TV-Serie: Psych - 7x9
Previously on Psych...
I think it's time that we moved in together.
Home should be wherever you are.
Say cheese or something.
Oh!
Cheese or something!
Shawn, I need to ask you something.
Lassiter said you had a vision.
I'm good at what I do.
Are you telling me this is all a lie?
Please don't make me answer that.
I think maybe you're making too much of this.
Honesty is everything to me, Shawn.
You're not gonna tell anyone about the...
Don't worry.
Sweetheart, I am so sorry.
I know you don't think it's a big deal, but the more I think about it, the angrier I get.
What does that mean exactly?
I think you should move out.
Shawn...
You've been packing that same box for the last hour.
Well, I...
Whoa!
Hey, wait!
You can't throw that out.
I got you that shirt for your birthday.
Yeah, it's, uh...
It's not really my thing.
Jules, I spent some serious time, tireless search, looking for something that exuded style.
Something that said, "Fashion."
Well, it's a bit literal.
But I'm...
I'm happy to keep it.
I mean, if you want.
Buried in a drawer.
Uh, hey!
We, uh...
We still haven't divvied up those cereal boxes.
Shawn, I know what you're doing.
And prolonging this is only gonna make it harder for both of us.
Okay, I propose joint custody on the Froot Loops.
And, that I don't move out.
Shawn, come on!
This isn't easy for me either.
It wasn't my choice to blow this.
All right, you know what, Jules?
First of all, there are a lot of guys that blew it way worse than I did and got to keep their women.
Like Bill Clinton.
From what I understand, even Maria Shriver is starting to thaw a little.
Hey, if that's a, um, camera crew, and a makeover team, technically, I still live here.
Please.
Shawn, it's the girl I'm interviewing to be my new roommate.
What?
Her name is Kimberly.
You are kicking me out and replacing me on the same day?
She answered my ad on Craigslist.
Jules, only psychos answer ads on Craigslist.
You might as well have posted it on murder-me-this-instant-dot-com.
Hi.
Hi!
So nice to meet you.
I'm Kimberly.
Come on in.
Hi.
Wow!
All right, Kim.
Pop quiz!
Where does the lotion go?
Kimberly, this is my, uh, funny and slightly inappropriate friend, Shawn.
And he was just leaving.
You know, the photos in the ad do not do this place justice.
It's amazing.
Thank you.
Seriously, Kim.
Where does it go?
Where does the lotion go?
Don't answer that.
Where do you put the lotion?
You don't have to answer any questions that...
I don't...
Especially any questions about lotion.
Did you tell her about the bats?
The place is infested with bats.
How about Kathy, did you tell her about Kathy?
Who's Kathy?
Who's Kathy!
Just the ghost who lives here.
You know, she bleeds through the walls on occasion.
And she likes to cuddle on the day she was murdered.
I guess it's all pretty harmless stuff, as long as your soul is pure.
See?
I told you.
I mean, just so silly.
And you are leaving, right now?
Actually, I don't have anywhere to be.
My current roommate is apartment hunting too, and I'm really hoping she doesn't see this listing.
Is that horrible of me to say?
Yes, 100%, Kathy agrees.
Okay, okay.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Yeah.
Okay.
Have a seat.
I'm not just gonna give up on us, all right?
Okay.
Come on, man.
Just let me stay with you.
It'd be like old times.
You know?
Put somebody's finger in warm water while they're sleeping, or rub toothpaste all over their arms.
First of all, Shawn, we're not in our late 20's anymore.
And secondly, as much as my heart goes out to you, Rachael and Max are staying with me until their house gets fumigated.
Oh, wow.
So, you just get to play pretend family with an Indian princess while I'm stuck living on the streets, like Jamie Foxx with an old cello?
Yes.
Hey!
Hey, dad.
What are you doing here?
Oh, just donating some stuff to the Police League auction.
What's going on?
Shawn needs a place to stay.
Well, you know my door is always open.
Exactly.
Which is why I'm never setting foot in there again.
Ever since I saw you and my poor, unsuspecting mother...
Making love.
I died 10% inside.
Okay?
I'm serious.
I can't feel my armpits anymore.
Look at this.
You see this?
Are you seeing this?
I used to be ticklish under there.
All right, fine.
What's this?
Roommate needed at palatial beach front property.
What?
With unbelievably low rent.
What, are you kidding me?
Wow.
You got the Wood-man!
Woody?
No.
Hang up right now, Shawn.
Hang up right now.
Uh, hey, buddy!
Don't do it, Shawn.
Looking for a roommate, I hear.
Don't do it.
Don't lie to me, now, is this really, uh, waterfront?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's...
It's gorgeous.
I got a 20,000 square foot backyard...
Twenty thousand square feet!
...and it is crawling...
I don't care!
...with beach bunnies.
Like an episode of Baywatch.
That sounds beautiful, and exactly what I need.
No, it's not.
Count me in!
I wouldn't do it.
I'll see you in paradise, buddy.
You got it!
Call me David Chokachi.
No.
I'm living in a beach house.
With a middle-aged coroner.
In a beach house.
With a middle-aged coroner.
In a...
In...
With a...
With a...
Chokachi.
Coroner!
I'm not doing this with you right now, man.
Fine.
Move your ride, Phil!
I gotta get this baby down to the beach.
ASAP.
Hey, Jules.
Hey!
Jules!
Tough luck on the break-up there, Spencer.
But, on a positive note, you won me 300 bucks.
I bet Dobson you two wouldn't last.
Oh, by the way, there's a cool G in it for you if you start batting for the other team.
Think about it.
The nerve of that guy.
So, what's the plan?
The plan is to win Jules back.
Obviously.
Good luck, Shawn.
Shawn, it's not gonna work.
Oh, come on, Jules, just...
Just tell me I'm better company than Kimberly.
She's like Buffalo Bill with a red bow in her hair.
Yeah, well, Kimberly never called me back.
Thanks to your stories about Kathy, the vindictive poltergeist.
That's fair.
I did lie a little bit.
So, I'm going with this girl, Laura.
Laura?
That's great.
I'm helping her move in later.
That's awesome.
Jules.
First, I would like to sincerely apologize for everything I said about Kimberly.
Sincerely.
And second, I know why she didn't get back to you.
I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth I know, you know They just don't have any proof Embrace the deception Learn how to bend Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end I know, you know Hey, roomie.
Hey.
You wearing my sneakers?
No.
Well, one of them.
It's a new look I'm going for.
I call it, "The snoafer."
The snoafer?
Yeah!
Business on the left, party on the right.
It's like a footwear mullet.
I call it crazy.
Lassie!
You have a...
You have an extra room, don't you?
Yeah.
It's being painted.
And Mom and Althea are in the bomb shelter.
Oh, that reminds me, the Airstream is currently experiencing some plumbing issues, so, for the next two weeks, if it's yellow, let it mellow, and if it's brown, you're gonna wanna scoop it out, bag it and dispose of it somewhere else.
No, no, Gus.
You have to help me.
I can't scoop my own poop.
I told you.
No, I need you.
Uh, let me stay in the house.
Let me stay in Rachael's house, uh, in the fumigation tent.
Don't be ridiculous, Shawn.
I'm not being ridiculous.
You heard what...
Now, as for this one, uh, cause of death was acute blunt force trauma to the head.
The lack of blood at the crime scene would indicate that she was murdered elsewhere, and then moved.
Which would also explain why she had no ID on her.
Hey, O'Hara, I thought you were taking a personal day.
Well, this was a potential roommate of mine.
So, I thought I'd come down and help any way I can.
Her name would be great.
Kimberly.
Did you get a last name?
No, I didn't.
