can get counseling.
What the hell is wrong with you?
This is the only way you can get off?
Buying people's integrity?
You're the most disgusting pig I've ever met.
Believe me, that's saying a lot.
$2 million.
$2 million.
No taxes.
And no one will ever know.
And I gotta tell ya, I'm not that good.
It'll be over in less than five minutes.
It's a no-brainer, Sam.
Go get it.
What's wrong?
Yeah, the signal is weak here.
Give me a second.
Well, hurry up and get it back up.
I told her to put it near a window.
Here we go.
Oh--oh-- What's this right here?
Zoom in.
I'd better tell Ed.
[suspenseful music] Wow.
Wow.
What is such a pretty girl doing as a maid?
A girl needs to pay the bills.
You have quite an expensive manicure.
And you have very, very soft hair.
You must have very high bills.
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
I told you.
My job.
Who sent you?
Housekeeping.
Look.
Are you scared?
Hmm?
Because you should be.
You know that I can do anything I want to you, and there's no one to stop me, so let me ask you again.
What are you doing here?
Okay, okay.
I'm not a maid.
Of course.
Who are you?
Look, I heard you guys had a lot of dough up here.
I told you.
A girl's gotta pay the bills.
Anyone interested?
Let's try to go pay some of those bills.
Shall we?
I'll be a few minutes.
Oh, my God.
Do something!
We don't have a camera in there--quiet.
Quiet, quiet.
Take off your clothes.
All right, that's it.
I'm going in there.
Wait, wait.
What's the rush, sugar?
Let's talk price first.
You will be well compensated.
Now undress.
All right, that's it.
I'll see you.
I doubt that, uh, you have come here for sex.
But...since you are here...
Whoa, whoa.
What's--what's the rush?
How, uh...
how about a drink?
I don't drink.
Um...can I, uh, use your phone?
No, sorry.
Need to talk to my service.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Get final approval-- Don't worry.
No one can hear you.
And even if they could, I doubt they would do anything.
It's Vegas, baby.
Got it.
Fire alarm...
Everyone cover the mummy!
Forget the girl.
Danny, we got it.
$2 million.
For five minutes' work?
Beautiful.
He's a pig.
So?
I like bacon.
I'd send you up if I could.
What's the worst that could happen?
He could fall asleep and smother me?
Keep your cell phone in one hand.
Call me and I'll bring up the jaws of life.
It's 400 grand a minute.
$6,666 a second.
666.
Perfect.
What the hell is wrong with you?
How come you're not up there right now, getting this over with?
I'm not drunk enough yet.
Did you know that Robert Redford only offered that girl a million dollars in the movie?
Although he is Robert Redford.
Yeah, and every girl would've done him for free.
How many guys have you slept with that afterwards, you realized he's a pig?
Here, you got the whole thing right in front of you.
Where's the dilemma?
You do this all the time, right?
Yeah, in a perfect world, several times a day.
So it's no big deal?
What's your day job?
I'm the number one casino host in Las Vegas.
So you screw guys out of money all day long.
Are you saying that you don't think there's any difference between you and me?
There's a big difference.
With your guys, see, the casino gets all the cash.
But I pick my clients, and I keep everything.
Nice.
Yeah, but what if I nevefeel the same way about money again?
And what if, for the rest of my life, every time I look at a dollar bill, all I can think of is some fat, sweaty, pumping pile of pork looming over me?
Get a debit card.
Works for me.
Whore.
Quickly, quickly!
Danny, where are you?
Danny.
Uh-oh.
Sam.
Where'd you go?
I got the money.
I'm not doing it, Harris.
You know what the problem is with selling your dignity?
You can't buy it back.
Come on.
No, no.
no.
Don't touch me.
Look, I'm sorry.
Do you think anyone could ever love me?
What are you talking about?
Seriously.
If I wasn't loaded, you think I'd ever get laid?
Uh...no, I don't.
Exactly.
That's why I buy people.
I buy them before they can reject me.
What else can I do?
You could try being yourself.
No, actually.
That-- that's not gonna work.
You could try pretending to be someone else.
See, like, you could go up to a girl, and you could pretend to be, you know, uh...
a decent guy, for a goof.
And if she rejected you, it wouldn't matter, right?
Because you're not really being yourself anyway.
Who should I be?