Well, that's some pretty serious Herman Cain style vetting there, Jules.
It was a quick meet to see if we clicked.
I was gonna check her background after she brought back the application.
Did you at least get a phone number?
No.
Uh, just an email address, but it was a dead end.
What can you give us?
Well, she was allergic to cats.
She liked bluegrass.
Whoa.
She liked bluegrass?
I think we can probably just for ego the DNA testing, don't you, guys?
Come on, Jules.
I get it.
You're feeling reckless, maybe a little bit crazy.
But don't you think it would be nice if there was someone hanging around the house who could remind you to be a little more cautious.
Maybe someone man-like, with kind hair.
And soft, full lips.
I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I can take care of myself.
Though I should do a better job at figuring out who people really are.
Let me know what I can do.
You can take care of me, Shawn.
Look at this space.
It's enormous.
Oh!
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
By the way, I love that locket.
Oh!
It's like something out of an Emily Bronte novel.
Thanks.
It was, um, my great-grandmother's.
This is, uh...
This is me and my mom.
Oh.
I haven't seen her in a really long time, so this is how I keep her close.
I'm sorry, I'm...
Such a crier.
No, no.
It's fine.
I've been doing my share of that lately as well.
Hey, we should go to Chillerz tonight.
You know?
Be each other's wing-woman if the mood strikes.
I would love to do that, but I've just got out of a complicated relationship.
So, I'm not really into meeting people.
I was in a serious relationship once and...
It was a nightmare.
So, what happened with your guy?
Let's just say Shawn had some issues with the truth.
Hmm.
Hey, ladies!
Oh, my God.
Uh, Shawn.
You can't just show up here unannounced.
I thought I had visitation rights with my Froot Loops.
I mean, our Froot Loops.
Look at them.
They grow up so fast.
Wait, that's your ex?
You know what, I think I will have a drink with you tonight.
Mmm-hmm, at Chillerz?
Yep.
Chillerz?
You know that place ends with a "Z," not an "S," right?
I've also heard that they make their potato skins with human skin.
You must be Laura.
Hi.
It is so nice to meet you.
Likewise.
Uh, I'm sensing you used to be a hipster or a hippie, or...
Maybe a little bit of both.
That is so awesome that you know that.
Yeah, Shawn, I mean, it's like you're psychic or something.
Or something.
Well, I have a ton of errands.
So, J, I will see you tonight at Chillerz.
Bye.
I can't believe I get to live here.
Even I'm jealous of me.
Buh-bye. "
Even I'm jealous of me"?
Schizoid!
Nice, too.
Clearly she's not gonna work out.
Laura is great and you know it.
You just came by here to find something wrong with her.
And, oh, my God.
We must talk about boundaries.
Jules, I'm here to talk about the case, Scout's honor.
The bluegrass lead hasn't quite beared as much fruit as I'd hoped.
So, can you remember her saying anything else?
Yes, that she liked Bikram yoga.
And I'm having Lassiter check it out.
How dare you be sitting on such an important piece of information?
What are you gonna do?
You gonna go visit every yoga studio in town?
No.
Because there's only one.
What did you think of Juliet's roommate?
I think she's weird.
I also think she has the hots for me.
You do realize you're the last person on Earth who says "the hots" with zero irony in your voice, right?
Okay, fine, she has the hubba-hubbas for me.
All right.
Class is starting, everybody!
Please put your stuff into your lockers!
Excuse us.
Uh.
We'd like to ask you a few questions about one of your students.
I'm about to teach a class.
How about after?
I have got back-to-back classes all day, sorry.
Why don't you try me tomorrow?
You know we have to...
No.
Yes.
How else...
No.
No.
No, Shawn.
Yes, yes, yes.
No.
No.
Yes.
Shawn!
I won!
Yeah.
Man!
Now, plant your palms, take a deep inhale and lift your heart.
Good.
Cobra pose.
Shoulders back.
Yeah, relax your face.
It's gotta be 100 degrees in here.
Hundred and five, actually.
Bikram uses heat to allow for deeper stretching.
Now, let's begin the slow transition from cobra into locust.
I got cobra!
I'm a cobra!
I'm a quarter locust.
Uh...
I'm a quarter of a locust.
Please help me, I'm afraid.
Okay, here.
I can't control my ass.
I can't control my ass.
I can't...
Oh.
Okay, okay.
You know what?
If I answer your question, will you stop trying to ruin my class?
Yes.
Perhaps so.
Have you taught a, uh...
A dark-haired girl named Kimberly?
Yeah, she's a regular.
Really?
What else can you tell me about her?
I don't know.
She's super sweet.
She walks to class every day.
Lives in a building close by, the Ivanhoe.
The Ivanhoe?
Let's bounce, Gus.
Gus, come on.
Gus, get up.
Get up.
Gus?
I'm a little parched, but I feel great.
That's because you just slept for 20 minutes.
Shawn!
Oh, hey.
Hi, I'm Laura.
Hi, hi.
I'm...
I didn't know you did Bikram.
Uh, yeah.
A variation where you wear all your clothes and your shoes.
That's why your skin's so clean.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
You're like, glistening.
I think I'm just hot from class.
Hey, we should take a yoga class together some time.
I'm still pretty into being Juliet's mat mate.
Oh, yeah, well, who wouldn't be.
I mean, she's awesome, right?
So together and easy-going.
We should go.
Okay.
Well, awesome.
Okay.
It was so random running into you.
Right?
Yeah.
Awesome.
Sweat it out.
Uh-huh.
Bye, Shawn.
Random?
Are you kidding me?
She has the hubba-hubbas for me.
Whatevs.
If I don't get some electrolytes into my system soon, I'm gonna go into renal failure.
I could eat.
Hello there, Dave.
I'm from the Santa Barbara Police Department.
I am psychic detective Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Blue Ivy Carter.
No pictures.
I'd like to ask a few questions about one of your tenants.
Her name's Kimberly.
Yeah, I remember her.
She lived with that tasty gal, Wendy.
Hmm.
Where is this tasty gal, Wendy?
Man, now I want a Frosty.
Or some chili.
And some Biggie fries, what?
Why you making that creepy face?
What?
Uh, they, uh, moved out, their lease ended.
Do you know her last name?
Yeah, it was, uh, Gale, or...
Goldfarb.
Goldfarb.
Goldfarb?
Gilliam.
Gilliam.
Yeah.
Wow, I can see that you are a master at your craft.
Gotta love what you do.
I hear that.
How about you just show us the apartment?
Yeah.
Well.
Now we know where Kimberly was killed.
All right, we're analyzing the blood for a match, but if my instincts are as strong as my belief that climate change is a hoax, it'll be Kimberly's.
This is ugly.
Whoever killed Kimberly is one bad dude.
Yeah, I'm sensing you used to be a hipster or a hippie, or maybe a little bit of both.
Or dudette.
Where the hell is Chillerz?
I know!
Dude, I still don't get it.
The nose ring found on the floor of Kimberly's apartment belonged to Laura.
It was her, Gus.
Laura killed Kimberly.
Why?
I have never seen a person more in love with an apartment than Laura.
Those hardwood floors made her thighs sweat.
She wanted to live there so bad that she killed Juliet's first choice of roommate to make it happen.
That theory is wacked.
If that's true, then she's a hall of famer nut job.
First ballot.
In fact, I'm surprised you haven't dated her.
That's Jules.
And she's flirting with those dudes.
This is not happening.
Okay, boys.
Chop, chop.
I think I'll take it from here.
What are you doing?
Shawn!
We have gotta stop running into each other like this.
So, what do you think of my new look?
It's good...
Good.
Uh, no, it's good.