I'm gonna say almost anyone is an improvement at this point.
I will.
I'll try that.
Good.
Thanks, Sam.
Okay.
Uh, and Harris?
Button up.
Honey, it's almost morning now.
Why don't you go home and get some sleep, huh?
I don't want to go home.
I want to go to Paris.
Listen.
I promise you, this very night, you will sleep in Paris.
You have my word.
Oop.
Yeah, what?
He found the camera.
The package is moving.
All right, got it.
I, uh...I gotta go.
I'm going with you.
Uh...
This is not fun and games.
It's my job.
No, I'm going with you.
You know what?
As a matter of fact, this particular part of my job could be, uh, fun.
So okay, come on.
Really?
Yeah.
Just hurry up.
Put on your shoes before I realize what a stupid idea this is.
Sure.
Let's go.
welcome to www.1000fr.com How are we doing today?
Just open the back.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
So, uh, we headed to the airport?
You'll ride with him.
Sorry, company policy is only employees can ride in the truck.
Of course.
Put the gun to his head.
Welcome aboard, my man.
Ha ha.
Hey, hey.
Careful, careful.
It's a bumpy ride.
Maybe you should keep the safety on.
Drive.
Okay.
Okay.
Hello?
Okay.
Got it, Ed.
Yeah, I'm tracking the truck right now.
Done.
Sorry.
Red light.
[truck honking and screeching] Watch where you're going!
The truck has stopped.
Positions ready.
What are you, blind?
Go.
What?
Drive!
No way.
It's a red light.
Drive, or I will shoot you in the head.
Driving.
Hey!
The package is moving.
Repeat, the package is moving.
That's him.
That's him, he's leaving.
Do something!
Who?
David Wohl!
Arrest him!
We don't arrest people.
We detain them.
Detain him, then.
We can't-- we don't know if he took anything.
Okay, let's go quickly.
Come on.
Yes sir, yes sir.
Open the back.
Hey, you guys got something illegal in there?
Shoot him.
I'm opening it.
I'm opening it.
Dela.
Get it on the plane.
Very carefully.
Go.
Carefully.
Hold it right there.
Just stop him right here.
Lemme see your hands.
Hey--oh.
My name is Levon Najar.
I have diplomatic immunity.
Subject to articles 29 and 31 of the Vienna Convention.
Have a nice flight, Mr.
Najar.
Whoa, whoa there.
Well, that's it?
This guy just stole a 3,000-year-old, uh, mummy here.
You gonna let him go like that?
Nothin
Yes, we've relocated the high roller pit to the east endof the casino.
However, if that's a problem, we can probably reconfigure the exhibit, don't you think?
Absolutely, if that would make things easier for you, Sam.
Would you like a muffin?
What the hell is going on?
Did you guys finally have some crazy tantric sex together?
Such hostility--I wonder where she gets that anger.
Loneliness.
A scarred little girl, crying out to be loved.
Come here.
You didn't read the memo, did you, Sam?
Oh, okay.
Very funny.
She didn't read the memo...
It's a shame.
Mm.
Such a shame.
Good morning, everybody.
What a beautiful day.
Doesn't it feel great to be alive?
Would you like a muffin?
It does.
Oh, no, I'm all set.
Buthank you, Danny.
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
Mary.
Mary.
Uh-huh?
What the hell is going on?
Someone dose your Cheerios?
Didn't you read the memos?
She doesn't read memos.
She's too cool.
Okay, what memo?
I just read the memo.
Is it true?
What?
Oh.
Yeah, I'm, uh...
I'm taking your mom to Paris for Valentine's Day.
I thought you hated France.
The French, not-- not France.
Besides, it's your mother's favorite city in the world.
And I've been promising to take her there for a while.
I don't understand why anybody would want to leave Las Vegas, though.
This is an incredibly romantic thing you're doing.
Yeah...you know.
Don't screw it up.
I'm not gonna screw it up.
It's just that I don't understand why we can't go to Hawaii like normal people.
Because Paris is the most romantic city in the world.
Listen to me.
They don't know how to win wars.
They don't play golf.
I have absolutely nothing in common with these people.
Bonjour, monsieur!
Etes-vous exit� aller � Paris?
And they talk like that.
Wait, Ed's going to Paris?
Why am I here?
I could've slept in.
He's still here.
And, uh...
when he leaves, I'll be in charge, so if you miss work, you're done.
Okay?
I'm done?
Yeah, you're done.
Wouldn't that be funny, if, uh, you actually had the power to fire me?
Oh, I could fire you.
Oh, really?
Oh, yes.
Isn't that right, Mike?
You know, I'm not very comfortable with the way that was phrased.
I'd say we were co-in charge.
Fine.
We're both in charge.
Therefore, we could both fire Sam.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, why don't you go ahead and try it?
I would like to see that.
We will.
Oh.
Speak of the devil.
Speaking of the devil?
Thank you.
Yeah.
Hey, lemme ask you a question.
Do these two idiots have the power to fire me?
I-I don't know why-- Hold it.
Hold it.
Wait, excuse me.
Why would they need to fire you?
Well, obviously, there would be no good reason to fire me.
But I'm just asking, you know, what the hierarchy is when you're away.
Hierarchy.
Well, well, here-- here's how it goes.
Okay?
You guys have a problem.
You call me.
I will fly home immediately and take care of it.
I think we're gonna get along just fine.
Yeah, you guys go ahead and have a great trip.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Listen, now, come on.
I need you two at the airport to sign for that mummy thing personally, okay?
Okay.
Cheers.
Bye-bye.
Bye, sweetie.
Good morning, Mrs.
Deline.
It's a beautiful day for flying.
Good morning, sir. "
Ramses II, "known as Ramses the Great, reigned over Ancient Egypt around 1300 B.C."
Wow.
It says he's believed to have sired over 100 children.
Oh, that's exhausting.
Yeah.
How pissed is the Luxor they didn't get thisxhibit?
This mummy has never left Egypt.
This is his first stop on a ten-city U.S.
tour.
They are irate.
Gentlemen, I am Michel Azoulay.
The curator for the Ramses exhibit.
Ah--Danny McCoy, Mike Cannon, heads of, uh, surveillance and security at the Montecito.
That's good.
If you would please come to inspect the mummy so we can sign off on the insurance policy...
Out of curiosity, how does-- How much is something like this insured for?
Oh, it's a difficult situation, because obviously, it's priceless.
Its value isn't monetary, it's sacred.
But since insurance companies don't compensate for the divine, the policy is for $400 million.
$400 million?
Yes, that's right.
Holy...
Gentlemen, may I present Ramses the Great.
Oh, that looks like Ramses to me.
Yeah...he's definitely aged a bit.
Hey, let's go play hooky.
Can't.
Don't be a wimp.
We'll go get massages, have a bottle of champagne, wax, live like human beings.
I'd love to, but I can't.
I have a whale coming in.
So let one of yourlunkies take care of him.
Don't you have any power around here?
Unfortunately, even I can't subject someone to the tortures of Harris Lipsky.
Who?
Harris Lipsky.
Big, disgusting, hairy pig of a man.
Although he did make a fortune in construction, he could easily blow $2 million this weekend.
I just hope we don't have to watch the man eat.
Guys, we have a major problem.
What?
He's back.
Who, who?
David Wohl.
Notorious room thief.
Last time he was here, he took, like, like, a dozen towels and robes.
even took the alarm clock and a painting off the wall.
Wow.
Wow.
Must be in the black book.
Yeah, tell Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Yeah--you don't think we should call Ed, do you?
Ah...
No.
No.
All right, let's go.
Let's go, on three.
One, two, three.
It's pretty light.
Dude hasn't eaten in 3,000 years.
Uh...you think this qualifies as an emergency?
All right, get me Ed.
www.1000fr.com present...
Capture:FRM@MAOREN Sync:FRM@mwpdhd But--Ed, I have no idea.
Mike's on the phone with the airport right now to see if we can get access to their cameras.
Okay, got it.
Okay, we need a flight plan of every private plane that's left since the robbery.
Okay, we want to see if it's still in Vegas.
Got it.
Look, tell them.
They've got me on hold.
You did this on purpose, didn't you?
What, staged a robbery so I wouldn't have to fly to France?
I wouldn't put it past you.
Well, I wouldn't put it past me either, but it just so happens I didn't.
Oscar.
Uh, back to Vegas, huh?
Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We have temporary access to some of the airport cameras.
Here we go.