I've been partial to this look for years now.
Well, I always wanted to be this blonde, so I thought what the hell, and I just went for it.
It feels so fresh.
It is fresh.
It's crazy fresh.
Mmm.
So what are you guys drinking?
Zimas.
They stopped making those four years ago.
Yeah.
We stockpiled, they're in the car.
We should go get them.
That's a great call.
We'll be...
We'll be back.
Well, we...
Book!
In related news, police are reporting that a local woman, Kimberly Gareth, was killed in her apartment here at the Ivanhoe, and then moved to a field nearby.
There are no suspects at this time.
We do have the building manager standing by.
Dave, could you come on over?
That is insane.
I gotta call Jules.
Hey.
What are you...
What are you guys doing here?
Hey!
Hey, hey.
Come here, come here.
Come, come, come.
Laura has gone full Single White Female.
And as the Steven Weber to your Bridget Fonda, I am seconds away from taking a stiletto to the eyeball.
And everyone knows that's the psycho deathblow!
What on Earth are you guys talking about?
Laura killed Kimberly so that you would pick her...
Yes.
...to be your roommate instead.
That is absurd and you know it!
Oh, yeah?
Really?
Feast your eyes on your evil twin.
It's like looking into a fun house mirror, isn't it?
What?
Shawn, if this is another one of your stall tactics, they have got to stop.
No.
Excuse me, ma'am.
You forgot your bag at the bar.
Thank you so much.
You see?
You see?
Even the waitresses can't tell you apart.
My God.
She must have six IDs here with different names.
Yeah.
Once for each voice in her head.
She's an identity thief.
With a key to my house.
Our house.
In the middle of our street.
We gotta go.
All of my clothes are gone!
All of them but this!
This!
I guess there is a silver lining to every tragedy.
Wendy.
We've heard this name before.
Wendy?
She lived with that tasty gal, Wendy.
Kimberly's building manager.
Kimberly's roommate must have been Laura, using the alias Wendy Spits-it-out-snuggle-stein.
Spitznagle.
It's German.
You're German.
Your mama's German.
You're wienie's German.
Stop it, Shawn.
That's disturbing.
No.
This is pure psycho.
Wendy slash Laura moved in with Kimberly, stole her identity and killed her!
I mean, she was probably planning on doing the same thing to you.
On an unrelated note, she had the hubba-hubbas for me.
Yeah, I think she had those for a lot of guys, Shawn.
No, I think it was something very specific about me.
Maybe my massive pheromones.
Hello?
Hey, party boy!
Let me guess, you met Laura earlier at Chillerz with a "Z."
Yeah, she gave me her deets, suggested I come by later.
Well, I hate to break it to you but she gives her deets to a lot of guys.
Plus, she's a murderer.
Are you single?
No!
No, she isn't.
Okay.
This got awkward.
It is a little awkward.
I'm gonna go.
Yeah.
Yep.
Well, it's getting pretty late.
Gus should probably go home.
What?
And I'll, uh, be crashing here just in case Jennifer Jason Leigh decides to come back.
Nice try, Shawn.
You're not staying here alone.
Absolutely not.
Stop.
I am armed, I am trained, I can take care of myself.
I know, just promise me you'll be extra careful.
I promise.
Oh, God.
See you this weekend, little dude.
Woody!
Uh, what the...
Hey, you made it!
Sorry about the confusion.
I had to relocate quickly.
What happened to the beach, man?
First, I had to move the Airstream to a nearby park because beach patrol has a zero tolerance policy on lightning rods and amateur glass blowing.
What about the pros?
No, pros are okay.
Then I had to move here because people at the park kept lining up at the window to order food.
I made 40 bucks slinging PB and J's and then split.
Woody, we're in an alley.
Next to the landfill.
You are right.
But don't worry, buddy.
I've got something that's gonna make up for it.
You fixed the toilet?
Better.
I wrestled up a couple of cougars from The Owl's Nest, the hottest dive bar in town.
Maylene, Thumper, this is my roomie, Shawn.
Hi, Don!
Hell, no.
Come on, roomie.
Fall on the grenade for me so I can have the other one.
Which one is the grenade?
I don't remember.
Woody, as enticing as this offer is, I'm not Tom Sizemore.
Plus, I'm still a little hung up on Jules.
I don't know how to break this to you, Shawn, but I'm pretty sure I saw Juliet at the Owl's Nest.
She was chatting up all kinds of guys.
That's impossible, she's at home.
I just...
Laura.
Laura!
I gotta call Jules.
I gotta tell her to get over there.
Right, you got it, roomie.
Wish me luck.
Okay, ladies.
Let's talk safe words.
What a pathetic juke joint.
This is where desperate, lonely people come to die, one scratchy spin of Against the Wind at a time.
Henry?
When did they turn this over from an Applebee's?
I must be at the wrong spot.
Henry!
I've never met that guy.
The usual?
Yeah, you must be thinking of a different Henry.
One Henry Spencer coming up.
Really?
This is what retirement looks like?
I took a bullet to the chest, Carlton.
I'm gonna start living life and I don't need judgments or crap spewing out of your happily-married ass, okay?
Speaking of which, Juliet, I'm so sorry about you and Shawn.
Really.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some flirting to do.
You Spencers are such a tragic pair.
One's picking up butts in this ashtray and the other's wasting our time on a bad lead.
Laura's not even here.
Wait.
I have an idea.
Hey, so I totally forgot to pay my tab before I left.
No, babe, you gave me cash.
You back for more?
Where did I go after?
How drunk are you?
Out back.
Okay.
You should probably just walk away.
Best day off ever.
That's Laura, let's go!
I see her up ahead.
Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara pursuing a white Jeep heading southbound on Roland road.
Requesting back-up for a felony stop.
She's driving like a mad woman.
How many drinks did she have?
Stay on her tail, she's still within reach.
Who is this maniac?
They're chasing her too!
Go get 'em!
Where'd they go?
Damnit!
Take that road up there on the right.
Oh, my God.
Someone went over the bridge.
That is when the black SUV cut us off.
Not a word.
It's all I have to wear.
Anyway, uh, her body was never found.
So she must have been ejected through the windshield upon impact.
The only thing we found in the car was this lady-type pantsuit jacket.
Looks like one of yours, O'Hara.
Well, that's because it is.
Right.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think Miss Buck's thieving past has finally come back to bite her in the ass.
Grifters always have legions of enemies, and I'm guessing the driver of this black Ford was leader of the pack.
They forced her off the road to get revenge.
All right, I'm gonna examine all of Laura's fake IDs and track down her former roommates.
Maybe one of them was the driver.
It could at least fill in some blanks.
Hey, Lassie, run that dash-cam footage back.
Uh, stop there.
I swear I've seen that car before.
Hello there, Dave.
Dude, we gotta go talk to that landlord again.
Could be him.
So, Dave iced Kimberly, Laura found out and then Dave ran her right off the road.
Why did you wait till now to tell me this in the hallway?
Because on the way over, we were singing LeVert.
It was Whodini, Shawn.
Man, you don't know who it was.
You guys.
Dave!
Sorry to interrupt you from being drunk and super sloppy, but we have one more question.
Do you drive a black Ford?
The only thing I drive is that Schwinn.
License got revoked back in the Reagan administration.
Do you know how many years ago that was?
It was like...
Don't, don't hurt yourself, Dave.
Wow.
It's not our guy.
No.
So, by chance, do you have any more info on Wendy?
No.
Oh!
Just some leftover mail that was delivered today.
Let's see here.
No, no.
This looks like a phone bill.
Huh?
Dude, what are you doing?
You're about to commit a federal crime.