Hey, there's the crate.
Punch in.
Can you get any closer, Marcus?
Look, this is as close as we can get.
I'm sorry if it's not up to par with your fancy equipment.
Enough.
Mitch?
Got it.
(Mike) Okay, Mitch, zoom in on that.
[beep] Okay, there's the switch.
They got any other angles?
You got any other angles?
No, we're just one of the busiest airports in the world, with about a tenth of your surveillance budget.
You want a job or something, Marcus?
Why, are you hiring?
Punch in on the-- the handler.
See if you can I.Q.
him.
Nothin'.
What about that little nametag?
Gravy Jones.
Nice name.
That's not Gravy Jones.
I know him.
Of course.
You know where we can find him?
Yes, I do.
Let's go.
Thank you, Marcus.
Guys?
Hello?
So where do I send that rum�?
Could I get a cocktail or something?
Sure, a waitress will be right by.
So what do you know about a robbery at the airport today?
Man, who's this fool?
Gravy, you can either talk to us, or you can talk to the cops, but this will be your third strike.
Come on, man.
Someone stole my uniform.
Check with airport security.
I called it in.
You got nothing.
Okay, well, then, I'm going to have to call your P.O.
Tell him about this situation, let him bring you in for questioning, maybe, uh--I don't know, maybe a drug test?
Come on, Danny.
I've known you since the third grade.
You wouldn't do that to me.
Of course not.
But this fool would.
Man.
Look.
All I know is somebody gave me two grand to call in sick today and borrow my shirt.
I heard him mention a job for some rich A-rab dude down at the Palms.
Now, they say he's like a president or something.
So they said I couldn't get in no trouble.
President of what?
Man, I don't know.
He's got a limo with those fancy flags on 'em.
Where that waitress at?
Hey, sweetie.
Yeah, you.
How 'bout you give these a blow for good luck?
You know what?
I'll sweeten the deal.
Give these a blow, and a peck on the cheek, 500 bucks.
Okay.
'Kay.
The American way, Sam.
I'm sure the Founding Fathers would be very proud.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
Yes!
Yes!
I knew you were good luck.
How about another shot on the cheek?
How about another 500 bucks?
Come on, what are you, hustling me?
No.
We're college students.
Want another 500?
You have to kiss her.
With tongue.
(Sam) Uh, all right.
All right.
What?
We're just having a little fun here.
Look, if you want women to perform for you, we can set something up back in the privacy of your own suite.
I don't want hookers.
Any bozo can get hookers.
What do you want?
I want people to do what they wouldn't normally do.
That's how I get my thrills.
Two grand.
Start making out.
Go ahead.
Do it.
Yes!
What a country!
What do we know?
Ah.
ere's a Levon Najar.
Lebanese ambassador.
That could be him.
Where is he?
The Palms.
He has the entire penthouse floor.
Michel, why would anyone steal a mummy?
I mean, I don't imagine as much of a black market for 3,000-year-old pharaohs.
No, no, no.
Autre.
It's not a question of money.
What is now Lebanon was then part of Egypt, and there are still those who believe they are the rightful owners of the tomb.
Cool, it got a Raiders of the Lost Ark kind of feel.
You don't--we'll find it.
Don't worry.
Hey, guys.
Yes.
Hello.
We have a major situation.
Yeah, we know.
Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?
We're working on it.
Well, David Wohl just checked into his room, and he's probably cleaning us out as we speak.
Who?
David Wohl.
Room thief?
Comes in twice a year, takes a bunch of stuff from the room, we charge his credit card, he disputes the charges-- well, not this time.
This time, I say we set up a sting operation.
Yeah, why don't you take the lead on that?
You should keep an eye on him for us.
I'm not on the surveillance team, so-- Well, we'll, uh-- we'll deputize you.
Hey, yeah.
Really?
Okay--is there, like, a ceremony or something?
Uh...
Yeah, of cou-- We--we pronounce you deputized.
Heh heh.
There you go.
That's it?
You guys.
Ed's back.
All right, good.
Good luck.
Okay, yeah.
Deputy...
What do we know?
Uh, what do we know?
Uh, they switched boxes at the airport.
They musta had a bunch of guys in there working on the inside.
Good news is, we still think it's in Las Vegas.
Only two private planes have left in the last few hours, yours and Steve Wynn's.
Doubt if he took it.
Especially after he put his elbow through that $148 million painting...
Hmm.
Well, I mean, uh...
If Steve Wynn hasn't got it, who--who does?
Well, we believe there's an Armenian ambassador-- Lebanese.
Lebanese ambassador.
Yeah--whatever.
Uh, Levon Najar.
Najar.
Oh, come on.
He's holed up in the penthouse over at the Palms right now.
Tons of security.
Honey, uh...
get me George Maloof at the, uh, Palms, please.
Oh, and before the robbery, I signed an insurance policy.
$40 million deductible.
Great.
Mr.
Deline?
Mr.
Maloof is on line one.
Hey, George.
Bonjour, Ed.
How's Paris?
Uh, didn't get there yet.
How the hell did he know that I was going to Paris?
We have a situation here, buddy.
Um, seems that, um, one of your guests has something that belongs to us.
Well, you know I'd love to help the Montecito any way I can.
What'd you lose?
Uh, can't get into that.
Who's got it?
Well, uh, we have reason to believe that the, um, Lebanese ambassador staying at your penthouse is behind this.
Sorry, Ed.
My hands are tied.
Mr.
Najar has diplomatic immunity and has asked for complete privacy.
Thanks, buddy, uh, I'll remember that.
Okay, Ed.
We'll see ya.
Should we call the cops?
Ah, the guy's got diplomatic immunity.
Can't touch him.
Well, if he took the thing, he's obviously a thief.
So what do you want to do?
I guess there's only one thing we can do.
We're gonna steal it back, boys.
Might I be the first to point out the illegality of all this?
You don't want to do it, don't do it.
I didn't say I didn't want to do it.
Simply stating my aversion to small, confining spaces for 10 to 20 years.
Listen, there is no one going to jail, okay?
I mean, all we're doing is simply reclaiming something that belongs to us.
Now are you in or out?
I'm in.
Mike?
One condition--we go to jail, I get the top bunk.
Yeah.
You know, we-- we go to jail, either one of you pretty boys don't have to worry about it.
You won't be getting too much sleep anyway.
Know what I mean?
Well, here we are, Mr.
Wohl.
Your room comes supplied with four bath towels, three hand towels, and one bathmat.
Thank you.
Yeah...
Also sheets.
Bose stereo, and, uh, this is your vase.
Quite lovely.
Believe it's a Godinger.
It's very nice, Ms.
Connell.
It is, isn't it?
And I, uh, should warn you that our minibar has automatic sensors that will trigger if you remove anything, but I'm sure that you know that already.
Yes.
Thank you.
Anything else?
Yeah, I have to go to the bathroom.
Gudie!
Hi.
Yes, Ms.
Mary?
Listen, um, I'm working special ops for the boys upstairs, and I can't get into specifics, but Mr.
Wohl is under investigation.
He is a criminal?
Oh, he's a very dangerous man.
So if he asks for anything extra for his room, I mean, towels, robes, anything at all...
you let me know.
Okay, sera.
Okay.
And Gudelia?
Be careful.
Yeah, I'll need access to the Palms' main grid.
Not an overrun, just a transport.
Thank you, sweetie.
I owe you one.
Okay.
Okay, fine.
I'll owe you two.
Oh--okay, thank you.
Bye-bye.
Who was that?
Just a...old friend.
Mm.
You look guilty, McCoy.
What's going on?
Nothing, just business as usual.
Oh.
You know.
Doesn't have anything to do with the mummy being stolen?
Who told you about that?
My mom called, hysterical.
She's convinced my father staged the whole thing.
She thinks he's brighter than he is.
Well, love is blind.
I want in.
What?
You guys are gonna steal it back, and I wanna help.
You can't help.
Why not?
Because it's dangerous, okay?
And it's illegal.
And contrary to your imagination, this is not going to be fun.
This is serious business, so-- How cool is this disguise?
I am so in.
Mm.
Mm.
Harris.
We can get you another steak if you're still hungry.
Closer to the bone, tender is the meat, baby.
Mm!
Mm!
Mm!
I love that marrow.
Sure.
That's where all the good cholesterol is.
You and me, we're just alike, Sam.
Clearly.
We both exploit the depravity of man.
Or woman.
I don't exploit people.