Dave, my man, open this puppy for me, huh?
Yeah.
Get in there, son.
All up in there.
Bunch of calls to a 501 number.
Where the hell is that?
Little Rock, Arkansas.
What?
One of my favorite bathroom reads is areas and zips. "
Codes for Code Lovers."
I thought I was lonely.
Laynie!
I'm so sorry we got cut off.
Did you find the locket?
Who is this?
So, Laura is still alive?
Yes.
How do you know?
Well, I had a vision, uh, that one of her old phone bills was still lying around her apartment building.
So, we looked into it and discovered that a bunch of calls were made from a 501 area code.
We called the number and a very concerned woman answered, indicating that she'd just spoken to Laura.
Which means she is still alive because dead people only talk on the phone in movies.
Like Cuba Gooding Jr.
In Radio.
No, that's not right, that's not what that film was about.
Are you sure?
Yeah, Radio was about a...
A mentally challenged character with huge veneers who wanted to play football.
Oh.
Guys!
How do you explain what happened on the bridge?
Well, for starters, she didn't get run off the bridge.
If the black Ford had driven her off, then there would've been, uh, damage on both sides of the Jeep.
Which there wasn't.
She wanted everyone to think she had died, so she went out, she got liquored up in a public setting and she drove that Jeep off the bridge herself, intentionally.
Presumed dead, she's free to move on to her next scam.
Wow, uh, Shawn.
Saying that you're vision is correct, where do you think Laura is now?
Good question.
But here's the thing, her name's not Laura.
Nope.
That very concerned woman on the phone, lives in Arkansas.
So, guess who else probably lived there at some point?
Laura.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
Whose name really isn't Laura.
And guess what the woman on the phone called her?
Laynie.
She called her Laynie.
Which is probably her real name.
All right, I'll put in an APB for Laynie Stromwall, run a background check.
O'Hara, that search for Laura's old roommates paid off.
Sarah James, a woman she lived with in San Diego, is in interrogation right now.
Great, let's go.
That's how we do it, kid!
We still got our good stuff.
Shawn.
Things got weird after you left last night.
I don't know, Woody.
Things were already super weird before I left.
You know, things were going great with me and the gals until Thumper gave me this mint that wasn't very minty, and the next thing I knew, we were all riding unicorns!
Uh, Woody?
I don't think Thumper gave you a mint.
It sounds like a hallucinogen.
And then when I rode my graceful woodland creature back, the Airstream was gone!
What?
Gone!
What!
Woody, they stole our house?
Hi.
I'm Detective O'Hara.
Thank you for coming all the way from San Diego.
You're the roommate, right?
Yeah.
What kind of a roommate was she?
Amazing, actually.
I mean...
Sure she borrowed some clothes she never gave back, but she always paid her share of the rent early.
Took care of the phone bill...
Yeah, she was pretty low-key for the most part.
The only time she acted strange was the day she left.
What was strange about it?
Well, early that morning, we saw this car parked near our building and it seemed to rattle her.
And then, she just up and moved out.
Wait, the car that you guys saw, was it a black Ford SUV?
Yes.
It was.
O'Hara, we have something.
Okay.
Thank you so much, Sarah.
You've been a huge help.
Laynie's background check is clean.
She's a model citizen.
How can this girl run so many scams and not have a single blemish on her record?
And why would somebody change their identity over and over again if they weren't stealing identities or running from the law?
Why does Cuba keep doing such horrible movies?
The dude has an Academy Award.
Let it go, Gus.
Boat Trip, Shawn, Boat Trip.
There's something about that black car.
The roommate made it sound like that's the reason she fled San Diego.
Clearly she's fleeing from someone.
Otherwise, why would she cut and run every time that car comes around?
I was in a serious relationship once and...
It was a nightmare.
I am sensing that she is running from her ex.
Guys, this is no longer Single White Female.
This is Sleeping With The Enemy.
Running from the ex is the same thing you sensed with the Swedish girl, and you were wrong.
I prefer spiritually misguided.
You know what?
He may be right.
Laynie did mention having trouble with an ex.
Check this out.
Laura, uh, slash Laynie's wedding announcement from 2006.
There's no picture of this Patrick guy.
Is there another newspaper in Little Rock?
The Daily Herald.
What?
After I mastered area codes, the next logical step was local periodicals.
How on earth did you ever get a girlfriend?
Hey, party boy!
Oh, my God.
Jules, that's...
That's the same guy that came by your place yesterday.
It says here that his father is local law enforcement.
Which is why she couldn't get a restraining order.
And why she was running.
This psycho tracked her down and killed her roommate when she wouldn't tell him where Laynie was.
Laynie, completely desperate, figured out the only way she could get rid of him for good.
Appear as if she died.
Exactly.
Is it just me or am I sensing some of our old chemistry?
It's just you.
Okay.
Here's a problem, the APB's already out.
If this Patrick guy gets wind of it, he's gonna realize that she's still alive.
She's probably long gone.
I'm not so sure.
I mean, she could've fled the second she cleared out Juliet's place.
Something is keeping her here.
Laynie!
I'm so sorry we got cut off.
Did you find the locket?
Who is this?
I'm sensing she's looking for something, uh, very personal, possibly an heirloom.
Her great-grandmother's locket.
She got very emotional when she was talking about it.
Any idea where she'd be looking for it?
Hi, I'm Laura.
Okay, everybody, class is starting.
Please put your stuff into your lockers!
Yes!
Her locker at the yoga studio.
That would make sense!
She would take it off to work out.
Maybe she forgot.
Oh, my God.
I love your shirt.
See?
I must get a change of clothes immediately.
Okay, you guys go to the yoga studio, check it out.
We will all meet back here for an update.
Copy that.
It's not in here.
You sure this is Laura's locker?
Yeah, that's hers.
The heat isn't even on.
What's wrong with you?
I'm a sympathetic sweater.
I know.
I'm gonna need that back.
Laynie.
I am so sorry I lied to you, Juliet.
I've been running from my husband, moving from state to state, always looking over my shoulder.
I haven't had a normal life in seven years.
And so I try and act like this happy, normal girl.
I don't even know what that looks like anymore.
I thought I'd finally be safe living with a cop.
I didn't mean to involve you in all of this, and steal all your clothes, but I panicked.
I panicked, because I had to disguise myself right away, I am so sorry.
Please forgive me.
It's okay.
Laynie, it's okay.
You're safe now.
This all ends here, okay?
You don't know what Patrick's capable of.
That's him.
Jules' cell keeps going to voicemail.
I'm gonna try her at home.
You used to live there, how do you not remember your own home phone number?
Shh!
I put it under...
Oh, my gosh.
It's 555-0135.
How do you remember our home phone number?
It's a part of the Fibonacci sequence, how do you not remember it?
What did you just say to me?
Fibonacci.
You take that back!
It's just...
Damn, it's hot in here.
It's a busy signal.
That's not good.
We gotta get over there right now.
Laynie!
Or should I say Wendy?
Or Andrea?
Or Katelyn, or Cassidy?
Which one should I call ya?
Oh, please come out, baby.
I've missed you so much.
Life has been miserable without you.
We were supposed to be together forever, but then you left me.
Do you know how humiliating that was?
Hi, Patrick.
What the hell?
Jules!
I'm here!
Don't worry.
I'm coming!
Oh, God.
Jules!
I thought so.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
You're so lucky that you're unconscious right now!
It's all right, ladies.
You're safe now.
It's okay.
Shawn, I can totally have the landlord do this.
Uh, uh.
Jules, if we've learned anything this week, it's that landlords are unsavory individuals.