I make sure their needs are met.
And when they're in my care, they have the best experience possible.
Yeah, whatever.
You see what money does to people, is the point I'm making.
Mm-hmm.
Ideals, principles.
For a few of these, I can get them to do anything I want.
Oh, come on, Harris.
Not everyone can be bought.
Sure they can.
Mm-mm.
Everyone has a price, Sam.
Even you.
Oh, even me?
I think that gristle's getting to your head.
You can be bought.
It wouldn't be very hard.
Look, Harris.
You don't know me.
I was married to a billionaire.
I left him.
I didn't take a penny.
Money means nothing to me if I didn't earn it.
Really.
Really.
I'll give you a million dollars to sleep with me.
What?
You heard me.
A million, cash.
You're serious.
Excuse me.
I gotta go make a little withdrawal.
I'll see you in my room in 20 minutes.
I'd better go floss.
The Palms has 40 floors.
Najar is staying in the penthouse.
He's got two armed guards outside at all times.
What about roof access here?
Uh, no.
There's no way we can get in there.
There's cameras all over the place.
No, no, not us.
Him.
I mean, what if he tries to, you know, chopper it out from the roof?
I can see if he's prearranged something.
That would be good.
Now, if he decides to drive it to the airport, how does he get there?
Well, most likely, he'd load an armored truck from the back.
Yeah.
If I were him, I'd stay off the strip.
Probably take the back road out from the loading dock down to East Harmon-- East Harmon over to Paradise, Paradise straight to the airport.
No, by the time he's at the airport, it's too late.
You got anything special on this guy?
Uh...not really.
Levon Najar was appointed Lebanese ambassador in 2001.
He's the son of a rich importer.
Spent some time at Kennedy School of Government at Harvard.
He's pretty clean.
He likes his, uh, gambling, his, uh, imported smokes, and his blondes.
Nice.
What do you think?
What the hell is that?
It's my maid's costume.
Cover yourself, for God's sakes.
I mean, put some clothes on!
But-- You're supposed to be a housekeeper, not a Playboy bunny.
Yeah, Delinda, totally inappropriate.
You're gonna have to go change.
Come on.
Keep this for Valentine's Day.
Okay...
Ouch!
I'm sorry.
This is an RPT 35 microphone.
I can't believe Ed's letting you do this.
I don't think this is a very good idea.
Don't be such a wuss, McCoy.
Okay, this is a tiny wireless camera.
Now, I put adhesive on the back, so you can stick it anywhere.
Once you get inside, plant it somewhere high, so we can see the entire room.
Also, try to get it near a window.
It's better reception.
Okay.
What if they frisk me?
You palm it.
Here.
Okay, open your hand.
Put it between your fingers.
That...
so if they do frisk you, they're probably not gonna check your hands, okay?
Chances are, they'll be more focused on other body parts.
Sorry.
So.
You ready?
And you know what you're gonna do?
Yeah, I'm ready.
All right.
Be careful.
Always.
Ellen.
Yes, honey?
Hi.
Did Harris Lipsky make any sort of, uh, withdrawal?
Yeah, I gave him a mil.
But I ordered more from the vault.
So don't worry.
We're covered.
Whatever.
Sam, are you all right?
You look sick.
Sam?
A mummy was stolen.
Do I have any control of that?
There's always something stolen, Ed.
If it's not this, it's money, it's jewelry, it's a ham sandwich.
It is my job, Jillian, okay?
Yes, and you're very good at your job.
Better than any other part of your life.
Oh, I get it.
So now, I've been a crappy husband for 30 years 'cause I blew one trip to Paris, is that it?
I didn't mean it like that-- Well, you said it like that.
You're a wonderful husband.
You're a wonderful father.
I'm just saying it's time to slow down.
I don't want to slow down.
What else can you achieve?
We moved here to Las Vegas so you could start a second career, and you've built an empire.
Mission accomplished.
It's time to reap the fruits of your labor.
Honey, listen to this.
I-I don't want to hurt your feelings, but going to Paris is not reaping any fruits, okay?
It's torture.
Fine.
We'll go somewhere else, okay?
We'll just go somewhere else while we're young.
I hate to break this to you, honey, but we're not babies anymore.
I-I don't feel like that.
I know.
I feel just as young as I've ever felt.