That and if a mysterious guy shows up at a suspect's house, we shoul
I think it's time that we moved in together.
Home should be wherever you are.
Say cheese or something.
Oh!
Cheese or something!
Shawn, I need to ask you something.
Lassiter said you had a vision.
I'm good at what I do.
Are you telling me this is all a lie?
Please don't make me answer that.
I think maybe you're making too much of this.
Honesty is everything to me, Shawn.
You're not gonna tell anyone about the...
Don't worry.
Sweetheart, I am so sorry.
I know you don't think it's a big deal, but the more I think about it, the angrier I get.
What does that mean exactly?
I think you should move out.
Shawn...
You've been packing that same box for the last hour.
Well, I...
Whoa!
Hey, wait!
You can't throw that out.
I got you that shirt for your birthday.
Yeah, it's, uh...
It's not really my thing.
Jules, I spent some serious time, tireless search, looking for something that exuded style.
Something that said, "Fashion."
Well, it's a bit literal.
But I'm...
I'm happy to keep it.
I mean, if you want.
Buried in a drawer.
Uh, hey!
We, uh...
We still haven't divvied up those cereal boxes.
Shawn, I know what you're doing.
And prolonging this is only gonna make it harder for both of us.
Okay, I propose joint custody on the Froot Loops.
And, that I don't move out.
Shawn, come on!
This isn't easy for me either.
It wasn't my choice to blow this.
All right, you know what, Jules?
First of all, there are a lot of guys that blew it way worse than I did and got to keep their women.
Like Bill Clinton.
From what I understand, even Maria Shriver is starting to thaw a little.
Hey, if that's a, um, camera crew, and a makeover team, technically, I still live here.
Please.
Shawn, it's the girl I'm interviewing to be my new roommate.
What?
Her name is Kimberly.
You are kicking me out and replacing me on the same day?
She answered my ad on Craigslist.
Jules, only psychos answer ads on Craigslist.
You might as well have posted it on murder-me-this-instant-dot-com.
Hi.
Hi!
So nice to meet you.
I'm Kimberly.
Come on in.
Hi.
Wow!
All right, Kim.
Pop quiz!
Where does the lotion go?
Kimberly, this is my, uh, funny and slightly inappropriate friend, Shawn.
And he was just leaving.
You know, the photos in the ad do not do this place justice.
It's amazing.
Thank you.
Seriously, Kim.
Where does it go?
Where does the lotion go?
Don't answer that.
Where do you put the lotion?
You don't have to answer any questions that...
I don't...
Especially any questions about lotion.
Did you tell her about the bats?
The place is infested with bats.
How about Kathy, did you tell her about Kathy?
Who's Kathy?
Who's Kathy!
Just the ghost who lives here.
You know, she bleeds through the walls on occasion.
And she likes to cuddle on the day she was murdered.
I guess it's all pretty harmless stuff, as long as your soul is pure.
See?
I told you.
I mean, just so silly.
And you are leaving, right now?
Actually, I don't have anywhere to be.
My current roommate is apartment hunting too, and I'm really hoping she doesn't see this listing.
Is that horrible of me to say?
Yes, 100%, Kathy agrees.
Okay, okay.
Let's go ahead and get started.
Yeah.
Okay.
Have a seat.
I'm not just gonna give up on us, all right?
Okay.
Come on, man.
Just let me stay with you.
It'd be like old times.
You know?
Put somebody's finger in warm water while they're sleeping, or rub toothpaste all over their arms.
First of all, Shawn, we're not in our late 20's anymore.
And secondly, as much as my heart goes out to you, Rachael and Max are staying with me until their house gets fumigated.
Oh, wow.
So, you just get to play pretend family with an Indian princess while I'm stuck living on the streets, like Jamie Foxx with an old cello?
Yes.
Hey!
Hey, dad.
What are you doing here?
Oh, just donating some stuff to the Police League auction.
What's going on?
Shawn needs a place to stay.
Well, you know my door is always open.
Exactly.
Which is why I'm never setting foot in there again.
Ever since I saw you and my poor, unsuspecting mother...
Making love.
I died 10% inside.
Okay?
I'm serious.
I can't feel my armpits anymore.
Look at this.
You see this?
Are you seeing this?
I used to be ticklish under there.
All right, fine.
What's this?
Roommate needed at palatial beach front property.
What?
With unbelievably low rent.
What, are you kidding me?
Wow.
You got the Wood-man!
Woody?
No.
Hang up right now, Shawn.
Hang up right now.
Uh, hey, buddy!
Don't do it, Shawn.
Looking for a roommate, I hear.
Don't do it.
Don't lie to me, now, is this really, uh, waterfront?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's...
It's gorgeous.
I got a 20,000 square foot backyard...
Twenty thousand square feet!
...and it is crawling...
I don't care!
...with beach bunnies.
Like an episode of Baywatch.
That sounds beautiful, and exactly what I need.
No, it's not.
Count me in!
I wouldn't do it.
I'll see you in paradise, buddy.
You got it!
Call me David Chokachi.
No.
I'm living in a beach house.
With a middle-aged coroner.
In a beach house.
With a middle-aged coroner.
In a...
In...
With a...
With a...
Chokachi.
Coroner!
I'm not doing this with you right now, man.
Fine.
Move your ride, Phil!
I gotta get this baby down to the beach.
ASAP.
Hey, Jules.
Hey!
Jules!
Tough luck on the break-up there, Spencer.
But, on a positive note, you won me 300 bucks.
I bet Dobson you two wouldn't last.
Oh, by the way, there's a cool G in it for you if you start batting for the other team.
Think about it.
The nerve of that guy.
So, what's the plan?
The plan is to win Jules back.
Obviously.
Good luck, Shawn.
Shawn, it's not gonna work.
Oh, come on, Jules, just...
Just tell me I'm better company than Kimberly.
She's like Buffalo Bill with a red bow in her hair.
Yeah, well, Kimberly never called me back.
Thanks to your stories about Kathy, the vindictive poltergeist.
That's fair.
I did lie a little bit.
So, I'm going with this girl, Laura.
Laura?
That's great.
I'm helping her move in later.
That's awesome.
Jules.
First, I would like to sincerely apologize for everything I said about Kimberly.
Sincerely.
And second, I know why she didn't get back to you.
I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth I know, you know They just don't have any proof Embrace the deception Learn how to bend Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end I know, you know Hey, roomie.
Hey.
You wearing my sneakers?
No.
Well, one of them.
It's a new look I'm going for.
I call it, "The snoafer."
The snoafer?
Yeah!
Business on the left, party on the right.
It's like a footwear mullet.
I call it crazy.
Lassie!
You have a...
You have an extra room, don't you?
Yeah.
It's being painted.
And Mom and Althea are in the bomb shelter.
Oh, that reminds me, the Airstream is currently experiencing some plumbing issues, so, for the next two weeks, if it's yellow, let it mellow, and if it's brown, you're gonna wanna scoop it out, bag it and dispose of it somewhere else.
No, no, Gus.
You have to help me.
I can't scoop my own poop.
I told you.
No, I need you.
Uh, let me stay in the house.
Let me stay in Rachael's house, uh, in the fumigation tent.
Don't be ridiculous, Shawn.
I'm not being ridiculous.
You heard what...
Now, as for this one, uh, cause of death was acute blunt force trauma to the head.
The lack of blood at the crime scene would indicate that she was murdered elsewhere, and then moved.
Which would also explain why she had no ID on her.
Hey, O'Hara, I thought you were taking a personal day.
Well, this was a potential roommate of mine.
So, I thought I'd come down and help any way I can.
Her name would be great.
Kimberly.
Did you get a last name?
No, I didn't.