I know, I know you do.
But you're not.
Well, thank you very much.
Honey, this is an important moment.
I-I don't want to live in Las Vegas for the rest of my life.
I want to see the world.
What--what do you want out of the rest of your life?
And--and answer honestly.
Honestly?
Yes.
I very much-- uh, very much would like to be a-- a scratch golfer.
What, uh-uh?
Listen, see?
You ask me to be honest, and that's what I get.
I know.
Why do I even ask?
Well, what do you-- Why?
Another one?
He--yeah, gimme.
Keep 'em coming.
Hmm.
Does anyone have a horse tranquilizer?
Pastry?
There you go.
Hey, you know what?
Knock yourself out.
Take two.
Thanks.
Hey, Mitch.
Yes?
Cream-filled doughnut?
Uh, sure.
Thanks, Mary.
It's a stakeout, right?
You gotta eat.
I guess so.
So...
What do we got cooking?
Uh, he ordered a bunch of towels and robes earlier.
Nothing since then.
Can't we get in there?
There's no cameras in the rooms.
Might be a small insion of privacy.
Right.
Okay.
Surveillance, huh?
Yeah.
Pretty boring, huh?
Oh, yeah.
What are you doing?
Surveilling.
Oh, Mary...
Why is this all black and white?
Lower lux sensitivity.
Better for enhancing our high frequency.
Really.
Or I could do this.
Nerd.
Jealous.
Watch it, buddy.
Thanks, sweetie.
She'll be fine.
Hey.
Come in.
Why don't you pour us a drink?
The champagne's on ice.
Actually, Harris, I, uh...
I came to tell you that I'm not interested.
What do I do with that?
If that's not an aphrodisiac, I don't know what is.
It's not gonna happen.
No one'll ever know.
I'll know.
For a million dollars, you can get counseling.
What the hell is wrong with you?
This is the only way you can get off?
Buying people's integrity?
You're the most disgusting pig I've ever met.
Believe me, that's saying a lot.
$2 million.
$2 million.
No taxes.
And no one will ever know.
And I gotta tell ya, I'm not that good.
It'll be over in less than five minutes.
It's a no-brainer, Sam.
Go get it.
What's wrong?
Yeah, the signal is weak here.
Give me a second.
Well, hurry up and get it back up.
I told her to put it near a window.
Here we go.
Oh--oh-- What's this right here?
Zoom in.
I'd better tell Ed.
[suspenseful music] Wow.
Wow.
What is such a pretty girl doing as a maid?
A girl needs to pay the bills.
You have quite an expensive manicure.
And you have very, very soft hair.
You must have very high bills.
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
I told you.
My job.
Who sent you?
Housekeeping.
Look.
Are you scared?
Hmm?
Because you should be.
You know that I can do anything I want to you, and there's no one to stop me, so let me ask you again.
What are you doing here?
Okay, okay.
I'm not a maid.
Of course.
Who are you?
Look, I heard you guys had a lot of dough up here.
I told you.
A girl's gotta pay the bills.
Anyone interested?
Let's try to go pay some of those bills.
Shall we?
I'll be a few minutes.
Oh, my God.
Do something!
We don't have a camera in there--quiet.
Quiet, quiet.
Take off your clothes.
All right, that's it.
I'm going in there.
Wait, wait.
What's the rush, sugar?
Let's talk price first.
You will be well compensated.
Now undress.
All right, that's it.
I'll see you.
I doubt that, uh, you have come here for sex.
But...since you are here...
Whoa, whoa.
What's--what's the rush?
How, uh...
how about a drink?
I don't drink.
Um...can I, uh, use your phone?
No, sorry.
Need to talk to my service.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Get final approval-- Don't worry.
No one can hear you.
And even if they could, I doubt they would do anything.
It's Vegas, baby.
Got it.
Fire alarm...
Everyone cover the mummy!
Forget the girl.
Danny, we got it.
$2 million.
For five minutes' work?
Beautiful.
He's a pig.
So?
I like bacon.
I'd send you up if I could.
What's the worst that could happen?
He could fall asleep and smother me?
Keep your cell phone in one hand.
Call me and I'll bring up the jaws of life.
It's 400 grand a minute.
$6,666 a second.
666.
Perfect.
What the hell is wrong with you?
How come you're not up there right now, getting this over with?