Well, that's some pretty serious Herman Cain style vetting there, Jules.
It was a quick meet to see if we clicked.
I was gonna check her background after she brought back the application.
Did you at least get a phone number?
No.
Uh, just an email address, but it was a dead end.
What can you give us?
Well, she was allergic to cats.
She liked bluegrass.
Whoa.
She liked bluegrass?
I think we can probably just for ego the DNA testing, don't you, guys?
Come on, Jules.
I get it.
You're feeling reckless, maybe a little bit crazy.
But don't you think it would be nice if there was someone hanging around the house who could remind you to be a little more cautious.
Maybe someone man-like, with kind hair.
And soft, full lips.
I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I can take care of myself.
Though I should do a better job at figuring out who people really are.
Let me know what I can do.
You can take care of me, Shawn.
Look at this space.
It's enormous.
Oh!
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
By the way, I love that locket.
Oh!
It's like something out of an Emily Bronte novel.
Thanks.
It was, um, my great-grandmother's.
This is, uh...
This is me and my mom.
Oh.
I haven't seen her in a really long time, so this is how I keep her close.
I'm sorry, I'm...
Such a crier.
No, no.
It's fine.
I've been doing my share of that lately as well.
Hey, we should go to Chillerz tonight.
You know?
Be each other's wing-woman if the mood strikes.
I would love to do that, but I've just got out of a complicated relationship.
So, I'm not really into meeting people.
I was in a serious relationship once and...
It was a nightmare.
So, what happened with your guy?
Let's just say Shawn had some issues with the truth.
Hmm.
Hey, ladies!
Oh, my God.
Uh, Shawn.
You can't just show up here unannounced.
I thought I had visitation rights with my Froot Loops.
I mean, our Froot Loops.
Look at them.
They grow up so fast.
Wait, that's your ex?
You know what, I think I will have a drink with you tonight.
Mmm-hmm, at Chillerz?
Yep.
Chillerz?
You know that place ends with a "Z," not an "S," right?
I've also heard that they make their potato skins with human skin.
You must be Laura.
Hi.
It is so nice to meet you.
Likewise.
Uh, I'm sensing you used to be a hipster or a hippie, or...
Maybe a little bit of both.
That is so awesome that you know that.
Yeah, Shawn, I mean, it's like you're psychic or something.
Or something.
Well, I have a ton of errands.
So, J, I will see you tonight at Chillerz.
Bye.
I can't believe I get to live here.
Even I'm jealous of me.
Buh-bye. "
Even I'm jealous of me"?
Schizoid!
Nice, too.
Clearly she's not gonna work out.
Laura is great and you know it.
You just came by here to find something wrong with her.
And, oh, my God.
We must talk about boundaries.
Jules, I'm here to talk about the case, Scout's honor.
The bluegrass lead hasn't quite beared as much fruit as I'd hoped.
So, can you remember her saying anything else?
Yes, that she liked Bikram yoga.
And I'm having Lassiter check it out.
How dare you be sitting on such an important piece of information?
What are you gonna do?
You gonna go visit every yoga studio in town?
No.
Because there's only one.
What did you think of Juliet's roommate?
I think she's weird.
I also think she has the hots for me.
You do realize you're the last person on Earth who says "the hots" with zero irony in your voice, right?
Okay, fine, she has the hubba-hubbas for me.
All right.
Class is starting, everybody!
Please put your stuff into your lockers!
Excuse us.
Uh.
We'd like to ask you a few questions about one of your students.
I'm about to teach a class.
How about after?
I have got back-to-back classes all day, sorry.
Why don't you try me tomorrow?
You know we have to...
No.
Yes.
How else...
No.
No.
No, Shawn.
Yes, yes, yes.
No.
No.
Yes.
Shawn!
I won!
Yeah.
Man!
Now, plant your palms, take a deep inhale and lift your heart.
Good.
Cobra pose.
Shoulders back.
Yeah, relax your face.
It's gotta be 100 degrees in here.
Hundred and five, actually.
Bikram uses heat to allow for deeper stretching.
Now, let's begin the slow transition from cobra into locust.
I got cobra!
I'm a cobra!
I'm a quarter locust.
Uh...
I'm a quarter of a locust.
Please help me, I'm afraid.
Okay, here.
I can't control my ass.
I can't control my ass.
I can't...
Oh.
Okay, okay.
You know what?
If I answer your question, will you stop trying to ruin my class?
Yes.
Perhaps so.
Have you taught a, uh...
A dark-haired girl named Kimberly?
Yeah, she's a regular.
Really?
What else can you tell me about her?
I don't know.
She's super sweet.
She walks to class every day.
Lives in a building close by, the Ivanhoe.
The Ivanhoe?
Let's bounce, Gus.
Gus, come on.
Gus, get up.
Get up.
Gus?
I'm a little parched, but I feel great.
That's because you just slept for 20 minutes.
Shawn!
Oh, hey.
Hi, I'm Laura.
Hi, hi.
I'm...
I didn't know you did Bikram.
Uh, yeah.
A variation where you wear all your clothes and your shoes.
That's why your skin's so clean.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
You're like, glistening.
I think I'm just hot from class.
Hey, we should take a yoga class together some time.
I'm still pretty into being Juliet's mat mate.
Oh, yeah, well, who wouldn't be.
I mean, she's awesome, right?
So together and easy-going.
We should go.
Okay.
Well, awesome.
Okay.
It was so random running into you.
Right?
Yeah.
Awesome.
Sweat it out.
Uh-huh.
Bye, Shawn.
Random?
Are you kidding me?
She has the hubba-hubbas for me.
Whatevs.
If I don't get some electrolytes into my system soon, I'm gonna go into renal failure.
I could eat.
Hello there, Dave.
I'm from the Santa Barbara Police Department.
I am psychic detective Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Blue Ivy Carter.
No pictures.
I'd like to ask a few questions about one of your tenants.
Her name's Kimberly.
Yeah, I remember her.
She lived with that tasty gal, Wendy.
Hmm.
Where is this tasty gal, Wendy?
Man, now I want a Frosty.
Or some chili.
And some Biggie fries, what?
Why you making that creepy face?
What?
Uh, they, uh, moved out, their lease ended.
Do you know her last name?
Yeah, it was, uh, Gale, or...
Goldfarb.
Goldfarb.
Goldfarb?
Gilliam.
Gilliam.
Yeah.
Wow, I can see that you are a master at your craft.
Gotta love what you do.
I hear that.
How about you just show us the apartment?
Yeah.
Well.
Now we know where Kimberly was killed.
All right, we're analyzing the blood for a match, but if my instincts are as strong as my belief that climate change is a hoax, it'll be Kimberly's.
This is ugly.
Whoever killed Kimberly is one bad dude.
Yeah, I'm sensing you used to be a hipster or a hippie, or maybe a little bit of both.
Or dudette.
Where the hell is Chillerz?
I know!
Dude, I still don't get it.
The nose ring found on the floor of Kimberly's apartment belonged to Laura.
It was her, Gus.
Laura killed Kimberly.
Why?
I have never seen a person more in love with an apartment than Laura.
Those hardwood floors made her thighs sweat.
She wanted to live there so bad that she killed Juliet's first choice of roommate to make it happen.
That theory is wacked.
If that's true, then she's a hall of famer nut job.
First ballot.
In fact, I'm surprised you haven't dated her.
That's Jules.
And she's flirting with those dudes.
This is not happening.
Okay, boys.
Chop, chop.
I think I'll take it from here.
What are you doing?
Shawn!
We have gotta stop running into each other like this.
So, what do you think of my new look?
It's good...
Good.
Uh, no, it's good.
I've been partial to this look for years now.
Well, I always wanted to be this blonde, so I thought what the hell, and I just went for it.
It feels so fresh.
It is fresh.
It's crazy fresh.
Mmm.
So what are you guys drinking?
Zimas.
They stopped making those four years ago.
Yeah.
We stockpiled, they're in the car.
We should go get them.
That's a great call.
We'll be...
We'll be back.
Well, we...
Book!
In related news, police are reporting that a local woman, Kimberly Gareth, was killed in her apartment here at the Ivanhoe, and then moved to a field nearby.
There are no suspects at this time.
We do have the building manager standing by.
Dave, could you come on over?
That is insane.
I gotta call Jules.
Hey.
What are you...
What are you guys doing here?
Hey!
Hey, hey.
Come here, come here.
Come, come, come.
Laura has gone full Single White Female.
And as the Steven Weber to your Bridget Fonda, I am seconds away from taking a stiletto to the eyeball.
And everyone knows that's the psycho deathblow!
What on Earth are you guys talking about?
Laura killed Kimberly so that you would pick her...
Yes.
...to be your roommate instead.
That is absurd and you know it!
Oh, yeah?
Really?
Feast your eyes on your evil twin.
It's like looking into a fun house mirror, isn't it?
What?
Shawn, if this is another one of your stall tactics, they have got to stop.
No.
Excuse me, ma'am.
You forgot your bag at the bar.
Thank you so much.
You see?
You see?
Even the waitresses can't tell you apart.
My God.
She must have six IDs here with different names.
Yeah.
Once for each voice in her head.
She's an identity thief.
With a key to my house.
Our house.
In the middle of our street.
We gotta go.
All of my clothes are gone!
All of them but this!
This!
I guess there is a silver lining to every tragedy.
Wendy.
We've heard this name before.
Wendy?
She lived with that tasty gal, Wendy.
Kimberly's building manager.
Kimberly's roommate must have been Laura, using the alias Wendy Spits-it-out-snuggle-stein.
Spitznagle.
It's German.
You're German.
Your mama's German.
You're wienie's German.
Stop it, Shawn.
That's disturbing.
No.
This is pure psycho.
Wendy slash Laura moved in with Kimberly, stole her identity and killed her!
I mean, she was probably planning on doing the same thing to you.
On an unrelated note, she had the hubba-hubbas for me.
Yeah, I think she had those for a lot of guys, Shawn.
No, I think it was something very specific about me.
Maybe my massive pheromones.
Hello?
Hey, party boy!
Let me guess, you met Laura earlier at Chillerz with a "Z."
Yeah, she gave me her deets, suggested I come by later.
Well, I hate to break it to you but she gives her deets to a lot of guys.
Plus, she's a murderer.
Are you single?
No!
No, she isn't.
Okay.
This got awkward.
It is a little awkward.
I'm gonna go.
Yeah.
Yep.
Well, it's getting pretty late.
Gus should probably go home.
What?
And I'll, uh, be crashing here just in case Jennifer Jason Leigh decides to come back.
Nice try, Shawn.
You're not staying here alone.
Absolutely not.
Stop.
I am armed, I am trained, I can take care of myself.
I know, just promise me you'll be extra careful.
I promise.
Oh, God.
See you this weekend, little dude.
Woody!
Uh, what the...
Hey, you made it!
Sorry about the confusion.
I had to relocate quickly.
What happened to the beach, man?
First, I had to move the Airstream to a nearby park because beach patrol has a zero tolerance policy on lightning rods and amateur glass blowing.
What about the pros?
No, pros are okay.
Then I had to move here because people at the park kept lining up at the window to order food.
I made 40 bucks slinging PB and J's and then split.
Woody, we're in an alley.
Next to the landfill.
You are right.
But don't worry, buddy.
I've got something that's gonna make up for it.
You fixed the toilet?
Better.
I wrestled up a couple of cougars from The Owl's Nest, the hottest dive bar in town.
Maylene, Thumper, this is my roomie, Shawn.
Hi, Don!
Hell, no.
Come on, roomie.
Fall on the grenade for me so I can have the other one.
Which one is the grenade?
I don't remember.
Woody, as enticing as this offer is, I'm not Tom Sizemore.
Plus, I'm still a little hung up on Jules.
I don't know how to break this to you, Shawn, but I'm pretty sure I saw Juliet at the Owl's Nest.
She was chatting up all kinds of guys.
That's impossible, she's at home.
I just...
Laura.
Laura!
I gotta call Jules.
I gotta tell her to get over there.
Right, you got it, roomie.
Wish me luck.
Okay, ladies.
Let's talk safe words.
What a pathetic juke joint.
This is where desperate, lonely people come to die, one scratchy spin of Against the Wind at a time.
Henry?
When did they turn this over from an Applebee's?
I must be at the wrong spot.
Henry!
I've never met that guy.
The usual?
Yeah, you must be thinking of a different Henry.
One Henry Spencer coming up.
Really?
This is what retirement looks like?
I took a bullet to the chest, Carlton.
I'm gonna start living life and I don't need judgments or crap spewing out of your happily-married ass, okay?
Speaking of which, Juliet, I'm so sorry about you and Shawn.
Really.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some flirting to do.
You Spencers are such a tragic pair.
One's picking up butts in this ashtray and the other's wasting our time on a bad lead.
Laura's not even here.
Wait.
I have an idea.
Hey, so I totally forgot to pay my tab before I left.
No, babe, you gave me cash.
You back for more?
Where did I go after?
How drunk are you?
Out back.
Okay.
You should probably just walk away.
Best day off ever.
That's Laura, let's go!
I see her up ahead.
Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara pursuing a white Jeep heading southbound on Roland road.
Requesting back-up for a felony stop.
She's driving like a mad woman.
How many drinks did she have?
Stay on her tail, she's still within reach.
Who is this maniac?
They're chasing her too!
Go get 'em!
Where'd they go?
Damnit!
Take that road up there on the right.
Oh, my God.
Someone went over the bridge.
That is when the black SUV cut us off.
Not a word.
It's all I have to wear.
Anyway, uh, her body was never found.
So she must have been ejected through the windshield upon impact.
The only thing we found in the car was this lady-type pantsuit jacket.
Looks like one of yours, O'Hara.
Well, that's because it is.
Right.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think Miss Buck's thieving past has finally come back to bite her in the ass.
Grifters always have legions of enemies, and I'm guessing the driver of this black Ford was leader of the pack.
They forced her off the road to get revenge.
All right, I'm gonna examine all of Laura's fake IDs and track down her former roommates.
Maybe one of them was the driver.
It could at least fill in some blanks.
Hey, Lassie, run that dash-cam footage back.
Uh, stop there.
I swear I've seen that car before.
Hello there, Dave.
Dude, we gotta go talk to that landlord again.
Could be him.
So, Dave iced Kimberly, Laura found out and then Dave ran her right off the road.
Why did you wait till now to tell me this in the hallway?
Because on the way over, we were singing LeVert.
It was Whodini, Shawn.
Man, you don't know who it was.
You guys.
Dave!
Sorry to interrupt you from being drunk and super sloppy, but we have one more question.
Do you drive a black Ford?
The only thing I drive is that Schwinn.
License got revoked back in the Reagan administration.
Do you know how many years ago that was?
It was like...
Don't, don't hurt yourself, Dave.
Wow.
It's not our guy.
No.
So, by chance, do you have any more info on Wendy?
No.
Oh!
Just some leftover mail that was delivered today.
Let's see here.
No, no.
This looks like a phone bill.
Huh?
Dude, what are you doing?
You're about to commit a federal crime.