I'm not drunk enough yet.
Did you know that Robert Redford only offered that girl a million dollars in the movie?
Although he is Robert Redford.
Yeah, and every girl would've done him for free.
How many guys have you slept with that afterwards, you realized he's a pig?
Here, you got the whole thing right in front of you.
Where's the dilemma?
You do this all the time, right?
Yeah, in a perfect world, several times a day.
So it's no big deal?
What's your day job?
I'm the number one casino host in Las Vegas.
So you screw guys out of money all day long.
Are you saying that you don't think there's any difference between you and me?
There's a big difference.
With your guys, see, the casino gets all the cash.
But I pick my clients, and I keep everything.
Nice.
Yeah, but what if I nevefeel the same way about money again?
And what if, for the rest of my life, every time I look at a dollar bill, all I can think of is some fat, sweaty, pumping pile of pork looming over me?
Get a debit card.
Works for me.
Whore.
Quickly, quickly!
Danny, where are you?
Danny.
Uh-oh.
Sam.
Where'd you go?
I got the money.
I'm not doing it, Harris.
You know what the problem is with selling your dignity?
You can't buy it back.
Come on.
No, no.
no.
Don't touch me.
Look, I'm sorry.
Do you think anyone could ever love me?
What are you talking about?
Seriously.
If I wasn't loaded, you think I'd ever get laid?
Uh...no, I don't.
Exactly.
That's why I buy people.
I buy them before they can reject me.
What else can I do?
You could try being yourself.
No, actually.
That-- that's not gonna work.
You could try pretending to be someone else.
See, like, you could go up to a girl, and you could pretend to be, you know, uh...
a decent guy, for a goof.
And if she rejected you, it wouldn't matter, right?
Because you're not really being yourself anyway.
Who should I be?
I'm gonna say almost anyone is an improvement at this point.
I will.
I'll try that.
Good.
Thanks, Sam.
Okay.
Uh, and Harris?
Button up.
Honey, it's almost morning now.
Why don't you go home and get some sleep, huh?
I don't want to go home.
I want to go to Paris.
Listen.
I promise you, this very night, you will sleep in Paris.
You have my word.
Oop.
Yeah, what?
He found the camera.
The package is moving.
All right, got it.
I, uh...I gotta go.
I'm going with you.
Uh...
This is not fun and games.
It's my job.
No, I'm going with you.
You know what?
As a matter of fact, this particular part of my job could be, uh, fun.
So okay, come on.
Really?
Yeah.
Just hurry up.
Put on your shoes before I realize what a stupid idea this is.
Sure.
Let's go.
welcome to www.1000fr.com How are we doing today?
Just open the back.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
So, uh, we headed to the airport?
You'll ride with him.
Sorry, company policy is only employees can ride in the truck.
Of course.
Put the gun to his head.
Welcome aboard, my man.
Ha ha.
Hey, hey.
Careful, careful.
It's a bumpy ride.
Maybe you should keep the safety on.
Drive.
Okay.
Okay.
Hello?
Okay.
Got it, Ed.
Yeah, I'm tracking the truck right now.
Done.
Sorry.
Red light.
[truck honking and screeching] Watch where you're going!
The truck has stopped.
Positions ready.
What are you, blind?
Go.
What?
Drive!
No way.
It's a red light.
Drive, or I will shoot you in the head.
Driving.
Hey!
The package is moving.
Repeat, the package is moving.
That's him.
That's him, he's leaving.
Do something!
Who?
David Wohl!
Arrest him!
We don't arrest people.
We detain them.
Detain him, then.
We can't-- we don't know if he took anything.
Okay, let's go quickly.
Come on.
Yes sir, yes sir.
Open the back.
Hey, you guys got something illegal in there?
Shoot him.
I'm opening it.
I'm opening it.
Dela.
Get it on the plane.
Very carefully.
Go.
Carefully.
Hold it right there.
Just stop him right here.
Lemme see your hands.
Hey--oh.
My name is Levon Najar.
I have diplomatic immunity.
Subject to articles 29 and 31 of the Vienna Convention.
Have a nice flight, Mr.
Najar.
Whoa, whoa there.
Well, that's it?
This guy just stole a 3,000-year-old, uh, mummy here.
You gonna let him go like that?
Nothin