Dave, my man, open this puppy for me, huh?
Yeah.
Get in there, son.
All up in there.
Bunch of calls to a 501 number.
Where the hell is that?
Little Rock, Arkansas.
What?
One of my favorite bathroom reads is areas and zips. "
Codes for Code Lovers."
I thought I was lonely.
Laynie!
I'm so sorry we got cut off.
Did you find the locket?
Who is this?
So, Laura is still alive?
Yes.
How do you know?
Well, I had a vision, uh, that one of her old phone bills was still lying around her apartment building.
So, we looked into it and discovered that a bunch of calls were made from a 501 area code.
We called the number and a very concerned woman answered, indicating that she'd just spoken to Laura.
Which means she is still alive because dead people only talk on the phone in movies.
Like Cuba Gooding Jr.
In Radio.
No, that's not right, that's not what that film was about.
Are you sure?
Yeah, Radio was about a...
A mentally challenged character with huge veneers who wanted to play football.
Oh.
Guys!
How do you explain what happened on the bridge?
Well, for starters, she didn't get run off the bridge.
If the black Ford had driven her off, then there would've been, uh, damage on both sides of the Jeep.
Which there wasn't.
She wanted everyone to think she had died, so she went out, she got liquored up in a public setting and she drove that Jeep off the bridge herself, intentionally.
Presumed dead, she's free to move on to her next scam.
Wow, uh, Shawn.
Saying that you're vision is correct, where do you think Laura is now?
Good question.
But here's the thing, her name's not Laura.
Nope.
That very concerned woman on the phone, lives in Arkansas.
So, guess who else probably lived there at some point?
Laura.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
Whose name really isn't Laura.
And guess what the woman on the phone called her?
Laynie.
She called her Laynie.
Which is probably her real name.
All right, I'll put in an APB for Laynie Stromwall, run a background check.
O'Hara, that search for Laura's old roommates paid off.
Sarah James, a woman she lived with in San Diego, is in interrogation right now.
Great, let's go.
That's how we do it, kid!
We still got our good stuff.
Shawn.
Things got weird after you left last night.
I don't know, Woody.
Things were already super weird before I left.
You know, things were going great with me and the gals until Thumper gave me this mint that wasn't very minty, and the next thing I knew, we were all riding unicorns!
Uh, Woody?
I don't think Thumper gave you a mint.
It sounds like a hallucinogen.
And then when I rode my graceful woodland creature back, the Airstream was gone!
What?
Gone!
What!
Woody, they stole our house?
Hi.
I'm Detective O'Hara.
Thank you for coming all the way from San Diego.
You're the roommate, right?
Yeah.
What kind of a roommate was she?
Amazing, actually.
I mean...
Sure she borrowed some clothes she never gave back, but she always paid her share of the rent early.
Took care of the phone bill...
Yeah, she was pretty low-key for the most part.
The only time she acted strange was the day she left.
What was strange about it?
Well, early that morning, we saw this car parked near our building and it seemed to rattle her.
And then, she just up and moved out.
Wait, the car that you guys saw, was it a black Ford SUV?
Yes.
It was.
O'Hara, we have something.
Okay.
Thank you so much, Sarah.
You've been a huge help.
Laynie's background check is clean.
She's a model citizen.
How can this girl run so many scams and not have a single blemish on her record?
And why would somebody change their identity over and over again if they weren't stealing identities or running from the law?
Why does Cuba keep doing such horrible movies?
The dude has an Academy Award.
Let it go, Gus.
Boat Trip, Shawn, Boat Trip.
There's something about that black car.
The roommate made it sound like that's the reason she fled San Diego.
Clearly she's fleeing from someone.
Otherwise, why would she cut and run every time that car comes around?
I was in a serious relationship once and...
It was a nightmare.
I am sensing that she is running from her ex.
Guys, this is no longer Single White Female.
This is Sleeping With The Enemy.
Running from the ex is the same thing you sensed with the Swedish girl, and you were wrong.
I prefer spiritually misguided.
You know what?
He may be right.
Laynie did mention having trouble with an ex.
Check this out.
Laura, uh, slash Laynie's wedding announcement from 2006.
There's no picture of this Patrick guy.
Is there another newspaper in Little Rock?
The Daily Herald.
What?
After I mastered area codes, the next logical step was local periodicals.
How on earth did you ever get a girlfriend?
Hey, party boy!
Oh, my God.
Jules, that's...
That's the same guy that came by your place yesterday.
It says here that his father is local law enforcement.
Which is why she couldn't get a restraining order.
And why she was running.
This psycho tracked her down and killed her roommate when she wouldn't tell him where Laynie was.
Laynie, completely desperate, figured out the only way she could get rid of him for good.
Appear as if she died.
Exactly.
Is it just me or am I sensing some of our old chemistry?
It's just you.
Okay.
Here's a problem, the APB's already out.
If this Patrick guy gets wind of it, he's gonna realize that she's still alive.
She's probably long gone.
I'm not so sure.
I mean, she could've fled the second she cleared out Juliet's place.
Something is keeping her here.
Laynie!
I'm so sorry we got cut off.
Did you find the locket?
Who is this?
I'm sensing she's looking for something, uh, very personal, possibly an heirloom.
Her great-grandmother's locket.
She got very emotional when she was talking about it.
Any idea where she'd be looking for it?
Hi, I'm Laura.
Okay, everybody, class is starting.
Please put your stuff into your lockers!
Yes!
Her locker at the yoga studio.
That would make sense!
She would take it off to work out.
Maybe she forgot.
Oh, my God.
I love your shirt.
See?
I must get a change of clothes immediately.
Okay, you guys go to the yoga studio, check it out.
We will all meet back here for an update.
Copy that.
It's not in here.
You sure this is Laura's locker?
Yeah, that's hers.
The heat isn't even on.
What's wrong with you?
I'm a sympathetic sweater.
I know.
I'm gonna need that back.
Laynie.
I am so sorry I lied to you, Juliet.
I've been running from my husband, moving from state to state, always looking over my shoulder.
I haven't had a normal life in seven years.
And so I try and act like this happy, normal girl.
I don't even know what that looks like anymore.
I thought I'd finally be safe living with a cop.
I didn't mean to involve you in all of this, and steal all your clothes, but I panicked.
I panicked, because I had to disguise myself right away, I am so sorry.
Please forgive me.
It's okay.
Laynie, it's okay.
You're safe now.
This all ends here, okay?
You don't know what Patrick's capable of.
That's him.
Jules' cell keeps going to voicemail.
I'm gonna try her at home.
You used to live there, how do you not remember your own home phone number?
Shh!
I put it under...
Oh, my gosh.
It's 555-0135.
How do you remember our home phone number?
It's a part of the Fibonacci sequence, how do you not remember it?
What did you just say to me?
Fibonacci.
You take that back!
It's just...
Damn, it's hot in here.
It's a busy signal.
That's not good.
We gotta get over there right now.
Laynie!
Or should I say Wendy?
Or Andrea?
Or Katelyn, or Cassidy?
Which one should I call ya?
Oh, please come out, baby.
I've missed you so much.
Life has been miserable without you.
We were supposed to be together forever, but then you left me.
Do you know how humiliating that was?
Hi, Patrick.
What the hell?
Jules!
I'm here!
Don't worry.
I'm coming!
Oh, God.
Jules!
I thought so.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
You're so lucky that you're unconscious right now!
It's all right, ladies.
You're safe now.
It's okay.
Shawn, I can totally have the landlord do this.
Uh, uh.
Jules, if we've learned anything this week, it's that landlords are unsavory individuals.
That and if a mysterious guy shows up at a suspect's house, we shoul